It was a sin to fall in love with him.

Wasn't it?

People loved talking, a little gossip here and there out in public. She would be lying if she said that she didn't eavesdrop through some of it.

Killer, killer, killer...

His name would be next to that word whenever those people spoke of him.

And the shock would rush across her body, forcing her to slowly backtrack the meaning of those words clearly, fixing them into a sentence that sent a horrendous chill down her spine.

Shadow the Hedgehog. A killer.

Knuckles was still at work when she came home from doing the grocery shopping. She snuck into his room, remembering that he usually had a stack of old newspapers tucked away underneath his bed.

She rummaged through countless of newspapers until her eyes landed on the one she was hoping she wouldn't find.

'TROUBLE AT WESTOPOLIS. THE BLACK ARMS KILLING MULTIPLE TROOPS.'

And then a picture of Shadow was right underneath it.

Tikal stared at it, unable to register what she was exactly reading for a moment.

And then a tremble on her grip awoken.

No...

Her eyes quickly flickered over to another newspaper that was buried under it.

'BLACK ARMS SAVES THE EARTH.'

However, she only look at it with a blank expression. It was meant to cause some relief in her, some hope that he wasn't like that anymore. Some confirmation.

Yet, the image of him pulling the trigger on someone had rotten itself into her head and it was too late to take it back.

The article slipped out of her hand and Tikal took deep breaths, looking down at the sweat forming against her palms.

Fear.

But why?

Stop it! She berated herself hastily. He's changed! They've given him a second chance! Everyone... deserves a second chance...

Sonic and the others wouldn't have accepted him if he was who he'd been back then. He wouldn't have been accepted to work at the G.U.N if he was still like that.

...Was it still right to fall in love with him?

Fighting was wrong, yet Tikal never stopped Knuckles from punching anyone or anything that threatened the Master Emerald. She didn't stop Sonic when he turned super to defeat Chaos, causing utter havoc in the city.

But... Killing. Killing people. It reminded her of her days back at the tribe, and how her father-

She swallowed tightly, blinking back tears at the horrible memory.

That was a millennia ago. Times have changed and people forgive.

Tikal always believed her heart was in the right place. She wished no harm to anyone and her main objective was to always help the vulnerable, to listen to them, to speak with them...

Was she just naive though? She passed so long ago and when she came back the first time, everything was different. Knuckles had been the last living echidna and while he was protective of the Master Emerald, he was very laid back compared to the guardians before him.

These days she learned, forced marriages were illegal and falling in love with anyone was the common approach to start a relationship.

Was it right? Was it still right to have romantic feelings for Shadow? Despite the things he had done? Despite going against her beliefs of killing people in his past?

It was... hypocritical of her, to say the least. So many men at the tribe were in love with her, yet after acknowledging the fact that they had only thirst for death, she did not dare to bat an eye at them no matter how much empathy they demanded from her.

What made Shadow so different was that he stopped, but she didn't know the reason why he did or what made him. It must've been personal... and she didn't want to tread that path so blindly.

Would it be enough? Enough of a reason to be in love with the hedgehog? Her heart wanted to say yes, but the dark echo of thoughts still lingered at the back of her head.

No. Don't let it get to you. Don't be weak against it. Everyone changes.

She wasn't there with her father anymore. She was in modern day Station Square with her only family and new friends.

As long as she didn't overthink- or pry, she should be fine with herself. Fine to accept, heal and move on. Fine to not care.

She hoped.

...

"Thank you for coming," Tikal said to the customer with a kind smile.

When the customer left, Tikal wiped the sweat off of her forehead with a towel before she began cleaning up the counter top.

"Tikal?"

She jerked forward and quickly flickered her eyes towards Amy. "Y-Yes?"

It'd been a few days after her little incident and she barely spoke a word to anyone today. After that night, Amy decided it was best for her not to come in until she was better. While Tikal wanted to insist, her tears got the better of her and she had no choice but to comply. If she cried so openly like that to Amy and Sonic, she couldn't imagine doing so in front of customers. Today, there were a few close calls but she thought that some of them were polite enough not to say anything.

Maybe she needed to spend some time near the Master Emerald. Before she came into work, Knuckles suggested she should rest up with it but Tikal insisted she would be okay. Now it was an idea she was craving to get to. The green gem gave her the most comfort, along with sitting next to Knuckles talking about their ancestry whenever he asked to know more.

Chaos must be laughing at her right now. She wondered what he would say about this predicament she was in.

