Summer is slowly coming to an end, but Alluka's rehabilitation continues. Alluka submits to it with zeal and practices many hours every day. She has regained mobility in her legs, but there are some problems with her right arm – still, she has no doubt that it will heal soon, too.

Eventually, she is moved from the previous patient room to the rehabilitation pavilion. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a view of the mountains, but there is a wonderful garden right next to it, instead.

During these weeks, the hospital staff become a group of familiar people, and all Alluka receives from them is positive approach. The nurses are extremely nice and take the best care of her. One gave her a hair ribbon, another gave her fluffy slippers with bunnies on them, and yet another taught her how to knit, which is great rehabilitation in itself. From one of the physiotherapists, she received a keychain with a mountain with a weather station on the top – one of the peaks she conquered. The younger doctor praises her for her courage, admitting that, himself, he is terribly afraid of mountains. The elder one seems stern, but Alluka can see him smiling sometimes during her tales of mountain hikes.

"So you want to go back there? Despite this accident?"

"Of course! I still have many peaks left to visit."

"Aren't you afraid of the thunderstorm?"

"Hmm... I think I'm going to check the weather forecast more carefully before going out."

Another reason why Alluka wants to regain full fitness is so that Oniichan doesn't worry. Oniichan thinks her accident is his fault…

In fact, he seems to have forgotten about it – apparently, thoughts of Gon are occupying him fully. This pleases Alluka, although she realizes that these thoughts are not entirely positive. She doesn't quite understand it, because Gon seems to be a very good person... At some point, something must have gone wrong in their relationship.

"Is there anyone here I can talk to… about emotions?" she asks the nurse one day.

"Do you mean the psychologist?"

Alluka nods. The nurse promises to order a consultation. Alluka feels a little guilty because it's not her emotions she wants to talk about... However, she doesn't take up too much of their time. After a few days, she has read some books from the library of the psychiatric ward and she feels a bit wiser.

"You want to become a psychiatrist?" Oniichan asks, seeing them on the table.

"Who knows."

Killua realises that he isn't giving Alluka enough time. Frankly speaking, Alluka seems to be doing just fine without him – Killua knows from experience that his sister can find herself things to do – so he doesn't feel too guilty, but it shouldn't be like that anyway.

Ever since Alluka asked about Gon, Killua hasn't been able to stop thinking about him. He knew it would be like this – that's why he completely 'forgot' about Gon a year ago. There's no chance of that now, because when Alluka 'reminded' him of Gon, not only the memories came back, but also all the emotions and feelings, and Killua doesn't know what to do with them.

He blames himself for having run away from everything. If he had processed it properly a year ago, he wouldn't have a problem now... But he knows that such thinking is pointless. Just as is the desire that he would like to cut off his own head...

The longer he reflects on the fact that, with his own hands, he destroyed the most valuable thing in his life, the more he realises how much Gon's friendship meant to him. He also realises that he never really told Gon how important he was to him. He kept all his feelings to himself and never put them into words – at most, he admitted them in his own head, and even then not fully. Yes, in his head, he monologued, commenting on events, reactions and Gon's behaviour, but he kept quiet about it out loud. Maybe he didn't know how to talk about it – but it's more likely that he didn't have the courage to.

Maybe at the beginning... maybe back then he was still able to admit that he felt good in Gon's company. Later, however, the more time they spent together, the more he preferred to let his actions speak for him. It was always Gon who declared that he was happy with him, that he needed him, that he thanked him for his help. And he proved it time and time again, no matter how many stupid things Killua committed – things that for someone else would certainly be enough of a reason to end the friendship.

When Killua ran away from home, he didn't think about friendship. He just wanted to experience the world and was open to everything it could offer him. At that stage, he didn't think he deserved friendship. Earlier, when he was young enough – and he probably didn't fully understand it yet – he tried hard to get it, although the only choice he had were servants (who, of course, could not respond to his desires, although he understood this only later). As far as he could tell, none of his brothers had such needs… or they hid it very well.

