You Left Us
Okay everyone. *IMPORTANT*- I'm skipping a scene, for the very valid reason that I'm impatient to get to the next segment lol. Ya'll can scold me for being a bit lazy, but I simply just don't have the drive to write this particular scene and, unfortunately, if I don't have the desire, the writing won't be very good to say the least. Hope you all understand.
***The scene I skipped from the show was Sam leaving in the middle of the night to go to California to look for John and pursue leads on the demon that killed Mary and Jessica. On their way to Indiana Sam and Dean have a heated argument over it and Sam gets out of the car and starts walking in the opposite direction and Dean lets him go. Although, I did not write it, it, nevertheless, happened.
Dean and Ellie go on to Indiana to take care of the Rawhead Hunt that John sent them on in the last chapter. (I'm not writing the 'Scarecrow' episode, I'm moving straight onto the 'Faith' episode).
Although I'm somewhat following the plot of the series, I'm tweaking and changing a few things to fit the context of my story. The scene I wrote is at the beginning of the episode 'Faith' without Sam. Hopefully that's not too confusing, but if you have any questions feel free to PM me.
Welcome new readers!
Please forgive the errors you may come across, I wrote this one fast to get it posted sooner.
Please, if you have a moment, write a review. I'd appreciate insight, comments, critiques…etc. It really pushes me to write more. Thank you! I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Ellie's bounced her leg up and down vigorously expelling some jittery anxiety that was ramping through her body like jolts of electricity as she restlessly waited in the back seat of the Impala for Dean to return. Ellie's clammy palms gripped at the edge of the black leather bench seat on either side of her slim frame keeping her alert brown eyes glued to the side door of the old dilapidated house where Dean had entered to take care of the Rawhead that resided in the basement.
Despite Ellie's insistence on giving him backup, Dean was adamant that she remain in the Impala and wait for him. Not just because Rawheads preyed specifically on children, and Dean, much to Ellie's chagrin, dubbed a thirteen-year-old girl falling under that category, but after the events of the last Hunt at the Roosevelt Asylum, it left Dean in no hurry to put the little girl in harm's way.
Ellie gritted her teeth with tense impatience, never excelling in sitting still on just about anything she did, but especially when it came to hunting. She hated the intense fearful agitation of waiting idly with her thumb up her ass, not knowing if those she cared about were alright. It was hard enough continually fearing for her uncle's safety, but the additional stress of fearing for Sam and Dean on hunts was excessively burdening on the adolescent girl's body and mind.
Ellie couldn't help, but feel the biting bitterness of Sam leaving burn and spread within her gut that only seemed to intensify greatly by her edgy nerves. The hurt of Sam leaving them so abruptly to pursue the demon cut little Ellie straight to her core, not only because she was coming to care about the man deeply and did not want him to leave their side, but because it was just another stress Ellie's burdened heart had to bear. Not knowing if he was safe was extremely troubling to the distressed teenager. But it would seem most of all, him choosing revenge only confirmed her foreseen fears that, when the time came, they would pursue their own personal interests and leave her. It only proved that Ellie's distressing thoughts were right; if given the opportunity, and if the want was dire enough, she would be left to fend for herself. Despite being lucky enough to still have Dean, temporarily, by her side, it didn't make Sam's departure any less painful. There was a disheartening hole left by his absence and it seemed crushingly wrong to the teenager somehow for the man not to be with them.
Although, Ellie ultimately anticipated the departure and tried to keep a level of rational understanding of that being just the way of Hunters, she did not expect just how painful and shattering it would be to her young heart. Ellie saw his leaving as nothing short of abandonment feeling the familiar sharp sting of rejection and disregard, just as it was with her uncle. Despite understanding his need for answers and retribution, and thinking with kind sympathy that his love for Jessica must have ran deep, it didn't change the fact that, he, in the end, chose revenge over her and Dean. As sad as it was, Jessica was dead, but she and Dean were still alive and they needed him. And little Ellie just couldn't seem to wrap her head around the pain it brought her. A bitter sense of betrayal and hurt sunk down into Ellie's skin about the whole ordeal, causing Ellie to build up stronger walls against the Hunters, so, when it happened again, perhaps with Dean, the painful blow wouldn't be so shockingly agonizing. Despite wishing to bury her feelings and remain protectively indifferent, the fact remained, no matter how much she tired, she simply couldn't. She cared about these men, a hell of a lot more than she ever anticipated.
Unable to sit still any longer in her stress ridden torment, Ellie snatched a hold of the thin silver door handle and gave it a swift tug as she pushed open the back door of the Impala and planting her thick Carhart boots onto cold muddy ground, swinging the door shut behind her. The young edgy teenager began to pace the length of the Impala in restless agitation fighting the urge to just go inside and give the stubborn man the proper backup that he needed whether he liked it or not. Rawheads were strong and crafty monsters and Ellie knew going after it alone was risky and it bothered Ellie a great deal that he would not allow her to aid him in any way on this Hunt. In Ellie's thinking, he could alleviate the risk significantly if he would just use her. She wasn't just some helpless civilian kid who couldn't handle themselves. She could be of use if he would just let her. Ellie found herself gritting her teeth again feeling a biting annoyance rile her agitated nerves thinking if only Sam was here and hadn't 'selfishly' taken off then Dean would be having someone watching his back right now.
