-Story Start-

Anko was not one to sit still for very long, mandated time off or not. Sure, some rest and a good shower and binge drinking had been fine for the first couple of days back from her last mission. But now? She was bored. A bored Anko was an unhappy Anko. An unhappy Anko meant terror for any resident traitors or spies within the torture and investigation department. Though Ibiki had still banned her, the spoil sport, because apparently she had been playing a bit too rough with her toys. So here she was, wandering around the village with no idea of what to get up to and an itchy kunai hand. Kurenai could only put up with her for so long and the other girls were out and about on missions. Lucky them she said. Idly she considered hunting down one of the few guys she considered friends, Naruto, but passed it off. She hadn't seen him after their debrief, having a feeling that he wanted to be left along. Well, maybe she could go bother his teammate, Pinky was always good for a laugh.

Blinking as she weaved through the market traffic with a new destination in mind, Anko spotted someone she hadn't considered at all. The woman Naruto was close to, Mai if she remembered properly, was doing some shopping of her own. No brats around, which meant that probably accounted for where Naruto was. Well, she was still curious and had all the time in the world. Might as well go say hello. Being careful to make noise and not spook the woman, Anko sauntered up next to the black haired woman with a smile. "Hey there." Would this piss off Naruto? Probably, and that was a bonus in her mind.

"Oh!" Jumping a little, Mai turned to the purple haired ninja that appeared at her side. "Oh, hello miss ninja. Can I help you?" Her eyes shifted behind her glasses, watching Anko yes, but also their surroundings. Skittish one.

Anko shrugged, "Maybe. You're close to a friend of mine. Wanted to meet ya myself."

Confusion on her face, Mai watched Anko's clear eyes for a moment before some realization dawned, "Oh, you must be Anko. Naruto's told me about you."

"Oh?" That was a surprise. Naruto was talking about her then? Anko would need to figure out what he'd been saying, and maybe beat the tar out of him later if she didn't like it. Well, if he let her. "Good things I hope."

Mai giggled as she continued on her way, not minding this friend of Naruto's joining her in her errands, "Something like that. He says you're just full of energy."

Anko heard loudmouth, but let it go. "Well, I'll squeeze him for info later, but I actually wanted to meet you. Can I buy ya lunch? My treat?" Anko filed it away in her mind that Mai didn't seem all that bothered by the fact that a ninja was interrupting her day. Granted she could just be used to Naruto's meddling. Well, no one really seemed to get used to Naruto's meddling.

"And just what would a special Jonin like yourself need with me?" Mai hefted her shopping bag higher on her shoulder, a grunt leaving her lips. Perhaps she should have split this into two days of shopping?

"Well, guess I'll come clean. Naruto got me interested and I wanted to meet you. He's really attached to ya, and I wanna see what all the fun is about." Watching Mai turn to her with a curious gaze but silence, Anko finally sighed, "I've run two missions now with the blond. At the end of each one I have more questions than answers. I'm not built to let a story go unlearned."

Another giggle while Mai turned to look up into the sky for a moment, still weaving through foot traffic with Anko, "Naruto does have that affect on people. So I guess I can understand."

"All but you. You seem to know more than most I'm guessing."

"That'd be a good guess. But looks can be deceiving." Mai waits as Anko hums but doesn't continue. Well, the jonin really would follow her around for the rest of the day just like this wouldn't she? Only Naruto could attract someone like this. "Okay, I can go for lunch."

Anko grinned and hooked an arm into the other woman's and started to drag her along, "Alright then. There's a dango spot right around the corner that's just killer."

Sighing, Mai lets the taller woman drag her along, "Just what have I gotten into?"

"Oh relax, I'm lots of fun."

"Does Naruto usually snort when you say that?"

"He wouldn't know a good time if it smacked him in the face." Anko had to grin anyway, she might finally get some answers! Either that or some blackmail material. Both were good in her book!

-b-

"So, Anko, I have a question for you." Mai had to admit, the bar and grill Anko had brought her to was rather nice and the food selection was better than she anticipated. That the company she was in ended up being rather pleasant was a nice change of pace for her. Idly watching Anko pause in the middle of taking a bite from a dango skewer was something she probably could have gone without though. "Just what is it that you want with Naruto? Truly."

Shrugging and swallowing her sugary treat, Anko figured it wasn't that complicated, "I'm just curious about the guy is all."

"Oh, it's just curiosity that has you hunting down his friends and asking about him?" A small smirk made it to Mai's lips.

Oh, she wanted to play this game did she? "I don't know if I like what you're insinuating."

