The Guritchi Kekkei Genkai (Glitch Bloodline) (Revamp)

by ThewhatifreadEr

Been a LONG TIME since I made a fanfiction, I've been focusing on this for a long time and wanted to finish this so I will. In this, Naruto will have powers similar to a glitch like Vanellope Von Schweetz and a bonus with electricity powers, but I'm not going to have Naruto be the only one with these powers since a server needs people to play the game and Naruto's has some space.

4. Chapter 4

Summary: After being killed on his 8th birthday, Naruto gains a bloodline that makes him a computer glitch with his unique abilities. He now lives to have fun, make friends, and hopefully keep them forever. Listen as Naruto, Kyuubi, Minato, and many others are loaded into the digital experience.

I realized an issue in the story that I will fix soon: I gave Fu the Uzumaki surname, the mistake was that I used "Uzumaki". So I'm changing it to Uzumi (Uh-Zoo-Me), but when the story gets to a certain point, it'll be Namikaze =3. I was also thinking about changing the names of the characters who will become glitches when they become glitches. For example, I was thinking about changing Naruto's name to Nova, either as a nickname or out of spite of his mother since she chose his birth name. Just a suggestion.

Chapter 4: It's Time

We see Fu panting heavily in the Namikaze Estate as she had done a long workout suggested to her by Naruto and Karumi 6 years ago.

"That's enough Ring Fit Deluxe for the day." Fu panted as she took off the leg band on her thigh that held one of the Joy-Cons on it as a tracker for how she was running in the game.

Naruto and Karumi walked as Naruto blushed when gazing at Fu's sweaty body and firm butt in her skin-tight sweatpants as…

"Elongated Viagra Boi…" droned Karumi in his ear.

Naruto adjusted his (indefinite) inches so that it looked like it wasn't there as he didn't want Fu to think him a perv.

Speaking of the two, Naruto's hands were cut up and bloody as he had a guitar on his back and Karumi was practically breaking her spine as she was trying to practice her Cartoon Physics like Naruto has.

'I keep telling you that it's called the Toon Force and I barely even know how to use that.' Said Naruto in her head.

'A fox can dream, Damn it!' Karumi yelled in his head.

'And I told you to stop playing Guitar Hero! That shit can destroy your hands!' She mentally retorted.

'Karumi…' Naruto gave her a mental image of him disassembling and reassembling his body after experiencing a critical wound.

Angered, Karumi sent him a mental image of her and Fu in very sexy lingerie as Naruto couldn't control himself and out bulged 13 inches.

"ERO FISHCAKE!" Exclaimed a bright red Fu who threw the ring in her hands at his face.

"Gyah!" Exclaimed Naruto in mock pain as the ring hit him dead center in the face as he fell on his ass.

"Not funny, either of you…" Naruto knew that that was planned by his vixen of a sister as she was capable of establishing a link between her and Chomei, and as a result, she could send messages to Fu and Chomei mentally just like with Naruto.

So, he knew that Karumi sent Fu the image of them near naked and his reaction, the only question was: how long did Fu know?

Both girls fell on their asses as they laughed crazily.

"(Sighs.) Damn! it's been a long 6 years!" Stated Karumi after calming down.

Naruto then darkened as he realized.

"A few more weeks… "they" return." Karumi and Fu then had their moods ruined as they knew what he was talking about.

"Do you want to step up your training?" asked Karumi.

Fu looked at her with a disbelieving gaze.

"The fuck do you mean "Step Up!" Exclaimed Fu as the "game" she was playing was literal Hell. (Imagine a normal Ring Fit, fused with Wii Fit, times 10, Kaioken style in the difficulty, exercises, and length of the story.)

"No, I mean for me and him since what I have in mind is only accessible to us." Karumi explained.

"But first…" Naruto then looked to the audience.

"We have to talk about some changes!"

"I'm not staying here for this again…" Fu walked out of the room to get changed as Naruto and Karumi did their… bit.

"Okay… so as you can tell, most of us are 16 years old…"

"Me, Naruto, and Fu have been training in our own ways, but while we were helping Fu and overpreparing her for the Academy, I mean, come on! That place sucks! Anyways, Me and Naruto have been learning and practicing with our abilities."

"Thanks to my Domain ability and our data morphing abilities, we were able to enter this place called the Digital Realm after creating a PC and all the essentials, placing us inside a domain, and "downloading" us through the code." Naruto and Karumi looked at each other as their expressions darkened.

"It was Hell…"

"And we're gonna keep at that because we don't feel like explaining it."

"We learned that apparently, we aren't the only glitches, and there is a whole lotta races of different glitches."

"I am from the Pixel race, and Karumi is from, not surprising, the Demon race."

"The Pixels are beings who can manipulate and control pixelization, allowing them to manipulate matter on a small scale and interact with several environments in unique ways."

"And the Demons are dark and malevolent entities that draw power from chaos and destruction, seeking to spread their influence across the realm. I personally call bullshit."

"We also learned that we are many times more powerful in the Digital Realm than in the Human World, especially me since the Pixels are dependent on digital environments for their powers and survival… I guess I am, in some way, an exception."

"We also met these guys in the Digital Realm who plan to stay there once they're done with their stories."

"One was a spiky orange-haired teen with a sickly appearance and a near-permanent scowl whose body looked more transparent than mine. He wears a black hoodie and pants, wields a giant buster sword, and looks like a death god. He was followed by two other guys, the first one looked similar to the first guy but was completely pale white in skin tone, hair, and clothing, and the second one looked like an old man surrounded by a black cloak with sunglasses."

"The other person was a messy green-haired boy who looked like he'd seen better days, but is really civil and into politics. His neck looked… broken… as if it was snapped 360 degrees recently and forced back into position, he wore a green bodysuit that kinda looked like a bunny onesie and big red shoes. He also had big, single-jointed bunny ears on the top of his head too."

"And the last one was a guy who looked very muscular for his age with long lavender hair, strong facial features, and had the symbol of a clock for one of his irises. He wore a blue jacket, underneath is a black tank top, black pants, and orange-ish shoes, and carried a sheathed sword on his back that was normal sized."

"They were honestly nice to meet and we look forward to seeing them again, but that might be at the end of our story here, or during a dream since we established a connection in the Digital Realm."

"Any who, things haven't really changed in Konoha. The Council is still a bunch of assholes. The Old Man may have grown a bit of a backbone but is somehow being intercepted by the idiots.

Hinata is still annoying as Hell and nearly learned of our location here, Sasuke and his fan-whores are still on my ass for that pity fight 6 years ago and the Emo still got the Council on my ass… Luckily, they can't do anything about it since there were no rules."

"We noticed that Sai had grown more distant from the group and Yakumo was looking more sick than usual, it got so bad to the point that Yakumo had to be taken out of the Academy. Me and Naruto go to visit her at her clan compound as much as possible without the other Kurama clan members getting on our asses for being, and I quote, "freaks of nature."

"Luckily, Yakumo was put into the Genin reserves until she could get proper help since her "sensei" was no help at all, asking the Old Man to seal away Yakumo's Kekkei Genkai. Needless to say, he didn't for Yakumo's sake."

"We also met Might Gai and his Genin team consisting of Rock Lee, Tenten, and… Neji Hyuga."

"You mean Fate's bitch."

"Yeah… Neji's straight-up bitch, the first thing he does is ridicule us and call us failures. The little bastard was so smug and sure of himself that he didn't even notice that I snuck his wallet with my detached arm."

"Nevertheless, we've had some problems, but none that we couldn't solve. And when it comes to training arcs like in other fanfictions… our powers aren't meant to make sense so it's not going to be scaled down to logically make sense!"

"Since we basically have the Toon Force but a bit watered down, anything is practically possible."

"Are you guys done?!" shouted Fu from the hallway.

"I dunno? Give me a second." Naruto then cupped his hands around his mouth as he yelled-

"AYO CHIEF! IS THIS IT?"

Chief: Yeah cuz, this is it for now Bozo, boi you look ugly as hell!"

Naruto then looked in the sky with a very sad kitty expression as he was morally insulted by Chief.

"So, are we going to the Academy?" Fu asked Naruto and Karumi.

"I honestly don't know, I just got morally insulted by Chief, so I kinda lost the motivation to go on…" Naruto said as he was sitting in a cardboard box in the corner with a raincloud pouring on him.

"Aww…" Fu walked up to Naruto and started nuzzling against the tear lines on his cheek, causing Naruto to purr and have a happy cat face, all moral support regained.

"Okay, I'm ready." Naruto chirped up as he and Fu held hands when walking out to go to the Academy.

Karumi left last as she locked the door behind, she didn't need to reactivate the seals since they usually reactivated themselves for some reason, she and Naruto don't like seals and don't plan on using them.

"My little boy has grown up so fast…" said Minato as he used whatever chakra he had left to reactivate the seals.

Ever since Naruto saved Fu from the mob, Minato has been trying to learn what he can and can't do. He was capable of leaving Konoha as he was not bonded to the village whatsoever, Konoha was a beautiful place, but its people poisoned it.

(flashback)

While away, he checked up on Kushina, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and his other children, and to be frank, it was a clusterfuck of what the fuck.

Menma was such an arrogant brat, not as whiny as the Uchiha, but worse when he didn't get what he wanted.

Mito… his poor daughter… was actually a nice young lady and wanted the best for everyone, but due to the teachings of her mother and godparents, she had grown to be indecisive about what to do, grew a bit arrogant, and clung to Menma like a lifeline as she couldn't think for herself and is using her runt of a brother to make decisions for her.

Very terrible decisions…

And what is worse was that Kushina and the two sannins were training the kids to hate and soon after, kill Naruto, molding them for the position of the "Child of Prophecy".

Tsunade's apprentice, Shizune, was thankfully not with this and promptly left for Konoha on her own as she no longer saw Tsunade as the woman she once knew.

This was a few years ago, during the time when Shizune was returning, she was ambushed by two Iwa shinobi who were following Kushina and the rest after hearing Menma, or in their words, "a big-headed, loudmouth brat," shouting to the world about being his son.

'Kushina, Tsunade, Jiraiya, if I ever get revived or if Naruto doesn't kill you all first, I'm going to slaughter you, revive you, break you, fix you, maim you, heal you, and rinse and repeat!' Minato thought at the time.

"Wait! Am I in a flashback?"

Minato wanted to help Shizune but knew he couldn't interact with anyone due to being a specter. Nevertheless, he tried.

"The worst that can happen is that I become more depressed knowing that I had to watch someone kind and pure die and couldn't do anything about it…" Minato rushed in, lunging with a punch for Rock Jounin number 1's jaw. But as expected, Minato phased through the man and no one even saw or felt any-

"Yo… Mori! Did you feel something hot brush by?" said the Jounin.

'?What?" thought Minato as his eyes were comedic scribbles from confusion.

