Fireteam 'Auburn'
Western Old US
Michael Shevchenko was assigned to the Middle of Nowhere, surprisingly enough. In truth, he was somewhere around what used to be Colorado Springs, packing his gear into the Saddleback MRAP they'd gotten assigned to them. His, his sister's and his team's job was simple:Scout out the places around the bend for any useful technology, equipment or base locations. The Rockies wouldn't allow them to move to California, but, oh, well.
Bidding a quick goodbye to Centi and Liter, both of whom had come here to ensure that the buildings the UNSC had taken up residence in were reinforced and safe, the Marines boarded their MRAP and rolled forward with the support of a pair of newly-built Wombat drones and a platoon of MP Nikkes that had recently received upgrades. From the stereo system they brought aboard the MRAP, a quiet tune played as the vehicles rolled down the broken road and out of the main gate of the FOB, past the defense turrets and landmines and into the sprawling desert ahead.
The sun beat down on the hull of their transport as the group listened to tunes and laughed, sometimes joining in to sing with them. Valentina, Sev's sister, spoke to Sev, "And then Alice kicked down a Brute, put her rifle up to its face and shot it. Heh. Saved me from being instagibbed by its hammer," and she checked her rifle. A few laughs echoed from the MRAP's crew and people, while Sev smirked.
"Been a while since you told me any psychotic stories like that, sis. Glad to know you never changed, even while servin' with our beloved Corps," The man quipped, garnering a few more laughs. The Nikkes aboard also watched the two siblings bump fists, with Sev quipping, "She's the reason I joined. Went AWOL on us a while a go with the Spirit, so it was good to find her here again."
"Sarge Johnson mentioned knowing you, Shevchenko. Any particular reason?" Forge, who was the TL on this one, asked from the back seat, cradling his shotgun and checking his pistol. He looked ahead at another Marine from Sev's squad, one guy by the name of Anthony Baker, a corporal like Shevchenko, in fact, who was apparently still waiting for his girlfriend to show up.
Sev nodded and replied, "We've worked together from Miridem to the Ark, actually!" before jabbing a thumb back Anthony's way and stating, "Ant and I both went through that hell with him, Chief and the others. What being assigned to the Forward Unto Dawn post-Reach meant was literally just some of the last battles of the war..." then he turned the wheel left, veering onto a side road, the truck bouncing slightly on the uneven terrain and broken road.
"Sounds like you guys had some fun," Quipped a certain Product 23. Klara smiled as she leaned forward, tapping her helmet to make sure the HUD systems worked properly, then looked over to Ant and Sev and told them, "Hoping you get to see another genocidal war against mankind end quick, right?"
"Yeah. Hopefully, the Raptures don't get their shit together before we kick their asses," Sev quipped, smirking. A few more laughs echoed among the crew of the transport as they finally entered the mountain range. The Nikke manning the Machine Gun, a Product 12 called Ayesha, leaned down and looked at the rest of the staff on board, taking her helmet off and setting it aside for now.
A Product 09, one not to different from Syuen in size, checked her armor and shield, stating, "If we're going for the Cheyenne Mountain, I wanna see the famous 'Stargate' broom closet, I'm not gonna lie," before slamming home a flat magazine on top of her SMG. The others laughed as she folded her ballistic shield up, then said, "Oh, right, you folks might not know me. Name's Naomi."
"Nice to meet'cha, Naomi," The entire crew chorused almost like schoolkids. They all laughed, with the blonde, green-eyed and freckled short Nikke grinning.
Rolling deeper into the mountain range's outermost areas brought the group to some beautiful sights, honestly. The tall, rising snow-capped peaks of the Rocky Mountains were beautiful, especially with the light of the sun reflecting off of the snow. The Marines and Nikkes watched the place as they drove up a mountain-side road that was still semi-intact.
Seeing the beauty of nature, untainted by mankind's touch for so long, was once more a stunning thing. Especially for the Nikkes, several of them being new recruits that hadn't come up to the surface in their lives. Down below, the valleys of the Mountains twisted and turned with the rivers flowing through them and the natural beauty of the place, untouched yet by hostile units or by their battles. Still, the Front Line existed somewhere close by.
