John
Well, it's been a day since Alex, Peter, and Rachel turned up. It was nice, having them over yesterday, and knowing Alex, I'm gonna be doing missions with them again at some point.
I had my usual phone call with Maddie, but it wasn't as long as it usually is since she's coming my way today. Which has left me a lot of time to do some thinking.
So, Butcher has a homicidal fixation on superheroes, huh? If I had to guess, he sees me as a genuine threat.
Good. He'll see just how much of a threat I am at some point, and I have to admit I'm looking forward to it. Especially considering he paid a visit to Maddie yesterday and threatened her.
We'll see just how threatening he is when I break every bone in his body.
I've had a lot of time to mull over the Butcher situation, but for the moment, my main concern is making sure Maddie is safe. I talked it over with Edgar and Alex before Alex left with Pete and Rach, and Edgar was just fine letting Maddie come to live me and handling the school stuff. He even got ahold of Alice(somehow).
So did I. Obviously, Floyd wasn't too happy with it, but all Alice had to do was put me on speaker phone. A reminder of a previously broken arm and the fact that I'm on the Seven was enough to get him to suck it up. Alice was fine with it- well, that's an understatement. The moment she found out the bare minimum she needed to know, she was actually threatening me if I didn't keep Maddie safe.
Alice has always been a bit confusing like that. She's hooked on dope right alongside Floyd, but she does her damdest to keep Maddie out of it. That's her redeeming trait, I guess. She truly does care for her children, and she tries her best for what it's worth.
Not that her best is really worth much, but credit where it's due.
Another thing that's been on my mind though… Stillwell. If she really covered up the reality of A-Train's fuck up, what else has she covered up? Suddenly, the incident in the alley makes a lot more sense. No mention of the worse aspects because Stillwell worked to suppress it.
Surprise, surprise, my already low opinion of her has plummeted completely. In fact, I told Edgar straight to his face in front of Alex that Stillwell is not to be around Maddie, and that any discussion Stillwell has to be a part of happens in front of Edgar.
Unfortunately, Alex himself had to step in. While he agreed with the condition regarding further discussions, we legally can't keep her away from Maddie without a restraining order, which requires just cause to even get. Not to mention it's her place of work, so legally, we have to wait until she tries something with Maddie while she's living here before anything can legally be done.
I'm not too happy with that, but I suppose I can deal with it. Maddie's a soft soul, but she's got an iron will and she's started standing up for herself lately. And with no contractual obligations to Vought in the slightest… well, Stillwell can suck it.
But it's not just Stillwell that gets me.
I haven't said anything yet, I've still been thinking it over. But I've begun to wonder just how much Vought is hiding. An anti-superhuman government organization made specifically for Vought? It's a lot more common than just an incident here and there if it's something like that.
You could say that a superhuman watch organization should be expected, and it is, believe me. But Alex and the militia are the one's responsible for that. There's a reason they're sanctioned by the U.N.
So for a second one to be authorized, focusing solely on Vought, is rather alarming. So far, I don't think we have anything to worry about, but I can't get over the way everyone acted.
Homelander… he was genuinely pissed that Alex has pretty much taken over the Seven, and considering the boy scout I'm used to… well, forgive me for being a bit surprised. It's obvious even he knows more than I do.
Than again… maybe there's something about him that I'm missing too. After all, Maeve keeps making warnings about Homelander every time he comes up, but she doesn't really elaborate.
Which is fair, but I'm trying to decipher at this point if I should know something already, or if people are intentionally trying to keep me in the dark. With Maeve… it's like it's a mix of both.
Regardless, it's getting rather annoying. Maeve, Homelander, A-Train, even Annie knows something I don't. Granted, Annie could've been thinking about a certain fishstick, but… I don't know. I feel like there's more to it.
Unfortunately, I'll have to figure all of that out later.
