"Kuzon, darling, perhaps you'll forgive me for coming in here. I wish I had come more.

You probably will think my reasoning silly. Perhaps you're even upset with me. I would understand it. I have not been as kind as I wish to be.

The truth is…I feel like I am losing all my children, all at once.

Azula is…

Sorry, I can't speak ill of her. I know what she is, in my heart. And it kills me. I feel as though I have failed some great test in life. I tried so hard to assure she would not turn out like Ozai. Do you not think I saw it in her eyes, from such a young age? And I was not worried every moment she grew that there was this darkness inside of her that I was unable to stop.

And I think a long time ago I came to terms that perhaps…perhaps I would lose her.

But I never expected to lose Zuko.

Or you.

Speaking of Zuko right now is too painful. I am still at war with my thoughts. And I do not wish to hurt him, but parts of me are in agony that Ozai is gone.

I should not be. But he was my husband for many years.

But you, oh, Aang. Will you let me call you that? I hope so. I hope you will wake up and we can have a good talk.

Did you know I wanted a third child? I thought perhaps Azula, as an older sibling, would learn to be…kinder. And I always wanted a large family.

We tried, but alas…it never came to pass.

So when you came to the palace…young, unsure, gangly, and so genuine, it felt like the spirits had answered. I have thought of you as my second son, my third child. Forgive me for this. I know you had a family, and I'm sure you loved them very much.

So I find it hard to be in here. To be faced with an outcome that I very much wish never to happen. But that is selfish of me. You must be struggling, and as a mother, I should be here for you. So I will. I will be in here every day, reminding you that you are very loved, and if you can fight, I hope you do.

Because, if I am to lose you too, I think my heart will break in two."

XX

'Oh! Katara!"

Katara wandered around the camp in a daze. It wasn't until she heard someone calling her name repeatedly that she looked up, blinking into the sun.

She was in the courtyard where all the girls from the Choice were being housed. She hadn't meant to be checking up on them, but now that she was here, she figured she probably should.

It was Cilla who was waving her over. Ari was with her, as instructed, but he didn't seem bothered about being forced to hang around a group of girls all the time. Katara suspected that he was just pleased not to be locked away.

She and a whole slew of the others were lounging on a stone bench next to a wall, seemingly chatting together and enjoying a plate of Air Temple fruit in front of them. Suki had two baby lemurs on her lap, and On Ji was trying to entice one to play with a bit of twine. Besu was stretching out, grinning into the warm sun. Ratana was cutting some fruit for the whole group. Yue was sitting a bit distanced from the rest, and her expression was as far away as Katara's own mind felt. Mai was also there, surprisingly, though she looked a bit out of place.

"Hi, what's up?" Katara asked, forcing her own worries from her mind. Perhaps a distraction would be good for her own mental turmoil.

As Katara approached, Ratana glanced over her shoulder and giggled, and Cilla followed suit. On Ji's face was bright red and it seemed she couldn't stop laughing like she was cursed. Even Suki was deeply interested in something that Katara couldn't see from her current perspective.

Katara crawled onto the bench and placed her hands on the barrier, leaning over.

The girls were seated over a plateau, and it seemed like a training area was below. Katara preferred to train alone, except when Pakku invited her for lessons, so she hadn't been here often, though she knew of its existence.

Currently, most of the younger men were running laps or doing pushups, all the while shirtless.

It was quite toasty here, so close to the sun, so Katara understood it was probably strictly for comfort - oh, one of the Airbender boys turned and winked.

It was flirting. That's what it was. Something Katara, and she'd admit it openly, was pretty terrible at. She missed a lot of the subtleties of the game, and part of her was grateful that Zuko was equally as terrible, otherwise, maybe he'd just have cut her right away for not understanding this giggling and glancing back and forth that was going on.

Katara was surprised so many were so...fit. She knew that a good handful of guards had left, preferring Zuko over Azula, but they were far more numerous in refugees. So of course the guards kept up a good shape, but everyone else?

Well, this was quite... eye-opening.

