The simple act of changing into my pajamas felt like a ritual reborn as if this were the first time I was doing this in a new way. The way that love made everything new and interesting wasn't a feeling I believed I would experience again. I used to think, 'No amount of repairing or consoling could bring me back to this kind of fervor'. All it took to reverse this was a tall vampire spawn from another universe.

And yes, I did use the L-word. Love. As quickly as our kiss, it was clear to me that it wasn't worth resisting my feelings for him any longer. What was the point? Deep down, I was upset because the feelings I had for him were deeper than I'd intended. It wasn't the kind of 'deep' you fell into and drowned, it was the kind of deep worth exploring, not resisting.

Pulling on my usual t-shirt and shorts, I felt an electric excitement and nervousness. I considered putting more clothes on. (When was the last time I cared about what I was wearing in my own apartment?!) It's not like I was ready to jump in bed with Astarion right this moment. I needed time to let this be what it was, not a rushed encounter to be forgotten. I wanted to savor this part of my life. The start of something worth waiting for, so to speak.

Opening my bathroom door, I tried to calm my heart down. My pulse was thundering in my skull. Though I supposed I was just hungry.

Leaving my bedroom, I tried to act normal, Sarge at my heels as I made my way to the kitchen. Astarion was in the living room, watching cars go by. I started pulling out a pot to make ramen, dumping the contents of the package into the water, when I felt warm hands on my waist, pulling me back into him.

I smiled, the scent of firewood and pine filling my nostrils as Astarion gently took the pot from my hands, placed it on the counter, and fully wrapped his arms around me. One was around my waist, the other around draped over my shoulder, across my chest.

"Hmm…you always smell so delectable. It's a wonder you haven't attracted any vampires from other realms before." Astarion purred, nudging behind my ear with his nose. Ripples of nerves ran down my spine like a cold waterfall as he inhaled, his breath tickling my ear.

I leaned back, momentarily forgetting my hunger, letting his warmth envelope me, wondering if I could make this last forever. My palms felt his arms, his skin smooth but tough like marble, as if he were unbreakable, unyielding. I felt his lips now, kissing below my ear, making his way down my neck.

A sharpness. Like a cold teardrop had fallen on my neck. "Are you trying to sneak a taste?" I joked. Of course, at this point, I wasn't sure I minded such an idea.

I felt Astarion pause as if he was catching himself. He pulled away but kept me in his arms as he stated, "Apologies, darling. A vampire's thirst is not always a conscious state of mind. But you do smell quite lovely if it's any consolation."

My stomach growled and he chuckled. "It seems we both have needs to attend to." Pulling away, I felt the warmth evaporate, the presence of an absence sucking away the euphoria. I wanted to curl up in his arms and risk getting bitten to remain in it a while longer.

Astarion began making his way to the closet. Confused, I asked, "Where are you going?"

He flashed me an assuring smile as he replied, "To hunt. It's late and I'd rather not drag you out again, though you do look lovely." I glanced down at my baggy pajamas, but his smile was in earnest.

"Where would you go? The wilderness isn't within a walkable distance." I warned.

Astarion turned away from the coat closet to fully face me, responding, "This is a city. I'm sure I can find some poor creatures to snack on."

"Animals? Or humans?"

"Either." He smiled at me again.

I glanced at the time. It was only about nine PM. If we drove to another spot (one that didn't have bears roaming around), it wouldn't risk him getting caught. And we could be alone.

"Ok, how about I inhale this ramen, change, I can grab some stuff and we'll go somewhere you can hunt without killing people," I suggested.

"What, are you afraid I'll get caught?" He smirked, both of us knowing he probably wouldn't.

"I think I just don't want you to leave me." The words escaped me before I could catch them. Their truth stunned me because it was true without a doubt.

Astarion chuckled and waltzed over. He grabbed my hands again, ever so gently, and looked down at me with his blazing red eyes. "I would love to spend every waking moment with you, forever, until the realms between us fall away to time. If you wish to help me, as you have since I met you, then I would love that. But don't feel like you have to. This hunger is my own, a burden I don't want you to bear." His eyes searched mine for hesitation.

But I was stuck on his words. 'The realms between us'. What if his friends returned? Would they whisk him away from me, back to Faerun forever? I tried to bury the thought, but Astarion knew something was wrong.

He frowned and asked me what it was. After I told him, he looked down, contemplating, but didn't let go of my hands.

"The future is not something I can predict nor see, Blue. But one thing is for sure," he answered, "For the first time, I'm not willing to give anything up to lose what I want. And that's you."

