Chapter 6 - I wish that I could wear hats

He walked through the oppressive city, sullied by blood and viscera, the imposing architecture looming overhead, a trap.

Corpses of the beasts filled the streets, felled by his own dull blade held in one hand, that mangled more than cut cleanly.

The wooden box in his pocket weighed heavy as it played its song through the barren land, still working but without its purpose.

"Please, will you look for my mom? I'm all alone… And scared."

Weak gait carried him through, stumbling and tripping on loose stone in his weariness. The unlit windows of the houses were like eyes, judging and scorning amongst this madness.

"Mummy… Dont leave me alone!"

He stopped, a familiar place bringing pain to his aching chest. No light from inside. No burning incense on the window. No life.

"Thank you, mister hunter. I love you, almost as much as mum and dad!"

The white ribbon soaked in red burned his hand, but he could not let go, nor avert his eyes, forced to gaze upon the trophy of his failure.

What was the use in his blade, if it didn't cut down enough enemies? What good was he, if he couldn't even save the innocent from the madness of this forsaken city.

What was his purpose, when nothing he did seemed to make a difference?

Unseeing eyes opened, a tear escaping from behind his eyelids. With a sigh, Nathan got up, a little girls sorrowful wails stuck in his ears.

Transfiguration was a hard class.

He never seemed to be able to grasp the spells easily, only being able to cast them after thoroughly studying the theory behind it all.

Though, the principle of the magic just seemed wrong to him somehow. It was probably because you could turn anything you wanted into whatever you needed. With no apparent limitations. No need to preserve mass, or the elements involved.

There was also this feeling, always present, regardless if he was successful in his casting or not. He felt like something was missing from the whole process, but had no clue what it was.

He would sometimes catch himself touching the object of the transfiguration with both of his hands and willing it to change. Or drawing weird shapes around it with his fingers. Nothing ever happened.

His musings were interrupted by the professor. "Attention all students please. I have an announcement to make!" Stopping his work, Nathan took the time to put his things away, seeing as it was the end of the class.

"The Yule Ball will be held this year, a dance event that has been resurrected along with the tournament." The professor paused to wait for the students to quiet down.

"This will be a chance for the students to, in a manner of speaking, let their hair down." Some girls squealed and some boys groaned, making the professor look at them with narrowed eyes.

"That does not mean, we will lower our standards, and behave as a bunch of babbling, bumbling, band of baboons." She continued her exposition, Nathan trying to hold back his laughter.

"The presence of all students of 4th year and above is mandatory. I will not, have anyone of house Gryffindor bersmich the Hogwarts name, by not attending the ball!"

That threw all his ideas out of the window. Class was dismissed, and Nathan walked out, thinking about this predicament.

He wanted to strangle whoever came up with the idea of this event. He already had a lot on his plate. I don't need more shit piled on top of it!

And on Christmas too? That was just cruel! No one wants to be forced to dance the waltz and try to make awkward conversations with their date on that day-

DATE! He almost physically jumped with the force of the thought. Oh this was going to suck!

He didn't even have any friends, just acquaintances. And only two of those! How the hell was he going to find a date?

His brain, that had gotten constant exercise these past weeks, was running at full throttle trying to think of a plan. The professor's speech ran in a loop on his mind as he tried to find a loophole. And find one he did.

She said nothing about needing a date! She only implied it!

His shoulders sagged in relief, and he started walking once more after stopping to think. People would probably laugh at him going without a date. But he was simply going to fade to the background of the event. No one would even notice he would be there.

He also didn't care.

A person rounded the corner in front of him, and he moved out of the way on pure reflex. He had learned not to lose himself in his thoughts since last time.

Funnily enough, the person he had almost bumped into was Luna. The girl noticed who he was, and proceeded to bow to him. "It is nice to see you once more, mr wanderer!"

He had honestly forgotten about this whole thing. It was easier to just roll with it, so he bowed back to her. "The pleasure is all mine, Ms Luna." Straightening back up, he saw the girl looking intently at him. "Is there something on my face?"

Her wide eyes seemed to look into his soul as she answered. "Oh, there just seems to be a lot of nargles around you today."

What the hell is a nargle? He hadn't run into the word during his studying. He tensed, anticipating the unnerving whispers that sometimes came to him with answers. None came.

Not wanting to show he didn't know what it was, he tried to play it cool. "Oh, the nargles. That's, ah, that's cool…" He was cringing even before he finished the sentence.

