Billy: ShOuJo mAnGa bRaIn
Anon: Fucking hell, this is what watching dubbed anime gets you
Billy: YUP
Anon: Honestly, I don't think it's even true that we're doing an impromptu chapter to interrupt our trailer chapters
Billy: BUT IT IS
Anon: Good Lord, anyways you probably know what this chapter's gonna be all about and since both my brother and our beta-reader have watched the dubbed Love is War... well... I'll just leave it at that
Billy: Hey, that one review recommending us to do a Kaguya-sama chapter was just in time that I happened to have watched Season 2, ok? So we'll divulge from our planned out chapters this once, after this (and unless there's to be another recommendation that's just right up our alley), it's back to the List
Anon: Yup, Bunny's really into whatever bullshit we're writing, so she finds ways to increase the list
Billy: WITH OUR HELP, it's not like we're free loading so we provided our own insight
Anon: Anywho, here's a RWBY AU inspired by Kaguya-sama: Love Is War
Disclaimer: Billy and Anon do not own RWBY. RWBY is a property of RoosterTeeth and Monty Oum (RIP). This AU chapter is inspired by Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, all rights to the manga and probably the anime go to the legendary Aka Akasaka and A-1 Pictures. SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE, TRUST ME IT'S GOOOOOD
[Badass Linebreak]
In the Theater, a certain pancake loving grenadier gasped.
"It's me next?!" Nora squealed.
Suddenly, the Theater's screen glowed blue and the doors to the backstage opened, revealing... someone in a bunny suit? No, not like the sexy bunny suit, like a literal white rabbit costume. What the fuck?
The bunny panted, grasping a piece of paper before a female voice muffled through the suit.
"There... has been an update!" The bunny said.
"Bunny?! What are you doing out here?" Billy asked in confusion.
"Just read the transcript and..." The bunny... who was called Bunny (Yeah we're real original with names BUT ANYWAY), said as she handed out the apparent transcript but trailed off as she noticed that there was a crowd.
"Uh... Hi?" Bunny stood straight and waved shyly.
All of a sudden, an orange and red blur sped past the audience in a flash, and towards Bunny!
"So cuuuuuteeee!" Oh dear, it's no surprise that Ruby, who likes all things cute and sweet, and Nora who, despite liking sloths is really just being Nora, zoomed towards the poor girl in the suit as aforementioned girl screamed, but definitely not in excitement.
It was then that Anon had to intervene, appearing in front of Bunny in a flash, he held out both his hands and caught both knuckleheads by their... uh, heads, stopping them immediately and let them seemingly run comically in the air until they didn't and were promptly dropped by the detective-themed Host.
"Please no running in the Theater." Anon chided, as Ren and Weiss both picked up their respective partners.
"Bun, if you can introduce yourself." He told his co-worker in a soft voice.
She nodded as she meekly went out and introduced herself, "H-hi, I'm Bunny, just Bunny. And I both manage the Twins' Theater when not in use and I'm the Boss' right hand man, or woman rather."
"What's with the Bunny costume?" Yang curiously asked.
"Oh this?" Bunny looked to her suit and shrugged, "I just like wearing it, it's softer than what most people would think. Also, I like bunnies."
She knows my pain. Jaune dramatically thought, as his chestplate hid the ever sign of his impending embarrassment.
"So what are you doing here?" Billy asked again.
"Oh right! Change of plans, Boss said that we'd divulge from the trailers for a little vignette showcase, here's the full rundown." Bunny gave the transcript to the bomb-headed Host.
Billy read it and after a while, he established a mental link with Anon.
"So the Boss wants us to load the Love Is War universe." Billy mentally said.
"In vignette form, correct?" Anon mentally asked.
"Yup, although that one Councillor who suggested it wants White Knight, we beg to differ by maybe bending the universe according to the Boss' plans in Operation: Canon Fleet." Billy explained.
