"So...Hikigaya..." Hiratsuka lit up and took a puff of her cigarette as she held up Hachiman's paper, waving it around the air a bit. "Do you think this is funny or do you not think at all?"
Hachiman looks at her, clearly unfazed by the judging glare she's currently shooting him.
"On what matter...?" Hachiman asked, seemingly unaware of the fact or perhaps not really caring about the fact that the middle-aged teacher's frustration was slowly growing.
Hiratsuka unexpectedly smiles warmly at him but the tone she uses was clearly laced with sarcasm. "Aww aren't you cute...Pretending to be oblivious..." A tick mark forms on her forehead as she slams the paper down on the table hard. "Cut the bullshit you punk. You clearly know why you're here."
Hachiman looks on completely unintimidated. "Huh, smoking and swearing while in the presence of a student. You out for a suspension or a complete dismissal?"
"Shut up! I'm not gonna take that kinda attitude from you kid. Even if I do consider you my favorite." Hiratsuka retorted with a glare as Hachiman smirked a little. "And what are you smirking at?"
The fact that I'm your favorite maybe...I'm honestly touched..." Hachiman joked, earning a slight chuckle from Hiratsuka.
"There I admit it. You're my favorite but then again you already knew that didn't you." Hiratsuka shot Hachiman a look. "But don't think you're getting out of this little chat we're going to have. I still demand an explanation boy."
"In regards too..."
"This travesty you've submitted maybe?" Hiratsuka responded. "Now Hikigaya, please remind me what the assigned theme of the essay is?"
'Huh, has old age eroded your memory already Sensei?' Hachiman thought to himself.
"Well?"
"*Sigh* Write an essay titled 'Recount of past events in Hi-"
"In High School." Hiratsuka cut off. Throwing her cigarette into the Ashtray. "So why have you given me this instead?"
"What I gave you was an accurate recollection of some events that had transpired in high school." Hiratsuka shakes her head at the answer and chuckles bitterly.
"No that's not what you gave me...You gave me an accurate recollection of someone planning to become the God of the new world." Hiratsuka retorted. "Honestly forget the police, I should contact the Secret Service..."
Hachiman rolled his eyes at her statement. "Really? You're comparing me to Light Yagami? Aren't you a little too 'mature' for that kind of content?"
Hiratsuka raised a brow at the response. "I don't think I like the term you used. And what's that supposed to mean you brat?"
"Brat? Of course, you'd think that way Hiratsuka-Sensei. After all, when you compare our age difference you're practically a fos-" Before Hachiman could finish. A fist flew right by his face.
"Repeat that sentence. I dare you." Hiratsuka glared dangerously as a menacing aura surrounded her. Despite this usually terrifying sight, however, Hachiman is completely unfazed.
"Nice punch Sensei, I think you killed the fly buzzing near my ear..."
Hiratsuka ignored the sarcastic comment and looked at Hachiman with clear confusion. "Y-you're not afraid?"
"Hiratsuka-Sensei...I had the displeasure of being born with my mother's face and father's eyes. If anything. Smashing my face in might improve my looks." Hachiman joked to himself. "But in all seriousness do you truly think you'd get away with smashing a student's face?"
"Well...aren't you the little daredevil..." Hiratsuka sighed. "Dammit Hikigaya I'm trying here kid. High schoolers are normally social and at the prime of their lives, you on the other look like you're near the end of it. Even my pet fish has a better social life than you..."
"You make it sound like I have no friends." Hachiman said.
"Name one person in this school you consider a friend." Hiratsuka stared at him, awaiting an answer.
"Well there's Zaimokuza..."
"Ah yes, of course, general wind blade something...I have no idea what he calls himself but I know it's completely ridiculous." Hiratsuka puts a hand on her head. "Man...what am I gonna do with you?"
A lightbulb suddenly forms on Hiratsuka's head.
"I got it."
Meanwhile, Hachiman stares on with slight hesitation.
"Hikigaya, are you in a club?" Hiratsuka asked with a more friendly tone.
"I don't like where this is going." Hachiman comments.
"Just answer the question." Hiratsuka insists.
"Well was the Willy Wonka experience event worth the money?" Hachiman sarcastically asked.
"Yeah let's not bring that up please..." Hiratsuka sighs. "Can't believe I spent 35 pounds just to see an Oompa Loompa recreate Breaking Bad..."
"Cheer up Sensei I'm sure the rest of your trip went well..." Hachiman attempted to lift his teacher's spirits. "Didn't you meet a British guy there? I heard about your hot date."
"*Sigh* I did but we broke it off after he claimed that long-distance relationships wouldn't work out..." Hiratsuka sulked in self pity. "And he was such a hunk too..."
Hachiman looks on slightly amused. "Cheer up Sensei, if no man will date you I'm still available.."
Hiratsuka chuckles in response. "Just shut up you cheeky brat and come with me..."
Hiratsuka stands up and leads Hachiman to an isolated clubroom.
