Chapter 92: Quiet Declarations

With reports filed and the kids and Elise getting settled, Heero thought that maybe things with Duo would settle as well. There was an underlying expectation for him to take that new assignment, leave his old job behind, and start moving forward with his life.

Nothing was going quite the way he anticipated.

Duo threw himself into work again, much sooner than anyone thought was healthy. Though Une refused to put him in the field, he was working from home and splitting time between engineering and cyber security. When questioned about this decision, he made an offhand comment about owing his colleagues for their help clearing Trowa's name so quickly, and didn't explain further. Wufei, meanwhile, was back at work without a permanently assigned partner.

Heero wondered why Duo and Wufei couldn't lock down a partnership.

"Just go home if you're only going to sit there obsessing over him."

He turned to see Trowa eyeing him from the entry to their office. There was no point in denying the truth, especially when his partner could read him the moment he walked in through the door.

"I'm only worried."

"Obviously."

Trowa closed the door behind him and came to stand in front of Heero's desk rather than taking a seat at his own across the room.

"I don't think he's processing. He's jumping back into a routine too soon and—"

"Heero?"

"Yes?"

"You're way off base."

Trowa's words stopped him cold. Off base? He wasn't sure how he could be off base. He knew Duo well and he was certain the braided man was not processing his grief. Could Trowa perhaps see something he didn't? He shot the other man a look he knew would silently convey his need to learn more. It worked.

"I don't know what you expect him to behave like when coping, or what you think it ought to look like. But Duo is okay. He broke down already. And he's not the type to wallow in self-pity. He doesn't brood. He feels what he needs to feel and he forges ahead."

"But—"

"It's different for you because you shut down emotions as a child, then learned to express them as an adult. Your idea of what it means to deal with emotions is different from his. But he and I are similar. I promise you, he's dealing with this directly."

"But how—"

"Just think about it, Heero. You weren't afforded emotions, but you did have a sick sort of stability. Between Odin and J you had someone steady in your life, some kind of routine. From what I understand, Odin made sure to protect you in his own way. And J was building you into something and wouldn't let all his work go to waste. You would not starve to death, or die easily, but you did need to survive your training. Duo... he had all the emotions but no stability at all. There was no time for him to linger on anything bad or good, because he needed to survive on a primal level. He feels things. But he is also acutely aware that life doesn't ever stop. He will never be down long because he couldn't afford to lose any of the edge he gained on the street. That smile of his... it's a mask, but it's also genuine. His happiness is never a lie, he just finds things to be glad about when he otherwise might collapse into himself."

A voice from years ago echoed into Heero's head, from his time seeking therapy.

"You don't think it's avoidance?"

The way Trowa's eyes softened hit him with a strong mix of emotions. His friend genuinely cared, both about him and about Duo. If he couldn't tell by the way Trowa spoke, at length and with great thought and consideration, he could clearly tell by that gentle emotion in green eyes. It was small moments like these when he felt just how far they'd all come, and how they'd grown from children into men.

"No. For someone else, what he's doing could be avoidance. For him it's his method of working through something. I guarantee you he's not in denial. If asked, he'll admit he's not okay."

Something about that sentiment clicked in Heero's mind. Duo did openly and repeatedly admit he was stormy and not in a great place. He just didn't tend to offer it up unless confronted, or during an apology for his behavior. And he wasn't running anymore. Not physically, not emotionally. Trowa made a good point, because he hadn't really considered that Duo would have a different method of dealing with his traumas. His therapist, the good one, told him that he sometimes had tunnel vision when he wanted the best for another person. The man was right, and that was something he worked hard to shake and would continue to work on for a long time.

"I've been... an idiot, haven't I?"

He wasn't expecting Trowa to bark out a harsh laugh, but he couldn't help smirk at his friend's reaction.

"It's not stupid to care about someone. Just be a bit more patient."

"It's... hard to do that, when everything between us feels so delayed. I want to go back to how things were."

"Before L2."

"Yes. Before L2."

"You were glowing before L2. I'm not sure I've ever seen you so happy."

They began to settle into a comfortable silence, each reflecting on how their time on Duo's home colony changed all their lives, with Trowa occupying himself by stealing a bit of candy from Heero's desk. He wondered, idly, when exactly his partner began keeping candy at the ready. Then green eyes focused on something new in the office.

"Where did you get that?"

He pointed to a small and familiar painting displayed in the bookcase to the left of Heero's desk. It was cradled by what looked like a custom metal stand designed to keep the canvas upright without any traditional framing. Somehow it was built to perfectly hold the art while leaving no part of it covered. The frame looked handmade, by someone with great knowledge of welding and a will for it to hold up against a low speed vehicular impact.

