Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening or any of the songs I parody/use here, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Boxer (Pugilist), Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Middle Age, Wyvern Rider, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Foreign, Future sight, Tiny, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Amazon, Genderfluid, Gift from Validar + evil to good, Mind Control, Banshee, Dancer, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, POW, PTSD, Magician, Mute, Savage, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Crazy, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Motherly, Twins, Regenerating, Animal Whisperer, Naga/Tiki Assistant, Sleepless, Plant, Fairy, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Umbramancer, Horror Monster, Detective, No Sense of Personal Space, Shota, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Assassin, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Maid/Servant/Butler, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Ninja, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Elder God, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Geokinetic, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Arachne, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Future Vision, Serial Killer, Pervert, Stalker, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre.
Other: Pokemon Trainer, Self-insert, Second Generation replacement, Dimensional Walker, Cycle, Fates.
Lich Robin, requested by a guest. I'll leave it to you if I gave this quirk the proper treatment. It's very much like Risen Robin, so I mostly used it as an excuse to write fluff, but the entire revival mechanic is relevant.
If you had asked Chrom five months ago what he thought a lich looked like, he probably would have said something along the lines of a skeletal mage held together by dark magic, and evil to their core…
...and not a short, dark-skinned, black and fuzzy haired, perfectly nice girl who is primarily a healer. Chrom is talking about Robin of course, and while she is a lich (she literally keeps her phylactery in a box next to her bed) you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at her that she's undead or technically a few hundred years old.
Well, Robin assumes she's a few hundred years old. Her amnesia makes it a bit of a blank spot, but Maribelle of all people managed to date Robin's cloak (which is too new to be as old as she is. The style is what Maribelle is dating. on the assumption that Robin's former self got the same cloak made every time) to about four to five hundred years ago, so Robin just assumes she's four hundred and fifty.
That four hundred years of knowledge doesn't get brought up too often, but it shows in Robin's incredible breadth of medical know-how.
"Chrom, stay still."
This is not one of those situations. "I'm trying Robin."
"Stop squirmin', do ya want this to go wrong?"
Chrom is just trying to distract himself from what he knows is going to happen. "No…"
"Stay still then. This'll take a few minutes." She scolds. "I've already numbed yer shoulder, calm down."
The prince forces himself to be still as the girl grabs his forearm and elbow, and starts to slowly rotate his arm around the shoulder and gives a series of small tugs at various points. Chrom can still feel a few lances of pain, despite the potent numbing powers of the sleep root paste that was applied a minute ago.
Unfortunately magic staves can only fix tears and breaks and such. They reconstruct injured muscles and bones, but they don't put them back in place. Dislocations have to be dealt with the old fashioned way. Additionally, staves can sometimes heal skin and muscles and bones improperly if the joints are out of place, resulting in the medic having to cut improperly healed muscles and skin to move joints back into place. All medics, even Lissa, carry around a sharpened knife for this purpose exactly.
Thankfully Robin doesn't have to use the knife in this case. It's a dislocated shoulder, not an improperly healed shoulder. Chrom just hates that the heal staff can't be used here, because it's almost completely painless. Sleep root is effective, it's the most powerful anesthetic and numbing agent the medical community is aware of, but it's not magic
Chrom doesn't feel it when his arm pops back into its socket. He only realizes this because Robin has stopped moving it around. She reaches for her staff and finally heals up the torn muscles from the dislocated shoulder.
"There we go. Done." She sighs. "You and Vaike go waaay too hard Chrom. It's just sparring."
"Hey, Vaike is the one who dislocated my shoulder." Chrom grumbles.
"Then don't spar with him."
"Then he complains."
"Oh no." Robin rolls her eyes. "How ever will he survive?"
Chrom smirks. "He can't. That's why I keep indulging him."
"Ha ha." The girl sighs. "Alright, get gone. I have work to do. Next time go bug Lissa."
"But Lissa mocks me, and you're nice." Chrom says cheekily. "And who wouldn't want to get patched up by a cute girl who isn't their sister?"
If Robin wasn't undead, she's fairly sure she'd be blushing. "Sure, and what's the real reason?"
"Lissa's back at the castle, and you're here in the barracks. You're way closer."
"Okay, fair enough."