As promised, Peter and Rachel picked up Maddie sometime this morning, and it doesn't take long to get here when you're flying in a Blackbird, so I've just kind of sat up here. I've been waiting on them to show up, and so I've been sitting at the edge of the helipad just looking over the city.
Once again… New York sightseeing never fails to be amazing.
I've been up here for a while, so they should be showing up some time soon. However, I find myself caught off-guard when I hear the sound of the door opening on the roof, and I turn to see who it is on instinct.
"There you are." Maeve says as her familiar form steps through the door, a smile on her face as she shuts the door behind her and approaches. "I've been looking for you."
I offer a small grin and a slight chuckle at her words. "My bad. I've been up here waiting."
"Why?" Maeve asks, stopping next to me as she too gazes out at the city.
"I found out that Butcher paid Maddie a visit yesterday. I've mentioned her to you before, right?" I'm pretty damn positive that I have, but I'm not completely sure. Sure enough though, Maeve nods her head.
"She's the blonde with you in that video at the Expo, right?" Maeve asks, and I can't help but to chuckle as I nod my head, going back to looking out at the city. "Your best friend?"
"Yeah." I reply with a fond smile on my face. I find myself close to going on another off-topic rant, but I shake my head and get back on topic as my expression turns a bit more serious. "Butcher was looking for weaknesses against me, and when he left, he told Maddie she was lucky he didn't smash her skull in on the coffee table."
"He threatened a teenager?" Maeve looks surprised at that, a puff of air escaping her lips as she shakes her head. "And she's not even a supe, is she?"
"No." I shake my head with a heavy sigh. "Considering Butcher knows where she is, I talked to Edgar and her parents. She's coming up here to live with me for a while until the mess is sorted out."
Maeve is silent for a moment at my words, and I just keep looking out at the city. But when she finally speaks… it's not exactly something I'm happy to hear.
"I'm not sure that's the best idea." She says, causing me to look up at her bafflement. She let's a sigh escape her as she moves to sit down next to me, and I just stare as I wait for her to continue. "It's not as safe here as you think."
"So long as she's with me, she'll be safe." And I believe that whole heartedly. Hell, even Maddie herself knows that.
Maeve… not so much.
"And when she's not with you?" Maeve retorts, turning to me with a raised eyebrow. "What about then?"
"What have I got to worry about?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, but Maeve just shakes her head, turning away from me.
"I've been trying to tell you, it's not as nice here as you think." She says with a sigh, refusing to look at me as she speaks. "You heard that guy yesterday, he's got plenty of former Vought superheroes locked up for a reason."
"Only concern in this building is Stillwell." I say with a shrug, turning back out to look at the city myself. "And maybe A-Train, but I can deal with him."
"And Homelander?"
I think that's when I'm finally fed up.
"Alright, what's the fucking deal him?" I ask, looking back at her with an expression of irritation. "You've been giving me warnings about him, but you won't tell me anything I need to worry about." I make my frustration perfectly clear as I shake my head and turn back to the city. "Everyone knows something I don't, and even with what I can put together, it isn't enough."
"Look, I'm not saying anything, alright?" Maeve says with her own frustrated sigh. "Just trust me, okay? It's not any safer for her here than it is at her home."
"I think she'd like to judge that for herself." is my short reply. "And if you can't give me anymore than Homelander as reason without any explanation, then nothing's changing."
"Just-" Maeve cuts herself off with a frustrated sigh, bringing a hand to her head as she takes a moment to take in her words. "Look, you want honesty? I never wanted you here because this place will break you down and spit you out."
"I've been through more than you think." I reply with a raised eyebrow, but she shakes her head in response.
"No you haven't. Not like this." Of course, Maeve doesn't really know all the facts, but I still end up biting my lip in an attempt to keep myself from snapping. As any of my loved ones could tell you at this point, I've been through plenty worse than whatever she thinks.
Having your chest ripped open for three weeks straight doesn't exactly sound like something that can be beat.
"We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one."
