A/N- This was a fresh chapter- probably has a few errors as well. But I felt the need to get it out and published because it's one of my favorites I've written so far in this story. Please review and let me know what you think.

Chapter 12

Have you ever had a moment in your life where time seems to move at an almost snail's pace? Where the moment freeze because it is life-altering?

This is how it feels to be Padme' Naberrie'.

The day after she met with Eirate', Padme had made reservations to meet with Palo at his art gallery in the heart of Theed. Her former flame had not been there when she arrived, so she had taken the time to mud through the sea of people at his gallery. His gallery had become very popular within the past year and a half. Many of his works were canvases of battles during the war and of those who bravely fought; Navy, Clones, and even Jedi.

Padme's eyes had fallen onto one piece in general. It was of a battle that had taken above Coruscant. It was one of the battles that led to the end of the war and the reveal of Darth Sidious- aka the dead Chancellor. The painting reveals the planet of Coruscant- in shades of black and gold with the large sun glaring onto the cruisers and small Jedi fighters swearing in the starlit sky. Her eyes trace over the colors of those Jedi starfighters- shades of white and a deep sky blue with the symbol of the Jedi etched into the tiny starfighter heading towards the Separatist cruiser. Her hand almost reaches out to trace those wings of the starfighter. She knew of this battle- it had been all over the holonews. Palo must have used the footage to capture this moment in time. The painting makes her heartache- the deep pangs of the missing piece of her- not here and not present. The 18-year-old version of herself watching this battle footage from the holonews from the Royal residences here in Theed. That young 18-year-old, grasping onto her datapad, concerned as she had known whose Jedi Starfighter had flown into that Separatist Cruiser. Her heart had clambered against her chest in that moment- worried for a man she didn't even know safety. She had grasped onto that datapad with all her might as the holo news had played more footage- concern that the cruiser would crash to the planet's surface and it was unknown if the Jedi who had gone to rescue the Chancellor were even alive, as there had been an explosion where two Jedi Starfighters had entered and hadn't come back out- nor had there been any contact with them in the last half an hour.

" His paintings are very realistic," comes a soft voice from behind her.

Padme's eyes are steadily looking at the painting- remember that day with clarity. It had been one of the numerous occasions she had wondered if the Hero without Fear had been captured or killed in a battle. Even back then, she had felt an odd connection to him- without knowing him in person- only through letters from Sabe' and through the holonews and rumors. Why have concern for a person whom you didn't even know?

" They are- it reminds me of the exact moment I saw this footage on the holo news," She murmurs, keeping her eyes planted onto the painting- memorized by her former self and her thoughts in the moment.

" And what do you remember of that moment?" Questions the voice from behind her.

She murmurs with no hesitation. " I remember gripping my datapad- watching those Jedi Starfighters disappearing into the Separatist Cruiser. The holo news saying they hadn't had contact with the Chancellor's rescuers- and that the Cruiser was losing power- possibly would crash onto the surface of the planet."

The breath-tingling her ear murmurs, " I remember the flashes of the starfighters around me. The whistle of the wings of the ship- and the terror running through me as I prayed to the force for the force fields in the cargo hold to open up and then the relief of those shields releasing."

Her eyes drift from the painting and she turns her head to the left, noticing her partner standing before her. She blinks back to the present and takes in his presence. He is wearing his uniform from work- as if he had been on assignment as his uniform is a bit muddy on his knees from inspecting a starcraft. His hair is flattened by his brim hat, and his eyes glimmer with something deeper- darker to another time as if he had been transported by the painting as well back to the moment in time during the war a moment he probably relieved hundreds of times- wondering if he had made the right decisions during that key battle above Coruscant. His eyes shatter the inside of her heart- because she sees the pain within those eyes. The regret he has of that moment in time- a time he could have stopped a lot of pain for lifeforms across the galaxy.

" I remember wondering if they had been captured during the battle- wondering if they would succeed," She whispers, keeping their time loop between them.

He swallows and responds, " It should have ended differently- if I hadn't killed Dooku- if I had paid more attention to the fear in his eyes- I would have noticed why. He was a coward- he would have given up his Master if he had been allowed to live. But all I thought about was revenge- revenge for cutting off my arm-. I could have saved the suffering of those in the coming if I had been thinking clearly."

His eyes flicker to hers- revealing that grief he had buried deep within him. That grief of not being the hero he should have been to the galaxy. The grief very few people outside of Ahsoka and Obi-wan knew he had held onto. He cannot alter this grief and it probably will never leave him- but it is a grief he wants to share with the woman standing next to him because he yearns her to know every part of him as he wants to know every part of her.