"You would sound smarter if you simply admit you don't understand something."

He couldn't help but snicker a little at the deadpan way she delivered the line. She just looked at him with confusion, her head tilted. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Nah. It's just, if I looked any smarter, I'd just be a door or something." Her face screwed in even more confusion, and Nathan couldn't help but laugh even more.

Calming down, he took the opportunity to ask the girl about these… things. "So, what are, um, nargeus?"

Luna seemed to perk up at the question, even bouncing a little on the tip of her feet. Her bare feet. What? "They're mischievous creatures. They like to steal things, and also to mess with people's minds!"

Her exuberance faded a little, as her eyes became downcast. "Not many people believe they exist." The words came out close to a whisper.

That did intrigue him a little. "Really? Why is that?"

"No one has ever seen the creatures."

And curiosity flew right out the window. So it's just some make believe thing? His mind immediately answered him with gravity defying trees.

Honestly, he couldn't really be skeptical when things like that were apparently possible. Even more so because he had no idea what was and wasn't possible with magic. Invisible creatures could one hundred percent exist as far as he was concerned.

I really need to do more research. Nathan looked at his watch, seeing lunch had just begun. Looking back at the girl, he really paid attention to her.

She had gone back to her bouncing, looking out a nearby window while humming to herself. She looked like she was in her own world, and content in it.

Why did she look a little sad to him though?

His lips moved on their own."Hey Luna, you busy right now?"

"Hum, not really. I was going to look for the things the nargles stole from me though."

He couldn't back out now. "Would you mind if I tagged along? I'd actually like to know more about these creatures."

The girl stopped her bouncing at his words, looking intently at him with no expression on her face.

Until a shy smile grew on her face, the dreamy look gone from her eyes. He realized this was the first real smile she had given him. "... I'd like that." Nathan offered her a slight smile in return.

So he followed her through the castle, hoping he made the right decision in wanting to talk to the clearly slightly insane girl.

Watching her skip in front of him as she talked, he couldn't fight the smile growing in his face. Maybe her insanity had its charm.

Nathan felt like the biggest piece of shit after spending some time with the girl.

His time with her had been very entertaining, to the point he had been actually laughing loudly through the halls.

Regardless if the creatures she talked about were real or not, she was still a very intelligent girl. Nathan didn't like getting into debates with people, mostly because you had to say something constructive.

It was a good thing then that most of what Luna said was complete nonsense. He still didn't know if she did it on purpose or not, but the mischievous glint in her eyes he sometimes caught was a little telling.

They ended up having an impromptu picnic outside, where they talked for a long time. It ended up being very informative. The topics ranged from the creatures she talked about, to their interests in class.

They even talked about how creepy the DADA professor was, which got her a ton of points in his book.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE, MS BROWN!"

Startled by the shout, Nathan jerked his leg up, banging his knee on the table. The wood was heavy enough that it didn't move, only making a dull sound.

"shit…" The word came out in a hiss, as his hands held his throbbing joint. He could see the strap-on eye of the professor turn in his direction, before he turned back to the board. Piece of shit probably thought this was funny.

Straightening in his seat, one of his hands continued massaging his knee. He couldn't help but glare at the professor. Just a little though.

This guy just loves fucking with people huh? Him and that potion bitch. He stopped his intense staring, relaxing back in his seat, his legs sprawling out beneath the table.

His mind wandered back to his time with Luna.

She had been peppy and upbeat during their whole talk. But there were some moments where she became a little withdrawn, where she would shrink into herself when there was a lull in the conversation. Or would look a little worried if he laughed too hard.

Things had shifted in perspective after observing the girl more. Her dreamy and airy personality now seemed more like some kind of defense. What he had passed as eccentricity with the shoeless act now appeared much more like she was being bullied.

Nathan opened his sketchbook, and started absentmindedly drawing while he thought.

Luna was eccentric and a little strange, but she didn't hurt anyone. The opposite in fact. Their short time together showed him how kind and gentle the girl seemed to be. The times he bumped into her came to mind, reminding him of how he always came out of the interaction a little lighter.

He turned the sketchbook sideways and kept drawing. How could he help the girl? He could go to the professors, but he didn't know the bullies. Luna probably did though.

That didnt mean she would tell him. He doubted he would do so if their positions were switched. They were nothing more than acquaintances.

His pen stopped, halting his train of thought along with it. His gaze traveled to the paper. The girl in question filled the entire space, seeming to pop out of the page as if it were alive.

