Sonic staggered back as the green robot stepped toward him. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy groaned in pain from their spots on the ground. Sticks leapt up from behind for an attack, only for the bot to elbow her in the face.
Grabbing Sonic by the arm, the robot hoisted him up, reared an arm back, and-
Pause! Hey, guys, Sonic here. Now, I'm sure I can guess what you're all wondering: what's this new robot? Why's it giving our dashing hero so much trouble? And why are we doing that thing where we start partway through the action and then pause to guess what you're wondering? Well, to answer all that, we're gonna have to go back a bit.
Earlier that same day
Eggman looked like a man possessed. He was alternating between scribbling on a piece of paper with one hand and tinkering with a shadowy console with the other.
Cubot peeked into the room. "Is something up with the boss? I don't think I've ever seen him like this."
"He said he had a 'stroke of inspiration,'" Orbot explained. "We'd best not disturb him."
Eggman finished his writing and focused his attention on the console. After a few more adjustments, he stood up from it. "This is it. With this plan and my newest device, I dare say I'll finally claim victory over Sonic! Let's not waste a second! In fact, let's just cut to the next battle!"
Sonic spin dashed a Crab bot. "Man, someone's eager today," he commented. When Eggman didn't respond, he frowned. The blue hedgehog observed how his archenemy was simply hovering nearby and observing, like he was waiting for something. "Okay, getting a bad feeling here."
"How bad can it be?" Knuckles asked as he swatted a Bee bot. "This is going just the same as it always does."
"Yeah, don't go getting' paranoid on us," Sticks smiled.
"That is so freakishly hypocritical coming from you," Joe pointed out.
"Nobody asked you!" Sticks fired back.
As the heroes bantered back and forth, Eggman pressed some buttons on his pod, causing a surviving Crab bot to grab Sonic by the ankle. Next, some Bee bots fired an energy net at the blue hedgehog.
"I got it!" Joe moved to cut the net, only for a Mantis bot to stick its arm out and trip him up. This caused him to stumble in front of Sonic and get webbed up in his friend's place.
"And now to retreat!' Eggman began flying away with his new prey. Knowing Team Sonic wouldn't just stand there and let him get away with this, he stopped briefly and called out, "Orbot! Cubot! Distraction, now!"
The team looked to the side to see the red and yellow robots doing a dance with some sparklers. "You guys stink," Sticks commented when they were done.
"Hey, we worked hard on that routine!" Cubot protested.
Orbot put a hand on his companion's shoulder, "Cubot, the point wasn't to be good, now come on."
Remembering the more important matter at hand, the gang looked around to see that Eggman had gotten away.
Knuckles sank to his knees and dramatically wrang his hands in the air, "My protégéeeeeee!"
Sonic put a hand on his shoulder, "Dude, relax. We can just follow them to Eggman's base."
After flying to Eggman's base, the gang ran up to the main door. "Alright, Eggman, hand over Joe!" Sonic demanded. There was no answer. "Figures." He revved up his spin dash and busted the door down.
The gang charged in only to pause. Why? Because there was no resistance. No Badniks, no wall turrets, nothing to even try and slow them down.
"It's quiet. Too quiet," Sticks said, narrowing her eyes.
"That's because nothing's happening," Knuckles smiled. He patted the badger's head, "You gotta start reading the room, Sticks."
"Let's just get to the main control room," Tails suggested.
With another spin dash from Sonic, the team busted into said room in no time. Unfortunately, there was still no one to be found. The only thing worth noting was a tape recorder lying on the floor. Tails picked it up and played, revealing a message from Eggman.
"Nice try, suckers! For once, I'm not sticking around in the first place you'd look. You may not know where I am now, but trust me, I'll be back real soon!"
"So he's not here? But where else could he be?!" Amy panicked.
Joe tapped the inside of the tall, glass tube he was in. "So, let me guess, you wanna examine my 'alien biology' or something?"
Eggman scoffed, "That would be a 'no,' especially considering I was planning on having Sonic here instead."
The young man raised an eyebrow, "Then why keep me in here? Why not just let me go and try again?"
"Too risky. Besides, I can make this work," Eggman answered.
