Recommended listening: Toad Town - Bowser's Inside Story
Chapter 1: The Real World sucks Balls!
Reimu upon arriving to the real world was stripped of her abilities in Gensokyo, going from an OP shrine maiden to a grumpy washed-up shrine maiden with no magical powers.
"Eat my fucking shorts, this sucks balls" Reimu spoke with a look of angry depression on her face as she bagged groceries for the masses… every day since she was plucked from her vine of innocence that was Gensokyo.
Reimu angrily observed the Walmart she worked at, it was the same as usual… crying babies, Influencers, teenagers, weeaboos and degenerate sports gamblers who pissed down all their savings on a silly sports game.
"Dumbshits… all of them, especially those motherfuckers climbing atop a stair of milk crates"
Reimu pointed at a group of dumb teens, probably the proof that the human race has gone to shit.
"These dumbasses are gonna end up on the Darwin awards, look at them go."
As Reimu spoke, one of the teens… a broccoli head with a shirt that said "FUCK BIDEN" fell down the crates and fractured his skull, nobody gave a shit except the other influencers who quickly recorded the incident and posted it on TikTok.
"MILK CRATE CHALLENGE GONE WRONG: WILL HE MAKE IT?!"
Reimu rolled her eyes, why was he wearing a "fuck Biden" shirt anyways? That old fuck croaked two decades ago alongside the Trump… too bad that Gertrude McDustfart was still in congress at the whopping age of 180.
Reimu always wondered how they could have such geriatrics in office, Gertrude was just a skeleton with eyes and a brain now… kept inside of a vacuum jar to protect her from pathogens caused by a lack of skin.
Once a group of robots cleaned up the scene of the now dead influencer, Reimu sighed and tapped her fingers… waiting for her shift at Walmart to end.
On the other side of the isle, one could see two different girls fighting and bickering to each other, Reimu thought they were dumb teens... probably suffering from brain rot from all that TikTok garbage and whatever those ridiculous youtube shows these kids watch nowadays... Reimu watched from afar, it was her only source of entertainment from working at Wallmart.
"Gosh, you're such a fucking idiot Houraisen" Mokou spat out bitterly, lighting up a candy cigarette that they sold to children nowadays... usually created by tobacco companies which were suddenly crying poor about the vapes... "Muh Money" they cried out.
"Nah, fuck you Mokou... you dumb piece of shit! I'm telling you that two plus two equals five!" Kaguya Houraisan argued back, she had not only been stripped of her status as a lunar princess back in the day, but she had also now lost Eiren and all of her bunnies which served her.
"Are you fucking stupid? I mean what did I expect, you're a NEET who does nothing but play all day... at least play something mainstream" Mokou sighed, exhausted by Kaguya's stupidity... she imagined that this fool was likely a casualty of the TikTok era which swept the nation.
"Excuse me, but I am the very best gamer on the planet... thank you very much" Kaguya sniffed, wearing a black GAMESTOP hoodie she bought from Amazon, "And that makes me the pinnacle of human society, you worm."
"Worm? Last time I checked, at least I have proper posture... look at your sitting posture, weak and adapted to play Video Games all day" Mokou giggles triumphantly.
"And you? at least I'm an elite gamer, you do nothing but get piss-ass drunk and vomit on the floor... dumbass" Kaguya snarls, getting up in Mokou's face.
Reimu watches this conversation with disdain, she had the utmost disgust for how far these twerps have fallen since the loss of Gensokyo years ago.
Mokou, once the great and powerful immortal who controlled the flames was now reduced to a drunken bar fighter who had been stripped of her immortality and now resided in a pathetic little apartment in Los Angeles, California.
Kaguya went from being a lunar princess who was immortal and wielded the powers of infinity and was immortal, was now brought down low to that of a filthy, dopamine addicted redditor who lived in the basement, she had long lost that royal elegance she once had.
So Reimu did what anyone would do and she looked down upon them, she looked down upon them for not only losing everything since leaving Gensokyo... but because they became such little shits who offered nothing to society beyond bickering, they still fought each other even after thousands of years... dumb shits.
"God... at least I didn't end up like them, or that old hag Yukari... I'd rather die than have to end up being an idiot like those two..." Reimu scoffed, for even the worms in the dirt scoffed upon those pathetic two... Reimu scorned them for wasting their lives and accomplishing nothing... and when their funds inevitably run out, those two will be broke and homeless.
It was a shame because Reimu didn't think they were that bad of people. but as soon as their entire selves were transferred to the real world, they became insecure, pathetic and lazy girls who reeked of entitlement... and Reimu hated what they had become ever since the end of Gensokyo.
Feeling pity upon seeing the two girls begin fighting each other to the death, Reimu sighed and approached them.
"Hey fuckers, cut that shit out... this isn't Gensokyo anymore, you two need to get jobs, quit fucking around with each other and generally just get the fuck out of this Walmart for now" Reimu sighed, ripping the angry girls apart for the time being and once they had left, Reimu swore under her breath.
"I swear, those fucking idiots are never gonna get along... there is a better chance of those dumb talking toilets to come alive one day and start an apocalypse..." With those words out of her system, Reimu trudges back to her job to bag more groceries.