"I see..." Anon thought about it for a while before he felt a grin form in his lips hidden by his coat.
"How about we load that version of the universe." Anon suggested.
"Oh? The one with..." Billy trailed off, biting back a grin of his own as he definitely knows what his brother is talking about.
Both twins chuckled in unison, unbeknownst to the both of them, the audience watched them with confused and weirded out looks.
"Uh... what's with them?" Blake asked Bunny.
"Knowing them and that synchronized laugh? They're cooking up something really good or really bad." Bunny sighed exasperatedly.
Billy cleared his throat, as he spoke, "ANYWHO, we would have you lot watch the next trailer but it seems that one of the members of the High Council has requested a universe that needs viewing post haste."
"But since we're on a tight schedule, we'll be showing merely a vignette version of at least 3 viewings, with a little intro." Anon added.
"Boss also said that we're showing some additional vignette worlds soon." Bunny chimed in.
"We will?" Billy asked as Bunny nodded.
"Cool, so who's featured in this one?" Sun asked.
Bunny pointed her thumb towards the screen, which showed... 6 emblems?!
"Well that's a surprise." Weiss commented with wide eyes as she saw her emblem along with Neptune, Jaune, Ren, Nora and Pyrrha's.
"Usually with these vignette worlds, it would feature multiple people." Anon explained as the lights around the Theater dimmed.
"Whether it was by chance or by destiny..." Jaune's voice spoke as the screen showed a view of the Mistrali countryside.
"Another Jaune one?" Ruby asked.
"Not exactly..." Billy said cryptically.
"Jaune's the narrator." Bunny bluntly said, earning a slumped look from Billy before she shrugged, "No sense beating around the bush."
"Whether it was by the will of the Gods, or by his own volition." Jaune continued, as the screen faded to show Haven Academy.
"Well that's not foreshadowing anything." Sun commented sarcastically as he saw his school.
"And what did Jaune mean by 'his'?" Neptune wondered, placing a hand on his chin.
"Neptune Vasilias, my great friend and the same friend who helped me find love."
"...Eh?" Neptune sounded, shock and confusion in his expression.
"Well you must've been a great friend if you helped him 'find love' or whatever." Sun reassured with an unsure smile, the blue-haired intellectual of Team SSSN simply nodded.
"WHAAAAT?!" The voices of Neptune's teammates yelled out in shock as the screen cuts to a view of Neptune's smiling face.
"Passed the seemingly difficult exchange student exams, and is on his way to becoming an exchange student of Beacon Academy." Jaune finished.
"EHHH?!" Neptune's teammates in the Theater mirrored their alternate selves.
"Exchange student exams? I never heard of such..." Ozpin said.
"Is perhaps an alternate factor in this universe?" Oobleck asked the Hosts.
"Yes, it is." Anon replied.
"EXPOSITION TIME!" Billy yelled out as Bunny took to the metaphorical stage and stepped on a raised platform.
Bunny cleared her throat before starting her explanation, "In this universe, Grimm are less of a threat, thus making the Huntsman career less of a Major career path. Since that is the case, the Major academies of the Four Kingdoms have extended their curriculum towards General Academics instead of prioritizing the Huntsman Course."
"And one of the changes in this alternate universe or AU, is the introduction of the Exchange Student Exam, which is held annually before the start of a new school year. It's basically this super hard exam and if you pass, you get to become a temporary student of the academy of your choice, what's more is that you can have the option to transfer to said academy for free." Anon added.
"And Mr. Vasilias passed this exam, then?" Winter muttered, impressed by the Haven student who Weiss had interest in.
"As expected of our resident nerd here!" Sun laughed after recovering from his shocked stupor, and proceeded to headlock and give his buddy a noogie.
"H-hey! It's intellectual- Ow!" Neptune protested.
"You actually passed..." Sun said, speechless before clutching his friend's foot.
"COME ON, DON'T LEAVE US MAN!" Sun begged, anime tears streaming down his face.
