Behind the Silk Screen Chapter 37: Of Returns and Regrets, an inuyasha fanfic

I'll save us all the long winded apology for yet another extended break and say simply instead that I missed you all and this story more than I have words for. Which is surprising, considering how wordy I can be.

Though the daily necessities of living continue to pose challenges, I will keep coming back again and again and again until the end. I hope you all will, too.

The silence was unnerving.

Before, the night had always held a certain sense of peace for Kagome. Its black veil softened the toils of the day, quieted the clamoring of her thoughts, offered respite and the feeling that there was always a tomorrow where the world might be a bit gentler.

But, she reflected, that was before and so many things were different before. It was hard to remain wholly unchanged after being narrowly pulled from the grasp of the pall bearers, after all.

Kagome shivered, pulling the edges of the blanket wrapped about her shoulders more closely together. Despite the warming spring nights, she could never quite seem to get warm enough anymore. She wondered if that was a consequence of what had happened and if it would ever go away.

She shook her head as if to dislodge the thought. Of course it would go away. It had scarcely been a week since that night. Time was all that was needed. Time and a bit of patience and for the realization to finally sink in that they had done it.

They had done it. These words were her mantra, an armor against the unease and the dark thoughts and the quiet of the night and the uncertainty of the future. Whatever else, they had done it. They had killed Naraku.

It was Rin's death that had been the catalyst. It had brought about a tentative understanding between Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sesshoumaru that, however much was left to be resolved among them, Naraku had to be dealt with first.

After that, a plan had come together with surprising swiftness. Or rather, the plan that had been silently being woven all around them had finally come fully to the fore.

Kagura could be faulted for a great many things, but her cunning was certainly not one of them. Since that day weeks ago when they had revealed the presence of the ships to her, the youkai woman had been quietly spinning a web all her own around Naraku.

She had fed him story after story of the tensions within the court and between Kagome and Inuyasha. She had prodded at every weakness within him that she could uncover, had manipulated her siblings and the court around her to show him the weakness that he always expected to see in others. She had twisted every last bit of the hard-earned knowledge she had gained from him over her years of forced servitude to make him so certain of his success that it seemed almost a foregone conclusion.

All that was left was to push him that final step, to make him desperate enough to emerge from the shadows. Between the four of them, after almost a full day spent putting together the pieces they had each collected, they finally resolved on the best way to do it.

The ships were the final piece that held him in waiting. Naraku had expended no small amount of time and effort into manipulating Menōmaru into recruiting the wakō. After all, he was working methodically to ensure that the mistakes of the past did not repeat themselves. For Naraku that could mean only two things: breaking the clans and obtaining the jewel.

During the throne war, he had succeeded in aggravating the tensions between the clans, but had failed to realize how desperately they would cling to power if the alternative was losing it altogether. They had fought one another, weakened one another, killed one another, but as soon as it became apparent that none of them had the resources to seize and maintain power they had retreated to bide their time.

Naraku must have reasoned that if a war within the court was not sufficient to break them, a war outside certainly would be. The wakō would provide the distraction he required, attacking villages and clan lands outside of the court to force a response. Not only would the clans be forced to spread themselves thin in defense, but sentiments would once again be turned against the Tennō as he failed to protect his people.

Once the wakō had opened the way, Menōmaru would have all the certainty he needed to declare an official war. In the ensuing chaos, Naraku would have all of the cover he could possibly need to use the Taira to seize the throne.

And so the ships had to be their first play. The ningyō were already in place and were slowing them down for the time being, but they all agreed it was unlikely that the ningyō alone would suffice to stop the wakō. They needed certainty and Japan's fleet alone, such as it was in the wake of the throne war, would be neither quick enough to mobilize nor enough to force them back.

There was, however, a fleet that was more than equal to the task, Sesshoumaru had pointed out. They had all looked to him at this, surprised as much by the words as by him breaking the heavy silence he had maintained throughout most of the discussion.

China's fleet, he said, even a fraction of it, would have more than enough strength and speed to deter the wakō. He had spent most of his self-imposed exile in the Chinese court and had studied enough of it to know.

He also knew enough of the Chinese Emperor to know how to appeal to him. After all, there had been a great deal of mutual respect between the Chinese Emperor and the former Tennō, he said. Enough so that even when Naraku had sent that false dignitary into the Chinese court with reports of Inuyasha's failings the Chinese Emperor had still made no move against him.

Kagome had silently conceded this, though she thought it more likely that after seeing Sesshoumaru's immediate departure that the Chinese Emperor had merely been waiting to see who would emerge victorious from the confrontation before making any moves of his own.

Sesshoumaru quickly confirmed this suspicion as he outlined his plan for appealing to the Chinese Emperor. He would be the one to make the appeal, both as the one with the closest relationship to the Chinese Emperor and as the first-born son of the former Tennō.

They were all well aware that the Chinese Emperor disdained hanyou in general, but he harbored an especial hatred for Inu no Taisho's final act of upsetting the succession order by choosing his youngest to place on the throne over his full-blooded eldest. Succession of the throne in China worked much the same as it did in Japan, and the Chinese Emperor felt deeply the dangerous precedent that the former Tennō had set by upsetting the order of things.

If, however, Sesshoumaru were to reach out and to imply that he was now in a position of power or soon would be within the court, that and a few trade concessions might be enough to persuade the Chinese Emperor to intervene.

Kagome had bristled at the idea, poised to object immediately to the notion of Sesshoumaru using this crisis to try and wrest back power from Inuyasha. Surprisingly, Inuyasha's quick agreement had stopped her short.

At her sharp look he shrugged, shaking his head. Looking from him to Sesshoumaru, she felt a bit of her ire cool. There was no sign on the daiyoukai's face of any particular satisfaction with the plan- though there was rarely much sign of anything on that man's face- and realistically speaking it was likely their only option.

Reluctantly she had agreed with the stipulation that Sesshoumaru be as vague as possible when describing his "role" in the court to the Chinese Emperor. He had scarcely acknowledged her words, but he knew as well as she did that lying outright to the emperor of such a powerful nation that was such a close neighbor to their own could only result in a whole new set of problems for them to contend with. Inwardly she sighed, filing these concerns away to be dealt with when they could afford to do so.

Next came the question of how to get their request to the Chinese Emperor. Even with Sesshoumaru's great speed, it had taken him nearly three months to travel from China back to Heian. That was simply time that they did not have.

Thankfully Kagura was quick to speak up then, offering the use of Kanna's mirror. Her sister would cooperate if it was her request, she said, and so long as they were careful Naraku would know nothing of it.

With the question of their first move solved, a silence had descended over them as they were forced to confront the next step.

Kagome had hazarded a glance at Inuyasha from the corner of her eye. She had nearly flinched at the sight he made, his entire frame radiating barely leashed tension.

Sesshoumaru was the first among them to break the silence, reiterating his earlier assertion that the only way forward was to draw Naraku back into the court. Seeking him out would be at best a waste of time and at worst a massacre should they try to confront him in his territory.

The destruction of the wakō would serve to make him desperate, Kagura added. There was very little that Naraku did not think to anticipate, and the unexpected destruction of a plan he had put years into would no doubt send him spiraling. He would be off balance, and they could use that to force him into their trap.

Kagome had reached out as the silence stretched on from Inuyasha, gently laying a hand on his arm as she watched the internal struggle in the tick of his jaw and hard line of his shoulders. His gaze had met hers, almost pleading, and he shook his head.

"There's got to be something else," he had said.

"There isn't," she had replied. "This is it. Everything has led us here."

"I won't risk you like that!" he'd snapped, his desperation growing in the face of her certainty. "I won't use you as…as bait for fucking monster!"

She had shaken her head, frowning.

"We're all at risk here, Inuyasha. We have been for some time. Choosing not to do this will not make me any safer, but it will put almost everyone at much greater risk. If we do not make this choice now, I cannot see us having any choices left to us for much longer. I know you are as tired as I am of feeling like a pawn in Naraku's game. I am fully prepared to take the risk."

Inuyasha's jaw had clenched against the truth of this, his eyes nearly boring a hole in her as they met hers.

"We willl take every precaution that we can," Kagura had added when his silence once again grew protracted. "As much as I hate to say it, I know that monster better than most. I've had the distinct displeasure of observing him for years, after all, and so I know what to be on guard for. And the miko is right. If we do not take this chance now, he will be sure to leave us with none sooner rather than later."

Sesshoumaru had glanced at her, the closest Kagome had ever seen to a frown edging his lips at the mention of her long servitude to Naraku. After a moment, though, the full weight of his gaze came to bear on Inuyasha.

Faced with their unwavering certainty, there had been no course left to the hanyou but to at last give his very grudging assent.

Kagome sighed, her hand drifting unconsciously to her stomach. If only it had all been as straightforward as it had seemed in that moment.

Kagura had decided that their best course to draw Naraku out was to feed into his certainty that a rift had opened between Inuyasha and Kagome wide enough to drive her to desperation. He needed to believe that they were divided and that in the pain of the divide she would be weak enough to succumb to the call of the jewel.

This, Kagura had said, was a course of events that Naraku was familiar with as he had orchestrated it with the first holder of the jewel when he had killed her lover. He would be all too willing to believe that it would occur again, especially with his propensity to believe that every being around him was, at their core, weak.

Kagome had gritted her teeth against the wind witch's callous words, the pain he had caused Midoriko all too familiar to her. To lash out at Kagura would only be to misdirect her anger when it would be much better spent ensuring that Naraku could never do the same to anyone ever again.

Kagura had directed them step by step, ensuring that Naraku saw exactly what was needed through Kanna and Byakuya. Vague rumors of Sesshoumaru's growing rage against his half-brother and his support from the youkai clans were spread strategically throughout the court. Rin was hidden away under Midoriko's care in the Chūwain, though in the eyes of the court she had died that day and was a source of great anguish to the common born miko who now sat at the apex of the court.

This anguish, through Kanna's mirror and Kagura's staging, was only deepened by a growing rift between Kagome and Inuyasha. They were careful, so careful, to remain apart from one another while in the public eye, communicating only through notes carried by the most trusted servants in Chūsei's network and infrequent meetings under the cover of darkness.

Naturally enough this led to rumors of a rift between them among the courtiers, though they were careful that no active animus should be shown except before Midoriko and some of Inuyasha's most trusted guards. It had been difficult to explain to them that what they were to see was a farce and nothing more, especially when they could not explain to what end it was being put on, but thankfully they trusted them well enough to go along with very few questions.

Kagura had been nothing short of masterful in crafting these scenes, playing off of every detail she had ever gleaned of what Naraku hoped to see and making certain that Kanna and Byakuya would carry word to Naraku. She, for her part, continued to play the recalcitrant informant, her continued show of small defiances designed to keep from alerting him to any change in the information he wrung from her.

The greatest obstacle they faced was that they would have little way of knowing when Naraku would choose to move if they were able to push him to it. He was highly unlikely to alert Kagura to any change in his plans and they could not risk Kanna looking in on him lest he catch her and grow suspicious.

They had decided that the best chance they had at gauging when he might strike would be to watch the wakō. Once they were taken care of and word was sent to Naraku of their retreat, that would be when he would be most likely to make a desperate move in order to get to the jewel. It was admittedly a gamble-one that Inuyasha particularly railed against-but it was ultimately the best chance that they had.

As a precaution, Sesshoumaru had been secretly released from his confinement to watch over Kagome. The arrangement was hardly ideal for anyone involved and was further complicated by the need for Sesshoumaru to maintain the ruse of his confinement by not being seen, but if nothing else Inuyasha had a grudging respect for the youkai's strength.

Akitoki Hojo was assigned to her guard permanently as another precaution, his ability to remain close to her without drawing undue suspicion driving Inuyasha to decide that this was necessary. Little as he liked the idea, the man had proven trustworthy and his infatuation with her would only make him work all the harder to ensure that she was safe.

Kagura was the final layer of defense, her role as Naraku's informant allowing her to watch Kagome closely without drawing any suspicion. While she could not remain physically close to Kagome too often, she could use Kanna's mirror to keep an eye on her while also checking often for any movement on the wakō's end.

After a bit over a month of this play-acting, Kagura had finally gotten word that the Chinese Emperor's ships had successfully driven the wakō off. She had been told by Kanna who had facilitated the conversation through her mirror that the wakō were well and truly done with Naraku's scheming and that Naraku was now aware that this pivotal piece of his plan had fallen through.

They had all gone on high alert after this, waiting to see if he would take the bait. And finally, as if on cue, exactly a week later the note had come.

Kagome's eyes squeezed shut against the memory, the force of it nearly overwhelming her as it had so many times before.

If only they had known. If only they had realized that Naraku was too cautious and too clever by far to ever let slip all of his plans to any one person.

The night that Kagome had received that note she had believed instinctively that it was him. While it was not unusual for Inuyasha to summon her to a meeting under the cover of night, the Daigokuden was a somewhat odd choice for it and the timing seemed too much of a coincidence to be dismissed out of hand. It would make sense, as well, for Naraku to invoke Inuyasha's name as a way to draw her out, especially considering the show they had been so careful to put on for him.

Yes, she had felt with a cold chill of certainty that this was him.

