CHAPTER 4

"Hadn't heard from you in a bit. Thought I'd check in."

Nick wished he could say he felt bad, but really - he'd cut himself off from everyone. To say the least, the news he'd received had hit him like a freight train he hadn't been prepared for. Though the presence of Bumblebee that afternoon was admittedly comforting.

The teen set his bag down on the bed and looked at Bumblebee. "Yeah, sorry... I've been going through some stuff," Nick admitted. "It's been a rough month."

Bumblebee nodded his head. "Yeah, I uh... Ironhide told me," Nick flinched. "I'm so sorry about your uncle. Slag, I'm not sure what else to say."

Nick thought that made two of them. He was mad, sad, frustrated, and heartbroken all in one after all. He sat down on the edge of his bed and decided to just say what was on his mind: "It just hurts," he admitted. "I could have accepted he just didn't want me... But getting all of that in one go."

Bumblebee nodded, he crossed his arms. "I'm sorry, if you want to be alone I can go," he admitted. "I was just worried is all."

Nick was surprised he found that he didn't want Bumblebee to go. On one hand, he was struggling, but on the other he felt like he needed him there. "You know, this is why this program exists," Bumblebee pulled him from his thoughts. "We always felt like humans weren't... Well, that family wasn't as important to you as it should be."

Nick was silent. "It was even worse before we got here. The foster care system was even more broken," Bumblebee took a seat. "Before that you had orphanages that were just... Bad. It was like you either were born into a great family, or you were on your own..."

Nick closed his eyes. "And you guys cared more..."

Bumblebee looked as though he wasn't sure he should say anything. But instead, he decided to do just that. "My whole generation was wiped out. Early in the war," Nick's eyes widened. "The Decepticons deliberately attacked the places we were taken for our safety. They wiped out entire generations of families..."

Nick felt his stomach drop. They didn't teach that when talking about the Great War in school. But somehow, it made sense why Bumblebee seemed to be so young - why the Autobots had such age gaps. "I'm so sorry..."

The mech shook his head. "That's why they took it so seriously. Your families may not want you but we do," Bumblebee explained. His voice soft. "The kids in this program go to families who lost someone. Who want to rebuild. To have a legacy..."

Nick understood, a little too well. Of course the Autobots wanted to help the kids that were "forgotten". After all, he couldn't imagine how much it hurt them to see kids like him cast aside. Treated without care... How some of them probably would have given anything to have their kids back. It was a dark thought, but he definitely could see his side of things.

"Does every kid get adopted?" Nick asked.

"Every single one that enters the program. Believe me, Ironhide brags about it," Nick gave a small ghost of a smile to Bumblebee. "And there's no aging out either. That old coot will keep searching for you until you're on your death bed. If he doesn't adopt you himself. He and his mate, Chromia, have like six kids through the program."

Nick had to give a small giggle in response. Something that seemed to brighten Bumblebee's optics just a bit. Still, he could feel his nerves a little. What if he was the first one? What if his family had abandoned him because he just wasn't good enough? So many what if's still clouded every inch of his mind.

"Thanks Bee, I think I just need time," Nick managed. "This all happened so fast... I don't know what to think anymore."

Bumblebee looked thoughtfully, but finally nodded. Then to Nick's surprise, he reached over toward his form on the bed and gently rubbed his back. Belittling his strength with one large finger. "Well, until you figure it out. At least you have friends," He explained. "Including me. I'm never going to leave you alone."

Nick wished he believed that promise, but it was becoming increasingly hard. Still he nodded his head. "Thanks for coming to check on me," Nick admitted. "I really didn't want you to see me like this... I look like such a whiny baby."

"You're hurting, it's ok to hurt," Bumblebee replied. "Trust me, I know..."

Nick had a feeling there was truth in those words from the way Bumblebee spoke. But he didn't pry - that wasn't his business. Still he let Bumblebee sit there even though their conversation had ended. Feeling as though his presence at least brought him some comfort.

It wouldn't make his wish happen though. Wouldn't make him wake up and find this was all a bad dream. But at least it made him feel a tiny bit better...

"Ironhide, you're nuts."

Bumblebee felt a little bad saying that as he'd been called in to the den to talk to Ironhide before leaving. But honestly, the mech was certifiably insane if he was actually serious about what he just said. "And why is that? You clearly like the boy!" Bumblebee's optics shifted away. "Yer acting like I didn't just catch a glance at you watching him sleep."

Sure he had been. He'd comforted Nick to the best of his ability until the kid had gone into a recharge cycle. A nap. But that was different than what Ironhide was suggesting. "Ironhide, I'm barely thirty vorns old. I'm practically a kid myself," He told him, not wanting to shout to loudly but speaking sharply. "I don't know the first fragging thing about being a dad."

"You're acting like we're talking about a sparkling in his first frame," Ironhide noted as he crossed his arms. "Nick's fourteen. If anything you've passed the hardest parts. You get the fun years."