She definitely needed some sleep, there was a lack of it for the past week. Her eyes were most definitely swollen. A headache was coming on as well, she might have caught the flu.

Amy had been concerned for the entire day and looked like she wanted to talk about what happened. There was so much worry in the pink hedgehog's eyes that Tikal's heart swelled at the sight of it. Bless Amy, bless her whole heart. She knew that that she would comfort her if anything was wrong but... Tikal wasn't ready for her to know the reasoning just yet. She wasn't ready to talk about it with, well, anyone.

She wouldn't even know where to start, and she was sure she'd stop mid-way and then try to fumble her way out of the topic.

It was pathetic, really. Amy was only just looking out for her and here she was pushing her away. Everything was just so... difficult. She wished she had the confidence like her friend, but Tikal found it hard to explain her feelings and experiences. She was mostly a private person and her vulnerability weakened her choice of wordings.

Amy threw a warm, understanding smile at her. "Do you want me make you some tea? With honey? You look a little cold."

"Oh," Tikal trailed her eyes over to the mini clock, seeing that it was just thirty minutes before closing time. She looked back at Amy with a nervous smile. "O-Okay, thank you."

When she sat opposite Amy on one of the tables, she thanked her again for the tea and drank it slowly, the heat of it almost soaring against her throat as she swallowed.

"Sonic managed to interview a bunch of people today," Amy said, attempting to start a conversation between them, "We had a lot of people apply so it'd make sense for someone like him to speed through it, huh?" She laughed, "We should be good to go starting from Monday."

"That's great," Tikal responded, trying her best to genuinely sound happy, "I'm glad that you're giving people an opportunity to work here, Amy. I'm sure they'll love it."

She inwardly flinched at the monotone in her voice and hunched her shoulders. "I-"

"Tikal."

The echidna steadily looked at Amy, guilt washing over her face. "I'm sorry."

Amy sighed before shaking her head, concern in her gaze. "No. Don't apologise, okay?" She placed her hand on top of hers, "I won't force you to say anything until you're comfortable."

A brink of tears suddenly erupted from Tikal's eyes as she squeezed the hedgehog's hand. "Thank you, Amy."

"You're welcome, Tikal," Amy smiled at her, "Maybe you do need some time with the Master Emerald? Knuckles called up earlier asking about it. When was the last time you were with it?"

"Quite a while ago," she said and sipped on her tea again, "But yes. I had been thinking the same thing."

"Do you think it'll help?"

Tikal bit the corner of her lip. "I would like to think so."

It would help, most definitely. However, the emerald could only do so much as calm her down, not with... dealing something like this. This was only something she could overcome herself and it would be shameful to use the Master Emerald as an escaping point from all of it. It was there for actual purposes, not for some hope to wish if it was okay to still be in love with Shadow despite his past, certainly not to wish for some fantasy to gain the confidence to speak to him.

Tikal overthought a lot and her anxiety about it didn't help either. When she found those newspapers, she used the paper shredder Knuckles had to get rid of them and it helped... sort of.

She tried not to let it get to her, berating herself for letting her thoughts get out of control. She tried not to make it obvious to Knuckles that she was fighting with herself in her head, but he caught on at the dinner table. She made it clear to him that everything was fine, that she was feeling a little poorly because of the weather and he seemed to have accepted her answer, albeit, looking hesitant.

She knew she had to talk about it with someone soon. Knuckles wasn't the best when it came to the romantic department though. She loved him with all her heart, but he was so dense about Rouge's feelings for him that it was almost aggravating to see them argue all the time. There was humour in it, she would become amused at how they'd argue about the tiniest of things but she hoped it would dwindle once Knuckles finally realises. Maybe she should give him a push.

Amy though, she would understand. She would get her feelings.

Her and Sonic weren't dating, but it looked like it was getting there. Slowly, but surely. Amy was very much still in love with Sonic, though has been more restrained about showcasing them in front of everyone and even in front of the blue hedgehog himself.

"Honestly," Amy's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, "We seriously need to go shopping together, Tikal! Like have a girl's night out, y'know?"

"Really?" Tikal fiddled with her cup and sent Amy a smile, "I'm not the best with clothes..."

"I can help you out in that department," she laughed, "I won't go too crazy with you though. We'll take a look around the mall and you can see if there's anything you like. I won't pester you at all!"

"Thank you, Amy. I really appreciate that. When would you like to go?"

"Well, it's Thursday today," Amy hummed, "We close up early tomorrow so we can go right after? But that's only if you're not becoming sick, Tikal."