He had such a way with words. My heart skipped several beats and he smiled, probably from hearing it. I said, "OK. Then I guess you're stuck with me."

Astarion grinned and pulled me into a hug. I could feel his own heart racing as he whispered, "I am, eternally, stuck with you."

On the way to a wilderness area, Astarion asked me more about Seattle and how Earth works. We were on our way to Bear Pond, a wilderness area where camping was allowed. It was beautiful in the summer, but this early in winter, it was mostly deserted. The water was deathly freezing, and not very spectacular at night.

Unless the moon was out. Then, it was a beautiful sight, something I returned to every so often, just to stare at the black water reflecting the orb of a moon on clear nights.

And tonight, it was crystal clear, if not very cold out.

I was wearing a thick rain jacket over a hoodie, jeans, my camping boots, and a beanie. I had left Sarge in the apartment as I didn't want to risk him getting eaten by any more wild animals. Astarion had thrown on his rain jacket too, but didn't feel as cold as I did. You know, vampire blood and all runs pretty hot, I guess.

He asked me about my hobbies, my past, my future, and of course, Sarge's origin. The way he took an interest in my life energized me. I'd never met someone who'd bothered to ask.

But I was growing curious about his life too. After a brief pause in my explanation about music streaming and how wifi worked (which I barely understood, to be honest), I asked, "So…were you trying to kill Cazador before you fell on me? Or were you just enjoying freedom with your tadpole?" I couldn't believe the words as I spoke them. I felt like we were in a fantasy novel.

Astarion grew quiet, but he was thinking, not shutting me out. With a sigh, as if he couldn't figure out the correct answer to a problem, he replied, "Yes and no. My friends and I were on our way to the city to investigate the origins of our tadpoles, so to speak. On the way, I wanted to find Cazador and…I guess, sort it out from there."

I frowned. "This guy's a powerful lord, right? Doesn't he have any weaknesses?"

Astarion said, "He was attempting to perform some sort of ritual, as far as we knew. One that would allow him to become more powerful than ever before. But it required several souls. My brothers and sisters would be among them. I would be too if I weren't able to resist his commands."

"Does someone like that even need more power?" I inquired, only half-asking. Of course, more power was always the answer. Even humans had this desire. Including me - I was after Augustine's job, after all.

Astarion knew I was joking but he replied bitterly, "Of course he does. Someone like him can't be satiated. And if I could, I was going to take his power for my own. After all, it couldn't hurt after centuries of absolute shit." Astarion's words grew more bitter, acid dripping at the mention of his torture.

"Take his power? Like…become a vampire lord?" I asked.

Astarion thought for a moment, then said, "Yes."

I understood his desire for this. I can't pretend that I know what years of slavery meant to someone like Astarion, but becoming what he hated? Transforming into the very thing that boils his blood, (no pun intended)? It felt wrong to see him throw himself away to a true monster, to someone who seemed to lack any empathy or love for anything but his desire for power.

I didn't want to see Astarion turn into this. But I also felt bad for thinking it was in my power to stop him. He deserved it, after all, right?

Would he be the same Astarion if he killed Cazador and became a vampire lord? Would that even rid him of his tadpole?

I must have been too quiet because Astarion looked at me through the soft glow of the car's internal console lights. He asked, "You're thinking about what ascending would entail, aren't you?"

I sensed he was somewhat bitter, as if this was a byproduct of me asking about it, and him being honest. I didn't want to make him feel like this was the wrong answer.

"I am. But," I considered my next words carefully, studying the winding dark roads as we approached our destination. "You come from a place with many dangers. That kind of power could be useful and would probably prolong your quality of life, sure. But if the cost is becoming something I can't follow you into, then I worry my place in your life becomes obsolete, so to speak."

Astarion replied, "Hm. I'm not one to plan for such things. You could just be my first spawn if you'd like?" I couldn't tell if he was joking.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I responded seriously. Then I added, "Or maybe if I had a tadpole. Then I could be like a level zero vampire. I could be like you, but not your slave. And I could still enjoy the Sun."

Jesus, my imagination was morbid. Yeah, Blue, let's infect my brain with a tadpole and then get bitten by a vampire. Yes. Wonderful. I internally smacked myself. If there was a truly chaotic kind of person, I was sure it was me.

Astarion laughed, briefly assuring me that the idea was either possibly ridiculous or ridiculously possible. He said, "Well, there's an idea. Though I'd rather prefer you were mine entirely."