Naomi herself stared with muted awe at the sight. Even in the darkness of the world-ending war they'd faced, there was some beauty. Down below, wild horses pranced, mountain lions stalked, birds flew and chirped and life seemed to be going on as normal. She smiled at the sight, then sighed and leaned back into her seat. Val patted the girl on the shoulder and moved over toward the rear of the MRAP, looking out of the back to make sure they weren't being chased.
A while later, the group made it to their intended objective. Going off-road at one checkpoint, past a slew of destroyed cars, the team held onto the vehicle's inside and strapped in as they drove over bumps and rocks. The suspension of the MRAP held well, thankfully, but did have some hiccups, such as when they ran over an ancient, rusted fence and tore it down, causing the vehicle to jump slightly.
Sev said, "Sorry. Not exactly the nicest places to drive through, these old camps..."
"Where even are we?" Klara asked as she scooted forward and took the seat next to him, gripping her shotgun tightly. She checked their objective map and saw that, yes, they were reaching the supposed location of a cache of some kind. Old World intelligence was still reliable in regards to the locations of various weapons caches and systems that could either be stripped for parts or repurposed to work for the UEG.
Forge answered her, "Some sort of hidden bunker. Storage area according to what little intel we could get."
Descending deeper into the bunker area, the vehicle finally arrived at what seemed to be a massive tunnel dug into the face of the place, with an armored door separating it from the outside and vents poking out from the rock. As they exited the vehicle and formed a perimeter, the Shevchenko siblings approached one of the Vents, with Val putting a hand over the grating and murmuring, "Holy shit..."
"What? It hot?" Forge asked as he approached.
"No, sir. It's fuckin' cold..." She replied, pulling her hand back. Furrowing his brow, the Sergeant took his own gauntlet off and ran a hand over the vent, pausing in surprise as he felt a light chill course through his hand. He blinked, looked to Val and the others and put his gauntlet back on, then chopped his hand toward the door before going back to the Saddleback.
"This feels fucking weird..." Val murmured as she lead the way forward, rifle at the ready. The rock archway containing the metal door looked slightly ominous, like a giant maw ready to swallow'em whole. Thankfully, the door made it look like a prison instead of that. Still, the metal looked like it only had surface rust. Whatever they'd built the door and frame out of must've been pretty good stuff. Didn't stop the odd feeling, though.
"I know," Sev concurred from beside her, scanning the areas above for enemy units and watching through the Drone Feed in his HUD for hostiles. Honestly, this really felt like the perfect setup for a trap. A small valley area with only one way out and a massive cave/bunker or something dead ahead that probably would take a while to open? It was almost textbook.
"Hey, it can't be that bad," Naomi reassured the two, though she had her SMG up, too. She told them, "Maybe it's got some good gear that needed to be kept in cold storage inside," with a jovial tone. They approached the massive door and searched for the mechanism to open it:More specifically, the electronic lock. If they found that, it'd be smooth sailing to enter.
"Yeah, fair, but still..." Val shrugged.
"You never know what you're cracking open when you go into these Old World areas, Naomi," Klara told their newfound squadmate and friend as they advanced. She added, "Trust me, we'd know..." in a low voice as they moved forward, her mind set on finding something useful, too, but more worried about what said useful thing could entail. Whatever it was...
"Yeah, yeah..." Naomi waved it off, then looked back to the Redhead Product 12, stating, "You're being awful quiet, Ayesha."
"I don't think I've got anything I can add to this convo, Nae," The redhead shot back as she swept the area above with her MG. She turned to Naomi and added, "It's literally just a giant storage bunker. What I'm more shocked by is the cooling system still working this many years into the Post-Apocalypse," as a Wombat drone flew just at the corner of her peripheral vision. She sighed. At least they had reinforcements on top.
"Maybe maintenance nanomachines?" Naomi spoke hopefully, "Who knows, this could be a Missilis outpost from back before the war and it's got some of the better Pre-War tech in it, too," and she smirked, giddy. It was almost adorable, seeing someone built like a shortstack be this excited, even as she cradled an SMG with armor piercing rounds loaded in.
"You really wanna find something good, don't you?" Forge observed jokingly as he now rejoined the crew, surprising everyone. He hummed, then asked the girl, "Are all of you Product Niners this focused?" as he brought forward a tablet that had the codes to open the door. Of course, the coordinates of this cache had come with the specific codes for the place to open.