She had dispatched a quick note to Inuyasha through one of Chūsei's servants to alert him, stressing to the woman the importance that it be brought with all haste to him and that it was for his eyes only.

She had sent another note off to Hojo who she had harassed into taking a rest for that night, the poor guardsmen having been up for nearly three straight days with barely a handful of hours of sleep in between. He had tried to send another guard to take his place, but Kagome had refused as she was certain she could get along for a few hours with just the watchful eyes of Sesshoumaru and Kagura on her.

There was no way to get word reliably to Sesshoumaru as he kept himself well concealed, so she had simply had to trust that he would follow after her. Similarly Kagura could be counted on to keep eyes on her, so surely she would follow when she saw her up and moving about in the deepest hours of the night.

She had opted not to bring her bow, hoping that the element of surprise would be the stronger weapon. If Naraku believed that she thought she was merely headed to a confrontation with Inuyasha, bringing a weapon would only serve to tip him off that she knew more than she should and might end up driving him off before they could confront him.

No, if they wanted all of this effort to mean something, she would need to appear to fall fully into his trap and to trust that her companions would be there to back her up.

But then…A shudder passed through her, the memory of those golden eyes still burning bright in her mind's eye.

She had not known, Kagura had told them later. In all of her long years of forced servitude, in all that she had ever been forced to bear witness to, she had never seen him do it, had never known fully what he was capable of.

In truth, once he had faked his death and left the court, she had rarely ever seen him outside of the reflection in Kanna's mirror. He preferred to move through incarnations and servants, to keep from ever risking himself fully unless the task was crucial enough to warrant it.

She had known that something in him had changed, that he was not the waif of a human boy that had been dragged into the court so many years ago, but she had never known that he could wear another's face and form.

This she had told Kagome after, the uncharacteristic furrow of her brow betraying that the explanation went deeper than a mere bid to be absolved of blame for what had happened. Though Kagura was more than willing to use any tool at her disposal to get free of Naraku, Kagome knew that ultimately she would not have seen her hurt if it could have been avoided.

They should have considered the possibility, Kagome had replied to her, the words as much a condemnation of herself as of Kagura. With all they knew of Naraku, they should have considered that he was not beyond using illusion to trap them if he could.

But it had not been mere illusion. It had been somehow…more. Even what she had experienced in the Northern Kitsune clan land paled in comparison.

She had walked into the Daigokuden fully expecting an attack and instead there had been…that. Every aspect of that monster had mimicked the man she loved, even down to the feel of his youki and the scent of him when he came close.

And she, like a fool, had thought that Inuyasha had received her note and had come rushing to the Daigokuden to meet her. That he was there to protect her, to lie in wait in the shadows until Naraku's arrival to ensure she would be safe. She could sense only the two of them there, so surely they had a moment to prepare themselves before Naraku's arrival. Fool, fool, fool.

When he had spoken those words, the words they had so carefully crafted to convince Naraku of their weakness, she had experienced a feeling of sickness so deep it was a wonder she had not doubled over with it. And she had known with dreadful certainty that their trap had been turned against her. Fool, fool, fool.

Her mind had spun wildly, searching for any way that this could be salvaged. They had not worked this hard, come this far, for all of it to come to naught.

To cry out would be to ask for death, his arms tight around her had made sure of that. Nor, when she stretched her senses out, could she feel any of her companions nearby-where were they now of all moments?-meaning even should she sacrifice herself he would likely disappear into the night after pulling the jewel from her corpse. No, much as every bit of her screamed in protest, she could not cry out.

The only weapon left to her was knowledge. If she could just play into his ruse long enough to find an opening, to stall for enough time for her companions to reach her…

And so, though everything inside her railed against it, she had leaned in for all that she was worth.

Only to find that there was one final betrayal to come.

Kagome had spent countless hours since that day mulling over what had happened in those last moments, though much of it was a blur past the moment when the jewel had emerged from her body. Despite turning it over and over again in her mind, despite reexamining the moment from every angle she could conceive of, it never became any clearer to her why the jewel had chosen that moment to betray her.

When she had asked Midoriko her thoughts on the matter, the O-miko could offer her little more than a frown and a sad shake of her head. The jewel, she said, was not a thing of this world. It had a strange force, almost a will, all its own, one that no mortal would ever be likely to fully comprehend. What it had done in that moment, why it had chosen to emerge, was according to a will that was far beyond their own.

Cold comfort, Kagome thought, fingers brushing idly against the remaining half of the jewel that now hung on a chain around her neck. It, too, was cold now, the power seeming to have gone out of it the moment it was fractured. At first she had had no desire to be anywhere near it, the jagged half-sphere nothing but a reminder of a thousand moments she would sooner forget, but ultimately she could not bring herself to leave even the useless shell of it in anyone else's care.

Stifling a yawn with her hand, Kagome forced herself to stand and stretch her limbs. She was tired, could feel the heavy press of sleep blurring her thoughts, but she knew well enough from the dark turn of her memories tonight that sleep would bring no real rest with it. Better to stay awake where she had some say at least in her own torment.

"Kagome?"

The voice was quiet, tentative. Kagome glanced up into the branches of the tree above her, tamping down the instinctive flinch that the sight of those golden eyes inspired.

Inuyasha met her look, even the darkness unable to completely conceal the hesitance in his expression. Kagome suppressed a frown, knowing full well that that look was her fault and that any sign of discomfort from her would only serve to send him scurrying into the highest branch of that tree.

Such had been the awful, uneasy nature of things between them since that horrid night. He seldom left her side if he could avoid it, his presence a constant shadow at the edge of her vision, but nor would he venture much closer than arm's length. And, perhaps worse, there were moments when she was not sure that she wanted him to.

Though she knew, by the kami she knew, that it had not been Inuyasha that she had faced that night, that it had not been his claws that pierced her flesh or his cold eyes that had looked on as the life bled out of her, that knowledge had not stopped the nightmares that had followed. Had not stopped the cold sweat that the sight of his claws catching the firelight inspired or the faint trembling in her limbs that sometimes occurred when his eyes met hers.

Worse than her own mind and body betraying her, however, was watching it betray him. Inuyasha was too attuned to her by far not to notice the shift in her and he had been quick to withdraw at the first sign of her discomfort, though he was unwilling to let her wholly out of his sight.

His guilt over that night, by itself a wound that would be a long time in healing, was only deepened by the shift in her reactions towards him. And how could she convince him to forgive himself, convince him that there was nothing to forgive, when she struggled to meet his gaze half of the time?

Naraku had been thorough in his deception that night, ensuring that both Inuyasha and Kagome would be exactly where he needed them to be. Kagura and Sesshoumaru, as it was recounted to Kagome later that night, had seen her slip out from her chambers not long before the darkest part of the night. They had trailed after her, keeping their respective covers and prepared should this be the signal that the time had finally come.

They had followed her all the way to the En no Matsubara, watching as she sat down among its roots to wait. Inuyasha had arrived shortly after her and she had risen to meet him, speaking so softly they could hardly catch a word of what was being said.

She had been talking about the note she had sent him, Inuyasha had put in, his expression dark. He had received a note saying that she urgently needed to see him and that she would be waiting for him in the En no Matsubara. He had hurried out to meet her, concerned that perhaps something had gone awry with their plan to draw out Naraku.

He had grimaced as he had spoken the words, his fists clenched so tight that she had seen small pricks of blood where his claws pierced the flesh of his palms. If only they had known.

She had approached him, had wrapped her arms around him and told him how glad she was that he had come. Even then he had suspected nothing, everything down to her scent the same as it had always been. No, it had not been until she had begun to speak, begging his forgiveness for all that had gone on between them, that he realized that something was wrong.

At the first sign of his suspicion a barrier had sprung up around them and the En no Matsubara, the illusion before him unraveling in the blink of an eye. Before him stood a minor youkai of the Taira clan, around its neck a strange gourd into which the image of Kagome seemed to vanish.

The youkai had been quick to spring an attack, but had been almost pathetically easy to destroy. The barrier, on the other hand, proved almost impossible to pierce even with the Tessaiga.

Kagura, however, had recognized the gourd as soon as it had been revealed. Working quickly, she had found Byakuya lurking just on the fringes of the En no Matsubara. Between her and Sesshoumaru, they had managed to corner and defeat him quickly enough.

Byakuya, Kagura said, was a master illusionist, capable of a depth of illusion that even kitsune were envious of. The barrier had fallen as soon as he was done away with, and as she had suspected they found in his gourd several strands of Kagome's hair. With access to something like this, Byakuya could create an illusion so thorough that even a parent would be hard pressed to distinguish the illusion of their child from the real thing.

Quick on the heels of this realization, however, was a far more troubling one. The youkai Byakuya had chosen to wear the illusion was weak at best, someone Naraku would have been well aware was too weak to defeat Inuyasha even with the element of surprise on its side. Which could only mean that the purpose of the illusion had never been to kill Inuyasha, but merely to lure and hold him within the barrier.

Scarcely had she shared the thought aloud before Inuyasha was off, barrelling back towards the Dairi. Sesshoumaru and Kagura could do nothing but follow.

They had found her chambers empty upon their return save for her attendant for the night who still slept on soundly. The poor woman had nearly broken down into hysterics at being woken abruptly by Inuyasha's frantic calls for Kagome, her distress only growing as Inuyasha demanded answers of her when Kagome was nowhere to be found.

Thankfully the woman had been spared further interrogation by the arrival of a servant, red-faced and out of breath. She had been searching for him frantically throughout the Dairi, entrusted by Kagome with a note for him that she had been told it was critical that he receive.

The note had sent them racing the rest of the way to the Daigokuden where they had found her clinging with her last breath to the jewel as Naraku attempted to pry it away from her.

In a twisted way they had been fortunate, Kagura had said lowly, her eyes still roving the mangled lump of flesh that had once been her tormentor with grim satisfaction. The struggle over the jewel had distracted Naraku enough to keep him from noticing their approach and had prevented him from fleeing until it was too late. They had been outmaneuvered by the bastard, but in the end they had still gotten the better of him.

Kagome had feared Inuyasha might strike her then, his knuckles white against the hilt of his sword where he gripped it. Although Kagome was fairly certain that the words had been meant as some sort of strange praise of her, she had been tempted to take a swing at the woman herself.

"Kagome?"

The repetition of her name drew her abruptly from her thoughts and Kagome blinked, surprised to realize how quickly she had been carried off again by the current of those memories. Perhaps it was simply due to a lack of sleep, but more and more often recently she seemed to lose track of her mind like this.

She forced a smile, shaking her head.

"Sorry," she said. "I drifted off there for a moment. Is everything alright?"

Inuyasha frowned slightly, shaking his head.

"No," he said. "I mean, yeah, I'm fine. I just…are you…?"

He trailed off, at a loss as he so often seemed to be with her now. Kagome drew the blanket closer around her shoulders, forcing her smile not to waver.

"Just having a bit of trouble sleeping," she said in what she hoped passed for a casual tone. "I just wanted to stretch my limbs a bit, clear my head, you know? Nothing to worry about."

Inuyasha gave a small nod, though nothing in his expression indicated that he was not worried about it.

"Do you…want to talk about it?"

Kagome blinked, biting back another frown. The question hung heavy in the air between them.

Though Inuyasha had limited her movements to the Dairi and acted almost as a second shadow to her in the week that had passed since that awful night, they had spoken remarkably little to one another in all that time. At first Kagome had been able to dismiss it as shock, the both of them needing time to process the enormity of everything that had occurred.

But as the days slipped by and the silence only continued to grow, suddenly it seemed that there was too much to talk about and that there were not enough words in the whole of the world to express it all. Her every thought and feeling since that night had felt hopelessly tangled and even the idea of trying to summon the energy to untangle them had left her feeling drained.

They could not go on like this, though. The biggest of their problems had been resolved with Naraku's death and the destruction of the jewel, but they could hardly afford to sit back and rest. There was still the new Ministry branch, the question of the Taira clan, the distant threat of Menōmaro, the problem of the treatment of the servants within the court, the fulfillment of their agreements with the villages, the question of an Empress and an heir-

Kagome pressed a hand to her temple as if it could slow the torrent of her thoughts. No, there was still too much to be done for them to continue on like this, each of them tip-toeing around the other.

She opened her mouth, determined to break the silence at last.

"Not tonight," she found herself saying, surprised by the words even as they left her. "I think I just need to rest."

Her gaze fell to the base of the tree, hands clenching in the fabric of the blanket. Coward, she cursed herself. When had she become such a coward?

"Oh," he said, and even without looking she knew that he was drawing back. "Yeah. Sorry. I-I'll keep watch. Get some rest."

That was the way of it now. Even though they had spent every night of the last week at their place tucked in the back of the garden adjoining Inuyasha's chambers, the hanyou had not once attempted to sleep at her side. Kagome was beginning to worry that he was not sleeping at all, every night spent keeping watch over her from the branches of the tree just beside the building.

The one time she had managed to swallow back her nerves for long enough to invite him in, he had rebuffed her so quickly it had almost made her head spin. He would not risk leaving her unguarded, he had said, effectively ending the conversation before it could even begin.

