Chapter 185

"He what?" Nesta asked, turning curious blue-grey eyes on Elain who was reclining on the couch in the sun. Elain glanced at her sister before looking back to the window through which that amazing sunshine was streaming into one of Helion's private libraries.

"Prefers to be gentle." Elain repeated what she had told her sister. Nesta made a surprised sound, and Elain glanced her way once more. She hadn't ever really pictured herself having a conversation like this with Nesta. It had been all too easy to imagine having it with Feyre, because her younger sister practically never shut up about it these days, but Nesta had never really been the type. Her elder sister was always ready to discuss books she had read and fictional scenarios, but this was different. Elain was surprised.

"So… he's not rough with you…?"

"Not unless I want him to be…" Elain said, then considered the drive of the bond, "Mostly."

"Do you?" Nesta asked, eyes still wide. "Want him to be?"

Elain couldn't help a grin, enjoying the look on Nesta's face probably more than she should be. "Sometimes."

Nesta was looking at her as if not sure who she was. "Elain…"

"What?" Elain asked, trying to make her expression as innocent as she could. "… It's…" she felt her face heat then, and gave up any pretence of innocence. "It's…" she looked at her hands. "Seeing him like that… is…"

"Is that what you like?" Nesta asked, and her surprise was clear across her face.

"I do like it…"

"Oh."

"Oh?" Elain asked, raising an eyebrow at her sister.

"I'm just surprised." Nesta replied, "I would not have thought that would be your preference."

"You wouldn't…"

"No, I would have thought you would prefer it gentle." Nesta looked at her, "Sweet and loving…"

"Well, I do like that…"

Nesta gave a small laugh then, and Elain stared at her. "Which do you like more?"

"I…" Elain shook her head, "I don't know." She replied, "Do I have to prefer one over the other?" She watched Nesta who was just looking at her thoughtfully.

"Do you not have a preference?" She asked, "If you could choose…"

Elain gave a half shrug, thinking about Lucien. She really did enjoy when he was being driven to touch her, and there seemed to be fire moving within him, that need so strong down the bond that it almost feels like her own. The way he kissed her when he got like that, the way his hands were so sure and steady as they pulled her dress from her and spread her out before himself… She felt herself blush at the thought. She did enjoy when he held her down on the bed so that he could do whatever it was he liked to her… that hand at her throat. "I…" she breathed, trying to swallow. "Well…" She did also very much enjoy Lucien when he was gentle too. The loving almost reverent way that his hands glided over her skin, his kiss still hot, but yielding to her. The way that his lips would move against hers and then her throat and the way that he would whisper in her ear as he moved carefully inside of her… "Well…" she swallowed again, her blood heating in her veins. "It really depends…"

"Are you fantasising right now?" Nesta asked, her voice accusing.

"No…" Elain retorted, "I… am considering my answer…"

"Well?"

"It depends." Elain replied, clearing her throat. "It depends on Lucien, and the situation, and really what we're in the mood for." She paused then, "The bond too…" she went on. "Sometimes it really pushes… and sometimes it seems to react to us…" She thought about that. "It's always different…" she said.

"Really?" Nesta asked, running a hand over her face, her eyes still thoughtful. "And he listens to you?" She asked, "Lucien? He listens to what you want, even with the bond pushing?"

"Of course." Elain said, trying to resist a frown. "He always has, even back in the Night Court before we started this trip… He's always been able to feel it so strongly, and somehow he fought it. He's always been respectful of me and what I wanted and what I was ready for…" she looked at her hands, twisting in her lap, "I don't know how he did that, Nes." She said, "Once I could feel it like he had been able to, I… I didn't have control…"

"I suppose…" Nesta said after a moment, "He had cause to resist it. But when you accepted the bond, what cause did you have to resist?"

"You're right." Elain agreed, chewing on her lower lip, "Once I could feel it, he was mine… I didn't need to fight it." She looked at her sister.

"I am surprised that he prefers to be gentle…" Nesta said then, a wry grin tugging at the very corners of her lips. "Feyre told me that Autumn Court males are meant to fuck like they have fire in their blood."

"Oh, he does." Elain said, her tone devoid of any emotion, but she was unable to help a snicker when Nesta's mouth dropped open. "Even when gentle." She added, and she was more than a little pleased to see her sister blush slightly.

"So… he… he's… good… at it?" Nesta asked, and Elain stared at her sister, not sure why Nesta was so interested in this. "Well, I mean, imagine if you were mated to someone who wasn't…"

"Would that matter?" Elain asked, "I doubt that could be the case anyway with the bond…"

"So he is then?"

"Yes." Elain told her, tone matter of fact. "He's very good at it." She watched Nesta take that in, and her sister nodded more to herself than Elain. Elain watched noting that Nesta looked as if she were about to say something else, and she could practically see the thoughts flicking through her sister's mind. Wondering then, just what it was that had sparked this interest and this directness from Nesta, Elain grinned and sat up on the couch, the sun still shining brightly down on her, heating her skin just a little. "What's brought this on, Nes?" she asked, trying very hard indeed to keep herself from grinning. "Does it have anything to do with Cassian?"

"What? No? Of course it doesn't." Nesta rolled her eyes, but Elain knew her better than that.

"It does, doesn't it?" she pressed, "Oh, Nes. Tell me."

"No… I mean… it doesn't really." Nesta said, her eyes on the window and definitely not on Elain. "It's not as if I feel any driving force trying to throw me at him. I don't feel the desire to rip his clothes off every time he walks into the room."

"I'm sure he thinks that's a shame." Elain said, and Nesta raised an eyebrow before nodding her agreement.

"I… I was just thinking… if… if… something were to happen…" Nesta's long fingers pushed into her usually immaculate hair, messing it up slightly, "How… how do you think he would be?"

Elain hadn't expected that question, and she made sure to keep her expression neutral as she thought about it. "I imagine that he would be however you wanted him to be." She told Nesta after a moment, "It is all too easy to imagine that he has a … passionate… touch." She watched Nesta's face carefully as she spoke now, "But I would think that, like Lucien, he would also rather enjoy being more… tender."

Nesta was silent as she took in Elain's words, and Elain just watched her sister. Nesta's blue-grey eyes turned on the window and her sister just nodded, still silent as she evidently thought about that. "Yes…" Nesta murmured, "I think you're right."