Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Boxer (Pugilist), Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Wyvern Rider, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Wyvern Rider, Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Martial Artist, Scottish, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Paranoid, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Future sight, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Genderfluid, Gift from Validar + evil to good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, POW, PTSD, Magician, Mute, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Crazy, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Regenerating, Animal Whisperer, Naga/Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Umbramancer, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Attraction Aura, Ring Maker, Therapist, Teleporting, Crippled, Puppet, Broken, Hallucination, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Detective, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Assassin, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Future Vision, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Singer, Violent, Insane, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Singer, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Witch, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman.
Other: Second Generation replacement, Dimensional Walker, Cycle, Fates.
Mercenary, as suggested by Dragon Tag, and Pervert, as suggested Invisible Prince.
"Enjoying yourself?" Tharja asks dryly.
"Yep." Robin says with an unabashed grin. He's leaning against a rock as Tharja bends over to scrape moss off the rocks in the cave. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what he's looking at.
"You could help you know."
"You hired me for protection, not manual labour." Robin responds cheerily. "I don't have to do shit."
"True, I could also turn you inside out with my magic right now for your staring." Tharja snaps.
"But you won't." The mercenary chuckles. "You're not as scary as you pretend to be."
Robin doesn't even flinch when a flux impacts the stone just beside his face. If anything, his grin gets even bigger.
"See? All talk."
"I don't want to lose what I paid for. I can kill you later."
"Suuuure..." Robin teases. His brown eyes twinkle in amusement. "We'll go with that."
###
"Whoops, down we go." Robin says calmly as he pulls Tharja to the ground as an arrow slips by his ear. "And roll-" they roll, avoiding another arrow, "and stand, and kill." He stands up quickly and smashes the throat of one of the bandits attacking them with his zweihander. Tharja makes quick work of the archer with a well-placed flux. "Let's see… ooh, more bandits, fun. Mages too? Very classy."
Tharja fires a few spells at the oncoming group. "How bothersome."
Robin pulls a bow off his back while sheathing his sword. "As fun as it may be to fight these, doing so with just the two of us is probably not the best idea."
"Scared?" Tharja sneers.
"Hardly. We can do it if you want to, this is what you're paying me for, but I'm just saying that two on fifteen isn't great odds, even for people of our skill." Robin suggests. He pulls back his bowstring, aims carefully, and releases. He makes sure to move to the side to avoid the spells now being thrown their way. "You have what you came for, right? We can just flee. The reinforcements are far enough away. We're not noble knights or something. We're not obliged to stay."
"It's not about being noble, it's about reminding people why dark magic is feared." Tharja sneers. "They think they can attack a dark mage and live? I won't allow it."
Robin shrugs. "If you say so. Don't be reckless though. Your pride isn't worth your life."
Tharja glares. "I didn't ask you to be a fountain of wisdom. Now fight."
"If I must." The man sighs dramatically.
They win, but Tharja is forced to use nosferatu, and Robin is chugging concoctions the whole fight.
###
"Look at pretty lady and lucky man! At least, that what Gregor was thinking until he saw it was Robin. Now Gregor think lady is unlucky." The man chuckles.
"Look at that nice old man and his cute kid… is what I was going to say until I saw your ugly mug. Where'd you kidnap this one from Gregor?" Robin scoffs in response.
"Gregor not kidnap! Also, Nowi not kid. Is right Nowi?"
"Yeah! I'm older than all of you!" The girl huffs. "I'm at least a few thousand years old!"
Robin finds it hard to believe, in part because of how she's getting a piggyback from Gregor at the moment. His suspicion must show on his face, because Nowi scowls at him. "Are you sure Gregor didn't grab you out of some orphanage or something…?"
Nowi doesn't even dignify that with a response. She crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at him.
"And what about Robin? Hmm? Pick up lady from bar? Or maybe she pick up you, not realising personality, hmm?" Gregor chuckles.
"Oh, how I wish." Robin sighs wistfully. "But no, she's just my client."
"Ah…" Gregor nods sagely. He places a hand on Tharja's shoulder, and she glares at him suspiciously. "Gregor apologise in advance, and in past, for Robin being… Robin."
Tharja rolls her eyes. "Thanks I guess."
"Excuse you, I'm not that bad."
"Right… if Robin say so." Gregor says in a clearly disbelieving tone. "Gregor bet money Robin already get slapped, maybe kicked or punched, at least once already."