"Most people don't, it's why I'm a bit of a shut in. Among other things." Mai had a smirk on her face as she considered the woman across from her. This could be fun, "Plus, you came and found me, not the other way around. That takes a bit more than idle curiosity." Giggling finally as the other woman mumbled about smart mouthed homebodies, Mai waved a hand at the Jonin, "Oh please, relax. You wanted to have fun with Naruto, so I'm having a bit of fun with you."

"Maybe I don't like being the butt of the joke." Anko was already reaching for another skewer.

"Well, there's no joke here. I think it's nice that Naruto has a friend like you. Someone who actually cares. Not like that pink haired girl." Mai winked at her before sitting up a bit straighter, keeping her full thoughts about Naruto's teammates to herself, "So, you have questions yes?"

Feeling the mood shift, Anko nodded along, "Yeah, just a couple. But my biggest, just how did you two meet?"

Tilting her head left and then right, Mai considered how to tell that story. Things got, spotty, in her memory around that time. "Well, Naruto needed a friend and I happened to be in the right place at the right time."

"Pure chance then? Don't tell me you're as good at the cryptic bs like Naruto is." That still stung a bit, Anko was supposed to be good at pulling information out of guys like him. Instead none of her charms worked on him at all!

"Honestly, yes." Another giggle as Mai pointed at the scantily clad woman, "Maybe if you were a bit more honest with me you'd get more thorough answers."

"I am bein honest here-"

"Curiosity only carries so far Mitarashi-san. This kind of thing wouldn't normally press a ninja such as yourself for very long. You all have secrets don't you. So...why are you so curious about Naruto of all people?"

"Maybe I don't want any surprises in any future missions with the guy?"

"Surprises sometimes keep life interesting." Mai giggled at the look of frustration that crossed Anko's face. "Oh, has he used that line on you once already?"

"Yeah, and it was just as irritating from him."

"I'll come up with new material, but he is usually just full of surprises." Seeing Anko's pointed look, Mai made a show of looking around the space they were in, "It really was happenstance, how we met that is. Naruto had been on a mission. It didn't end in failure, but it apparently didn't go the way anyone had hoped. So there I was for him, right place to cheer him up. And now, well, he feels like he should look after me from time to time."

Anko was the one to lean forward now, a smirk on her face as she considered the unsure woman in the blue summer dress, "He seems to do a lot more than just looking after you occasionally. There's feelings there."

"He's…Naruto's a sweet man. A good man. More heart than brains I'll admit most days."

"Oh we can agree on that one for sure." Anko chimes in, and they both settle into a silence for a time. Anko to chew on a skewer, while Mai runs a finger along the rim of her half empty drink. Orange juice, no alcohol for her. "You aren't a civilian. Not fully, are you?"

Shaking her head, Mai corrects her, "I very much am a civilian. No chakra here, or at least, not enough to be of use as a ninja. Besides, not all spying needs to be or can be done by ninja like yourself." Eyes dimming as she considered her drink and the condensation along the glass, Mai continued to trace its edge, "Information can be gathered in all number of ways. Why waste a high value ninja like yourself when a common whore will suffice."

Anko flinched at the way the woman described herself. She didn't like it, even if it was true, "I uh-"

"No no, I'm not bothered at all. I know what I am. Who I am…and who I have left behind. But, it doesn't matter anymore." Mai sighed heavily, raising her glass and finishing the rest of the drink before placing the empty glass back down. "The beauty of it all is that, my last mission was only just enough to move me here into Konoha proper. But after that and I was considered safe? Well, I was hung out on my own. The village has plenty of work they said, I would be fine. Until they forget that most people won't hire some nameless woman with no formal schooling and a history of, questionable employment."

Anko blinked hard at that, having never heard anything like that before. Something in her gut twisted, "You, wait. There should be resources, programs. You should be able to have a path to get on your feet and employed easily, even with just the office of the Hokage." Anko could understand finding it hard to get normal work among the civilians who didn't understand, but the ninja population shouldn't care. The Hokage's office should want to take care of a woman like Mai…just what was she involved with? "I'm sure too, Naruto or any of his friends would help ya get a job if they could, if you ask."

Mai does finally nod her head at that, pointing a dainty finger at the woman, "Well, that part is probably true. But, we sometimes cling to the things we know, the familiar. Even if it isn't the best for us. Don't we?"

Anko shuddered as Mai's eyes bored into her own. Yeah, there was definitely more going on there, but she wasn't going to pry more than this. She wasn't sure if she'd like what she learned. "I don't know if I like you all that much Mai."

"I'll admit, I get that a lot as well. But, can I now ask for a favor? I've answered your actual question yes?" Seeing Anko nod slowly, Mai bowed her head to the woman, "Look after Naruto will you?