She had thought for a moment of trying to talk sense into him. Naraku was gone, she had wanted to say. What other threat was so pressing that she needed to be guarded night and day against it?

Ultimately she had said nothing, though, well aware that what drove him to keep this constant vigil over her was not something that could be reasoned with. She had her own irrational fear to contend with, after all, and to that awful part of her it was a relief not to risk feeling those clawed hands against her skin as she slept.

"Good night, Inuyasha," she murmured, suppressing a sigh as she turned to go inside.

"...good night, Kagome."

Inside, Kagome settled in atop the futon, determined to stay awake despite the insistent tug of sleep against all of her senses. Sleep could only bring with it more of the same nightmares, and she had enough to concern herself with in the waking world to want to add to it.

Outside she could sense Inyasha shift, settling in for a long night of his own. She allowed the sigh to escape her at last, resting her head atop her bent knees.

They had done it, she told herself had done it.

…but at what cost?

The following morning dawned with unexpected clarity. Or perhaps her capacity for aimless misery had finally been exhausted.

Either way, Kagome decided as light began to creep slowly into the room around her that it was time to get back to it. They could not simply keep themselves holed away in the Dairi, especially when there was no explanation they could offer to anyone in the court to explain why.

Even the Taira, Kagura had said, were likely to be largely unaware that anything had changed. As far as she knew, she, Kanna, and Byakuya were some of the few among them that were even aware of Naraku's existence. A few other puppets among them might suddenly find their strings cut, but it was difficult to know how much they would even be aware of the shift.

All the more reason to check in on them, Kagome thought. It would be good to gauge the state of things among them, to judge for themselves if there was any more cause for concern there.

And the best and quickest way she could think to do it for the moment would be to resume their walks about the court. An event could be manufactured later, a celebration of some kind, to gather the clans together and investigate further, but for that they would need time and some sort of pretense. A stroll would suffice for now.

Perhaps some return to routine would be good for them, as well. Perhaps if they acted as they had before, tended to their duties as they had before, things could be something like they were before.

Kagome nodded to herself, rubbing her bleary eyes to clear them and forcing herself to rise. Time to get back to it.

Inuyasha was quick to alight at her side as she emerged. Close, but not too close. Never too close anymore.

"We need to go out into the court today," she said, preempting any inquiries into her wellbeing. "The walks. It's time to resume them. I'll go ready myself and meet you in the Daigokuden shortly."

From the corner of her eye she caught his flinch. Her choice of location might be a bit harsh, but it seemed fitting. If they were ever to step being haunted by the specter of that night, they needed to face it head on. And what better time than while she was spurred on by a momentary burst of courage?

"Kagome-"

She held up a hand to forestall the argument she could hear building behind that one word. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to meet his eyes squarely.

Inuyasha blinked, taking an almost instinctive half-step back from her. Had it really been so long since she had met his eyes?

"I think that it's time," she said, trying to soften her look even as her traitorous pulse sped up at the sight of him. "Even with…even with him gone, we have duties to attend to, responsibilities to those around us. We needed time to recover and we took it, but we cannot hide away and lick our wounds forever. Or else what was the point of it all?"

A frown edged Inuyasha's lips and she could almost see the denial as it sprung to his lips. Surprisingly, though, he seemed to think better of the words, his gaze dropping to the ground between them.

"Are you sure?" he said after a beat, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "You…I mean, I…You don't have to do this, Kagome. What happened to you…kami, Kagome, no one would blame you for taking more time. For taking a break. You could stay in the Dairi. I could double your guard, make sure you're safe…"

The words were spoken with a certain degree of resignation, as if he knew full well even as he spoke them that she would not agree. Kagome wanted to reach out, wanted to touch his hand, but found that she could not quite make herself.

"I will not leave you alone to deal with all of this while I hide away," she said instead. "We've gotten this far together, haven't we? And some things…some things will take time, but I would much rather that time be spent continuing our work than dwelling endlessly on something that cannot be changed."

His frown deepened at that, his eyes seeking hers from beneath the fringe of his lashes.

"Kagome…I've failed you so many times-"

"You know I don't think that!"

"You don't," he returned, shaking his head. "You don't. You never try to blame anyone, even when there's more than enough blame to go around. But I…."

He trailed off. Kagome frowned, feeling the first flickers of anger warming her limbs. The feeling was a relief, almost a comfort, after the past week of emptiness and fear.

"So what?" she said, the words emerging a bit harsher than she had meant them to. "You would rather be without me? Would rather lock me away in a cage of your making than deal with the fact that you cannot control everything?"

"If I lost you-"

"You would go on," Kagome said, meeting his eyes squarely. "Because we do not have the luxury of going to pieces. This nation, its people, depend on you, Inuyasha, and I know that's not fair, but there's nothing we can do to change it. I will be by your side, will shoulder it with you, until my last breath, but I need you to be able to go on without me if it comes to it."

Inuyasha recoiled, the hurt in his face as stark as if she had struck him. He shook his head, his eyes searching hers.

"You don't get it," he said at last. "This shit is mine to live with, I get that, but you…I did this to you. I brought you here. I refused to let you go when I could have. Kami, I agreed to that stupid fucking plan and it got you killed."

Kagome felt a tremor sweep through her at the words, felt herself tense against them. She felt the bite of her nails against her palms as her hands curled into fists at her sides.

"I understand just fine," she bit out. "But I refuse to become yet another burden for you to carry. I won't. So meet me in the Daigokuden or don't, but either way I will be going."

She spun on her heel, striding as quickly as she could manage through the small gap in the garden wall and back towards her residence. Her face felt hot and she could hear the drumming of her pulse in her ears. She forced herself to stop and take a deep breath when it became clear that Inuyasha was not following her. She stood just outside the walkway to her chambers and pressed a hand to her chest, willing herself back together again.

Part of her felt bad for snapping at him. She knew well enough that his concern for her came from a good place, from a place of wanting to ensure she was safe and that he kept his word to protect her.

For the moment, though, there was simply not enough left in her to meet his worries with any kind of grace. Even just that slight reminder of what had happened coming from him, coming from the face she had gazed into as she had lain dying, was enough to make her feel like her nerves had been dragged over jagged rocks.

Kagome sighed, shaking her head. That was not Inuyasha's fault. That blame lay with a dead man and it was well past time she put the aftermath of it to rest with him. Assuming Inuyasha did opt to participate in the stroll, she would simply have to apologize to him for overreacting.

Nodding to herself, Kagome headed into her chambers to begin preparations.

Inuyasha did end up showing up to the Daigokuden, though much to her chagrin Kagome was unable to manage her intended apology when he did. Instead she had offered him a curt nod before scurrying out of the building as quickly as her feet would carry her, every shadow in that room filled with a darkness that threatened to smother her if she tarried too long. She had definitely underestimated the sway the place still held over her.

Inuyasha, apparently somewhat more in possession of himself than she was, was kind enough not to comment on her hasty exit or the cold sweat that must have been glistening on her brow. Although a lack of comment soon proved itself the theme of the day, the two of them traversing the court with scarcely a word passing between them.

Kagome could only assume that he must still be irritated with her at her high-handedness in insisting that they go out into the court. She was grateful, though, that even despite whatever ill feelings he might be harboring he had still decided to accompany her. The feel of the courtiers' eyes roving over her, the press of them when they ventured to approach, was enough to quickly strip away any bravado she had felt that morning and Inuyasha's solid presence at her side was often the only thing that kept her from fleeing back to the safety of their place in the Dairi.

Materially there was not much change she could observe as they went about. The courtiers seemed to have taken their withdrawal for the past week as some natural consequence of them working closely with the appointees on the now widely rumored new Ministry branch. While Kagome was not overly thrilled to learn word had gotten out about that before they had intended it to, she was relieved to see that there did not appear to be any immediate staunch opposition to it.

Similarly the courtiers continued to be endlessly preoccupied with speculation on when the announcement of Inuyasha's choice of Empress and any consorts might be made. They seemed convinced that the week's seclusion must be a sign that it would be soon. Kagome broke out into another cold sweat at the very mention of it, a pit opening in her stomach that she half hoped would swallow her whole.

She studiously avoided looking at Inuyasha whenever the topic was hinted at, though she felt the force of his presence increase unbearably each time. It felt like an eternity ago that they had decided that floating the rumor of the selection of an Empress would be a key component in drawing Naraku out. They had all agreed that it was a good idea, though, and the time was fast approaching that they would need to deal with the repercussions of that choice.

But not quite yet, Kagome decided, offering no more than vague assurances and polite smiles to any courtier who hinted at the matter. It could wait a bit longer, surely just a bit longer until they could get themselves together again.

Thankfully, though, for all of the discomfort it brought, the stroll did not amount to a complete loss. At first Kagome was concerned when they saw nary a member of the Taira clan as they went about, but the oddity of this quickly struck her. What were the odds that not a single member of the Taira would be out, even after word of her and Inuyasha's reemergence spread?

The strangeness of this drove her to guide their steps gradually towards the Taira main house. There they found them, or at least a few of them, moving listlessly about. They were quiet, watchful in a way that Kagome had never seen from them before. It was as if they were emerging from a long sleep, blinking hazy eyes against the harsh light and trying to parse reality from dreams.

Or perhaps from nightmares, Kagome thought, observing the haunted quality to their stares. Either way the tentative responses and hasty retreats of the few they did manage to approach were a clear indicator of the state of things in the Taira house. They would have to continue to keep an eye on them for a while to make sure, but it was heartening in a way to see that the Taira may well have been just as much victims in all of this as the rest of them.

Her main aim achieved, Kagome decided it was for the best that they head back to the Dairi as she could increasingly sense Inuyasha's agitation. Or perhaps that was her own, her nerves stretched thinner and thinner with every encounter.

Either way, there was no need to push themselves to breaking on their first venture back out. Naraku was gone. They could afford to take things one at a time without his threat looming over them.

Their return to the Dairi was made largely in the same silence that had pervaded the day's outing. A few times Kagome opened her mouth, searching for some comment that might spark a conversation between them on what they had observed that day, but every time a quick glance at Inuyasha brought her up short.

It was not anger precisely that she observed in him. No, his ire she would have understood. There was something deeper there, something she did not recognize in him, and it was that more than anything that stilled her tongue.

They parted ways with the barest of good-byes, no mention made even of seeing one another that night. Still Kagome slipped out of her chambers and went to their place that night, her attendance by the court women each night having been paused the night of the incident. Much as Kagome liked most of the women, she was in no real rush to resume the practice.

She was relieved to find Inuyasha there. He had already taken up his position in the tree, however, and several feeble attempts from her yielded no success in moving him. She settled herself on the porch, speaking aloud for a time of her observations from the stroll and her thoughts on them. It was easier somehow to say it without having to look him in the eye as she did.

He offered a few words of acknowledgement here and there, but there was a vagueness to his responses that told her his mind was elsewhere. After a time she gave up on getting him to share his own thoughts, bidding him goodnight before tucking herself into their futon alone.

They had done it, she reminded herself for what felt like the thousandth time as she lay there. They had done it and they had time. Surely given a bit of time things would begin to feel normal again.

Her sleep that night was blessedly dreamless, but she woke to find the hollow feeling in her chest had only widened.

"Would it be in poor taste to tell a person who has died that they look like a ghost?"

Kagome found herself blinking owlishly at the woman across from her as her mind tried to catch up with the absurd statement, her mouth gaping in what she was fairly certain was a most unbecoming imitation of a fish.

Kagura grimaced at the sight, confirming that suspicion quickly enough. Still there was a faint amusement in those blood red eyes as she lifted one shoulder in a casual shrug.

"Definitely in poor taste, then. Point taken," she said. "However, the point also still stands that you look positively awful, especially for someone who should be reveling in their victory right now."

Kagome felt her jaw work, but no coherent thought emerged and after a moment she simply shook her head.

"Please tell me, Kagura-sama, that you did not seek me out simply to bully me," she said at last, biting back a sigh.

A grin lit Kagura's face that said clearly enough that that was exactly what she had been doing. She offered another slight and wholly unrepentant shrug.

"Bullying seems a bit harsh," she said. "After all, would you not prefer to know when you look a mess rather than just having everyone whisper about it behind your back? Besides, I would hardly say I sought you out. I simply happened to catch sight of you while on the way to my destination and thought I should at least stop to greet you."

"And what a truly unique greeting it was," Kagome returned archly. "Please do not let me keep you from your destination, though. Where are you headed-?"

She cut herself off, her eyes alighting on the wing of the Chūwain just visible through the doorway of the record room in which she sat. She felt a grin tug at the corners of her lips, her eyes sliding back to the woman across from her.

"Ah," she said, feeling a bit of teasing of her own was only fair. "Headed to a clandestine meeting, are you, Kagura-sama?"

Kagura's grin only widened further, the curve of those blood red lips turning positively wicked.

"What can I say?" she said. "There's so much lost time to be made up for. And we do make up for it. Why, sometimes we even make up for it two or three times in a day-"

"Kami!" Kagome exclaimed, fighting the juvenile urge to cover her ears even as she could feel her face burning.

"What?" Kagura said. "As if you're such an innocent. Why, I imagine if he's anything like his brother, it's a wonder the two of you manage to get anything else done in a day."