Author's note: every single glitch will have their little gimmicks. Naruto has his apathy and Chester cat-like faces based on his mood, and Minato has scribbly eyes like Pomni.

"Shut up Nago! And let's focus on this Konoha bitch!" said Mori and he began to prepare an Earth-Style Jutsu.

"Wait! If I ran past him once and he felt a strange heat, then maybe…" Minato then had a flashback from the day he regrettably sacrificed his life for his village.

(Mini flashback)

"Soon, you will be brought back to light… Glitch of Speed."

(Mini flashback over)

"Glitch of Speed… THAT'S IT!"

Minato then got into a runner's pose and just as Nago was about to use an Earth-style jutsu, Minato blitzed past him in a nano-second.

"What the hell was that?!" yelled Nago as a yellow blur just passed by his vision.

"Na-NAGO! LOOK!" Mori yelled as he pointed at his comrade's hands.

Nago looked down and saw that his hands were not connected to his arms, instead, they were splattered into the ground with a long trail of blood droplets going towards his right.

Nago let out a blood-curdling scream as the pain caught up to his mind, he then turned to Shizune in a blind rage.

"YOU BITCH! YOU TOOK MY HANDS!" Nago then rushed her as Mori performed hand signs.

Shizune didn't know what the fuck was going on, she was just about to be attacked by these two Iwa assassins, got prepared to fight for her life, and some yellow blur comes in and takes the other Jounin's hands.

She then re-focused on the task at hand as Nago was running towards to perform a nasty kick combo.

"No you don't!"

Another yellow blur and Nago was severed in half before anyone could notice.

Mori, seeing that Shizune was not the cause of the yellow blurs, looked around for the culprit.

"Who's out there?! Come Out Now or…"

(*BEEUUM!*)

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Mori looked as his right arm was ripped off clean. He went to grab a kunai with his left arm, only for-

(*BEEUUM!*)

"SON OF A BITCH!" his left hand to be splattered against a tree without his body.

In utter fear and completely defenseless, Mori tried to run away or try and tree jump to Iwa until Shizune heard two brief messages.

"Don't just stand there…"

"...Kill Him!"

Shizune then threw several senbon needles at Mori's spine as they pierced through and slowly ended the man.

Shizune looked all around for the mysterious blur, hoping that the ninja, or who or whatever it was wasn't trying to kill her too.

"Please… I- uh… Don't kill me…" Shizune called out, she then felt several passing hints of warmth as she heard the blurs' messages.

"I'm not going to harm you-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-You can't see me because-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-I am a spirit-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-This is not a jutsu-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-I can only talk to you-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-like this-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-But I am not important-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-Get to Konoha-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-I will protect you all the-"

(*BEUUM!*)

"-way."

Shizune didn't know what to think or say about this, but one thing was for certain, she was going to be safe on her way to Konoha.

"Th-thank you… Mister…" she paused, hoping to hear a name.

(*BEUUM!*)

"Minato."

Shizune was shocked beyond belief, but Minato's words to return to Konoha rang back in her head as she began to tree-hop to the Leaf village.

(End of Flashback)

Ever since that day, Shizune returned safely and updated Sarutobi about Kushina, the twins, and the Sannins. Needless to say, he was not impressed or even shocked about how things were going and allowed Shizune back into the Leaf.

Shizune went on to be the Academy nurse since the civilian council didn't want any hint of Tsunade's past hospital programs to come to light, even if Shizune wasn't Tsunade's apprentice anymore, so Shizune was only left with this as her choice.

Minato had learned that while he was a spirit, he couldn't do much, but he was still a glitch nonetheless, and as the Glitch of Speed, he was capable of becoming somewhat tangible when running at insane speeds. It was as if he fused with the properties of The Flying Thunder God.

Sadly, Minato can only interact with things when moving at high speeds, if he stops moving, he can't interact with anything.

Just as he was finishing the re-sealing of the Namikaze clan compound, he sensed a few chakra signatures approaching fast. Soon came in a dozen ROOT ANBU, all part of a "disbanded" organization of ANBU created by Danzo Shimura that were trained rigorously to the point that they've become mindless and emotionless drones to the war hawk.

All of them, with the exception of Sai, seem to be completely loyal to the man, one way or another, and had it out for Naruto, or specifically, the Kyuubi. Like most of Konoha, they were close-minded fools.

"Remember the mission! Danzo-sama ordered us to clear out the Namikaze Estate for all of the Fourth Hokage's secrets, and in the process, hopefully assassinate the past Kyuubi jinnchuriki and kidnap the Nanabi jinnchuriki for ROOT." ordered the apparent leader of the emotionless drones.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Minato shouted as he prepared to blitz them all to bloody puddles until-

"So just what do you people think you're doing outside our house?" said a feminine voice.

Minato and the ROOT ANBU turn to see Karumi standing far in the clearing as she hadn't gone that far and sensed the foreign chakra signatures.

"It's the demon's bitch!" said a ROOT member as he prepared to strike her down when the leader held him back.

"(To the ROOT member) Calm down! (To Karumi) You are not needed here woman, leave now or suffer the consequences." threatened the leader.

Karumi looked at them all with a blank expression, but on the inside, her old pride as a Bijuu was simmering with rage as her eyes were twitching. She could take a lot of words from the bigots of Konoha and ignore it, doesn't mind the disrespectful tones of Naruto and Fu, but now…

(Sadistic mode engaged)

'I'm just going to finish the seal and watch.' thought Minato as he could tell Karumi was about to wreck their shit.

"I don't know-" Karumi then appears by the ROOT leader's side, resting her arm around his shoulder whilst pressing her buxom chest against his back.

"-you all seem so…. Easy to play with… so easy to have fun with…" her free arm slowly snaked its way down the man's pants as she began to unzip them just to get to his dick.

With his cock in her hands, she then finishes her sentence.

"SO… EASY… TO… BREAK… APART…"

Karumi then gripped the man's dick and ripped it off, eliciting a scream from the man.

Two ANBU rush in from the back and the front.

Karumi sprouted a tail from her tailbone that speared the ANBU behind and blasted a red beam of electricity through the two ANBU in front of her.

"WELL?! COME ON! IS THAT ALL YA GOT?!" She demanded the ANBU.

"What are you?" said a ROOT ANBU.

Karumi jumped in the air and Superman'd to the woman, punching her hard in the chest. So hard that the woman's soul left her body, killing her on the spot.

Karumi then looked around as she was surrounded by the remaining eight ROOT ANBU.

"Heh…" she let eight more bone-like tails sprout from her tailbone. Her teeth and nails sharpened to claws.

"You know… maybe being more active can be fun."

(Academy)

As Fu and Naruto are walking towards the Academy, they feel a loud explosion erupt as Naruto pinpointed the location to be near their house.

"What was that?!" Fu exclaimed.

"DAMN IT! I MISSED IT!" Naruto whined as Fu looked at him for an explanation.

"That's Karumi! She must be actually trying for real and I'm missing it because of the stupid Academy!" Naruto raged as something very awesome is happening behind him and he wasn't allowed to see it.

"Shouldn't we help her?" Fu asked.

Naruto looked at her as if she were insane.

The realization then came to Fu when the person of topic was mentioned.

"Oh… Right, it's Karumi…" Fu palmed her face as she felt stupid for forgetting that the person fighting was the strongest Bijuu alive.

"Well, nothing we can do now." Said Naruto as he got over it.

"You really don't worry that much on a lot of things do you?" Fu sweat-dropped.

"Nope!"

The two then continued their trek to the Academy.

(Academy)

"Alright everyone! Simmer down!" Iruka yelled to the class, only for them to continue chattering on.

Irritated, Iruka performed his Oni Head No Jutsu.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BRATS!" he shouted, silencing the class.

Ever since the long years, everyone had changed in one way or another. Mainly in uniform.

Author's Note: Everyone was pretty much in their Shippuden outfits with the exceptions of Sai, Shikamaru, Ino, and Kiba, and I'm giving Akumaru an outfit too.

The usual friend group of Naruto was all sitting in the usual corner of the classroom.

Sai wore a black turtleneck sweater lined with red. He wore black, fingerless gloves. He wore long, dark-blue ANBU pants. Lastly, he wore the normal open-toed boots of a shinobi. Usually, Sai's prompt outfit was always his ANBU clothing as Danzo didn't care for the interest of his ROOT shinobi, but since Sai would be part of the Academy and join the Nanabi and the flight-risk blonde in a Genin squad, he allowed the boy to use his money to buy clothing that would allow him to "fit in."

Shikamaru, usually the type to not really care about his outfit, wore a fishnet shirt. On top of that is a black jacket. He had on a necklace and some piercings on his ears. He wore pajama pants ever since he received the pixelated pillow from Naruto. He also had the basic blue shinobi shoes.

Ino wore a purple hoodie with the zipper open enough to show off her bandaged cleavage. Underneath it, she wore medical tape almost all around her body, going down her arms and legs. She wore a purple skirt that reached just below her knees. And finally, she wore blackish-blue shinobi shoes.

Ever since she had abandoned the Sasuke Fanclub, she had actually started to blossom more in her figure. She had stopped wearing her scantily clothes, stopped dieting, and actually started training. Asking Kiba for tips for physical development and her father to study more on the clan's Jutsu, she was on her way to becoming a great kunoichi. But unfortunately, the fangirls had gotten jealous, thinking she still loved Sasuke and getting interested looks from the avenger.

One day in an alley, she was ambushed by rabid females and (Indescribable horrors) to her body. Luckily, Kiba was just around the corner and saved her before anything fatal could happen. She wore the medical tape to cover her injuries and her bond with Sakura, who formed the mob, had shattered.

Kiba didn't really have an outfit change as he just wore a larger version of his grey hoodie, unzipped all the way to show off his muscles. Out of all the male Academy students, Kiba had the bigger muscles, while Naruto had wiry muscles and Choji had chubby muscles. Over time, he had been asking his mom for more ways to train, but for some reason, she just shoved him to the side. Kuromaru would usually train him and Akumaru now since Tsume had been acting off recently.

Akumaru, who has grown from a tiny puppy up to the size of a small horse, wore a red vest with a hood. One day, while on a walk with his partner, he saw the vest on the side of a shop and practically begged for it because he liked it.

Shino had been more open to his compadres as they grew to see the importance of several bugs and began to like them, especially Fu who shared her own knowledge on insects with him. Instead of being quiet all the time and only saying one sentence, he would actually start some conversations with them. He and Shikamaru would make it a little competition to figure out the inner workings of Naruto and Karumi's bloodline. Shino openly has conversations with Naruto about it as the blonde explains as best as he can.

Choji hadn't really changed in personality as he still was a gentle person. But if he was forced to fight or kill, he wouldn't hesitate like before when he was more naive. He didn't eat as much as he did where he would have bags of chips apparate from nowhere, at least not in class, and focused more on training in his clan's style of fighting as nothing else seemed to fit him.