###
Chrom sees it happen from the corner of his eye. The spear-wielding brigand sticks his weapon straight through Robin's chest. The girl staggers when the spear is pulled out of her; she weakly tries to shoot Thunder at her assailant but only a few sparks come out. She falls backwards onto the grass, unmoving.
The prince immediately disengages his own fight by kicking his foe in the chest. He charges headlong at the brigand with the spear, ignoring the other brigands he has to weave through to get there. With a roar he crashes into the offending man and impales him through the chest. Poetic justice wasn't high on Chrom's list of concerns, but the prince feels some grim satisfaction in dealing the man the same wound he gave to Robin.
Chrom then quickly moves to Robin's side and kneels next to her. He gently holds her head with one hand while moving her cloak aside with the other to inspect the wound.
"Chrom." The girl rasps. "I'm fine."
"You took a spear through the chest! That's not fine!" Chrom says in a panic. "Don't move, I'll get Lissa."
"Don't-" She coughs. Rather than spitting up blood, she expels a small cloud of black smoke. "Don't b-bother. I'll be gone by then."
"No you won't! Gods, that's not fine Robin!"
"Calm down." She says, and then coughs again. "I'll revive in like t-two days ya goof."
"Oh! Oh…" Chrom says, feeling supremely foolish. "Right. You're a lich."
"Y-Yep." She says and closes her eyes. Dark smoke is starting to bleed from her chest wound and every time she speaks she's expelling a sizable cloud of it. "G-Grab my stuff would you?"
Robin goes limp a moment after, and her body dissipates into black smoke and leaves her equipment and belongings behind. Chrom takes a moment to breathe and stop the pounding of his heart. "Grab my stuff will you? Gods, what pathetic last words." He jokes quietly. The prince scoops up Robins stuff in both arms and quickly navigates his way off the battlefield to drop it with Emmet, who raises an eyebrow at him. "Just… put it in Robin's room when we get back. Also, get the clothes repaired."
"Sure." The quartermaster says.
Chrom redraws Falchion and makes his way back to the battlefield. His adrenaline is still pumping, and he takes his frustration out on the rest of the brigands.
###
Being dead is boring.. Robin sees nothing but darkness for hours and hours until she revives, with nothing to do but wait and think.
Well, that's usually how it is. See, when a lich is 'dead' their soul actually goes back to their phylactery, and they see and hear through it until their body is remade. Robin was fully expecting nothing to happen until she revived, but she didn't count on Chrom still being and over-emotional dork.
The box containing her phylactery is picked up, and Robin can hear deep breathing from the other side. The lock clicks and the box opens, and sunlight pours into Robin's vision blocked somewhat by Chrom looking in on her.
Chrom for his part just sees a well-cut but otherwise unremarkable ruby. Carefully he reaches into the box and extracts the gem, handling it with care. The prince stares down at the gem in his hands. This thing is Robin's life, and it looks so fragile even though Chrom knows rubies are hardly frail.
"You're really okay?" Chrom whispers and rubs his thumb over the gem's surface. "I mean, I've never seen this happen before. I'm nervous. I know it's only been a day and you said two, but… I don't know. I saw you die, I think I'm in my right to be worried."
The prince glares right at the gem, totally unaware that Robin can actually see and hear him.
"You owe me for all this stress." He says jokingly to the gem. "And you better be thankful I'm doing all your paperwork for you!"
The prince sighs and relaxes a bit. He really just came here to vent his fears.
"Ah, I'm being foolish." He mutters. "See you tomorrow Robin. Don't keep us waiting."
He puts the gem back in the box, carefully locks it, and puts the key back in it's hidden compartment on the the bottom of the box. Robin's vision fades to black, and when Chrom's footsteps fade from her hearing she's left without stimulus once again.
###
"Chrom, I'm-"
The girl is cut off by the prince throwing himself across the room and pulling her into a hug. She's lifted nearly a foot off the ground due to the height difference between herself and Chrom.
"Good ta see ya too." She squeaks in surprise. The girl gives a weak wave to Frederick who is also in the room, and the man nods back at her.
"Don't you dare do that again." The prince growls.
"Well, it didn't exactly plan ta…" Robin had intended to be snarky, but she trails off when she sees Chrom's intense expression. "Sorry." She says meekly instead. "I was caught off guard, I was focusin' on Sumia because she was takin' on two people at once."