"Well you'd lose that bet." Robin huffs.
"Because only been employed for few days?"
"Two weeks thank you." The man retorts.
"Is true? Very tolerant lady you find." Gregor chuckles.
"Tolerant?" Tharja sneers. "Hardly. He just knows his place."
Robin snorts, and hides it (poorly) with a cough. Tharja gives him a withering look in response.
"Well, if Robin act too much like… Robin. Give smack. Usually fixes problem." Gregor laughs.
"Noted."
"Best of luck with job Robin! Maybe have drinks soon if have free time?"
"Definitely." The mercenary nods. "Bye Gregor."
###
"You know, I don't think I've ever gotten an assignment like this before." Robin says conversationally. "Usually people hire mercenaries for fighting or protection, not for spying through windows as you sit on their shoulders. I mean, I'm not really complaining here; having a nice pair of thighs around my head is plenty fine with me, but I do question why I'm needed here exactly. A ladder would do the same job."
"For the last time, we're following him." Tharja hisses. "He's a dangerous person, as are all grimleal. If this infiltration goes wrong, I need you as backup."
"Infiltration? We're just stalking-"
"At the moment we're stalking. We're going to follow him back to his place, wherever that is, and when he leaves again we're going to read every letter and note we can find."
"Ah." Robin nods. "Erm… why?"
"The grimleal are always up to something." Tharja says in a bitter tone that speaks of experience. "And Charlad is a particularly active and nasty member."
"Why don't we just kill him then?"
"Too risky. I don't want a direct confrontation. He's strong." Tharja grimaces. "Besides, that would put the grimleal on high alert. I can't afford that. It's hard enough to get information as is."
"Alright." Robin shrugs. "I'm all for sticking it to the grimleal. As long as you know what you're doing. I'd hate to see such a nice body get blown to pieces."
"Speak your mind why don't you?" Tharja mutters with a roll of her eyes. Still, perverted motives or not, he agreed to help, and she's glad for that. This is well beyond his original contract, both in scope and duration, but he's still sticking around despite the fact that the pay is mediocre (Tharja only has so much money to spare after all).
"Ooh, can I?"
"Don't."
###
"Ow." Tharja hisses. "You better not be doing that on purpose."
"Well, that's sort of how the anti-infection paste works." Robin chuckles. "So yes, it is intentional, because it's for the best."
Tharja glares, and then hisses in pain again as Robin applies the paste to another wound.
"That's what you get for wasting your nosferatu tome, and my concoctions, and that elixer you bought, and that vulunary you blackmailed out of-"
"I get it." The dark mage growls. Her eyes narrow. "Keep mocking me and see what it gets you."
"A bonus? Respect? A compliment? A kiss? All of the above?" Robin suggests cheekily.
Tharja's glare promises murder. Robin's grin promises more teasing.
###
"Well well, that's the prince isn't it?" Robin whispers. "My… I am not getting paid enough for this…"
"You're dismissed."
"Wha- you know I was kidding right? This is exactly what you pay me for."
"I'm going to defect." Tharja says bluntly. "I won't drag you along with me." She reaches into a pouch on her waist, and pulls out several gold coins. "Here's the rest of your pay. You're free to go."
"Right…" Robin says slowly.
Tharja doesn't wait for more talk. She needs to move if she wants to make this transition smoothly. She makes smooth strides towards where the blue-haired swordsman is fighting off a wyvern rider. She tries to look calm, if she looks panicked it will be clear that she's doing something suspicious.
"Just walk up, kill the wyvern, and insist you're on his side." Tharja tells herself. She pulls out her flux tome and allows dark magic to pool in her other hand. "And hope he doesn't run you through for being a Plegian instead…"
She's so focused on the wyvern rider and the prince that she misses the pegasus knight swooping down at her. It's only Robin nearly shooting the girl out of the sky, forcing her to turn away, that makes Tharja realize she needs to pay more attention.
"I told you that you were dismissed!" Tharja snaps angrily to mask her fear.
"Indeed, but apparently you're hopeless without me." Robin teases. "Besides, I'd love to see Ylisse. So I guess I'll just tag along with you."
"Oh joy…" Tharja drawls sarcastically.
"You know you love me." Robin quips back. "Me and my hot bod…"
"I think that's the other way around."