The group of friends were patiently waiting for the remaining three members to enter as Iruka was calling roll.

As they waited, Kiba looked over to see from the shadows of Ino's hoodie, her eyes staring intensely at the object of her hatred. He looked as well and scrunched up his face in loathing as his eyes landed upon Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno.

Ever since the attack on Ino, Sakura was allowed to be near Sasuke all she wanted as long as the other fangirls didn't get there first. She constantly boasted to Ino about how true love conquers all and taunted her openly about her "ugly" appearance under the bandages. All the girls, with the exception of Fu, Karumi, and Yakumo, bullied her and openly laughed if her face were to be shown when her hoodie gets pulled back. She was never allowed to forget and she was glad.

Glad because when she read up a bit on the Chunin Exams, she learned there would be a tournament at the finals between the shinobi who would have passed all of the previous trials. She would wait for the day when she would get her hands on Sakura in a match where the only rule is no killing. What she would do wouldn't require such a thing. She was going to utterly humiliate her.

And Sasuke hadn't changed one bit! The only difference about him was that he wore long, white jeans that reached his ankles. Sasuke had been constantly demanding the right to learn several of the other Academy students' techniques. He tried with them but ultimately backed down when he was hit with the combined killer intent of the entire group.

His attention shifted to the civilian-born students. One kid, Hashi Sukinori, had an incredible talent and mastery in the Kawarimi No Jutsu. When Sasuke learned of this, he demanded that Hashi teach him the secrets the "clanless nobody" had on how he could perform it so well, and Hashi refused.

The next day, Sasuke was a master at Kawarimi, and Hashi was never seen again. Even Hashi's parents didn't look for their son, almost as if he didn't matter.

And Hinata… Their opinion of her had slowly declined when learning about the things she had been doing from Naruto. She was something more than a stalker as, with the exception of Naruto's house, she knew every place within Konoha that Naruto liked to hang out and one hundred percent of the time appeared in her hiding places around those places at the perfect time when Naruto is there.

Another thing to note was how she acted around Fu and Karumi. She always had this look of indifference whenever they were around and would give them this stare of jealousy.

One time, she attempted to kill Fu discreetly in a sparring match as she tried to strike her with an overpowered Jyuken strike, only for Fu to forfeit for some odd reason. She had been trying to get close to Naruto, but every time she did, Naruto would scoot to the side or teleport away to a different area code. One time, Naruto had pushed himself hard enough that he broke through several walls and defied gravity.

Needless to say, the pink banshee, the needy emo bastard, and the shy gal are on their shit list.

Just then, Naruto and Fu entered the Academy just as Iruka had called for Fu's name.

"Are we late?" Naruto asked.

"Nope." Iruka then gave them a smile. "You made it just in time!"

Iruka's head then grew several sizes. "FOR THE 10TH TIME THESE PAST FEW YEARS!"

Fu blushed in embarrassment as she looked down while Naruto had shrunk with a sad cat face and a big beady eye, staring into Iruka's angry ones.

"And where is Karumi?! She's been late every single GUYAT damn time!" Iruka demanded them.

"She got held up by some 'roots' back at home." hinted Naruto, Iruka being able to understand as a look of shock and realization adorned his face.

"Oh… well, I guess I can let her off the hook this time."

"WHAT!?" exclaimed Mizuki.

Ever since he was ratted out by the blonde glitch, he had tried his best to make the boy fail and seem like a moron in class, each attempt failing. He then tried to target Naruto's friends, resulting in many pranks involving several moments of self-humiliation, getting steamrolled, dog piss and ink, moments of weakness and being drained, nightmares, and getting an electric spark to the ass.

"Iruka, we can't just allow a student to skip class like this, especially since graduation is within a few weeks." Mizuki protested.

"Normally, I would agree with you. But this situation is a bit more important than you would think." Iruka then turned to Naruto. "How long until she gets here?"

"3… 2…" "YEEET!" Something then crashed through the window, revealing it to be Karumi.

"1!" Karumi shouted as she fell face first on the floor.

"Alright, she's here. Now, everyone to your seats." Naruto, Fu, and Karumi then teleport to the 'Friend Corner' as they sat in their seats.

"So? How have you guys been?" Naruto asked sincerely.

"It's been very decent I might say." answered Sai politely.

"Hurting… but I'll manage." answered Ino strainingly.

"Tired… and troublesome…" answered Shikamaru lazily.

"Better! Now that the gangs all here." answered Kiba boisterously.

"BARK! (great!)" answered Akumaru happily.

"(Munch!) Just like Kiba said." answered Choji while eating.

"I am happy as long as all of you are happy." answered Shino kindly.

"That's good." Naruto said. He then noticed the glaring eyes of Sasuke and Sakura from behind and the wanting gaze of Hinata as he sighed in frustration.

"So who are you gonna tell off now?" Karumi asked.

"Hinata." Naruto didn't say anymore as he opened his textbook to the last few pages left.

Throughout the many years in the Academy, Naruto, and his group had done their best to not be the dead last(s) of the class, but always stayed clear of being 'The Rookie and/or Kunoichi of the Year' because if any of them were to gain these titles, then they could get pinned with Sasuke and/or Sakura, which was worse than death.

'Well… I could think of worse things…' thought Naruto.

They thought of trying to get the titles so they could guarantee one team would be made up of their friends, but then that would guarantee that those two might be on the others' teams. But since the council and most of the teachers in the Academy are constantly wiping the Uchiha's ass and Sakura's mother is a part of the Civilian Council, their positions of being 'the best' was rest assured.

Everyone, while better than the two, went on to be average students. Leaving one known problem and two unknown problems, at least for the group and not Naruto and Karumi. Hinata was constantly trying to be at the top, mainly to impress Naruto, but also because of her father's threats to put the Caged-Bird Seal on her if she didn't score high in the Academy. Most likely, she was going to be on a team with two of the gang, and they just had to live with that.

'And we can't forget about them…' thought Naruto, who had plugged in his headphones to listen to some Lofi music after generating a pixel pillow for Shikamaru.

Speaking of them, It was reported that his so-called mother, godparents, and siblings were returning to the village. Most likely, Menma and Mito would be the dead lasts of the class as they would just be starting the Academy on the final day. And until Naruto can get a rough estimate of their abilities, he isn't going to say he could beat them. While he is intangible to most attacks, he had some flaws.

Karumi, being a glitch, is capable of touching him. Hiruzen, due to his high level of power, was able to touch him. Sasuke, during the sparring competition six years ago, couldn't touch him, still can't touch him, and never will touch him. Yet all of his friends, with the exception of Choji, could touch him. If his theories were correct, this must be the work of plot armor, certain people who can touch him might have something happen to them in the future, or they have something special about them that allows them to make physical contact with his body without his permission.

While Naruto is capable of pixelating himself to move his body out of dangerous attacks, he is still able to be damaged. Another thing is that Naruto has infinite lives along with Karumi as if they are video game characters. You would think that since they are immortal, they wouldn't have to worry about death and would be arrogant, right? WRONG! You see, in the Digital Realm, death, and I mean true death, is considered the greatest gift God could give to glitches that were born or taken there against their will. Since Glitches always respawn, it leaves opportunity for torture, and many other glitches can be quite unstable in the head. And with the added fact that you respawn exactly where you die as well and due to having Toon Physics, anything gory and dark that you can imagine can be done to these people. Yeah! It's horrible and Naruto and Karumi are no exceptions to this.

That is why Naruto actually tries in the Academy, why he actually trains to be a ninja, and the reason he uses both his digital energy and chakra. He isn't worried about what people in the ninja world could do to him and could pretty much give a fuck less to what those in the Digital Realm would do to him. He was definitely selfless in most situations as he was worried for his sister-figure and the friends they met in that world.

Naruto then exited his thought process as he felt something on his shoulder. He looked to see it was Karumi.

"Iruka said to go outside." she explained.

"Okay." Naruto responded when listening to what his sister had to say when removing his headphones.

Walking out to meet with the rest of the class, he is met with Iruka's stern gaze.

"I told you several times to stop listening to music when class is in session!" Iruka exclaimed.

"Hey! Hop off my case! Besides, at least I finished the textbook." Naruto pointed out, eliciting Iruka to give him a satisfied look.

"I guess you're right? Well, you can prove your knowledge once the day of graduation arrives. For now, we will evaluate your basic skills in Kunai and Shuriken Accuracy, Physical Academics, Obstacle Courses, Spars, and the Academy Three Ninjutsu." the scarred-nose man Announced.

"You really deserve the alias for the 'King of the Basics' Dolphin-san." joked Karumi in slight respect, causing the students to laugh and Iruka to have a tick mark on his head.

"Well since you like making jokes today Karumi, you can go first." Proposed Iruka, gesturing for Karumi to pick up the Kunai and Shuriken.

"I didn't mean it in a disrespectful way, but whatever." Karumi shrugged as she got in line.

She picked up the Kunai and Shuriken and realized they were rusted and worn out. Not trying to make a scene, she discreetly used her data morphing ability, changing the code and status of the Kunai and Shuriken so that they were practically brand new. She was actually going to try this time even if her face didn't express it.

Holding 5 Shuriken and 4 Kunai in her arm, not caring how they were piercing her body and arm, she threw the one Kunai in her hand at the target with the flick of dah wrist and hit the bullseye dead center.

She then did the same with the other Kunai until they were all on the target, scoring her a 4.5/5 as Mizuki stated how one was a bit off. She was fine with this, she could handle a bit more humiliation after blowing off some steam on those Root members. And this was playing into her group's plan of being "Average at best."

She then chucked all the Shuriken at a fast pace and scored a perfect 5/5.

"How's that?" boasted Karumi to Iruka, not caring about the blood that slid down her right arm.

"Uh… Do you…? Nevermind." Iruka stammered as he looked at Karumi's unbothered state and just marked her score.

She, Naruto, Fu, and the rest of their group sat near a tree as they waited to be called on as the civilian-born students got their chances, all scoring low marks.

Shino was called and scored a ⅘ and a 5/5.

Then came Choji who scored ⅗ and ⅘.

Next came Sakura who scored a ⅕ and ⅖… pathetic.

Next was Hinata who scored a perfect 5/5 for both Kunai and Shuriken, she looked back to see if Naruto was watching, only to see Naruto playing on that 'rectangular device' (Nintendo Switch) while Fu watched the screen, their shoulders touching.

Kiba was called and scored a 5/5 and ⅗.

Shikamaru thought to get something mediocre, but surprisingly, he instinctually got a ⅘ and 5/5 on accident.

Sai was called and scored a 3.5/5 and a 4.5/5.