Needless to say, the monkey faunus did the same, he just crushed the poor guy in a hug.
"Sun, it's only gonna be a year. It's not like I'm planning on transfering." Neptune reassured.
Sun breathed a sigh of relief, earning a facepalm from his team and Blake.
"I'm not so sure about that." Jaune's voice spoke up again as he explained, "See ol' Neppy here is an intellectual, and that's no joke, this guy breezed through elementary and middle school with passing colors like he was breathing air!"
The screen changed to a montage of Neptune's accomplishments, as well as his grades throughout his past school years.
Jaws were dropped as Sun shrugged, "Not surprising."
"What do you mean?!" Jaune asked incredulously.
"I mean, I was his classmate since Elementary so it's not really much of a shock to me." Sun replied.
"He's like the Pyrrha of academics." Yang quipped, earning a blush of embarrassment from both the redhead and Neptune.
"And that's considering that out of the 300 students from all over Remnant who took the exams, only TWO. PERCENT. PASSED!" Jaune narrated with an epic voice at the end.
"Two..." Yang trailed, eyes wide.
"PERCENT?!" Ruby squeaked.
"Amazing..." Weiss said breathlessly.
"If we assume Mr. Vasilias were to be a part of the two percent, it's a testament to his intellect!" Oobleck said in amazement.
"I feel like a chump..." Jaune said, a storm cloud looming over his head as Pyrrha patted his back.
"Yeah, but anyways. You heard what Neptune said? Let's rewind." As Jaune finished, the viewing rewound.
"Aaaand stop, and play in slow motion."
"It's not like I'm planning on transferring." Neptune's statement repeated in slow motion.
Nora, Ruby, Yang and Sun giggled at the slow motion talking.
"I have reason to doubt this, why? Let's time skip a bit." Jaune said as the screen changed to a view of Beacon, more specifically the Student Council Room where we see Neptune sitting on a desk while a familiar white haired heiress sat on a couch to the side sipping tea.
"Ohhh, I see." Yang said, smirking at Weiss.
"What are you... Oh." Weiss frowned before her frown was replaced by a boogie eyed look, pink dusting her cheeks.
"Right." Sun nodded with a teasing grin.
"It took me a while to realize but yes, indeed." Scarlet agreed with a nod, the same grin on his face.
Sage opted for a smirk and nod.
"What are you guys on about?" Neptune asked his team with furrowed eyebrows before looking at the screen before back at his team's faces before two and two CLICKED AND...!
"Oh." Was all that Neptune said.
"See the girl in white? That is Weiss Schnee, Vice President of the Academy Student Council." The screen zoomed in on her face.
"She's the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company after her older sister, Winter, left for the military. Her family's Dust Company has over a thousand branches and subsidiaries worth billions of Lien." Jaune explained as the screen showed the many subsidiary companies all over Remnant.
"She is the epitome of well bred refinement, her brilliant mind is befitting of her superior lineage, as are the achievements in various fields like Music, Dancing and Fencing. That's who she is." Jaune continued as countless trophies and certificates flooded the screen.
Jaws dropped once again.
"As expected of my sister." Winter grinned in pride, earning a smile from the younger Schnee.
"Wait, didn't Fearless Narrator say that Weiss is the Vice President?" Nora asked.
"Oh yeah." Ruby snapped her fingers.
"If Ice Queen Jr is just a VP." Qrow started.
"Hey!"
"That would make blue hair over there..." Qrow finished with a grin.
"No way..." Neptune said in disbelief.
"Yes way..." Neptune's friends said with growing smiles.
"But enough about her, let's talk about the guy on the desk." The screen panned to Neptune.
"Beacon Academy's Student Council President, Neptune Vasilias." Jaune introduced with an epic voice.
Neptune fainted, simple as, which made his team go and recover him.
"T-too much..." Neptune mumbled, overwhelmed.