"He's a big boy, I'm sure he can look after himself."

"Oh, in a fight, sure he can. But in matters of the heart, he's still just a boy."

"Do I look like someone who knows how to do mushy stuff like that?" That Mai only tilted her head and smiled at her sent Anko into another shudder, "Yeah, I don't like you. You're paying for lunch now, I don't wanna treat you anymore."

Mai picks up a skewer and holds it up into the air for a moment, "Hmm, I'm trying to think. I'm rather used to women not liking me, but I suppose you not liking me does bother me a bit. If I told you how to breach Naruto's heart, would that put me in your good graces?"

"Save that for the Hyuuga girl, she'd probably swear fealty to you."

"Oh that girl, she really needs to get a move on."

"By Kami, is there anyone in this village that doesn't know about her crush on the Gaki?"

"He'll set her straight one day I hope."

"More like I'm going to lock them in a closet one of these days." Anko still didn't get his refusal to acknowledge the girl, but she wasn't going to fight the blond about his love life. She certainly didn't know anything about that sort of thing. "But back to you. All that said, I feel like I'm not closer to knowing what I want to know."

Again offering the Jonin a smile, Mai shrugged, "But you know enough, yes?" Sighing and pushing back her chair, Mai stood to leave, gathering up her things from under the table, "This has been fun, I wouldn't mind lunch with you again another time."

"What about you?" Watching the woman freeze in place, Anko pressed on, "You've got some feelings for him, I could see that. Why don't you really pursue him yourself? If you're so sure you can reach his heart and all."

There's silence between the two as Mai turns away to leave, before she turns back with a bright smile, "Be gentle with Naruto will you? He really does value you as a friend. Though if you do deflower him, I suppose I won't be too upset."

Blushing and squawking, Anko stands as Mai starts to walk away, "H-h-hey wait a minute! It's not like that!"

Making it out onto the street, Mai just giggles as she can hear Anko's footsteps behind her. "Of course it isn't."

Anko was out the door, tossing a fist full of ryo towards the proprietor before leaving, "Of all the-"

"Mai? What're you doing out this way?" And just Anko's luck, there was Naruto, kids hanging off his arms and looking for all the world as a dutiful older brother. At seeing Anko's flushed face, his confusion doubled, "Anko?"

Mai was still smiling, gather her children with promises of dinner and maybe some extra time awake tonight, "Oh Naruto, thank you for the assistance today. You're always such a good help. Say, maybe you should take better care of your friend hmmm, she seems rather frustrated."

Naruto's eyes shifted between the calm Mai and the flushed Anko, nothing in his head making a connection between the two that made any sense. He didn't like it and because of that, he was suitably nervous. "Uh, Mai, why are ya with Anko?"

Mai leaned in, patting him on the cheek softly, that he didn't flinch at all warmed her heart some. "Why indeed. Come now children, let's go home."

"Aw mama, com'on, it's still light out!"

"No fuss, by the time we make it home the sun will start setting." Waving to the ninja pair, Mai and the children were soon making their way down the street, leaving two confused ninja behind.

One of which was turning to the other, Naruto had so many questions, "Just why the hell were you with Mai?"

"Honestly, I don't even know anymore. I'm not even sure she's not a ninja." What was that just then?

"Anko…"

"You need to lighten up a bit Naruto, you'll live longer." Anko considered the disgruntled boy and shook off her own confusion. She could shift confusing conversations to the back of her mind to be analyzed later. She had teasing to do now. Walking forward capturing one of his arms in her own, she started to drag him, "I need a drinking buddy, and you have questions to answer."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

"You owe me one."

"I thought we were even?"

"Thought wrong." Anko's grin widened at his sputtering and she shook him as they walked, "First on the list. What's up with you. Are you a guy, a girl, or something in-between?" He never got around to explaining how he fooled everyone with his transformation.

Grunting but somehow knowing better than to argue with pushy women, Naruto gave it up. With Mai and the kids gone, he was free for the rest of the day. "Well, you know my…condition." Watching Anko nod once, Naruto continued. "Well, apparently it's a bit of a gift from it. I can transform perfectly into anyone, so long as the mass isn't too far off. Great for infiltration, if not my sanity."

"Soooo, you could transform into a perfect copy of anyone? Say, even me? Anko leaned forward to look at him with a teasing smile, "Or even lady Tsunade? You perv."

"I'd never do that."

"I would."

"That's because you are a pervert."

"Say it wouldn't be fun. Lie to me."

"It wouldn't be a lie, she's pushing like, mid fifties I think." Plus he had seen her first as a washed up drunk. Generous assets or not, he had no interest in that.