I chose not to unpack that statement as we arrived at the wilderness. I pulled over to a gravel area, meant for parking. There were no other cars and it was dark out. My car's thermometer read 37 degrees. Grabbing spare gloves, I got out and grabbed the camping gear. This time, Astarion knew where everything was and followed suit.

Trailing behind me, I knew where to go. Using a large flashlight, we walked about half a mile towards the lake, where a small clearing was. It was only a few feet from the lake if you dared walk in and freeze to death.

On the way, Astarion sensed my tension. He affirmed, "You know that if I were to ascend, we could rule all of Faerun if we wanted."

I rolled my eyes. "I mean, yeah, I'll just ditch my job, friends, and dog to rule a world of people I know nothing about."

Astarion remarked, "That's usually how it works, yes. It's almost what I've done, essentially. Minus the ruling part. Though, I bet I could here."

Right. His friends and home was a universe away. I felt more guilt, but I knew it wasn't technically my fault this had all happened.

I set my things down, using the flashlight to begin digging out fire supplies. Astarion bent down to help as I spoke. "Look, I understand what you want. And I obviously can't stop you. But you're perfect how you are now. I just want you to know that before you go Cazador King-slaying."

Astarion placed wood down and scoffed. "Pfft, well I disagree. No one is perfect. And you're right, you can't stop me. But," amidst my moving around to arrange things properly, Astarion grabbed my arm to stop me as he said, "I want you with me for as long as you can bear my company."

He pulled off my glove with a gentle tug and kissed it. Despite the weather, I felt a heat radiating from my chest and palms. It felt like an energy surge from such a basic touch. I wanted to share it with him, to hold his face and give him this energy to fight off whatever we'd face, together.

And above all, I wanted to be with him. I wasn't sure about forever, but then again, I wasn't sure who was.

I smiled at him, the flashlight barely illuminating his face as I said quietly, "Then I'll be with you. Because I'm stuck with you, remember?"

Astarion laughed in an exhale, then pulled me into a kiss, warmer than a hundred fires ablaze. He held me close, tightly, as if I'd float away. My arms similarly wrapped around him, as if Cazador himself was about to take him away forever.

I dreaded that in some sense, he would.

"Alright, so for starters, you must calm and ready your mind. This is not like any other teleportation you've done before, I assure you." Seledra firmly warned.

In the clearing on the second floor of her house, Shadowheart, Seledra, and Karlach stood in a wide circle around Gale. Gale wore his usual robes along with one of the pendants from Kosef. Shadowheart wore the other one, her armor shining anew in the morning light from the window, making her sparkle. They all wore the rings, which radiated a pleasant heat on their fingers.

Karlach was too hot to wear the pendant, so she agreed to remain behind, despite her protests to Gale. "I got us into this mess, I ought to get us out. And imagine the praise I'll get from Astarion when I pull him out of whatever hole he's in." He said to Karlach on the way to Seledra's house.

At the time, Karlach rolled her eyes at his jokes, but now, it felt more serious. They were about to get him back. There was no failing now. It had to work.

"Alright. Mind clear. Got it." Karlach said, her eyes closed, tail relaxed. Don't fuck this up, soldier, she told herself.

Seledra replied, "Good. For this to work, I'll say the command once we are ready. Then, we must picture Gale and Gale alone. Gale," she looked to him in the center, her expression serious, "You must imagine Astarion."

Gale made a face and then remarked, "Well, that won't be hard. Been with the bastard for months now."

Seledra wasn't amused as she corrected, "No, you cannot just imagine an image of him. I mean in every way possible. Hear his voice. How he walks. His smell. You must imagine him in his entirety."

Gale raised his eyebrows, "Hm. I suppose that won't be so hard if I were in love with him."

Shadowheart flashed him a hard look as she remarked, "Gale this isn't funny. We all know him well. You can do this."

Karlash added, "Gale, we've got one shot at you not turning into a pile of goo, so let's drop the jokes for once, eh?"

Gale sighed, relenting, "I know, I'm just trying to lighten the mood. It is me that's going, let us not forget."

Shadowheart raised her eyebrows, amused, "At your courageous request, as I recall." She glanced at Karlach who tried not to laugh. Seledra cleared her throat, and continued, "Right. Assuming that this will work, it will take a moment to work, but once it does, we will attempt to pull you back after a day. Correct?" The master sorceress looked to Gale for confirmation. He nodded.

"Yes. After a day, I will be aware of any shining lights under my feet, and think of you all, happily waiting for me upon my heroic return, with our dear friend in tow." Gale confirmed.

Seledra added, "With the necklaces, there should be a brief moment in which you'll know you're being summoned. Be sure you are touching your friend, and you both should return here. Theoretically."