"We decided we should all have dates to the ball!" On Ji announced, bouncing in her seat, "So we've been trying to narrow our choices. Come here!" she said, making space for her.

"I shouldn't-" Katara began. She also looked at Ari, sure he was uncomfortable, but he was reading.

"Oh, don't mind him. He's a steel trap," Cilla waved her hand, "And he doesn't care. He's heard us discuss much worse."

"Beggers can't be choosers," Ari said simply, not even taking a second to look up from his book.

"I mean, I already have a date, if dates are happening, so-" Katara tried to excuse herself, but Besu grabbed her arm, forcing her to socialize.

"Oh, Kat, it's just window shopping. We know you have no intention of doing anything with these guys, but it's just for fun," Suki smiled at her, "I'm just window shopping too."

"Dreaming of Haru," Ratana sniggered.

"I'm just...not looking for something right now," Suki objected, her face flushed, but there seemed to be far more to this jab than Katara understood. For some reason, she furtively looked at Katara, her eyes turning misty for just a second. Katara almost stepped back, feeling uncomfortable here, but Mai touched her shoulder.

"Stay," she said, for unknown reasons, and Katara eased herself back onto the bench.

"Okay, if we are...just perusing the shoe selection," Cilla winked, "I think that one right there would fit me nicely," she said, pointing to a muscled former guard.

"I like the one with the green eyes," Mai offered next, surprising everyone.

"Yeah, I like him for you too, Mai!" On Ji said, rewarding her efforts. "And he'd be lucky to be asked to the dance by you."

"Oooh, a boy with short hair like that one," Ratana pointed a finger, "Just makes me feel like a pile of goo!"

"That one right there can push me up against a tree," Besu said, biting her lip as she glanced at a long and skinny, but still well-defined, boy.

"I think that one's cute if I had to choose," Suki said.

"Oh, you mean the one who looks like Haru?" Cilla nudged her.

"I guess...a little...but it wasn't my intention."

"Suki has a type!" Katara snorted, and for a second there was silence, and she thought maybe she overstepped. Then, Suki cracked a smile and the girls all teased her.

"Katara, your turn!"

"I...well, I mean, obviously, I'm with Zuko-"

"We all know," Ratana rolled her eyes.

"And this doesn't leave this room but…" Katara tilted her head, examining them with careful scrutiny. "I think the one with the sorta shaggy hair, that one," Katara pointed to a new Airbender, one who she thought was Earth Kingdom before, was doing push-ups.

"Katara has a type too; moody guys with shaggy hair, apparently," Mai teased, in much more friendly spirits than Katara had ever seen.

"I know what I like, I guess!"

"What about you, Yue?" Suki turned.

Yue glanced up, lifting her head from where she was resting her chin on her palm. She blinked twice, slowly.

"Hahn," she said shortly, not curtly, but quickly to get out of the conversation.

Cilla glanced over, "Nope, not down there. C'mon, Yue! We're all playing. Even Ari would pick a guy if we made him, and I don't think he swings that way. It's just a stupid game. We won't hold you to anything."

"If she doesn't want to-" Katara said, furrowing her eyebrows, not wanting to make Yue participate if she didn't want to.

"Yes, her family was probably strict about crushes and such. We shouldn't force it," Suki said, picking up on her obvious discomfort.

"She should live a little! She's not betrothed to anyone now," Ratana flipped her hair, "Not until she goes home and she and Hahn are probably married on the spot." She made a face. "So she'd better have her fun now."

Yue just shook her head, unable to articulate what she was thinking.

"Has Yue been like that for a while now?" Katara said, thinking of their last interaction, whispering the question to Suki. She'd wanted to believe it when Yue said that it was the other girls that were struggling and that she was fine. Yue was usually not one to lie, but now Katara felt terrible for just blindly believing it.

Suki scratched the head of a lemur. "I think she's just in mourning. Like you, she had such a responsibility placed upon her shoulders. She basically failed, you know. She's also a bit reserved, to begin with." She shrugged.

