Author's Note: roses are red, violets are blue. sebastian may be a demon, but im his boo (get it? demon. boo. ghost. ghosts say "boo". i'll stop )
now before y'all get y'all panties in a bunch, i'm here to remind y'all that this is a SebastianxCiel fanfic so please don't have a stroke this chapter lol. 💀 also, hope y'all enjoyed your christmas and have a happy new year! please excuse any and all errors :)
Warning: SebastianxClaude, lime, language, another chapter longer than expected. sorry
Disclaimer:Creedmoor Psychiatric Center is a real institution, yet fictional in this context for the story. I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler. All rights to Yana Toboso.
Amend
Ciel laid in bed waiting for Sebastian as he asked. As always, Ciel woke up to early morning showers and Sebastian already gone; going to the dayroom for breakfast. Oddly, he didn't see Sebastian there but assumed it had something to do with either kitchen duty or preparing whatever it was he wanted to show him. Ciel requested that he returned to his room to sleep and was locked in.
Minutes went by and Ciel sighed and closed his eyes. Sebastian's face appeared again. He thought back to the expression Sebastian had in his mind; sweat falling down his face, breathing heavy, eyes filled with lust and holding Ciel's legs apart tightly as he thrusted into him sweetly.
He could only hope that he muffled his gasps and light moans as best as possible. It would be embarrassing if someone were to hear him and question him.
Ciel crossed his legs tightly at the thoughts, trying make the growing and hardening length in his pants go away.
"You and Sebastian seem close." A soft voice came from outside his door.
Ciel popped his head up and saw that the slot on his door was open. Gorgeous hazel eyes behind large, thick, round glasses peeked in.
"I guess you can say that..." Ciel mumbled.
"He's a great man to have in your life. Cherish him."
Ciel's brows furrowed and he got up from his bed.
"You know Sebastian?"
"We used to be lovers." She says sadly with a small smile.
Ciel could feel his heart almost stopping. Surely, she couldn't be serious. The way Sebastian spoke, it appeared as if Sebastian had a soft spot for Meyrin because he pitied her. When Sebastian spoke of Meyrin around the first time they met, he did say that he had a soft spot for her but he never made any implications that they were close; not enough to be lovers.
"Fortunately, we didn't end on bad terms. We drifted apart, but he still is caring. He treats me no different than before."
"Before...?"
"Meyrin." Sebastian called from the corridor entrance. Meyrin jumped at the sudden sound of Sebastian's voice.
"S-Sebastian!" Meyrin stammered, her face heating up. Ciel could see how disoriented she became in Sebastian's presence. In a way, it was cute; like a middle school girl becoming flustered around her crush. On the other hand, it struck a nerve with Ciel; not the same extent that it did with Claude, but it did bothered him.
"Darling..." Sebastian sighed with a small smile as he approached, grabbing hold of Meyrin's hands and enclosing them in his. Meyrin melted at the touch and stumbled into Sebastian. Ciel firmly clenched his jaw at the sight. "I've told you, you have me mistaken with someone else. Your lover was not me."
"But... I know it was you."
Sebastian's eyes softened. "Whomever the man, he was very lucky to have had you."
Meyrin lowered her eyes sadly.
"Don't trouble yourself. I'm sure Finny and Baldroy are wondering where you are, yes?" Sebastian readjusted her glasses.
Meyrin's face reddened and she nodded. "Ye- Yes!" Sebastian released her hands and she ran from the corridor and back to the dayroom.
Sebastian watched and Ciel peaked through the window until Meyrin was gone.
"Just hopeless." Sebastian sighed.
"That was weird." Ciel said and Sebastian hummed as he turned to Ciel. "Lovers, huh?"
"Jealous?" Sebastian smirked.
"No." Ciel frowned and turned his head from Sebastian. Sebastian chuckled and CIel turned his head back when he heard something jingling from the other side of the door before hearing a hard click.
The door creaked open and Ciel's eyes widened. Sebastian held the keys up to Ciel and jingled them playfully.
"You're free." Sebastian smiled.
"How did you get those?" Ciel asked, unmoving from inside his room.
"How did you get those?" Ciel asked, unmoving from inside his room.
"I have my ways." Sebastian shrugged.
"What if we get caught? We could get in trouble."
"We could. That is if we don't leave now." Sebastian stepped back and gestured for Ciel to leave his room.
Ciel slowly walked out of his room and turned his head back and forth to both ends of the hall and saw no staff members were present. Sebastian stepped behind Ciel to close and lock his door.