"Well I can't deny that…"
###
"And I thought Virion was bad…" Chrom thinks to himself. "At least Virion pretends to not be a lech."
The same can't be said for Robin. In the week the brown-haired man been with the Shepherds he's hit on almost every woman on the team. He even hit on Phila, and Emmeryn. Even Virion hasn't been that bold.
That said, it's fairly clear to Chrom that Robin isn't serious about any of it. He's clearly attached to Tharja who, for all the annoyance she displays at his unabashed flirtation and perversity, never actually rejects his presence. That says something about their relationship because Tharja has no problem telling people to fuck off if she doesn't want them around.
"Milord." Frederick's voice interrupts his thoughts, and the knight steps inside while dragging Robin behind him. "I found Robin attempting to flirt with the princess, again."
"You say that like it's a crime! Geeze, overprotective much…" Robin huffs. "From the way you reacted Freddy, you'd think I flipped her dress or something."
Chrom doesn't like that Robin even mentioned that. "Would it kill you to stop hitting on my sister?"
"Fine… how about Emm?"
"Make that sisters, plural."
"You're no fun."
"And you're a nuisance."
"Ah, but I'm a skilled nuisance."
"Unfortunately." Chrom grumbles under his breath. "Just… go bother Tharja instead or something. Stop going after Lissa."
"But I can do both. Why limit myself to one?" Robin quips.
"Because I'll run you through if you continue to bother the princess." Frederick growls.
"No you won't."
The knight's eye twitches. It's not often he gets called out like that. What makes it worse is that Robin is totally right. The knight grumbles something under his breath about mercenaries and pulls back his lance.
"But… if you're so shook up about this… I can lay off." Robin shrugs. "I'm a perv, not an asshole. I kept flirting with her because it was funny. If you're genuinely annoyed, I'll stop."
Chrom sighs in relief. "Please do."
"Fine…" Robin groans dramatically. "Now, unless there was something else you wanted, I'm off to bug Tharja."
"Don't get turned into a newt."
"Pff… it wouldn't be a newt. A slug maybe, or a snail. Some sort of insect." Robin jokes. "Besides, she wouldn't. She's too nice."
"Nice?"
"Yep. She's not even particularly good at hiding it." The mercenary chuckles. "You'll need more than a surly front to fool me."
Chrom decides he really doesn't want to get involved. Let the weirdos be weirdos, as long as it doesn't affect anyone else. "Right… good luck."
"I don't need luck. I have skill… in ladykilling."
"Sure you do. Now please leave."
###
"Having fun?" Tharja asks dryly.
"Indeed." Robin replies with a smirk. "You?"
"Less so."
"I'm not hearing a no though."
"No comment."
Neither of them expected to be back in Plegia so quickly; or at least, not without the other Shepherds at their backs. However, they were well suited for infiltration, being familiar with the country and the customs, so here they are in a side-alley nearing midnight waiting for Gaius to arrive, and trying to keep guards off their case with a simple but effective deception.
"Another guard coming." Robin whispers as he hears footsteps. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be." Tharja grumbles. "Need you be so handsy?"
"Sorry, needs to be convincing." The mercenary apologizes. He means that sincerely. As much as he leers, and otherwise enjoys this situation, he doesn't enjoy making his friends too uncomfortable, and for all her (only rarely legitimate) hostility he counts Tharja among that number.
The deception is simple, but effective. People tend to be embarrassed about public displays of affection, so looking like a pair of lovers getting intimate in a back-alley makes sure any given guard never looks their way more than once.
Robin likes this plan. Tharja… less so. She did agree to it though. There were other plans she could have chosen. Heck, Robin suggested this plan as a joke, he didn't think they'd actually go with it.
"You think your dark mage attire would make them suspicious." Robin whispers with a smirk. "Ahh, the power of psychology… they don't even think twice."
"People are fools." The mage sneers.
"Usually that would be directed at me." Robin notes. He slips his arms around Tharja and lifts her slightly so he's pinning her against the wall. The mage reluctantly plays along and wraps her legs around his waist and tilting her head up to receive a kiss.
"I never said it wasn't."
"Well… fair enough."
Robin leans down and kisses her as the guard rounds the corner. The man raises his lantern, squints, his eyes widen, and then he politely turns his head and walks away. The two of them wait a moment, making sure he's out of earshot, before speaking.