Heero turned to look at the painting, a smile dancing on his face.

"Duo gave that to me. Said he wanted to give it to me on my legal birthday, but we weren't speaking then. So instead he held it until the time seemed right. Told me that after L2 he realized life was too short to wait to give gifts, and my return to desk work was a good enough reason to celebrate."

It made sense now, why Duo was so drawn to a painting Trowa knew instinctively didn't feel like his own style. His friend hadn't been looking at paintings with himself in mind. He was looking for a gift. The memory of how Duo lit up upon seeing that artwork brought a smile to his face. Duo really was incredibly happy when he knew he'd make someone else happy.

"Do you like it?"

Heero thought for a moment.

"Yes. Very much. I don't always appreciate art. It's a nice combination of colors but that's not what makes it so interesting. It's the texture that fascinates me, and how it almost makes the color an afterthought, because the way the light catches on it shifts the colors. It's different from every angle. I find it very pleasant."

Duo, Trowa decided, still had surprises left in him.

"Impasto."

"Hm?"

"That use of texture in a painting is called impasto." When Heero gave him a questioning look, he shrugged. "Quatre told me once."

With a smile on his face, Trowa crossed the room to his desk and logged into his computer. The two of them remained silent, each in their own thoughts. After a time, Trowa leaned over his desk with his elbows supporting him, and Heero leaned backward in his chair, drifting precariously with his balance. They were interrupted when Wufei opened the door and walked into their office.

"So what are we doing about that braided baka?"

Heero and Trowa's eyes met, and they asked in unison "How did you know we were talking about Duo?"

Their joint reaction startled them into silence. Wufei simply rolled his eyes. It was not the first time he'd seen them at work synchronizing their thoughts.

"Any ideas? Does he want things to stay quiet or does he want everyone to know just how we all know one another? Because he hasn't told me, but I thought maybe you already knew. There's been a lot of turnover at HQ since he last worked here under his own name. Most people won't know him outside of the rumors swirling earlier in the year after the incident."

Wufei saw the gears turning in their heads and decided it was best to help them along.

"When he starts. Next week."

Still, those gears turned but produced nothing.

"Do neither of you know he signed on as my partner?"

As soon as Heero felt his center of gravity collapse, as soon as he felt an unfamiliar loss of control followed by his body slamming into the floor, he knew he'd never live it down. Especially when Trowa and Wufei completely ignored him. Ignoring his fumble was a surefire sign that they were logging it for later use against him.

"He took the job?"

"He did. Though now I'm wondering just when he intended to inform Yuy of his decision."

Heero picked himself off the floor and brought his chair upright once again.

"Did you ruin a surprise for Heero?"

"No, I don't think so. Duo would've told me if there was a surprise, or if it was a secret."

Frowning, Heero gave them both a glare.

"I'm right here, you know."

"Maybe he correctly anticipated that Heero would overreact to the news. He's been waiting for this for so long."

"True. Plus, we all know this choice is a declaration of his intent to start a more normalized life for himself. Stop all that isolation and travel. Grow some real roots."

"Want to bet over how long Heero will be insufferable after getting everything he's wanted?"

"No. I know better than to get wrapped into your bets. But I do not envy you, Barton."

"Care to switch partners?"

"No! Duo's mine. You're stuck with the other one."

Exasperated, Heero declared "I'm still here!"

"Are you?" Trowa turned to him with a mischievous look in his eyes. "Because you weren't getting any work done before this news, and I'm pretty sure you'll be lost in your own thoughts for the remainder of the day."

Heero's eyes narrowed.

"Shove it, Barton!"

"I think that's my cue to leave" Wufei nodded to each of them. "But if you find out anything about how Duo wants to handle this, let me know. The whole floor is buzzing with rumors already." At Heero's confused look, he clarified. "I've not had a partner stick in nearly five years, and no one's tried to pair me off in the last two. My reputation at Preventers implies I'm impossible to get along with. Everyone wants to know who this miracle agent is that Une hired."

It wouldn't take long for Heero to discover how true that statement was.

In the meantime, Trowa was right, and he was completely unable to focus on any tasks. He left work early and went straight to Duo's place without calling first. Part of him refused to believe it was real until the news was confirmed from the source. And while he could have just asked Une, that felt like going behind Duo's back.

Shortly after he knocked on the door Duo opened it and gave him a scrutinous look.

"What time zone were you using when we made plans for later? Because by my count you're about three hours early."

Heero quietly smiled and let himself in. Once his shoes were removed he replied in a hushed tone, "Can't I just miss you?"