Next up was Sasuke. The Uchiha grabbed all the projectiles in both his hands and in one motion, flung them as they all hit the bullseyes. His fangirls went crazy as their screeches broke all the windows… again. He turned to Naruto with a smug expression, only to see Naruto was sleeping on Fu's shoulder as Fu was also asleep, using Naruto's surprisingly soft hair as a makeshift pillow. This enraged the Uchiha, but nevertheless, he went back to the line.

"Fu Uzumi!" Iruka called as Fu woke up and got ready.

'Good luck.' said Naruto's voice in her head.

'Thanks.' she thought through their mind link.

Fu grabbed all the Kunai and Shuriken. She looked at the target and threw the Kunai all at once and then threw the Shuriken in an angle to where they curved and hit the bullseyes. Only one Kunai missed, leaving her with a ⅘ and 5/5.

Next up was Naruto, who congratulated Fu along with Karumi as the gang gave her a round of applause. Naruto then walked up behind the line where he would stand and throw the Kunai and Shuriken at the target.

"Are custom weapons allowed?" Naruto asked Iruka.

Mizuki was about to say no, but was beaten to the punch by Iruka as he knew the rules and wasn't going to let Mizuki run his role in the Academy and give false information.

"Yes, they are allowed." Iruka confirmed.

"Also… can I step a further distance back?" Naruto requested.

"I don't see why not?" Iruka allowed.

Naruto then walked away from the target, and kept walking… and walking… and walking. Everyone looked to see where Naruto was going only for their vision to be cut off as he had walked so far to the point that he was over the horizon.

"HA! The dobe is such a coward! He just ran away! Serves him right as a weakling like him can never stand up to someone like me!" Sasuke boasted as Sakura added to his claim.

"THAT BAKA COULD NEVER STAND UP TO SASUKE! HE'S JUST A STUPID, NO GOOD-" only for her to be cut off as something came flying past at such a high velocity. That something was a Kunai that sparked with electricity and had a futuristic aura about it. It plunged itself through the bullseye, destroying it.

Several more projectiles went flying past. Three of the remaining nine flew by Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata as they were a little too close for comfort. All of the projectiles hit the targets and landed normally, but still pushed the targets on their backs.

"A perfect score! Plus extra marks!" intrigued Iruka as Naruto had scored a little over the last highest score ever recorded in the Academy's history by Minato Namikaze.

Before anything else could happen, Naruto came rushing back.

He moved like a statue as his legs weren't moving and were perfectly still. His arms and hands were up horizontally, making him look like a "T" as he was T-posing. And his face was straight and looked soulless as he statued his way to Sasuke.

"I can hear you talking shit from light-years away. Next time, keep it in your heads." said Naruto while his mouth didn't even move.

Naruto then got out of the pose and walked back to Fu as they got back in their sleeping positions.

All of Naruto's friends applauded him for such a performance as he gave them his (newly) iconic happy cat face.

Sasuke, Sakura, the fangirls, and Mizuki seethed as they glared at Naruto. Hinata glared at Fu for being near her "Naruto-kun". And Iruka was practically in heaven as he graded Naruto's perfect performance.

Last up was Ino as she scored a ⅘ and ⅘, showing just how far she was into her training in accuracy.

"Alright, let's move on to Physical Academics!" Announced Iruka as he and Mizuki led the students to a track field that was added thanks to the Hokage's new, yet limited control over the curriculum.

In this part of the Academy, students will be tested on their physical abilities. This includes leg strength, arm strength, core, speed, grip, and physical capabilities. It was also secretly there to weed out the Kunoichi wannabes who weren't willing to train and get dirty.

They were going to start with a three-lap race on the track as the students got in position.

"On your mark! Set! GO!" yelled Iruka as he held his notepad. Naruto's hand (not attached) held the timer as Naruto was the most trustworthy with a timer.

The non-clan students began to run, not getting a lot of distance at all. Sasuke then ran as it seemed he was the fastest.

"Hey Naru!" called Fu.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked.

"Full sprint?" Fu asked for the friend group.

"Full sprint, no jackets." answered the blonde.

Everyone then took off their jackets and/or shirts in some cases.

Naruto had on a black tank top, Karumi had a red tank top, Kiba was bare-chested, Sai had a T-shirt, Shikamaru had a fishnet shirt, Fu had on a green bra, and Ino's chest was covered in bandages. Choji and Shino chose not to take off any upper clothing.

As they got done stretching, they got in runner poses.

"3 2 1!" yelled Naruto as the friend group practically blasted off, zipping past the civilian-born students.

Author's note: glitches can run up to Mach 1 naturally. Some can reach Mach 4 with abilities.

Sasuke for sure thought that another victory would be given to him as he was nearing the end of the track, only to hear several somethings rushing behind him.

He turned and the first thing he saw was a speeding blue blur.

"Move it duck butt!" yelled Naruto as he blitz past Sasuke.

Sasuke was seething until he turned around again to see Karumi blitzing by.

"Outta my way emo prick!" she shouted as she too blitzed past the Uchiha.

"What the-"

"MOVE IT!" Sasuke turned to see the rest of the "loser club" on a war path in his direction, Fu being third in line as Naruto and Karumi already sped past Sasuke. Fu was the fastest of the Academy students. Not counting Naruto and Karumi since they could run at abnormal speeds due to being glitches.

Fu then knocked Sasuke on his face as she wasn't going to trip on him and embarrassly kiss him or be in a position for the Uchiha bastard to grope her. That was reserved for Naruto.

Just as Sasuke was about to get up, Kiba, Sai, Ino, Shino, Shikamaru, and Choji, in that order, ran on top of his body, Ino making sure to stomp as hard as she could without losing speed.

Naruto's severed hand clicked the timer several times as the records were given to Iruka.

"Karumi is first, Naruto is second, Fu is third, Kiba is fourth, and Sai is fifth." He was about to mark down the times and points when Naruto, who was sporting a nosebleed, stopped him.

"Don't give me and Karumi the full points for this." he requested while holding a towel to his nose.

"But why?" Iruka asked.

"Glitches are naturally fast. We can run equally as fast as the speed of sound, or Mach 1, and even surpass that speed if we are lucky or if we train in that area enough. Fu should be marked as first for her time because this feels like cheating without cheating to us." Naruto explained.

Truthfully, Iruka didn't want to do it because ninjas were supposed to cheat, but with the cute animal eyes Naruto and Karumi were giving him, he couldn't refuse.

"Oh… alright… Fu is first, Kiba is second, Sai is third, Ino is fourth, and Shino is fifth." Iruka proceeded to give out the scores, giving Karumi and Naruto passing grades, while the other civilian students who don't train and think being a ninja is a game got low grades. It sickened Iruka that the parents of these students don't care about their children's training and future careers. As long as they do their best to please the Uchiha or belittle the "Demon," they would be fine.

Iruka heard the whispers, he wasn't a fool like before and was more attentive than before. He wasn't going to sugarcoat anything for these kids and if they get upset? Too Bad! Being a ninja is a serious profession, not an everyday job, and these kids will learn this lesson. Even if he has to engrave it in their heads. And if they still kept this mentality, then maybe the outside world would set them straight… hopefully, they would understand in the next life.

"IRUKA-SENSEI! NARUTO-BAKA AND THOSE LOSERS CHEATED!" Sakura screeched.

"Okay, I can understand how me and Naruto cheated. But how in the fuck could our friends have cheated?" Karumi exclaimed.

"THERE IS NO WAY ANY OF YOU LOSERS COULD BEAT SASUKE-KUN!" the pink holler monkey ranted.

Before anyone could speak up or retort, Fu walked up to the pink-haired girl…? Thing? And slapped her hard in the face, causing Sakura to fall on her cube ass with her hand on her bruised face.

Fu looked down at Sakura, turned, and walked away with her hands in the air.

If Naruto had thought she was hot before, then Fu was practically as hot as the sun. Her actions spoke enough and that turned him on. He always preferred to not care about such useless situations like this, would give a piece of his mind, and leave and not elaborate any further.

"Let's move on… this shit ain't worth nothing." spoke Fu as she proceeded to put her shirt and hoodie on, everyone agreeing in their own way on the matter.

They then proceeded to move on to the obstacle course, only for Naruto to complain about how simple it was, and he wasn't wrong.

Iruka had to agree with the blonde glitch. The obstacle course was nothing more than a playground that was moved around and modified in an attempt to make a level 1 obstacle course. Not only that but it was also designed for civilian-born children. No doubt it was another act of the Civilian Council trying to suck up to the Uchiha because as soon as Shino attempted to go on, he felt it was too easy.

Many of the students complained how Naruto was just making a scene for no reason, Mizuki ordering that he not question his betters.

This ticked off Naruto, only for his look of rage to turn into a look of malicious intent as he gave a sly smirk to everyone.

He then held his hands out to the shitty course as it began to break down into pixels. More pixels began to appear as pieces of the ground and several trees were pixelated and transmuted into different shapes and materials.

Naruto moved his hands in a sort of symphony as he viewed several calculations and ideas in his head.

When he stopped, a large mass of pixels were afloat above the Academy.

"Naruto! What are you-" Iruka began, only for the blonde to lower his hands in a dropping motion towards the spot the course once was as the pixels came falling down.

As the dust cleared, it revealed what could only be compared to a warzone or a row of pain.

A path of hot rocks, tires with knives in the rims, swinging logs, ravenous animals, and… "ARE THOSE MOTHER-FUCKING LANDMINES!?" yelled Iruka and Fu as they were familiar with the hidden explosives in the videogames the blonde would play. If Naruto had one problem about himself, it would be that he has a child-like fascination with explosions.

"Hee Hee! Yea!" laughed the blonde crazily. That wasn't even half of the course.

He even added turrets and guns that were meant for Iruka to use to aim at the students. Luckily, the ammunition for all the weapons and explosives in the course were paint and were not actual bullets and gunpowder.

'Done saved me from having a heart attack.' thought Iruka.

"Iruka! We can't just let the de- Naruto do this! This is completely unsafe and could get many of the students injured." Mizuki complained.

"Unsafe?" asked Naruto. "Injured?" Naruto started getting angry.

"Motherfucker! We are ninjas! This isn't some superhero fantasy world where we save princesses! We are training to be mercenaries and assassins, training to kill for our village, training to work in the shadows! This shit is meant to be 'unsafe!' We are prone to get fucking 'injured', killed, or worse!" Naruto then glared holes into Mizuki's eyes.

"If you want to send these kids to their deaths, you might as well go kill yourself or give up on being a ninja since you are clearly incapable of teaching and instructing others in the path of shinobi! Matter of fact! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, OR GO THROUGH THAT COURSE, PUSSY!" Naruto pointed aggressively to the far distance and his obstacle course as Mizuki had pissed him off with his blatant favoritism.

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE-"

"Mizuki…" Spoke Iruka in a silent tone.