Just then, the pounding of scurrying little footsteps against the old creaking wood cut through Ellie's sharp ears making her swiftly jerk her body around towards the side door of the rundown house just in time to see two small kids rush hastily out onto the tattered rickety deck. Ellie's breath clogged in her throat feeling a rushing shot of protective adrenaline jolt through her veins as the two young kids darted towards her with hasty purpose. Ellie took two rushing steps towards them closing the gap between them urgently. The teenager instinctually crouched herself down so she was at their level.
The brother and sister could be no more than six or seven years old, still in their private school uniforms that had been scuffed and smudged with dirt and debris from old dank basement of the abandoned house they had been hiding in. Tears were running down their dirty rounded cheeks that were paled in utter terror making Ellie lungs constrict tightening her chest with dreadful concern completely taken off guard that the Rawhead had actually kids in its possession. Ellie didn't even want to think about what would have happened to the innocent little lives before her if they hadn't gotten there in time.
"Are you okay?" Ellie urged hastily, automatically, reaching up and gripping her palms around their slim biceps; her wide brown eyes darting urgently with concern as she took in their ragged appearance searching for any immediate signs of injury.
They both nodded vigorously petrified fear gipping onto their tense muscles as their little bodies trembled, horror struck by what their young eyes had witnessed.
"It's okay, you're gonna be fine." Ellie assured breathlessly, attempting to keep a reassuring calmness and confidence in her voice despite the horrendous panic that was raising within her.
Ellie stood up from her crouched position urgently and moved her palms onto their small shoulders as she drew them close to her body in an instinctually protective manner guiding them towards the back door of the Impala, thinking of nothing else, but getting the two young kids secure. The two young siblings pressed their small trembling frames against Ellie sides eagerly in a trusting and desperate manner gripping fist full of her slate brown jacket as they scuffled along with her whimpering in distress. Ellie yanked open the back door of the Impala and quickly ushered the terrified kids inside. Once their small trembling frames settled on the center of the stiff back leather bench seat, Ellie leaned her body through the opened door, gripping onto the sides of the door frame tightly.
"Is Dean still inside with it?" Ellie pressed with earnest, her steady voice taking on an edge of raising panic as her rounded brown eyes implored them with urgency and need. "The man that got you out. Is he still inside?" Ellie urged again a touch more forcefully wanting the dire information immediately.
The terrified siblings, still sniffling and whimpering, nodded, twitchingly, in unison.
"He-He said he was-was gonna shoot it and m-make it go away." The little girl sputtered out in a trembling voice, her bottom lip quivering as a few more tears trickled down her dirty pale cheeks.
"Okay." Ellie breathed calmly forcing her voice to take on a steady and confident tone in hopes of decreasing the terrified siblings' panic. "I need you both to stay in the Impala. You're safe now. It's not going to get you out here." Ellie reassured far more confidently than she felt as her heart hammered in her chest wildly. She hoped Dean had killed the Rawhead by now, but seeing as he did not accompany the kids when they came out told Ellie that either Dean still needed to finish the job or something went horrible wrong. Although she wanted to think otherwise, there was this strong impending feeling of unease that whirled in her gut urging her think the worst.
"I'm going to back him up. I'll be right back. Do not leave the car." Ellie stressed her voice taking on a weighty emphasis before swiftly shutting the back door in haste securing the two little kids inside before they had a chance to protest. Ellie felt a ping of guilt hit her chest making her muscles feel heavy with innate hesitation as she got a fleeting glimpse of their pale little features that had washed over with added trepidation in response to her leaving them. Their wide eyes sparked in panic, as they huddle closer together gripping their locked fist tighter desperate for comfort. Ellie did not want to leave the terrified kids alone, but the truth of the matter was the young teenager simply had no choice. Dean was still in there and for whatever reason, had not come out yet and that sent a sparking panic within Ellie to take immediate action. Through troubling experiences and heightened senses, Ellie learned waiting with your thumb up your ass in the hopes of a good outcome, was the wrong choice. Everything within her instincts was telling her to move her ass and do something. She could no longer wait around and find out if Dean needed backup or not. She was going to help, whether the man liked it or not. And if she got punished for it after, so be it. She feared for his life, far more than she feared getting her ass spanked.
With hasty purpose, Ellie swiftly rounded the back of the Impala. Feeling her body shake with jittery adrenaline, she lifted the shiny black trunk and pulled up the hatch propping it up with the pump action Winchester sawed off, that she had seen Dean do many times before. Ellie, being the informed little Hunter that she was, was fully aware Rawheads could only be killed through electrocution. Being well versed in weapons, thanks to her uncle's supernatural arms dealing and munitions services, Ellie's knowledgably eyes scanned the familiar contents quickly spotted the spare black taser next to the flashlights and flare guns in the far back right section of the truck. Without hesitation, Ellie immediately snatched the appropriate weapon and swiftly removed the propped up sawed off before intuitively closing the hatch and the trunk after, instilled instincts forcing her to take the proper steps in concealing the secret world.
