"So Kaori? Why did you ask me to come here? A younger Hachiman a few years prior inquired. Standing in front of him was a cute girl with brown curly hair. Her expression and body language pretty much told Hachiman that she was feeling extremely nervous.
"I-I got something to tell you." The girl, Orimoto Kaori said, fiddling her thumbs.
"Go on then." Hachiman narrowed his eyes at her, wondering why she seemed so out of character today.
"I-I like you! Please make me your girlfriend!" She blurted out in a panic. Meanwhile, Hachiman had a look of complete disbelief.
"Y-you're kidding me...right?" Hachiman asked, his face filled with doubt. Kaori was after all a popular girl while he was a loser in the eyes of his judgemental peers.
"Wh-what?" Kaori was clearly confused by the unexpected response as Hachiman started to laugh, he was clearly amused.
"Man, you crack me up Kaori. That was a good one." Hachiman laughed, seemingly amused by Kaori's confession. "Well, anyways I'll see you tomorrow." As Hachiman turned around and waved the dumbfounded girl a farewell, his expression shifted to a frown as soon as his face wasn't visible.
'I'm sorry Kaori, but it's better if you chased someone else.' Hachiman thought to himself as he walked off, ignoring the look of heartbreak on the teary-eyed girl.
'I always wondered what on earth I did to make Kaori like me.' Hachiman frowned at the memory, surveying the empty room before him. He felt a strange sense of Deja Vu. 'Well, there's no point in pondering anymore I suppose...' Walking up to the table, Hachiman asked for permission to take a seat.
"Be my guest." Yukino said, her eyes not leaving her novel as Hachiman took a seat. An awkward silence passed by before she spoke again. "Well? Don't you have any questions for me?"
"I have several so why don't we start with the most obvious one." Hachiman said, surveying the room in confusion. "What is this? All of this?"
"Whatever do you mean exactly?" Yukino asked.
"This room maybe?" Hachiman sarcastically retorted. "What is this? A clubroom or a setting for an extremely inappropriate scenario?"
"Of course, perverted thoughts would be the first thing to enter your brain..." Yukino closes her book and gave Hachiman a judgemental gaze. "So why don't we play a game?"
"A game?" Hachiman asked.
"Yes, specifically one to stimulate your brain." Yukino said.
"Let me guess, you want me to guess what kind of club this is?" Hachiman asked with a deadpan expression.
"A wise deduction for an individual with such a rotten mindset." Yukino said.
"Right...because the mindset of a girl that spends her afternoon in complete solitude in an empty room is such a great improvement..." Hachiman retorts.
"Say what you will Hikigaya-kun." Yukino said coldly. "But I insist you make a guess."
Letting out an annoyed sigh, Hachiman decided to play along. "Fine. If I'm going to be stuck in this sad liminal space I might as well oblige." Thinking to himself for a moment. Hachiman came up with a conclusion. "Maybe something about providing help to others?"
Yukino's eyes slightly widen by that response. "And how did you come by that conclusion?"
Chuckling, Hachiman retorted. "Well maybe it's simply because you act like you're some sort of superior being compared to others? My reasoning is supported by the fact that you're an entitled brat with no manners whatsoever when you reflect on our conversation a few minutes ago. Quite a cliche if you ask me..."
"And here I was thinking you'd have a semblance of a functioning brain." Yukino retorted, annoyed and offended by Hachiman's accusations. "But it seems even you believe every single rumor that enters that rotten head of yours."
"Rumors? Really?" Hachiman asked with a slight chuckle of disbelief. "I don't have to be one of the Gossip girls to know what you're like..." Hachiman rolled his eyes as he spoke. "I was a literal witness to your personality earlier on."
Yukino glared at Hachiman's direction momentarily before composing herself and returning to her cool and uncaring personality. "Hikigaya-kun." She said in a calm and dignified manner. "Pardon my personal question but may I ask? When was the last time you spoke to a member of the opposite gender?"
Hachiman stared at Yukino with clear suspicion. "Why the sudden change of topic?"
"Just answer my question if you would."
Despite doubting her intentions, Hachiman chose to entertain her question. "Fine. About a week ago."
Responding with a small nod, Yukino continued. "And may I inquire what had transpired? Just tell me what occurred, no matter how seemingly petty it may be."
Letting out another sigh, this time out of reluctance. Hachiman continued. "Well. I was at the kindergarten near the school."