Katara pursed her lips, "I suppose."

"Can it not just be window shopping? Or dates just for the ball?" Ratana twirled her hair, "We all gotta find someone else now that Katara and Zuko are together." She gave a long sigh. "The Choice was easy. Real dating is so hard," she pouted.

Katara hadn't ever thought about how she, being picked, was inconveniencing so many girls.

"It's probably a blessing to be here if I can be so bold," Cilla said, "Because if I had been sent home, I would have had an arranged marriage already set up. I know it. Probably no one that was kind or handsome, just powerful and rich."

"Same," Yue nodded, voice rough.

Mai gave a slow nod. Suki kind of shrugged, as though to say she wasn't sure. Only Ratana was looking at them in horror, the idea had never crossed her mind.

"All of you?" she asked in pity.

"It's normal for girls of our status," Mai said as a very matter-of-fact occurrence. "This was one of the few chances for us to have a say in our own futures. Sort of." She added, "It would bring shame upon our parents to refuse a union they choose."

"So what happens now that you're all here? What happens if you meet someone?" Katara asked, examining the girls, understanding them in a way she hadn't before.

"It's hard to say," Cilla sighed, "But it's not good. I know I have a duty to marry higher than my station for the sake of my family...but…" She trailed off. "So yes, for us, it's just window shopping. And maybe a night of believing it's something more at the ball. And wishing, 'Tana." she added softly.

There was silence. Katara thought the conversation was done, but Ratana quickly recovered.

"So…" Ratana drew out her words, "I've been wondering this for a while. Who would have won? If Katara had never come."

This question piqued everyone's interest. Even Yue looked like she was in the conversation now.

"Out of the whole pool?" Suki said, "Because, well, girls like…oh, what's her name… got sent home because of Katara. The girl at dinner that got sent home! Felicity? Festivia? Something with an F…" Suki said, rubbing her chin.

"Fidelia," Besu supplied, "Haven't thought about her in a while."

"She was crazy though if I recall. She hoped to ensnare Zuko with a child. That was unlikely to work," Yue pointed out.

"I mean, it's obvious I think at least it would have been out of the girls before the tournament. I think he could have picked one or two of those had fate not...gone differently." Cilla tapped her chin.

"A lot of fates," Katara considered. If they'd never arrived on her shore. If she had listened to her father. If she had kept her feelings in check and never fallen. If Zuko had sent her home when they were so tumultuous.

"I think Mai always had a good chance," Ratana turned, nodding to the solemn girl. "All of the Fire Nation, especially the Capitol, was sure it would be her."

"I think...in different circumstances," Mai started carefully, "I think the Zuko he is now would not have chosen me. I think it would have been between Alcina or Yue."

Yue hardly looked up at her name chosen.

"Oooh, I forgot about Al," Ratana agreed. "Wonder what she's up to? I mean, the airbenders are here…" she said, and Katara sighed. One more person to worry about now. What had happened to her?

Katara realized that the girls were looking at her, waiting for her to weigh in.

"If it makes a difference, I told Zuko if he wasn't going to pick me to pick Suki."

Suki smiled at her.

"So I guess it was always a long shot?" Besu sighed, "For me?"

"Yeah. I know he liked your…grit, though," Katara said, hoping she wouldn't feel so bad.

"And me?" Ratana asked hopefully.

Katara wasn't sure how to tell her that Zuko had been surprised she stayed so long. That she'd just...escaped his notice for a while, never the worst, but never the best.

"You are someone he cares for too," Katara said, hoping that she wouldn't be hurt.

"I know that," Ratana squared her shoulders, "Because he made sure that you were taking care of us. Obviously," she said, trying to keep her pride, "Speaking of which, can I get a more comfortable bed?"

Katara sighed. "I can try."

"Do, don't try," Ratana advised. Katara gave her a tight smile.

She turned to talk to Yue, unsure that everything was alright, but the snowy-haired girl had already slipped away.

