Lucy stands in the void with her arms folded. "When you wish upon a star, you get ripped off by an evil corporation."

A blonde-haired fairy appeared, and raised a wand to whack Lucy's head. Lucy in turn, pulled out a fly swatter. "No."

Be Careful What You Wish For...

In the basement of the Loud House, Lincoln was going through the pockets of the dirty laundry from his family members like a thief. He suddenly stops and glares at the narrator, "Hey, when I agreed to do the family's laundry since Lori left for college, I said I'd do it on the condition that anything I find left in their pockets will be mine." Lincoln looked around the basement and cupped his hand over his mouth, "Also that mom and dad would give me a bigger allowance."

"Wow Lincoln, that hardly seems fair." Lucy remarked.

Lincoln yelped and jumped, then put his hands on his hips, "Lucy! I agreed to do MORE chores, so it's only fair that I get MORE allowance."

Lucy shrugged, "As if my chores are any easier."

"Lucy, you breathe on the dishes for your chore."

"...okay, you got me there."

Lincoln went back to the laundry, "Did you need something?"

"I was wondering if you came up with a plan to make me a vampire yet."

Lincoln shook his head, "I looked it up online, but there's a lot of junk to sort through. Clyde is also in therapy for a bit now that he knows he's a vampire too. Grim doesn't seem to know anything either..." Just then, Lincoln found Grim's cloak in the laundry hamper. It definitely needed a wash, "Ew...when was the last time Grim washed this? Wait, is it even machine washable?" Lincoln dug through the pockets.

"You're stealing from Grim too?" Lucy asked.

"Uh, no! I'm just making sure he didn't leave anything that would curse our clothes, like cause them to shrink or smell like sulfur or something...hm?" Lincoln pulled out a skull with shining rubies in its eyes and the number "9" apparently painted red on its brow.

"Oooh." Lucy gasped.

Lincoln looked the skull over, "Uh, what is this? Is this Grim's spare skull?"

The skull's rubies shined and moved its jaw, "A spare I am not! Do perish the thought!"

Lincoln lidded his eyes, "Okay, a magic talking skull that rhymes. This is my life now, I guess."

"I, Thromnambular, do much more than rhyme my boy! I grant wishes, like a brand new toy!"

Lincoln rubbed his chin, "Wishes? Well, that sounds like it could go wrong easily, we should-"

Lucy took the skull from Lincoln, "I wish I were a vampire!"

"Lucy, no!"

The "9" on Thromnambular's brow turned into an "8" and his rubies shined again, "So you wish to become a creature of the night? You will be granted bat-like wings and a dreadful bite!"

Lucy's body suddenly changed, her ears got bigger and hairier, her teeth grew several fangs, and a pair of black bat-like wings burst out of her back. Throughout it all, Lucy was completely still, "That was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Lincoln, how do I look?"

Lincoln's jaw was wide open and his pupils turned into scribbles.

"I see, I'll have to check for myself." With that, Lucy ran upstairs with supernatural speed to the bathroom and looked into the mirror where she only saw Thromnambular's reflection.

"See for yourself, a reflection you lack! You aren't able to see your fangs, nor your wings that are black!"

Lucy was still for a moment, "Best. Wish. Ever! I got exactly what I wanted with zero...oh...wait, I suddenly feel sleepy...wait, bats and vampires are nocturnal." Lucy set Thromnambular in the sink and went into her room where her coffin-bed sat waiting for her. Resting until sunset.

Meanwhile, Lincoln snapped out of his shock and went upstairs and found Grim in the living room wearing a grey hoodie and sweatpants watching the news on TV.

"Authorities are on the scene where a body was found buried beneath a mountain of cereal."

"What we got here is a basic cereal killer." Said a cop that started eating some of the cereal.

"Sir! Stop eating the evidence!" called a voice from offscreen.

"But it tastes so good!"

"Grim!" Lincoln yelled as he stumbled in, "We got a problem!"

"I know, you be interrupting me show." Grim snided.

"No Grim! There's this magic wishing skull and-"

Grim got off the couch, "Wait! Oh no! I left Thromnambular in me pocket! Did you find him?"

Lincoln nodded, "Yeah, and Lucy made a wish with him!"

"That's bad, wishes tend to be twisted back on the wisher."