"Right. Didn't need to additional 'theoretically' part, but I'm glad we're being accurate about our calculations here." Gale chided, nervous.

Seledra affirmed, "This is mostly new. The way magic is being used here is risky. But it should be mitigated with shared power. And I'm very good at what I do, trust me," Seledra smiled, a clever wickedness behind it that implied self-confidence. It made Gale feel better, at least.

"Now, shall we begin?" Seledra asked.

With a few deep inhales and nodes, Karlach responded loudly, "Fuck yes."

Astarion helped Blue set up the rest of the camp. This world had such clever tools that Faerun lacked. Tents made of a material that Blue called 'plastic' for one, was genius. It repelled water and seemed flexible, yet light. Though it wouldn't make great armor, it was certainly lighter than leather and made comfortable, warm clothing.

The vampire spawn felt more radiant this time during his hunt. Due to the late hour, it had gone by in a breeze. Though he couldn't fully see in the dark, he fared much better than Blue, who carried a device similar to a torch of fire to see anything within two feet.

Her humanness amused and humbled him, at times. She carried herself with a sense of tough fragility. Her practical precision in how she moved contrasted with her often nonchalant emotions or humor-laden remarks. The past had been rough for her, as it had for many, and yet here she stood, willing to let Astarion into her life.

Of course, it helped that he knew he was attractive and charming. But she saw something good in him. Something worth saving. Otherwise, she wouldn't have expressed such hesitation at his desire to ascend.

This gave him pause. He felt the undeniable temptation to ascend even in his realm, no sooner than he'd heard about the ritual. But at the cost of losing Blue? He knew he'd turn into something worse than what he already was. Refusing to be quite as open with her on that made his stomach churn with guilt, but something told him she already knew.

Count on a beautiful woman to confuse me, he cursed to himself while watching Blue gather sticks for the fire.

Careful not to get himself too dirty this time, he'd worn the clothes Blue gave him, their textures pleasing to his skin. And of course, they were his own clothes, not something slapped upon his back like a doll.

Despite leaving his friends, he could picture himself staying here forever. The loss of Shadowheart, Gale, and Karlach would take years to move on from. But he'd do it with Blue at his side and Cazador in another realm, forced to never complete the ritual without him.

And that sounded pleasing to the elf.

Dropping the last stick onto the fire, I felt the chill getting to me. Turning on the miniature battery-powered space heater, I placed it in the tent to begin heating it.

The fire was just bright enough to highlight the edge of the lake, which was reflecting the moon like a spotlight, making the night a little easier to see, but not by much. Astarion practically glowed with his white hair. The night was mostly still, a rarity in mid-October when it should be rainy and unbearably freezing at night.

The night was only slightly breezy, creating one hell of a windchill. But I wasn't cold at all.

Every time I looked at Astarion, I felt my heart race against itself, as if it was trying to prepare me for some sprint towards an end that would never come. It didn't feel like the burning adrenaline with the bear, but a warmer, pulsing feeling that energized me to my core.

As if on cue, he was waiting outside my tent, eyes bright from his recent meal, or meals. He looked at me, his eyes locking mine in a sincerity that almost froze me to the ground with paralyzing realization.

I loved him. And if he ascended, I would remain with him. I had to. The thought of leaving him just because he was a monster felt worse than remaining with him if he were one. I spoke the words, I was his. After all, "stuck" implied "stuck". It was not a temporary state to me, but one I chose to enforce the implication of permanence.

And if I was his, I had to show him. Words wouldn't convince him, I knew this. They wouldn't convince me.

"Come with me," I grabbed his hand and we strolled across the camp toward the lake. Silently, he let me pull him right to the edge of the water. We stopped, my back was towards the lake, so I could see the light reflecting onto his face. As if it were second nature, he wrapped me in his arms, looking down at me in a hazy, joy-filled gaze, as if he were high.

His eyes met mine, and I reached upwards to whisper in his ear. "Take my blood."

Pulling his head back to look at me, his eyes were skeptical, surprised, as he said, "Blue, are you…sure?"

I replied, "I trust you. I'm yours, no matter what happens," and stroked his cheek with my thumb, my hands holding his face, soft.

"You know I just ate, right? It isn't necessary to offer me this." Astarion added, speaking quietly.

"I know. I'm just curious as to what my blood tastes like." I joked, though I was curious. Astarion smirked in response.

Gradually lowering to a whisper, Astarion replied, "Well, if you are insisting, then I don't see any harm. I'll be careful." He pulled me closer, our bodies sparing no inch of space as he gently tilted my head back with a nudge of his thumb, which was nudging against my jaw.

