The episode begins with a newbie in Gotham's criminal underworld, Dennis prowl or as he is christened himself music master walking through the Smoky interior of one of the many low brow drinking establishments some of the world's spend their time at when they want to be somewhere with drinks but not the fancy kind like in the Iceberg Lounge, a place where you're drown out your Sorrows was a good mug of cheap liquor and some half stale peanuts
he's Beginning to Look disgruntled when you can't really see what he supposed to be sitting through the smog, he's just about to yell out for one of his fellow players when the voice of Mary doll cut through the usual bar noises
Mary(angry yelling): for the last time!, I'm old enough to drink
Dennis follows the continued angry expertise to the table where Mary and the rest of them are sitting at
Edward: Mr Powell, it's good to know you have enough bravery to sit amongst hardened criminals for game of cards
Dennis: have connections in this town and what better way to make them than a nice little casual Game of Poker
Jonathan: so I take it we're betting with items and not money
jervis: yes I believe that was in the invitation, so let's just steal out the cards and set out our bets
Edward(deals out the cards and sets down a question mark Shaped gun as his bet): so Dennis I heard you almost did in the bat on your first big scheme, that's a real achievement there kid
Dennis(takes off his shades and set them down and as his back): it's kind of embarrassing actually you see-
Dennis is interrupted by Mary slamming down a videotape with the words "ltb band episode" scribbled on it with permanent marker
Mary: if you Schmucks want to hear a near killing of the bat story I got a good one
the scene Fades into a flashback as Mary's voice acts as narration
Mary(vo): so there I was in this Mega toy shop jumping out the second floor register into a pulley wagon, I'm just about to put the empty register back on the Shelf, then boom! the Batman falls through one of the skylights onto the counter
the scene she describes plays out and after her final comment the flashback version of her runs as fast as her little legs can carry, but before she starts running she throws the bag of cash she gathered down to the first floor, she continues to run to the escalator and slides down the banister
Mary: I was just about to go grab the money when the bat was suddenly in front of me, so I thought quickly and I kicked him as hard as I could in one of his knees
this action sends the Batman's crashing into a display of dolls which Avalanche is on to him, taking this opportunity of the bat being distracted Mary goes to the cash she threw to the first floor grabs it and begins dragging it as fast as she can to the entrance
Mary: I was sure it was a goner they were a lot of dolls stacked up on that display and that weight in my mind must have been suffocating him
and it was but the bat easily found an exit through the sea of plastic similes of babies and soon was out and just as soon we're throwing one of those three ball rope thingies to tangle up up Mary's legs
the flashback ends and in that time both Jonathan and jervis have put down their bits, a well loved Crow doll and a collector's edition Disney's Alice themed tea part respectively
Dennis: that's nice but can I-
jervis: oh that's nice and all dear Mary but it doesn't compare to mine
the scene once again goes into a flashback
jervis(vo): this plan was something I've been brewing in myself for quite some while, you see I plan to Rob the Gotham croquet championship of all of its cash winnings and it's quite interestingly themed award
the award is a golden statuette of the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland, the scene zooms out to show that Jarvis is standing next to the statue and next to five blank-eyed would be croquet athletes, all armed with croquet mallets painted to look like flamingos
jervis: I knew the bat was going to try and stop me and when he tried one of the contestants very kindly bopped him over the head for me, the back tied up to a tree about to be bludgeoned by croquetballs until he died
the bat is indeed tied to a tree by very impressive looking chains and at the Hatter's signaling whistle all the contestants will back the mallets and swing as hard as they can, only three of the six balls make contact onto the bat but it is evidently very painful, as a demonstrated by the Batman grimacing
jervis(in the flashback): impressive swing fellows,(snaps his fingers to call upon the ballman) my fellow if you would set out the balls once more
soon some more balls are in position and with another whistle more balls go flying, this time all six balls impact the Batman and one in particular hits his binding chains particularly hard, the bat notices and begins to struggle wildly widening the breakage in the chain link of his bindings
jervis: I was just about the signal the ball man again, when
a bad wearing flies knocking Jefferson's hat off of him and before he knows it the hat and the electronics was in a smashed with a croquet mallet
the flashback ends and Dennis is looking less sheepish and more disgruntled
Dennis(with a clearing of his throat): excuse me can I-