"Oh, I have another guess now: you haul me in front of Sonic and the guys and make some comical demand, otherwise you'll subject me to some mundane torture that everyone else will overreact to?" Joe taunted.
"No," the doctor frowned.
"Okay. Maybe you secretly want tips for trimming your 'stache?" Joe smirked. "Because, newsflash, the whole 'mad scientist' style you've got doesn't look good on anyone."
That made Eggman growl, "Oh shut up! If nothing else, my mustache looks better than yours. I mean, look at you! You look like you're about to audition for a movie!"
"…So?" Joe asked.
"An X-rated movie," Eggman clarified.
Joe's eyes widened before he became furious, "Oh, you did NOT just say I have a pornstache!"
Eggman brushed him off, "Enough chit chat. Time to set things in motion. Say hello to one of my newest inventions: the roboticizer."
Joe looked around as the inside of the tube began sparking up with electricity. He voiced one single thought, "This is gonna suck."
"Okay, how'd everybody's searches go?" Sonic asked as the team met back up in the village center.
"They're not in the Valley of Broken Glass," Knuckles reported as he applied another bandage.
"I searched all around the volcano, but I didn't find any sign of them," Tails shook his head.
Amy went next, "I asked all over town. From what I gathered, none of the other villains are harboring Eggman either.
"And I-"
"Hello, morons!" Sticks was cut off by Eggman announcing his presence. "I told you I'd be back, so here I am!" He held up a hand, silencing the team before they could say anything. "And I've brought a wonderful new toy with me."
The sound of footsteps heralded the arrival of a green, robotic knight, looking just like the one on the cover of this fic.
Eggman laughed evilly, "Behold, my latest and greatest-"
"Is that Joe?" Sonic asked.
That question threw the doctor off, "Wait, what?"
"I asked if that's Joe," Sonic repeated.
"What, uh, what makes you say that?" Eggman asked awkwardly.
"Well, this thing is the same shape and size as Joe," Amy began.
"He's got Joe's main color," Sticks added.
"And you're debuting him right after you kidnapped Joe," Tails finished.
"I-you-bu-ugh, fine, spoil the surprise," Eggman groaned. "I'm sure that'll make fighting him so much easier."
Cubot pointed a finger at Team Sonic from his side car on Eggman's pod, "Get 'em, Joe Man!"
"We're not calling him that," Eggman scolded.
Potential name aside, the robot that was formerly Joe followed the command. It aimed its fists at the crew. The plates on its wrists flipped forward onto its knuckles, with the spikes on said plates rapidly firing small laser blasts.
The whole team scattered to evade. Knuckles managed to get in close and grabbed the bot's wrists, forcing them down.
The bot jerked out of his grip and reached behind, drawing what looked like a handle from a compartment on its upper back. The handle sparked up as a laser blade emerged from one end.
"Uh oh," Knuckles remarked. "No, no, no, no, no, NO!" As the bot swung, the red echidna ducked, twisted, and jumped to avoid the blade until, eventually-SCHINNK-it sliced off one of his dreads. "NO, MY 'DO!"
The green robot raised its blade overhead for a downward slash, but ended up slashing left and right instead, countering a laser blast from Tails and destroying Sticks's boomerang.
Tails took to the air and continued firing. He was shocked, though, when the knight-like robot deployed a pair of thrusters from its upper back and flew right up to him. Thankfully, instead of slashing him with its laser blade, it did a front flip and hit him with an axe kick, knocking him to the ground.
As it landed in front of the downed fox, the green robot saw Knuckles approaching, while its sensors detected Sonic coming in from behind. It held its blade behind its back and blocked Knuckles's punch with its left elbow.
"OW, MAN!" Knuckles staggered back, holding his injured fist, while Sonic jerked to a stop so he didn't cut himself on the robot's sword.
The bot spun around and nailed Sonic in the head with the back of its sword's handle. It then flipped its sword upside down and blocked a sideways swing from Amy's hammer.
Eggman sat up from his pod seat when he saw that Amy's hammer wasn't cut by the laser blade. "What is that thing made of?"