With herself properly armed, Ellie wasted no time in racing swiftly towards the old ramshackle house. The crooked wooden slats that made up the outer walls of the abandoned shack sat jagged and uneven from decades of neglect as the unstable foundation was sinking into saturated ground making the house sit at a tilt, appearing to be on the brink of collapse if a strong enough wind blew over it. Ellie dashed her sturdy Carhart boots hastily across the rickety old boards of the porch before coming to a swift halt pressing her back against the rough wooden slats of the siding just outside the open side door where the siblings had run out. With her taser gun pointed downwards in the proper safety position, Ellie took a breath of courage before turning and entering the small disheveled kitchen. Ellie's clammy palms gripped and adjusted around the handle of the black taser as she swiftly pointed it to her right and then to her left covering her flanks of the small galley kitchen that was littered with debris, trash, and an excessive amount of grime and dust that was caked onto every inch of the narrow room.
To the right of the door is what drew Ellie's swift attention as there was a set of descending wooden stairs leading down to the dark old basement. Ellie was aware Rawheads inhabited basements and if there was one in the house that is where it would, undoubtably, be lurking. It's where Dean would be. Ellie visibly gulped down a wad of saliva down her dry throat, feeling fear gripped onto her limbs with intense potency as her heart pumped her blood vigorously through her veins, bulging her muscles tensely under her skin, and heightening her senses as her body prepared itself with the familiar task of fighting to stay alive. Ellie gripped and adjusted her shaking palms around the taser handle once again as she pointed it down the descending old stairs, feeling a fierce hesitancy pull against her bravery as her memory vividly recollected the last time she entered an old dark basement at the Roosevelt Asylum. The recalled trauma had the poor young girl visibly trembling, noticing, with added distress, that the taser gun pointed out in front of her was wobbling unsteadily.
Gathering up every ounce of gallantry she had in her, Ellie licked her chapped lips and took a deep steading breath through her nose expanding her lungs with a desperate courage compelling her jittery nerves to calm down enough to stop shaking and get a grip on herself. Despite the potency of Ellie's trepidation, it, ultimately, did not overshadow her fear for Dean's safety. Whether it was misplaced boldness or adolescent stupidity, the scared young teenager found herself forcing her reluctant limbs down the old wooden steps, forcibly and actively pushing the ever-horrifying possibility of getting hurt or dying out of her mind enough to do what she needed to do. Dean was in danger and that was enough for the brave girl to risk her young life. She had lost too much already to have the luxury to cower back and wallow in fears. She had the capabilities and the training to do something and she'd be damned if she was going to sit on her ass and wait for good fortune like the 'good' kid. If it meant saving Dean, she'd gladly be dubbed as the 'bad, stupid, reckless, disobedient kid', or whatever they wanted to see her as after this, she'd take it.
The potent musty smell of the heavily saturated basement filled Ellie's nostrils as her sturdy brown boots thudded against the creaky old steps that seemed to echo loudly against the troubling silence of the old dank basement.
Once Ellie made it to the landing platform, with stiff straightened arms the young girl turned to point the taser gun down the second set of stairs and it was there Ellie's sharp eyes honed in on the soles of a pair of familiar brown laced up boots. Ellie's heart shot into her throat feeling a potent rush of troubling panic surge through every inch of her young body like electric currents, springing her into action. The sight of the man's brown boots was all it took for the young teenager to race down the second set of steps without hesitation, her thick boots pounding into the old creaky wood with frantic urgently. It wasn't until Ellie was half way down the second set of steps did she feel a powerful blow of shocked horror knock into her chest making her halt her hurried feet for a brief moment as her eyes took in the terrifying sight of Dean's motionless frame laying in a puddle of water across from the steps. The man's head and broad shoulders were slightly propped up against the corner of the blocked cement wall with his eyes shut looking alarmingly unresponsive.
"Dean!" Ellie shouted, her voice carrying through the small basement in panicked distress. Setting her feet into motion once again, Ellie descended the last few steps in worried haste. With her blood pounding loudly in her ears and her chest heaving up and down in heavy audible breaths, Ellie, mindlessly, jerked her body around pointing the taser gun in all directions of the dark dank basement feeling her alerted wits dwindle as the desperate urgency to get to Dean was pulled to the forefront of her focus feeling her frantic care for the man overwhelmed her mind. She needed to get to him as soon as possible, but she couldn't do that if the monster was still lurking in the shadows.
The small pale rays of moonlight that shinned through the dirty pans of the hooper windows of the old basement, had Ellie's eyes straining to see into the dark shadowed corners of the square cellar. However, it wasn't long until Ellie's franticly darting brown eyes spotted the deceased fried corpse of the Rawhead's wrinkled deformed body to the left of the stairs. Dean had killed it. That was all the proof Ellie needed before she, immediately, jerked her small frame around, discarding the taser gun carelessly on the saturated cement floor, as she rushed over towards Dean's still limp frame, the long brown pony tail that was threaded through the adjustable strap of her navy ballcap swooshed and swayed behind her.
With her lungs constricted in agonized panic, Ellie hastily crouched down next to him, crashing her denim covered knees into the puddle of icy-cold water that surround the motionless man. Ellie reached over him and grabbed fists full of his open trucker jacket, squeezing and twisting the sturdy fabric within her constricting grip as she jerked and shook him in a desperate attempt to jostle the man out of his unconscious state, but it proved to be devastatingly useless as Dean's head simply bobbed limply and his eyes remained closed and unresponsive to her frantic efforts.
"Dean! Wake up!" Ellie demanded in pure desperation feeling a dreadful helplessness consume her as fear jostled to every nerve in her body becoming overwrought with severe alarm.
