Chapter 125

When Elain's tears had dried a little, Lucien had packed up the books they had read and put them back on the shelves from where they had come. He had then taken Elain to the books on flowers across Prythian and she had selected several that she would like to look at more closely, and they had borrowed them. Lucien had carried them back to the palace and the room that he and Elain shared, and he set them now on the desk by the window. They had missed lunch, but they went looking for something to eat all the same.

He had noticed well before they'd left the library, that Elain was quiet. She was also a little extra touchy with him, and he had noticed, not without some actual enjoyment, that she was keeping close beside him, her arm touching his or her hand resting on whatever part of his body was closest. Lucien hadn't minded that she was touching him, but he was worried about how quiet she was being. He knew that he was talking more than usual in an attempt to make up for it, and to fill the silence. It wasn't that their silences were ever uncomfortable or awkward, but he found himself almost desperate to hear her speak, and so he kept trying to ask her questions or get her involved in conversation with him.

After they had been wandering for a while, someone offered to send them a tray of food to their room as there would still be several hours before dinner. Lucien had cleared the books off the desk by the window and made space for the plates from the tray, and he sat down beside it, his eyes on Elain who was still silent. Her hands were twisting together in her lap and her brown gaze was focused upon the food in the middle of the desk.

"Anything look good to you?" he asked, hopeful. She nodded.

"It all looks nice." She murmured.

Lucien watched her selecting bits and pieces to put onto her plate and then he tried to think of something else to ask her, wanting to get her talking again. "Out of all the flowers you have seen," he began, "in all of the Courts, because you've seen them all now…" he watched as her brown eyes flicked up to meet his, "Do you have a new favourite flower?"

"I…" she bit her lip, "the Iceblume stands out…" she eventually said after a moment, then shook her head, "That wouldn't be my favourite, though." Lucien watched as she kept thinking, her eyes lighting up as she made a thoughtful sound, "Oh… " she smiled softy at him, "Are Dahlias still your favourite?"

"I think so." He replied and she nodded, resting her elbow on the table and then her chin in her hand.

"I think… I really like the Love-in-a-mist." Her smile brightened a little further and Lucien felt his blood heat. Just the name of the little blue flower brought the glade from the Spring Court to his mind. He could see the various colours of the flowers all around, and he thought about the first time he had kissed Elain. As his eyes moved across her face, he saw her blush just a little, and he knew that she was thinking about when they had gone back, when she had gone back on their picnic blanket and she had wrapped herself around him. The Love-in-a-mist was all of that, and it brought it all to mind.

"Oh…" he smiled, "Is it too late to change my favourite?" he asked and Elain nodded.

"Yes." She said, her voice brighter than he had heard it in several hours.

"You can't steal my favourite."

"But it comes with such delightful memories."

"Then we will just have to make more." She replied and Lucien agreed.

They finished their food quickly and he got up to clean away the dishes and set them by the door to be collected. He had just turned back around when he found Elain standing right behind him. "Petal?" he asked, unable to take her eyes off of him when she reached a hand out to him. "Are you alright?" he shivered when her hand moved down his chest. "Are you still thinking about earlier?"

"How could I not?" she asked, "It was as if I was having a vision of my own future, finding out what will happen to me…"

"No…" he told her, one of his hands running down her hair, "I said it before, and I'll say it again; that won't be you. It will not happen to you."

"Lucien…" she breathed, her chest just about against his now as she looked up at him, "I just want to forget about it… help me forget…"

She looked so desperate, her dark eyes pleading, that Lucien could do nothing by nod. Her arms tightened around his waist as he bent to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Of course, my love." He told her. "What do you want to do?"

"I…" Dark eyes flicked up to meet his for the briefest of moments, before looking away. "I want…" she bit her lip and Lucien felt a flicker of nervousness meet him down the bond. He slid both of his hands around her back, and down to her waist. His eyes remaining on her face, he just waited for her to tell him what it was that she wanted him to do. "I want you to fuck me until I can't breathe."

Lucien was pretty sure that he was the one who stopped breathing. Elain continued to look up at him, her eyes holding his gaze as her hands moved uncertainly across his back. "You… you what?" he asked, his voice shaky.

"I want to forget what I read, I don't want to think about it…" she whispered, "I want to feel safe… I want to feel you… you make me feel better…" one of her hands moved up his chest again ,"Please…" she breathed, "Make me feel better…"

"It won't take it away…" he warned her, even as his hands slid down to lift Elain to himself. "It will still be there…"

"I know." She told him, sinking her hands into his hair, "But it will be gone for now…"

"…Until you can't breathe?" asked, already giving in and she nodded. He spared only a single glance for the bed before deciding against that. If Elain wanted distraction, he was going to give her something new.

He carried her instead to the low vanity of the dresser that she used every day and he sat her atop it as he pulled her dress from her with deft hands. Elain moved as if to help him, but he beat her to it, shedding the Day Court clothing without any fuss. Lucien caught the appreciative look she gave him before his hands were on her once again and he took a firm hold of her hips, pulling her to the edge of the vanity. He heard her soft gasp as she sought to balance herself, and her legs went tightly around his waist as she leaned back against the mirror. "You want to forget about everything except me?" he asked, knowing that was exactly what she wanted. If she was after something to distract her, then he would play whatever role she needed him to play.

"Yes…"

"Alright then."