"That is no excuse." Frederick admonishes. "We expect better in the future."
Robin nods weakly in response. "O' course, sorry." Chrom puts her back down, and she quickly fixes her coat while trying to hide her embarrassment. "So, uh, Chrom…"
"Yes?"
"What do I owe ya?"
"Pardon?" The prince blinks.
"Yoa said I owed yoa for the stress." Robin clarifies. "I mean, I assume that was a joke, but-"
"You heard that?!" Chrom says in shock.
"Uh, yeah. I can hear and see through my phylactery when mah body is gone."
"You should have told me!" Chrom says insistently. "It must be horrible!"
"Well it's sorta borin'-"
"I won't allow that to happen again." The prince says intensely. "I'll find a way to keep you entertained next time."
"That really ain't necessary."
"Irrelevant." Chrom huffs. "If there is something I can do to help, I will do it."
"Oh, well…" Robin is a bit flustered. "Thanks?"
"Milord, I hate to interrupt." Frederick murmurs. "But the Exalt requested our presence as soon as Robin was restored."
"Right, right." Chrom sighs. He still looks a bit antsy. "Lead the way Frederick."
The knight raises an eyebrow at the odd request, but does as he's asked. He steps out of the room first, and Robin moves to follow but is stopped by Chrom planting an arm against the doorframe in front of her.
The prince leans over her. It would almost be intimidating if his expression weren't so earnest and concerned. That said, he's still a good foot taller than her so his presence is rather overpowering for Robin at the current moment.
"You had me worried you know." Chrom breathes quietly. "I saw you take a spear to the chest, and even if I knew you'd be alright afterwards I couldn't get it out of my mind."
"Really?" Robin responds in a whisper. If she weren't undead she imagines she'd have goosebumps up her arms right now and a blush on her face. Her mind at the very least is moving at an all-out sprint trying to process the situation. "Well sorry for the stress."
"Next time you should stay close to me." Chrom says in a low rumble as he stares her right in the eye. "I'll keep you safe."
"Strategy don't always allow for that Chrom." The girl says. She's fighting to keep her voice even, though the way she's slightly leaning back probably gives away her nervous excitement. "I 'preciate the sentiment."
"Then change your strategy." The prince urges. "I want to protect you."
There's silence as Robin processes that declaration. Her hands grasp her cloak tightly, her feet shift on the floor, and her eyes flick from Chrom's to the wall and back to him.
Frederick's voice is what breaks the pause. "Milord?"
"Coming Frederick." Chrom says without moving. In a quiet voice he says to Robin. "And you are fine? Nothing is wrong?"
"O' course." She breathes.
"Alright then." He pulls back so he's not leaning over her. "Let's go."
Chrom leaves the room, and Robin takes a moment to compose herself. It's not everyday she gets a declaration of protection like that… well, this might be the only such declaration she's ever gotten. It's not like she remembers anything past six months ago.
She shakes her head vigorously, and then steps out into the hall with the others. Frederick raises an eyebrow at seeing her hair all messy, and shoots a question glance at his liege, but says nothing and leads the way.
###
"He's treating me like a child…" Robin huffs as she parries the strike sent her way.
"I beg to differ." Frederick mutters. "You foot is too far forwards, your wrist is too twisted."
Robin quickly fixes the issues the knight pointed out. "Frederick, he literally carried me 'cross the battlefield because I gotta scratch."
"Indeed; and if he thought you a child he would never have allowed you on the field of battle in the first place." The knight says. He suddenly kicks at her shin, and she backsteps to avoid it. "That was an opportunity to counterattack. Stay alert."
"What is it then Frederick?" The girl asks. She tentatively stabs at the man with her sword and draws back when the knight brings his practice lance around in a wide swing.
"And here I though no one could be more dense than Milord himself." Frederick sighs. "You are hundreds of years old, how is it you cannot see the obvious?"
"What? What's obvious?"
Frederick shakes his head. "After this, go ask Milord yourself."
"Fine…"
###
"Chrom!" The tactician calls to the Prince as she peers into his office. "Can I talk to ya?"
"Sure." The prince says and rises from his desk. "What is it?"
"I need to ask ya something…"
"What is it?"