The scout looked down as he said it. Honestly Ironhide was probably right. At one point, he might have argued he was mentoring the Terrans. But now that they were out and about, with GHOST no longer a threat... His life had opened up a considerable amount. He mostly stayed with the Malto's given they were like family these days - and less because of a job.

But still... "Look, I know you ain't thought much about it... Because yer young. And before you met Prime and Elita ye didn't have much of a family," Thanks Ironhide. Bumblebee scoffed a little. "But I'm telling ye. Adopting my litter was the best thing Chromia and I ever did. They've helped us heal so much - we've all healed together."

Bumblebee leaned against the wall, his optics peering out the window. What did he even know about being a dad? Optimus had taught him a lot, but Ironhide said it best. He hadn't had much of a childhood. He'd come to join the Autobot faction at the Cybertronian equivalent of eighteen. And sure, Optimus and Elita had adopted him - made the bond with him and made him their sparkling...

But they hadn't been around for the major formative years.

If he adopted Nick he'd share a bond with him, they'd be joined in so many different ways. He'd be there for a lot of firsts, he'd have to navigate so many hurdles... Frankly, the thought scared him.

"Why are you insisting on it so much?" He finally asked. "There are probably a million families you're looking at that would be better -."

"Because he trusts you!"

Bumblebee was surprised by that statement. Venting, Ironhide looked the younger mech in the optics with a firm stare. "He won't talk to Blitz, won't talk to me. But you walk in the door and he opened right up," Bumblebee felt his doorwings sag a little. "He probably won't say it. But he feels connected to you. And you must feel the same way or you wouldn't be here checking on him..."

Primus. Why did Ironhide have to point that out? Taking a deep breath, Bee finally spoke up. "And how do we know we're compatible? What if he comes to live with me and it goes sour?" Ironhide raised an optic ridge. "I don't want to hurt him..."

"Bee this doesn't happen overnight. You'd go to classes, and have visits. You'd get to know each other slowly," Ironhide explained. "You wouldn't be living together for at least a month with where you're at now."

Bumblebee rubbed his neck. "That seems awful fast. I thought foster care took longer?"

Ironhide shook his head. "We don't work through human foster care, kid. It's just like back home. We find a good match, test it out. And get the kids placed as soon as possible," He explained. "The actual adoption takes a bit longer. It's January, so you'd be probably looking at Christmas for his actual adoption. We don't rush that - mistakes do happen."

Bumblebee was silent, but understood where he was coming from. It seemed like they had it figured out, but... "So we're not like, left to our own devices after a month?" He asked. "If I do this, you guys still check in... Because I'm just... Frag, Ironhide. I'm more scared of screwing it up than anything."

Ironhide placed a hand upon his shoulder gently, nodding his head. "It's ok to be scared. But you'll have friends and resources, if it's a mistake we can pull out at any time," Bumblebee nodded his head. "But ye don't need to make a decision today. Go home, talk to Dot and Alex about it. It's their place after all."

Right. That should be an interesting talk - if he even decided to have one. Bumblebee figured. "Just... Don't say anything to him. Please," Bumblebee insisted. "This is something I need to search my spark about on my own first."

Ironhide nodded. "Don't worry, this'll stay between us. And I'll keep looking at other candidates," He explained. "Just don't take too long, OK? He starts meeting candidates next week."

Bumblebee gave a small nod and stepped out of his office. Was he losing his fragging processor? He couldn't be a dad! He was Bumblebee. He was always "the kid" of the group. How could he teach a kid anything besides how to get into trouble, or how to win a street race?

But then he thought again about the look on Nick's face that day. He thought again about how being around the teen made him feel... He couldn't argue that there wasn't something pulling him toward the teenager. Something he genuinely hadn't felt before in his life...

This decision would inevitably be one of the hardest he'd ever have to make.

THE FUTURE

"So wait, you didn't even want to be his daddy at first?"

Bumblebee looked at Optimus with a slight frown, though he peered back up at Beetle. The younger mech looked like he was trying to find the right words to explain his father's thought process. But Bumblebee thankfully had an answer.

"I knew that your father was my son the moment I saw him. I was just stubborn," Bumblebee noted as he leaned on his cane. "I was a spry young Bot and had lived a bachelor life for a long time. I didn't even think I wanted kids until I nearly ran him down."

Beetle chuckled, bouncing Primal on one knee as he did. He has heard that answer before, after all, so it was no surprise to him. "Adopting a kid is a big deal guys. Just as big as having sparklings," He looked at Cheetor with a smile. "Heck, I wasn't even sure I was ready for parenthood when your brother showed up."

Cheetor gave a big cheeky grin. "And then I made you have to be a dad!" He joked teasingly. "You told me that before."

Beetle sighed a bit. "I do know that I wanted grandpa around. But honestly? I still don't know what was going through my mind," He explained. "I was really sad back then... And angry."

Optimus peered up at them. "So what made you decide, Grandpa? If you weren't sure..."

Bumblebee got a bit of a smile at that. "Well, she's long gone now, but you guys don't know how my old friend Dot could be..."

And he'd continue from there.