"...Go through the course." He said in finality.

"WHAT!? Iruka, you can't-" Iruka's hard stare cut off the cyan-haired Chunin.

"Mizuki! As the head instructor of the Academy, I order you to go through the course! If you have truly grown soft and are teaching the children incorrectly, then I'll see that Hokage-sama will have you fired!" Iruka threatened.

Mizuki begrudgingly went to the start of the obstacle course, glaring hard at Iruka and Naruto before starting.

"Oi! Read the sign!" Naruto shouted.

Mizuki turned to see the sign that read "Shoes off!" Most likely because of the hot rocks at the start of the course.

"THIS IS-"

"JUST DO IT AND GO!" shouted almost everyone as Mizuki took off his shinobi sandals.

(Skip)

Mizuki made it through the obstacle course in very bad shape. He was covered head-to-toe in paint, was bleeding a bit from some places, his feet felt numb, and he was unconscious.

"Well… that was something." Iruka concluded as many of the civilian-born students blanched in fear and Naruto's friends and girlfriend looked at the blonde as if he had lost his mind.

"Look! Life isn't easy! If you wanna cry about it, Boo-Hoo! I'm going next!" Naruto exclaimed as he took off his shoes and waited for Iruka to start the timer and man the paint turrets and paint gun.

Author's note: I'm skipping all of this, you can already tell the format of my fanfiction: Civilian-born student suck ass, Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata get shit on, and Naruto and his pals struggle but do better than most. Just imagine the scenarios and Naruto and the gang having funny moments too.

(skip)

Naruto was laughing like a loon as he watched everyone attempt the obstacle course with most failing spectacularly. Even his friends got paint on them.

He, however, wasn't as lucky as he wasn't unscathed. His hair was a complete rainbow afro, his blue jacket was now orange, the soles of his feet were burning red, and he broke his arm on the logs. He could easily fix this, but he was embracing humility and loving it.

"You added that first one because you have a foot fetish!" Accused Fu as her clothes and skin were messed up by the paint, she also got some cuts on her legs from the tires.

"That is not true!" Denied Naruto. "I just love you!" he admitted, prompting Fu to bonk him on the side of the head, quickly followed by a hug.

"I know, you silly goose." giggled Fu as she had to admit it was fun.

"Not trying to ruin the moment-" started Shikamaru, who was painted yellow, green, black, and purple all over, "-but how are we going to get clean?" He pointed out as all the students were covered in paint or were injured and are currently soothing their burning feet.

"Maybe I should have held back a bit with the paintball gun?" blanched Iruka. "We can't continue with the assessments if everyone is covered in paint." he stated.

"Well, Me and Karumi can't generate water with our bloodline, and normal water is… bad for us. The main reason we usually don't bathe is because we don't have the normal functions of humans, so we can never stink or get dirty." Naruto explained.

"There's a waterfall nearby, we can just use that to get washed up." a random student proposed.

"Like hell am I doing that!" exclaimed Sasuke. "I'm a Uchiha Elite! Uchihas don't share showers with commoners like you!"

"YEAH, YOU LOSERS!" budded in Sakura.

Naruto, Fu, and Karumi already began walking as the rest of the Academy students went on as well, leaving the Duck Ass and Holler Monkey.

Iruka idly stood there as he wasn't taking Mizuki to the Hospital.

(The Waterfall)

"LAST ONE IN IS A ROTTEN EGG!" Cried Kiba as he already took off his clothes and cannonballed in the water, splashing some of the students.

Most of the boys were goated into the childish game and got undressed or just jumped in with their clothes on since they were all covered in paint.

Many of the girls either shrieked, looked away, or followed through with the game.

Fu took off her pants and hoodie as she was about to jump in the water until she noticed a certain blonde and redhead hadn't moved an inch.

"Naruto! Karumi!" called Fu, gaining the attention of the class and the two in question. "Aren't you guys going to jump in?" she asked.

The cat-faced male and the foxy female looked at each other and back to Fu. "We would love to…" Naruto started. "But if we were to go in the water, it would get electrified due to us having electricity coursing through our bodies." Karumi finished as the two had a downcast expression on their faces.

"Aw! Come on! Can't you just… I don't know… keep the electricity close to you guys?" Kiba complained.

"That's not how electricity works ya dunce! That shit spreads rapidly due to its conductive properties. Water acts as a conductor because it allows electric current to flow through it. If we were to even put a finger in the water, all of you would get electrocuted!" Naruto explained.

"We can just undo the damage done to us with a snap and we'd be fine. You guys can enjoy yourselves." Karumi said blankly.

"Can't you make a barrier around your bodies so the electricity doesn't get out?" asked Sai.

Naruto and Karumi looked at each other and punched one another in the face. "WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT!" they screamed simultaneously.

Testing what Sai prompted the two to do, Naruto uses his distorted chakra and surrounds it over his body along with Karumi. With hesitancy, Naruto dipped his finger in the water, and no electricity came out.

Seeing and feeling this, Naruto and Karumi immediately exited their clothing and leaped high in the air.

"CANNON BALL!"

"GER-A-MIN-O MOTHA FUCKERS!"

Naruto and Karumi came crashing down. As soon as they impacted the water-

(Hokage Tower)

Hiruzen was dealing with paperwork once again.

He heard giggling and looked around the room to find who was laughing at his misery, only for him to see no one laughing, his personal ANBU weren't making a peep and he knew Jiraiya wasn't here, so the only culprit was…

"You little demons!" he exclaimed as he lit a match and dropped it on the papers as they were all simultaneously reduced to ash.

"Finally… some peace and quiet…" but that was short-lived.

(SPLASH!)

Hiruzen woke up after hearing a loud splash. Sadly, the paperwork was still there.

He turned to see a tall pillar of water rise into the air and… "are those colors mixed in the water?"

The water came crashing down wherever it had risen from.

Hiruzen could practically smell that Naruto was a part of this and promptly banged his head on his desk. "(to his ANBU): wake me up if I take too long." He promptly fell asleep as his ANBU took pity on the elderly Kage.

(Waterfall)

The water came down and everyone was utterly soaked.

"I guess there's no point in keeping this on." growled Ino as she took off her clothes, revealing her bandaged body.

"At least we can wash our clothes like this." Choji said optimistically as he took off his clan armor and clothing.

At this point, nearly everyone was in the water. Some of them were playing around, others were washing themselves under the waterfall.

"So…" said Fu as she nudged Naruto.

"So what?" asked Naruto.

"Do you like the water?" She asked.

Naruto took a moment to find the answer he was looking for. He then spoke up.

"It's weird. Usually, whenever me and Karumi first wanted to go for a splash, the water got electrocuted and we'd get extremely damaged and fried. We tried electrifying the water in the pool we had before getting in, and while it didn't nearly kill us like last time, it was uncomfortable and hurt like Hell."

Naruto then put his arms behind his head in a comfortable position.

"But to feel normal water on my body for once? It's great! Definitely better than the cool breeze of the wind." He then stopped when he noticed Fu swaying closer, leaning upon his body.

"Do you wanna know what else feels better than water?" she asked with a blush on her face.

But before they could do something romantic, Naruto stopped her.

"Why?" she whined.

Naruto then pointed to a rock. Behind it, was a hint of blue-indigo hair.

'GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!' Fu raged in her head.

Naruto then got up from the water and began walking towards the rock.

(Hinata's POV)

'He's coming towards me!' Hinata thought as she could feel her heart racing.

It had been years. 13 long years since the day he had saved her from the bullies who attacked her because of her clan status.

Ever since that day, she had been watching from her hiding spots, seeing the pain he went through, witnessing the torment he had gone through.

She had stopped stalk- I mean- watching him when she saw her father's chakra rush to the area Naruto-Kun was in when he was eight.

She had lost track of him for two years, hoping that he was okay.

He was, he looked different, but she still loved him regardless.

But then those two came along.

Karumi, to her, was an absolute whore, keeping his gaze away from her all the time. Oh, how she wished she never existed. And she goes on to claim to be Naruto-kun's sister!? She doesn't even know what Naruto-kun's been through!

And that green-haired bitch! Never had she wanted to kill someone as much as her. She just appeared in Naruto's life and was practically stealing him from her. She got tired of how her Naruto and that bitch were getting along so much to the point that during a sparring match a year ago, she tried to kill her, only for Fu to give up before she could land the finishing blow.

Even when she gained the courage to talk to or get close to her Naruto-kun, he would always move away or get into a conversation with someone and leave without even acknowledging her.

Whenever she would find and watch him around his happy places around Konoha, he would walk away almost instantly or Fu and/or Karumi would tell him that it's time to go.

But none of that mattered right now, Naruto had obviously abandoned the scank once he noticed her. She had never been so nervous, being in her undergarments in a lot of water next to a waterfall, but unlike most of the sticks in class with the exceptions of Fu, Ino, and Karumi, she had the sexiest body of all the females in the Academy.

And now Naruto is walking up to her to allow her to make him-

(Normal POV)

"LEAVE ME ALONE AND DIVERT YOUR STUPID EYES FROM ME YOU GODDAMN FREAK!"

Everyone had become quiet as they heard Naruto shout and heard exactly what he said and noticed whom he yelled at.

"Wah-what?" Hinata stuttered.

"You heard me! Stop stalking me! Every Gyat Dayum Day, you are always hiding around wherever I go, constantly following me like a lost puppy! No matter where I go within this god-forsaken village except for my own house… You… Always… FIND ME!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Buh-buh-buh- but I-"

"And don't get me started with how you treat my friends when I'm not around! You were one of the bitches that constantly belittled Ino after her near-assassination, I can hear you! You always hit Kiba with a Jyuken strike whenever he compliments you for what!?"

"I-I-I-"

"And then you claim that Fu and Karumi just entered my life just to get with me, claim that you have always been there for me, and try to kill the person I love?!" Naruto raged.

"Naru-" Hinata tried to speak up.

"Hinata Hyuuga! You are a meek girl who can't take an insult without stuttering or fainting and did nothing to help me when I was a child! Fu and Karumi did more for me in 8 to 6 years than you for 13! NEVER LOOK AT ME! NEVER TALK TO ME! NEVER GET NEAR ME! AND NEVER EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING CLOSE TO ME! I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE YOU!" yelled Naruto. His voice reached out to several universes at once. (his yell isn't painful to the ears close up unlike a Haruno).

He then turned his back and walked away back to his girlfriend.

But he quickly turned his neck 180 degrees to look back at Hinata with a darkened eye.

"And if you even try to harm my girlfriend or sister, I will kill you! Regardless of your stupid clan status!" Naruto promised as he turned his neck back, leaving a crying Hinata.

(with Fu)

"Sorry about that, she just…" Naruto was silenced by a kiss on his lips from Fu.