Anko shrugged, finally letting the teen go to walk more comfortably at her side, "And she's a ninja. Body has got to be better than most for her age."

"You've got a weird fixation on our Kage. Should I warn her?"

"Do so at your own peril."

"You can't beat me in a fight, I'm not really scared."

"I'll sic your teammate on you."

Naruto faked a gasp as he leaned away from Anko, "Now that's just cruel." Of course after a moment he thought about it, "But she hates you."

"Don't make light of women who can come together in times of crisis."

"That's bull."

Making a show of buffing her nails on her jacket, Anko, "I'm a woman, we're sneaky. You should know that." Watching the teen roll his eyes, Anko tugged him along, "Com'on, we're getting shit faced and exchanging stories for the night."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"You really gonna pass up a night out with a hot woman?"

Naruto smirked, some of his fire coming to play, "Where's this hot woman? She behind you somewhere?" The fist that slugged his shoulder wasn't all that bad. Five out of ten on the rage index.

"Ass, com'on, I know a good spot." Anko was determined to have a good time tonight, and maybe wash away all the weird feelings she had. She wanted to have fun! And maybe drag some more information out of the reclusive blond. She would not be denied!

-b-

Tired, mind more than a little foggy, Anko came back to the world of the living slowly and wishing she hadn't. She still had another few days off, which meant she could sleep in, be lazy and not give a shit about anything the world had to offer. That said, something was knawing at her brain. A wrongness that just wasn't letting her go back to sleep. Rolling over to have a look at her alarm clock, with a yelp she crashed to the floor.

"Wuuh?" Floor? Couch? This…was this her place? Looking around in the dim early morning light, she noted that this was not in fact her apartment. There were to many plants, and it was much too clean here. Memories began to surface. She had been drinking with Naruto, apparently she had challenged him to a drinking game, and after that things got fuzzy. Real fuzzy. "Well shit."

"Well shit is right, don't throw up again. Or at least, make it in the trashcan this time." Naruto was walking down the hallway, bound for the bathroom it looked like.

Anko sat up, noting the empty trashcan next to the couch where her head had been and snorted. "Well aren't you a ray of sunshine."

Pausing in his walk, Naruto kept his eyes firmly on her own, "You ever put up with a raging drunk? It's not fun. And put some clothes on." Then he was gone, in his bathroom to leave Anko wondering at just what had all happened last night. Looking down at herself and noting her bare state, she hefted her girls with a frown.

"Not even a peak? He wasn't fazed at all. Should I cut back on the sweets or something?" Anko pouted as she reached down and pinched her belly and was met with flat toned abs, maybe he was gay. He was still chasing after that teammate of his after all this time. It would make sense why her charms didn't work. Huffing and dragging herself onto the couch, Anko relaxed a bit and got her bearings. So she crashed with Naruto, no fun time involved, and failed to learn anything new. Well, she supposed she could let it go since she had such a good time. Maybe she could convince Pinky to come along next time. Or better yet the Hyuuga girl!

Lazing on the couch and refusing to move as she considered what to do with her day and let her body work through the remaining bits of alcohol in her system, she didn't even flinch as the bathroom door opened again and a freshly showered Naruto stepped out. He eyed the back of her head for a moment before snorting, "At least you're off the floor."

"I could move if I wanted to."

"Sure you could." Naruto had a smile on his face though as he walked back to his room, he needed to get ready for his Team meeting.

"Say, Naruto." Feeling but not seeing Naruto pause, Anko voiced something she never would have considered with anyone else outside of maybe Kurenai. "If you had a choice, to have some real happiness at the expense of someone else. Would you take it?"

"Depends, does someone have to die for me to be happy?"

Anko hummed at that, before rolling over and watching Naruto from over the back of the couch, "Let's say for now, no. No one has to die."

"Well, considering who and what I am. If I knew for sure it was true happiness waiting for me, I suppose I would."

Anko had half expected him to say he wouldn't take it. He gave off that martyr energy even at his worst times. Interesting. "Even if…people might hate you for it?"

"People hate me when I'm unhappy. Who cares about them?"

Right. Naruto knew well enough just how shitty people could be. She should have known better, "Alright. Thanks, Whiskers, for the info."

"You gonna tell me what this is about?" Naruto kept his gaze on the woman's face, not daring to peak lower, "You're not about to confess your love for me are you?"

Snorting, Anko shook her head with a smile, "Maybe if I was, eh, five years younger you might have a chance with me." And wasn't that something to admit to? Chuckling to herself some more at Naruto's confused look, Anko waved him away. "Not today I don't think. Let me have this one."