The way Duo eyed him suspiciously made him incredibly happy, though he couldn't pinpoint why.

"I'm gonna go with no as my answer since I saw ya this morning and clingy behavior isn't particularly sexy. You should know. You dealt with Relena."

Ignoring that comment, Heero stepped further into the small room, choosing to make his way towards the large windows. There was some decent people watching to be had.

"Any chance you're done with work for the day?"

He didn't turn around to face Duo when his partner replied.

"I could be persuaded to call it quits."

"How long do I have you before you're back in the field?"

An awkwardness hung in the air between them. He'd wanted Duo to tell him on his own, but he wasn't as patient of a man as he thought. He was compelled to push, and it was clear Duo understood.

"Wufei told you."

It wasn't a question, and at those words Heero did turn around. Duo was standing a bit closer now, though still out of reach. He didn't appear to have any intention of going back to his laptop.

"Yes."

"I was hoping to just kinda show up in my new role. No big deal, just me doin a new job."

"Is it not a declaration?"

He saw Duo's eyes shift in color and knew his every facial movement was under complete scrutiny. Duo was sizing him up, gauging his reaction.

"I already made all my declarations in private. Didn't think this was such a big step after all that. Seemed like the obvious course of action to me."

"And you're happy?"

Anyone who didn't know Duo well would miss his surprise, but Heero caught it, clear as day.

"Yeah, Ro. I'm happy with my choice."

"And you made it for you, right?"

The soft and sincere smile he earned with that question made Heero feel incredibly loved.

"Yeah. Promise I did this for me, not you. Remember back in January when I came to HQ and met up with you in that conference room?"

"I remember you not wanting me to kiss you, yes."

Duo choked on a laugh and stepped forward until he and Heero were flanking the largest section of his window.

"You mad about that?"

"Never. But it was memorable."

"Uhuh."

"It made me second guess myself, since I was left feeling like we were heading in that direction on New Year's eve, that we both wanted to take the next step. When a week later we were back to where we started, it was memorable."

"Does it make you feel better to know how incredibly hot you were, and how painfully turned on I was when I had to reject your advances?"

A light came into Heero's eyes.

"Oh? Is that right?"

"Yeah." Duo held up and hand and gestured with his thumb a forefinger, bringing them together until they nearly touched. "I was this close to giving in and risking a reprimand in both our files for fucking in that conference room, because after so long without you I would not be quiet, and that look in your eyes? Damn. I just wanted you to take me then and there."

Heero's whole face lit up.

"You did?"

"Yeah. But I have incredible self-control."

"Self-control is overrated."

Duo sorted as he choked down a laugh.

"Didn't ya ride me in the war for my lack of self-control, sayin I was a poor excuse for a soldier?"

"I didn't ride you until the end of the war."

Heat flooded Duo's face, and he knew he was deeply blushing.

"Ro!"

"What? You're the one who phrased it that way."

A hand flew up to cover Duo's eyes as he sighed in frustration and began to grumble to himself.

"Dios mío, no lo puedo creer..." He lowered the hand to his mouth and asked "When'dja get like this? Teasin me insteada the other way around?"

"Don't pretend you can only stand to dish it out, we both know, I certainly know, that you are just as willing and happy to receive."

Heero enjoyed Duo's stunned, slack-jawed expression. He could see that brain buffering under the weight of his words. A speechless Duo Maxwell was always an accomplishment. Patiently, he waited for Duo to reboot himself.

"Who the hell am I dating?"

"The same guy who's loved you since we were teenagers."

A softness took over Duo's face.

"That long?"

"Yes. That long."

"Damn, Ro."

He watched Duo bite his lower lip and look around sheepishly. This was something he very much enjoyed, but knew couldn't last.

"So... why exactly did you bring up that time in the conference room?"

With a chuckle, Duo answered.

"Right. So about that... I was at HQ to meet with Une, and Wufei was encouragin me to take my new job."

This time it was Heero who was caught off guard.

"You were planning for that long?"

"Not really? I mean... he was doin his best to convince me that I wanted more stability. Helping me out by assurin me if I did take a more typical job, I'd have his full support. Told me no matter what happened between you and me, he'd always be my friend and have my back. I think he wanted me to know I had a place with everyone."

For a moment, Heero wondered just how many quiet actions of Wufei's he'd need to thank the man for.

"Anyway, the job's been a long time comin. And I'm happy takin it. The timing of a pay cut isn't great, but there's certainly an added bonus with your name attached, and that's better than money."

"Timing?"

Duo gave him a lop-sided smile that said you are an idiot, but he couldn't figure out why.