"Why do ya treat me like a child now?" She huffs. "Seriously Chrom, ever since I revived that one time ya treat me like I'm glass. I'm undead, I can revive. That's the opposite of what ya should be doin' after ya find out someone can come back to life!"
"I do not treat you like glass." He says defensively. "I just don't want you to have to go through the revival process again…"
"I appreciate that, but seriously Chrom. I got a scratch and you carried me across the whole battlefield." The tactician scolds. "While ya had an arrow in your hip! I'm a healer, ya only had to stop for five seconds!"
"I was serious when I said I'd protect you." The man says stubbornly. "I'm a man of my word."
"You're a moron."
"You sound just like Lissa."
"Lissa must be more sensible than I thought."
Chrom takes two large steps forwards until he's standing a few inches away from her, looking down at her with a familiarly intense expression. "Robin."
"Chrom."
"I want to keep you safe."
"I assumed as much, and I'd hope that goes for all the Shepherds."
"It does, but you especially." Chrom says with absolute seriousness. "I care for you Robin."
The prince is intentionally not using the obvious term for what he feels. It's not that he doesn't know what he's feeling, he's very aware, it's that he has no idea what Robin thinks because her reactions tend to be very muted. Even now she's done little more than blink in mild surprise, and Chrom doesn't know if she's actually having such a minor reaction or if her emotions just aren't obvious to him.
"I see." She says. "I see… you're still a fool."
"I suppose I am."
"Ya really shouldn't put me above others."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"I can't help myself."
"Chrom… it sounds very much like ya have an obsession."
"I do, in a sense."
"What sense?"
"Are you going to make me say it Robin?" Chrom asks sharply.
"Say what?" Robin asks, genuinely confused. Chrom is giving her an intense look, and it's making her very nervous. "Chrom?"
"Gods Robin, I haven't exactly been subtle." The man groans. "What do you think?"
"Uh…" Robin's mind is racing. What is she missing? He's highly protective, a bit obsessed, overly concerned… "You're… lonely?"
Chrom's expression morphs into disbelief. "You're joking, right?"
"No?"
"Maybe this will clear things up." A hand goes around the back of Robin's head, and Chrom pulls her into a quick kiss.
Robin, of course, is busy panicking. Now that she realizes what this means, all of Chrom's actions seem so obvious. Gods, no wonder Frederick said she was dense! What does she do?!
"Okay, calm down, think." Robin tells herself as Chrom pulls away. She doesn't dislike this, so that's something. Chrom is a good person. She likes Chrom, even if he tends to overreact. It's endearing in a way. "I… uh…"
"Sorry for being so sudden." The prince says, and takes a few steps back from her. He's suddenly become conscious of the fact his stance might have been taken as intimidation rather than determination. "So, erm… I hope that makes things clear."
"You're in love with me." Robin squeaks. "Right?"
"Yes." Chrom says with absolute certainty.
The tactician swallows thickly. "Ya do remember I'm undead, right?"
"Yes."
"I'll be cold to the touch, I won't age alongside you, and I can't have kids." She warns.
"I know." Chrom says. "I've had time to think this through, and I don't care. Do you?"
That's the question, isn't it? Does she care? Is she open to a relationship with someone she knows will be temporary? That's she'll outlive by a long, long time?
Perhaps her reasoning is a bit pragmatic more than romantic, but she'd rather not be alone for the rest of her existence. That inevitably means she'll far outlive any companion, but… that's preferable to never having love at all. Besides, she could hardly ask for someone better than Chrom.
"I suppose I don't." She whispers. Robin gives the prince a nervous smile. "I'll admit I have no idea what ta expect here…"
"That's fine, neither do I to be honest." Chrom says with an easy grin. He extends a hand to her, which she takes. "We can figure it out. It will be fine. After all, Lissa tells me half the camp think we already have a relationship anyways."
"Wh-What?!"
"Apparently my overreaction on the battlefield didn't go unnoticed." The prince coughs sheepishly. "So I don't think we have to worry about others being opposed to us."
"That reminds me, you're going to have to stop treating me like glass on the battlefield! I can revive Chrom!"
"But then you won't be here." The prince huffs. He pulls her into a hug. "And I happen to like having you around."
"You're a dork Chrom."
"Love you too."