"Hmm. I see.." Yukino said. "It seems your desperation to interact with a member of the opposite gender has led you to commit pedophiliac acts. I'm starting to feel that my safety is slowly being compromised."
"Flattering yourself much Yukinoshita-san? Rest assured. I'm may have low standards when it comes to women but even low standards has it's limits." Hachiman retorted. "Now stop interrupting me..."
(A week ago)
"Hey thanks again for picking up Keika for me Hikigaya." A girl's voice can be heard on the other end of the call. "I've been so busy with work recently."
"No problem, Keika's like a little sister to me. It's the least I could do." Hachiman replied as he walked to the kindergarten. "Anyway I won't take up more of your time. See you around Kawashima."
"Wait Kawashi-" Hachiman ends the calls before the speaker on the other side could finish her piece. As Hachiman walked past the gate, he immediately hears the insults of a rather chubby little girl in the playground."
"Pedo!" The chubby little girl said. Earning Hachiman's attention.
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
"Pedo! You're a Pedo!" The girl mocked.
Laughing a little, Hachiman responded with a small smile. "Don't worry little girl, I'm a pedo remember? I'm looking for little kids, not baby whales. Besides, I don't think my van can withstand your weight chubby." Hachiman retorts, walking into the building and waiting outside a classroom.
An adorable little girl rushed out of the classroom and enveloped Hachiman's leg in a tight and joyful hug.
"Haa-chan!" Keika Kawasaki cutely said with a bright smile."
"Hey Keika. Come on, let's get you home." Hachiman ruffles Keika's hair as he leads her out of the gate. As they walk, Hachiman feels Keika clinging onto him tightly. "Keika what's wrong?" Hachiman knelt down to her level and noticed Keika looking rather afraid.
"I-I'm scared Haa-chan." Keika said.
"Scared? of what?" Hachiman asked, clearly concerned for his pseudo little sister. Keika nervously points at the fat child from earlier hitting another child with a stick.
"That kid?" Hachiman asked. Keika nods her head rapidly in response. She looked as though she was about to cry. "What did she do?"
"She...she hit me." Keika cries a little as she confesses.
Shooting a look of disdain at the fat child, Hachiman walked over to the child the fat girl was previously bullying. "Hey kid, what's her name?" He inquired. Pointing at the little girl.
"That's Izumi." The child said. "She's so mean mister."
"Don't worry about it kid, I'll handle this." Hachiman reassured the child as he walked towards Izumi. "Hey! Your name's Izumi right?"
The girl, Izumi walked up to the gate and sneered at him. "How do you my name mister pedo?"
Crouching to her level, Hachiman said with a slightly menacing tone. "That's easy Izumi. You see i'm not just a pedo. I'm also an escaped lunatic from the asylum. I was there because my favorite thing to do was to murder fat little children like yourself."
Being a child, Izumi was immediately convinced and terrified of the false revelation.
"So here's the deal alright, you'll leave Keika and all the other kids alone from now on. Because if I hear a single complaint, I will go to your house and before you ask. Yes I do know where you live, and when I get to your house. I'll bash your stupid head in with a hammer. Do you understand me?"
Being completely afraid at this point. Izumi fearfully nodded.
"Good. Now shoo." Izumi quickly ran off as soon as Hachiman ordered. "Oh and lay off the sweets. You look like you're a Snicker bar away from a heart attack."
"So your response to resolving a case of bullying from a child is with threats of murder?" Yukino said, judging by her tone she was clearly disgusted by Hachiman's approach.
"Well it's like what my father always said. 'The youth has to learn eventually'." He uncaringly retorts.
Shaking her head in disapproval. Yukino sighed. "Truly I have my work cut out for me. But as a volunteer, it is my duty to rectify your rotten personality."
"Sure...because you're just a ray of sunshine aren't you..."
Ignoring Hachiman's comment. She continues. "As developed nations offer aid and shelter to those who have no homes to return to, the concept is rather similar with popular female students like myself offering aid to unpopular male students to improve their character."
'Right...popular...' Hachiman thought with a judgemental gaze. 'Because you have such an active social life...'
"Which is why I welcome you Hikigaya Hachiman to the Service Club. I hope you enjoy your stay." Yukino finished. Getting sarcastic claps in response.
"Wow what a brilliant little speech you just gave me. I already feel so enlightened..." He sarcastically states, getting a look of disdain in response. "I'm sure my time here will be eventful."
"Spare me your sarcasm Hikigaya-kun." Yukino said, feeling slightly humiliated by the reaction. "If you have something to say then just say it."