…No, it's certain that Illumi didn't want to be friends with anyone. That psychopath doesn't even understand what friendship is – or any feelings, to begin with.

So when Killua took the Hunter exam, he only thought about testing his skills, maybe get some training and, above all, doing something different from what he had been doing before. And then, on the very first day, he found himself next to Gon Freecss – the boy of his age – and when he met his honest and open gaze, the world would never be the same again.

"Tell me again how it was when you met Gon for the first time," Alluka asks.

"I was surprised that there was someone my age there."

"Why were you surprised?"

"I thought the Hunter exam wasn't for kids."

"But you were a kid too…!"

"How to say it… Twelve years with the Zoldycks is like twenty years with normal people."

"And yet Gon was there."

"His dad became a Hunter at that age, so Gon wanted to live up to him. His motivation was to meet him someday. He thought that as a Hunter he had a better chance of finding him."

"Hmm… Okay. So what? You talked to him? Just like that?"

"Just like that. You know... I got in competition mode. Since the first stage was a test of endurance, I wanted to see which of us was better. And so we ran for several dozen kilometres together."

"And then?"

"And then... we did everything together."

"Were you competing all the time?"

"I guess not... And even if we did, it was a nice competition."

"And then? Gon passed the exam even though he was twelve years old. He proved to be not such a normal person."

"I know he's not an ordinary person. Although sometimes he is so incredibly naive that you have to keep an eye on him, because he can get into trouble several times a day. He just looks ahead, doesn't think much, doesn't consider eventualities. At least not when there is no need. He does his choices completely instinctively. But in some situations he can be very observant and make an effort to find a solution. Like the situation with Hisoka…"

"With Hisoka? Oh, that's the... what did you call him... Maniac? Freak?"

"Don't even say. He's completely obsessed with Gon. I don't know if he wants to kill him or if he loves him. I guess it's both, which is really scary."

"Hmm… So you have a rival…?"

"What?"

Maybe it could have been anyone, maybe any twelve-year-old would have caught his attention at that exam. Or maybe it would have been enough that someone showed interest in him – not even then, but any time, any place... But Killua doesn't believe it. He cannot imagine that there could be someone like Gon Freecss in the world, and he knows that only Gon Freecss was capable of becoming friends with Killua Zoldyck.

Each day of the exam, Gon surprised Killua with something new. He was so different, so unlike Killua. He was the same age, but he perceived the world completely differently and lived according to completely different rules. He was naive and gullible, polite and friendly. He didn't know tricks, he didn't know about very many things. He couldn't count and had poor emotional control. He was everything Killua wouldn't want to be…

But not quite – because Gon was also strong, determined and, above all, brave. When he decided on something, he took a straight path to his goal – and if it wasn't possible, he built that path himself. And he never got tired of improving himself and practicing his skills. This, they had in common – and it laid the foundations for their friendship.

At first, Killua just observed, but soon he learned to appreciate it. Because even if some character traits were alien to him, and some behaviours were completely unattainable, and often annoying, too, he still respected them – and he respected Gon for being able to live differently than him: in greater harmony with the world and people. Gon very quickly – faster than Killua noticed – became someone Killua admired.

But that came later. The turning point – the moment Killua decided to try... no, rather, test his new companion – was the evening they travelled to the site of the Third Phase of the exam. Then Killua told Gon about his family and Gon... just accepted it. Killua then felt relief but also some respect and a shy hope that maybe even someone like him could meet someone who would like him.

Illumi's appearance ruined everything – at least in Killua's mind. His messed up brother had almost managed to convince him that Killua had no hope for friendship. Now Killua knows it was the damn needle he later managed to rip out of his brain to blame, but then he really broke down. The words, 'I want to be friends with Gon,' became just an empty wish, without any hope of fulfilment.

What Gon did next, Killua could never properly evaluate because he was unable to think about it rationally. Gon simply stormed in Kukuroo Mountain, telling everyone he was Killua's friend, and then took him away, convinced – he had believed it after meeting Illumi – that it was a bad place for him. If Killua had thought – feared – that his attachment was one-sided, he got the best proof of his mistake.