"No, no, no, no," Kagome broke in, shaking her head. "We are absolutely not having this conversation. No."

Kagura laughed and the sight of her momentarily distracted Kagome from her mortification. The sound was loud, louder than would ever have been acceptable in polite company, and in her face there was an unrestrained glee that was contagious. She looked…free.

Kagome felt her ire evaporate like early morning mist in the face of the rising sun, felt for the first time since that night some of the weight lift from her shoulders. Kagura was free. They had done it.

"I…" she said, trailing off when she realized she was not entirely sure what she wanted to say. "I am sorry that we've not been able to figure out a better arrangement for Sesshoumaru-sama outside of the Chūwain yet."

Some of the mirth went out of Kagura's expression, but the brightness in her eyes remained. She offered a small shrug as if the daiyoukai's continued confinement was of no particular importance.

"I think we all understand that situation to be a complicated one," she said. "I mean, he did very publicly attempt treason. And murder. So did I, for that matter, but my efforts were discreet enough that I can still be allowed among polite company."

"Besides, he and I both understand that we owe something of a debt to you after what happened that night. You were under no obligation to put yourself at risk as you did, but you chose to anyway. As for all the rest…well, we have time now. Time and freedom. With those two things, all the rest becomes possible."

The latter was spoken more to herself than to Kagome, a soft smile just lifting the corners of her lips. Kagome felt an answering smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

The clattering of the shoji door being all but thrown open startled the smile from her face. A guardsman stood there amongst her assigned guard, red-faced and straining to catch his breath.

"O-Miko-sama," he panted. "Your presence is being urgently requested at the Tachibana residence. Tachibana Sango-sama and her party have returned, but one of them is badly injured."

Kagome was on her feet almost before he had finished speaking, feeling as if her heart had risen into her throat.

"Take me to them," she said.

"O-Miko-sama," interrupted one of her guards hesitantly. "We only informed his Majesty that we would be going to the Chūwain and returning. His Majesty would need to be informed and give his approval before-"

"There's no time for that," Kagome snapped, barely able to think past the rising panic filling her chest. Who was hurt? How badly?

"I can inform his Majesty," Kagura put in, rising to stand at Kagome's side. "It should only take me a moment and I am sure the Tennō-sama would not wish to keep her from going to the side of her companions if they are in need."

"And should he not understand, tell him I forced your hand," Kagome said, pushing past them. "Thank you, Kagura-sama. Please ask his Majesty to meet us at the Tachibana residence as soon as he can!"

Kagura nodded and Kagome caught a glimpse of her disappearing in a swirl of wind as she pressed onward, her guard forced to follow along in her wake. She took the stairs leading down from the Chūwain two at a time, breaking into a run as soon as her feet cleared the final step.

She was sweating despite the mildness of the day by the time she reached the Tachibana residence, a sharp stitch in her side reminding her painfully of how accustomed she had become to the sedentary life of the Dairi.

There was a flurry of activity surrounding the gates to the residence, servants darting here and there and courtiers gathered about to try and discern what all of the fuss was about. Kagome's guard made room for her to move past them and they were allowed passage without question as soon the guards at the gate saw who she was.

The guard that had come to fetch her took the lead as they entered, guiding them past clusters of distressed servants and Tachibana clan members. He led them down a hallway Kagome out to a large detached building that Kagome vaguely recalled was normally reserved for visitors staying with the clan.

As they entered one of the larger rooms in the building the surrounding chaos quieted abruptly, only a handful of people present in the room huddled around something in the center.

Kagome's eyes immediately went to the familiar form of a woman kneeling beside what she realized was a futon as she came nearer. The woman's head snapped up at her approach, her eyes growing wide.

"Kagome!"

"Sango!"

The two women nearly threw themselves at one another, meeting in an embrace that nearly knocked all of the remaining breath from Kagome's lungs. Still Kagome only hung on more tightly, part of her convinced if she let go that the other woman might simply vanish.

"Kami," Sango choked out, the trembling in her limbs echoing through Kagome as she clung to her like a lifeline. "Kami, I'm so glad to see you. It's…it's been so awful. We followed Kohaku and…kami, it's Miroku. You have to help him! Please, you have to-!"

A rising sob choked off her words. Kagome pressed her back just enough to see her face. Tears tracked through what looked like several days worth of grime clinging to her cheeks. The bags beneath her eyes were so deep they almost looked like bruises and actual bruises speckled almost every stretch of visible flesh. She looked as though she had been dragged through the seventh layer of hell, but as far as Kagome could see there were no life threatening wounds on her.

Her eyes darted to the figure lying prone on the futon and she felt her stomach drop.

Miroku lay there, still as death and twice as pale beneath a layer of filth that rivaled Sango's. A sheen of sweat coated his skin, his brow furrowed in pain even in unconsciousness. A few of the men surrounding him, court healers from the look at them, worked to remove some of the grime, to cool his fever and identify the wound.

Kagome twisted, refusing to let Sango go as she clasped her hand tightly and knelt down at the houshi's side. The healers made way for them as they knelt at his side, Kagome's eyes roving his form from head to toe. He was thin, pale, sweating as if in the deepest throes of a fever, but there was no obvious sign of a wound on him.

"What happened to him?" Kagome asked, her hand trembling faintly as she reached out to clasp his hand where it lay atop the covers. It was so hot that she nearly released it in her surprise, the warmth radiating from him beyond anything she had ever encountered before.

"His hand," Sango forced out past the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. "We…we followed Kohaku, but it…it was a trap. They were waiting. Saimyōshō, so many of them that we stood no chance. They attacked and he...Miroku opened some sort of…something that pulled the saimyōshō into his hand. Into his hand, Kagome! And then-then the thing in his hand just closed, but it was too late. He collapsed and-"

The tears overwhelmed her at last, days and days of despair just barely beat back by the thin hope that maybe, just maybe they could make it in time. Kagome's hand tightened around hers, her mind scrambling to make sense of the story.

Her eyes fell on Miroku's other hand and she was struck by the lack of rosary around it. The rosary sealed his curse. But the rosary was gone. Naraku was gone. The curse was gone. The curse was gone.

The dizzying moment of joy at the thought was quickly snuffed out by the very real sight of her friend still suffering before her. She strained to gather her thoughts, trying to bring her spiritual senses to bear.

His hand, the hand opposite her, there was something wrong with it. And whatever it was was spreading, a deep purple akin to a bruise leaching with thin fingers from his hand up into the rest of his body. But it had not reached his heart.

"We can save him," she gasped, scrambling up and over to his other side. "We can save him! The poison has not yet reached his heart!"

She fell to her knees on his other side, grasping his hand in both of hers. The heat rolling off of his skin was stunning, almost enough to make her drop his hand in her surprise. Whatever poison was contained in the youkai he had taken in was incredibly potent, threatening his life even as at last the curse had been lifted from him.

Kagome's eyes fell shut, her spiritual sense narrowing in on that poison. The amount of it that she could sense in him was immense, thick tendrils of it creeping slowly through almost every part of him. His breathing was labored even in unconsciousness, his chest rising in short, sharp gasps that revealed the intense amount of pain he must be in.

She willed her power into him through his hand, willed it to slow the spread of that unnatural poison. She strained, searching for the wellspring of her power beyond that cursed place in her hip. That was gone now and it was up to her to save this man, her first friend in the court.

Bile rose in her throat, tremors spreading through her frame as she dug deeper and deeper for enough power to counter the poison. She willed it to cage the poison, to force it back bit by bit. Soon she was sweating with the effort of it, her hands shaking so badly that it was a struggle just to hold on to him. Still she willed herself to continue, determined that she would purge as much of it from him as possible.

Abruptly she felt a pair of hands come down on her shoulders, dragging her forcibly back from him. Kagome blinked, disoriented and surprised to find Midoriko at her side.

"Did you not hear us calling to you?" she said, voice hard. "You have to stop. Any more and you risk draining yourself completely!"

"But…" Kagome panted, struggling to catch her breath. "The poison…I need to purify it. Miroku is still-"

"Let me help," Midoriko said, her tone softening. "That is why I was summoned, after all. It looks like you have managed to contain it. With the amount of shōki in him, that might be the best that we can do for the time being."

A glance at the houshi showed that his breathing had slowed and the strain in his expression had eased somewhat. He appeared to have fallen into a more natural sleep which was certainly a sign of improvement. Still Kagome hesitated, unable to force herself away from him until she was sure that he would be alright.

Midoriko shot her a stern look, gently nudging her out of the way and taking up her place at Miroku's side. Her eyes slid shut as she took his hand between hers, the force of her power filling the room as she picked up where Kagome had left off.

Kagome frowned, but resigned herself to sitting back to allow the woman to work. Midoriko was a powerful miko, she reminded herself. Miroku was in good hands.

Her gaze landed on Sango, still clutching Miroku's other hand as if she could tether him to this world by sheer force of will. Her red-rimmed eyes were wide as they met Kagome's and Kagome rose on shaky legs to return to her side.

She knelt down beside her and almost instinctively their hands found one another, clasping tight.

"Are you alright?" she said. "I'm so sorry. I did not mean-"

Kagome shook her head.

"No, you did the right thing, Sango," she said. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to him and I was not here to help. And he will be alright. We will get the shōki contained and purified and-"

She cut herself off, well aware that they were far from being able to guarantee Miroku's recovery. Sango seemed to sense this, her throat working as she swallowed back another wash of tears that threatened to spill over.

"He was protecting us," she said, her voice cracking around the words. "I led us right into an ambush and he protected us. His hand…kami, his hand. I never knew…I never…"

Kagome squeezed her hand tight, hoping to keep her grief from overwhelming her.

"Tell me what happened, Sango," she urged. "Take me through it step by step. The more we know, the more we can do to help him."

Sango nodded,the request providing the momentary distraction that Kagome had hoped it would. Her mouth worked for several moments, her gaze growing distant as she struggled to gather her thoughts.

"Kohaku's trail led us to the east of the court," she said. "Scarcely a few days' ride away. I was so focused on catching up to him, so sure we were finally close enough that we might be able to, that I didn't realize where we were until we were almost on top of it."

She paused, her eyes sliding shut against the force of the memory. Kagome squeezed her hand, silently urging her on.

"It…it was the Fujiwara residence," Sango continued, shaking her head. "It was…it was on fire. There were flames everywhere and we-"

Her words were cut short by the clattering of the shoji being thrown back on its hinges. Both women jumped, startled by the sudden entrance of the newcomer.

Inuyasha stood in the doorway, Kagura several steps behind him. The stark fear in his expression told Kagome clearly enough that he had heard Sango's last words. His eyes darted from Kagome to Sango to Miroku as if he could not quite process it all. At last his gaze settled back on Sango.

"The Fujiwara residence," he said. "What happened?"

"Y-Your Majesty," Sango said, half-moving as if to rise.

Inuyasha shook his head.

"What happened?" he pressed, more forcefully this time.

Sango grimaced, the pain in her face speaking volumes. A cold wave of dread swept over Kagome, realization suddenly hitting her.

Kikyou.

"There was a fire," Sango repeated, her head bowed and her voice now scarcely above whisper. "The whole residence was ablaze. I led us in, hoping we might be of aid, but…but it was an ambush. Hundreds of saimyōshō came pouring out. We were blinded by smoke, trapped by the growing flames, and I…I could hear people were crying out, but we could not reach them."

Her eyes squeezed shut, tears pouring forth from beneath her clenched lids. Her entire frame shook with the force of her grief and Kagome wanted to reach out to her, to gather her up and soothe her, but she was frozen in horror at the story spilling forth.

"Miroku-Houshi-sama, I mean, he…he pulled the rosary from his hand and suddenly there was this horrid howling of wind," she said. "And he…he pulled the saimyōshō in somehow. They…they disappeared into his hand. And then Kohaku emerged from the smoke, he attacked us and…and then he suddenly just stopped. He just stopped."

"It was as if he had woken from a dream. He looked at me, actually looked at me, and asked me what was happening. Asked where he was."

She shook her head, the lingering disbelief clear in her expression.

"I don't know what happened, but suddenly he had come back to himself. I…I told him I would explain later, that I needed his help to search the buildings and we did…we did, but there was no one left…no one left that was…"

She trailed off, bowing her head so low it nearly touched the floor. The unspoken word hung heavily in the silence among them.

Alive. There was no one left alive.

"Forgive me, Tennō-sama," she said. "We searched, but there was no one to be found and Miroku-sama was growing worse by the moment. He had taken in so much poison trying to protect us. I knew if we did not hurry, did not get him to a healer quickly…"

She trailed off. The silence that followed was nearly suffocating.

Abruptly Inuyasha turned and hurried off back down the hall. He was gone from sight before Kagome could gather enough of her wits to think to call after him.

Kagura met her gaze with a grimly knowing one. Distantly Kagome understood. Naraku had been in control of Kohaku. Naraku's death had released him from bondage just in time to save Sango.

Not soon enough to protect anyone else, though. Not soon enough to save Kikyou.

Kagura, as if sensing her thoughts, offered her no more than a faint shake of her head. Not everyone could be saved, she seemed to say. They could only be grateful for those who still remained.