Sebastian grabs CIel's wrist and walks towards the back of the corridor where the bathrooms were. Ciel's brows furrowed, questioning where exactly Sebastian was taking them.
Sebastian opened the door to the bathroom and closed it behind Ciel. Ciel followed closely behind as Sebastian opened a stall door that was out of order. The toilet sat away from empty space that could've been used as an extra stall. The empty space was moldy and stained. The walls were horribly chipped and weak. It looked as though it would collapse.
Sebastian closed the stall door and then walked over to the wall. He pressed his hand to the wall and pushed. The wall split and cracked open and a cold air flooded out from the darkness inside.
The wall folded in like a door and Ciel watched in amazement. The light from the bathroom shined in, showing old wooden steps that led to nothing but a wall and then an open space to the right. From the light, Ciel could see a large table, stools and closed doors in the back that could have possibly been used as storage closets. It was an odd structure and wasn't defined.
"What is this?" Ciel asked.
"Backrooms." Sebastian replied as he stepped inside. "They closed off this area when they reconstructing the building and divided it. For whatever reason, they left it here."
Ciel turned his head to make sure no one was watching and then slipped inside. He shivered and held his arms in the brisk air.
"It's freezing in here. How are you not cold?"
"I'm used to it." Sebastian said. He closed the wall and shifted to the left. Another set of steps sat next to the first; this set going down. "We have to go down."
"How? I can't see anything."
"Would you like me to carry you?" Sebastian asked, Ciel detecting his smirk even in the darkness.
"Childish." Ciel sucked his teeth.
"I try to keep it PG-13." Sebastian grabbed Ciel's hand and intertwined their fingers, making Ciel's heart flutter. He pulled Ciel close to him so the Ciel's face was now smothered in Sebastian's chest.
"Stay close so you won't fall." Sebastian said before turning and taking his first step down. Ciel stepped down as well and Sebastian continued. Almost tripping from not being able to see, Ciel used his other hand to wrap around Sebastian's arm. Sebastian was always incredibly warm compared to how cold the building was.
Sebastian sighed. "I'll have to carry you, won't I?" Sebastian asked, beginning to scoop Ciel in his arms bridal style.
"No!" He protested and pushed against Sebastian's strong chest.
"Stop yelling." Sebastian held Ciel firmly and started walking down the steps. Ciel stopped trying to fight against Sebastian and began leaning into him to capture his body heat. He unintentionally nuzzled his face into Sebastian's chest, inhaling the scent of cinnamon.
"Comfortable?"
Ciel nodded.
"You smell nice. And you're always warm. It's nice."
"That's good to know. Thank you."
Ciel hummed as he relaxed in Sebastian's arms. Sebastian leaned down slightly to press a soft kiss atop Ciel's head, making Ciel push Sebastian's face away.
"I told you to stop teasing me."
"What makes you think it's teasing?"
"Just stop it." Ciel huffed and Sebastian stayed quiet. Guilt immediately riddled Ciel's body, thinking that he hurt Sebastian's feelings and placed a wall up; preventing any flow of further affection and potential feelings Sebastian may have had for him. He just told him to stop and now he feared what that would look like if he did.
"I'm sorry..." Ciel mumbled.
"It's alright." Sebastian said, his voice not indicating any hurt nor anger. Ciel exhaled quietly.
His eyes snapped up when he saw light peeking out from a wall. Sebastian set him on his feet and went up to the wall, pushing it open as he did before with the wall three floors above. Ciel stayed closely behind him as Sebastian poked his out of the wall and then opened it further and motioned for Ciel to follow.
Ciel stepped out and saw that they were in another bathroom stall. Sebastian closed the wall and put a finger to his lips, signaling for Ciel to remain quiet while he scoped the area to make sure they were alone.
Sebastian bent down and looked across the floor to see if there were any feet in the stalls and outside. Seeing none, Sebastian stood back up and opened the stall and waved for Ciel to follow him out.
"How did you find out about this?" Ciel asked.
"After being here for a long time, you'll find things." He answered, closing the stall quietly behind them.
Sebastian opened the bathroom door to the lower level of the institute and slipped out swiftly, Ciel right behind. Sebastian took the ring of keys from out his pocket and unlocked the large steel door.
Ciel's eyes widened as Sebastian opened the door. For the first time in weeks, Ciel was faced with the outside world. Snow blanketed the grown and the cold air was painful. Sebastian took a few steps outside and looks back at Ciel who stood in the doorway, trying to create heat by rubbing his arms.
"Coming?" Sebastian asked.
Ciel didn't reply. He stood in shock, watching the outside and scared of the consequences had he dared step foot out.