Heart pounding like a storm, I pushed into him while leaning back fully, my chest pushing outwards as I let my neck relax under his warm, tender grasp. In a brief transition, he took the lead and I felt his grip around my waist and head strengthen as he lowered his head towards my neck.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear, his hair tickling me. My heart swelled as if it would jump from my outstretched chest at any moment, adrenaline racing through me again, this time in anticipation and excitement rather than fear.

I feared nothing with Astarion. There was no bear, no ex, no scary monster that could pull me away from this.

Like a syringe of glacial water, I felt something sharp plunge straight through my neck to what felt like my spine, ripping through my veins, around my heart, my soul. It was instant, but it felt like a gaining of something, rather than a loss as I was already beginning to feel numb. It was as if everything inside me was freezing, but gaining a radiant, deep energy. Despite the numbness, I was sure I was transforming into something else, and it wasn't a dead human.

And, if I wasn't mistaken, we were glowing. A white light was radiating from below us like a dimming lamp had been turned on and it was gradually rising. I thought it was just Astarion's hair and a trick of the moonlight, but it must not have been normal, as Astarion stopped.

"What-" he started. As he let go, I felt the numbness slowly ebb alongside the radiance, and I wanted to ask if that was normal.

But I didn't get a chance, because that light suddenly shot a bolt of lightning. In a flash and thundering boom, I was shoved backward, and propelled into the freezing lake.

The instant freezing was not pleasant like Astarion's bite. It was painful, and my clothes were weighing me down, making it hard to keep afloat. The icy waters stung my eyes, and my skin, and I couldn't breathe properly. The water paralyzed me, a whiplash from the state I was in, not a millisecond before.

I tried to find where I had been standing, but the light was gone. I could somewhat hear Astarion yelling. If he was in danger, I was no use flopping about in the water. But I was too far away to see anything, the darkness and cold waters making it impossible to function. And my clothes were only making it twice as hard to stay afloat. I tried to fumble desperately with the zipper of my jacket, but my fingers seemed too numb, too shaky. That, and my arms were trying to keep me floating.

Was I going to die here?

"Oomf!" Gale yelped, landing directly on Astarion, who let out a guttural cough as Gale exclaimed, "Astarion! I found you! Ha! And here I was, doubting I wasn't able to picture your entirety-" Gale started, using finger quotations at the word 'entirety', but Astarion was not listening.

Shoving Gale off of him, Astarion shouted, "What is it with people from other realms always falling on me?!"

Confused, Gale dusted himself off as he stood up properly. "What do you mean? Has anyone else followed or traveled…where exactly is here?"

"A world populated only by humans with advanced technology - what are you doing here? How did you find me?" Astarion rushed, eyes wide. The pale elf couldn't decide if he was annoyed at Gale's impeccable timing, or thrilled that he somehow managed to find him. Maybe he could have the best of both worlds. Maybe he could make this all work while avoiding Cazador. Maybe-

Blue.

Where in the devil was she? Astarion whipped around, eyes searching every inch around him for her.

"Shut up!" Astarion seethed at Gale, listening. Gale scoffed, deeply annoyed.

I come all this way and not only is he not in danger, but he's telling me to shut up. Classic Astarion. Gale thought. Though, he was hardly surprised.

But Astarion looked frenzied, as if searching for hidden enemies. His eyes jumped around their surroundings, which, to Gale, looked like a small campsite with a…odd looking kind of tent. He wondered what it was made out of.

Astarion whipped around towards the lake, the black waters churning, ripples indicating movement.

She must have fallen in. How far? This water would kill someone within minutes. Astarion thought with panic and began searching, willing his eyes to locate her as quickly as he could.

Gale impatiently put his arms on his waist, and walked up to Astarion, trying to see what he was looking at.

"What in the devil are you looking for?" Gale asked. He saw nothing, it was too dark for even his eyes.

Astarion suddenly whirled around to him, a pleading in his eyes that shocked Gale. Astarion never pleaded for anything. But his words spilled out before Gale had time to process why the vampire was acting this way. "Cast some sort of light, anything. We need to find her, I think she fell into the lake."

Gale peered out, hesitating. Astarion shouted, "Do it!"

"Geez, alright, but don't say hi or thank me or anything." With a few commanding words, Gale cast dancing lights across the waters, willing it to move further away from them. Several hundred feet away was Blue. Astarion could barely hear her, but they could see what looked like waving arms.

Then, they sank.