Taking a deep breath. Hachiman started off. "You know, my grandfather has this belief that one's room is a reflection of your soul."
"Where are going with this?"
"I suppose I'm left to wonder how a soulless creature of the cold like yourself can help others when you can't even keep your own club afloat." Hachiman finishes. "Because from where I'm sitting, the only thing you could do that would somewhat qualify as 'help' would have to be convincing a depressed person that suicide is the true key to joy..."
"Because you're such an expert on the subject aren't you!" Yukino said in an unexpected tone of anger although this did nothing to halt Hachiman's barrage of criticism.
"Well. I do know that if I were to create a club focused on helping others. I must first understand what I'm actually doing. Because from what Hiratsuka-sensei told me before she left for her meeting. You never helped anyone did you? In the span of an entire month, you failed to help even a single person in 30 whole days."
"And where is the proof to back your claim?" Yukino glared hatefully.
"Your reaction is proof enough but if you want more evidence, why don't I tell you my own personal theory?" Hachiman suggested snarkily.
"By all means." Yukino retorted, the venom in her voice clear as day.
"Think about it for a moment if you would Yukinoshita-san. If you did help people, why doesn't anyone in this school ever talk about it? I'm sure if you did resolve requests from other students. This club wouldn't be so empty and lifeless. It may even be bustling with many members considering your reputation in the school."
Yukino kept silent as she stared at Hachiman with hate. This is after all the first time someone had dared speak to her in such a manner.
"But do you know what I hear in the hallways when you're the subject in question?" Hachiman continued. "Have you heard about the queen of class 2-J? That Yukinoshita-san is such a beauty...You see where I'm going with this right? I hear nothing about you helping people. Only statements about what a beauty you are or what a cool and elegant girl you are for your age. Which leads me to conclude one thing."
"And what would that be?" Yukino asked hatefully.
"That you're not the princess that everyone makes you out to be. Instead, you're just a teenage girl way in over your head. A girl who believes that she's a gift from heaven itself, failing to realize that in the end. She's only a human. And as a human, she tends to overestimate herself due to her own perceived brilliance which makes her just another disappointing failure in the end."
Not standing for that remark. Yukino furiously swung her hand at Hachiman, intending to slap him, only for him to easily dodge the slap.
"The fact that you tried that is already proof that you're flawed like everyone else."
"Such blatant disrespect! I should-" She was immediately cut short by the sound of the door opening. "Hiratsuka-sensei. I believe I told you to knock."
Hiratsuka stepped into the room. "Sorry, I just felt like I should see how things are progressing."
Hachiman looks at her confused. "Wait, Hiratsuka-sensei, aren't you supposed to be in a staff meeting by now?"
"I know but I felt it was better to check up on you two." She said. "Man, never thought I'd hear Yukinoshita sound so angry...Hikigaya you could have toned it down a bit with the insults.
"If telling the truth is an insult. Then I fear for society..." Hachiman retorts.
Before Yukino could respond. Hiratsuka cut her off. "It's clear you aren't gonna get along anytime soon. So I have a proposition for you two."
"A proposition?" Yukino raised her brow at the suggestion.
"Why not a showdown between you two? See whose ideals would work best." Hiratsuka suggested.
"Like in one of those Shounen mangas you're far too old for?" Hachiman asked.
"Exactly...and remind me slug you in the gut for that comment." Hiratsuka confirmed while making a mental note to punch Hachiman. "Basically we'll have a competition. I'll bring in lost lambs and the two of you can use your own methods to save them as proof of whose ideals are truly correct. And to throw in a sweetener, whoever wins gets to order the loser to do anything he or she wants. How's that?"
"I refuse!" Yukino covers her chest. "I fear for my safety, betting on such a wager with someone as depraved as him." Yukino said.
"That fear I hear in your voice Yukinoshita?" Hiratsuka teases. "You're afraid of losing aren't you?"
"Fine. I accept. It's not as if a lowly thing such as himself could beat me anyways." Yukino reluctantly accepts. "Although I do regret being tempted into competing with someone like him."
"And you Hikigaya?"
"Sure, whatever you say." Hachiman shrugs.
"Then it's settled, we'll meet up here again tomorrow. Don't be late Hikigaya." Hiratsuka declares as the two loners parted ways. Glaring at each other as they walked off in the opposite direction.
I hope you guys like this chapter. Not really sure if I handled the drama too well. Drama isn't really my thing. Let me know in the reviews, thanks for reading.