"Eh. We're tiny, so our curiosity and joy bubbles up to the surface faster than your average Jane Nikke," Naomi grinned ear-to-ear, causing a few snorts in her teammates. The short girl added, "Comes with having to be able to hide behind the ballistic shield we carry, I guess, heh," rather jovially. Yes, the smaller Product Nine line was basically just riot control and heavy forward armor.
As the group let the Sergeant get to work, they kept their eyes on both the road they'd come in on and on the skies. The Drones also provided assistance in that matter, maintaining a direct link with the gang through Single-Beam communication. Forge found a console off to the side and, though it was rusted, he found the ports to plug the tablet into, inserting the codes to open the place.
Soon, the massive metal door creaked as the locks creaked, steel grinding loudly against steel after decades of neglect. The inner locks audibly retracted, gears turning and alarms quietly singing their harmonious notes. The group moved away from the door as it fully unlocked, then began to turn to the left, into the Cave itself, via a pair of massive rails that supported the weight of the door and the wheels it utilized to move.
Flashlights turned on, their beams cutting into the darkness ahead as the group pushed through, with Forge scanning the side walls. As they pushed deeper in, Val said, "Surprisingly little Dust. Gonna go with what Naomi said and say it's probably some sorta nanomachines..." in a murmur. She looked over to the Sergeant as he snorted, then paused as she saw him approach a light switch.
When he flipped it, the breaker circuits kicked in. Above, a dozen lights came on in rows of four, revealing shelves built within the cave itself alongside what seemed to be the strange generators keeping the places running. Some cobwebs had settled here and there, but the place looked completely clean otherwise. The entire group blanked as they saw shelf upon shelf of wheels of some sort of material sat on the shelves, various shapes, colors and sizes of the stuff, too.
Plus boxes in cold storage... Michael stepped forward first, approaching one of the wheels, leaning forward and sniffing it, then blinking. He looked to Forge with furrowed brows, before showing him to wait for a second. Pulling out a knife, the man cut into one of the wheels, cutting a small tubular piece out and biting into it much to everyone's surprise. As he chewed, he blanked and said, "It's fucking cheese..."
"WHAT?!" The entire group snapped.
Ayesha approached that same wheel and cut herself a piece, then bit into it and gasped, covering her mouth, "Holy shit, it is. It's Brie cheese! It's the real fucking deal, too, not Splendamin!" before laughing aloud. The others stepped up to the various wheels, with Naomi immediately biting onto the wheel itself. The amazing flavor of the cheese that began to melt in her mouth caused her to let out various indescribable noises of joy.
Val blinked, then looked to Forge and said, "... We should radio this in, sir... Ark's gonna want to know..." before bursting into laughter.
Within the confines of the UEG Central Building. The Ark
Back at home, the UEG was hard at work maintaining the Ark's infrastructure after taking over, meaning Halsey herself was apparently supposed to be present for meetings, as most of the construction work fell upon the Missilis Nikkes assigned to such work. Rather obviously, that meant Halsey was supposed to be in this meeting with Andersen, Miranda and... Surprisingly enough, the little cub they'd found in the North.
'Keyes', as he'd been named by John in honor of the fallen Jacob, played with a ball of yarn on the table, letting out various noises that could be characterized as purring and meowing from any sane, uneducated person's stand-point. Halsey was neither sane, nor uneducated. She knew that was a Snow Leopard cub based simply on the design of his pelt and the fact the little guy was more so 'hunting' that ball of yarn.
She hummed and paused, watching Andersen and the others finally come in. With a smile and a handshake, she welcomed them to this temporary office, stating, "Apologies, but I have not been able to tidy up this place quite as well as I'd have hoped. However, this being a secondary office, you'd have to understand..." only to pause as her tablet pinged. She raised her hand to show them to wait.
Confusion played on the two's faces as they stared at Halsey. The woman, just as confused, narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows. She pushed her glasses onto the bridge of her nose, making sure she was reading the report properly, before humming and turning the tablet around. She handed it to Miranda while she tried to remember what exactly the Report was even talking about.
She watched Keyes trot up to her and picked him up, looking into his deep blue eyes, then holding him close. Miranda spoke, "Honestly, I still can't believe Chief named the little guy after dad. He has a sense of humor, I'll give him that much..." before looking over to see Andersen was confused as all hell about what he was reading. She read into the report sent by the Marines out on expedition as well and blanked.