"The brilliant exchange student from Haven whose achievements we already talked about. In addition, his name tops the list of any and every exam he takes." Jaune explained as the screen showed Neptune's name in a list of students who passed an exam.
"Though he lacks Weiss' upbringing, his devotion to studying commands great respect. It's rare for an exchange student to be elected President, but in Neptune's case, this is a testament to his work ethic." Jaune finished.
"Wait, is that true Neptune?" Ruby asked.
"Yup, Mom works in a Fishing company while Dad's a Marine Biologist." Neptune replied.
"Greatness from humble beginnings, won't you agree sir?" Port asked the Beacon Headmaster.
"Indeed." Ozpin replied, a smile on his face.
"So, with an heiress and what many can describe as a hard working nerd, the rumor mill was a milling." Jaune said as the screen showed many faceless students whispering amongst each other.
"Oh wow, those two look so good together." Jaune whispered in a girly voice.
"So dignified, so smart!" Jaune mumbled in an over the top posh voice.
"I wonder if they're in a relationship." Jaune said in a weird voice.
"You should be a narrator, Jaune-Jaune!" Nora laughed along with some other students.
"I-I'll think on it." The blonde knight said embarrassingly.
"Yeah, that's those are the rumors alright." Jaune said, "But little do they know, they're not far off from the truth!" He added with the epic voice again.
The screen changed as two panels showed the eyes of Neptune and Weiss, suspiciously with hearts on them.
"For you see, to them Love is no game!" As Jaune said this, Neptune and Weiss pulled out pistols and aimed at each other.
"IT'S WAR!" Jaune shouted, "And whoever confesses first, shall be conquered!"
"Woah!" Sun jumped in surprise, as did the others.
"Don't worry, it's only metaphorical." Billy said.
"You mean...?" Ruby asked.
"Yes, this universe can be a bit over the top, if Jaune as the narrator wasn't enough." Anon explained.
"Love is War..." Ozpin mused, finding his own war with a certain witch not exactly far off from the phrase.
"Don't tell me this is gonna be some romantic comedy skit." Qrow groaned, taking a swig from his flask.
"Ah, lighten up Qrow, could be fun." Tai said, slapping the back of his brother-in-law, making him choke.
"That was the intro. Long, I know." Anon announced.
"YUP, TIME FOR THE FIRST VIGNETTE!" Billy said, clapping as the screen showed lettering.
"First Time."
The screen opened to Weiss looking at a magazine placed on a table, the cover showing Velvet in a literal bunny suit (the hot one) along with other articles.
"W-what am I...?!" Weiss yelled out with a blush.
"Keep watching." Billy said.
Jaune gulped, on one hand Velvet was his upperclassman, on the other hand.
B-bunnies... Jaune could feel his resolve breaking.
"Jaune, whatever you're thinking about, please perish it." Pyrrha said, with a smile that's too bright for the dork knight's liking.
"Y-yes ma'am." Jaune shakingly saluted.
"Where'd this come from?" Weiss asked.
"Oh, the Headmaster confiscated that magazine from a student here, said it didn't belong in a school so we should toss it." Neptune explained, working on paperwork.
"It's weird though." Neptune stopped writting as he was deep in thought, "Why didn't he just trash it himself?" He wondered.
Ozpin hid his choking as he made an excuse lest he suffer the wrath of Glynda Goodwitch, "I-I'm pretty sure my other self was..." He cleared his throat before he continued, "Busy! Yes, indeed." He was sweating, which didn't entirely help his case.
"I wonder why he thinks it doesn't belong here?" The screen cuts to a familiar ginger bomber sitting across from Weiss.
"Yay! The queen has arrived!" Nora bellowed, then gasped, "Am I a member of the Council too?!"
"Yup, you're the Student Council Secretary, though the Valkyrie family in this universe is an important family in both Valean and at some point in the past, Mistrali politics." Bunny explained.