Tikal blinked, slowly bringing her hand up to her face to feel that it was warmer than usual. "O-Oh, right..."

"Don't worry," she shook her head and gave her a comforting smile, "We can always reschedule if it doesn't work out!"

Nodding, Tikal appreciated Amy's gratitude again. The truth was that they were most likely going to have to postpone it. At least, whenever Tikal was ready to tell Amy what exactly was wrong with her.

She trusted Amy, so she deserved to know. She really deserved to know.

She needed time. Just time.

"I'll go put these away," Amy said, standing up before taking a hold of their empty cups. Tikal thanked her, watching the pink hedgehog disappear from her frame.

She stood up herself, staring down at her hand that was shaking. Tikal closed her eyes. Get a grip. She breathed in and then out, reopening her eyes as she started to clean the tables.

Tikal placed the empty tea cups onto the tray, trying not to get distracted over her thoughts.

She was definitely going to get an early night's rest. Her headache wasn't seem to be going either.

Just as she lifted the tray filled cups, the sound of the front door chimed. When she spun her head around ready to greet the customer, everything in her body shook still.

He had his eyes on the door for a moment as it closed behind him before he looked over to her.

And the grip Tikal had on the tray disappeared, the cups dropping and breaking onto the floor with a loud crash.

"Tikal?!" Amy's voice sounded from the back.

Her heart was racing at a dangerous- furious, speed.

Shadow continued to have his eyes locked onto her, until they slowly trailed down at the mess she made.

Almost robotic, Tikal quickly knelt down to pick up the broken pieces but hissed when her fingers scratched the sharp ends of the cups. Though, she ignored it and kept quickly trying to resolve her situation.

"You're bleeding." He also knelt down in front of her.

Tikal froze, her body growing rigid once again.

He was talking to her. He was talking to her.

Slowly, she saw his hand reaching up to her own.

But her mind suddenly went spiralling out of control.

Killer, killer, killer...

He's a killer.

"No!"

Tikal snatched her hand away at an erratic speed, shooting her eyes up at him as she started to give out laboured breaths.

No, no, no...

She wasn't supposed to be thinking like this!

Her breathing became heavier as she laid her hands on either side of her head, thinking she was hyperventilating.

Shadow was actually startled by her abrupt move and pulled back just as quickly, his eyes automatically searing into her own with surprise and a flash of- hurt?

It made her heart feel so heavy and so... horrible.

"Tikal!" Amy rushed to her aid, collapsing down on her knees as she held the echidna's hand, "Oh, Chaos! Sonic, can you bring the first aid kit!" The hedgehog called across the café, "Goodness, Tikal! I leave you alone for a few minutes and you've already hurt yourself!"

Sonic had come back with the treatment and Amy quickly applied ointment on her hand. Tikal didn't pay attention to the sting on her fingers as she continued to shake, unable to control herself. She stared at Shadow, tears falling down her face as there were jitters sounding against her breaths.

Slowly and steadily, the realisation came over his face. A frown thinned against his lips and he averted his gaze away before standing up.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...

"Hi, Shadow," Amy said as she was done wrapping a bandage over the echidna's hand, "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"No," Shadow responded, the discomfort sounding in his voice. He steadied his eyes down at her again and Tikal only looked away, too weak to see how uncomfortable he looked during the entire mess, "I'll just come back tomorrow."

When he left, there was just silence, save for Sonic's sweeping the broken bits of glass.

Tikal exhaled, trying her best to fan off her tears with her free hand. Though, it didn't help her heart rate as it was beating so quickly against her chest from the embarrassment and panic.

"Tikal?"

She met Amy's worried eyes, sniffling away her tears as the pink hedgehog continued to observe her.

Then it was like something had... clicked, in Amy's eyes as she looked ahead at the front door where Shadow had left before shifting her gaze back at her.

Tikal only pressed her lips, hunching her shoulders as she prepared for a scolding.

However Amy only let out a quiet laugh, confusing her greatly. "Come on, let's get you packed up," she said, gently bringing Tikal to her feet, "Since you're sick, I'll let you off for the rest of the week or however long you need."

"But-"

"It's fine, Tikal " Amy reassured her with an understanding smile, "Let me just get your coat and Sonic will take you home, okay?"

Tikal didn't say anything else as she watched Amy walk off to the back. She swallowed harshly, glancing down at her hand as she momentarily closed her eyes.

All she saw could imagine were Shadow's. How painful they were to see when he was able register her fear so quickly.

She ran her free hand down her face, wiping off the sweat against her forehead.

She definitely needed some sleep.