Chapter 134

Elain followed Lucien into the room they shared, and he headed straight for the window, opening it and letting a cool breeze in. When the breeze lifted the airy curtain, billowing it gently, Lucien turned back to look at his mate. Elain was standing inside the door, her dark eyes intent upon him. "Petal…?" He asked, and she took a hasty step toward him before catching herself and going still again. Lucien tilted his head. Carefully, he reached out with his mind, seeking the bond between them, wanting to know what was going on within her.

She was still watching him, her hands fisting handfuls of the lilac dress she wore, and Lucien took a small step toward her. "Petal…" he reached the bond, and a dozen emotions slammed into him. He recognised guilt and longing, and sadness and desire, but simmering on the surface were anger and jealousy and the look in those eyes told him exactly what was going on. "Elain…" he moved closer, wrapping her in his arms, and holding her to himself. Just like the night in Rhysand's kitchen, which seemed like so long ago now, just like she had done for him, Lucien knew that walking toward her while she was being driven by the same thing that so often took a hold of him would be more useful than running away from it. "It's the bond…" he breathed, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. "I know how it feels…" he felt her lean into him a little, and he turned his head to press his lips to her hair. "Don't fight it." She looked up at him then, and Lucien had only a moment to register the feral look in her eyes, before she leaped at him.

Catching her, Lucien slid his hands down to grip Elain's thighs, hoisting her higher as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her kiss was just as possessive as it had been in the hall in front of Sorcha and the others who had been watching, and he surrendered to it as he backed toward the bed, still holding her to himself.

Once on the bed, Elain had pushed him back as she moved over him, her lips moving across his cheek and down his throat as her hands roamed him less than gently. Lucien allowed his eyes to close, his hands moving slowly up and down her thighs, as she moved against him.

"What…" she growled, her lips against his ear, "did that priestess think that she was doing…?"

Lucien opened his eyes, not able to see much with her golden brown hair in his face. "I…" he shook his head, "I don't know…"

"She knows you're mine…" the final word was a snarl, and Lucien felt her hands tighten on him for a moment, and he nodded. Elain's hands then went down between them, and began deftly unlacing his pants. "She knows…" She lifted herself as she worked his pants down a little, out of her way. "She knows…"

"Yes…" his hands continued caressing her thighs, "She does." When Elain began lifting her dress, shifting it up around her hips, he slid his hands further up her thighs, "They all know…" he told her, his breath catching when her eyes met his, just as feral as before. She held his gaze as she reached down to take hold of him, adjusting herself over him, and he knew he'd been hard since she had kissed him in the hall.

Without so much as pausing, Elain lowered herself onto him, and Lucien let out a groan as he was sheathed completely inside of her. She had taken his hands from her then, lifting and pinning them by his head, gripping his wrists tightly. Lucien groaned again when she moved, and she was rougher than he had anticipated. He couldn't help the string of expletives that fell from his lips, but the words died in his throat when he lifted his eyes to Elain's face once more. The anger and jealousy were still there, simmering as possessive rage, and he could just about see fire behind the feral look in her eyes. He held her gaze, wanting to let her see that she had him, that he was hers. Small gasps began to come from Elain as she moved, and Lucien could have lifted his hands, even as she held them down, could have broken free to touch her as he liked, but he let her hold him where she wanted. Instead, he just watched her; watched as small curled tendrils of hair came free of her braids and cascaded down her neck, watched as she clenched her teeth in a snarl, her eyes closing as she growled. Surrendering to her, Lucien let his eyes move over Elain as she rode him. Hard.

Before long the sounds that were coming from his mate changed, and her movements had become more rough, almost violent. Concerned, Lucien lifted his hands, Elain releasing him and allowing him to do so, and he grabbed her hips, trying to slow her. "You'll hurt yourself." He breathed, and she opened her dark eyes to look at him, "You can have all of me, Petal. You don't have to hurt yourself to do it."

"Am I hurting you?" her voice was rough, and she paused for a moment before he shook his head.

"No…"

She leaned forward then, her hands bracing herself against his chest, as she began to move again. Lucien kept his hands on her hips, reaching for the bond again as he watched her face. Elain's gasping sounds began to sound pained rather than pleasured, and Lucien began to quickly sort through everything that he could decipher through the bond connecting them.

Gasping, Elain allowed her hair to fall into her face as she leaned forward over Lucien. Mine, Mine, Mine… Her hips continued to move in time to the chant in her head, matching itself to Lucien's heartbeat which she could hear pounding loudly as his hands gripped her hips. Letting out a cry, she let one of her hands slide up to his throat as she lifted her eyes to his. He was watching her carefully, that metallic eye clicking as he focused on her face, and an instant later she felt a tug from her ribs.

Gasping again, Elain realised that Lucien was pulling on the bond. "What are you doing?" she asked, trying to maintain her rhythm as she felt him tug again.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice thick, and Elain knew that he was asking what had pushed her to this, what was driving her.

She tried to think of a response, her hips slowing, as she allowed one of her hands to gently trace Lucien's skin, following the stretch of material across his chest. She didn't know. Everything had sort of built up, from her initial discussion with Nesta and Feyre to whatever had happened to Lucien to make him angry and hurt, and then to top it all off, she had seen that priestess in his lap. All of it, mixed together, had awoken something within her, sparked something she had had no control over.

Leaning forward further, Elain slid her hands up Lucien's chest to his face, stroking him gently as she pressed her chest to his. "I… I don't…" she shook her head as it all washed over her and she closed her eyes, pressing her face into Lucien's neck as she began to cry.

"No… Petal…" his voice was warm, soothing, as one of his large hands moved up the back of her neck and into her hair. His other hand moved gently over her back as he murmured to her. "It's okay. Whatever it is, whatever happened…" he was quiet for a moment, "You know that Sorcha is of no interest to me…"

"I know." She breathed, her breath hitching, "It's not her… It's all of it. She won't be the only one, they're all going to be like that. You're going to have to put up with so much of it … and Nesta thinks I'm going to abandon her…" a sob escaped her and Lucien's hand began making gentle circles on her back. "And I don't know what to do about any of it… I don't know…" She lifted her head to look at him again, "All that I could think was that you are mine… and… I want you."

Lucien smiled gently at her, his fingers brushing her cheek. "I know what it feels like when it grips you like that." He told her, and Elain remembered the morning she and Lucien had first left the Night Court. Feyre had come to speak to her in her room and had talked to her about this same thing. She had told Elain that there was no fighting it when it took hold, and Elain had thought about how Lucien had fought it for her that night in the kitchen. Evidently, Elain did not have that same impressive level of self-control. "I love you…" he breathed, and Elain pressed her nose to his cheek. "Are you alright?" he asked, "Did you hurt yourself?"

She could feel a dull ache between her thighs, but Elain shook her head. "I'm okay." She breathed, "I…" she let her fingers trace his jaw, "I…"

When Lucien's hands slid down her body, taking the lilac dress to her waist, before his grip on her tightened, Elain knew that he'd figured out what she wanted. He gently rolled her beneath himself, hands coming back up to caress her as his lips met hers in a soft kiss, and Elain held tightly to him when he slid carefully between her thighs once more.

Lucien moved slowly, deliberately, and Elain let him caress her with his hands and his mouth as he did so. Heat flared inside of her again as she clung to him, groaning. When she felt her heartbeat match Lucien's, Elain closed her eyes, murmuring his name softly. This was what made her feel better, this was what she wanted, and she would have to remember this for next time the bond decided to throw her at him.