"Nice place." Hachiman comments. Hiratsuka rolls her eyes at the statement and opens the door, revealing the figure of a beautiful and elegant girl focused on a novel. A girl Hachiman knew all to well.
'Oh great. This should go well.' Hachiman thinks to himself bitterly as he observes his surroundings. 'What the hell is all this anyways?'
"Yukinoshita I'm coming in." Hiratsuka announced, walking into the room.
"You normally say that before you enter a room." Hachiman comments.
"Shut up brat..."
"Hiratsuka-Sensei. I believe I requested that you knock before entering." The girl, Yukinoshita Yukino said.
"Well there ain't a point if there's no response." Hiratsuka defended.
"That is because you enter the room before I can respond." She then turns her attention to Hachiman. "And who is this 'gentleman' you've brought before me?"
'Why do I get the feeling she's using that term ironically?' Hachiman thinks to himself. "I'm Hikigaya Hachiman from Class 2F."
Yukino nods, acknowledging his presence. "Hiratsuka-Sensei, may I inquire the reason on why you've brought Hikigaya-Kun to me?"
"Oh right." Hiratsuka clears her throat. "Basically, he's here to join your club."
Hachiman stares at her as if she's grown a second head.
"I need your help. We need your help. This kid has one twisted mentality that only you could fix."
Hachiman tries to protest. "Hold on a minute I never agreed to this."
Hiratsuka turns her head to Hachiman. "You didn't, this is your punishment for handing in that terrorist manifesto you call your essay earlier on. Protest if you want but in the end you still have to comply."
"Oh fantastic. So I'm in Purgatory now? Punishment for my sins in life?" Hachiman protests.
"Don't make it sound so awful kid. At least I'm still giving you an A in the end for that paper..."
An argument between student and teacher erupted before it was quickly cut off by two mere words.
"I refuse."
Hachiman and Hiratsuka halted their argument and stared at Yukino.
"I'm sorry what?" Hiratsuka asked.
"I said I refuse."
Hiratsuka begins to plead. "Oh come on Yukinoshita, Don't be like that. Can't you see this boy needs your help? Look how pathetic and creepy he is." Hachiman looks at Hiratsuka, clearly offended by her words.
"What a great way to help someone. Verbally abuse them...That's not bound to backfire in any way..." Hachiman retorts. Annoyed and offended by the claim.
Ignoring Hachiman's comments. Yukino replies firmly, bringing her arms up to her chest. "Apologies but I simply cannot allow this individual into my club. As you said, he's pathetic and creepy, and by the looks of his devious eyes. I already fear that my chastity may be compromised."
"Don't worry. If there was ever a scenario where I wanted to violate a girl. You wouldn't even be on my list. After all, if it's you in the scenario? Then beggars can be choosers." Hachiman retorts.
"Disrespectful cretin." Yukino glared.
"Ah. Hypocrisy, typical from someone as cold and miserable as you."
"Enough!" Hiratsuka broke up the fight. "Jeez Hikigaya did you have to go so far."
"I have a few more in the chamber." Hachiman boldly claimed. "Besides, weren't you verbally abusing me too?"
Hiratsuka looked a bit guilty upon hearing the accusation. "Well, I-"
"Don't bother apologizing to someone like him Hiratsuka-Sensei." Yukino glared in Hachiman's direction. "A pitiful and disrespectful wretch such as himself is beyond help."
"Both of you. Shut it!" Hiratsuka ordered. "*Sighs* Look, let's all agree what we all said was uncalled for alright? I'm not going to force anyone to apologize because I don't want another fight so why don't we go back to the original topic?"
"Fine." Hachiman and Yukino agreed.
"Great." Hiratsuka said. "Look Yukinoshita. Like it or not you're still going to have to accept Hikigaya into your club. Remember the rules for newly created clubs?"
"There are rules?" Hachiman asked. Confused by the revelation.
"Yeah. If a student formed club fails to acquire even a single member upon formation in the span of a month, then the club has to be shut down." Hiratsuka informs. "So you joining this club isn't just your punishment. It's Yukinoshita's silent plea for help too."
"Huh. I wonder why it's on the verge of closure. I'm sure verbal abuse by a girl colder than the artic itself is the new hot topic amongst high schoolers." Hachiman sarcastically comments.
Yukino glares at Hachiman for the comment but deep down she knows Hiratsuka is right.
"Fine..." Yukino reluctantly complies. "But only to save this club."
"Great." Hiratsuka smiles as she heads for the door. "This is good. You'll see, think of it as a learning experience."
"Learn what exactly? How to develop crippling depression in three weeks?"
"Say what you will Hikigaya. I got to get to a staff meeting in fifteen minutes. I'm counting on you Yukinoshita." Hiratsuka says before closing the door, Leaving the two loners alone in a room together.
Sorry for my absence over the past few months. I honestly wasn't in the mood to write recently. I was actually thinking of a way to approach a Hachiman that fights back without completely making him a different person. I'm not sure how I handled the character in this situation but I hope it was far better than how I did previously. Anyways I'll think of a way to approach future chapters. Thanks for the support and sorry for the wait.