THE FIRST TIME

I plop down on the steel bleacher, wiping sweat from my brow. Aaron is laughing, wiggling his eyebrows at me as he passes where I sit on the track. It's utterly unfair how fast he is and how much farther he can still run than me. We've been out here four times a week for the last six months and I'm still barely making an eleven minute mile.

I pick up the Gatorade I packed - yellow, the best flavor - and chug. Then, I take my phone from the holder on my arm and look at the time. We have an hour before our Shakespeare class starts. Aaron, an engineering student, struggles with English classes and I struggle with being a normal human being, so we came up with a deal - he'd help me get in shape and I'd help him pass his English classes.

My eyes scan the woods behind the track - a routine I picked up from my time living in Forks. You never know what's lurking in the woods, y'know? But it's been years since I've had to deal with vampires. For a second, though, I swear I see someone pale standing in the shade of the trees. I blink twice, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hand and they're gone.

It's been years since I've hallucinated too, but I don't really want to talk about that.

I don't want to be late to class, so I get on the ground and start my cooldown stretches as Aaron laps me again. His long, braided hair is tied back and his dark skin glistens with sweat. Chelsea, my nosy neighbor, finds him hot as fuck but I don't really notice things like that anymore.

Oregon State is my reset. I'm a new woman. Well, I'm trying to be. Really hard. It's been a long time since I thought about anything that happened back in Forks. I refuse to think about it now, cranking my audiobook up. I throw on my track jacket to cover my black sports bra, zipping it up to my chin. My body has filled out since high school - my breasts are larger, firmer. I grew a little taller too. Still, I don't want to show my body off. I don't want the attention.

Aaron slows to a walk and ambles up next to me, bumping my shoulder as he grabs a foot to begin stretching out his quads. I pause my audiobook. "You're getting better out there." His voice isn't even strained; I make a face, scrunching my nose up and sticking out my tongue. My heart is still pounding even after the cooldown.

He laughs, his teeth gleaming like sunshine cutting through the morning fog. "I mean it, Bells."

"It doesn't feel like it." I shrug. "I'm going to go grab the next bus so I can shower before class." I don't need to compliment him on how fast he is - he knows. He still holds the record for fastest mile in the county in his hometown. I think his name is even hanging up in the gymnasium at his former high school.

"You want a coffee or tea this morning?" Aaron yells after me.

"Chai with a shot of espresso please," I call over my shoulder as I walk briskly to the bus stop. I don't even trip on the sidewalk once.

I don't have to wait long for the bus - during the semester, they arrive pretty much every ten minutes. My studio apartment is only three stops away, so I stay standing, leaning casually on one of the poles and stare out the window as I listen to Stephen King. I don't listen to romances anymore.

It starts drizzling outside when I'm one stop from home, the water smearing against the windows. I wanted to go somewhere warmer, sunnier for college, but Oregon offered me nearly a full ride three years ago, so here I am.

I'm annoyed that I didn't pack a raincoat, though the water feels good against my overheated skin as I step off the bus. I stop to look up, closing my eyes and letting the water trickle down my cheeks.my skin is so translucent that I always look like a tomato after I exercise. It's truly a miracle no one stopped to ask me if I was okay yet - I usually get at least one.

As I approach my apartment building, the red brick gleaming in the rain, I can't seem to shake the feeling that something is off. I look over my shoulder a few times, but no one is there.

The first door at the entrance to my hallway is always unlocked. There are four studio apartments in this block, with mine the first door on the left. Chelsea is across the hall. I'm surprised I don't see her peak through the blinds as I walk up.

I unlock the door to my studio and step inside, shucking off my track jacket and preparing for a cool shower. When I walk into my bathroom, my gut tells me something is wrong. I scan the area.

I swear my shampoo has been moved. I pull out my phone and hover over Seth's number. Jake and I ended a bit messy after he tried to date me, so my next closest friend slash protector is Seth. I move through the rest of the studio, my finger hovering over the call button, but it seems like nothing else is amiss. My clothes are all accounted for. Jake killed Victoria years ago, so it's not like some crazed vampire would be after me.

