Chapter 155

Movement in the darkness, and Elain opened her eyes to find that she couldn't see anything. The embers in the fireplace had burned too low, and there wasn't even enough of a glow to cast shadows. Turning her head, Elain realised that she was now on her back and, with another shuffling noise, she realised that Lucien had moved over her. She lifted one of her hands, bringing it out from under the covers, and found his shoulder in the dark as his weight settled over her.

"What are you doing? She murmured, trying to free her other hand from beneath the covers. His only response was to kiss her. She was still unable to hear his heartbeat, or feel him though the bond. Unable to see in the darkness, the only reason that she was even able to tell this was Lucien was by his scent, and the familiar way that his hands moved over her. When those hands slid down to adjust her beneath himself, Elain tightened her hand on his shoulder. "Lucien?"

She could feel him firm against her and, when his hot mouth moved to her throat, Elain closed her eyes when his hands slid down her thighs to catch behind her knees. Lucien lifted Elain's knees, pulling them high and wide, and she felt her pulse quicken as he positioned himself over her. He paused there, lips stilling on her throat, and Elain knew that he was waiting for her. Hooking one of her feet around behind Lucien's leg, she slid her left hand down his back, coming to rest at his hip, and he took it for the encouragement it was.

Elain bit her lip at the feel of Lucien's teeth, gentle against her throat, and then he had pushed the full length of himself inside of her. Her right hand gripped his shoulder tightly as she gave a small grunt, unable to move with the way he was pinning her beneath himself. She had expected him to be still for a moment, as he usually was, but his hands gripped her hips, holding her in place as he withdrew and thrust again. Elain gasped, heat flooding her. She felt him shudder slightly, heard his soft groan in her ear, before he repeated the action, settling into a quick rhythm.

Elain clung to him, one hand on his shoulder, the other at his back. She was still unable to see anything in the darkness, and without the bond letting her know what Lucien was feeling, she had no idea what this was. She was so used to being able to reach for the bond, and have some indication of what was going on inside of him, but there was nothing there now. It was as black and empty as the darkness around her, and all that she could feel was herself. There was only the weight of him over her, pressing her into the mattress, the brush of his lips at her throat, and the feel of him moving quickly, determinedly inside her.

Heat was flaring within Elain, burning wherever Lucien's skin touched hers, and she felt her breath begin to hitch. One of his hands left her hip and came up to her cheek. He brushed his fingers gently along her cheekbone before he took a handful of her hair, holding tightly. Elain stroked his back as gently as she were able, and he loosened his grip slightly. Her entire body flushed with heat, and Elain gasped again when Lucien's rhythm shifted. She heard him groan before he began panting heavily against her ear, and his strokes began to lengthen. She knew that he'd reached his peak when he gave a choked cry, shuddering over her before going still.

Lucien didn't collapse down over her, but rather pushed himself to the side, and Elain took a deep breath, trying to steady herself as she turned her head in his direction, still unable to see. She could hear him, still breathing heavily, and she reached a hand out, looking for him. The moment she touched him, Elain burst into tears.

"Petal?" the sound of Elain's tears sent fear spearing through Lucien and he pushed himself up onto his elbow, a small ball of flame igniting by the bedhead, and hovering there so that he could see. "What is it?" he asked, reaching out to her, "Did I hurt you?" She just cried, one of her hands over her face, so that he couldn't see, and Lucien slid closer. "Petal…?"

"No…" the word was so small and soft, that Lucien barely heard it, but he slid an arm around her waist, and drew her to himself.

"I didn't hurt you?" he asked, and she shook her head. "Then what did I do?" he asked, his fingers caressing her soft skin, "I'm sorry for it…"

"You didn't do anything." She murmured, and he wondered if that were true. He'd finished inside of her well before he had intended, and it hadn't escaped his notice that she had not. He had other ways of getting her there though, and he had intended to use them. "I… I just… I feel lost." She breathed, her head tucked up under his chin, "I feel lost not being able to reach for the bond and know how you feel." He shivered as one of her hands moved across his chest to his shoulder, "That was… different… without the bond, without that insight…"

Lucien froze. It hadn't occurred to him that, aside from last night and the gentle touches he had given her then, every other time they had been together Elain had had access to the bond. She had always been able to feel his desire, his need for her. How had she felt without that? "Did you not like it without the bond…?" he sounded as uncertain as he felt.

"It's not that." She replied, and he felt her tilt her head to look up at him. "It just felt like something was missing. I felt the absence of it."

"Yes." He knew that he had as well, but he hadn't given it much thought, having awoken in the dark with a driving need to reassure himself that he had found Elain again after that balcony had fallen, after he had seen faeries crushed to death beneath it.

"The silence in my head where your heartbeat usually is is deafening."

"Here…" Lucien wrapped his fingers around one of Elain's wrists and lifted her hand. Carefully, he pressed her fingers to his throat, right where he knew she would be able to feel his pulse. After a few moments, he heard her gasp. "You feel it?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yes…" she shifted then, settling herself against him, her other arm draped over his side as her fingers remained at his throat.

"Alright…" Lucien pressed his lips to Elain's forehead. "You stay there like that. Keep your fingers there…" he ran a hand down her side to her thigh, before pulling it up and over himself so that he could slide his hand between her legs. Her soft gasp set his pulse racing and he knew by the small amused sound that she made then that she had noticed. "I'm going to finish what I started earlier…"

Elain tilted her head up so that she could look at him again, and Lucien met her gaze. Her fingers stayed firmly at his throat so that she could track his pulse, and he smiled at her as he set about seeing just how many appreciative sounds he could draw from her with his fingers.