A/N: I found an ADHD medication that works pretty darn well for me! I have been writing more consistently than I have in months! 😀 It's swell. Cheating Death has its hooks in me and isn't wanting to let go. I have worked some on Night Shift 8, but I've already finished the next chapter of this one, so expect that later in the week. And hopefully more.

Chapter 4

Sookie managed to wake herself up in time to choke back the scream. She wished that she could just make herself do it sooner, before she got to the part of the dream that turned it into a nightmare, but she supposed that her brain was just trying to keep her safe. She had to keep from losing control and showing weakness where they could see or hear her. She also needed to remember what could be at stake if she didn't. Still, the joy of opening the door to Jason and Gran and then having her heart smashed into a million pieces when they bared their fangs and attacked her for her body and blood tore her apart when she woke up with a scream stuck in her throat every single afternoon.

She lay staring at the ceiling, waiting for her heart to stop galloping in her chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose and then blew it out slowly. She worked on getting herself back under control.

After the takeover, when she'd first come to Las Vegas to meet the King, her life had been so much worse. The more she'd fought and defied them, the more she'd gotten punished. She'd been beaten badly and brutally raped, plus other things that were so much worse. Now, when Felipe or Victor or Sandy or a few of the King's other close advisors told her to do something, she did it. She still had a tendency to run her mouth but she knew which vampires she could cop an attitude with and which ones she couldn't. Being snarky helped her vent the pressure when she had to keep her mouth shut, like with Victor, and even Sandy. And it even kept her safer, in a way. The King liked it when she was a bit of a brat. In fact, she was pretty sure he liked her because she was a pain in the ass, and he kept Victor, and a couple of the others, from hurting her for fun. Serious hurt, anyway. She usually quite enjoyed the spankings.

Back then, when she'd screamed and cried and begged, she'd been taunted and humiliated and made to do things that made her scream and cry and beg even more. Now she had her second set of shields that kept any feelings from getting in and any weaknesses from getting out. And she had her rituals to help her keep control so she had the strength to hold them up.

Before, every touch had been a new traumatization. Sometimes they would rape her dozens of times a night. Sometimes there were four or five at once. She had been in absolute hell. But then she'd learned to embrace the sex. Enjoy it. She'd started out just letting her mind go and concentrating on the sensations. When she learned to cum on their mouths and their cocks, she felt like she took some of their power over her away from them and kept it for herself. The more she enjoyed it, the stronger she felt. The better she was at it, the more they wanted to fuck her, which made them much less interested in doing anything else that might hurt. And she had finally found something in her life she could control.

It was all she had and her survival instinct had really taken it to heart. She hated them but she'd made a proper hate fuck her kink. They'd made her be their slut so she got off on being a good little slut now. For her sanity. She loved sucking their cocks and eating their pussies and getting her face or her ass or both fucked in front of a live audience. Almost all of her did. And the parts that didn't had learned to shut the fuck up. Hell, she didn't even mind pulling a train on both ends or taking half a dozen at once and getting covered head to toe in cum. She was used to it. Victor had a real thing for bukkake.

She still counted every single encounter as a rape, and considered every single vampire who participated a rapist, and every time they raped her made her hate them all a little more, but she let herself enjoy every single bit of it that she could.

In the beginning, her torture had only ever really stopped after the sun came up. Now, most of her time at night was spent getting off or hanging out alone in her room. The only real torture was the serious kind and it had been weeks since she'd gotten anything close to that. She had more privileges, even if it was just a few comforts that other people might take for granted, like a handful of books and a soft blanket she really liked and, incredibly, a picture of her and Jason and Gran. She'd been sure that Victor had destroyed it the night he'd found her in her room at Gervaise's nest in Baton Rouge, after everyone else had been slaughtered, but it had showed up on her pillow one morning three months or so ago. She had spent a long time in the shower that day.

And she knew that she would likely never be free again but, because Felipe thought he could trust her a little bit, she was getting a tiny taste of freedom. Good food that she could pick and eat as much of as she wanted. Entertainment beyond sex, the same five novels over and over, and maybe a few minutes to talk to the donors. Drinks she wanted, if and when she wanted them. A break from the tumultuous monotony of her life.

Her hard work had really been paying off. So, why in the fuck had she pushed the line so much the night before? Why had she kept opening her goddamn mouth and showing him so many of her weaknesses? Telling him all of her secrets? Why had she slapped him, of all things? Hell, why had she argued with him in the first place? She'd known he was going to want to fuck her. All of the vampires did. It wasn't like this was anything new. She was pretty sure she'd sucked and/or fucked every vampire in Las Vegas. Hell, maybe even the whole Narayana Clan. It sure felt like it sometimes.

She had even been looking forward to it. And he'd rocked her world, if she were being completely honest. So, why in the hell had she called him a rapist right after? Of course, he was one, but still. He'd even seemed kind of sorry about it.

And then, after she'd regained control and had made it almost all the way through the night, holding onto her resolve by her fingernails, why had she poked the hornets' nest and called him one again? What was it about him that had made her so angry? Why had she lost control? And how could she keep herself from doing it again?