Kagome watched as she turned away, watched as she drifted off back down the hall. Her head felt at once hollow and so full that it might burst. She wanted to get up, to go after Inuyasha, but she could not possibly leave Sango and Miroku's side now.

Kikyou was dead. The thought was like a punch to the gut.

Some part of her, some small part, had always hoped that someday they would be reconciled. She still could not wholly bring herself to believe that the other woman had meant her harm, but now any chance of ever knowing for certain had passed out of the world along with Kikyou.

And Inuyasha…kami, Inuyasha would be devastated. Even after all that had happened, he had done everything in his power to protect Kikyou. He had confined her to that residence in the hope of letting her live out the rest of her life out in peace, but even that had been denied the unfortunate woman.

It was too much. Sango's grief, Inuyasha's grief, her own grief, and Miroku clinging to the world by a thread. She was paralyzed with it, afraid to move lest she should shatter into so many unsalvageable pieces.

They had done it. The words echoed back to her, hollow and mocking. They had done it.

But perhaps it had all been for naught.

Kagome spent the remainder of that day and night at Sango and Miroku's side, unable to remove herself.

When Midoriko grew weary, she switched places with her and tended to Miroku. The houshi's pallor continued to improve, the sheen of sweat fading and some color slowly returning to his face, but there were still no signs of him waking. He had been unconscious for nearly all of the four days it had taken to ride from the Fujiwara residence back to Heian, Sango informed her quietly.

The saimyōshō's poison was incredibly potent, refusing to be purged fully from him despite hers and Midoriko's best efforts. He must have been prepared to die, Kagome thought as she observed his unconscious face. She glanced at Sango and the awful mixture of love and pain carved into every line on her dirt and tear stained face told her that she knew it, as well.

When Midoriko took her turn Kagome told Sango in hushed tones of Miroku's curse, even now reluctant to betray the confidence he had placed in her. Still, she knew it needed to be done. Miroku himself had revealed it to her at the risk of his life and Sango deserved to know the truth.

She retold her the story of his father's death, this time revealing the curse that youkai had inflicted upon Miyasu that had been his undoing. She told her of how he had barely made it back to the court in time to tell Miroku of it before passing and leaving the burden to him to carry. She told her of the years Miroku had spent roaming far and wide in search of that youkai, shouldering the burden of the curse alone for fear of dragging anyone else down with him.

Kagome also told Sango in broad terms of how she had come to discover the identity of the spider youkai they had all been seeking: Naraku. To avoid overwhelming her any more than she already was she told her only that they had managed at last to trap and kill him, the result of which had been the lifting of Miroku's curse and the freeing of Kohaku.

The only thing she withheld was Miroku's confession of his feelings for the noblewoman. Kagome wanted to believe, had to believe, that that was something he would tell Sango himself as soon as he was back with them.

Though Kagome apologized again and again for keeping the truth of his curse from her, Sango merely dismissed her with a shake of her head. Through the whole of the tale her expression had not changed, her eyes fixed unwaveringly on Miroku's face. Kagome could only imagine how difficult it must be for her to take all of it in, the whole of her world having been turned on its head in the matter of the last few days.

"When he wakes," Sango said at last. "I am not certain if I should pummel him or kiss him."

The unexpected words startled a laugh from Kagome. The faintest curve turned up the corners of Sango's lips.

"I think I know which Miroku-sama would prefer," Kagome said, squeezing her hand. "Though I cannot say that I would not understand either choice. Perhaps, though, allow him a little time to recover if you do decide on pummeling."

A dry laugh escaped Sango at that, though the faint mirth faded quickly from her features. She disentangled her hand from Kagome's, reaching out to push back an errant strand of hair from Miroku's face. Her fingers lingered against the skin of his cheek.

"I thank you for telling me," she said softly. "Though I confess that I wish that it had been him. I always suspected there was something, some reason behind all of the trips out of the court, but…why would he not tell me? I could have been there for him, could have helped him. Why did he not feel that he could trust me?"

"It was not a matter of trust," Kagome hedged. "It was a matter of fear. Naraku is…was an incredibly powerful youkai. I think Miroku-sama feared involving you would place you in Naraku's path. I am sure he can explain it all far better than I, though, should you delay the pummeling long enough to allow him when he wakes."

Sango frowned, sitting back on her heels. She shook her head, her lower lip trembling faintly.

"It is all such a mess," she breathed. "Miroku lying here, fighting for his life. The Fujiwara…kami, what happened to the Fujiwara. And Kohaku…Kohaku, he…"

She trailed off, unable to get the words out. Kagome reached out, placing a gentle hand on her back. Once they had managed to ensure that Miroku was in a somewhat less precarious place, Sango had been sure to let Kagome know that Shippou was safe and resting in another room of the residence. Aside from her recounting of events to Inuyasha, though, she had not spoken a word of Kohaku.

"Kami, Kagome," she said, a shaking hand lifting to cover her mouth. "I remembered your warning, I knew that he was not himself, but the sight of him…his eyes. There was nothing in his eyes as he came at me. Nothing. And his kusari-gama, it was covered…"

Sango hesitated, glancing around as if she feared being overheard. Midoriko still sat across from them, but she was deep in concentration as she continued to work against the shōki in Miroku's system.

"It was covered in blood," Sango continued, her voice dropping to scarcely above a whisper. "There was so much blood on him. He had…he had been slaughtering them, the ones trapped there by the fire. I could not believe…but you must not tell his Majesty and the Empress. Please, I fear if they learn what Kohaku has done…"

Kagome's eyes grew wide, several awful realizations dawning all at once. Sango did not know. She had been out of the court chasing after Kohaku when Kikyou had departed and word had not reached her of all that had occurred since.

Which meant that she also did not know that Kikyou had been there, somewhere among that fire and carnage. She did not know that Kohaku may have been the one to…

Kagome pressed a hand against her stomach, fighting against a sudden wave of nausea at the thought. But no, she reminded herself. It had not been Kohaku. He had been controlled, forced to do what he had done. But would Inuyasha ever be able to understand that?

"Kagome?"

Kagome blinked, her gaze refocusing on Sango.

"Of course," she said hurriedly. "I will not breathe a word of this to his Majesty. It is just…so much has happened since you have been away, Sango. I-I must tell you-"

A soft groan brought her up short. They both turned their gazes to Midoriko, a faint sheen of sweat on her brow as her eyes fluttered open. Her face was pale, the strain of her efforts clear on it.

"I believe I need a moment's rest," the elder miko said. "Kagome, do you think yourself equal to the task of tending him for a short time? If not, he should be stable for a time after our efforts-"

Kagome shook her head.

"No, no, I do not wish to leave him unattended," she said. "I am well enough."

She glanced at Sango, the look of gratitude on the taiji-ya's face momentarily lifting some of the weight from her chest. Word of Kikyou and rest could wait, she decided. Sango was already under far more than enough strain as it was. Surely all the rest could wait until Miroku had recovered.

"We can speak of this later," she said. "For now, let us focus our prayers and efforts on getting Miroku well enough that you might pummel him."

By the third time Kagome and Midoriko had switched places, Sango was nearly falling over in her exhaustion. As soon as Midoriko took her place, Kagome hurried over to the noblewoman's side. Sango blinked blearily up at her as she took her in her arms, steadying her.

"When was the last time you slept?" she murmured, though she was well aware that it had likely been at least the several days it had taken them to ride back to the court.

Sango mumbled something incoherent in response, clutching Miroku's hand more tightly as she attempted to sit up straight.

"Sango, you need to rest," Kagome pressed. "You are no good to Miroku-sama or anyone else if you collapse here. Please."

Sango shook her head, clinging stubbornly to Miroku's hand.

"I can't," she said, the words faintly slurred. "I can't leave him."

"You can and you will," Midoriko said, pinning her with a stern look from her place across the futon. "I require time and silence to continue my work. He is stable and will continue to be so if I am allowed to work. Go, take your rest, and when you return you can see the fruits of our labor for yourself."

Kagome shot her a grateful look and Midoriko offered her a small nod in return before her eyes slid closed, her focus returning to her work.

Sango's eyes slid slowly from Kagome to Midoriko and back again, some of the fight seeming to go out of her.

"He will be alright?" she said at last, her voice small.

"Midoriko will take good care of him," Kagome hastened to assure her. "Come, we will get you cleaned up and let you rest a bit so that you can greet him with a smile when he wakes."

Sango's gaze lingered on his face for several moments longer, roving over his unconscious features as if to commit them to memory. At last she offered a small nod, squeezing his hand tightly in both of hers.

"I will be back soon," she said softly. "Wait for me, or I swear I will never forgive you."

She attempted to rise, but swayed so badly once she was on her feet that Kagome had to hurry to steady her. Looping Sango's arm about her shoulders, she helped her down the hall, flagging down a servant on her way to request that a chamber be prepared for her to bathe in.

The servants were quick to attend, guiding them to a chamber deep within the residence and bringing a tub that they proceeded to fill. The water was not particularly warm as they had not had enough notice to heat it, but Sango scarcely flinched as she was lowered into it.

Between Kagome and the servants they made short work of cleaning her up, the water in the tub a murky gray by the time that they were finished. Sango was as pliant as a doll in their hands, exhaustion and fear having sapped the last of her strength.

Once she was washed and dried, Kagome guided her back to her chambers. She laid her down in her futon, tucking her in and smoothing her hair back from her face. Sango blinked owlishly up at her.

"I love him, you know," she murmured. "So much."

"I know," Kagome said, pushing the words out past the tightness in her throat. "Be sure to tell him once he wakes."

Sango nodded, her eyes slowly falling shut. Tucking the covers more tightly about her, Kagome stifled a sudden sob that threatened to escape her.

There was no time for it now. First she would get Miroku through this, and then they could deal with all the rest.

Drawing a deep breath, she forced herself to rise and exit the room. She almost yelped at the sight that greeted her on the other side of the shoji, stumbling back a step.

"I am in need of your…feelings thing that you do," Kagura said without preamble.

"Kami," Kagome gasped, clutching her chest as if to keep her heart from pounding its way free. "You could at least have called out to warn me you were there."

"You are the miko here," Kagura returned sharply. "You should have sensed me here waiting. I made no effort to conceal my presence."

"Pardon me if I find myself a bit distracted at the moment," Kagome returned sharply.

Kagura paused, seeming to consider this for a moment. After a beat she nodded.

"Understandable given the circumstances, I suppose," she said. "Now come."

She turned and started off down the hallway, fully expecting Kagome to follow. Kagome stared after her for a long moment, her mind churning as she attempted to catch up.

"I do not have time for this, Kagura-sama," she called after her. "Miroku-sama is still gravely injured. I need to return to his side and-"

"And what?" Kagura said, her dark brows arched challengingly as she turned back to face her. "Sit wringing your hands at his side as the O-Miko works? I looked in on them only moments ago. He is doing as well as can be expected of someone caught in one of Naraku's traps, but there is little you can offer him at the moment that Midoriko is not already providing. That Kohaku boy, on the other hand, could actually benefit from your attention, so come."

She turned and started back off down the hall. Kagome hesitated a moment longer before trailing after her, silently conceding that there was likely little she could do for Miroku until she had had a bit more time to recover her strength.

"What has happened to Kohaku?" she asked, hurrying to keep pace with the youkai woman. "Sango-sama said he was well. Well, not well, but…"

"Well?" Kagura echoed, shooting her a sharp look out of the corner of her eye. "The boy's had his body hijacked by one of the most sadistic bastards in existence for the kami only know how long. How in the seven hells could he possibly be well?"

Kagome blinked, momentarily taken aback by the pure vitriol in the woman's voice. Not that Kagura had ever been particularly mild in manner, but it was unusual for her to allow her anger to show so clearly.

"You've spoken to him?"

"Spoken would be something of an exaggeration," Kagura said, voice softening somewhat. "After hearing the Tachibana woman recount what had happened I was…curious, I suppose. I went in search of him and…"

She hesitated, a faint frown tugging at the corners of her lips. Kagome waited, watching her face closely.

"I may have been forced to serve Naraku, but my body and mind were always my own," she said lowly. "I could defy him if I wished, deny him if I were prepared to face the torture that would follow. That boy, though…he did not even allow him that. Truly, I do not know which of us was the worst off."

Kagome felt her chest tighten, understanding dawning. At the same moment Kagura stopped short, her crimson gaze trained on a spot just down the hallway.

A man stood just outside of a door, a guard to judge by his attire, speaking intently with a small red-haired child. Both turned at their approach, the child's bright green eyes growing round as twin full moons.

"Kagome!"

The miko dropped to her knees, her arms opening wide to welcome the boy before her mind had even fully processed what she was seeing. He ran to her, dove into her arms so hard it nearly knocked her over.

"Shippou, oh, Shippou," she crooned, crushing the boy so tightly to her chest that a part of her feared she might hurt him. But he only clung to her all the more tightly, burying his face in her shoulder.

"Kagome," he whimpered, wet warmth soaking her shoulder where his face was buried. "Kagome. I'm home. I made it home."

"You did," Kagome murmured, hot tears overflowing. "You did and I am so, so proud of you."

