Chapter 151

He couldn't see. With a groan, Lucien lifted a hand to his head, trying to make sure that his eyes were open. Realising that his hair was in his face, he pushed it back and groaned again as that movement made his head throb. Reaching for his healing magic, he set a little of it to work. His head stopped throbbing and his vision cleared a little. Only then did he try to move. He was able to sit up, and he found that he was otherwise unharmed. He was surrounded by debris, and then he remembered the balcony giving way beneath him. He'd felt it a moment before it had happened, and he had only had a moment in which to react, he'd tried to reach for Elain but the table had been between them and he hadn't had enough time to do anything else. Looking around, he couldn't see her, although he was surrounded by others. Bodies, and faeries trying to move around, crying out for one another and screaming in pain.

Lucien reached for Elain, for the bond, wanting to know where she was, and horror washed through him when there was nothing for him to take hold of. "No…" His stomach twisted and he thought he might throw up. "No…" Lucien felt as if a bucket of hot water had been dumped over his head. Heat and fear flooded him and he forced himself to his feet, swaying a little as his head tried to keep up with what he was doing. Looking around, he scanned for her honey-brown hair. For that green dress. "Elain?" he called, taking a few steps in one direction, and then turning and moving a little in the other. "Elain?"

His heart was thundering in his chest, and he knew that he was on the edge of panic. A flash of green caught his attention and he hurried toward it. It was a dress, he discovered, but the faerie wearing it was not Elain. He vaguely recognised her as one of Helion's courtiers and she stared at him, her eyes pleading for help as Lucien realised she was pinned beneath some of the debris from the balcony.

"Lucien, help me lift this?" He didn't need to turn to look to recognise Tamlin's voice, and Lucien just nodded, moving to grip the thing as best he could. He grunted with the effort it took for both of them to move the slap and then the faerie dragged herself from under it. She was crying in pain, and Tamlin bent to her while Lucien turned to scan again for Elain.

He was trying his absolute hardest not to think about what the absence of the bond meant. He had been able to feel her, feel that connection, since the moment he had first looked into her eyes. He suspected he had felt the pull before she had even gone into the cauldron, but the absence of the bond now was gutting. It didn't just go away. Not even distance had been able to diminish it. His mind kept coming so close to the logical reason for why he could not feel it now, but he wouldn't let himself actually finish the thought. That was not an option, and he wouldn't go there.

"Tam." Lucien choked his old friend's name out. When green eyes met his, Lucien half gestured at the long shelf of the cliff he had worked out they were on. "I can't find Elain."

Tamlin frowned for a moment. "She might not be here." Green eyes went to the edge of the shelf, and then up. Lucien followed his gaze to see most of the balcony well above them had fallen away from the rest of the palace. "Her side of the table was further out than ours…" Lucien closed his eyes, wishing he didn't understand that Tamlin was saying that she may have missed the shelf they'd landed on when falling. He looked again around them, trying to find anyone else who had been sitting near her. There was no sign of Feyre, Nesta or Eris. "We need to get everyone back up to the palace." Tamlin said, "Help me."

"I need to find Elain…"

"Lucien."

Lucien shook his head, taking a step back from Tamlin. He could feel himself sliding closer to the edge of panic. "I need to find Elain." He breathed, "I can't feel her… the bond is gone…" he could hear the panic in his voice now and that only made it worse. Tears welled in his good eye, "I have to…"

"Help me." Tamlin's voice was a snarl, and Lucien didn't know what to do. He needed to find Elain, that was necessity, it wasn't an option but, he knew, neither was leaving the others here, especially when he could see so many were hurt. "This shelf could go at any moment."

Lucien glanced around again. "Okay…" he murmured, "Let's free as many as we can, and we can winnow them up the cliff…" Tamlin gave a single nod and moved, while Lucien followed him. There was another large piece of the balcony with some of the table smashed over it, and it took them several minutes to lift it and shift it to the side. It wasn't until it was out of the way that Lucien realised the faerie trapped beneath was already dead. He stared at the body for several moments, before looking up to meet Tamlin's eyes. Without a word, they both moved on to the next.

It took a good while to check for anyone still trapped, and then Lucien turned to Tamlin who had lifted a faerie to her feet, and arm around her waist to keep her upright. "Not directly onto the balcony." Lucien said to him, "It might not be stable."

"There was a large sitting room inside."

"That would work." Lucien agreed an instant before Tamlin winnowed with the faerie. "Alright…" turning and moving toward the faerie in the green dress, Lucien bent to her. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to lift her, and he winnowed the both of them to the sitting room that Tamlin had mentioned.

They found that the sitting room was already being used to help the injured and, sitting the faerie in the green dress on a chair, Lucien couldn't help but scan the room for Elain. Not seeing her, he went straight back to the ledge to collect the next faerie, just as Tamlin was doing. The faster they competed this, the sooner he would be able to find his mate. Keeping himself to a busy routine would allow Lucien to keep himself from thinking too much about why he could no longer feel Elain, and he threw himself into his task.

It only took them three trips up and back, and then Lucien strode for the door to the balcony, wanting to see just what was left of the thing and what was going on outside. As he came out the door, he saw Aelius landing with a faerie in his own arms and Lucien realised that the Peregryn was collecting others from down the cliff and that there had been other places that survivors had landed. He had taken barely three steps out onto the balcony when he saw Elain sitting on the ground with Nesta and his heart nearly beat its way out of his chest. "Elain!"