"Gaius is taking his sweet time." Robin sighs as he puts Tharja back on the ground.
"Maybe he's watching. He probably thinks this is funny." Tharja grumbles, and fixes her attire.
"Well yeah, it is funny, but I just got here." Gaius chuckles. He drops from the roof a moment later. "Having fun you two?"
"Fun as a relative term… still no." Tharja growls. "What did you learn?"
"The grimleal are messed up."
"No shit?"
"I also found some of their plans. Mostly troop movements, but it also seems like they have something important on them. I found a note that says they're moving something to the bones of Grima with a full platoon of guards tomorrow. The note was intentionally vague I think. It didn't specify what it was."
"Hmm…" Robin frowns. "Do we have time to try and get it?"
"Doubt it. We need to get the troop movements back to Chrom." Gaius reminds him. "What did you two find, by the way?"
"Plegia's been trying to hire a lot of mercs." Robin offers. "But a lot of mercs are also refusing to take those contracts, because it seems mercs are just being used as cannon fodder."
"Conscription is at an all time high, unsurprisingly." Tharja adds with a sneer. "But a lot of people don't seem to care. They see the war as justified revenge against Ylisse, and people who avoid conscription are actually getting hate. They're not fond of mercenaries either, precisely because they're refusing to take contracts."
"The Plegian government has tried to conscript mercenaries, so a lot of them have either fled to Ferox or taken to bandit life and have started harassing army supply trains." Robin chuckles. "The government pissed off the wrong crowd…"
"Right, so with that out of the way, should we move to the next objective?" Gaius whispers.
"Sure." Robin shrugs. "Thar?"
"About time." She huffs. The woman takes an elfire tome out of her bag with something resembling glee on her face. "I've always wanted to do this…"
The reason they met in this alleyway rather than some inn room was simply for the sake of speed. They're actually right near an area full of warehouses. Wooden warehouses. Sure, those warehouses are guarded, but an elfire tome is conveniently long range.
"Right, let's get to the roof." Robin murmurs. "Gaius?"
"On it." The man quickly scampers up the wall, and throws a rope down to the other two. They climb up one at a time, and balance precariously on the sloped roof.
"Don't let me fall." Tharja warns. She rolls her eyes when Robin grabs her waist, but it is more or less what she asked for. She focuses on channeling her tome and then throws one fireball, then two, then three, at a large wooden building a few blocks away, just barely illuminated by the moon.
She can only do three fireballs before they start hearing the shouts and footsteps of guards. The three Shepherds slide down the rope (well, Gaius jumps, the other two take the rope). Tharja manages two more elfires at a different warehouse as they start running down the street before she has to pocket the tome so she can start running full sprint.
They easily lose the guards. Plegia's streets have so many twists and turns and small alleyways that it's easy enough for the guards to take the wrong path just once and totally miss them.
This was a weird chapter to write. Robin feels very… normal. I mean, I tried to play to his quirks, but I guess they ended up being more minor than expected.
bauers374: Dunno. I didn't actually have anything in mind for that. It just sounded better when Robin was bragging to say "Robin D Tealeaf!" than just "Robin Tealeaf!"
Junk Dealer? Sure.
The Restless Drifter: I'll note it down. That's going to be a rather problematic for a story like Awakening's though.
Darkness is complete: Geokinetic? Sure. You've already suggested that before if I remember correctly.
TwilightSymphonycat: To each their own. This collection isn't trying to accurately represent Robin though. There's nothing accurate about any of this.
B1ackAshes: She was so much fun to write, and quite a bit different from what I'm used to too.
LoveGlutton: :D
Half-beastdragonsoul2013: It's not. Robin doesn't have a surname in-game that we know of. I made that up. Scottish? Sure I guess.
G: Noted.
RoastedButter: No, I haven't, and I won't do so just for the sake of Three Houses. It's on the list, and I'll do it when I feel like it.
Guest: Oh hey, thanks. Indeed, Robin was inspired by Nosk from Hollow Knight. Part 2 of anything won't be found in The Robin Variable, you might find some of those in Varied Awakenings (from what I remember I've given a part 2 to Succubus Robin… actually, that's it at the moment. Been focused on new ideas, but if you have something specific you want I might be able to manage it).
Cyberchao X: Never heard of that word until just now.
Apex85: Glad you're enjoying some of the chapters.