"That's what I tried to say! Lucy made a wish to be a vampire and she turned into one!"

"Uh, what kind? There are several kinds of vampires."

"She didn't specify."

"And where is she and the skull now?"

"Uh..."

Leni

Leni walked into the bathroom, "Time to do my daily hair brushing!" she stopped when she noticed Thromnambular in the sink, "Ooh! You got pretty eyes!"

If Thromnambular could blush, he would, "Why, that's very kind of you to say! How about I grant you a wish in repay?"

Leni raised her brow in confusion, "What was that?"

Thromnambular cleared his lack of throat, "I'm saying I'll grant you a wish! Anything you want, name your dish!"

"Um...sorry Mr. Skull, but I can't understand your accent."

Thromnambular floated and glared at Leni, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Is your brain the size of a flea?"

Leni frowned in frustration, "Oh, I wish you would stop rhyming! I can barely understand you!"

The "8" on Thromnambular's brow became a "7" and he started to laugh, "AHAHAHAHAH! THANK GOODNESS! You have NO IDEA how hard it is to keep coming up with the rhymes!"

Saves me a lot of time too.

Leni smiled, "It sounds hard, Mr. Skull. Now, what were you saying?"

"Eh, nothing you need to worry about! Have a nice day, and good luck with your brain." with that, Thromnambular floated out of the bathroom.

Leni shrugged and got out her hairbrush, "He seemed nice!"

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Grim were in Lucy's room, finding her asleep in her coffin-bed.

"See, she looks nothing like Dracula." Lincoln pointed out.

"Seems Lucy got turned into a less evolved version of a vampire. Probably one Thromnambular is more familiar with." Grim surmised.

"You're kidding me! What is that skull's deal anyway? Where did it come from?"

"I first noticed Thromnambular sometime between seven and two-thousand years before the current era. I was way more busy back then, and the time just kept slipping. He was banished to Earth from the plane beyond Time and Space and was a hit with the Mayans, granting any wish but there be always a catch and he could only grant one-thousand wishes."

"Wait...so that's what the number on his head means? It's a countdown?"

"Very perceptive, mon."

"What happens when it hits zero?"

Grim shrugged, "Well, he gets his freedom. He was exiled on Earth for reasons even I am not aware of, imprisoned here until he's granted his one-thousand wishes."

"Okay...so why do you have him?"

Grim motioned towards Lucy, "As you can see, wishes are dangerous. Last time Thromnambular was out of my possession, someone wished for Archduke Ferdinand dead and THAT gave me too much work to do for decades!"

Lincoln then realized something: "...and now it's loose in a house filled with my selfish sisters."

Luna

Luna was in her and Luan's room on her laptop frowning. Looking at the Top 100 Singles chart and noticing that she and her band were once again, not on it. Luna grumbled to herself, "This is bollocks. We worked so hard and spent so much dough on getting a single out and we get beat by junk everyone has heard before! Either some sad song about being mistreated by family or some garbage noise about having sex with everyone in sight!"

Getting a bit too real there, Luna.

"I feel that you can't get no satisfaction."

Luna looked up from the laptop to see Thromnambular floating in the hallway, looking in at her. "Woah, a talking, floating skull!" she said.

"Amazing isn't it? And that's not all, I can grant you any single wish! Got anything in mind?"

Luna smiled and showed Thromnambular the chart on her laptop, "I wish the single the Moon Goats just released was at the top of this chart, dude!"

Theomnambular's "7" became a "6", "Rig the music charts? Sure, they do that all the time!"

Just then, the song Luna and her band put out hit the top of the Top 100 Singles chart. Suddenly, there were a lot of notifications on Luna's phone, and a couple of news vans showed up at the house.

Katherine Mulligan and her cameraman got out of their van first, "This is Katherine Mulligan reporting at the home of the infamous Loud family, but this time to interview indie rock sensation Luna Loud as her band's new song: "Ram me to the Moon" has become the number one song in America!"

Luna beamed with joy and ran out of the house, "'Ello, 'ello, luv!" Luna greeted.

Katherine got next to Luna, "Miss Loud, how about a scoop? What do you have to say about all the rumors around your hit single's instant success?"

Luna's smile dropped, "Whoa, wait, hold on, what rumors?"