Ellie's eyes began to flood with unstoppable tears feeling her throat constrict painfully as the young girl was faced with the horrifying reality that the Hunter could possibly be dead. An agonizing fear begin to grip heavily onto every fiber of her being as her heart became weighted down in her chest with excruciating torment and apprehension.
With a sob clogging her burning throat, Ellie recalled what her uncle had taught her and immediately placed her two shaky fingers against the carotid artery on the side of Dean's neck checking for a sign of life within the motionless man. After a few agonizingly slow seconds tick by, a faint pulse of blood pressed lightly against Ellie's finger tips making her gasp in hope as an elation lifted her heart slightly against her weighted chest. The pulse was weak, but it was there which meant the man was alive. However, Ellie knew just because she felt a pulse, it did not mean Dean wasn't in serious danger of losing his life. Thirteen-year-old Ellie was no trained medical expert by any stretch of the imagination, but every instinct within her was screaming with dire urgency.
"Oh, God." Ellie breathed in burning distress feeling herself becoming overwhelmed in a consuming panic as she was petrified for the man's life.
Her heart began to ache with an intensely raw helplessness as she senselessly looked around dark desolate basement, a childlike desperation for support and guidance, for someone, anyone, to help her in her dire need, but Ellie was met with nothing, but the devastating reality of having no one to turn to. She was all alone.
In frantic desperation and the pressing need to get Dean to a hospital, Ellie lifted the man's muscular arm as she crouched her slender frame low placing her neck and shoulder under the man's armpit. Gripping onto the man's wrist just above his black Smith and Wesson watch, with difficulty, Ellie pulled the man's torso forward lifting him up into a somewhat slumped seated position. With her muscles straining with tension, Ellie attempted to wrap her slim arm around his back that she found couldn't even reach the other side of his broad frame.
Ellie strained her muscles to their limit feeling them bulge harshly under her skin as she lifted her knees out of the icy murky puddle and onto the sturdy soles of her brown boots in a deep strenuous squat. With her legs shaking underneath her from the brawny weight of the grown man's body, Ellie attempted to straighten her spine and lift the man up off the wet ground enough to attempt to drag him up the stairs.
Ellie grunted out straining and labored breaths between her gritted teeth as she used every ounce of her strength, only to find out the disheartening reality that her small petite build could not lift all of the grown man's 200 pound muscular build of dead weight. With the strain becoming too intense for girl's small body, Ellie felt her muscles give out and her shaking legs collapse underneath her. Her knees crashed against the muddy puddle onto cement floor feeling a tremor of pain shoot through her knee caps bruising the skin instantly. A pain-filled and despairing sob echoed within the close walls of dank basement as Ellie hung her head low in grave despondency at her failure.
She was just a thirteen-year-old little girl, and although, fierce adrenaline was pumping through her veins, that didn't change the fact that she was unable to physically carry the muscular grown man up the stairs.
Stinging tears spilled from her brown eyes as woeful sobs knocked against her chest breathlessly, feeling the burning pain of helplessness encompass her. She couldn't save anyone, not her uncle, not Sam, not Dean. She was going to lose everything.
With her body trembling with dreadful fear, Ellie pulled Dean's weighted arm off her neck and shoulders guiding his torso back down resting his head and shoulders back against the cement wall. Ellie forced her heavy limbs into a standing position feeling her legs wobble unsteadily underneath her from the fear-filled adrenaline that was weaving through her veins. Knowing she had to call for help, Ellie reached into her slate brown jacket pocket and pulled out her blue Nokia cellphone, her shaking thumb pressing hastily against the protruding buttons as she dialed 9-1-1. Remembering the address by heart, Ellie recited it to the operator and expressed the need for an ambulance immediately. Despite the operator's insistence to stay on the phone with her, Ellie pulled the phone form her ear and swiftly pressed the end call button.
Incessant instilled caution caused Ellie to consider the deformed corpse of the Rawhead that lay to the left of the stairs. Despite her body pulling with severe reluctancy to leave Dean's side even for a moment, Ellie knew she had to hide the corpse somehow before the paramedics arrived. Normally they would dispose of the monster's body properly through burial or burning, leaving no evidence behind for ignorant civilians to question and possibly trace evidence back to them. However, Ellie did not have the luxury, means, nor the time to follow the Hunters code of proper procedures. Although, the monster's body was veiled in shadow, that did not mean paramedics would not spot the outline of the corpse.
With a hesitant whine scrapping across her raw throat, Ellie jerked her head away from Dean with painful reluctance as she swiftly forced her heavy limbs towards the Rawhead's body feeling instant remorse spread and bleed within her chest for leaving Dean's side. With blurry tears veiling her brown eyes and woeful sobs escaping her trembling lips, Ellie swiftly proceeded with the necessary task of covering the evidence of the supernatural world. Ellie's tear-filled eyes darted around the dark basement, spotting an old dressing screen that leaned against the side of the wooden stairs. Thinking that should be efficient enough to conceal the large frame of the deformed monster, Ellie grabbed the sides of the dusty wooden frame and, with trembling arms tensed with adrenaline, she quickly fanned out the old maroon felted screen that was coated in thick layers of dust, cobwebs, and debris. Her limbs shaking with urgency and a dire need to get back to Dean, Ellie carelessly pushed over the large fanned-out dressing screen over the dead monster's body before proceeding to drag an old nearby dresser in front of it for additional concealment. Although crude and careless, that was all little Ellie's endurance could handle before rushing back over to Dean.