"F-family?" Nora gasped again as Anon nodded with a grin, which the ginger returned with a teary one of her own.
"So... c-c-cool!" Nora sobbed in Ren's shoulder, in awe that her family was that important in the current viewing and happy that her other had a family.
"Tissue?" Billy handed out a box.
"Th-thanks..." Nora blowed through the tissue. "Ok, all better now!" Nora took a deep breath before she did a complete 180 and smiled brightly, stars in her eyes, "Woah! My family's awesome!"
"Same old Nora, right Ren?" Jaune told his brother from another mother.
"Yes." Ren beamed at his childhood friend, a little pink dusted his cheeks.
Nora took a glance at the magazine's pages before screaming, dropping the magazine as Weiss caught.
"I-I'm scarred!" Nora took a step back before correcting herself, "No, I mean I'm scared! For the future of our kingdom!" The ginger began to freak out.
"Must be something really scandalous for me to freak out like that." Nora shivered.
"Why is she freaking out?" Neptune furrowed his eyebrows before his eyes widened.
Are there naked chicks in that thing?! Neptune thought.
"And suddenly Neptune is very interested." Jaune narrated.
"I-I swear I'm not like that!" Neptune denied, waving his arms about in denial as Winter glared at him.
"You sure? I mean I pretty sure I saw you-" Before Sun could say more, Neptune covered his partner's mouth.
"Lies and slander!" Neptune yelled out.
"What's the fuss about?" Weiss opened the magazine and read through it.
"A survey asks people how old they were for their first time, and the results revealed, 34% percent did it in high school." Weiss read, seemingly unfazed.
"Pfft!" Most of the students, even Qrow, did a spit take.
"Thirty-four percent?!" Jaune screeched in disbelief.
"S-such indecency..!" Winter added with a blush.
Weiss tilted her head in confusion.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THERE'S NO WAY THAT MANY DEEDS CROSS THAT THRESHOLD!" Nora shook her head in denial and disbelief.
"34%!" Jaune narrated as 34% crossed the screen, "Over a third had tasted the forbidden fruit. Which means that in a class of thirty students, ten have already done it!"
"Not it!" Ruby raised her hand.
"Definitely not!" Yang raised hers.
Blake raised hers without a word, and the others raised their hands after.
All except Weiss, who still had her head tilted in confusion, "I don't get what you're all raising your hands for." She said, making her fellow students shocked.
She wasn't given the talk?! Was the general thought of the others.
Winter pinched the bridge of her nose, of course their insolent father wouldn't care to give Weiss The Talk and their mother is too drunk anyway.
"And statistically, so has one of the three in this room!" Jaune narrated with a cheery voice as the screen showed three panels of the three student council members, but Weiss remained all but oblivious.
Neptune woke up a few minutes prior to this, so when he heard it, his face paled. As did Nora's, while her partner glared at the screen at the implications.
"N-not exactly something to be cheerful about, other me!" Jaune yelled out.
"If that it's higher than it should be, because the only people who took the survey are the ones who like to read this stuff..." Nora reasoned, shaking left and right nervously.
"R-right, i-it's the sample selection bias. That number's way too high to be accurate!" Neptune agreed, sweat running down his face.
"Yeah! Whatever the nerd said, it has to be!" Nora was shaking in her seat.
"Intellectual, mind you. But yes! It's biased, it has to be!" Neptune added, teeth chattering.
"Oh for sure!" Nora agreed, facing Neptune as they laughed, attempting to move the subject along.
"Do you think so?" Weiss cut in, stopping the duo's hollow laughter in their tracks as they faced the heiress.
"34% seems accurate enough to me." Weiss calculated as she read the magazine.
"Eh?!/Eh?!" Both the Neptune and Nora in the audience and in the viewing yelled in bewilderment.
"Actually, it's rather low." Weiss corrected.
Low?! Most of the students and some of the adults thought.