Robin hides her face in his chest from embarrassment. That is going to take some getting used to.
Like I said, not the most quirk-centric chapter, but the quirk isn't irrelevant either. Also, I think I've mentioned this before, but I have difficulty writing romance where the guy is the assertive one, so I hope I did it somewhat well this chapter.
Invisible Prince: She's a sadist. That's literally the only reason. If it weren't for that, I would be fine with her.
He probably will. It's just that I tend to do romance with Female Robin, and a kid tends to ruin the mood so I don't include him very often.
Yes, I have! You'll see that at some point. I'm trying to find a good chapter for it, but every attempt so far has either been boring, hard to balance that and the quirk, totally irrelevant, or definitely needs an M rating.
G: Okay, so what I'm hearing is: Phaseshift, Gravity Manipulation, Constant Hallucination, Soulbound Weapon, and Zombie. Is that about right?
Guest: How many double entendres do you think I can make up? I'll put it on the list though.
Wrathie Winsre: I suppose it could be seen as a bad stereotype, but that argument could also be made for Bow Knight Robin where someone could say "you made a gay character a jerk, that reflects badly on all gay people!" and it would mean I couldn't write gay characters except in a very specific way. So sure, maybe it is a stereotype, I don't know but I also don't care because it was fun to write him that way. The problem comes when people are actually stupid enough to believe stereotypes; and I can't do anything about stupid people, that's on them.
That example was something I remember from history class. I can't remember the exact battle, something from ancient Greece, but it's actually supposed to be used in a choke point.
Virion to me is that character that Robin would logically get along with because their both tacticians and while indeed a bit of a flirt, Virion is very much an honest and kind person. He's my go-to for when Robin needs a friend outside of Chrom.
What's wrong with Gaius? D:
I threw that scene in there just to show off how absurd Robin actually is. I see it had the desired effect. Also, that's not really a title so much as it is a quick description.
Eh, it happens. There are dry spells in the quality of fics that come out. I miss the days of when I was just getting into fanfic and I could binge the archive to find good ones. Now I've exhausted most of the good ones and have to wait for new good things to come out rather than looking for them.
Matchmaker? Huh, I've seen that in a few other fics, now that you mention it I'm surprised no one brought it up.
That's fair. I'm graced with a large amount of free time, so I can pump out chapters fairly regularly. It won't last forever though…
As mediocre as it was I actually like Replicate. Mostly because it's romance, also because it helped me flesh out my headcanon that Chrom's denseness is actually because his father was a terrible role model and drilled into his head the idea that he should never let women distract him from his job which naturally means Chrom has zero idea what to do in romantic situations, and is intensely self-repressed when it comes to physical attraction. So yeah, it was a mediocre chapter, but I love it.
Maybe. I can't say, I have no idea how that would go if I tried to write it.
The idea of having him be taken aback was supposed to be a moment of Emmeryn finally being the one to fluster Robin rather than the other way around. Also, it's a proposal; even the most stoic people can be caught off guard or overcome by emotion in regards to that. At least, that was my logic at the time.
Yeah, social media is a hassle…
I could try writing that at some point. I think 'ladies man Chrom' would just be straight OOC though, so maybe just not-stammering-mess Chrom and damsel in distress Robin.
Too bad! Tvtropes is life!
Glad to hear from you as always!
Cyberchao X: Hey there, you finally caught up? I've been reading your comments as you went through the chapters.
So first: I'll note down your idea (Gangrel's child), but it's a rather minor change so don't expect it to have the spotlight.
Second… you say "And now you see the problem that men have." as if I'm not male myself. :P Social expectations nowadays are a mess, social justice is taking five steps forward and five steps back at the same time, and NO ONE knows what's going on. I don't know what to tell you, I'm just as lost.
Jumping a bit to your earlier comments…
Ah, right, Manakete Robin. You're correct, she looks like a little girl (like Nowi). I see how that could be seen as disturbing. Shotacon and Lolicon tend to rub people the wrong way. My personal philosophy is that people can be into whatever they want so long as they're responsible in the real world. People have some strange kinks (like literal torture), but they're fully entitled to those interests as long as they keep their real-world actions acceptable.
Nothing else for me to say. Hope to keep hearing from you, and I hope you enjoyed most of the chapters.