Ellie splashed her bruised knees back into the icy puddle and with shaky hands grabbed a hold of Dean limp heavy arm, interwinding her slim fingers within his as she gripped and held onto his calloused palm tightly with tender affection. Thinking of nothing else, but her care for the man, Ellie pulled his heavy arm up towards her and planted a quick kiss on the back of his hand feeling her body rock back and forth in restless and fearful trepidation.
"You're gonna be okay, Dean. Y-You're gonna be fine." Ellie's shaky vocals choaked out as she desperately attempted to reassure him and herself that there was hope and everything would be fine. Despite knowing Dean was unable to comprehend her, it mattered little to the teenager and she continued to repeat her words comfortingly to him.
Two warm tears spilled from her worried-filled eyes and trickled down the sides of her rosy cheeks, attentively looking at the wooden stairs of the old basement as she proceeded to wait in agonizing apprehension for help to arrive.
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Sam, who had stollen a car, much to his chagrin, was driving down I-71 heading back to Indiana where he, in the heat of the moment, had parted ways with Ellie and Dean to pursue his dad. Despite the bitterness Sam still felt from Dean's hurtful words, refusal to stand by him and, for once, dare to challenge their dad's authority, which held little ground now that they were grown men in Sam's way of thinking, the simple love he had for his brother, ultimately, overruled his need for answers and retribution.
It seemed only after a day of contemplation and reflection the man came to the realization that Dean was all he really had left. His father was God knows where in California and his mom and Jessica were gone and, no matter how painful it was, they were not coming back. It was just him and his brother against this horrifying world they lived in and the man found he, simply, couldn't pursue the demon without his brother by his side. Not to mention, the sense of personal responsibility he felt towards little Ellie and the need to be there for her and protect her, was a strong driving factor for his return. The truth of the matter was, it was never his intention to leave Ellie in the first place. He wanted them both by his side last night. However, Dean's refusal to support him in his decision and with tempers flaring, hurtful words were exchanged and, before Sam knew it, pride took over. And when Dean heatedly declared that he would 'take off and leave his ass', Sam's stubbornly and falsely expressed that's what he wanted him to do which seemed to seal the deal and Dean left taking Ellie with him.
Although, he still wanted to pursue answers and his need for revenge had not dissipated, he found that it would mean nothing without his brother. Right now, he belonged at his brother's side with little Ellie and if they were going to see it through at all, they were going to do it together.
Sam's Treo phone echoed sharply against the silence of Toyota Camry snapping the Hunter out of his deep thoughts. With one hand placed on top of the worn and faded blue-grey wheel, Sam reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cellphone. A slight ping of hopeful anticipation, if not a little apprehension, tapped against his chest as he wondered if it was his brother calling him as he was somewhat eager to start relaying amends and inform him that he was on his way back.
The man quickly glanced at the caller ID, the artificial light on the wide screen of his Treo phone shined brightly against the dark confines of the car. Sam's dark brows furrowed slightly in a thoughtful and curious manner, a little taken back that it was Ellie who was calling him. Sam immediately moved his thumb to the side and pressed the answer key before placing the phone to his ear.
"Ellie?" Sam greeted curiously feeling a slight intuitive wariness come over out of pure gut instinct as he found it odd for her to be calling him before Dean, unless she was doing it without his knowledge or approval which he didn't suspect would bode well with his brother. However, that feeling all, but turned into one of grave dismay as soon as little Ellie's hitched voice hit his ears.
"Sam." Ellie's voice cracked in distress. "You need to come. P-please, D-Dean got hurt. He's in the hospital. He-He got the Rawhead, but he got electrocuted too somehow and-and...please, just come." Ellie all, but begged hopelessly, her tremblingly voice cutting through the receiver despairingly, a desperate need within her young voice that seemed to cling and grab onto Sam's heartstrings.
Sam's heart plummeted into his gut as blood began to drain from his face in absolutely dread as he took in the little girl distressing words.
"I'm on my way. What hospital?" Sam pressed urgently attempting to keep the ungodly fear that was terrorizing his heart out of his voice as he contemplated all the unthinkable and horrendous outcomes that his mind was concocting concerning his brother condition.
A knot seemed to clog in Ellie's throat as despair began to take hold of the terrified teenager finding herself unable to speak for a few moments. Ellie's face scrunched up into pain-ridden grimace as she squeezed her stinging eyes shut feeling two tears trickled down the sides of her flushed cheeks.
"Elena. What hospital?" Sam punctuated in a grave and earnest tone compelling the young teen to give him the information he desperately needed.
Swallowing hard against her raw throat painfully, Ellie gained her composure back. "Glendale Riverside Memorial in Benton." Ellie recited clearly in a despondent tone that was drained in wariness and heartbreak.
For a brief moment, Sam removed his hand from the tattered steering wheeling reaching his long arm up and flicking the beefy switch of the dome light overhead before returning his hand to the wheel. Sam turned his head to look at the map he had spread out on the blue passenger seat. With only a fleeting glance, the man estimate he was about two hours from Benton.