"Just calm down silly!" laughed Fu, causing Naruto to get infected with "The Giggles" as he laughed too.

"Jeez Naruto… don't you think that was a bit harsh?" Choji asked as he looked at Hinata crying deep in the water.

"She deserves it." stated Ino blankly as she had no love for Hinata.

"Choji. She constantly stalks me, threatens any female physically or verbally that gets close to me, can barely even get within 20 feet close to me without fainting, tries to kill someone I care about, and attacks someone who cares about her with lethal attacks for saying nice things. She has problems and is using me as a lifeline when all I did was get some guys off her back and got my ass beat when I was three. Not once has she helped me! Not like I was expecting her to fight a bunch of hate-driven fools, but she could have at least left me a gift or said something! But even when she trains to get strong, she doesn't change!" Naruto restated to his plump friend.

"The reason I love Fu is because we've experienced the same torment, I love her because she's funny, she's always there for me, she's cute and has a contagious laugh and personality, she doesn't hide her feelings and doesn't need me to make decisions for her. She's the first person my age to actually like me, accept me, hug me, play with me, and…" Naruto then began to cry.

"She is my heart, my light! Not even just her, Karumi too! If Karumi and Fu had never appeared in my life, if Fu had never given me and Karumi this sense of purpose to actually try and get strong… to protect those we care about no matter the cause… I would have been an empty husk hellbent on revenge for what this village has done to me! If anything were to happen to either Fu or Karumi, I would destroy everything and everyone! Including myself!" Naruto finished.

It was completely silent as everyone heard what Naruto said.

"Am I really that important to you Naru?" Asked Fu.

Naruto blushed as he realized he wasn't silent at all and didn't really know what to say.

"I… uh… Yeah. You are." Naruto said meekly as he hoped Fu didn't think he was some type of freak like Hinata, only to get pushed into the water by a familiar force.

He felt his lips on another pair of lips as Fu was kissing him under the water since everyone had their attention on them, unlike the first time they kissed there.

Parting lips, Fu motioned for them to go back up as she couldn't breathe, Naruto not realizing this problem as his lungs were non-existent even though he could breathe in air too.

Emerging from the water, Fu breathed in air greedily while Naruto began laughing, but unlike before when he would laugh, it sounded more childish, more genuine, more real. If he claimed Fu's giggles were contagious, then he proved that his laughter was more of a disease as everyone, but Hinata was laughing.

"Alright! Time to return to the Academy!" called Iruka who appeared in a leaf shunshin.

"Hai Iruka-sensei!" answered everyone as Naruto created a giant pixel hair dryer for them and their clothes, all traces of paint and water gone off their bodies.

As everyone put their clothes back on, they returned to the Academy.

(Academy)

They were now preparing for the sparring matches. Naruto looked over to see Sasuke, Sakura, and most of the Sasuke Fanclub glaring holes through him. You see, the paint Naruto used for the obstacle course reacts terribly when it makes contact with soap, foreign chemicals, and other cleansing products and spreads out instead of coming off.

This, in turn, ruined their clothes and hair which they used such products on. Sasuke and Sakura had on new clothes after running back to their houses, but now Sasuke's hair was neon-blue while Sakura had dark-green spots in her pink hair. The others don't matter.

As the Friend group listened and watched the civilian-born students fight, they noted how some did better than the others whilst ignoring any stupid and poor attempts at catfights as not even the fangirls could get that right.

"Karumi and Sakura!" called Iruka.

"Oh-my-fucking-god…" Karumi blanched.

She wasn't worried as she could easily knock out the pink banshee, the only problem was that her fists were not faster than the holler monkey's screeches. So, this was gonna hurt no matter what.

(Author's note: I'm not typing Sakura's lines anymore, I actually got diarrhea from that shit… or it might have been something I ate. Regardless, I'm still not doing it unless I feel it is necessary.)

As Karumi and Sakura step into the circle and begrudgingly make the Seal of Confrontation, Sakura screeches about how she was doing this for Sasuke and runs at Karumi with a sloppy punch.

Karumi side-stepped so hard that she ended up on her tiptoes on the edge of the inner rim of the circle. But that's all she had to do as the force and range of Sakura's punch landed her out of the ring, giving Karumi the win.

'I nearly lost focus and fell out of the ring because of that screeching bitch damaging my beautiful ears and disorienting my brilliant mind! I'm putting a muzzle on her whenever I get the chance.' inwardly ranted Karumi who just left the ring since she had already won.

"Ino and Hinata!" called Iruka as the bandaged blonde mind walker and pale-eyed stalker walked into the ring.

Ino attempted to perform the Seal of Confrontation, only for Hinata to get in her clan's fighting stance and charge her, prompting Ino to jump back.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Ino shouted.

Hinata didn't answer as she continued her rush at the platinum blonde. It quickly turned into a dance as every time Hinata would strike, Ino would dodge. It was clear to most that Hinata was trying to end Ino quickly with how fast she was going, but it was also clear that she was not used to her clan's style of fighting as it was too stiff for a girl of her stature.

Just as it looked like Ino screwed up and tripped, Hinata went in for a Jyuken strike, only to get kicked in the chin by Ino.

Ino then kicked her again in the stomach and proceeded to kick her there some more. Ino had her back bent at an angle to where she could see Hinata and a bit of her own chest and had her left leg firmly on the ground. She was always good with her right hand and it seemed to be the same case with her right leg.

Hinata fell to the ground after all the kicks. Ino then stomped hard on Hinata's appendix as she jumped with both legs and performed a high jump kick to the Hyuuga's torso that greatly damaged the heiress.

Ino landed away perfectly. Though the damage done to Hinata wasn't significant in others' opinions and even her own opinion, luckily, for the price of the lack of damage came the buff in the knockback and disorientation as when Hinata got off the ground, she couldn't focus.

Hinata, enraged, cried out "8 Trigrams, 32 Palms" as she rushed at Ino, only for Ino to jump high and kick Hinata in the chest with both feet, drop-kicking Hinata out of the ring as her head landed out of it.

"Ino is the winner!" announced Iruka.

Ino then turned her gaze to Sakura as she gestured to her that she was next, giving the pinkette many chills down her spine. Ino then walked out of the ring.

Shikamaru and Choji would have gone if they hadn't chosen to forfeit the match because they were best friends. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been fair to Shikamaru who was currently sleeping on said big-boned teen's stomach (NO SHIKA-X-CHOJI) since Naruto wouldn't give him the pixel pillow because the blonde feared Shikamaru's soul would leave his body after resting on the heavenly soft pixels too many times.

"Sasuke Uchiha vs. Fu Uzumi?!" Announced Iruka in shock as he explicitly made it clear that Sasuke was not allowed to be anywhere near Naruto or Fu after the first, and hopefully last incident.

"Hmmph! Ready to give up wench?" Sasuke retorted to Fu smugly.

"You know what? At first, I was going to give up since I didn't want anything to do with your ass… but now…" Fu got up and walked up in Sasuke's face. "-I'm finna beatch yo ass!"

Naruto pulled out a boombox that played a catchy tune while Karumi held a mic, ready to sing the lyrics of the song:

("Mama Said Knock You Out". by - LL Cool J)

As the raven-haired avenger and the minty-green-haired jinchuriki stepped into the ring, Sasuke began by taunting and insulting Fu to get her to attack him first. He then started to insult her friends and say things about her being an outcast for being sent here, betrayed by her village.

The only reaction he got from Fu was her getting in her fighting stance (a loose boxer style), several veins and tick marks bulging from her face, strong chakra surrounding her, and her eyes becoming a demonic mixture of cerulean blue and golden yellow.

Sasuke, now irritated by Fu's resistance, charged at her in impatience. He went in to punch her, only for Fu to jab him in the face.

He tried to refocus his vision to glare down at the dark-skinned female, only to get jabbed three times in the stomach and sucker punched in the jaw.

Sasuke tried to sweep her off her feet. He succeeded… not! In reality, Fu performed a backflip just as soon as Sasuke's leg were inches from her legs and was in a leaning handstand. She then did a heavy axe kick as she slammed one of her raised legs down where Sasuke was.

She missed and got back in position.

Instinctively, she back fisted something that appeared behind her before it could do something. She had inadvertently back-fisted Sasuke in the nose as he stumbled back in shock.

Turning around, Fu then rapidly jabbed him several times in the face. She was not letting up and was only getting faster. Sasuke wasn't given time to recover as he could feel his brain getting jumbled in his skull by Fu's barrage of punches. Fu ends the relentless assault with a Jawbreaker, narrowly getting Sasuke out the ring.

But before Sasuke could fall out, Fu walked out of the ring.

Everyone gasped as they were perplexed. Why did she walk out and give Sasuke the win?

"I gave up because I don't view this as a victory or a fight, I only fought you because I wanted to beat your ass for talking too much." Fu explained as she walked back to her boyfriend and sister-figure.

"Nice." replied Naruto.

"Thanks." Fu accepted.

Sasuke walked out of the ring, anger coursing through his veins and bitter to the very end. He would plan to get the girl killed, but for now, he would lick his wounds as he walked back in line.

"Naruto and Sai!" announced Iruka as this would be the final assessment fight until Graduation Day.

Before entering the circle, Naruto looks at Sai. "How do you wanna do this my boi?" He asked the pale-skinned youth.

"How do you want to do this?" Sai asked.

Naruto then looked to the ring, then at Iruka.

"Can I extend the size of the ring?" Naruto requested.

"Naruto… I don't think I should allow-" Iruka paused when he gazed back into Naruto's eyesight. (Eyesight really makes sense since it's one eye.)

A big, cute, watery, kitten eye. Tiny, quivering, sad lips shaped like a baby kitten's mouth. And having shrunk from 5 foot 5, down to 3 foot 6, making him look like a toddler.

"Pwease Iwuka-sensei…" Naruto pleaded as crocodile tears slid out his lone eye.

Iruka wasn't completely fooled, but saw no harm in letting Naruto extend the size of the fighting circle, and it was the last fight… besides, with the exception of the Daimyo's wife's demon cat, Tora, Iruka actually had a soft spot for kittens.

"I guess I can allow it… but only this once." Iruka permitted. He also took note that Naruto called him sensei and was a little happy that Naruto showed him some respect. He did earn it after all.

Returning back to normal as if he never turned into a partial baby kitten, Naruto excitedly aimed his arm toward the ground the circle was on. He then broke the area down and began manipulating the calculations and code.

Once it was down, the circle's size increased from 30 feet in diameter to 70.

'I might ask him to keep it like that.' thought Iruka.

Naruto: at first, he hated Konoha and wanted nothing to do with it, waiting for the day it would crumble and burn to the ground. But now, it was clear that the boy could be considered a hypocrite. He had did a lot for the village by simply improving the Academy's curriculum by breaking down, fixing, and/or removing the key components that ruined the education system: favoritism, babying, lies, criticism, fangirls, biased teachers, and giving the Hokage a backbone.