Blocking two more strikes from Amy, the green robot threw a right kick, which the pink hedgehog dodged by leaning back. The bot immediately followed up by planting its kicking foot down and spinning, hitting Amy in the face with a reverse roundhouse kick.
"Wow, even as a robot, he's still got moves," Knuckles observed.
Sticks went next, swinging a staff.
The robot caught the staff mid-swing and swung it around, flinging Sticks off. Looking between Knuckles and Tails, it threw the stick, which bounced off the former and hit the latter, stunning both of them.
Seeing Amy was recovering, the green robot ran over, kicked her again, and swung its blade down at her, only to find there was nothing in its hand. Looking to the side, it saw that Sonic had apparently sped by and swiped its weapon.
"Not so tough without your little sword, are you?" the blue hedgehog taunted.
The green robot held up its arms, causing blades of green energy to extend from its wrists.
That made Sonic lose his grin, "Or maybe you are." He soon found himself having to dodge a bunch of rapid-fire jabs.
The bot held one blade on each side of Sonic's head, giving him no room to dodge, and hit him in the face with a flying knee strike.
Sonic staggered back as the green robot stepped toward him. Tails, Knuckles, and Amy groaned in pain from their spots on the ground. Sticks leapt up from behind for an attack, only for the bot to elbow her in the face.
Grabbing Sonic by the arm, the robot hoisted him up, reared an arm back, and was about to stab him-
Hey, guys. Me again. So, now you're all caught up. And don't worry. This situation isn't as bad as it looks. You see, "Joebot" here made a big mistake just now: he didn't go for my legs.
-when the blue hedgehog kicked it in the face. First once, then twice, then several dozen times, making the robot drop him.
"Ugh, what happened?" the robot asked, clutching his head with one hand.
Sonic's eyes widened as he heard Joe's voice. "Tails, get him!"
Picking himself up, the young fox nodded and shot the robot with his "multi-taser," making him spasm and collapse.
Eggman growled at his robot's defeat, "Curses! Oh well, onto Plan B." With that, he flew away.
Having brought Joe to Tails's workshop, the gang set him down on a table. "Okay, Joe's personality came to the surface at the end of that battle so, hopefully, that should still be the case when we turn him back on," Tails said. He grabbed Joe's head and tapped it with a stylus, causing a spark.
The green robot instantly shot up, rapidly shouting, "Where am I?! What year is this!? Please don't tell me Kanye's president!"
"Calm down there, big guy," Sonic assured him.
"Oh, it's you guys," Joe calmed down.
The gang smiled except for Sticks, "Hold on, I gotta check somethin'. Say somethin' Eggman would never have a minion say."
Joe shrugged, "Okay. Eggman can go shove a pinecone up his-"
"Aaaand that's more than enough," Amy stopped him.
"Cool. So, can someone tell me why I sound like I'm talking through an old radio?" He looked down at himself. "Wait, did Eggman dress me up and puppet me around while he had me?"
"Uuuh, yeah," Tails answered as he and the crew exchanged awkward looks.
"You're not gonna tell him?" Sticks whispered.
"Why don't you break it to him then?" Tails shot back.
As they bickered, Joe got up from the table and walked around, grabbing at his arms and head, "So, is there a way to take this stuff off, or-" he stopped when he slipped on a misplaced screwdriver, making him faceplant. "I didn't feel that," the young man got up and looked at his friends. "Why didn't I feel that?"
Sonic sighed, "Alright, we're gonna be straight with you. We're not sure how, but, while Eggman had you, he turned you into a robot and sicced you on us."
"What? No way. When has he ever been able to…" Joe trailed off as his mind started racing. Eggman had brainwashed people before, and even that wasn't the craziest thing he'd heard about from the team. Not to mention the stats popping up into his field of vision about both them and himself. He slowly started backing up. He would've started hyperventilating except for one thing: he wasn't even breathing.
"Uh, buddy? You okay," Knuckles asked as Joe backed into a wall, shaking.
Joe took another look at his metal hands and clenched them. "Well, that's it. I'm putting him in the ground."
The team stood there, wide-eyed. "Wait, what?" Sonic asked.