"I'll be there in an hour." Sam declared decidedly with a determined and anxious edge to his tone before pulling the phone from his ear and pressing his thumb against the end call button. Fueling all his concentration on getting to that hospital as quickly as possible, Sam pressed his heavy brown boot down on the gas pedaled, recklessly accelerating the silver 1992 Toyota Camry down the highway three times faster than lawful speed limit.
He never should have left.
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With his heart in his throat, Sam rushed down the white halls of the Glendale Riverside Memorial Hospital, his brown boots squeaking against the shiny vinyl floor, until he reached the intensive care unit. As Sam rounded the corner, he turned his head to look down the wide hall, his frantic eyes immediately spotting Ellie's small familiar frame that was seated in a tan hospital chair in a small cut-out alcove of the white corridor.
With her shoulders hunched in a dejected posture and her bottom seated on the edge of the thinly patted tan cushion, she gripped on the edge of slender seat on either side of her slim body. She hung her head low as she tilted her head to the side glancing down the opposite side of the hallway where they had taken Dean, the shadow of her navy ballcap veiling her dirty smudged face and the lines of forlorn expression that was contorted in fearful apprehension. Her straight dark brown pony tail that was threaded through the adjustable strap of her navy ballcap hung loose and ragged against her right shoulder, except for a few tiny bits of wispy dark brown strains, dampened by sweat, that hung askew at her temples.
Ellie bounced her muddy brown boot up and down in jittery unrest feeling the heavy saturated denim fabric of her blue jeans weigh against her tense leg muscles. The murky puddle she had been kneeling in on the dank and dirt ridden basement floor left a visibly lasting impression. From the frayed cuffs of her Levi jeans all the way past the tops of her knees, scuffs of grime and muck were smeared and crusted into the wet tense fibers of the soiled denim fabric.
With her tomboy clothes and somewhat dirty and unkept appearance looked wildly out of place within the white clean halls of hospital, sticking out like a sore thumb, but to Sam she just looked like Ellie.
Sam, immediately, set his feet into motion towards the young girl feeling the heavy weight of guilt press further into his chest making his lungs constrict painfully knowing she had gone through all of this on her own. She was just a little girl and should have never had to bear the burden of the traumatic experience. He should have been there and the remorse he felt for that was excruciatingly tormenting to his kind heart as he cared deeply for the young teenager he was supposed to protect. Although he could have never predicted only less than 24 hours after his departure that something this terrible would have happened to his skilled and capable older brother, no matter how ill-fated it seemed, the fact remained that it did happen. Dean got hurt and Ellie was all alone and Sam would have to bear the consequences of his impulsive decision.
Sensing movement towards her, Ellie turned her head to see Sam's tall muscular build advancing towards her in haste. Ellie inhaled a sharp gasp feeling her nerves grow jittery with exhilaration, the very sight of Sam had Ellie's heart lift with unexpected relief and elation. The power his mere presence brought to young Ellie was shockingly intense and the girl couldn't help, but feel new tears began to form once again under her red rimmed eyes. Desperate for his comfort, without hesitation, Ellie shot out of her seat and rushed her muddied brown boots across the shiny waxed floor to meet him feeling her fraying ponytail sway and swoosh behind her. Knocking her body against his large solid frame, Ellie wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against the man's broad chest. The burdening weight that she was carrying seemed lift off her caving chest, almost instantly, as the man wrapped his long-toned arms around her shoulders drawing her into a tender and protective embrace feeling a much-desired warmth encompass around her. It was not just the feeling of missing him in his absence and wanting his support, reliance, and protection in her time of need, but Ellie found this emptiness within herself become restored. She needed him. It just wasn't right without him.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked automatically wanting reassurance that she was unharmed, his soothing voice edged with tender concern.
Ellie nodded vigorously against his solid chest feeling her cheek chafe against one of the buttons of the dark brown plaid shirt he wore under his opened dark tan jacket. She was alive, but other than that, there was nothing about her that was 'okay' at the moment.
It was just then the cardiac doctor in the intensive care unit walked up behind Ellie making Sam release his tight hold on the young teenager giving the approaching man his attention. Ellie turned around hastily, feeling her heart lurch into her throat, her eyes wide with worried interest in what the man had to say to them about Dean's condition. Sam automatically placed his two weighted palms on Ellie's slim shoulders in a comforting and protective manner as he shifted on his feet in restless agitation.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Hammond. You Dean Berkovitz's brother?" The doctor asked, his throaty mature vocals rumbling out calm and kind in his deliverance as he addressed Sam directly.
"Yes, doctor. How is he?" Sam asked calmly straightening his posture trying to keep his shaky nerves in check for both Ellie's sake and his own.
"He's resting. The electrocution triggered a heartache. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart is damaged." The doctor explained professionally with regret and sympathy lining his calm tone.
Sam felt a constricting pain begin to enclose around his heart feeling it become crushed under the weight of the doctor's horrifying words.
"Damaged? How damaged?" Sam inquired calmly feeling his chest begin to cave in fearful anticipation as he held onto a glimmer of hope that something could be done.
"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point, but I'd give him a couple weeks, maybe a month." Dr. Hammond explained evenly, the ridges in his downhearted expression weighted with sympathy taking no pleasure in delivering the bad news. Despite the experienced doctor's years of practice, it didn't make this part of the man's job any easier.
Ellie felt like the floor had been pulled out from under her as her shock-stricken body attempted to absorb the crushing words of the doctor. Ellie couldn't believe it; she wouldn't believe it. Doctors are supposed to save people. Why couldn't they save Dean?