"Okay, so I'm very positive the answer's no. But are you saying this..." Nora hesitated before continuing, "Because you're in that 34 percent-?"
"Yes, have been for some time." Weiss immediately responded with no hesitation, making Nora scream in shock.
"EH?!" Most of the students once again yelled in shock.
"W-Weiss?" Winter wondered, is her little sister not as innocent as she thought she is?
NO, it can't be! She wasn't given the talk, unless... Winter's eyes widened before she heard a throat be cleared, she turned to see Qrow.
"Maybe she might think of it as something else?" Qrow asked with an unimpressed look that would've ticked the Specialist off, but now that she thought about it...
Neptune mumbled on about some Math equations as his head seemed to shut down.
"It's a perfectly normal thing for normal high schoolers to partake in." Weiss told Neptune, "The two of you must not have been raised in very loving environments." She added.
The last statement hit both Council members like a bullet.
Nora would've been offended but she was too embarrassed to even retort, if her flushed face wasn't enough fucking evidence.
The same could be said for Neptune, who was dizzy for some reason.
As the two mumbled on, Weiss had a realization.
"There's a sense of urgency about them, and Weiss hasn't failed to notice." Jaune narrated.
"When people think they're falling behind socially, it motivates them to do something about it, even if it means risking their dignity. By confessing their love, for example." Jaune said the last part in a weird and fast voice which made some in the audience chuckle.
"Am I a late bloomer?!" Neptune asked himself in shock within Weiss' thoughts as he ran towards Weiss.
"Weiss! Date me, please!" He confessed within Weiss' mindscape.
Is this my chance? Weiss wondered with a grin.
"Oh, looks like someone found their objective for the day." Jaune quipped.
"Right, I forgot their little game of who's gonna confess their love first." Qrow groaned.
"Qrow, it's no game." Tai said with a grin as his daughter joined in.
"It's War!" The blonde duo shouted with big smiles.
"Yeah, yeah whatever." Qrow waved dismissively.
"..this is so stupid." Neptune muttered.
"What's wrong, President? Aren't you what most people would consider to be popular?" Weiss asked, seemingly innocent.
"SHE INSTIGATES." Jaune narrated with the voice again as Neptune was caught by surprise.
"Yeouch." Sun said, cringing at the choice of words as Neptune flinched.
"I-I didn't mean it!" Weiss apologized.
"I know, other you." Neptune slumped, his back patted by Sage.
""She instigates"." Ruby mimicked with a giggle.
"Dang, Hosts weren't kidding when they said I was a bit over the top." Jaune scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
"You ain't seen nothing yet, Mr. Arc." Bunny simply said.
"Yet you don't have a girlfriend." Weiss continued.
"SHE INSTIGATES MORE." Jaune narrated with an even more intense voice as Neptune sweated nervously.
"The words, Weiss-cream! They hurt so much!" Yang dramatically clutched her heart, as she fell only to be caught by Blake.
"I can take it!" Neptune said, clutching his heart as well as Weiss blushed profusely.
"Well..." Neptune paused, folding his hands together, "No, I don't have any kind of relationship with any girl, not right now." He said.
"Good save. By saying not right now, Neptune can imply he had a girlfriend at some point without outright lying about it." Jaune commented.
Neptune sighed in relief.
"Wait, so does that mean that he's lying or...?" Jaune asked, unsure.
"Of course, he's lying, you dolt." Weiss immediately cuts in as she crossed her arms, but inwardly she would be biting her lip.
At least, I hope he is. She thought before shaking her head.
"The word now has been abused in every language to dodge every manner of awkward question." Jaune continued, "Of course he's never had a girlfriend."
Weiss breathed a sigh of relief, something Yang caught on with a quirked eyebrow but chose to ignore, but at the same time, she chose to remember it.
"Though that's not for lack of offers, in fact he's had quite a few." Jaune narrated as Neptune opened his locker, only to find some pink gift boxes.