Not that he felt particularly bad about it.

He went out into the world with his friend, hoping that the time spent with Gon would make him a slightly better person.

"Then we trained and trained, and at the same time we took part in a fighting tournament. It was a lot of fun, and Gon managed to beat Hisoka."

"Hisoka? Him again?"

"After the exam, Gon had an unfinished business with him, but then he managed to settle the score."

"Actually… What does Gon think about him?"

"At first, he was probably scared of him… Every sane person should be, because Hisoka is a complete freak…"

"And then?"

"Then… Hmm…"

"Hmm…?"

"Knowing Gon, I wouldn't be surprised if he even got to like him."

"Ho ho."

"Why are we talking about Hisoka again?"

"He seems like a good comic relief. But that your Gon... It seems he's not very picky..."

"That's not the point, he just wants to like everyone... But I guess you're right. Although there are people he would never like."

"So there are worse freaks than Hisoka?"

"One is, regrettably, our eldest brother."

"Oh."

"Let's not talk about unpleasant things."

"Good point. Please continue."

"Where was I?"

"At a fighting tournament, I guess."

"It was great fun. And we both learned a lot. And then…"

"Oniichan…?"

Then there was another moment that redefined Killua's path. It was on Whale Island when they went to visit Gon's family. It was there that Gon said, 'Let's stay together. I'm happy when I'm with you,' and that was the first time Killua had heard such words. Even if what Gon had done at the Zoldyck's was a clear sign of his affection, to hear such a declaration… Killua could only reply, 'Me too,' and he would never come close to such sincerity again.

That incident – under the stars, when Killua could have the illusion of freedom – showed him that friendship can mean not only some general feeling or bond, but also a specific presence. Since then, Gon and him have become practically inseparable. And how wonderful it was!

It wasn't just about the fun they had doing everything together: training, fighting, running, playing, even being afraid. The point was that Gon's presence was a bit like a medicine that very, very slowly healed those twisted places in Killua, straightened out his distorted character traits and helped him think a little better about himself. Gon's presence was like a manifesto – it was a message that Killua couldn't be the worst man in the world. When you receive it every day, one day you will be able to believe it – but it takes many, many years; a year and a half is not nearly enough...

Killua knows that he did nothing to deserve Gon – Gon just happened to him... He was simply given to Killua without question of merit. And although he considers himself the most rational person in the world, in this situation he suspends his disbelief and for a moment – just for a moment – asks himself if their meeting was not fate. How else to explain the fact that someone as worthless as Killua Zoldyck gained the friendship of someone as special as Gon Freecss?

Everything that came after that – Yorknew City and Greed Island – was, on his part, proving he was worthy of Gon. Either way, when they decided not to split up on Whale Island, Killua seriously engaged in their friendship. He tried to believe that this was really happening and would continue to happen, which in his case meant that he would try to live at least one day without wondering when Gon would get fed up with him and when their relationship would end… without mulling over the fact how unmatched they were: one open and innocent, the other gloomy and with blood on his hands.

So Killua did everything he could do for Gon. He supported him and helped him in every possible way. He used his intellect to plan their next moves and figure out their opponents. He used his skills to keep the two of them safe. He supported Gon's decisions and acted on them. He always put Gon first, and the last thing he thought about was his own good or benefit – unless the benefit was to keep Gon's friendship.

Maybe he was just doing it to make Gon say, 'To have met you was a fortunate thing.'

Killua still doesn't know whether his main motivation in their friendship was pure and deep affection for Gon as a human being, or rather his own, selfish need to be accepted by Gon. Knowing him, it was more of the latter.

"You must have had fun playing that game…" Alluka says.

"Apart from the fact that game was real and we risked our lives, yes, we had indeed."

"And Hisoka was there too? You come across him quite often..."

"It's not my fault, neither is Gon's. That guy apparently has a way of getting to the most interesting events... Although he somehow missed the most important one."

"Still, Oniichan, you should be more careful."

"Of Hisoka? Believe me, I'm always extremely alert in his presence."