"Well you're one thing." Maeve says, turning back to me with an expression of restrained anger, her muscles in her face tight as she speaks. "But if something happens to that girl while she's here, you're responsible."
"Again, what's gonna-"
Our short argument is interrupted quite quickly, luckily, by the sound of a quickly approaching jet. The moment the sound enters my ears, I start jerking my head around in an attempt to find the source.
It doesn't take long for me to find it.
Cutting through air at a quick rate is a familiar jet. An SR-71 Blackbird. At first glance, the only thing unusual about it is that it's painted red. But having been on the inside of the damn thing, I can tell you right now that it's more than it looks.
You ever seen X-Men? Because if you have, you already have an idea of what the interior looks like. But it's not some futuristic thing either. It's as fast as it should be, it's just been modified to act as a quick method of transport. Well, and it's got V-TOL capabilities.
Considering the red color and the fact that it's a Blackbird, we've all taken to calling it the not-so-original name of Red Hawk.
The jet slows to a hover quite quickly above the helipad as me and Maeve stand up, backing out of the way so that it can land without any trouble.
"Is that a Blackbird?!" Maeve asks, having to shout over the sound of the jet's engines as she watches it in shock. I can't help the smile on my face as I nod.
"Yeah!" I answer with a laugh as the jet lands upon the helipad smoothly, facing away from us as the engine goes silent and all activity from the jet disappears.
A few seconds later, a bay door at the back opens up, and I see Peter waving at me from within as the doors open.
"Is that a big dumb brute I see?" He jokes, causing me to shake my head with a chuckle as I begin to approach the jet.
"Yes, Colossus." I return the joke with one of my own as I walk up the ramp, Maeve following behind me as I come to a stop in front of him. "I appreciate this, man."
"No problem, I understand." Peter assures, waving off my words with a smile. "It's safer with you then it would ever be at her home. Besides, she's gonna have a bit of peace here anyway." His smile turns cheeky as he raises an eyebrow. "Just don't have too much fun."
"Fuck you, man." I reply with a playful eye roll as I move past him, turning forward as I see Maddie still standing in the… aisle, I guess.
I hear Peter greet Maeve behind me, but I pay no mind to it, instead watching Maddie with an amused smile. She's got a few different cases of bags and luggage, and I'm watching her struggle to get one that looks like it's stuck in the seat.
"Come. On. You. FUCKER!" I can see she's getting aggravated, and I can't help the chuckle that escapes me as I move closer to her.
"I don't think it's coming out like that." I comment, startling her as she snaps towards me with a wide-eyed gaze. Once she sees it's me, she visibly relaxes, looking almost sheepish as she brushes some hair behind her ear.
"Sorry…" She apologizes, causing me to chuckle as I move past her and grip what I can now see is a rolling case, easily lifting it up out from where it's stuck before setting it on the ground in front of her. "Thanks."
"No problem." I wave it off as I reach over and grab another couple of cases, stacking them atop each other before holding them in one hand as I turn to Maddie. "Let's just get this stuff out on the helipad first."
"And let it all blow away when Peter takes off?" Maddie questions with a raised eyebrow, causing me to shake my head in amusement.
"We'll have it inside before-"
"How much is left?" I hear Maeve ask from behind me, causing me to turn to face her. Despite our earlier argument, it's clear that she's not trying to be overly hostile or anything. I just wish I knew what has her so worried.
"Looks like a few bags and another couple of cases." I say as I turn back towards Maddie's luggage, before grinning. "Think you packed enough?" I ask as I turn to the blonde.
However, I find that she wasn't paying attention to my words. Instead, she's staring at Maeve with a shellshocked gaze, and I can't help the snicker that escapes me at the look on her face.
"You might want to pick your jaw up off the floor there, kiddo." Maeve comments with a grin, causing Maddie's face to flush red with embarrassment as she stammers in an attempt to regain her composure.