I decide to ignore it, put my phone down, and jump in the shower.

~~~~

Aaron meets me outside of class with five minutes to spare. Rick, our ancient professor, always greets each student at the door to the lecture hall, clasping each of our hands in his overly large ones. He's chatting with Aaron now, asking him about the memoir he assigned for homework.

"Ms. Swan," Rick grins politely and shakes my hand as Aaron passes me my chai. Rick always remembers me because I attend office hours, partially to keep my grades up and partially to keep busy. He remembers Aaron because he's one of the only two Black students in the class.

Aaron and I amble in and take our usual seats. Pulling out my notebook, my copy of the drama, a flair pen, and silencing my phone, I set up the little desk that slides out from between the seats. I take my time titling the page in my notebook while Aaron recounts the study date he went on the night before. I smile and nod politely, barely paying attention. I don't do dates and I don't do date stories.

"I'm glad you had fun," I mumble.

"Bells, are you even paying attention?" I look up at him finally.

"I just told you this was the worst date of my life. She literally called me by the wrong name." He sounds exasperated.

My eyebrows shoot up. "What did she call you?"

"Jeremy!" He scoffed. "Do I look like a Jeremy?"

It seemed to be a bad thing, so I widened my eyes and shake my head.

Rick walks in then with the intent to start the class. The only trouble is, I find myself suddenly without the ability to focus; my meticulously titled notes stare up at me from the desk.

Because Edward Cullen has just walked in behind Rick.

I reach over and grip Aaron's forearm hard, my nails digging into his skin. "What?" He hisses.

Edward walks to the row in front of me, glancing at me once, and sits down fluidly, taking out a notebook. His bronze hair is messy like he's been running his hands through it.

"Who's the new guy?" Aaron whispers in my ear. I am still grasping his arm. I send a silent thank you out to him for not ripping away from me or, worse, yelling about how I'm maiming him. Still staring at the back of Edward's head, he catches my eye as he turns toward me. He nods toward me, his face serious.

"What the fuckkkk," I breathe as he turns back around. I swear I see his shoulders shake with laughter.

I feel Aaron's large hand close around mine as he gently detaches my fingers from his forearm. "You know him?" He asks under his breath.

Know him? Know him? I know him, alright. "Biblically," I mouth, slumping low in my seat. I shake my hair out so that it hides my face.

Well, there goes my grade in this class.

"Ms. Swan?" My head snaps up. Great, now Rick is cold calling on me? "I was hoping you'd provide some insight on Shakespeare's depiction of women in this play."

I try very hard not to make eye contact with Edward, who I know is now looking at me. His eyes are black like he hasn't had anything to drink in awhile and the dark circles below them make him look extra moody. He's wearing a cream colored button up with the sleeves rolled up over his taut forearms.

Suddenly, I'm speaking loud and clear about the misogyny of it all. I look up at the stage where Rick is and begin, "We see both male and female characters in the play refusing to behave in accordance with their gender roles, but like in Macbeth, only female characters are denigrated for it." He's nodding, and I feel like I'm on a roll already. I tilt my body toward Edward, an angry heat building in my chest. I don't look directly at him - I'm too terrified to lose my train of thought - but I know he won't miss my point. "Katherine in particular is insulted and abused - her obstinance -" I use the word he used to describe me as - "and strong will are seen as something to be ashamed of, while Bianca's obedience is glorified. Katherine is consistently dehumanized and frankly, she deserved better." I look back at Rick, who is chuckling at my rant. My cheeks heat.

"Exactly. And who has evidence that supports Ms. Swan's claim?"

Aaron's low faux whistle draws my attention. I glance over at him. "Oh, he's pissed," he whispers, covering his mouth with his hand.

I risk a glance at Edward. It's like my eyes move of their own fruition, like he's a magnet and I'm a helpless chunk of metal. Edward, who does indeed look pissed. Not at me, which would be unclear to anyone who doesn't know - didn't know - him as well as I do - did. Past tense. Knew.

He's furious with himself.

He's looking straight at my full lips as I mouth, "Good."

~~~~

When Rick ends class forty minutes later, I am ready to rush out right away. My backpack is packed. I have ten minutes to make it across campus for my geology lab, and I'm not going to stop to talk to Edward. I refuse. I mumble goodbye to Aaron and throw my bag over my shoulder.

As I knew it would happen, Edward times it so he's at the exit door the same time I am. I don't meet his eyes. He falls into step with me, and I can hear him open his mouth only to snap it shut.

We walk briskly across campus. I don't trip once.

When we make it to the science building, I don't turn to look at him. "I have class." I say without emotion.

"Bella…" he draws out the syllables of my name like he likes hearing them. Like he's worshipping them. Like he hasn't let himself say them in a long time.

"I don't want to hear it-" I start to say his name, but the syllables lodge in my throat.

I begin walking up the four flights of stairs to class, my eyes trained on my feet. He follows, his steps measured and careful. I don't tell him not to, so it's not like he's overstepping. When I reach the door to class, I stop and turn to him, my chest is heaving from the climb and from the fury bubbling inside. I force myself to meet his eyes.

They are black as pitch.

Edward does not look well. He's still otherworldly, still beautiful, but his skin and hair has lost some of its luminance. His eyes are bloodshot. My traitorous fingers twitch at my side, trying to touch his cheek. I shove them into the pockets of my jeans.

He's looking at me like he would give anything to touch me. Like he still loves me.

It feels like a lie. The hole in my chest burns.

I shake my head and step through the door, shutting it in his face. I square my shoulders and start for the last open seat.

No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer.

Another New Moon AU, you ask? Well, yes. I always wanted to read one where Edward has to work for it and where Bella makes him sweat a bit.