But don't get him wrong, he hates the village, but not the place itself. Konoha, the village in particular was beautiful, a place many could visit and subsequently move into. But because of the corruption caused by its villagers and certain shinobi, the masses of death, and the enemies that want it destroyed, it had become… ugly in Naruto's sense of reason.

While some of its people are good, want to do their best for the village, and genuinely like the blonde, there were too many cons against the pros.

(Back to the battlefield)

Sai and Naruto entered the ring and performed the seal of confrontation.

Naruto had a cheeky smile on his face while the edges of Sai's lips curled a bit to make a small smile, his true smile.

They jumped away from each other, Sai got into the level 2 fighting style that was taught in Danzo's ROOT program, but he changed it a bit so it wouldn't be recognizable. Strangely, the bastardized style he was in fit him well.

Naruto got into a stance, but it looked too relaxed to actually be threatening. He stood with his legs spread out a bit, he was slightly crouched down, and had his arms spread out a bit. Naruto called this stance "File #4: 194-928-0010".

It felt like moments of them staring at each other, looking at each other like prey, though it had only been a few seconds.

Sai rushed at Naruto. Naruto prepared for the attack as his arms broke down into pixels. This time, they were orange and glowing brighter.

Some pixels stayed, replacing Naruto's arms with pixelated cubes, looking somewhat like cubic skeletal arms.

Sai pulled out his tanto and slashed at Naruto horizontally, Naruto blocked with his right arm. It clashed with the tanto as it was as hard and sturdy as the blade.

It quickly became a dance as Sai would perform slashes at speeds that would be hard even for someone with a 2-tomoe Sharingan to follow. Naruto would block and dodge all of the attacks as he was using this as one of the many learning experiences he and many others needed to learn: dodging.

While this was happening, the orange pixels in the air would hurdle themselves at Sai. Sai quickly learned that deflecting them was bad for business. The second one of them attacked him from the side and he prepared his tanto to smack it away, it broke a piece of his tanto and he was forced to dodge but was a little too late.

The pixel injured and burned his skin, making a first-degree burn. Sai backflipped away, unknowingly dodging three fast ones that were hot incoming.

Just as one of the kids were going to call out Naruto for cheating, seven of the burning hot pixels attacked the blonde boy, Naruto dodging five of them while one smacked him in the right side of his face and the other cut and singed his jacket as it attacked with the pointed edge of itself.

Naruto then rushed Sai. To say the blonde was unpredictable was truly an understatement. Whenever Naruto would throw a punch, he would kick instead. The same could be said whenever Naruto attempts to kick and Sai would feel Naruto's fist in his gut.

Naruto was now on the offensive and Sai was put on the defensive. But in truth, they were both on the defensive as the true pain in the ass were the burning-hot pixels that didn't seem to be obeying Naruto's control.

"How are you capable of fighting when you have your pixels roaming about and attacking us? How and why are they attacking both of us and not just me?" Sai asked the blonde.

"I'm using one of the laws of my domain, my laws don't just effect others, I can have it so that they can effect me too. It's a command… we have to fight until one of us gets knocked out or pushed out of the ring. If we stop fighting then the pixels will bombard us all at once, whoever is the aggressor will be the primary target and will be pushed into having to evade and fight at the same time." Naruto explained.

It was like a game with the punishment being getting burned.

"It's easy for me to fight without needing to concentrate on them if they are on autopilot commands!" he shouted as he went for a slashing motion with his hand. Sai dodged as he viewed that Naruto's fingernails were sharpened and lengthened similar to steel nails.

In return, several pixels attacked.

Naruto listened for them as they made a subtle sound when they charged. Naruto moved to the left and the right as if he was in a dance.

He bobbed and weaved out of the way just slightly enough to where the pixels would barely graze him, being nearly inches away from burning his hoodie.

While this was happening, Sai would take the opportunity to attack him, stabbing with his tanto where Naruto was. This created a challenge for Naruto and Sai as Naruto had to dodge both Sai and the pixels whilst Sai had to get clean shots in while avoiding the pixels.

Everyone watched the dangerous game play out in mixes of shock, worry, amazement, joy, awe, jealousy, rage, or disregard.

Karumi was looking on with pride. To see her little brother figure having turned something that could seem like a game and turn it into a training simulation or a death trap brought joy to her face. She knew for certain that Naruto could make this much worse for himself and Sai, but held back since Sai wasn't used to this.

If she had to rate Naruto's level of power, it would be easily above ANBU. Naruto took things to the extreme as he took note of the subtle flaws ninjas have on the battlefield. Many consist of the lack of stealth and tactics, strength and restraint, dedication and humbleness, and awareness and speed. Many ninjas stick primarily to the use of chakra too much to realize that they have many other resources in their arsenal.

This includes bloodline users, the worst of the bunch. For example, the Hyuga clan prides itself on their family's taijutsu and dojutsu to the point that they refuse to learn anything outside of the clan's style, including genjutsu and ninjutsu.

Even then, two primary issues that Naruto had been continuously repeating were the use of hand seals and calling out the technique you use after using hand seals.

Why?

Making hands seals wastes time and leaves you empty-handed if the enemy is faster and orientates in kenjutsu or taijutsu. If you want to control the Jutsu you want to use, get better at more than just chakra control exercises, try and make it so that it requires fewer hand signs.

And now for the main point of the explanation: if ninjas are meant to be silent, quick, stealthy, efficient, and deadly assassins, WHY! THE FUCK! DO THEY CALL OUT WHAT JUTSU THEY ARE USING FOR EVERYONE IN A 30-METER RADIUS TO HEAR?!

Unless you're an idiot or disabled mentally, you have no excuse to be unable to hear the technique coming from miles away unless there is no sound, no excuse to think the techniques won't mean shit if you didn't listen to the name, and most certainly no excuse to not prepare to counter, defend, or DODGE the jutsu when motherfuckers are calling them out like a father telling his son to get ready to catch a baseball with a baseball glove.

That is why Naruto prefers to put himself in maniacal death traps like the watered-down one he is using in his match with Sai. It forces him to be more efficient so he doesn't end up like most arrogant fools who end up dead within seconds. He only talks shit when it's obvious he will win, but he doesn't stand there and belittle his opponents by saying fighting him would be a fatal mistake. He will beat your ass and demonstrate to you personally why it was a mistake to fight him.

*CRUNCH!*

And he doesn't play.

Sai had just suffered a blow to his ribs and Naruto was forcing his fist deep in and twisting it.

Sai coughed up blood as this was a part of Naruto's fighting style: …nothing…

Naruto's fighting style was not a style at all, it was a jack of all trades. Many styles put into one as Naruto is forced to adapt to create combos.

Naruto's main choices in fighting styles included boxing, rapid-fire attacks, hidden blades, speed, and disorientation. A frontline and long-ranged fighter all at once.

Just now, Naruto was shooting his sharpened nails at Sai. When Sai wasn't looking, a heat pixel struck him on the side. Naruto closed the distance and that's when he punched Sai in the ribs.

"You've grown better Sai." complimented Naruto.

"Tha-Thanks…" grunted Sai in pain.

"Still gonna keep going? Or did I damage you too much?" asked Naruto. His voice sounded mocking, but you could hear the concern.

"I'll be fine." spoke Sai, only for him to cough up more blood.

"No you fucking aren't!" Naruto exclaimed as Sai fell to his knees.

"Iruka! Call the match!" "DOMAIN OFF!"

The invisible barrier broke down and evaporated as his arms returned to normal. The hostile pixels reverted back to normal and were put back in place.

"Naruto is the winner! Now get Sai to nurse Shizune quickly!" Iruka announced.

"Shit! You-Don't-Gotta-Tell-Me-Twice!" Naruto said fast as he disappeared into the Academy with Sai in tow.

Iruka then ushered the class back inside to get ready to perform the Academy Three Ninjutsu.

(Nurse's Office)

"Yo!" called out Naruto to Shizune as he entered the office and rested Sai on a medical bed.

"Oh! Hello Naruto-kun!" Greeted Shizune, quickly shifting into worry mode when seeing Sai's injuries and got to healing him.

"I said no suffixes!" Naruto argued.

If I were to range Naruto's relation with Shizune, I'd say around normal friends. Naruto didn't really trust her since Shizune was the "Legendary Sucker's" apprentice, but after getting an assessment of who Shizune is as a person and how she reacted to him, he was more open to her.

Like usual, Shizune was incapable of making physical contact with the blonde as Naruto's body broke down and away from her hand when it came down to pat him on the shoulder, only putting himself back together when Shizune took her hand away when it reached to where Naruto's heart would be if it and his shoulder wasn't spread around the room.

"So, what happened now?" Shizune asked.

"Sparring gone too rough." Naruto explained.

"Jeez! Can you take it easy for once?" Shizune exclaimed.

"I've always been taking it easy." Naruto responded. "Sai, how are you doing?" he asked.

"Better." The pale-skinned ink user answered.

"Shizune, can you heal him enough so that he can focus his chakra for the Academy's triple shit Jutsu?" Naruto requested.

"The Academy three ninjutsu cannot be that terrible." spoke Shizune.

Naruto and Sai gave her a look that read "You can't be serious."

"The only good Jutsu is the Kawarimi no Jutsu. The Henge no Jutsu is useless since you can differentiate the nature of the chakra from your comrades if they transform into your comrades, non-living objects have no chakra, and you don't actually transform into anything or anyone, it's like wearing a blanket with the image of something on it. And the Bunshin no Jutsu is the absolute worst! Fake clones that can't do anything but look threatening, requires low chakra reserves, and don't have shadows." Naruto broke down the Jutsus from best to worst.

"When you put it like that… I can't even defend the other two." Shizune admitted.

"I think I can move now." Sai informed as Shizune ceased healing him and he got up.

Sai gripped his left side where his ribs were broken as they were still vibrating with pain.

"I'd recommend you put some ice on that and take some days off." Shizune recommended.

Naruto then supported Sai as he walked him back to the classroom.

"Thanks, Shizune!" Naruto thanked.

"Thank you for helping me." Sai thanked.

"You boys don't play too rough now!" Shizune bid farewell.

(Hallway)

"So… you sure you don't have any love interests?" Naruto asked Sai for the umpteenth time.

"Yes Naruto, I don't have a love interest in anyone. I just don't understand anything about love or likes. It's hard for me." Sai explained as best he could.

"You know, if you were into boys, I wouldn't think of you differently." Naruto assured.

Sai then took a moment to actually think about what Naruto said.

"I… just don't know… I feel as if the person that I'm looking for is just not here." Sai estimated.

"Hey." Naruto patted Sai on the back. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the perfect one for you out there." Naruto reassured. "I'll be with you all the way, no homo though."