"It's only for a few minutes, Ciel. I've done this many times. I would've been caught by now if I didn't know what I was doing." Sebastian said confidently, convincing Ciel to take a step out, leaving the door cracked open. "It'll only be a few minutes. I don't want you catching a cold."
Ciel nodded and hurried to Sebastian's side as they took quick yet careful steps away from the building. The snow crunched against their feet and lightly wet the tips of their pants. Ciel shivered as the continued to walk away from the building. He looked back and saw that they've walked a fair distance and began feeling nervous.
"Where are we going exactly? I thought you were supposed to show me something."
"I am." Sebastian stopped and bent down. He wiped snow off of what Ciel thought was the ground, only for it to be steel doors imbedded into the ground. Sebastian flicked off the snow from the handles that had large rusted chains roping around the handles, secured with a lock.
Sebastian looked through the keys and singled out a particular one that was a grayish-black and a tad larger than the rest of the large silver and gold keys on the ring.
Ciel shivered, the cold now pricking his skin and almost feeling as if it was being licked by flames. Sebastian unlocked the lock and removed the chains, opening the doors, snowing falling off to the sides.
Beneath the doors was a long dimly lit tunnel of cement.
"What is this?" Ciel bent down along with Sebastian, looking down beyond the doors as much as possible without falling in.
"Your way out." Sebastian pulls Ciel back slightly by the back collar of his patients' shirt, seeing that he was leaning too far down and would fall in. "This is a tunnel. It's attached to a sewer system a quarter mile down and it goes on for six miles miles before it hits the water."
"And what am I'm supposed to do when I reach the water?" His teeth began jittering.
"There's a floating raft I found a few miles down there. It was salvageable. Last time I checked it was still in good condition. I make a call to my friend in China, we take the raft, sail it to Denmark and he'll meet us there to take us the rest of the way back."
Ciel looked at Sebastian in disbelief. He couldn't believe anything that was coming from his mouth. Ciel tried to understand Sebastian's point of view; why he saw this as something that could and would be executed perfectly. He couldn't possibly think that two men on a raft would be able to sail across open water without mishap or casualty.
He briefly thought back to Sebastian disclosing his diagnosis to him and shook off the thought in shame. Sebastian believed him despite everything. He looked after him, even as a stranger, put himself in unfavorable positions to protect Ciel; even now, in his own way. Sebastian was always there and for him to think of him in such a distasteful way when he was trying to help —in his own way, that is— was horrible.
"I don't know about this Sebastian. Have you really thought this through?" Ciel breathed out.
"Yes." He stated plainly.
"You think that a small, blowup floating raft will be able to carry two men across open ocean water in the dead of winter and we'll just... Be okay? Even if we did make it to Denmark in one piece, what the fuck are we supposed to do until we meet your friend?"
"Well... There's also a dock quite a way from the end of this tunnel. I know they have a few sailboats, but they're usually removed after the summer. There's a possibility that there are some fishing boats that are still docked, but I would have to use the raft to take me there in order to bring the boat back."
"How do you even know about this?"
"During lights out, I snuck out like now and explored down here during the summer." Sebastian sighed, cold mist leaving his mouth from the air, as he closed the doors. "If you don't trust me, I understand."
"It's not that, it's just..." Ciel trailed off. He didn't know how to veil his doubt in Sebastian. His plan, this 'way out' he had generated in his mind was not convenient or consistent to be dependable. Ciel thought that after Sebastian being confined to this building for years, he saw his self-admittance as a mistake; something he regretted. A regret that led to him devising escape schemes that would grant him any taste of freedom he could grasp. Ciel could empathize, so much that he saw himself in Sebastian. This could be him if he were to be sentenced to this institution for an extended period and he could only feel himself saddening at Sebastian's desperation.
"If you have this all worked out, why haven't you left?"
"Because I haven-" Sebastian was cut off by a male's flamboyant voice quickly approaching.
"Fuck..." Ciel's heart dropped.
They been caught and he could only imagine the repercussions William or Ash had in store. Sebastian swiftly wrapped the chains around the door handles and locked them, placing the keys in his pocket. He stood. up and pulled Ciel up along with him, awaiting the male running towards them.
Ciel's heart pounded against his chest as the person approached, but as they got closer, he could make-out the uniform color as on that Creedmoor patients wear. Another male behind him, running on all four like a dog.
Sebastian placed a warm comforting hand on Ciel's shoulder.
"It's just Finny and Pluto." Sebastian reassured. Ciel released his tense muscles and breathed deeply.