"Think about it, Ro. I just cashed out all my accounts. Sold my bike to make up what I was short on. I got no liquid assets left. Since L2 I've put everything on credit."

He felt incredibly stupid. How could he forget that Duo was flat broke? He was so wrapped up in his partner's mental health he'd overlooked the stress that having no money to his name would lay on Duo's shoulders. He was still an adult with bills to pay, a career over a decade in the making, and currently nothing to show for it.

"Did they recover your funds?"

The nonchalant way in which Duo shrugged was just so very him. It was remarkable how he really didn't care about the money.

"Une said if he was stupid enough to deposit it into an account with his name, they'll find it. But then it'll be held up for investigation, subject to a lotta legal bullshit... the best case scenario is they find it and release it to me at some indefinite point in the future. But you know how it goes. I don't expect to see any of it again."

"I can help with anything you need."

His mind jumped to Duo's rent, and then a voice in his head whispered that maybe a silver lining could be found. If Duo couldn't afford keeping a roof over his head, perhaps he'd be willing to move in with him. He hated that voice, and stopped himself from cringing at his own thoughts when a louder, much more urgent voice in his head scolded him. It said financial abuse is still abuse. He knew that, and was disgusted with himself for even considering trapping Duo with him. Helping because he cared was one thing. Trapping him into living together, or any number of manipulations designed around their current situation to force Duo into something he wasn't ready for, was a whole other thing.

Clueless, his partner smiled at him.

"That's sweet of you, but I'll be okay. My next paycheck from Preventers will deposit before my bills are due and if it didn't I'd just be a little late. Only real downside is not bein able to do more for the Elise and the kids."

Heero became less disgusted with himself when the relief he felt from Duo's answer was palpable. Independence was important to his partner, and knowing it wasn't jeopardized eased a lot of Heero's tension. Anything that made things easier on Duo was a win.

"I understand that you're concerned, but Quatre's taking care of them. You should focus on yourself."

"Yeah..." Duo reached up a hand to awkwardly scratch behind his ear, his fingers jarring his messy braid. He leaned his body into the window. The late day sun cast a warm and orange glow across his face, and for a fleeting moment that warmth caught Duo's eyes and made them look almost like a dark azalea pink. Duo didn't at all notice how Heero stared. "Quat's reliable for that and all. He's even keepin me in the loop. The community took a vote and decided to rebuild. It'll be a full-on community center this time, no church. Might even tear down the dorms."

That was a surprise, and it shook Heero from the lingering effect of that color shift.

"I thought the secondary building was untouched by the fire."

"Yeah, but Elise is worried the kids'll never feel safe there again. So it's looking like everything I did will be torn down and replaced with somethin Quatre's doing. I'm... sure it'll be bigger and better. He's got a whole lot more resources than me. The kids'll have the best."

As Duo spoke, an odd tone crept into his voice. Heero realized, belatedly, that Duo was also mourning his contributions to the community. Thanks to Chevalier, Elise and the kids were back to square one, and nothing Duo worked so hard to build for them would remain. It was all gone, like he'd never helped out at all. Not knowing what to say, he watched as Duo quickly gathered himself once more. When he turned away from the window his eyes shifted back to their usual cool purple.

"It's good for them. Doesn't matter where it comes from, it'll be a plus to have those facilities back. Quatre can even expand the free daycare to help more families and keep the food pantry well stocked. Get 'em things I couldn't. I'm happy for them, but it's not, you know, the same. Taking care of them was a big part of my life when I didn't have anything. Now someone else is doing it and I'm bein told after. Just... feels like a lotta change all at once. It's selfish, but it would've been nice to keep something. Just a small part of it. There's not much that's been steady in my life."

Heero was starting to hate how often Trowa was right.

"You have me and the guys. Sally and Une. Are we not steady enough?"

The pained look on Duo's face made Heero almost regret his words.

"I wanna say you are, but... I guess it'll take time for me to stop waiting for something to go wrong with all of you. It's been 3 weeks since L2 and right now I feel very much like I'm floatin in space with just a suit. No Gundam, no shuttle, just me and a finite oxygen tank."

Heero wasn't sure if Duo's choice of words were deliberately chosen to evoke memories of the time he floated in space with just his flight suit. It was only meant to paint a picture of how he felt. But Heero didn't need to imagine how lonely and precarious the situation his partner described would feel. It was one of many wartime memories he'd never forget.

"How can I help?"

Duo appeared puzzled.

"You can't. This one's on me. Just keep bein you. That's all I really want from ya. That, and to keep moving forward."

That was something Heero could work with.