"But for reasons unknown to him, the only girls who seemed to be interested are as odd as he is." Neptune opened a heart shaped box, with a chocolate heart with some lettering that said "Happy Valentines Day" with a suspicious lock of hair in it.
"Hey! I'm not... odd." Neptune pouted, though weirded out by the hair within the chocolate.
"Who even puts a lock of hair in their chocolate?" Scarlet shivered.
"Odd people." Sage simply answered.
"If not, more so." Jaune added, as the blue-haired President opened the chocolate, revealing a lot of hair within.
"He may be weird, but he's not that weird. So he's never felt compelled to ask one of them out." Neptune then saw that the box was smoking before it exploded in a cloud of smoke in front of his face.
"Okay forget a single lock!" Scarlet gagged, as did Jaune and some others.
"You can say that again!" Jaune agreed, dry heaving into a can provided by Billy.
"Oh come on!" Neptune groaned.
Being this popular is both a blessing and a curse. Neptune depressingly thought.
"This is the quantity of interest, not the quality. And has become quite self-assured despite having zero experience in the love department." Jaune finished.
"He's not exactly wrong..." Neptune faceplanted into the ground.
These poor girls are driven mad by their lust for my brillance, should I feel guilty? Neptune thought.
"Yeah, the only thing sturdier than his chastity belt is his delusional confidence, as a result, he's become..." Jaune commented.
"Not right now." Neptune repeated.
"A VIRGIN MONSTER." Jaune announced with the voice.
"Hey, not cool dude." Neptune glared at the blonde.
"Not me!" Jaune raised his hands, "Plus, with the way my other said that your other was his great friend and 'helped him find love', it's seems to be somewhat of a retelling." He argued.
Blinking, Neptune considered it before narrowing his eyes at Jaune, his two fingers pointing at him then himself in an "I'm watching you" manner as his friends stiffled their laughter at Neptune's title.
"Oh? In that case, I'd be shocked if you haven't done it yet." Weiss retorted.
"But even monsters have a weakness." Jaune narrated as Neptune held back a flinch.
"And as we all know, being called a virgin is a virgin's kryptonite." Jaune continued.
My first instinct is to lie... Neptune mused.
But anyone with actual experience would see right through me, I'd be like a movie noob trying to pass himself off as a film buff to a real film buff! Suppose I tried.
A scenario played out, with Neptune saying, "Oh yeah, I do it all the time."
"Aren't you trying a bit too hard?" Weiss asked, "Seems to me like you're just to embarrassed to admit what a clueless virgin you are." She bit as Neptune flinched.
"You really are quite cute." Weiss said in her most smug face possible.
As the word 'virgin' came into play, Weiss immediately knew and blushed.
"Oh my..." She said, blushing like a cute fucking tomato.
Now she realizes?! Most of her friends thought.
She'd know for sure! Neptune thought as he played his card.
"Uh... I'm really not one to do it and tell." Neptune said.
"He resorted to a half-ass bluff." Jaune narrated.
"Why so secretive?" Weiss asked as she took a teacup in her hands.
"I'm well aware that you have a cute little sister, I bet you do it with her all the time, don't you?" Weiss said, unaware.
Neptune and Weiss choked on saliva.
Blake held the blood that was about to run down her nose in.
Pyrrha smiled her fake smile, despite the occasional twitch in her eye.
Ren... activated his semblance.
Ruby, who was shaking her head was comforted by her sister.
"Oh, that. You see..." Neptune paused, registering the words.
"Of course not! You crazy sicko!" Neptune denied.
"But you two are family." Weiss retorted, "It's natural, why I just did it with my new born nephew, I even captured it on video." She added with a blissful smile.
She what?! Once again, don't have to tell you who was thinking of this.
"Not real, not real!" Jaune rocked back and forth.
"Please stop!" Weiss and Winter, for the first time since... a while, said in unison.