"No, you should be more careful of him in relation to Gon."

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Yes, I quite noticed it already... So, do you think it was worth playing that game? After all, Gon didn't manage to meet his father..."

"Sure it was worth playing it. It was a great adventure, and we had the opportunity to train under an amazing teacher. We became very strong. And we really had a good time there. Can you imagine that a person can be happy about losing and having to do more exercises as punishment? And we were so happy because thanks to it we could become even stronger. And, actually, we both did those exercises, regardless of who lost."

"Okay, but I don't like the way Gon treated you during that match... He knew he was hurting you, and yet he had you assist him in the attack... How long did it take for you to recover? A month?"

"No, Alluka, it was quite the opposite. Gon asked me for help because he trusted my skills. He said that he would only succeed with me... That with someone else he wouldn't be able to give his all and perform that attack well. Can't you see it? He said it couldn't be anyone but me. That he didn't want anyone else. Do you know how much that meant to me? Why should I care about any physical injury when told that? And my hands healed without a problem anyway."

"So, would you do the same in his place? Would you knowingly expose him to harm?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"There's no need. It's enough that I alone risk the damage."

"I see."

If they hadn't participated in Greed Island, they probably wouldn't have ended up in the Chimera Ant War. Killua isn't sure if it wouldn't be better this way. It was during that war that things started to go wrong between Gon and him, which ultimately led to their separation. If it weren't for the war with the ants, maybe they would still be spending time together, training, going on great adventures – and everything would be fine.

Or maybe not.

It's more likely that Killua would cause a rift between them sooner or later anyway. His behaviour, maybe his character, would alienate Gon. And although he still cannot understand where he made a mistake, he is sure he made it. Was it when he stopped Gon from attacking Neferpitou and forced him to flee? After that, nothing was the same again. And although Gon thanked him for his decision, something had changed between them. That event marked the beginning of Gon's transformation, which did not end tragically only thanks to Alluka's help.

It was then that Killua realised that what he'd been afraid of was really happening: Gon had set him aside and removed him from his fight. They were still training together, they were still planning their next actions, but when it came to the final battle with the hated enemy, Killua ceased to exist for Gon.

And it didn't matter that Killua had been preparing for this for a long time – in the end, it hurt more than he'd expected.

Back then, during that fight that had happened over a year ago, he believed that Gon had treated him unfairly. Killua gave his all to be able to help him in any situation. He took it upon himself to attract the enemy's attention to protect Gon – and at the cost of being seriously wounded, too He took on all the wet work so Gon wouldn't have to get his hands dirty. Overcoming his limitations, he fought Illumi – limitations that would one day cause him to abandon his friend to his death, or even bring him to death himself; so both Illumi and Bisky claimed. He got rid of that damn needle that had controlled his emotions for who knows how many years, and regained control of his fear and courage. He knew – it was his dogma – that for Gon he wouldn't hesitate to risk his life.

However, Gon didn't appreciate it. He focused on his goal, on his fight – and forgot about Killua completely. As if they hadn't spent over a year together, fighting, training and often playing with death. Killua tried to tell himself that it wasn't his fault – that events had led to this; that Gon felt responsible for Kite's harm; that he wanted to end everything alone; that everyone should concentrate on their task – but no amount of rationalization could drive away the uncertainty.

And that was enough for Killua to lose faith in their friendship. He was constantly doubting and fearing the end, so it didn't take much for him to convince himself that to Gon he was just a team-mate and that when the fight was over, they would simply go their separate ways because they would no longer have anything in common.

And just when he realised that he wanted to stay with him forever.

"Why don't you tell me more about the fight with the ants?" Alluka asks.

"Because it was horrible. I think you'll be happier without this knowledge."

"But were they really ants?"

"It was a type of ant that could evolve and take on the characteristics of other species."

"Humans too?"

"Humans too. It was the worst."

"I see."

"Okay, maybe the best, too. Both, I think."

"Why?"