"S-Sorry." She apologizes, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment as she looks at Maeve. "Just… big fan."
"It's fine." Maeve waves it off with a small grin, before turning to me. "Here, I'll take those. Hand me a few more and then you can get the rest."
"Alright." I pass the cases in my hand to Maeve, and she takes them with ease as I turn back towards the seat and grab a few bags. Maeve takes them from my hand before I even get a chance to look at her, and I grab what's left of Maddie's belongings as I hear Maeve walking away.
As I pick up what's left, I feel a rather hard punch hit me in the ribs, before Maddie's hissing in pain. I stand up and turn to her just in time to see her rapidly waving her hand.
"What the hell did you expect?" I can't help but to ask with a chuckle, raising an eyebrow.
Maddie immediately turns to me with a red-faced glare. "You didn't tell me Maeve was gonna be helping!" She snaps as she massages her aching wrist.
"What?" I ask with a shrug, feigning ignorance with a shit-eating grin on my face. "I don't control her, I'm not her father."
"While it's on my mind, though," Peter suddenly speaks up, causing us both to turn towards him as Maeve makes her way back up the ramp after unloading what she had of Maddie's stuff inside the door to the roof… I don't know why I didn't think of that. Peter turns to Maeve before speaking once more. "Alex has an assignment for us."
"Us?" Maeve is clearly taken aback by Peter's words, her eyes widening as she actually takes a step back. "Are you serious?"
"I hope you didn't have any plans today." Peter replies with a shrug, an apologetic smile on his face. "We're heading back to base to get briefed, and then we head out with Rachel to Alaska." He explained.
Maeve continues to stare at Peter for a moment, before slowly turning to me.
"Is he serious?"
I can only chuckle as I begin moving out of the jet, nodding with a glance as I walk past her. "Yup. Good luck."
Maeve continues to stare for a moment while I exit the jet, Maddie following behind me and stopping at the bottom of the ramp as I continue walking towards the door. It's easy enough open the door by pushing the handle with my elbow, and once it's open, I just fling it open before going down the steps and setting everything down.
When I come back up, Maddie's still standing there, while Peter and Maeve look to be in the middle of a conversation.
"I don't get it, why me?" Maeve asks with a shake of her head, causing Peter to simply shrug.
"That's something only he can tell you." His smile is still apologetic as I move closer, coming to a stop next to Maddie as I watch. "But you heard him yesterday, so unless you plan to quit the Seven-"
"I get it." Maeve interrupts him, raising a hand to stop him with a sigh. "But… I'm just confused. Wouldn't it make more sense to send John?" She asks, gesturing to me in confusion.
"It's a test." I say, speaking up as all eyes turn to me. I look at Maeve with a still amused smile. "The public stuff you done might provide some, but Alex wants to know for himself how good you are. And who better to carry it out than two of his top militia soldiers?"
"I didn't think of that myself, personally, but that sounds about right." Peter agrees, nodding his head as he turns his own gaze back to Maeve. "I know it's inconvenient, and I am sorry for that."
"It's fine." Maeve assures with a small sigh, before giving him an amused smile. "It'll be nice to get away from here for a bit. I didn't have any plans anyway." She remarks as she turns back to me and Maddie. "Will you two be fine getting everything to your apartment?"
I wave her off with a chuckle. "We'll be fine. You two should go ahead and take off. If you're lucky, it's not an extended mission."
"It's not." Peter assures with a small chuckle of his own. "That much I know, or we'd all be going."
"Fair enough." I agree with a nod, before turning to Maddie with a smile and letting a hand rest on her shoulder. "Let's head down, get you settled in."
Maddie returns my smile with her own, that same one I love so much, before slipping herself under my arm and bringing her own around my back. "Can't wait."
I smile and let my arm fall around her shoulders, and I find myself unconsciously tugging her closer as I turn back to Peter and Maeve. "We'll see ya'll later." I say with a wave as me and Maddie turn around and make our way towards the door.