" Regret is something we all have to live with- things we relive in our mind thousands of times- people we couldn't spare because of our decisions." She responds back, knowing full well of regret and grief.

One of her good friends had died while on duty protecting the Queen. It had been during the war during a pivotal time. Padme' had been on lead detail for this mission. Padme' and Corde' had been the Queen's details for her speech. They were supposed to fly out and for precautions Corde' had decoyed as the Queen, while the Queen had been flying a Nabooian fighter beside the ship- when they had landed and thought they were safe- the ship had exploded. Padme' had given the signal that they were safe- and then the ship had exploded. She had been within reach of Corde'- and then the explosion had occurred- sending her flying in the other direction- and putting her in the hospital for a week. If she had been able to reach Corde'- she might have had a chance- or if she had insisted on wearing protective armor under her royal dress as she had done herself- she might still be alive- retired and enjoying her life as a musician. Padme' never asked to lead another mission as she knew she couldn't have more deaths on her conscience, even though it was part of the job- the grief had been raw for months.

Padme's grief-stricken eyes reach his again- both recognize the grief of regret- another area they both can relate to the other. It may be different experiences- but she knew what it meant- how it is life-altering when you are a leader and your decisions can mean life or death for others.

The timeless moment between them alters when she hears the cheering greeting of her former flame. " Padme'! General Skywalker, it is a pleasure to have you both here."

Padme's gaze breaks from Anakin's and her head veers to her right and her eyes lock onto those hazel ones of Palo's. He seems to be in a very cheerful mood and his glimmer smile widens upon seeing her. Padme' plants a smile on her lips as she has done when her emotions get the best of her. " Palo, we were just admiring your artwork. The details and colors are striking."

Palo's smile grows wider and he takes her hand into his and kisses it. " Thank you, I am honored by your compliment." His gaze flickers to Anakin's and he nods in greeting, " It is a pleasure that you could make our luncheon as well General."

Padme remembers at that moment that she had thought that only she and Palo would be discussing the fundraiser which would be held here at the gallery over lunch. Palo must have invited Anakin as an afterthought which doesn't surprise her. Palo thinks of how he can be in the good graces of those he is interested in dating- namely her.

Anakin greets him and gestures towards his office. " Thank you for the invite, but if you don't mind could we begin our luncheon? I only have an hour and a half and then I have to return to inspect several cruisers on the other side of Theed this afternoon."

Palo nods and they follow him towards his office. Padme's eyes are curious and wander to the other art pieces hanging from the walls in the gallery. Many of the other art pieces are from other battles during the war and some are just of famous areas on Naboo- the Theed palace- the waterfalls surrounding the palace- and many places she has gone to in her days of being a handmaiden. Palo may be arrogant and invested in only the wealthy but at the end of the day, he has an eye for the world- an eye to paint the world for others to see through.

Palo dials the code for the inside of his office- which is more like an entire apartment on its own. The office has a desk- and a long counter and kitchenette for cooking. And a table for dining. Moreover, on the far end of the room there is a place to paint. It is more like a small studio someone could live in and never leave.

He gestures to the dining table where a feast has been prepared for their luncheon. It is nothing simple- a spread of a fine steak from Coruscant- Nabooian wine and a salad. It is more like a dinner for those of the common folk on special occasions and it reminds Padme of how rich and fine Palo's lifestyle is. It is similar to her own upbringing- and yet directly opposite of Anakin's.

Padme sits at the end of the small table and knows Palo will sit across from her. She also prays to the Gods or the force that Anakin will keep his space between them without knowing what she needs. The sheer feeling of having him this close to her is nerve-wracking her entire body. It has only been three days since they had seen each other, but the intensity of their connection is there. It's as if Anakin can read her thoughts as he situates himself next to Palo instead of by her side.

Palo raises his glass of red wine to his lips and begins, " So, I have had a chef prepare this meal as I thought this could be a possible entree for our fundraiser gala. If it is to your liking, I will gladly cover the expenses for the meals and you can use whatever charge covers to go towards the families in need."

Anakin nods and says, " That is thoughtful of you. What is the standard charge for a fundraiser? I have very little experience with what one charges for them."

Padme ponders on it. She has been to quite a few fundraisers with the former Queen after the war ended. It had cost the Queen at least four hundred credits per person on her staff to attend any sort of gala that was to raise money. If Palo invites most of the elite of Nabooian society, they could make enough to support their project. " Four hundred? Is that a fair charge Palo?"

Anakin chokes on his water as he is on duty. He coughs and sputters out, " Per person? Isn't that a bit outlandish?"