"Then let's move forward. You're starting a new job, and you're happy about this even if some of the other changes in your life aren't so great right now. So how would you like to celebrate the good change?"

Duo's lips curled into one of his lop-sided grins as he considered options. Heero took the opportunity to close the distance between them and guide Duo towards the couch. Once they were comfortably situated, Duo spoke.

"Well... We could stay in, but I've been here all day. And as much as I'd like a change of scenery, goin out isn't really appealing either. I'm just... not really in the mindset for a crowd, you know? And it's a little last minute to call the guys, so..."

His words cut off as Heero reached out and laced his fingers into the hair at the back of his neck. The sensation caused him to shiver, and he didn't hide it.

"If you want to go somewhere, but don't want a crowd, how about I take you somewhere very special to me? No crowd. But it will require you to want to be minimally social."

Curiosity came off Duo in such strong waves it almost made Heero laugh.

"That sounds perfect! Where are we going?"

With a slight lean, Heero stole a kiss.

"Nowhere yet. But we can head out in a little under an hour. Need to make a stop at my place first."

"Gotta change clothes or somethin?"

"I don't have to, but I will. I'll fix us a quick meal before we pick up what I need."

"What's that?"

Heero pulled his partner into a cuddle and was met with no resistance.

"You'll find out later. Right now I'd like you to tell me all about your new position at Preventers. I heard you negotiated the hell out of it."

There was something intangible and beautiful in the way Duo described the job he'd created for himself with Une. Heero didn't mind how Duo slid out of his arms to talk with his hands as he described how everything fell into place. For months he and Une met in private between Duo's assignments to iron out details about his duties, benefits, and pay. When Trowa and Wufei accompanied him to Une's office as they all asked for Duo to be given a job opportunity, she led them to believe Duo was by far the most senior agent among them. When Duo told the story, there was no room for doubt. If the people at HQ who were already talking about Wufei's new partner saw his rank, they might just be gossiping because Wufei, highly decorated in his own right, was suddenly a junior partner.

Heero wasn't sure if there was anyone in Preventers, at any branch, with the accolades attached to Duo's name. On paper it must seem like a waste to split his time between field work and the engineering corp. But the way Duo spoke about working with the engineers, the animated way he reminisced about working on his Gundam, working with Howard, and modifying his last bike, captivated him.

"You know, it's a good thing I'm not intimidated by men with more power than me."

"Huh?"

He poked Duo in his side.

"You! You leave your official Preventers position my equal partner, and you return outranking everyone in the Earth Sphere. And I'd bet you earn more than me."

Embarrassment trickled onto Duo's features as he processed what was just said.

"Aw, Ro! I mean. It's not like I'm better than you or anythin like that! I'm really not. Far from it. It's just—"

"Duo?"

"Yes?"

"Let me enjoy this."

"Huh?"

He reached a hand to brush Duo's bangs away from his face.

"Let me enjoy your success."

Duo's nose wrinkled and he backed away a little from him.

"Do you have some kind of kink I'm unaware of?"

Heero was... lost.

"You over here gettin off on the idea of being with your superior at work? Or like, the thought that you'd be considered my arm candy because even with my pay cut I make more? Or like—"

Heero's rich laughter shut him up.

"Duo, will you just let me be happy that the organization I devote my time and energy to has the brains to understand and recognize how amazing you are?" Duo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, and Heero couldn't help his lingering smile. "But I do enjoy whenever you best me." He crept a little closer to Duo, who was still pouting, or in Heero's eyes was pretending to. "It's nice, you know? To not always be the best." He leaned slowly towards Duo. "To not always be on top. To sometimes be second to you. To be reminded how you're more than capable of dominating me—"

A hand was planted into his face, and it gently shoved him away.

"Aren't we going somewhere, hot shot? Don't get horny on me if you don't have time to deliver."

Heero dramatically sighed, and noted the amusement glimmering in Duo's eyes when he did. He knew that before working on himself it would be nearly impossible for him to express emotions in such a way, and he'd enjoy seeing all of Duo's reactions to him as they got increasingly comfortable with one another.

"I don't need that long to follow through, you know."

"Heero!"

"But you might. I know you're fond of dragging things out when you're in charge, not that I mind."

"Oh god—"

Duo looked incredibly embarrassed, and he pounced on that.

"Yes, that's what I was hoping you'd have me screaming."

The redness of Duo's cheeks deepened and spread. Heero was positively delighted and encouraged. His voice dropped lower.

"And then? I'll return the favor, and draw it out as long as you like. Worship you like people worship that god we don't believe in."