It isn't until we're down the steps with what we can carry of Maddie's stuff that we hear the jet take off.
It doesn't take too long for me to get Maddie's things into the apartment. I told her to go ahead and get a feel for the place while I bring all her stuff down to the apartment from the steps to the roof. It's not too difficult for obvious reasons, and it doesn't take too long either for me to get everything. I let it all sit by the door as I step into the apartment with the last few things, setting them down on the ground next to the rest as I look around the apartment.
"Maddie?"
"In here!" Maddie calls back to me, and her arm appears around the corner of the wall from the kitchen, waving at me as she does so. I simply shake my head in amusement as I walk closer, moving past the couch and TV and into the kitchen where I look over and see Maddie fiddling with the… dishwasher?
"What are you doing?" I ask with a small smile, stepping closer as a chuckle escapes me at her antics.
"I've never used a dishwasher before." Maddie replies, still messing with a couple of different buttons and dials on the thing to see what they do as she takes a glance at me. "At least we won't have to hand-wash dishes."
I only chuckle and step forward, crouching down next to her with a small smile as I look at the dishwasher myself. "Well," I bring a hand up and rest it upon her own, gently pulling it away as she looks at me in confusion. "When we need to wash the dishes, you don't need to mess with this stuff, just press this button." I push the sequence button, or whatever it's called, to make my point.
Maddie jumps in slight surprise as the machine whirs to life, before her expression changes to one of fascination at how quiet the thing sounds. I can't help but to chuckle at the look on her face.
"Does it really work that well?" Maddie asks, turning to me once more, causing me to nod my head in affirmation.
"Yeah, it does." I assure her as I stand back to my feet, offering my hand to help her to her own. She accepts, and I easily get her onto her feet before shaking my head with a chuckle. "So, you wanna unpack everything?"
"Um, where exactly can I put everything?" Maddie asks, rubbing the back of her neck in a sheepish manner. I can only shake my head in amusement.
"What all did you bring?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, causing her to blush in embarrassment.
"A good chunk of clothes… my computer… make-up… other essentials…"
"I'm gonna guess those other essentials are hairbrushes, bath items, and other shit of that nature?" I joke at her expense, receiving a light-hearted slap to the arm that makes me chuckle once more. I wave her along as I turn and make my way towards her things. "What's what?"
"It's all sort of jumbled." Maddie admits, blushing once more and averting her gaze to the ground in what almost sounds like embarrassment. "I spent a good chunk of last night packing, and I didn't really get much sleep because Mom and Dad were having an argument."
"You still tired?" I ask her, amusement fading quickly in place of concern as my brow furrows. But Maddie shakes her head to assure me.
"I got enough on the way here. Those seats are comfy." Maddie answers with a smile, causing me to once again shake my head with a chuckle.
"That they are." I say as my headshake morphs into a nod, before I crouch down next to Maddie's stuff and grab the nearest bag. "I don't have too much in terms of clothes, so feel free to make use of the dresser or the closet in the bedroom." I say as I open the back and reach in, pulling out the clothes Maddie had within. "If you want, I'll just sort through everything and you can set it where it goes."
"That's fine." Maddie answers with a nod, taking the clothes from my hand and moving past me and towards the bedroom as I go back to emptying out the bag. However, it's not long before Maddie's calling back to me. "Um, which dresser?"
"The one under the TV." I call back, watching the opening to the bedroom while I wait for a response. After a few moments, I hear a small 'oh', indicating Maddie's found it.
Once I clear out that bag, I move on. And Maddie wasn't kidding either. By the time I'm at the last case, she's still coming back and grabbing things while I start sorting through it all to make things easier.
However, her last travel bag ends up holding a… ahem, surprising item. Or items.
Within the bag is another set of clothes. I take a handful of clothes in my grip and pull out the ones on the top, setting them on the ground next to me with a glance before looking back into the case.