Looking at the drawing of the cute girl with what he assumed was a nargle in her hand, his decision was made. He would do his best to be a good friend. Even if he had no clue how to do that.

Besides, he had actually enjoyed his time with her. This wouldn't be a sacrifice on his part.

"I want two parchments full of the uses of the aqua eructo spell for next class! Dismissed!"

Quickly jotting down the assignment, Nathan put his things away and followed the class out.

Knowing he would need a lot of time to finish the homework, he made the smart decision to go to the library after getting a quick meal, even if his appetite always vanished after this class.

The small bowl of a strange soup he picked for dinner was truly delicious, in spite of its appearance. He still only took some spoonfuls before getting up.

He took the time to get to the library to assess the homework he still had left. For the next day, only potions needed to be finished. He could spend some time working on the History essay, but he could not be bothered.

"Nathan, wait up!" He stopped short, his head raising from looking down into his bag. He hesitated a little, wondering if the person had been talking to him, before turning his head to look.

Granger was walking towards him, a smile on her face. "What's up, Granger?" He asked, confusion lacing his voice, as she came to a stop beside him.

"Granger?" The girl's face was contorted in confusion as she stopped in front of him. "You can call me Hermione!" She affirmed with a blooming smile. Nathan nodded, relieved with finally knowing the girl's full name.

"Are you going to the library? I thought you were going to the common room. But I saw you turn here instead." The words came fast out of her mouth. All he could do was nod, still a little confused.

"Great! Do you mind if we go together? I was heading there myself, to start the homework we were given today." He truly had to admire the girl. Both in her lung capacity and fast talking skill. Most of the time he had to think for some time before saying something to anyone.

"Nah, I don't mind." He answered her after some moments, and started walking once more, the girl beside him.

Hermione's head turned to him, her gaze making him a little uncomfortable. "So, what do you think about DADA class?"

He thought of his response, not wanting to sound dumb. I can't say the class sucks, she would probably rage at me!

"Uh, it's pretty cool, I guess?" Knowing that had been a pretty dumb answer, he tried to quickly add to what he said. "I mean, the spells are interesting, but I don't really vibe with the professor…"

Her face contorted into a cute expression of confusion. "Vibe? You mean you dont like him?" Not even noticing he had said that, Nathan simply nodded.

Instead of defending the professor, like he had been expecting, the girl shivered a little, a grimace occupying her face. "I don't like him either, he is a little unnerving." Her gaze went forwards and far away, like she was remembering something. "I still think he crossed a line during the first class!"

Goosebumps traveled down his arms and he rubbed them on instinct. The hardness on the girl's face and voice made the anxious feeling in his stomach even worse. He tried to put it all out of his mind as he opened the door to the library so they could step inside.

Nathan pulled the curtains shut, and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to claim him.

.

…

…..

Until he jumped into a sitting position, eyes snapping open. Shit! Do I have clothes for the ball!?

Roughly wrenching the curtains open, he jumped out of bed and started carelessly rummaging through his trunk.

Eventually he found a bundle of clothes neatly pressed into a corner of the trunk. White pants with a thin light purple line going down the front. There was also a strange white shirt that had some sort of purple skirt with golden embroidery. There was also a thick brown belt with a golden clasp.

But what took his attention was the robe. In shape it resembled the uniform he wore almost every day. But that was where the similarities ended.

Gold was woven through the cloth, following the rim of the hood, then flowing down to encircle the buttons, and continuing to the bottom, where it transformed into simple but elegant concentric ellipses. Purple was also present. Lining the inside of the coat, but also going down in lines.

It was a beautiful garment. Simple but elegant. It seemed to demand respect.

It also wasn't his.

Of course, he didn't remember ever buying this robe. Nor anyone ever giving it to him. But that wasn't the origin of the feeling.

He could feel, just by looking, that it belonged to someone else.

Someone you knew.

The whisper came and brought a chill that traveled slowly down his spine. A name, or part of one, started repeating in his mind, letter by letter. R… Ro…Rob… Nothing else would come.

"...Agghh." With a muffled sound of frustration, Nathan roughly shoved the clothes back into the trunk, and climbed back into bed.

A part of him focused on relaxing, wanting to fall asleep already. Knowing that the dreams that came every night, would not make today an exception.

But another part of him kept thinking, looking, for that name. That part could feel the importance of the person he couldn't remember.

Nathan fell asleep a long time later, when exhaustion finally claimed him. The name still missing from his memory.