Heero reached out and touched Duo's chest in the spot where he knew his cross was hidden beneath his shirt. It took several seconds for Duo to catch up and react.

"What the hell?" He backed away. "Have you been hanging out with Trowa too much? He's quiet, but you can tell he's hiding a bit of a perv inside and he'd probably real damn vocal about that." Heero chuckled, and Duo gained more confidence. "I don't wanna know what freaky shit he and Quatre get up to, but I bet he's not a good influence on you."

Duo's eyes widened when Heero ducked his head and snorted trying to stifle a laugh.

"Oh, I'm onto something there, aren't I? No! Don't tell me. I really mean it when I say I don't wanna know. And aren't we supposed to leave? Like right now-ish?"

There was no arguing that, and he'd had his fun. Further embarrassing Duo wouldn't get him any additional benefit right now.

"I guess we can head out. But we'll pick this up again later, okay?"

"That a promise, or a threat?"

"Both."

Duo's voice dropped into a sultry thing.

"Very hot, I like it." His hands came up to caress Heero's neck, and his proximity became downright dangerous. "Honestly, Ro? I've wanted a repeat of that great weekend since we came back to Earth but I've been a good boy, refraining from using sex as a distraction while my head's screwed up." Duo slid against him, slowly and purposefully, until he shuddered. "I know that was a problem of ours, me initiating sex that way, earlier in the year. And I'd rather be celibate a little while than jeopardize what we have."

Heero found himself pulled into a deep kiss, and he surrendered to it, allowing Duo complete control. He melted into his partner, relishing his taste and falling hard for Duo's display of possessiveness. Then, to his absolute disappointment, those warm lips were gone.

Duo pushed him away, shot up from the couch, and hurried towards the door to put on his shoes. He asked from the doorway "You gonna tell me where we're goin? Or am I gonna have to head out on my own and hope you find me?"

Heero stood to join him, willing his body to calm down and not succeeding like he hoped.

"We're going to my place."

Duo crossed his arms and shook his head. "Yeah, and you're gonna feed me while we're there. But after that what're we doing?"

Reaching around and past Duo to grab his shoes, Heero whispered "You'll see."

Duo was bouncing in the passenger seat for the entire short drive from Heero's place to Keiko's. It wasn't hard for him to guess what they were doing and where they were going when Heero brought out his Koto and grabbed his seldom used car keys. From that point on Duo's mouth was going a mile a minute, and Heero just listened to him with a smirk, providing no answers and knowing none were truly expected.

I really get to meet your teacher?

Did you ever tell me how many other students there are?

Does she know I'm coming with? Is she okay with that?

Do I look okay? Oh god I didn't even brush my hair today, this is the braid I slept in last night. How the hell could you let me leave to meet her like this? You knew exactly where we were going!

Heero wasn't compelled to answer any of Duo's ramblings until they pulled up at her home, and he felt a hand reach out and touch his arm.

"She's important to you, yeah?"

He nodded.

"What if she doesn't approve of me?"

With one question, what began as a last-minute idea to do something fun and introduce two people he cared about to each other became a much more serious endeavor. He hadn't considered the possibility of Duo worrying he wasn't going to be good enough in Keiko's eyes. If anything, he would've guessed that she'd tell him he wasn't good enough for Duo.

All the excitement he felt in his mind when he imagined introducing them, like people introducing parents they're on good terms with to a serious love interest, was replaced with the need to reassure.

"You're wonderful. She'll approve. And if she doesn't that only reflects her own shortcomings." When he didn't get much of a reaction he added "She's not as stupid as Relena. She'll love you."

He saw the tension ease out of his partner, and then Duo took a deep breath and got out of the vehicle. They were quiet as he grabbed his koto from the trunk and walked to Keiko's door. Her garden looked lovely on that summer evening, and Heero planned to bring Duo around to the back to see the koi pond before they left.

The way Duo stood behind him, shielding himself with both Heero and his koto, made it painfully obvious he was still nervous. For a moment Heero wanted to say something, but instead he rang the doorbell. If he knew Keiko at all, Duo's nervousness wouldn't last long.

"Heero!"

She called him name before she even opened the door, then flew at him and pulled him in an embrace that nearly caused him to lose hold of his instrument.

"You irresponsible jerk! You cancel on me because you've been shot and then you show up like nothing happened at all! No call, no text, just here at my door!" She pulled away, but her hands lingered on his arms. Her eyes were shining. "How are you, my boy?" A hand came up to hold his cheek, and Heero felt his throat tighten when she referred to him as her boy. "Are you all right? I was so worried but I didn't want to overwhelm you with questions!"

"I'm okay. I promise. I've recovered well."