Jonathan: impressive Jervis, but I did something even more impressive I got my hands dirty
the scene once again flashbacks, the scene that is shown is that of the Batman following Jonathan into a corn maze
Jonathan(vo): I set up a whole Halloween festival with fear gas grenades, unfortunately the bat succeeded in neutralizing three of the big attractions I'd sabotaged, and now we clash in the final the corn maze
the Batman weaves and Maneuvers through the maze maze, he gets a glimpse of Jonathan but before he can run forward a skeleton which was propped on one of the Corn walls begins to spray fear gas out of its mouth, the world around him begins to spin and Haze and the Batman stumbles around, soon he presses himself into one of the cool walls to try and ground himself
Jonathan(vo): I took my chance I held Aloft my sickle and
with a definitive slash the blade of the sickle sinks deep into the Batman shoulder so deep it goes past the suit a nearly bone deep into skin, the Batman wrenches forward slicing the sickle through the skin of his back as he falls to the ground
Jonathan(vo): I was about to plunge the blade into his panicking heart
but much like many villains Jonathan takes the time to easily cackle at his soon to be bloody Victory and does it just long enough for the bat to flimsily pull out something and throw it at the man who in his eyes Towers above him, the impact of the item which turns out to be a can of crow repellent puts Jonathan out of balance and on his butt it gives the bat enough time to get on his legs again and swing a definitive punch to the face
the flashback ends and Dennis is looking irritatedly Furious
Dennis: can I please-
Edward: well we impressive John, but mine is a real personal best, I finally stumped the bat
once again a flashback starts and we're inside of a hijacked game show Edward as the host and three unlucky contestants
Edward(vo): I put three people who can see themselves the smartest people in Gotham to the test, with deadly consequences
below the guest part of the stage is a pool field with hungry piranhas with a taste for human flesh
Edward(in the flashback): and now we bring ourselves to my favorite part of the questionnaire the riddle section, let's start with contestant number three Batman, riddle me this I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn your pancakes brown, and I make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I'll pop. If you'll look at me, you'll pop. Can you guess the riddle?
Batman:hmmmm, temperature
Edward: wrong!, the question doesn't have an answer and that just gave you your third X you know that what that means Caped Crusader
Edward is about to press the button to open the trap door blow Batman's booth but then,
Edward (vo): he brought some unwelcome contestants
the booted foot of Robin kicks into the side of his head
the flashback ends and Dennis is shaking in his seat in anger
Dennis(yelling): can I please tell mine!
Everyone around him stares at him and shock
jervis: oh we're sorry please do
Dennis(takes a deep calming breath): okay so there I was having my lovely audience stuff every valuable thing they had on them into a big burlap sack, then the Batman was there and I
Jonathan(kind of interested): well what did you do
Dennis(losing his confidence): well I.. Well it's kind of stupid I probably shouldn't say
Mary(comfortingly): no it's okay you can tell us
Dennis: It's really stupid,i-
Edward(shouting): just tell us
Dennis(speaking quickly): Igrabbedasaxophonetothrowitathim
Edward(confused): huh?
Dennis(repeating himself but slower) I grabbed a saxophone and threw it with Adam
the scene pans over the rest of the players who all have unamused faces
Dennis(sheepishly): I threw it really hard I think it gave him a concussion
Jervis(trying to make the mood less awkward): anyways I think I've gotten myself a perfect hand
spreads out his hand with cards to see it's a very impressive hand, all the others defeated Lee put down there and see it's not as good as jervis's
jervis: oh yeah here comes some great eBay sales
he's just about to put his winnings into a grocery bag when a battery implants itself into the poker table
Batman: I knew I'd find you no lives here
Edward: but we weren't even doing any crime,(looks around angrily at the rest of the poker table guests) did one of you idiots do something illegal before you got here
Dennis(guiltly): oh my God I'm so sorry guys I stole convenience store money just in case we had your money in this
the rest of the poker table looks at him angrily and continues to do so when the scene fades to the Arkham Asylum cafeteria the next day
Mary(pissed): to think I was going to forfeit that banned episode I spent three months trying to find
Edward(angry but curious): where was that episode even banned for
Mary(in a matter of fact tone): a very long and disgusting fart sequence, it wasn't even in the actual episode script it was a blooper that was kept in because the director father was funny, the audience didn't though we got complaints of three people puking
Jervis(disgustedly): oh damn my impressive imagination I can almost hear it (gags) but I've completely lost my appetite here take my food
he pushes over his Asylum cafeteria slop to Dennis who looks at it in disgust and it's resemblance to diarrhea