"No, no, no. There's gotta be something you can do. Some kind of treatment?" Sam desperately insisted as uncontrollable tears welled up in his green eyes feeling a grave despair take hold of his heart.
"We can't work miracles. I really am sorry." The doctor sympathized sincerely.
Feeling a rawness scrap the lining of his throat, Sam dipped his head casting his eyes downwards nodding once in acknowledgement as he attempted to collected himself feeling a crushing pain of agonizing regret crash over him.
"What room is he in?" Sam asked, his calm voice chocking slightly in his throat.
"Room 307, you can see him now." Dr. Hammond said in a gentle rapport rotating his body to the side allowing Sam and Ellie to pass him.
Ellie felt her body become immensely heavy, like an encumbering weight was pressing down on every inch of her tired muscles making it suddenly difficult to walk. A horrible despairing feeling of helpless consume her as they walked into Room 307. Dean was in the far-left corner, a hanging curtain divider separating him from the other empty beds within the room. Ellie felt the muscles around her heart constrict slightly at the sight of the man she knew lying in the elevated hospital bed with a pillow propped up behind his head and wires hooked up to a machine that was monitoring his heart. The very thought of not seeing him again, in a couple of weeks or month at best, was unthinkably despairing to young Ellie. She was not ready to let him go nor was she willing to accept the horrifying reality. In her short amount of time with Dean, Ellie had come to deeply care for the Hunter and her fondness for him was becoming intense with a strong attachment, admiration, and regard. The young girl didn't realize just how much until the horrendous reality of losing him came to light and, now, she was sure her heart couldn't take it. She had lost her parents, she was in danger of losing her uncle with every passing day, and, now, she was faced with losing Dean too. Why was this happening?
A grave and heartbreaking unfairness began to set into young Ellie's mind. Dean saves everyone, but when the time came when he needed saving, no one could? A gut-wrenching guilt and shame overwhelmed Ellie as she was the one that was there, the only one that Dean could count on at the time, and she failed him. It weighed of little consequence to the young teen that Dean had ordered to stay outside. The fact remains that she knew he needed the backup. She knew it and she did nothing. All because of what? Trying to be a good kid? Scared of a spanking? It all seemed so stupid, selfish, and cowardly now. Despite her eventually going in after him, by the time she got her head out of her ass, it was too late and, her inability to take action, cost the man his life. The man that cared for her and protected her, and she couldn't even give that to him in return. She felt worthless, to the highest degree she had ever felt before and the grievous pain of it all was far more than her young little heart could bear.
Ellie peered up at Dean under her ballcap and noted that he did not look like his strong solid-self Ellie was coming accustom to seeing which made her heart sink heavier with despondency. The Hunter looked sickly pale against the dull blue hospital gown he wore with prominent dark circles under his drooping weary eyes looking drained of both his strength and energy. A small dark bruise encircled at the outer corner of his left eye from the top of his eyebrow to the underside of his lower lid, which seemed blend into the dark circle under his eye making it appear more prominent. This was the first time Ellie saw him in such a vulnerable state and it cut her straight to her core bruising her heart.
Despite them standing at the foot of his bed, Dean did not look up at them right away as he held the thick remote in his hand flipping through channels of the small box tv set that sat on an overbed tray angled slightly to left of him.
To say Dean wasn't exactly gung-ho to talk about the inevitable fact that he was about to kick the bucket within a couple of weeks was an understatement. The man couldn't help, but wish he had something to leave behind worthwhile. Well, he always had Sam. The quarrel they had last night seemed to matter little to Dean now, seeming petty and unimportant against the serious nature of him passing. Just happy to have his brother at his side again, forgivingness and understanding came swiftly as he regretted his part in the heated confrontation. Despite the grieving sadness he felt at the loss of his short life, he did find comfort in the fact that it was him who drew the short straw and not Sam or Ellie.
"You actually watch daytime TV, it's terrible." Dean commented lightly breaking the awkward silence, a groggy tone rasping against his deep vocal cords as he stared at the small fuzzy screen of the square black tv set.
"I talked to your doctor." Sam began his hushed voice weighed down with grief as he addressed his brother.
"That fabric softener teddy bear. Oo I wanna hunt that little bitch down." Dean commented half-jokingly at the small screen continuing to avoid the enviable and daunting topic of his untimely death. That bear always did creep him out.
"Dean." Sam implored gently making Dean cast his eyes up at his younger brother for the first time since he entered the room. Sam's face was tangled with grief making Dean's heart ache with self-reproach for letting his brother and little Ellie down. With him gone, he would no longer be able to protect them and that, honestly, is what hurt the man the most. Although, he knew the risk of the dangers Hunting entailed and death was inevitable to come to him sooner or later, he just didn't anticipate it coming so soon. God, he wished he had more time, but that was not how the dice rolled this time and he was going to die. That was just the cold hard fact of the matter. Besides, he was tired he tried to convince himself, but it, sadly, gave the dying man little comfort.
Dean pointed the beefy remote at the tv pressing the power button before tossing it carelessly next to him on the bed.
"Yeah. Well, looks like you guys are gonna leave town without me." Dean expressed in a forced simplicity, although light in his tone, Dean was serious as they would eventually have to leave him when he passed. He just hoped they would stick around long enough until he croaked.