XX

"Avatar Aang, can I talk to you? I feel as though you may...have some perspective on this. Perhaps you know what I'm…

Nevermind. I'm sorry for bothering you. You're laying here half dead, and I'm asking you silly questions…or was about to. My father, as my father and as Chief Arnook, would be very disappointed in my behavior.

But, perhaps he'd be even angrier if I ignored this. I know he's always feared that I would have to return my life to the spirit who lent it to me someday. I doubt he expected it would be like this, but Aang, perhaps that moment is nigh. And I'm so afraid.

I don't want to slip away. I want to remain in control of my body, but I...I…

Aang, there is this darkness growing inside of me. It is in my veins, I can feel it, pulsing. Waiting.

But I don't quite know for what.

Tui is in me.

I killed someone. Did you know that? During the Palace invasion, I killed someone. I killed someone with waterbending. I promised myself I would never use it. It's not mine. You surely must understand that, don't you? I know everyone thought I was foolish not to use it for the tournaments, but the spirits pulled me through without having to use it anyway.

It's hard for me to talk about. A little because it traumatized me in such a way and a little because I do not know how to accurately describe how it happened.

There was a man. He wanted to hurt me. Don't ask how I know this, I simply do.

And I cannot say that I wanted to use waterbending. All I was thinking was...I wanted to live. I was staring at him, and his sword, and my teacup, and, oh, Aang, I really wanted not to die. I didn't want him dead, I need to make that clear. But I suppose that it's the same thing at the end of the day, isn't it?

The next thing I recall, Katara was standing over me, and he was dead.

I cannot remember what happened between those two moments. I've scoured my mind over and over, but it is simply gone. Or hidden.

I thought that was the only time, but it keeps happening. I wake up with moments missing. And I feel this anger. It is like a tidal wave. It is the sea crashing and destroying and raging. It is the sort of dark water that swallows men whole at sea and never gives up their secrets.

And it is starting to swallow me.

Aang, please wake up. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to push Tui back in now that he's been let out, now that he is seeing the devastation of his people. He is furious, and I...I'm a puppet.

Aang, help me before it's too late."

XX

Aang is sitting in the Royal Receiving Chambers.

He has memorized this room quite well. It's significant to him.

You see, after Zuko fished him out of the iceberg and brought him home, and after they constructed his lineage to sneak him in under the Fire Lord's nose and keep him safe, and after they'd outfitted him with a headband and hat to carefully cover the arrow that his baby-soft newly-grown hair hadn't covered, he sat here.

He sat here, trying not to faint from being so scared and overwhelmed, knowing the fate of the entire world lay just before him. It was behind those doors that his life was going to change.

The fate of the universe lay on how good of a liar Prince Zuko was.

He twiddled his fingers. Somehow, Zuko's uncle had believed the lie too, though he seemed too worldly to be so gullible. Aang was not about to argue it, however, so it was easier to just accept that perhaps the gods were on his side...just minorly.

With Iroh on their side, he thought, there was a chance that Ozai would take Aang under his wing as a long-lost cousin and not dig much farther.

So yes, Aang knew what this room was as soon as he'd opened his eyes.

He kept thinking it was five years ago. His memories were fractured and he was confused. He kept waiting for Zuko to open those doors, his heart pounding in his ears. Then he'd remind himself he knew how this story ended; he was accepted and he'd spent five years disguised as someone he wasn't.

He'd been here this long before.

At first, he couldn't figure it out. It was noisy in here, just like it usually was. He could hear people talking to him; people he knew...Toph, Suki, Katara, Ty Lee, and so many more. They were having full conversations but he couldn't respond. His voice was clipped like the wings of a bird, and he could only listen.

But they weren't really there, or at least, he didn't think so.

If he wasn't paying attention, he'd see wisps of people moving around him, translucent and gauzy. But he was the only one that remained in the waiting room.

There were two sets of doors on either wall, beside the main Royal Throne Room doors.

This is where he saw people pass through.