"Well, the out-of-nowhere smash success brought up a ton of rumors online! One where you bribed your way to the top, or one where you blackmailed the website owners hosting the listings, it is odd that suddenly everyone is hearing about-"

Luna frowned, "Wha- wot the bloody hell are ya talkin' mate?"

Katherine gasped, "Such foul language! Is this what we can expect from a rising star who barely got their fifteen minutes of fame?"

"Hey! Hold on! Don't you go clippin' that you daft cun-"

Soon enough, Luna was canceled online by the court of public opinion and her rock and roll career was over.

Luan

While Luna was busy destroying her career, Luan walked into her room while carrying Mr. Coconuts, "So, in conclusion, I'm pretty sure they only put me in solitary confinement because I supported the orangutan." said the doll.

Luan groaned, "C'mon Mr. Coconuts, you can't keep blaming everything on the orangutan."

"Why not? Everyone else does and I refuse to be the bigger doll!"

Luan frowned at him, "It's not about being the bigger doll! Everyone's sick of that song and dance, even me!"

"Well, if it's something new that you desire..." spoke Thromnambular, "Allow me to shake up the status quo."

Luan looked the skull over and chortled a bit, "What's up with you? Quit while you were a head?"

"Joke all you like, but I can tell you lust for power. You have a thirst so strong that you would cross any line to quench it! All you need to do is declare your wish!"

Luan stopped laughing, "Oh, well in that case..." Luan then turned towards me and glared with a frown, "I wish Mr. Dusk would write that spinoff about me trying to take over the world."

Ha! Yeah, no, it's a fun idea and all, but writing it is more a chore than anything.

Thromnambular shook his head, "Yeah, not even I can grant that wish."

Luan sighed and turned back to the skull, "Fine, then just make me the ABSOLUTE RULER of Earth!"

Thromnambular's "6" became a "5", "That I can do! Far more easier!"

There was a bright flash of light, and when it faded Luan found herself sitting on a black throne wearing a yellow and black jester outfit and a yellow mask. She was surrounded by minions in clown costumes. She was approached by Benny who had a clipboard, "Woah Luan! You won't believe this, but it looks like Greenland finally caved and accepted you as Absolute Ruler of Earth. That's the last country on the list!"

Luan smiled, "Great! Nothing can stop me now! Nothing!"

Five Minutes Later...

Katherine Mulligan was reporting on the current situation, she squinted her eyes at the teleprompter, "This is Katherine Mulligan reporting that resident menace to society Luan Loud has been arrested for attempting to...dominate the world? Really? Is this just another joke?"

Cod Commando popped up, "Blah, blah, blah!" He told her.

Katherine was unfazed with the fish babbling at her, "Oh. Well, it seems she was apprehended. And we are informed she will be treated as humane as any world dictator!"

Meanwhile in an undisclosed location, Luan was tied up by the legs to the ceiling and next to her was a large muscular man in an black leather mask wielding a massive wooden paddle.

"Isn't this cruel and unusual punishment?" Luan asked, rather deadpan.

The masked man patted the paddle in his hand, "Oh, I love it when they say that..."

...

Lincoln and Grim finally entered Luna and Luan's room to find Luna in tears. "It reeks of bad decisions and broken dreams, Thromnambular must have been in here!" Grim surmised.

"Luna? What's wrong?" Lincoln asked.

Luna sniffled, "I got canceled, bro! Just when the Moon Goats finally made it big! Now I need to wait until the next scandal to make a comeback!"

Grim furrowed his brow, "Oh yeah, she definitely made a wish."

"Shut up, bonehead!" Luna yelled before going back to her crying.

Lincoln darted his head around, "Okay, so, maybe he's in here? Let's get searching!"

Little did they know, Thromnambular had fallen out the window into bushes in the backyard where he now lay.

Thromnambular turned towards you, the readers, "Four wishes down, five more to go. Leave a review, perhaps yours will be granted!"

...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I meant for this to be finished and posted sooner but the holidays got in the way, and I got sick, so think of this as a late Christmas gift. It feels so refreshing to get a fun chapter up in a few weeks and not stress over one for a couple of months!

Hopefully the second half of this two-parter will be complete midway through January. See you all in 2024!

-Mr Dusk