"What are you talking about? We're not gonna to leave you here." Sam reproached sadly both hardily offended and distressed that Dean would think he would leave his side while he was dying. Although, he couldn't hide the fact that he did leave him a day ago and that painful truth burdened the man's heart with heavy torment and remorse. He should have never left him. Sam couldn't help, but feel responsible for his brother getting hurt as he was not there to back him up. Although he couldn't rightly predict that it wouldn't still have happened even if he was there, it still pained him grievously.
"Hey, you take care of my car or I swear I'll haunt your ass." Dean declared in a joking manner, despite being utterly serious about taking care of his precious Impala.
"I don't think that's funny." Sam reproached too damn sad to indulge his brother's humor. In Sam's opinion this was no time to be joking about his life as he found nothing remotely funny about his brother having only a few weeks to a month to live.
"Oh, come on, it's a little funny." Dean offered back, a brave smile twitching upwards at the sides of his lips trying desperately to lighten the heavy mood and dark cloud that was encompassing all three of them.
"D-Dean, I'm sorry. I should have helped you. I should've…" Ellie began desperately apologizing for her tragic failure to help Dean, her voice cracking in burdening distress as she stared at the tan blanket around the man's lower half, too ashamed to look at the man she let down in the eyes. Tears set under the rims of her brown eyes as Ellie's heart ached fiercely with self-torment and blame as she was the one that was there and, in her mind, could've and should've given him the backup he required. Despite wanting to show them she was capable and useful; all she had shown to be was utterly worthless when the situation mattered the most. She failed miserably and it cost the man his life.
"Woah, hold it there, Shakespeare." Dean's calm voice commanded, his croaky tone taken on a firm and poised edge to it, making Ellie lift her head up to look at the man tears of shame glistening in her brown eyes. Dean felt his chest begin to tighten in frustration and pain hating to see the wrongful blame the young girl held in her eyes.
"There is nothing you could have done. You hear me, young lady? Nothing that happened was your fault so don't go thinking that it was." Dean insisted strongly, his deep voice taking on firm and compelling edge attempting to relieve the girl of her misguided guilt.
'I' should have been there. Sam reflected painfully as shameful tears welled up in his eyes.
Ellie dipped her head down as two tears cascaded down her flushed cheeks to which she immediately reached up to swipe them away with her finger tips, her ballcap shadowing the disheartened gloom that entangled her young features. Despite Dean's words of reassurance, and while Ellie did believe the self-sacrificing man didn't blame her, Ellie couldn't find it within her grieving heart to give herself the grace of feeling guiltless. The fact was she had the capability to have done something, but she chose not to and that was all on her.
"Hey, you behave for Sammy." Dean insisted setting out his will and testament to her already, making Ellie tilt her drooped head up to peer at him again feeling her the corners of her lips twitch downwards in a woeful frown. "I mean he's not as fun and charming as me, but you two will get along without me." Dean attempted to joke again, but all he received was two inconsolable faces that looked solemn and utterly heartbroken.
Dean sighed out a plum of air through his nostrils heavily, accepting that the two of them were not taking the bait to make light of this horrible situation like he wanted.
"I mean what can I say guys, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw, end of story." Dean summed up bluntly giving it them straight, thinking there wasn't much to say about it except that.
"Don't talk like that. We still got options." Sam insisted desperately feeling a determination rise up against his heart, the stubbornness within him refusing to accept his brother passing.
"What options? You got burial or cremation?" Dean darkly quipped in a scoffing manner bringing his brother back to the harsh reality of his situation, making Sam scrunch up his face into disgusted grimace at the ill-favored humor and his brother's audacity to mock his pain.
"Look I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die and there is nothing you guys can do to stop it." Dean expressed with blunt sadness, his tired voice cutting into the realm of woeful acceptance.
The grieving lines in Sam's expression suddenly hardened into a stubborn resolve of determination as his neck muscles stiffen and his eyes glinted with bold refusal.
"Watch me." Sam challenged defiantly in a tone that Dean would have guessed was certain if it wasn't for the circumstances. Ellie turned her head slowly to look up at Sam feeling her own willpower become inspired by the man's resolve. Ellie suddenly felt her heavy heart lift with touch of hope as she fought willfully against her suffering.
There were powers in this world that far exceeded doctors' expertise. Sam and Dean didn't know it at the time, but Ellie made up her mind right in that moment that she was going to do whatever was in her power and knowledge to save the man that she was coming to cherish. She had unique knowledge at her disposal and if it came to digging into the realm of daker, unsavory, means to save Dean's life, the desperate girl recklessly declared to try. She had lost too much to bask in the luxury of idly despairing. She was not going to accept Dean dying, not when she had the ability to do something about it. And this time, she wasn't going to be a coward.
Dean gave his brother a weary smile that tugged up half-hearted on the sides of his lips. The Hunter was attempting to put on a brave face for his brother and little Ellie, but truth remained, dying, scared the hell out of the man and he simply didn't want to go where no one could follow.
TBC
I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Believe it or not, I tried to be less wordy and more concise, I have a tendency to over-analyze and describe to excess, perhaps giving details that are unnecessary and not leave some things to the imagination of the reader. Hopefully it's an improvement.
Please review and let me know your thoughts and your insight would be greatly appreciated. Help keep me motivated!
Next Chapter – You left Us, Part 2.
Thanks for reading!