Naruto huffed and started back for his room, "The nosy one wants to have a secret now, go figure. And get dressed! With my luck Jiraiya will come crashing through my balcony or something."

Left alone, Anko sighed and rolled back around to sit on the couch, peaking out over the village through Naruto's balcony door. It was looking to be a clear day at least. Maybe she could go bother Kurenai again. Maybe offer to help out with the kiddo?

*BANG BANG BANG*

Or she could be interrupted from her thoughts by banging on Naruto's door. Just who the hell would be here this early? Welp, guess she could introduce some chaos into his day. Standing and stretching, she decided to head to the door.

Outside of said door, an irritated medic was losing her patience. "Naruto! Come on! We have news about Sasuke! We gotta go!" Sakura huffed, crossing her arms as she waited outside Naruto's apartment. Behind her Sai and Yamato waited with curious expressions.

Sai couldn't read the girl's mood in the end, "Shouldn't we have just waited for dickless at the gate?"

Rolling her eyes at the childish nickname, Sakura gave Naruto's door another few love taps, "If we did that we wouldn't be leaving at least for another hour. I don't know why he's been so hard to get up lately. Asshole." If they missed their chance to intercept Sasuke, she'd never let Naruto live this down. Turning back to the door, Sakura raised her fist to pound on it again, "Naru-"

The door swung open, an irritated Anko was there to greet them, "Can't you calm your tits for like, five minutes? Kami, Whiskers is getting dressed." Turning away to head back inside, Anko left Team Seven at the door, blinking in more than a little confusion.

Sai leaned over to Yamato, "Wasn't that…the special Jonin Mitarashi?"

Yamato nodded, "Yes um, it was…"

Sakura was fighting and failing to calm the blush that had sprung up on her face. Anko…that woman…she…Naruto…Sakura knew Anko was bothering her for more than just information!

Not even a few moments later Naruto came jogging out to meet them, a scroll being tucked away into his jacket, "I'm good to go." He paused in his doorway as he noticed all of his teammates were staring at him in silence. Even Yamato was looking, well not impressed, but there was definitely some respect in his eyes. "What'd I miss?"

Anko's voice called out from his living room where she had crashed on the couch last night, "I don't have a key, should I leave now too?"

Naruto leaned back, taking in his very naked friend before slowly putting two and two together. Great. "Please tell me you didn't answer the door like that."

"Okay, I didn't." She could be literal when needed.

Naruto turned back to the trembling and quickly devolving into anger Sakura. He sighed and tossed a key Anko's way, "Lock up, take care of my plants!" He'd need to remember to make a clone to send off to Mai. Guess he wouldn't be in town today.

"I don't know anything about house sitting!"

Naruto shrugged as he pushed Sakura out into the hallway, "Call it your penitence!" Sighing as he closed the door behind him, Naruto took in his team. "Uh, I thought we needed to go?"

"Not so dickless after all." Sai was as blunt as ever.

Sakura was already fuming as Naruto and Yamato started for the stairs. "W-Wait a minute!"

Looking at his longtime teammate over his shoulder, Naruto gave her a lazy eye, "Go ahead and scream at me, get it over with."

"You…Anko….naked…." Sakura was pointing a trembling finger at him as they descended the stairs to leave his complex. "There's no way you slept with Anko of all people!"

Sighing and nodding his head, "You'd be right. I didn't sleep with Anko." Like Sakura had any right to his private life in the first place. Man, that crush from so long ago really was long gone huh?

Yamato swung an arm over Naruto's shoulders, "So, Naruto, my kohai. Just how was it? We've had a betting pool surrounding Anko for a long while now." Yamato wouldn't judge, not at all. He did have a bet to win though.

Was he always going to be surrounded by perverts? Naruto shrugged his new team leader off and started to jog, "You know what, I'm going ahead, stay out of my business!"

Sakura was already in pursuit, "Get back here you pervert! I need answers!"

"The hell you do!" It was going to be a long day, Naruto decided.

Behind them and watching them leave, Anko smirked as she twirled her borrowed key ring along a finger. Last night had been fun. Getting shit faced, telling some of the funnier interrogation stories she had, and then crashing on his couch when she realized she wasn't going to be making it home alone. At least he had been a good sport about it. Though his teammates, woo. Pinky really needed to lighten up. Idly she noted a messenger raven landing on his balcony raven, looking at her expectantly. Rolling her eyes, she removed the scroll from its leg, allowing it to take off. Report to Tsunade's office huh? Well, she was free for the day, suppose she should get to it herself. She'd go bother Kurenai later.

-AN-

No notes here, I'm having a bit of fun with this. Hope some of you are as well.