It had begun as Airbenders he knew from his camp. They'd open one door and walk straight on through, and though Aang was screaming (or trying) to get them to look over, they just kept on walking. He was voiceless. It was like his screams were snatched away as soon as they met air, no matter how much he tried, no matter how many useless steps going nowhere he tried to attempt.

Some looked perfectly fine. Some were riddled with wounds that bled over the floor, but those puddles vanished as soon as they passed through the second door.

Then there was a lull. A break in the unending time, as far as Aang could tell. It would be just one person here or there, like an elderly Earth Kingdom man creaking as he walked.

Then, it seemed there was a whole slew of people again.

Fire Nation guards and workers. He recognized the woman who had been the seamstress for the Choice; though he couldn't remember her name. He still tried to call out, to no avail.

After were Palace Dignitaries, men still in their finery, trying to adjust hairpins on their blooded skulls or wrap their shawls together as they walked beyond the receiving hall, never glancing over even for a second.

Another lull.

Now, it seemed more regular. One or two people every hour, as far as Aang could tell. People were confused, scared, and crying. The world was in agony, and Aang wasn't there.

He couldn't leave. All three doors were locked tightly to him.

When he tried the doors to the Royal Throne Room, he felt a spiritual tug, a tug somewhere inside of him, and sometimes he almost felt like he could yank it free, but at the last second, it would snap back. Behind that door he could hear all the past Avataras that once took up residence in his head, encouraging him.

But he could never open that door.

He was equally locked out of the two smaller doors. Neither budged for him. Both stayed firmly shut.

He couldn't look down the left door, the one people were arriving from. It was just a bright light, too much for his eyes to ever adjust to.

Sometimes, he caught glimpses of the open right door, as he tried to dart in after someone else, but was always pushed back.

Part of him longed to follow the parade through the doors on the right. Just beyond that door, he saw them.

Gyatso. Hivri. Dhakiya. Kuzon - the one he'd known in his youth. His mother.

They were laughing. They were at peace. They were happy.

They were beckoning to him, but Aang could not follow, no more than he could move from this tiny box, ever seated on the couch, memorizing the pictures above him, the never-changing vases with immortal plants, and counting the tiles on the floor.

"Hey, brother,"

It was Zuko's voice.

Aang sat back down on the receiving room couches, sighing. He knew Zuko couldn't hear him, but at least, by speaking back, he didn't feel so alone.

"Hi, Zuko. Wish I was wherever you were."

XXX

"Hey, brother.

Another long day with my Uncle doing nothing. I mean, I thought he was the Dragon of the West. I thought he was the one who besieged Ba Sing Se. I thought he took action. Maybe Uncle Iroh isn't the man I thought he was.

I guess that's a bit of a common theme, isn't it?

My father was not who I thought he was, and I kil- well, now he's dead.

Azula was not who I thought she was. I think I still did see her as my sister and didn't think she had such an ability to do the terrible things she had.

I'm just worried I can't trust my own choices. I can't trust my own perceptions, because I'm not confident in anyone anymore.

If Katara wasn't so steady, in a frustrating way we both know, I might not be able to be with her either.

But I do know Katara. I know her better than myself.

And I know you.

That counts for something.

Aang, I'm just angry. I'm angry and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I'm tethered here. Some might be glad for sanctuary at all, but I'm hungry.

I am a man so close to starving. And that's when things always get dangerous, right?

And for what you ask? Well, you're not going to be happy, but…I want revenge. For Lu Ten, for my father, for my home. Azula took all those things away and I'm just left trying to make sense of it.

I guess that's no surprise. You've always called me hot-headed. Maybe I deserve this. I dunno.

Oh!

Katara, hey.

I'm just talking to Aang. I know it seems weird, I know it's weird, but I just…wait, is that the vial? Have you decided?"

As a reminder, we'll go to every-other-week updates to hopefully keep on a good chug along! If I feel my head-start begin to slip, I may go to once every third week, but for now, let's hope I can keep this up!

And, obviously, we want to see all our girls in fulfilling happy lives, and we have a fair amount of OCs/canon girls that are unmatched. So, who would you be rooting for to see date!