"You better have! Because—" her words cut short as her eyes drifted beyond his shoulder and fixed on the man standing behind him.

"Duo? Is that Duo?"

Heero nodded and took a small step to the side so she could get a better view. Duo gave a crooked grin that appeared inviting but was really to mask his anxiety. He held up a hand to offer a small wave. Keiko rushed forward to envelop him in a hug. Heero found himself biting his lip to keep from smiling too broadly when Duo's terrified eyes landed on his above Keiko's head.

"I'm so happy to meet you!" She hugged him tighter before pulling back. It surprised them both to see her wipe some tears from her face. "With everything Heero's said, and not said over the last couple of years, because you certainly know how quiet our Heero can be... You were my favorite person I'd never met."

She smiled widely at Duo, praised him for being so very handsome, and caused him to blush. For Heero it was a perfect moment. This woman, who filled a maternal role for him, was gifting an experience as close to something normal as he'd get. He could hold down a job and be a productive member of society and even work out a loving romantic relationship, but he couldn't control his lack of family. And now, like Duo piecing one together with Wufei, he truly felt he'd built his own.

"Please! Come inside and make yourself at home! I'll put on some tea." She turned to Heero. "You're going to be here a while because we have catching up to do and I have so very much I want to talk to Duo about. I hope you didn't have plans for later." Her dark eyes lit up. "I hope Duo likes sweets!" She turned to the braided man. "Do you like sweets? Because I have just the right dessert for this occasion! Have you heard of the Mille-feuille Icy Horizon?"

Heero stood back and watched as she led Duo into her home, the two of them excitedly discussing whatever new confectionery Keiko kept on hand for one of her special occasions. With a contented sigh he put out his foot to stop the door from shutting and picked up his koto. They were all in for a wonderful evening.

After breaking into tea and sweets first, Keiko suggested they play the original duet of Midnight Rain for Duo. What Heero didn't expect was to look up at the end of the song and see tears streaming down Duo's face. Keiko understood, but he panicked. It took reassurances from both Duo and Keiko for him to understand those were happy tears and not sad ones. Duo thanked them both, and told them he felt incredibly loved listening to them play for him.

He thought the tears were over for the evening until Keiko spoke up.

"You are incredibly loved, Duo. Our Heero has stars in his eyes when he so much as thinks of you. The moment he came to my door after you returned, I knew exactly what changed. You brighten his soul, dear. He adores you. And so do I."

Keiko ended up hugging Duo, gently wiping his tears, and ordering Heero to make more tea. By the time he returned, he found two of his favorite people smiling together and trading stories about him.

Soon after their second round of tea, Keiko tried her best to get Duo to play some simple koto parts, and it went not quite as poorly as expected. They laughed as Duo complained about the strings digging into his fingertips. They smiled when Duo verbally realized just why Heero's hands were a bit more calloused than usual. Duo and Keiko even teamed up to poke fun at him for his casual references to his injuries, and how mean it was for him to leave her wondering what happened after simply texting Can't come to my lesson. I've been shot.

Duo assured her that if there was ever another time Heero got injured on the job, he would keep her fully informed and not slight her in the least.

"You're one of us," he said "and you should know what's going on."

They even exchanged phone numbers, which was both heartwarming and terrifying in Heero's eyes.

She gave them a moment to head out back and enjoy the koi pond together. Upon their return inside, Duo officially declared his intention to help Heero winterize her garden in a few months. It all felt idyllic and Heero couldn't have been happier, even as they said goodbyes and walked back to his vehicle with Duo carrying his koto.

"Want to come back to my place?"

"Nah, I think I'm just gonna crash at home. But don't think I've forgotten your request for me to dominate you." They laughed, and it was an easy thing. Nothing awkward, just comfort with each other.

"You know for all the work I did to allow myself some emotional vulnerability with our friends, I was never able to allow myself physical vulnerability with anyone other than you."

Duo stopped cold, partway to the vehicle.

"Really?" Heero nodded, still walking. "I just kinda assumed you had, when you dated around."

It was Heero's turn to freeze. When he didn't make to turn around, Duo understood he might just be panicking. It wasn't like they'd talked about the time they spent apart and who they may have slept with. Catching Heero off guard probably wasn't the kindest thing he could do. Quickly, he rushed over to his side so Heero could look him in the eyes and understand his honesty.

"Hey, it's not a big deal. We weren't even together. I left, remember? I had no claim on you."

"How'd you know?"

The worry in Heero's voice was sweet. It was so very obvious he was concerned he'd hurt him, and Duo had to stop himself from smiling, lest it be misinterpreted.