"Because just as every man is different, they were also different from each other. There were hideous, repulsive monsters among them, but there were also honorable beings, capable of sacrifice and friendship, who differed from humans only in their peculiar appearance. I met at least two who helped us by putting their lives on the line. I also witnessed how an animal can become a human in a very short time."

"Tell me about it, please. This can't be horrible."

"There was that Neferpitou. When we first met, she was a complete monster who murdered people without hesitation. She was terribly strong… one of the strongest creatures I'd ever faced in combat. There was nothing human about her, even though she walked on two legs and spoke a human language. But when we met her again, just over a month later, she was someone who was willing to risk her life to save... not even one of her own, but a human."

"So their ability to evolve did not manifest itself only in next generations, but was also possible in each of them?"

"Yes."

"What happened to them?"

"Those who survived… in whom humanity prevailed, are under the protection of the Hunters Association."

"That's good. But I understand that it was indeed a difficult time for you. While funny things have happened to you before, this time there is no point in asking about them."

"No. Maybe it's because Hisoka, whom you consider the main comic relief, wasn't there."

Killua had seen how an animal became a human... But he had also seen how a human became a monster, and that was truly terrifying.

He had known for a long time that Gon had trouble controlling his emotions – he was easily angered, easily turned cheerful – but he had no idea that hatred could take over him to such an extent that he would reject himself in order to destroy his enemy.

Perhaps nothing in his life shocked Killua more than Gon's transformation, that even now he cannot think about with calmness. He was shocked, terrified, lost, and completely helpless as Gon massacred Pitou out of pure hatred. To see his friend – someone who was a light to him – changed beyond recognition... He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

He couldn't do anything then. He could only call out his name – and feel some spark of joy amidst all the nightmare that Gon responded to it – but that was all. He couldn't join the fight, he couldn't help Gon, he couldn't stop him... Back then, for one moment, he thought to himself that Gon was right to push him away – Killua would be of no use to him.

Later, most of all, he blamed himself for not having gone with Gon – for having left him alone to fight Pitou. Sure, he respected his wishes, but maybe – maybe – if he had been there when Gon found out about Kite's death, then things would have been different. He shouldn't have left him – even though he felt helpless, pushed away, hurt. Gon once said, 'I'm the crazy one. You're supposed to be calm and keep me in check.' Killua should have remembered that… should have remembered the year and a half they had spent together, and not been guided by the single comment Gon made to him and thus pushed him out of his fight. He shouldn't have left his side – and the only thing left for him was to clean up afterward.

Killua knows he will never forget the despair he felt as he watched his only friend go from a kind-hearted, honest kid whom even his enemies liked, to a terrifying monster. How Gon, who was his light, fell into darkness – if only for a moment. Was Killua disappointed? At least a bit, yes, even though he had no right to do so – he, the son of a family of killers, who had the blood of many people on his hands. But it was still Gon, and even then it never occurred to Killua to abandon him.

When he wanted to restore Gon's health, he also wanted the return of that Gon who had become so close to him: cheerful, honest, sometimes terribly naïve, but also determined, always ready for hard training and not shying away from challenges. Thanks to Alluka, he succeeded – but it turned out that he didn't do it for himself, because what followed their reunion was a breakup.

Now that a year has passed in which they have not only been out of contact – Killua has completely removed Gon from his thoughts – it seems that those events no longer matter, they became a thing of the past. Gon became a thing of the past. Killua made a decision, and although in hindsight he doesn't know whether it was right, now he has no choice but to accept its consequences.

"Are you mad that I asked you about Gon?" Alluka asks.

Oniichan shrugs and shakes his head. "I'm not mad. It helped me sort things out a bit."

"Talking about him didn't displease you… right?"

"It didn't. After all, Gon is… he was my friend. Thanks to him, I experienced many good things."

"I could feel it in your story. I haven't seen you so happy and lively before."

Oniichan is silent for a long moment. "I haven't thought about him all year," he finally admits, looking off into space.

"Is it my fault?" Alluka asks and immediately catches his eye.

"Of course not! How did you come to that? You don't think so, do you?" Oniichan smiles, though Alluka can tell that smile is three-quarters genuine and one-quarter sad.