And then I find myself stunned, simply staring at what has been unveiled as my face begins to blush an obscene red color. Both due to the implications and the images that immediately enter my mind.
I find myself looking at a… well, they're toys. That's all I'll say..
I find myself staring in a baffled stupor for a moment, before immediately slamming the case shut a little harder than I intended, a loud bang echoing through the apartment as I find myself staring ahead, trying to process what I just saw.
There's still clothes in there… but this is the last case, so I'll let Maddie sort out what's left of it.
"What was that?!" I hear Maddie shout in alarm, the sound of rapid footsteps accompanying the shout as she almost materializes at the bedroom door, looking at me in with a startled gaze. Which is fair, as the case was quite loud when I closed it.
"I uh…" I'm honestly not even sure how to address this topic yet, considering me and Maddie have yet to even discuss where we actually stand with our relationship at the moment. Not to mention my complete embarrassment at having stumbled across this stuff. "Um… here." I just lift the case up and stand to my feet, walking over to her as I offer her to take it.
She looks even more confused at my actions, before her gaze wanders to the case. Since I didn't redo the locks, she simply lifts the lid up off of it… before her eyes fly wide and her face turns red at an alarming rate.
She too slams the case shut, but she just stands there staring at the thing in complete embarrassment. She looks like she wants to just disappear into the shadows and hide away.
There's an uncomfortable silence lingering between the two of us as we stand there. I find myself trying to look anywhere but at her in an attempt to save us both some embarrassment, while Maddie keeps her own gaze down.
"Um… I'm sorry…" Maddie says slowly, and she looks more than mortified at the current predicament.
Despite my own embarrassment, I let out a sigh and offered her a small smile. "It's normal, something we all do. No shame in it."
"It's embarrassing." Maddie mumbles under her breath, still refusing to meet my gaze as she takes the case from me and turns back into the bedroom, stepping towards the bed and dropping the case atop the mattress. "I forgot I packed them."
"Wait, so they are yours?" I stick my foot in my mouth before I can even think. I could have thought it was some matter of Alice mixing her things in with Maddie's by accident because that's happened before. But when Maddie nods her head in response to my question, albeit hesitantly, my eyes fly as wide as saucers and I just stand there. "Oh…"
"Sorry…" She apologies once more, sounding completely humiliated as her words escape her lips in a low, almost shameful tone.
"Nah, my fault." I say with a shake of my head, causing her to turn back to me in slight confusion. "I was the one who just started rooting through your shit. Should've asked first."
"Well I didn't say anything." Maddie replies, turning away once more as she continues in a shameful voice. "And I packed it, so…"
"Aw, Maddie…" I can't help how I sound almost saddened at the pitiful sight, and walk closer to her and gently grip her shoulder, turning her around to face me. She keeps her gaze down, so I offer a small smile and let a finger come up to hook her chin, gently bringing her eyes up to meet mine. "It's fine, okay? I get it."
"But-"
"Nope." I interrupt her immediately, both with a reply and by letting my index finger come up to rest atop her lips. "No buts. I mean it, it's fine. Just forget about it, we have to discuss things anyway when we're done."
Maddie holds my gaze for a moment, before she finally manages a small smile as she nods her head. "Okay…"
I can't help the small chuckle that escapes me as I gently pull her into a hug. "You made a bigger deal out of it than it really was. I hope you know that."
"It's embarrassing. And considering this is your home, a little rude." Maddie replies as she rests her head against my chest, and I find myself laughing again. "But I don't know how long I'll be here, and… well…"
"This may be temporary, but you know me. This is your home too." I assure her as we separate, giving her shoulders a few reassuring pats before letting them slide off. "Besides… you may not need it anymore?" I can't help but to pose it as a question, though I mean it as a joke. Though, the moment the words leave my mouth, I wanna break my jaw so I can't speak again.