The two males reached the other two, the blond keeping a fair distance apart, while the other ran too Sebastian for acknowledgement and petting. Pluto flipped over on his back and wiggled around for Sebastian to pet his stomach, only to be ignored.
"Finny." Sebastian greeted with a small smile. "Pluto..." Sebastian glared down at the poor dog-man, who winced and drew back from Sebastian's cold gaze. Ciel felt slightly bad at Pluto's treatment while he hid behind Finny.
'How did he know we were out here? Did he follow us? How much did he see?'
"What're you two doing? You'll freeze out here." Finny asked as he shivered.
"I was just showing Ciel something."
Ciel's eyes widened and his head snapped to Sebastian. He wouldn't dare to tell Finny their secret. Would he?
"Something like what?" Finny cocked his head to the side.
"How old are you again?" Sebastian smirked as he gripped his waistband. "You are over eighteen, yes?" He pulled his pants just a few inches down his V-line.
"S-Sebastian!" Finny stammered as he blushed and covered his eyes at.
Ciel sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes as Sebastian chuckled and pulled his pants back up. Sebastian could be so lewd, but I guess he used it to his advantage when he needed a distraction. Ciel didn't necessarily worry about Pluto, as the male didn't seem like he had any sliver of self awareness or comprehension. Hopefully it was enough to make the blond forget why they were outside in the first place. He didn't even care what implications Sebastian was making to Finny of what they could've been up to; he just wanted him to forget.
"Let's head inside before you all catch a cold." Sebastian pushed Finny and Ciel forward.
Finny nodded and headed towards the door as Pluto followed. Ciel crossed his arms and rubbed them. He stayed back waiting for Sebastian and looked back at Sebastian whom was taking snow from the ground and placing in on top of the doors. The winter wind blew harshly, only adding to the needle-like piercing pain Ciel felt ripple through his body. Ciel turned the opposite way to avoid hard specs of snow hitting hit face.
As Sebastian stood and dusted his pants, Ciel turned around and he could feel burning in his chest. His eyes narrowing on the left side of Pluto's back.
That same symbol.
"No..." Ciel mumbled to himself as he picked up his pace to get a better observation; to make sure he wasn't 'seeing things'. It wasn't helping that Pluto was walking as if he was a dog, but as he got closer and the wind blew once more, it only provided him with confirmation.
Ciel stopped in his tracks and stared blankly at the fading figures of Finny and Pluto as they re-entered the building. Between the eerily similar dagger in Ash's office to the exact same brand symbol on the same area as Pluto on created a bigger mid-fuck to him than he was able to comprehend all at once and what this meant for him in particular.
"Finny won't say anything. I promise." Sebastian put a hand on Ciel's lower back. "Please go before you catch a cold." Sebastian urged and pushed Ciel to go inside, his body reverting to muscle memory as Ciel's conscience wasn't present. His body went into auto-pilot and stood idly by as they went inside, Sebastian closing the door behind them.
"How did you see us outside, Finny?" Sebastian asked.
"I didn't. Pluto did." Sebastian shot another annoyed glare at Pluto for a split second, making the man-dog's eyes sadden. "Drossel sent me down to check the boiler. I hate coming down here alone, so I brought Pluto with me."
Sebastian nodded and looked to Ciel who happened to be staring into space; too caught up in his own head to pay attention to the conversation being had.
"So, what were you two doing outside anyways? It's not allo-"
"Ciel, are you okay?" Sebastian purposefully interrupted to deflect, but also being concerned. Ciel didn't look good. He slightly swayed back and forth and blinked slowly.
"I just need to lay down..."
"He doesn't look too good." Finny said worried and successfully distracted once again.
"You don't feel sick, do you?" Sebastian placed the back of his hand to Ciel's forehead.
"No. I'm just tired." Ciel lied, softly taking a hold of Sebastian's hand.
"I'll take Ciel back upstairs." Sebastian waved Finny off. Finny nodded and turned. Ciel turned his head back to look at Pluto, only catching to end of his legs while he scurried off with Finny.
To avoid being caught or questioned by staff if they were to take the main steps back up to their unit, Sebastian asked Ciel if he could bare the cold backrooms once more, as he would assure he would get them back in time before the cold could do any damage to Ciel's health.
Making it up to the unit, Sebastian guided Ciel back to his room.
"Are you sure you're alright? Do you need me to bring you anything? Tea?"
"I'm fine. Tea would be nice though."
"I'll be back momentarily, then."
Ciel nodded, stepping into his room and laid on his bed while Sebastian closed the door.
Confusion and frustration of trying to piece together what that symbol meant and why it was on Pluto, only gave Ciel a headache. He turned on his side and rubbed his temples, waiting for Sebastian's return.