He nods, and they sit in silence again for a while. Flowers sway outside the window, touched by a light gust of wind. The air is fragrant, and the sky is azure. For the second time, Alluka comes to the conclusion that summer is the most beautiful time of the year – but she's afraid that it is only for her.

"Oniichan…"

"Hmm?"

"What are you going to do now?"

"What am I going to do about what? We're going to do what we've done so far."

Alluka stares at him seriously, fighting with herself, and finally decides to give him more time. She can't think for him.

"Oniichan… I just want you to be happy," she says and receives a completely lost look in response. But before Oniichan says something he doesn't really mean, she continues, "Changing the subject... I'll be discharged at the end of the week."

"That's a great news!"

"So get ready for your birthday party."

Alluka has made a full recovery, and that's the proper reason to celebrate – not some birthday that Killua doesn't care about at all. Alluka prepares a feast – she happily returns to cooking after a long break – including the promised chocolate cake, she also gives him a knitted scarf. After eating, they go for a walk to the S valley, the first they visited when summer was just beginning.

"When will we go to the mountains?" Alluka asks as they sit down in a familiar clearing to quench their thirst.

"Do you really want to go to the mountains again?"

"Sure I do. We'll just have to double-check the forecast. That's what I told the doctor anyway. One accident is enough for me."

"I will never let you get hurt again," Killua declares.

"Come on... Apparently it was something I had to experience," Alluka says lightly. "And the hospitalisation itself was really pleasant, and I liked it there. Everyone was so nice and worked together to help me get better. I think I'll be visiting them."

"Would you like to stay here longer?"

"I would. If possible."

Killua nods. After all, they're in no hurry.

Alluka beams. "We will go hiking when the weather is nice. And on other days I will visit the hospital. You know, Oniichan... I asked the doctor if I could sometimes watch him work, and he said sure. I'm sorry, I did it without your consent."

Killua looks at her in surprise, but in the end he doesn't mind. If Alluka is so interested in it, why not?

When they return to the house, where Killua has only been sleeping for the last month, Alluka stands at the window for a long time and looks at the mountains bathed in the light of the setting sun. It is peaceful, although Killua inwardly wonders at Alluka's courage, or maybe he curses her lack of fear – he's not sure. Whatever it is, he's never going to put her in harm's way again.

Finally, Alluka turns away from the view and looks at him. Her gaze is serious and thoughtful. She clasps her hands together and squeezes her fingers lightly – a sign that she is not completely calm or is anxious about what she's going to say. Killua prepares for another revelation, but not enough.

"Oniichan, I've been thinking a lot about what we talked about... that is, about you and Gon," she says in a quiet voice, and Killua's heart beats faster. "I think… No, I'm absolutely sure of it. Oniichan, you should meet with him again."

I couldn't say anything more!I just couldn't!

Nanika feels Alluka's heated emotions, and it is a pleasant sensation.

But it may be that I still haven't said enough.Oniichan is the smartest man in the world, but sometimes he can't see the simplest things.He just doesn't understand!

Killua doesn't understand?

Nothing!

I doesn't understand either.

But I understand.

You are smart. Killua is smart.

I also hope that maybe he will be able to put two and two together.He's obviously been thinking about all this lately.I saw it when we talked.Oniichan is not stupid, even if it takes him a long time to understand some things.

Long, short… It's no difference.

Maybe not... but I'd like him to realize what is best for him.The sooner the better.But apparently I have to be patient.

You are smart. You will wait.

I don't know if I'm that smart.I just want Oniichan to be happy.So that he wouldn't sacrifice his life for me.He and I can see each other whenever we want, but we don't have to be together all the time.

I want to be together with Killua.

He has his own life, he can't spend all his time with us.But he'll always care about us.

I want Killua.

He will visit us, but he cannot be with us always.He is a separate person.

I love Killua.

I love him too, but I don't want to keep him with me because that's not the point.But Nanika, remember that I will always be with you and will never leave you.You will never be alone.

Nanika and Alluka always together?

Nanika and Alluka always together.