Halsey spoke, "I'm honestly surprised the food items inside those caves are still intact..." before garnering looks of utter confusion from Andersen and Miranda. She raised a brow as she pet Keyes the Leopard's head and asked, "What? Neither of you have heard of the Cheese Caves the Old American Government made?"
The confusion only seemed to grow between the two officers. Halsey scoffed and asked, "Am I genuinely the sole person interested in such strange historical tidbits?" before hearing Keyes meow. She looked down at the cat and scritched its chin, before looking up at the other two and noting the sheer confusion from them. With a sigh, she stated, "I'll take that as a yes... Let's dispatch a team. It's a massive food source."
"Doctor, with all due respect, you're the only person crazy enough to tell me there's something like Cheese Caves out there and know I'll believe it," Miranda replied, arms crossed to her chest. Halsey smirked at that, then gently took her tablet back from the dumbfound Andersen and started writing a message to John and the others. Andersen, meanwhile, seemed to be questioning everything he knew about reality as a whole.
And honestly, he couldn't blame himself for it, either. This was turning to the absurd. From the revival of his newfound allies, to now finding out that the US Government had left Cheese Caves in storage for hundreds of years, it felt incredibly off. Alas, here he was, with the hand he was dealt, and he had to deal with it. Rubbing his forehead, he approved the deployment of troops to the area to assist the troops there in evacuating the... Cheese...
Seriously, what the hell had his life come to?
At The Outpost
Snow White had dropped by for a surprisingly quaint visit. After having searched through the place for possible upgrades to her firearm, Snow had decided it was about high-time to go see what the Commander and his posse were doing. Thus, entering the Command Post through the front door, something so unlike her, she walked up the stairs toward the Chief's room instead. Knocking on the door, she heard a simple "Come in!"
Then, when she propped open the door, she saw Chief was sat at his desk, writing away. She blinked and said, "Oh, this ain't the Commander's room... Sorry, Chief. Am I bothering you?" as she leaned against the door frame. The Spartan cocked his head toward her and shook it, continuing to write away on the Paperwork. She shrugged and walked in, then looked over to see what kind of work he was signing.
"Huh. Even more requisition forms?" She asked upon noting the forms written specifically by the newfound Nikke soldiers of the UNSC. More and more ammo, small trinkets to add onto themselves to differentiate themselves from each-other, maybe even food, though, much to Snow's inner disappointment, she saw none of the stuff there. She quipped, "Color me impressed people are asking for so much."
"Yeah," Chief replied, monosyllabic as usual. He appreciated Snow and the rest of Goddess for agreeing to reunite, especially after their Commander turned out to be the Chief Deputy taking care of them. The same Chief Deputy that apparently argued on sending Alyosha and his team of misfits here. He also, apparently, told the Commander that there was no 'law' here regarding fraternization. Genius way of telling the younger man he was free to date Rapi here. Yes, Chief was partially aware of normal mating rituals. He just wasn't good at them.
"We also heard Commander Harris has gone and decided to join the Spartans," Snow joked as she plopped herself down on the couch and started peering into her com tablet, checking her own e-mails and the likes. She looked up at the Chief and asked, "It an exclusive club, or for everyone?" as her mind raced. Honestly, the fact that a Commander was that eager to join the ranks and fight...? Harris always painted the strange picture of a good commander like Andersen had been to them. She just didn't expect him to so willingly grab a rifle.
"It's not as exclusive as you'd expect it to be, honestly," Chief shrugged, setting the stack of finished papers off to the side in its specific bin and pulling out the next form. He added, "At least not this variation of the IVs, or Project ARES as doctor Halsey has codenamed it. I think it even allows Nikkes some extra upgrades, though I might've misread the reports..."
"Fun," Snow offered, though her usual stoic expression finally broke out into a normal, small smile. She asked, "You don't mind me asking questions, do you?"
"No," Chief shook his head, causing her smile to grow a little wider. "If it helps build some extra cohesion between Goddess, Blue, the Counters and the rest of the standard UNSC Forces..." before realizing he psychologically lumped the Lucky Strikes into Blue Team. Which was, in all honesty, the Truth. Their Nikke comrades had become as much a part of their little group of comrades as anybody else they found to be good friends. A group that included Johnson.
"I don't think there was a better choice for taking charge of the goddamned Ark than you folks," She replied kindly, then sighed deeply and added, "Not at this point, anyhow," and who knew, she thought, maybe it'd finally get a certain Nikke to see the truth? That Humanity was still worth fighting for and that the Ark didn't need to be destroyed... Then again, if the Pinne in Chief's squad was the real deal, that would also go a long way to fixing things.