Maddie's jaw drops in a stunned smile and her eyes go wide, and it seems as though her earlier embarrassment is gone. So at least that's a plus.
"That's a bit later down the line, don't you think?" Maddie asks with a grin as she regains her composure, and I find myself chuckling in amusement in spite of my own embarrassment as I nod.
"Got you to smile though, didn't it?" I reply, earning myself a giggle from Maddie even as she nods her head.
"Yes, John." Maddie replies in agreement, before looking up at me. "Why don't we go ahead and finish sorting things out? It shouldn't take too long… and then we can talk."
I find my smile softening at that, and I nod my head in agreement. "I like that idea." I assure with a chuckle.
It doesn't take too long for us to put all her stuff away. Once everything's put in it's designated spot, we just shove her bags and cases into the closet so that they aren't just sitting out in the open. Once that's done… well, there's nothing else to really distract us.
"So… what do we start with?" I ask, turning towards Maddie as we leave the bedroom, making our way to the couch. "Because I know our relationship isn't the only thing we have to talk about."
At that, Maddie's expression falls, turning more solemn as she nods her head in agreement. "Let's… let's get the bad stuff out of the way first." She says as we plop down on the couch. Maddie looks slightly surprised by how comfy it is, but that's clearly not her primary concern right now as she meets my eyes. "But first, do you want to talk about it?"
I hold her gaze for a moment, before my eyes fall away as I shake my head with a sigh. "No, not really." I admit, staring at the TV as an alternative of sorts. "But… well, you know. You deserve answers."
"This isn't about my curiosity." Maddie disagrees with a shake of her head, shifting on the couch so that she's facing me, a hand sliding over towards my own. Her delicate fingers wrap around my own calloused hand, and I unconsciously find myself gently returning the grip. "I want answers, sure… but you don't owe that to me. Wanting to know is my decision. Wanting to tell is yours."
Despite the topic, I can't help the small smile on my face as I look over at her. And she returns it with that soft, gentle smile of her own as I feel her fingers brush against my knuckles.
"I don't know where to begin." I admit with a shake of my head, smile fading as I prepare to recount the day. "I… I don't want to talk about it. But… at the same time, I'd feel too bad if I didn't. Does that make any sense?"
"A little." Maddie nods her head, her own smile fading as well as she pulls her hand from my own, instead lifting it and letting it rest upon my back. Her palm rubs in comforting circles against my shoulder blades, and I find myself relaxing despite my apprehension. "But… it's up to you."
I turn my gaze back to her, holding it for a moment. Taking in those baby blues. They say the eyes are the gateway to the soul… and I find myself comforted by what I see in hers.
Kindness. Understanding. Care. A gentleness that only she can manage.
"Mamaw forgot to grab her wallet. Sent me out to get it." I figure that's as best a place to start as any. "Found that someone had busted into the truck, though to this day I ain't sure how. My flannel was missing, and my spare ID had been swiped from the glovebox." I can't help it when a mirthless chuckle escapes me. "Never got that back."
Maddie pulls her legs up onto the couch and scoots closer to me, bringing her free hand up and letting it rest upon my shoulder as she continues to rub my back. She remains silent, probably waiting for me to speak.
"Anyway, next thing I know, I get whacked upside the head and then someone kicks my lights out." I suck in a deep breath, as if to prepare myself. To be fair, though, I've never actually talked about this part of my captivity. The bare minimum I've ever mentioned was about the table. "I woke up in a cold fucking room, buck naked, and bolted down to a table."
At that, Maddie's soft face twists into an expression of horror, and it's not hard to understand why.
"Why did they have you stripped?" Maddie asks, her voice barely above a whisper, and I can only imagine the scenarios running through her mind. Though, I don't suppose the truth is any better.
"Added more stress, I guess. Or so that it wouldn't stain my clothes, or impede the progress- I don't fucking know." I admit, giving up on trying to guess Jason's reasoning for that. I don't care what his reasoning is, he's a piece of scum who never should've seen the light of day. "I sat there waiting for a few minutes before those three walked in. Jason started yammering about how I was gonna be a part of such a great thing for superhumans, and… well they'd been watching for a long time."