Qrow simply chugged on his flask like there's no tomorrow while the other adults muted the whole viewing until it was over. Guess they can't have that type of shit in Detroit, huh?
"Intimacy isn't something you should fear regardless of what you've been told." Weiss said, "Why must modern society work these things?" She added as she sighed.
"Society's fine! It's you and your family that are warped!" Neptune retorted.
"Don't think you should be saying that." Sun whispered to Neptune, who was cowering in the presence of the Schnee sisters.
"What about your dog, Pesu, Valkyrie? You must do it with him all the time." The heiress asked.
"What?! Do you?!" Neptune asked.
"Please don't drag me and Pesu into this mess!" Nora yelled indignantly.
"Yeah! Not me and Pesu..." Nora rocked back and forth with her leader as she was comforted by Ren, who still had his semblance activated.
"It was then that our hero realized something..." Jaune narrated.
"Please, what is it?!" Neptune begged, shaking Jaune.
"Not.. meee...!" Jaune said as he was let go.
"Weiss." Neptune called in an even tone as the VP turned to him.
"Quick question for you, are you sure you know what the term "First Time" means?" Neptune asked.
This... restored some sanity within the younger audience.
Weiss simply sighed, "What do you take me for, President? Even ladies like me are knowledgable about such things."
"Get to it already!" Weiss gripped the armrests of her chair.
"It's your first kiss." Weiss simply answered.
...
...
It was then that most of the students did a unanimous flop.
"Ah shit, we broke them." Billy said as he paused the viewing, "Anon, could you undo the deafening spell on the adults please?" He asked his twin.
"Right, forgot we did that." Anon snapped his fingers and the deafening spell was undone.
"Is it over?" Ironwood asked the Hosts with a frown.
"Unfortunately not, but don't worry the spell will be reapplied once we restore the students and Specialist Schnee from their uh..." Bunny surveyed Jaune, who passed out like the others.
"Flop." Bunny said.
"IN the meantime, since this will take about an hour and a half to restore them, why not take a break?" Billy suggested.
"Indeed, in addition we're close to finding Mrs. Rose's location, just to let you know." Anon informed.
"Thank you, please do what you can." Tai sighed in relief that he can finally see his wife again.
Anon nodded as he clapped and the area behind the audience changed to show a bar along with some tables, a robot bartender and some robot waiters appeared as well.
"Ladies, gentlemen. If you would follow me." Anon said, directing them.
[SUDDEN BADASS CLIFFHANGER]
Billy: GOOD LORD, Bunny! 5,102 words?!
Anon: While we did fill in some of our shit, it's a bit well over our limit
Bunny: Oh hush, we just lost track
Billy: *sighs* Anyways, UNFORTUNATELY we can't exactly fit the whole three vignettes here- actually, can you STILL call them that?
Anon: They're not exactly brief anymore
Billy: Yes, so unfortunately we're gonna split this whole Kaguya chapter into 3 seprate ones, I know most of you are gonna wanna see something else (Or something, I dunno) but once we're done with the Kaguya stuff, we'll be going back to the trailers but we're gonna do one trailer which was about Nora and then intermission
Anon: Yes, we've decided to also inform you guys of what to expect in the next few chapters so that you won't second guess or I guess leave you in the dark
Bunny: Yup, so expect 3 chapters of Kaguya shit, the Nora Trailer right after and intermission with a Singing Universe, yes we're gonna be doing that in some intermissions
Anon: We thought about it for a while when Bunny put it on our To-Write List, that and Billy has a thing for 1D and was planning on doing a Musical Chapter so...
Billy: TMI! TMI! WOAH, hold your fucking horses
Anon: It's true and you know it, and you know what? It might be good but we'll see. So anyways, what are your thoughts on this chapter? As always, Read and Review
Billy: Favorite and Follow!
Bunny: Stay Tuned For The Next Chapter!
Anon: Stay Cool and Anonymous
Billy: AND STAY BOMBASTIC!