It was hard to know how long they clung there together, simply holding one another and crying. For all of the chaos swirling around them at that moment, Kagome would not have traded that moment of pure joy for anything in the world.

At last the none too discreet sound of a fan snapping open forced her back to the present. Kagura met Kagome's eyes and, though the fan shielded the lower half of her face, impatience was clear in the arch of her brows.

Shippou pulled back just far enough to peek up at the woman, sniffling loudly. Kagome stifled a grimace at the sight of him, the snot dribbling from his nose telling her clearly enough that the damp spot on her shoulder was likely more than just tears. She reached into the front of her robes, producing a handkerchief and attempting to wipe his face as he squirmed.

"You're back," Shippou said, addressing Kagura.

"I said I would be, did I not?" Kagura returned, sliding the fan closed and slipping it back into her sleeve. "I assume there have been no changes?"

Shippou frowned, his gaze falling to the floor. He shook his head.

"I tried talking to him some more," he said softly. "But he won't say anything back. He looks like he can't even hear me."

A faint frown tugged down the corners of Kagura's lips. Her gaze shifted to Kagome.

"Well, then I suppose it is good that we have a healer to look him over then," she said. "Tell her what you told me before."

Shippou bit his lip, tiny fangs protruding as he glanced up at her with red-rimmed eyes.

"When we found him…" he swallowed, a faint shiver passing through his small frame. "It was bad. It was really, really bad. I remembered you said it wasn't his fault, that something bad had happened to him, but Kohaku…he wasn't like my friend anymore. He tried to hurt Sango. And there was fire all over, and blood-"

He trailed off, his lower lip trembling as if he might dissolve into tears again at the memory. Kagome's heart clenched at the sight. That he should have had to witness something so awful at such a young age…She reached out to gather him to her, but he ducked just out of her reach.

"I'm alright," he said, though the hoarse quality of the words told her he was just barely holding back a sob. "Kohaku's the one who needs your help now. After he stopped trying to hurt Sango, it was like he woke up. He recognized us again, but he didn't know where he was or…or what he'd been doing. We brought him back with us and on the outside he looked like he was alright, but each day he got quieter and quieter. Now he won't talk at all, won't even look at us."

"The guard says he has not been touching his meals, either," Kagura put it, indicating the man with a tilt of her chin.

"Is he being confined?" Kagome asked, glancing at the guard.

"I believe 'watched' would be more accurate. I imagine Tachibana Sango was equally concerned with what he might do to himself as with what he might do to others. There's no scent of blood in the air around him. Well, no blood that belongs to him, anyway."

Kagome winced. It would have seemed strange if the boy were doing well after being in Naraku's thrall for the kami only knew how long, but it sounded as if he were far worse off than she would have imagined.

"I'm sorry," Shippou said. "I tried to talk to him on the ride back, tried to tell him what happened wasn't his fault, but the ride was so long and I was so tired I ended up falling asleep. I came to see him as soon as I woke up, but I don't think I'm helping him at all."

"You have done everything that you could for him, Shippou," Kagome said, meeting his eyes squarely. "Including spending months outside of the court searching for him. Kohaku-kun could not ask for a better friend, even if he is hurting too much to truly appreciate it right now. You should be proud of yourself, as proud as I am of you."

Shippou nodded, his expression lightening somewhat. Out of the corner of her eye Kagome saw Kagura's gaze slide from her to the kitsune, something inscrutable passing briefly over her features.

Rising, Kagome made her way over to the guard posted outside of Kohaku's room. Shippou hopped onto her shoulder, Kagura trailing just behind.

"Would it be alright if we went in to see him?"

"If you wish, O-Miko-sama," the guard replied readily. "Only, as I am sure you have been told already, Kohaku-sama is still…not quite himself, I suppose would be the best way to put it. I would not push him too hard, nor expect too much in the way of responses."

Kagome nodded.

"Of course," she said. "We will take care not to disturb him too much. Thank you."

The man nodded, stepping back to slide the shoji open and allow them entry.

The room was steeped in gloom, only one candle having been lit in the far corner of the room. It took Kagome's eyes a moment to adjust, the shoji sliding shut behind her, Shippou, and Kagura.

The huddled form in the darkest corner of the room was so still that she scarcely registered at it at first. It was only when Shippou and Kagura both turned their attention in that direction she realized that it was a person.

It was all that she could do to stifle a gasp at the sight of him. She had not been entirely sure what to expect, but it had certainly not been this blood stained shell of a boy.

Dark, hollow eyes stared unseeingly out of a gaunt face. His dark hair was matted back against his skull and beneath the tattered taiji-ya armor he still wore he appeared to be almost emaciated.

Nothing in his expression or posture indicated that he had registered them entering the room. He merely continued to stare blankly, his unblinking gaze fixed on some distant plane.

Kagome took a hesitant half-step forward, silently chastising herself for the shiver of fear that slid through her at the sight of him. The memory of his blank gaze as he pressed the blade of his kusari-gama to her throat inside of Mount Hakurei refused to leave her alone, but she forced herself to remember that that had not been the boy who sat before her now. Not truly.

"Kohaku-kun?" she called softly, moving until she could kneel at his side. "Kohaku-kun, can you hear me?"

The boy did not so much as blink as she brushed tentative fingers over his forearm.

"Was he injured at the…was he injured when you found him?" Kagome asked, unable to bring herself to think about where and how exactly they had found him.

Shippou crept closer until he stood just beside her. Out of the corner of her eye Kagome saw him shake his head slowly, brow furrowed as his gaze fixed on Kohaku's face.

"I don't think so," he said, his voice soft. "Sango was careful not to hurt him. He just kept getting quieter and quieter until…"

He trailed off, reaching out to place a small hand on Kohaku's foot. Still the boy remained unmoved.

"His memory," came Kagura's voice from behind them, unusually soft. "It has been happening to several in the Taira since that night, as well. They do not seem to remember him for some reason, but every day they recall more of their own actions and they struggle to understand them. After what that bastard forced him to do, is it so strange that he would withdraw rather than face himself?"

Kagome turned, eyeing Kagura where she still stood near the shoji door. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, an understanding in her hooded gaze as she looked at Kohaku that spoke of her own wounds.

Catching Kagome's gaze, her look sharpened.

"Save your pity for those who need it," she snapped. "Whatever the bastard might have forced me to do, I was neither young nor naive enough to be shocked by it. I might even have been inclined to do some of it myself if left to my own devices. The only thing I could not abide was having the freedom to choose to do it stolen from me."

Kagome said nothing, not entirely sure she believed her on this. She knew there was little sense in voicing this, though, so she turned her gaze back to Kohaku.

"So," Kagura said after a moment. "Can you heal him?"

Kagome frowned, feeling Shippou's gaze turn to her at this. She trailed her fingers lightly over the exposed skin of his neck, feeling the slow but steady thrum of his pulse. His skin was cool to the touch but not overly so, no sign of fever or chills.

"I am afraid there is no wound for me to heal," she said slowly. "Or at least no wound of the flesh. If it is as you say, Kagura-sama, the injury is one of the mind, and I am no more equipped to heal that than most. That will be a matter of time and care and Kohaku's own will."

She turned, opening her arms to Shippou as she watched distress at her words contort his small features. He leapt into them readily and she rose with him in her embrace. Turning back to Kagura, she met the woman's gaze.

"But," the youkai woman said, her brow furrowing even as she strained to keep her expression neutral. "I have seen you. You-you whirl about the court handing out your inane little acts of kindness and gentle words and most of the dullards are taken by it. Surely you can apply some version of that to the boy and he will come back to himself."

Kagome blinked at her, momentarily taken aback by the heavily backhanded compliment. She shook her head.

"I am…flattered, I think, at your confidence in me," she replied. "However, I do not think kind words will be enough in this instance. If anything, I may only serve as a reminder of yet another act that Kohaku-kun is afraid to face. I do think, however, that you and Shippou might be able to do him a world of good if you are willing."

Kagura's brows rose almost to meet her hairline, her lips twisting incredulously.

"Your sense of humor leaves something to be desired," she said. "If you suddenly think to make me a nursemaid to children. You are aware that I have slaughtered armies with a wave of my fan?"

She twisted her fan before her as if to demonstrate. Shippou gulped audibly, burrowing down further in Kagome's arms. Kagome frowned.

"I am well aware of how formidable you are, Kagura-sama," she said. "And I am certainly not asking that you play nursemaid to anyone. I do, however, think you more uniquely suited to and interested in helping Kohaku-kun than you give yourself credit for. You were not forced to check on him, after all, nor were you under any obligation to seek my aid to ensure his well being."

Kagura's expression soured further, her eyes sliding away from Kagome's and her fan shifting up to cover her mouth.

"Even I am capable of occasional bouts of pity," she murmured.

Kagome said nothing, her eyes never moving from the youkai woman's face. After several long moments Kagura slid her fan closed, some of the hardness draining from her expression.

"Fine," she bit out. "If I am the only capable person here, then so be it. But know that once the boy has been fixed, I will count you and the Tachibana woman both in my debt. And I never fail to pay or collect on my debts. Fox child, come, I will allow you to serve me if you do not prove to be a hindrance."

Shippou jumped, turning wide eyes on Kagome.

"I truly do think the two of you are exactly what Kohaku needs right now," Kagome murmured to him. "And Kagura-sama, for all of her bluster, is really…well, I do not think kind is the word, but…certainly not as frightening as she first appears. At least not to her allies, and you are certainly her ally in this."

Shippou glanced from her to Kagura and back again, the furrow on his brow only deepening. It was hard to offer much reassurance where Kagura was concerned, Kagome reflected, especially when she stood there glaring expectantly at the boy.

"It's your choice to stay or go," she offered. "But I can promise Kagura-sama will do you no harm, and that I will be just down the hallway tending to Miroku-sama should you need anything at all."

Shippou's tiny fangs worried the flesh of his lower lip as he considered this, clearly torn between his desire to help Kohaku and his nerves at the thought of being left alone with a self-professed slaughterer of armies. Finally he twisted in her arms to face Kagura, squaring his shoulders.

"If you're gonna help Kohaku, then I'll help you," he said, only the faintest quaver to the words. "But I'm not your servant and my name is Shippou."

Kagura blinked, brows lifting ever so slightly. An almost imperceptible quirk lifted one side of her lips.

"Very well then, Shippou," she said. "Fetch a servant and let them know that the boy requires a bath. If we are to be stuck in a room with him for the kami only know how long, better that he not reek of dirt and rot."

Shippou nodded. Wriggling in Kagome's arms until he faced her once more, he wrapped his arms around her neck in a quick embrace.

"You take care of Miroku and we'll get Kohaku better," he murmured. "Then we'll all be together again and we'll stay together for good, alright?"

With that he slipped free of her embrace, scampering from the room with renewed vigor. Kagome watched him go, a smile lifting the corners of her lips.

"He reminds me of you," Kagura said, eyeing the shoji Shippou had left open in his wake. "A bleeding heart with a backbone to match."

"He is mine, after all," Kagome replied. "And you should be careful, Kagura-sama, lest all these compliments lead me to think we are becoming friends."

Kagura scoffed, though the sound was belied by a brief upward twitch of her lips.

"Us? Friends?" she said. "Not if you begged me. If these are the kind of impositions you foist on me now, I can hardly imagine how burdensome it would be to call you a friend."

"You are doing Kohaku-kun a great kindness," Kagome said softly, glancing back at the boy's prone form. "One that none of us will soon forget."

"Save your thanks for when the thing is done," Kagura said, her gaze sliding away from Kagome's."But know that I make no promises. I can speak to him, tell him the fault was not his own, but in the end he will have to want to come back for any of it to mean anything. And the coming back will be painful. Some acts are too heinous for any mere words to provide absolution or solace. Perhaps the true kindness would be to let him fade quietly from this existence."

"You do not believe that," Kagome said. "Or you would not be here."

Kagura's gaze was hooded, her expression inscrutable as she considered Kohaku's broken form. She took several measured steps, stopping when she stood just before him. Slowly she knelt until their faces were level, her blood red gaze searching.

"These hands have done terrible things," she said lowly. "They have cut down friends and strangers alike, wrought harm that can never be undone. They have been the tool of a twisted bastard, but it is you who will ultimately have to live with them. You will have to learn to live alongside the blood and the ghosts and the pain, because these are your hands and your choices once more."

"But another choice would be simply to fade. To let your hands remain tools and to join the ghosts in their wailing against a man who can no longer hear it. You can choose to die here, but know that it will be a choice that you are making and that that choice will leave you forever as nothing more than the wretched, ill-fated puppet of that bastard Naraku."

It was quick, so quick that to blink would have been to miss it, but at the sound of Naraku's name Kohaku's eyes met Kagura's, a loathing in their depths that sent a chill skittering down Kagome's spine. Kagura smiled.

"Now that I can work with."

With the assurance that Kohaku was in capable hands, Kagome resumed her place at Miroku's side. She tried to hide her dismay at finding his condition largely unchanged, the shōki contained but largely undiminished. Midoriko tried to send her off, to insist that she take some time to rest or at least to see to other matters, but Kagome had already resolved that she would not be going anywhere until she was certain that Miroku would be alright.