"Appreciate the vote of confidence, Snow White," The Spartan replied in kind, though the monotone tune he had in his voice was sort of surprising. Understandable, though, considering what he supposedly saw alongside his comrades. The whole genocidal war with the Covenant, plus the Flood encounters, since those were added to the Briefing. Still...
"You're about as talkative as me on a bad day, huh?" She observed.
"Heh," A familiar voice snorted, then she spoke, "I suppose it's only natural when you're a hardass..." Only for both Nikke and Man to pause as they turned to face her. With wide eyes, they watched the redheaded Cortana step in, blue eyes glimmering as her combat outfit hugged her frame tightly. She greeted, "Hey, John," while the Spartan simply stared, wide-eyed.
"Damn. You actually got a body for yourself, Cortana?" Snow White raised a brow, then smirked. She had a nagging feeling she knew why the AI had picked to get a body and it started with J, ended with N and had an 'oh' in-between once someone realized. Rapunzel would be having a field day with this, were she not away again, probably preaching to people.
The AI shrugged and replied calmly, "Was gonna happen."
"... I... Guess...?" Chief blanked. As Cortana stared at the man, she couldn't help but smile at the cutesy little reaction that was a Spartan the size of John with that face. Plus she could spot the tiniest blush on his cheeks, which got her a little hot under the covers, too, so to speak. She knew John and her were close, but she didn't expect that kind of reaction nigh-immediately.
"Heh. Well, that's-" Snow was about to say 'cute' until a message 'ping' interrupted her. She looked at Chief's tablet.
"... Huh," The Spartan furrowed his brows as Cortana joined them. He lifted the tablet and showed Cortana, stating, "Looks like an Away Team reported back. They found an Old World bunker full of..." He paused and re-read the passage again, just to make sure he wasn't losing his god-damned mind this time. No, he read it right, though he still couldn't believe it, uttering out a questioning, "Cheese?"
"Oh, yeah," Cortana snorted, then covered her mouth. She told them, "The US Cheese Caves. Doctor Halsey went on a tangent about them like a week before Reach fell..."
Chief let out a deep, annoyed sigh at the sheer insanity. He added, "That should tide over one part of the food requirements for the Ark... What do we..." He was about to ask 'what do we do with all that Cheese' before noting that the white-haired sniper girl of Goddess was drooling from both corners of her mouth, staring at the tablet with wide eyes. He asked her worriedly, "Snow, are you okay?"
"Did you say cheese?" Her voice cracked.
"Yes. It's here." Chief showed her the Coordinates on the map, before asking, "Why-" only to momentarily freeze as, in a blur of white, Snow disappeared from the room. Part of John swore he could see small flames and skid marks following her like a trail. He blinked rapidly, looked over the reports and sighed deeply. Ever weirder did the world of Nikke grow.
"Oh, that's gonna go well," Cortana snickered. She knew Snow was a gourmand, so this would be interesting...
... It wasn't long after, then, that the Counters, Lucky Strikes and Chief watched with a hint of muted awe as a Heavy Lift Pelican carried Snow in, the girl flat on her back with a satisfied expression on her face. Behind her, Pelicans and trucks came in, too, pallets containing what was assumed to be at least several hundred thousand pounds of cheese, an overwhelming amount of lactose-related foodstuffs of varied types.
Chief stared, deadpan, while Cortana was laughing her ass off. Rapi sighed and said, "Be ready for cheese-related food items on the menu of the Outpost mess halls for the next month..." as she watched the vehicles land. Andersen and the others were quietly losing the last few braincells of sanity they had over in the background, Anis was giggling like a psycho and Neon was just purely confused. The Luckies, namely Pinne, Delta and Signal, were...
Well, none of them knew how to express the sheer what-the-fuckery they were feeling right now...
At least there was cheese, they thought as they recalled that old James May video.
AN:Happy early April Fools! I really couldn't contain myself, so I decided to post this chapter right now, cuz... Well, heh. Impatience and finishing it ahead of schedule, I suppose.
It is canon to the main story and will be a 'gag' for the next couple chapters, but it'll basically be just that. A canon 'gag'. Hope I did get y'all to crack a smile or two at least.