"What do you mean?" Maddie asks, her brow furrowing in concern. My eyes barely meet hers, before I avert them once more with a sigh.
"Remember… remember when Papaw tried to teach me how to ride a motorcycle? I told I flipped it, right?"
"Yeah." Maddie nods her head in response, her expression growing confused when I mention it. "But what does that have to do with anything?"
"Because they knew about it, and there wasn't exactly an accident report for it." I answer with a small shake of my head. "I had my healing all those years and never knew. They'd been keeping an eye on me since that. So they had to have been there watching when it happened."
Maddie's expression turns to one of discomfort when I say that. Because it means there's a good chance they'd kept an eye on her too whenever she was with me, and that's assuming the best.
"Anyway…" I find myself trying to bring the conversation back on topic. Whether out of a sense of honesty, of my own want to get this over with, or maybe even some hidden desire to finally get it out, I don't know. "They… they uh…" Suddenly, I feel my emotions begin to spike. "They…"
A sawzall.
"They started with a sawzall." I recall. Despite knowing that I can't really wind myself anymore, I suddenly feel so out of breath, and I find my breathing speeding up. "Then uh…"
Metal breaking bone.
"My uh… my sternum." I sit up, suddenly feeling… vulnerable. Like there's something coming after me, something to truly fear. My chest feels like it's tightening up, and suddenly it feels genuinely hard to breath.
"John?" I hear Maddie's voice, and it sounds like it's filled with concern… but it's hard to tell when she sounds like she's saying it in water.
The feeling of tearing flesh.
"They…"
Organs shredding apart.
Are my eyes wet?
Why can't I hear anything?
"Th-They…"
My stomach hurts.
My stomach is… is it really hurting?
Screams.
"My… chest…"
AGONY.
JOHN!
"JOHN!"
I suddenly freeze, my gaze snapping around for the source of the voice screaming my name, before I feel a pair of gentle hands grip my cheeks.
And suddenly, my gaze is filled with a picture of concern… blue eyes meeting my own, scrunched in worry, soft breath against my face as I find myself inches from the face of…
… Maddie…
My own breath is shuddered, and I can't seem to get control of it no matter how hard I fucking try, and though I find comfort in seeing Maddie's beautiful features… why do I feel so scared?
So… so vulnerable…
"It's okay…" Maddie's soft voice fills my ears once more, as her hands gently tug me down until I'm pressed against her, her lips inches from my ears as I feel a hand come up to stroke my head. "You're fine, it's okay…"
"I-I-I…" Why am I stuttering? This isn't me! This isn't… isn't me…
Is it?
"Just let it out, John. It's okay." Maddie's comforting voice assures me. Her words are both soothing and comforting… and I…
I break.
My whole body shudders as a hiccup escapes me, and I finally become aware of the tears flowing down my cheeks as I clamp my arms around Maddie. Somewhere deep down, I restrain myself enough that I don't hurt her in my distraught state, but any grasp of that is lost on me as I let walls I didn't even know I had finally crumble.
All you can hear throughout the room is the sound of my sobs as I bawl into Maddie's shoulder, soiling her shirt with my tears as my whole body rocks with every breath.
"You're okay, John. It's alright." Maddie continues to soothe me, one hand gently stroking the back of my head while the other rubs comforting circles on my back. "You're not there anymore."
I don't think I can get a word out, so I don't even try. I just keep pouring my sorrows out in ugly noises of sobbing. It all just slams into me at once.
It's like I never really processed my abduction before, just… bottled it up.
And now, here I sit. The Juggernaut himself crying his eyes out on the shoulder of an extraordinary girl.
And… I don't think I can even try and do anything but that at the moment… I just sit there…
…and I cry.