"Does it matter, Ro? You did nothing wrong. We're here together now and we're way better than we were before."

"But isn't it betrayal if I was still in love with you, but slept with other people?"

No amount of willpower could stop Duo from smiling at that. Misinterpretations be damned, he was gonna smile at that.

"You were still in love with me?"

Heero frowned, but it wasn't full force.

"You're focusing on the wrong thing, Duo."

"No, I'm not. I'm focusing on the only part that matters." His smile grew. "You were in love with me the whole time, even when you were angry and hurt over me disappearing on you? Like the whole time? I heard you were going out with a whole series of people as a diversion and that you didn't seem fond of any of them, but I didn't realize you were in love with me then! I kinda assumed it came and went with your anger."

Heero's brows came together and his eyes got intense. The small frown stayed.

"Of course I was in love with you the whole time. How could I ever forget what we had? What we could've had, if I'd been a little different."

"We. If we'd been a little different." Duo lifted the koto and began to walk again. Heero followed. "I know it wasn't easy on either of us, but I'm glad for everything that happened while we were apart. Those experiences let us grow. And without that growth, we wouldn't be so solid today, yeah?"

Heero unlocked the trunk and opened it so Duo could lay the instrument flat. As he closed the trunk, he reached over and pulled Duo close for a quick kiss.

"You're a smart man, Duo Maxwell. You're smart, you're intuitive, and I'm glad you came here with me today."

Heero smiled and turned towards the driver's door. Duo remained where he was, grinning, until he snapped out of it and hurried to the passenger's side. The smile was still in his eyes as they settled into their seats. He glanced over to Heero as he put his belt on.

"Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time, and I'm looking forward to seeing Keiko again. She's a hoot."

"She is."

"She loves you."

Heero silently smiled, and Duo saw in that expression just how much it meant to him, getting that kind of confirmation. He hadn't said a whole lot about Keiko before, but Duo wasn't obtuse. The way his partner's tone shifted when speaking of her was all he needed to know for certain the kind of comfort and belonging she gifted him.

"She loves you a lot."

Heero smiled more broadly.

"Thanks."

"Just pointing out the obvious, babe."

"Babe?"

Duo stretched out in his seat, testing his limbs before shrugging.

"Sometimes I use English, ¿verdad?"

Heero just chuckled.

After they arrived at Duo's and said goodnight, Heero took a moment to pull out his phone while he watched his partner walk into the building. He heard the device vibrate when he was driving but couldn't check it earlier. To no surprise there was a single text from Keiko.

Marry him if he'll let you.

He drove home feeling excellent, not caring at all that the ridiculous grin he sported was beginning to hurt his face.

Duo, meanwhile, took the stairs in an effort to get home just a little later. He walked slowly down the hall and took his time to fish out his keys. Once inside, he deliberately eased the door shut as gently as he could. As if on cue, when the door softly clicked his face relaxed into a deep frown. He silently toed off his shoes before taking a few steps and collapsing into his armchair. He slid low, his body curving into a terrible posture he didn't care to correct.

Time escaped him. Instead of going to sleep, or doing anything at all of consequence, he just listened to his own breathing, to the sound of the air running, to the tinnitus in his ears, and to the very faint sounds of traffic from the street below. Eventually his heartbeat became almost painful, and his jaw began to clench. In response, he picked up his phone and made a voice call he'd been avoiding.

"Elise? Yeah. It's Duo. How is everyone?" He listened to her discuss the children, their temporary accommodations courtesy of Quatre's endless funds, and all the ways they were finding to move forward, together. Someone let it slip that Hilde wasn't her benefactor, during the time between the fire and the next time they spoke. Ever since she'd been even more kind to him. He knew it wasn't out of obligation or guilt. It was because he went from a personable middleman doing a job she thought he was hired to do, to a man who risked everything for her and the kids. He kind of hated it. He liked it better when he was more disconnected, and when she talked about Hilde as though she was still alive.

Then, even though he expected it, he was horrified when Elise asked how he was doing.

She waited patiently for his response, as though she had an inkling what he was going to say and wanted him to have the breathing room to say it in his own time. It was that background in therapy and counseling coming to light. The background he was sure proved incredibly useful to her and the children after everything that happened.

"He said I'll always be a killer." She didn't need to ask who he was. "He said I'll always destroy everything in my path. And I don't usually put too much weight to the words of someone like him but..."

His head hung low, and he was sure she knew it, even though the call was audio only.

"Do you think... that by trying to help, after Hilde's death, I made everything worse? I've been wondering. I can't stop thinking... Do you think... I ruin lives?"