And so the work began again.

They took it in turns, each woman pulling from the depths of their spiritual energy as they tried to force the shōki into a retreat. Several hours passed in this manner, the black depths of the night giving way bit by creeping bit to the feeble gray light of a dawning day. With it, however, came little change and less hope.

The shōki was like a weed discovered too late amongst the crop, every tendril pruned revealing two more sprouting in its wake. Its roots were deep and stubborn, reaching somewhere that even their combined efforts could not unearth.

"Something is amiss here," Midoriko said, pausing her efforts to wipe the sweat from her brow. "I have never seen shōki act like this before. It is as if it has taken hold somewhere in him, but I cannot see where."

Kagome bit her lip, her eyes fixed on Miroku's face as she considered this. Much of the strain had gone out of his features, but now there was an emptiness there that was almost equally as painful to see.

For all of the burdens that he carried, the Miroku she knew was a man of easy smiles and quick humor. He was always ready with a joke of a kind word, always prepared to listen and to offer what he could of himself even as he struggled silently beneath the weight of his curse.

But he had revealed the curse at last to the one person he had worked so desperately to keep it from. It was this act that told Kagome more clearly than anything else could that he had planned to die there at the Fujiwara residence, to give up his search for Naraku and his life in the hope of saving Sango's.

She blinked, her gaze shifting to his gloved hand. Miroku had meant to die there. He had used his curse to take in numerous saimyōshō, absorbing their poison and likely rendering himself unconscious fairly quickly. It was not until after that, Sango had said, that Kohaku had emerged and regained control of himself.

Naraku was the origin of Miroku's curse. Naraku was the one who had been controlling Kohaku. Naraku's death had freed them both, but Miroku likely had no idea that that curse had been lifted. He had been prepared to die.

"What if it is not just the shōki?" Kagome murmured, more to herself than to Midoriko.

"What if the shōki is being fed from within by an illness of spirit?"

"Illness of spirit?" Midoriko echoed.

"Miroku-sama was convinced that taking in the saimyōshō would be his final act," Kagome said slowly, each word solidifying her suspicions further. "He had revealed the one thing he worked so hard and for so much of his life to conceal. What if all of that is…feeding the shōki somehow?"

Midoriko's brow furrowed, her eyes sweeping over the length of houshi's prone form as she considered this.

"Yes," she said. "That would make sense. I have seen cases like it before even. If jaki of any kind is introduced to any already weakened spirit, it can often feed and grow in strength. If that is the case here, then we have merely been treating the symptom rather than the source of the problem. We would need-"

The crack of the shoji flung back against its wooden frame cut her short, both Kagome and Midoriko jumping at the sudden sound.

Framed by the now gaping entryway stood Sango, her dark hair a riotous cloud of tangles about her head and a thin sleep yukata hanging precariously from one shoulder. Two mortified serving women trailed just behind her, their pale faces an almost comical mixture of fear and exasperation.

"Is he alright?" Sango said, stumbling into the room without a thought for even the propriety of closing the shoji behind her.

The two servant women bowed low, one murmuring a stream of soft apologies as the other saw to the closing of the door.

"Our deepest apologies, O-Miko-sama. Sango-sama insisted that she see the houshi-sama before we could prepare her-"

"Nonsense," Sango snapped with a familiarity that could only be bred by long association. "I have already wasted far too much time sleeping. What does it matter what I look like if Miroku-"

She cut herself off, crashing gracelessly to her knees at the houshi's side. Taking his hand between her own, her eyes scanned his form in a quick appraisal. Some of the tension went out of her face as she saw the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each breath, but concern followed quick on the heels of it.

"He's not woken up yet?" she said softly, turning seeking eyes on Kagome.

Kagome suppressed a frown, not wanting her own concern to upset Sango further.

"Not yet," she replied. "We have the shōki contained. We are just having trouble purging it fully."

The silence that followed her words felt deafening. One of the servant women crept forward, righting the yukata on Sango's shoulder before placing a steadying hand on it.

"Perhaps, Sango-sama, we could finish dressing you and prepare you a meal before returning," ventured the other woman gently. "Surely you would feel a bit better after-"

But Sango was shaking her head, her jaw set stubbornly, before the woman could finish the sentence.

"Nothing is going to make me feel better about this save Miroku's full recovery," she snapped. "And while I appreciate your concern, I will not leave his side again until it is accomplished. Please, there must be something I can do. Anything, anything at all, only say it and I will see it done."

She turned pleading eyes on Midoriko. The elder miko met her look, her eyes moving slowly from Sango to Miroku to Kagome and back again.

"You and Miroku-sama have been close since childhood, have you not, Sango-sama?"

A faint flush crept across Sango's cheeks, but she nodded readily.

"Yes," she said. "He has been a true friend to me since we were children."

Midoriko nodded, her look growing thoughtful.

"I can make no promises," she said slowly, shaking her head. "The houshi-sama's case appears to be an unusual one, the likes of which I have only encountered a few times before. But if you are willing-"

"I am!" Sango said, and then more softly, flushing at her own overzealousness, "My apologies, O-Miko-sama. I am willing to do anything you require. Miroku-sama…he was willing to give his own life to save mine. I can do no less for him now."

A faint smile lifted the corners of Midoriko's lips. She nodded.

"That is the best I could hope to see from you for what I believe will be needed here. Kagome, I would request your aid in this, as well. Matters of the spirit are always complex, so I hope that the two of us together might navigate them more easily."

"Of course," Kagome said. "Anything you require, Midoriko-sama."

Midoriko offered her a nod and a small smile before turning her attention to the two serving women who now looked on warily from behind Sango.

"I would request that you see to it that we are not disturbed," she said. "This matter is an exceedingly delicate one and any disruptions might worsen Miroku-sama's condition."

Both women nodded, but their gazes went instinctively to Sango.

"Please," she said. "All will be well. See to it that we are not disturbed and prepare for Miroku-sama's return to us."

Both women bowed almost as one before rising, retreating silently from the room. Sango squared her shoulders, turning back to them in askance.

Midoriko reached both of her hands out over Miroku's prone form. Wordlessly Kagome and Sango each clasped one.

"Sango-sama, please take Miroku-sama's hand," Midoriko said, indicating his hand with a lift of her chin.

Obediently Sango grasped it, a flash of tenderness so deep crossing her expression that Kagome's chest tightened at the sight. Kagome reached out, placing her free hand on Sango's shoulder. Almost as one they both looked to Midoriko, expectant.

Whatever came next, this needed to work. It had to.

"Close your eyes," Midoriko said. "And focus on me. I will guide you in, and from there I will count on you to know best how to reach him."

No sooner had Kagome's eyes fallen closed then she felt the pull of Midoriko's power dragging her downward. She forced herself to relax, to allow herself to be led even as she added her power to Midoriko's own.

The sensation was akin to drowning in deep waters, all darkness and pressure as she was pulled rapidly down. She quickly realized, though, that she was not alone, her hand still clasped around Sango's shoulder as they descended. The look on the taiji-ya's face bolstered her, her features a study in determination as she angled herself down into the depths.

At last, though, they came to a stop, Sango's feet touching down on some indistinguishable surface. Her gaze swept the breadth of the darkness around them.

"Miroku?" she called. "Miroku? Can you hear me?"

There was no answer, only muffling, cloying darkness on all sides. Still Sango's expression remained undeterred and Kagome realized suddenly that she was no longer sleep-mussed and in a yukata, but was rather clad in her taiji-ya armor with hiraikotsu strapped firmly to her back.

Sango tugged at the strap of her weapon, nodding to herself before striding forward into the pressing darkness. Kagome floated along at her side, uncertain if she was aware of her presence but unwilling to speak up lest she should somehow break the taiji-ya's concentration.

With each step forward a strange heat seemed to build around them, sweat beginning to bead on Kagome's brow despite the same nondescript darkness that pressed in all around. Sango pressed through it, pressed into it, her dark eyes fixed on some distant point.

Abruptly flames ignited all around them, illuminating a horrific scene. In their terrible orange glare Kagome saw a residence burning, heard screams swallowed beneath the roar of the devouring conflagration. She bit back a yell, the flames licking at her as she pressed closer to Sango to escape them.

Sango spun around, gaze darting in search of an exit, but the flames were all around them. The din of the flames and the screams rose to a fever pitch, the sound almost deafening, and for a wild moment Kagome was certain that they would not escape this place.

Gritting her teeth, Sango spun and dove through a momentary gap in the flame, dragging Kagome along with her. The area they emerged into was not much better, but the buildings were at least far enough apart here that the heat of the fire was not as intense. The area might once have been an inner courtyard of the residence, but the flames were quickly reducing it like everything else to little more than a charred ruin.

But they were not alone here. Silhouetted against the flames was a crumpled figure, fists pressed into the dirt as he fought to keep from collapsing entirely.

"Miroku!"

The man's head snapped up at the sound of Sango's voice, wide eyes reflecting the writhing flames all around them. His face was a mask of soot and sweat, almost unrecognizable. He looked more shadow than man.

Still Sango rushed to his side, dropping to her knees beside him in the dirt. His wide eyes followed her every move. Slowly he shook his head, flinching back from her when she made to reach for him.

"No," he said. "No, no, no. You cannot be here. You escaped. You are safe. You cannot be here!"

With every word his voice rose until he was nearly shouting. Sango flinched back from him, from the dismay in his expression that was quickly shifting to rage.

"Miroku, please-"

"No!" he snapped. "No! She is safe! She is well! I have resigned myself to this circle of hell, you can have me, but you will not wear her face! I will not see her here!"

He gritted his teeth, heaving himself up as if to go, but there did not appear to be enough strength left in him to force himself up. He swore, one fist beating futilely into the dust.

Hesitantly Sango reached for him once more, this time managing to catch hold of his wrist. He kept his face turned determinedly away, the muscle in his jaw jumping with the force of his anger.

"Miroku, look at me, please," Sango said softly. "Where is it that you think you are?"

Miroku blinked, shifting as if he would face her, but in the brief silence the roaring of the flames and the desperate screams bled back in louder than ever. His face hardened once more.

"I thought I understood well enough the trials of the deepest hell," he muttered. "Truly I lacked imagination. I will endure my torment here, I have long known it would be the consequence of my failures, but please, if you are capable of any kind of mercy, do not wear her face. Do not take from me the one thing I managed to do right in my life by forcing me to see her here. I beg of you, do not wear her face."

Kagome nearly gasped as the realization clicked suddenly into place. Miroku thought himself dead. They could not heal him because the shōki was feeding off of his certainty that he had already passed, that he had died protecting Sango and had been dragged by his curse down into the depths of hell.

The devastation in Sango's face spoke to her own understanding, her wide eyes glassy with the sheen of tears welling in them. Slowly, carefully, she reached up, cupping his face in both of her hands and gently forcing it toward her.

"Look at me. Please, look at me."

Glittering tears clung to her dark lashes, streams of tears transformed to burning trails as they tracked down her cheeks. Her thumbs swiped across his cheeks, brushing the soot away and clearing small, pale streaks.

Some of the anguish drained slowly from Miroku's face as he met her eyes, his gaze searching.

"Listen to me and listen to me well, you absolute fool," Sango said, giving his head a slight shake. "This is me, I am her, and you are not dead. But I swear to you that if you allow yourself to die here I will follow you down into the deepest pits in hell and haunt you for the rest of your miserable afterlife."

Miroku's eyes widened, confusion and hope warring within their depths. Sango shook him once more, biting her lip against another wash of angry tears.

"You did it," she pressed on. "You saved me, saved all of us, with your stupid selflessness, but you were hurt badly in the process. We got you out of there, we rode for days to get you back to the court, and Kagome has been practically killing herself to try and heal you. So you must snap out of this now, do you understand me?"

Her hands trembled where they held his face, her entire frame shaking with the effort of holding back a sob. Miroku blinked, the last of the hardness going out of his expression. He lifted his hand as if to reach for her, but stopped himself short.

"Sango…"

"You must come back," she said, her voice breaking around the words. "You have to come back. If I were to lose you, I cannot…without you I can't-"

Whatever else she might have said was lost to a torrent of tears. Miroku reached out, pulling her in until she was crushed against him. Sango buried her face in his shoulder, her hands clutched in the front of his robes as if to keep from drowning.

"Sango," he murmured. "Oh, Sango, please do not waste tears on the likes of me."

"Idiot," Sango said, the word muffled against the fabric of his robes. "You are not a waste. You have never been a waste and I will fight anyone who dares to say otherwise, even you. You would have given your life to save mine, would have sacrificed even your mission to avenge your father. You are and have always been the kindest, strongest soul I have ever known."

Miroku frowned, his eyes falling closed. For a moment he pressed her to him more tightly, lips brushing the crown of her head, before he forced himself to press her back. Sango blinked up at him, sniffling and splotchy-faced. Miroku's thumb swiped across her cheek in a return of her earlier gesture, lingering there for several moments longer than necessary.

"You have seen it now," he said lowly, his hand falling away. "The curse."

Sango frowned, her gaze darting unconsciously to his gloved hand.