Palo pats his back and dismisses, " Most of the wealthy society spend four hundred credits going to the Oprea for one event. I think that is a fair price to pay for a fine meal and fine company and also I will be auctioning off several art pieces to the highest bidder. 80 percent of the profits will be going to your fundraiser."

Padme' surprised expression crosses her face. " Palo, that is very generous of you."

Palo shrugs and dismisses, " I told you I wanted to help. I have thought my art pieces of the war would be enough- but it is not. Padme' you have made me realize that I haven't been doing enough and I need to help others across Naboo."

And there it is. Padme' tries not to feel the disappointment in her gut. She had thought for a moment that Palo was doing this for the right reasons- nope. It is all to gain her trust and honor.

Padme' attempts a smile and pats his hand assuring him, " I think that is very kind of you to do."

Anakin watches the exchange between the two of them- feeling the change in her force aura. She was lying to Palo- she distrusted him more now than ever, but put on a show to get what they needed.

" When are you thinking of having the event?" Anakin questions.

Palo shrugs, " Three weeks from Kelona this weekend? What do you think of Padme'?"

Padme' nods dwelling on if she will have enough time to plan for a gala and have time to start her new job. She hesitates and says, " I- think we should think six weeks would be more realistic. I don't think we have the time to plan a gala in three weeks."

Palo laughs and says, " Of course, that is enough time unless you have other plans within the coming weeks."

Padme bites her lip and shakes her head. " It isn't- with our busy schedules I don't think it is enough time."

Anakin notices her hesitation and questions, " What has changed? You mentioned being free for the next few weeks of the summer."

She takes a deep breath and responds, " I have been offered a position as the Chief of Staff to my friend Eirate'."

Palo squeezes her hand in delight and expresses his happiness. " Oh, my dear, congratulations. When do you start?"

Padme' watches Anakin's expression- his face does not seem flat nor change by her announcement. But his eyes- his eyes express his disappointment- and anger. The flicker is gone and replaced by joy- phony joy.

" I start tomorrow."

Anakin expresses, " That offer must have happened pretty fast. You hadn't said much about it this weekend while we were working."

Padme' nods and keeps her expression tight- tight from the tone she wants to use with the man in her heart. The tone expresses her joy and anger at his disappointment.

" It was unexpected- Eirate' sprang the offer on me yesterday when we met over my long-term outline of funding housing for those in need."

Palo takes a sip of wine and suggests, " I think you will be brilliant at that job. You have always had the heart of a leader and politician."

Anakin takes another sip of his water and eyes his food, feeling not hungry anymore. His appetite was gone from the news lying before him. He eyes his comm. link and pretends he's received a call.

He places his napkin down and sighs, " Would you please excuse me? This is the flight crew calling."

Palo nods and focuses his attention on Padme'. He begins, " Now- here is the color pattern I'm thinking." He hands her a golden piece of fabric and then lays across a deep blue color of fabric across it.

Padme' plants that professional grin on her face and listens to him droning on about the tablecloth colors and banners hanging from the ceiling in honor of those fallen. Padme' nods at the right time, ignoring pretty much anything he's saying as the minutes click on as Anakin comes back in.

He sighs and apologizes, " The flight crew has blown a main circuit on one of the cruisers- I have to get back."

Palo nods and bows to the Hero without Fear. " Understandable. Padme' and I can finish discussing the color schemes during our meal."

Padme' blurts out, " I- actually forgot about promising to take my niece to the waterfalls today, so I have to leave as well."

Palo frowns upon hearing this but says, " Of course- family is important. Why don't we discuss this at dinner before the Oprea?"

Padme' nods in agreement- knowing full well she is about to have an uncomfortable conversation with Anakin- if he allows her to accompany him. Anakin notices her comment knowing full well it is a lie so they can talk alone without peering eyes.

He asks, " Would you like a ride to your sister's? It's on my way."

Padme' plants that smile on her face and say gratefully, " Yes, that is very kind of you."

Palo gets up from his seat and kisses her hand as a signal of goodbye. " I will call you later. General Skywalker it is a pleasure to work with you."

Anakin nods and gestures to follow Padme' out towards his speeder. They walk in silence across the gallery- not saying a word- just listening to all the chatter of other people within the gallery- commenting on Palo's artwork. Across the glass archway opens into a small park where children play quietly in the summer hot sun. Padme' follows Anakin on the paved path towards the speeders, but then darts to the left- walking further into this small park and away from peering eyes. She follows in silence- left through several parts of bushes and trees- and very few people down this wooden path.

He stops short of a tall fir tree, hanging over the paved path. He turns to her then, the disappointment flickering in his eyes along with his anger. The storm before the calm as if it were so.

" Anakin-" She says softly, keeping her tone soft and light- calm.

