Chapter 116

Staring at Helion, Lucien blinked, willing his heart to slow its rapid pace. "Why?" he asked, his voice sounding far more calm than he felt. "Why is that interesting? Do you think that someone like her couldn't be mated to someone like me?"

Helion raised an eyebrow in question. "Someone like you?"

Lucien barely blinked. "I'm…" he didn't know what to say. He wasn't who he had always thought he was, and he didn't really know who he was now at all. "… an exile."

Leaning back in his chair, Helion steepled his fingers together as he looked at Lucien who felt restless under that amber gaze. "It seems to me that you're an intelligent and highly trained courtier, who has made himself useful no matter where he has gone."

Not knowing how to respond to that, Lucien remained silent for several moments. Eventually, his brain began to work again and he forced himself to swallow before he was able to speak. "Why is it interesting that Elain is my mate, then?"

"Because she is so… powerful." Helion said softly, and Lucien tilted his head. "She could only ever be the mate of a High Lord's son…" He knew, Lucien reminded himself. Helion knew who they were to one another. He also knew that the other male wasn't referring to him as Beron's son.

"What are you getting at?"

"You handle yourself well…" Helion told him and Lucien resisted narrowing his eyes at him. "Even when you are angry, you show nothing of it on your face."

"That's rarely the case." Lucien said, indicating the left side of his face, and the scar Amarantha had given him when she had ripped his eye out. "Usually I just say exactly what I think."

"Yet you are capable of measured responses. Your mother has trained you well." Lucien saw Helion's expression soften just a little.

"You…" he began as it dawned on him what Helion had been doing, "you were testing me…"

The High Lord gave a small grin. "Ah…"

"Touching Elain… you… you wanted to see my reaction!"

"As you say," Helion began, "You tend to say exactly what is on your mind and you do have a reputation for being a little… unconventional." Lucien just blinked at him. "I… wanted to see for myself."

"Why?" Lucien was tired of playing. He just wanted answers.

"Your mother…" Helion lifted a hand to run through his black hair. "She spoke to me about you…"

"I know."

Helion's eyes met his then and the High Lord was silent for several moments. "You… are my son."

"I know…" Lucien could barely breathe.

"I… do not have any other children." Helion said. "It seemed a faster way of getting to know who you are."

"So you thought you would put your hands on my mate…"

"Yes." Helion looked him over, "I wanted to see if you yielded to reason or if your reaction was more… suited to what I imagine would come out of the Autumn Court."

"You wanted to see if I was a savage?"

"You were raised thinking you were Beron's son… and then you spent time in the Spring Court, and we are all aware of Tamlin's inner… wildness."

Lucien couldn't tell if he was meant to be insulted by this assessment, or not. "And what did you decide?"

"That your mother trained you well. You're reasonable and intelligent… and you have a great deal of self-control."

"And what does that mean?" Lucien asked, "For your little test?"

"That you could make a good High Lord."

"What?" Lucien stared at him. Surely he'd misheard.

"I said before, I don't have any other children." Helion said, "And, until Ashk told me of you, I was unaware I had any at all." Helion's gaze dropped to his hands for a moment. "I would very much like to get to know you better… If that is something that you would also want to do."

"Yes." Lucien had responded before he'd even had the chance to consider. Helion smiled briefly. "…did you love my mother?"

"I…" the High Lord smiled again. "Yes… I have been unable to see her since…" Amber eyes moved over Lucien, "Well, since you were born. I suppose that is when Beron learned of our relationship and began to keep her from me."

"And now?" Lucien asked.

"I am thankful that she has come here to speak to me… that she told me about you… that she is here."

"Do you still love her?"

Helion looked at him solemnly. "That would be easier to answer honestly after we have had the chance to spend some time together and relearn who one another is after all this time."

"That make sense." He murmured, remembering the look in his mother's eyes as she had watched Helion from across the sitting room the night before. "Can she stay here?"

"For as long as she likes." Lucien recalled the last time his mother had spoken to him about leaving the Autumn Court, how she had told him that Autumn was in her blood and that was where she belonged. "If Eris let her." Helion added.

"If she wanted to, I believe he would."

Helion nodded thoughtfully. "If she did stay, might you?"

Lucien found himself just staring at Helion again. He had dearly missed his mother since he had fled the Autumn Court all those years ago, and he hadn't ever really thought he would have the opportunity to live somewhere he would be able to see her freely ever again. "Here?" He asked, "With you?"

"It would be easier to get to know one another that way." Helion seemed almost amused again, and something about that eased the tension in Lucien.

"I…" he paused, "I would need to discuss it with Elain." He eventually said, his voice soft. "It is not my decision to make alone."

"Of course."

"I do thank you for the offer…" He also wanted to ask his mother how she might feel about the idea. "Elain has enjoyed … well, all of the Courts as we have visited them…"

"I can believe that."

"We had discussed returning to the Dawn Court. Thesan told us we could have a place there if we want it."

Helion looked thoughtful for a moment. "It is a beautiful Court."

"It is."

"Perhaps," the older male ventured, "after you have spent a little time here, you might wish to stay in the Day Court."

Lucien smiled ad nodded. He would consider it, and he would talk to Elain. He could not deny that he did wish to get to know Helion, and it was true that staying in the Day Court would make that easier. The High Lord repeatedly pointing out that he didn't have any other children, and that he thought Lucien would make a good High Lord was also not something to be dismissed. Would Helion really consider him an heir?

He had spent so long believing that he was unimportant, nothing special, and a burden to anyone who displayed him any kind of hospitality. He had always tried to compensate for that by making himself useful and trying his best to be valuable. If Helion was genuine in wishing to know him, develop a relationship with him, and Lucien supposed that interest was genuine if he had bothered trying to test his character, then all of that could change. He had begun to change, he told himself, when Elain had entered his life. She was worth so very much, and the Cauldron had deemed him her match. She loved him, and that meant he wasn't nothing important.

When Helion's long fingers tapped Lucien's book, Lucien blinked his way out of his thoughts. "Ah… I suppose we should get back to this…" he agreed, nodding and Helion leaned back in his chair with a smile.