Amend
Another night of Ciel missing dinner and Sebastian was concerned. He even left kitchen duty early to check on Ciel, making sure that he wasn't getting sick. Well enough, Ciel escaped a cold.
Sebastian even offered to sneak in dinner for Ciel and stay with him outside his room to talk, but he refused and told Sebastian he was able to hold out until breakfast and that he was okay. Although Sebastian could tell Ciel was lying, he fell back and didn't want to pry. Ciel will be ready to open up on his own time.
His mind was a fog and it blocked out his hunger. He tried to draw connections between Ash, Pluto, and himself; wondering what it could mean. If Ash was Ciel's kidnapper and murderer of his parents, what would he have wanted with Pluto and why brand him? Considering that Ciel was caged and treated like a pet, Pluto could have been subjected just the same.
Nothing made sense.
He thought of trying to talk to Pluto. It couldn't hurt, but he didn't get his hopes up for a reply.
Sleep found Ciel after hours of memory replays and scenarios, but Ciel woke up well after lights out, needing to go to the bathroom.
Ciel got up and groaned at the feeling of his bladder being full. He slipped his shoes on and walked to the door. Ciel peeked through his door window and his eyes danced back and forth to see if there were staff present to let him out. He frowned at the sight of Sebastian's door being cracked open.
Ciel looked down at his own door handle and gripped it tightly before pulling it slowly without it stopping from locks.
He remembered that Sebastian never locked his door once they returned to the unit.
He slowly pushed the door open trying to prevent any noise that would notify any staff. He slipped out and pushed the door back. He peaked into Sebastian's room and called his name softly, but there was no reply. He wondered if Sebastian snuck outside again or was using the bathroom.
He proceeded down the hall to the bathroom. The door was slightly cracked and the lights remained on. He sped-walk to the third urinal. It sat parallel from the third stall and down from the 'out-of-order' stall that hid the cold dark backrooms of what Creedmoor used to be before reconstruction.
Ciel pulled his pants down slightly and released himself. Once finishing, he washed his hands and looked around for paper towels to dry his hands.
While looking around the room, Ciel heard a brief screeching noise that sounded like furniture being dragged on the floor. Frankly, it shook Ciel up. His heart skipped and he froze.
Standing still, he focused his hearing, allowing it to dominate his other senses to detect noise he didn't pick up before.
Another small screech happened and Ciel began to follow the sound to the 'out-of-order' stall. Ciel slid the lock open and opened the stall door and looked off to the right to see the chipped and cracked wall closed. He approached the wall and pressed a hand to it. It was cold just like the air behind it and Ciel could hear light bumping from the other side.
Ciel pushed the wall open slowly and poke his head in. He looked to the right and felt that tight burning twinge in his chest at the sight of Sebastian sitting halfway on the table with Claude's arms holding Sebastian under his thighs. Sebastian's face was hidden, being buried in Claude's chest with his arms wrapped around his shoulders, gripping a handful of Claude's hair; both of them nude from the waist down and Claude thrusting in and out of Sebastian.
An airy moan left Sebastian as Claude picked up his speed and thrusted into Sebastian harder. He tightened his grip on Sebastian and pulled him closer. Claude leaned his head down, nuzzling it in Sebastian's hair and moaned.
Claude's golden eyes glanced to the side and locked with Ciel's. Ciel looking obviously upset and a bit confused didn't stop Claude and his expression of half lidded lustful eyes and a slightly gapped mouth didn't change as he continued to pump in and out of Sebastian.
Ciel had seen enough.
And he was livid.
He closed the wall and left the stall, leaving the bathroom. He knew that he couldn't say or do anything despite his anger because what would come of it? He lashes out, draws attention to all three of them which will leave them all subjected to punishment and embarrassment and possibly Sebastian's resentment.
How would it appear to Sebastian if he were to know Ciel was upset about his relation with Claude when he had never reciprocated any affection that was given to him?
Sebastian and Claude were most likely intimate well before Sebastian even knew Ciel existed, but he couldn't help but feel that this was his fault. Every time Sebastian would flirt, Ciel would shoot his attempts down; just like today, he literally pushed Sebastian away. If Sebastian had any genuine feelings and interest in Ciel, it was probably gone by now.
The pain in Ciel's chest remained and traveled to his throat, tightening it and unintentionally grinding his teeth.
An irritated expression was held, but on this inside, his heart was hurting. He wouldn't expect Sebastian's teasing that he secretly adored or his small compliments of calling him 'cute' or his affectionate touches.
They were gone now. And he only had himself to blame.
Amend