He is not calm as his voice does not hide his anger. " Do you think we could have talked before this meeting about your new job?"

She nods and begins, " Yes- this isn't how I wanted you to find out. I didn't even know you were invited to this luncheon-"

He laughs and shakes his head. " So you assumed I wouldn't try to make this meeting- when were you going to tell me you had other plans for your future?"

Padme's eyes narrow and she retorts, " You've known since you met me that I want to help others in a career that makes a difference. So why are you upset with me taking on a position where I can?"

He crosses his arms and declares, " It isn't about taking the job. Did you once before taking the position think about anyone else in your future besides yourself? Hmm? Did you consider me in your future? How we would make this between us work?"

And there it is slapped in her face. He isn't upset that she has taken the job. He was upset because she hadn't thought of a future with him and Tsbain in it while taking this position.

" I–" She stops short- knowing the truth. She hadn't thought of anything other than her dreams of helping those around her- helping others on her home planet and making a difference for those in need. She hadn't thought of her relationship with Anakin- nor plans of engagement- nor Tsbain.

He nods anger written on his face- but also the flicker of hurt. " That is what I thought. You thought of your dreams- the damn galaxy's needs first."

She bites her lip and murmurs, " I can't stand by and watch others suffer it isn't in my nature."

He looks away from her and seethes out, " I know- it's one thing I love about you! But It's my fault- I shouldn't have rushed you into this- you aren't ready."

Padme' feels the tears forming and the rising panic within her chest. She says calmly, " Anakin- I want to be a part of your lives too."

Anakin nods turning back to her- revealing the hurt and disappointment there. " What you don't understand is you can't be fully part of both. I thought that way too- and it doesn't work that way. Either the galaxy gets the best of you or your family does. In my case I stopped giving the galaxy my best when Tsbain was born. I knew she needed my best. For you- the galaxy will get your best. I think it is best that we part on good standing as friends."

Padme' feels the ache in her chest ripping apart. She murmurs, " Just like that? What about what happened last weekend between us?"

His eyes shine in his grief as he murmurs, " Last weekend was a mistake we both made. I free you from our engagement- I think we should leave it as a friendship."

The last tear of her heart bares as she fights back a tear dripping down her cheek. She hastily wipes it away nods and says with all the strength left in her soul. " If that is what you think is best."

Anakin nods and says, " It is Angel. I know how it ends for those who have to put the galaxy first- it ends in pain. But I want you in my life- and Tsbain's life as my friend. She likes you a lot and I don't want to deny her of your friendship. I hope you understand someday that it is for the best."

Padme' sighs and murmurs, " Of course I understand and you're right- I will be busy with my new job and helping those in need with our project as well. There really isn't a work-life balance and work always gets my best."

He nods and eyes the time. He runs his hands through his hair and murmurs, " I need to get back to the flight crew. Please call me when you have a moment to spare and we'll discuss the details of the fundraiser."

Padme' nods heartbroken and trying to keep it together. He takes a breath and before leaving crosses the space between them and holds her close. Tears slide down her cheeks as her face hits his green uniform and tight chest. She can't speak because if she does- she'll speak the truth- that her heart is breaking in the process. That she's experiencing her first heartbreak and that they are wasting something precious between them.

He kisses her forehead and holds her tightly, feeling her sorrow through the force. He had felt his own heartbreaking by telling her things couldn't go any further. But he had to stop this before he fell in love with her- before there was no turning back. He had fallen this trick hole before- where he and a former flame had but the galaxy first- and look how that had turned out. He lost her and is a single father. He won't drag this angel down with him- not when she'll make a difference on her home planet- but he also knows he can't bear the thought of not being around her- so a friendship is better than knowing life without her.

He pulls away first and wipes the tears from her cheeks. " Take care, Angel."

She doesn't look up as he leaves her arms- leaving a hole where her heart should be. She hears his footsteps fall away and she takes in a deep breath.

Breathe

Gods keep it together.

Suck up these emotions!

You're better than this.

It's a few minutes later and many calming breathes before she plasters a smile on her face and exits the gardens knowing and praying he has already left in his speeder. She won't fall apart- not in public anyway. She will bury her pain under her new work adventure and keep going- keep burning through her painful breaths- and one step at a time. One step at a time the pain will dissipate- one moment at a time she'll find solace in her new career- feeling fulfilled and trying to stay in touch with Anakin.

Yes- that's right he wants to keep a friendship between them.

She nods. You'll be okay. It was just a wonderful weekend with a man you crushed hard on for many years. You are a lucky woman- and you get to stay in his life as his friend.

She repeats this statement to herself all the way home and by the time she gets there, she believes it is true.

To Be Continued…