When she'd seen him the first time, standing next to Victor right after he'd first arrived, she had found him very attractive. She'd known who he was and why he'd been brought to Las Vegas. Sophie-Anne had always spoken very highly of him. She'd said that he was an honourable man. Maybe, subconsciously, she had been half-hoping he was coming to rescue her, as ridiculous as the idea was. He'd been the vampire Sheriff back in Northern Louisiana when she'd been taken a few years back, and he certainly hadn't stopped that from happening. Maybe, when he had just become one more vampire rapist in a long line of them, it had killed her hope.

Regardless, she was damn lucky he hadn't really punished her. Yet, anyway. He'd sure looked mad enough to. Of course, Felipe still might if Eric didn't. Victor would for sure, if he found out. And what if Eric refused to watch her again? What if she'd fucked up another chance to be used as something other than a cum depository?

She'd already punished herself a little. Her first meal out in nearly four years had been a cold and dry sandwich and a glass of water. And then, of course, there were the consequences of her actions. Those were the biggest punishments. Instead of spending the night pretending to be an aloof bitch set on spending all of her very wealthy and smoking hot vampire boyfriend's money while he sat by and watched, capped off with another amazing fuck before sunrise, she had spent most the night feeling like she was drowning and the rest getting gang-raped by Victor Madden and his rotating cast of undead ghouls.

And she hadn't enjoyed it at all. She'd hated every fucking second of it.

She needed to get a handle on this. She knew she wouldn't survive if she had to take too many steps backwards. There was no way she could keep up appearances if every touch made her feel like she wanted to die. She had been so close to ending it all before. She had even tried once but, after that, things had gone from terrible to worse. If she ever did it again, she would need to do it right. She thought everything would be ok if she succeeded.

She put her hair up in a French twist, putting Eric's bite on display. Really, nobody was supposed to bite her except Felipe, so everyone else was careful to heal any fang marks, but maybe he'd told Eric it was alright. Victor had already seen it, so there wasn't much of a point in hiding it from anybody, although she wasn't really sure why she was showing it off. She decided it was to help her get into character.

She picked out nice lingerie and a pretty dress with a very exclusive label that probably cost as much as she'd made in six months back at Merlotte's. She got a pang but then wiped her mind clean of Sam and Arlene and her job at the bar before it spread. Like a disease. She took a shaky breath and got dressed. That was a bit of a novelty in itself. Usually, she didn't even bother.

She finished getting ready and sat quietly on her bed to wait. She didn't know if someone would show up with something for her to eat, if Victor would come and take her out of her room and ruin her preparations, or if Eric was even coming tonight. Or ever again. She felt her eyes prick but she willed the tears away. She looked down at her hands and froze to keep from looking right at one of the cameras. She pretended to go into downtime.

She had no idea how much time had passed when someone knocked on the door. She found it so odd that she almost laughed. It was something she tried not to do. Normally, it wasn't a problem.

"You can come in if you have a key. I can't stop you. But I can't open the door, either."

She hadn't even meant to, and she already sounded like a bitch. A few seconds later she heard the key in the lock and he opened the door. His eyes went right to the bite marks on her throat but then he looked around the room, taking it all in. Not that there was much to see.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded.

"Very well. Come."

She got up and followed him through the VIV Club. Her head was held high and she looked straight ahead, trying not to let anybody make eye contact. She held her breath until they made it to the door and then let it out quietly. She wondered how obvious it was that she was getting way too close to bursting into tears. It was a ways away, but still. It was a worry.

He opened the door and let her through first. Victor was standing on the other side. He grinned at her.

"Sookie, you look nearly as pale as I do! Are you ill? Maybe you should stay home tonight."

"I'm fine, thanks."

It sounded almost normal, at least for this version of her. Nowhere close to on the verge of tears but not like a complete bitch, either. She knew better than to piss off Victor.

Victor put his hand on her forehead and she refused to shudder. He tutted.

"You feel hot to me, Sookie. But maybe I should take your temperature internally, just to be sure. Northman, come back in three hours."

Victor didn't even look at Eric. And, of course, Eric had to listen. Victor outranked everyone except the King. She was sure she was pale. She felt like she was going to be sick. She hoped she could keep it together. She hoped she could find something inside herself to hold onto. She hoped her misery didn't show.

Victor swiped his card and took her wrist and pulled her towards the door. After a moment's pause Eric took her other arm, much more gently than he had the night before.

"I was to take her to the King. Of course, I can just go upstairs and tell him that you needed her first…"

Victor's grin turned into a sneer. He squeezed her wrist hard and then let go. She didn't let on that it had hurt.

"Fine. But have her back here by one-thirty."

"I will have her here on time. Unless the King has other plans, of course."

"Of course."

Victor's eyes were filled with hate. He held her gaze for several seconds that felt like hours. She looked back, impassive. At least she hoped so. God, she was supposed to feel that way, not just look like it.

He glared at Eric next. The corner of Victor's mouth turned up a little. Finally, he went inside. Eric clenched his jaw.

"Come. I suppose we must go and see the King."