"Why did you hide it from me for so long?" she said softly. "I could have helped you, I could have-"

"That is exactly why I hid it," he said, shaking his head. "And why I would ask you to forget it now. The youkai that laid this curse on my family is a monster in the truest sense of the word. He is cunning and ruthless and if he were to harm you because you sought to aid me, I…I would sooner succumb to the curse. So I beg you, Sango, to heed me when I tell you to forget this, to live a life free of this curse."

"To live a life free of you?" she said quietly. "Is that what you think I would be without you? Free? Happy?"

Miroku was silent. The screams for help rose once again, the howling of the flames surging to muffle them. Sango drew herself up, sniffling loudly as if she could pull back in by sheer effort of will every tear that had escaped her.

"Miroku," she said, and even Kagome felt a ripple of foreboding slide through her at the word. "You listen to me, and you listen well. I am the eldest child of the headman of the Tachibana clan, of the four noble houses who have served the Tennō-sama faithfully for generations. I am a taiji-ya, trained from birth in the warrior arts and more than capable of felling hordes of youkai single-handedly."

"If ever I had wanted to be free of you, it would have taken no more than a word, a gesture even, and you would never have seen me again. But I choose you. I choose you because I remember the little boy who told me jokes and brought me flowers because he said he loved it when I smiled. I choose you because you sat at my side every day after my mother's passing as I cried, holding my hand and never once asking anything in return."

"I choose you because you put off your search for your father's killer to help me find Kohaku and because you hide gifts for servants when you see them struggling and for a thousand other reasons that I would gladly spend the rest of my life listing for you."

"I choose you because you are and have always been my best friend, and there is no happiness or freedom in abandoning a friend who is in need."

In the space of a blink the flames disappeared and the screams quieted. Kagome drew back, astonished to find herself suddenly in a grove of cherry blossoms in full bloom. Before her were a small boy and girl, the boy clutching a branch of the finest blossoms out before him in offering.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen," he said, and there were tears in his dark eyes.

And she was, her eyes as gentle as the warm spring breeze and her hands softer than the petals as they brushed his. The girl smiled, cradling the humble offering to her chest as if it were a priceless treasure.

"I love you."

Kagome struggled to sit up straight, every bone in her body as heavy as if it were made of stone. She blinked hard against the haze around her, the room sliding slowly back into focus.

Midoriko appeared similarly disoriented, her face pale and her gaze sliding slowly from Kagome's face to the roof above them. Her hands squeezed Kagome's and Sango's before releasing them, pressing down against the tatami mats to steady herself.

Sango. Sango and Miroku. Her friends. Kagome blinked hard, each thought clearing a bit more of the haze from her mind. She had been trying to help them, to help Sango to draw Miroku out from the shōki.

Her gaze slid up to the head of the futon and she froze at the sight that met her eyes.

Miroku's eyes were open, his gaze infinitely warm as it traced the lines of Sango's face. Sango's head rested on his chest, her eyes closed as if in the most peaceful of slumbers. Her chest rose and fell gently almost in time with Miroku's own, his hand carding gently through the tangles of her sleep mussed hair.

Miroku glanced up, his eyes meeting hers. He smiled languidly, bringing a finger to his lips.

"Shhh. Let us dream just a bit longer."

Slumping against the cool wood of the entryway, Kagome allowed herself a deep breath for the first time in what felt like a small eternity. Despite her powerful desire to wrap them both in her arms and force them to swear that they would never leave her sight again, she had forced herself to allow Miroku and Sango space after assuring herself that they were both well.

Midoriko's insistence had been another strong factor in her departure, the elder miko flushed as she nearly shoved her from the room. Kagome was uncertain how much or what she had seen during their efforts to heal the houshi, but it was apparently more than enough for her to insist that the two be given space to speak in private.

On her way out of the Tachibana residence she had also made sure to stop in once more to check on Kohaku, a niggling doubt about Kagura's tolerance for children refusing to leave her alone.

She was glad to find herself proven wrong. Kohaku was largely unchanged save that he was now clean and had been moved to a room where the shoji opened out onto a view of an inner courtyard. Out in the courtyard Shippou was demonstrating vociferously how many illusionary versions of himself he could now generate at one time, all of the mirrored versions speaking over one another in an absolute cacophony of sound.

Kagura sat beside Kohaku on the walkway that bordered the courtyard, one dark brow raised as she murmured something to the unresponsive boy at her side. At the sound of Kagome's entry into the room she had looked back over her shoulder, offering the miko a long-suffering roll of her eyes. Still she was quick to flick her hand in a dismissive gesture, waving Kagome off before returning her attention to Shippou and Kohaku.

Kagome was relieved to find herself unneeded there, slipping away silently before Shippou noticed her. Kagura appeared to have the situation in hand, and for all of their strange history together she felt certain that if anyone could help bring Kohaku back to himself it would be her.

Nearly sagging with fatigue, she had alerted her guard and made her slow way back to the Dairi. Now she braced herself against the frame of her door, staring longingly at the corner where her futon was currently folded and awaiting her.

It would be so easy to simply lay out her futon, to curl up in it and sleep and sleep and sleep. The sun had just begun to sink below the horizon as she had made her way back from the Tachibana residence. Surely it was dark out by now and no one would disturb her should she choose to simply rest.

No one save her own mind.

Kagome sighed, sliding down to wrap her arms around her knees. With the immediate danger to Miroku past there was finally room for other thoughts to creep in and in they did creep.

Kikyou was dead.

The thought was a shroud, blocking out all else and casting her into darkness.

She wanted to cry, to rail against the cruelty of it, but at the same time she was struck by how little right she had even to mourn the woman. She had known Kikyou's struggles better than many, had had a part in hurting her so badly that she fled the court, she had entertained doubts about the woman's innocence and hesitated time and again to reach out to her to see if the truth could be found. And now it was simply too late.

But even the gaping pit those thoughts opened in her was nothing, she knew, in comparison to what Inuyasha must be feeling.

She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, even the sting of the sensation paling in comparison to the wave of unadulterated misery that swept through her at the thought.

Perhaps their relationship had been a complicated one, but Inuyasha had loved Kikyou. He had tried to protect her at every turn, and now…

Kagome forced herself to take a deep breath, hoping it might quell some of the nausea churning in her stomach and creeping threateningly up into her throat.

She needed to go to him. She knew she needed to go to him, and yet the thought of going to him left her ill. Seeing his face, seeing for herself the pain and the love and the self-loathing that she knew would be there was an idea that was almost too much to bear.

But the alternative was to leave him alone to bear all of it, to leave him in the awful echoing chamber of his own guilt and regrets, and that was something she would never be able to do.

Taking another deep breath, Kagome forced herself to her feet.

Kagome had entertained any number of awful possibilities, but this certainly had not been one of them.

She stood at the entryway to Inuyasha's chambers, two guards before her and two of her guards at her back. One of the men before her offered her a sheepish shrug while the other avoided her gaze entirely.

"My deepest apologies, O-Miko-sama, but those are his Majesty's orders."

Kagome blinked, the words barely registering past her surprise. They were turning her away. He was turning her away.

Well, he was turning everyone away, according to his guard. He had scarcely emerged from his chambers since returning from the Tachibana residence and had given strict orders only hours ago that he was not to be disturbed by anyone under any circumstances until he said otherwise.

"I…are you certain? I just want to make sure that…"

She brought herself up short, realizing that she could hardly tell them that she wanted to make sure that Inuyasha was alright without elaborating on why she knew that he was not. The news of what had befallen the Fujiwara residence was likely not known to anyone in the court yet besides Sango's group, herself, and Inuyasha and she had no desire to be the one to reveal it.

"Nevermind," she said softly. "I apologize. I understand that you are only following his Majesty's orders. I…I will return in the morning to see if his Majesty is prepared to receive visitors then."

The two guards bowed, clearly grateful that she did not intend to press them further. Kagome spun on her heel, her mind whirling as she beat a hasty retreat back to her quarters.

She scarcely remembered to bid her guard good night before sliding the shoji to her room closed behind her. Pacing the length of her room, she fought to tamp down the panic rising in her chest.

Inuyasha must be worse off than even she had feared to hide himself away even from her. Perhaps he was angry with her, blaming her as she blamed herself for Kikyou's departure from the court. Or perhaps she was simply too much a reminder of the reason he had come to confine Kikyou to her ultimate demise in the Fujiwara residence.

Either way, she could not simply leave him alone. She had to at least see him, to let him know that she was there if he wished her to be. If he needed to yell, to focus all that pain somewhere, then so be it. Better that than to suffer all alone. And if she could not simply walk in to see him, there was another way available to her.

Quietly she slid open the shoji that led out into the garden behind her quarters. Light was scarce due to that evening's new moon, so she paused to grab and light a lantern before slipping out.

She made her way to the small gap in the wall between the two residences, hesitating once she had passed through it. Would he have gone to their place?

But, no. She could not imagine he was in any state of mind to seek solace there tonight. She turned, continuing on towards his chambers.

She had never entered through this side before so she was not entirely sure where to go, but surely if Inuyasha could get out then there must be a way for her to get in. Following the length of the wall, she held her lantern aloft and dragged the tips of her fingers along the wall in search of a way in.

At last she came to the far right edge of the wall, the faintest hint of a seam giving her pause. To anyone who did not know to look it would have looked as if the wall was entirely solid, but her fingers caught on a strange sensation that gave her pause. Lifting her lantern, she saw that there was the smallest of gaps between the corner beam and what appeared otherwise to be a solid wall.

Hooking her fingertips into the miniscule gap, Kagome nearly toppled over as the wall slipped open with unexpected ease. The opening was a small one, scarcely large enough for her to fit through when turned sideways, but still it was just enough for her to be able to slip into the room.

The darkness inside Inuyasha's chambers was even more severe than that of the night sky, Kagome's lantern the only source of light in the otherwise pitch black space. Setting the lantern down just inside the room, Kagome took a deep breath before levering herself up and into the room.

There was nothing to be seen within the faint glow of her lantern beyond what appeared to be the edge of an ornate silk screen. Kagome braced herself, forcing herself to her feet and taking a tentative step into the cloying darkness.

"Inuyasha?" she called, her heart rising into her throat with the word. "Inuyasha, it's me. I-I am sorry to force my way in here like this, but I needed to see-"

"Leave. You need to leave now."

The words, emanating from somewhere in the depths of the darkness, stopped her in her tracks. Kagome froze, eyes peering through the gloom, but there was not even a hint of Inuyasha's form to be seen. Goosebumps prickled along her skin, but she forced herself to be still.

"Inuyasha, please, I know…I know you are hurting. I only want to-"

"Leave. Now."

The words, barely more than a growl, were close enough this time that she felt them vibrating along every nerve. He remained just outside of the light of her lantern, but Kagome knew that if she were to take only a step forward she would find him there.

But she could not. She stood there as if rooted to the spot, lantern raised and trembling as she peered into the darkness. There was something in his voice, something just beneath the harshness of it, that she knew all too well. And so she stood, waiting.

"I won't. I can't. Not while I know that you are suffering."

The silence that followed was almost deafening in its totality.

"I…" the ragged sound, barely more than an exhalation, was still enough almost to make her jump. "I need you to go, Kagome. I don't want to see you right now."

His voice grew stronger at the end, the harshness returning, but it was too late. Kagome had heard it there, that awful, choked sound that she knew too well but had so seldom heard from him.

Stepping forward, she raised her lantern. The dark eyes that met hers were red-rimmed, glassy with suffering. Tell-tale tracks glittered on his cheeks in the faint light.

At the sight of her his eyes widened and almost before she could blink he had jerked back away from the light. Several thumps echoed through the room as he scrambled hurriedly back.

Kagome frowned, moving to pursue before a thought brought her up short. Dark eyes. Dark eyes. A trick of the light? But, no. She had seen Inuyasha's eyes in light and in darkness, knew them better than she knew her own even.

Without thought she lunged forward, her free hand groping blindly in the darkness. Her hand connected what felt like fabric and she took a fistful of it, stumbling forward.

She found herself almost nose to nose with him. Well, nose to chest, as he towered over her by a head. But the him was not him at all.

"T-Toga?"

Today's mini history lesson:

-Wakō: I believe I've defined this one previously, but it translates to pirates and these pirates had a very particular history of harrying Japan, Korea, and China during the Heian period.

-Saimyōshō: the hornet looking youkai employed by Naraku in the series. They contain a potent poison and were often used in the series to do small tasks for Naraku or particularly when he wanted to keep Miroku from using the curse in his hand.

-Shōki: I think this was also referred to as miasma in the series, but basically a particularly potent type of poison that was often employed by Naraku in the series.

That's all she wrote on for this one. I hope you all enjoyed it and as per always if you have any questions please feel free to send me a DM either here or on tumblr. If you did enjoy it, reviews always mean the world to me and I love hearing from you!

Also, if you happen to be looking for more ways to interact with or support me or this story, visit me on tumblr at eien-no-basho ! Any and all support there is always greatly appreciated!

I've already started on chapter 38, so fingers crossed that life gives me a little grace and time to get it done sooner rather than later. Please also know that I will be trying to respond to all of the lovely people who reached out in my absence, it might just take me a moment.

Until next time, I wish you all the best!