Naruto was purely straight and had zero interest in males, but if one of his friends were gay, lesbian, or Bisexual, he'd help them find the person for them.

"Well, what do you specifically find intriguing about a person, try making a list." Naruto advised.

Sai took some time to think.

"I like long hair…"

"Okay?"

"I prefer someone who is commonly timid but can be confident just as commonly or even more if pushed…"

"Umm hmm?"

"Black is my favorite color…"

'That doesn't sound right in this context but I'll hold my judgment.'

"And… I've started to feel these weird feelings when… don't get mad at me… but when I viewed Karumi's rear end, I had this weird feeling coursing through me."

"..."

"And I personally like the cold as it makes my skin feel good."

Naruto took Sai's preferences into account and tried to find the person that was right for him. He used a matchmaking app in his mind/system as he put in the list of things Sai likes in a person.

Naruto may have information about all the events that happen in several animes, or in this case, several other dimensions, but he has zero knowledge about anything from his own story, the only way he can learn of the many characters of the Naruto series, his world, is by meeting them and using the ability to learn about everything the Old Man had experienced, including the truth of his family.

This would be different since he is trying to find the face of the person Sai was looking for. Whether this would be pure coincidence or whatever the fuck, he would enjoy the interaction if it ever comes.

Suddenly, Naruto got the image of the character he was looking for. That's it, no name, no further information.

"You'll find that person Sai. Now, let's get back to class." Naruto recommended.

(Class)

After entering the classroom, Iruka told Sai to start his assessment of the Academy Jutsu.

Sai swapped places with a log, then transformed into Iruka, and created 3 illusion clones.

Naruto was currently waiting for when he would be called. He was in a tiny cardboard box as he was listening to some music with his headphones.

Fu had the box on her lap as she watched Naruto, in his plushie form, enjoy himself with music. Naruto cartoonishly transforms into this a lot. Whenever Fu would have a nightmare, Naruto would turn into this form and comfort Fu at night. At first, he did this by accident, but he slowly got better at manipulating his body.

It's a weird thing to see one of the strongest beings who is capable of turning everything around himself against you, turn into a cute plushie, and for his girlfriend to play with him.

"Naruto! You're up!" called Iruka.

Naruto leaped out of the box after Fu patted him on the head, refigured himself back to normal, and walked into the room where the test was being taken.

"Alright! First, I'll need to see you perform the Kawarimi no Jutsu." Iruka ordered.

Naruto then did his special Kawarimi as his body broke down quickly and was replaced by the chair Mizuki would have been in if he wasn't taken to the Hospital by ANBU late.

Iruka looked to his side to see no one, his vision was blocked by two white hands with the images of advertisements on them.

When Naruto uses his Kawarimi, he replaces himself randomly and the only thing left could be considered a shell or decoy. Naruto can control when to dispel the decoy to reveal what it swapped with. And Naruto doesn't appear instantly after the swapping technique is used, he could be anywhere afterward. The flaw was that he doesn't form completely and it takes him some seconds to form his hands and legs.

(Had to add a nerf at some point)

"Great. Now perform the Henge no Jutsu." ordered Iruka.

Naruto then thought about who to transform into.

Naruto then burst into pixels. The pixels lessened and changed color. In a matter of seconds, they reformed. What stood in front of Iruka was a blue, bipedal hedgehog who wore red sneakers and white gloves and was wiggling his finger in a "no" gesture at Iruka.

The form then broke down and shifted and the figure turned into a short man with a mustache who wore blue overalls, a red shirt, white gloves, brown shoes, and a red cap with a "M" on it. He jumped in the air and punched a yellow box with a question mark on each surface while saying: "Ya-Hoo!"

The person and pixels shifted again until becoming a tall, brown, bipedal robotic bear with a top hat and a microphone. What freaked Iruka out was the weird music that played and the realistic eyes when Naruto transformed into that.

Naruto transformed one more time and changed back to normal, but he was now in a chibi form.

Naruto started to do a little dance while singing: "I'm in da middle of a blizzard-"

(Song reference: "Blizzard" by Daichi Miura (Chibi fighterz model of Goku dancing meme))

"Okay, now perform the Bunshin no Jutsu." Iruka instructed.

Naruto looked at Iruka with mischievous intent.

"Iruka, does it have to be the sucky, normal Bunshin?" Naruto asked.

Iruka pulled out a FAT book and took a moment to check through the book with the title "Da Rules" as he read the section for the Bunshin portion of the test.

"Hmm… seems it's allowed. But what other clone techniques do you know Naruto?" Iruka confirmed and asked.

Naruto then started giggling like a child.

"It's not a Jutsu, I'll tell you that." Naruto then started to break two pixels on his body off.

"What the…" Iruka stammered.

One of the pixels began to multiply rapidly.

The next thing Iruka knew, a second Naruto was beside the original Naruto, but unlike the original, this clone didn't have the white mass that covered the right side of his face.

"Yo! Where the hell am I?" the clone asked.

"Welcome other me!" Naruto greeted.

"Hmm? Oh Damn! What da fuck happened to yo face!" the clone exclaimed in worry.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"The right side of yo face! Why is it melting? I can see bones!" the clone pointed out.

Iruka and OG Naruto were confused. Iruka couldn't see what the clone meant since Naruto still had the white mass on his face, and Naruto would have felt his face melting if that were the case.

Just then, another clone appeared. This one had the white mass over his face like OG Naruto, but he looked greatly different in animation.

"Howdy!" the clone greeted.

"Woah! Who are you?" the first clone asked.

"Jee-Wizz! I really don't know. But all I need to know is that I'm here and I'm happy for it!" the goofy-looking clone stated as he snaked his arms around the first clone in a bone-crushing hug.

"ACK!" the clone yelled as OG Naruto and Iruka winced from hearing the cracking.

"Oh… sorry…" The goofy clone apologized as he grabbed both the head and feet of the first clone and straightened his bones back in place, his arms stretching like a cartoon gig to do so.

"OW! WHAT THE-" The clone stopped his yelling as he felt his back and realized that it felt good and so he relaxed greatly. "-Hey… that actually felt really good."

"This… is… EXTRAORDINARY!" Iruka exclaimed as he witnessed the clones.

"Physical contact, separate minds, can last more than one attack, auto regeneration, different abilities! While the appearances could use a little work, these clones are near-perfect!" Iruka then turned his gaze to Naruto.

"Why have you never used this technique before Naruto?" he asked. Every time Naruto had to perform the Bunshin no Jutsu, the technique would always fail in terms of dead clones or remnants of a clone.

"That's because I just thought about doing this today, and since it's not a Jutsu, I was in no danger when testing it." Naruto explained.

"So, like, are we not real?" the first clone asked.

"Not really? I mean, you guys exist, but you guys are clones… but you are a part of me so I guess you are still real, it's just that we are separated at this point in time." Naruto tried to explain.

"Well that's a weirdy deerdy." stated the goofy clone.

"Yeah… so do I pass Iruka?" asked Naruto as his clones looked at the academy instructor expectantly.

"Most certainly!" Iruka then marked down the grades, but watered it down. He knew Naruto's plan to just be "average" so knew what grade to give him: 80/100.

"YES!" cheered the Naruto's as they high-fived.

"You're going to do well in the Graduation Exams Naruto, do me and Hokage-sama proud." Iruka assured the boy.

"Just make sure Mizuki isn't the one testing me, I trust him as much as it is believable that Jiraiya is a bit of a pervert." Naruto complained.

"Okay, but now what?" started clone #1.

"Yeah! Are we just gonna hang around 'er what?" clone #2 shouted.

"I mean… you guys can chill for a bit until you return." Naruto suggested.

The two clones then exited the testing room, passing by all the academy students who were confused by the weird clones of Naruto.

"Hmmph! Seems like the dobe failed again!" Sasuke mocked.

"Hah! Serves that idiot right! They look almost as stupid as him too!" Sakura exclaimed.

The two clones looked at each other with something going through their mind.

'You wanna let that slide?' #1 thought.

''Ell Nah!' thought #2.

The clones then looked at Sasuke and Sakura and rushed them.

#1 pinned Sasuke on the ground while #2 contorted Sakura's body into a bow. #1 then loaded Sasuke up on the banshee bow like an arrow.

Sasuke was shot like an emo arrow to who knows where while Sakura was left unconscious.

"Damn! My accuracy must be awfully-waffully. I was aiming for the sun." complained #2.

"It's not your accuracy that sucks dude. It was yo choice in bows." argued #1 as he pointed to Sakura.

#2 then gained a stat info window in his vision on Sakura and read how she will miss her attacks 99% of the time, regardless of receiving help or training, if she ever accepts either, which is 100% never going to happen.

"You don't have good eyes I see?" guessed #1.

"Damn you right! This fat foreheaded bitch sucks major dick-o-runi!" #2 raged as he stomps on Sakura repeatedly.

All the students began laughing at Sasuke and Sakura's misfortune and the antics of the clones.

"It's like Naruto never left!" chuckled Choji.

"I never did." stated Naruto as he was laughing after witnessing the action through his clones eyes.

"(sigh.) This is going to be a great rest of our lives." stated Karumi

(Bell Rings)

The students then ran outside to find their parents or caretakers as they went home.

Naruto, Karumi, and Fu teleport back to the Namikaze Estate, not bothering to open the gate as they just appeared inside.

Naruto looks out of the window to the front door.

(Author's note: the clones dispelled and returned to Naruto.)

"HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Naruto as he looked outside.

"Why are you yelling Naru- WHAT THE ACTUALLY HELL!?" exclaimed Fu.

Outside of the front of the Namikaze Estate was an absolute warzone. Dead, mutilated bodies around, ditches all over, trails of smoke.

"I was a little pissed." sheepishly spoke Karumi as she was on the couch and watching TV.

Naruto and Fu looked at each other in worry.

"Never fuck with Karumi?" Naruto asked.

"Never fuck with Karumi." confirmed Fu as they sat down in the living room and watched TV with their foxy sister.

"So… what do you guys wanna watch?" Karumi asked.

"Definitely not One Piece!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Not feeling Black Clover today." said Fu.

"And while I want to get on Bleach…" Karumi then started to get sad. "I think we all know what to watch."

Naruto and Fu started to tear up as they knew exactly what Karumi was talking about.

"Dragon Ball." stated all three.

"In memory of Akira Toriyama, the father of anime." said Naruto.

"You are the man, the god, who provided us something that no other can stand up to or copy as it has and will forever be within our hearts." Karumi stated matter of factly.

"Rest in Peace. You will forever be missed." Fu cried as Naruto handed her tissues to blow her nose on.

Karumi then selected "Dragon Ball" on HULU as the trio began watching.

This is not the end, I'm not stopping.

But seriously, pay your respects to Akira Toriyama.