Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Boxer (Pugilist), Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Wyvern Rider, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Wyvern Rider, Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Martial Artist, Scottish, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Paranoid, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Genderfluid, Gift from Validar + evil to good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, POW, PTSD, Magician, Mute, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Regenerating, Animal Whisperer, Naga/Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Umbramancer, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Attraction Aura, Ring Maker, Therapist, Teleporting, Crippled, Puppet, Broken, Hallucination, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Detective, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Assassin, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Future Vision, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Singer, Violent, Insane, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Singer, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Witch, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman, Ghostbuster, Exorcist, King, Soldier, Bird Wings, Failed Vessel.
Other: Second Generation replacement, Dimensional Walker, Cycle, Fates.
Crazy Robin, suggested by Guest. I've tried this one so many times before, let's see if I this one gets through. This is not based off any particular mental illness, don't take this seriously. Also, Future Sight Robin, as suggested by 99, sorta. It's more subdued, but there, and she just gets visions in general rather than strictly future sight. Also, apparently I made her a singer, so that's a thing. Songs are a lot less modified than they were in Bard Robin though.
What am I even going to call this chapter? Mad Prophet Robin? I dunno...
"Goooood morning Ylisse! It's a lovely day today! Fine weather we're having here! Slightly orange with a chance of Risen; standard fare! You might say the day looks like a rooster eating a potato! Dickish and starchy!" Robin shouts, magnifying her voice with magic so everyone in the vicinity of the castle can probably hear it.
"She's at it again Chrom…"
"I know, I know. I'll get her down."
"And now, to wake the rest of you who insist on overcomatizing, a song!" The tactician cries out with a grin on her face. her long, wispy, knotted white hair has fallen in her face, making it look like a giant cobweb is covering it. She's also standing on the castle roof with each gust of wind looking like it will send her tumbling off.
That doesn't stop her in the slightest though.
They say... Ylisse is moving their power to Sandvale today!
Is that true? The fools lining up for their doom as my armies pursue.
I'm perplexed… are they going to set up shop there and then move on the capital?
If so, what next? And what makes them think they'd survive trying to take me on?
#
(Henry, Henry! Henry...)
#
Henry? I know him, that can't be,
He's that crazy mage who came to me,
All those months ago, he's one of mine,
If he's turned then I'll skin him alive!
#
Kingdoms rise, cities fall; next to me, well, they all look small…
All alone, watch them run, I will tear them into tiny pieces, oh Grima this will be fun!
La-da-da-da-dah, la-da-da-da-da, la-de-da-da-die-da!
Ha ha ha ha… Ylissians... good luck!
Robin bursts into hysterics and doubles over from maniacal laughter. Chrom has to virtually carry her off the roof, because she can't stop giggling long enough to keep her balance.
"Did you heeeeear?" Robin asks eventually in a sing-song voice. She giggles and snorts, then adds: "Us fools lining up for our doom~! Henry Chrom, Henry! Ahahahahahaha!"
"Who's Henry?" The prince asks as he lowers the laughing girl into a chair.
"The boy of crows and kills and chaos! He laughs Chrom! He- ha-hahahahaha!" Robin bursts into another giggle fit. "We need him Chrom! If we're going to set up shop there and then move on the capital~!"
Chrom's brow furrows. Robin, despite her… insanity… has never been wrong thus far. In the past he might have ignored her ramblings, but the Shepherds learned the hard way via several nasty wounds and scars that Robin's ramblings always foreshadow something. If she says they need a mage called Henry, then they damn well better find him. "Where do we find this Henry?"
"Plegia!"
"Plegia's a big place Robin."
"Nooooo, this castle is big, Plegia is smaaaaaall." Robin giggles. "It's that small place beyond the hills! Teeny tiny! No more than just a castle! Now Grimleal, that's a big place!"
"The Grimleal are a cult Robin, not a place."
"They're a biiiiig place! Bigger than Plegia! Plegia is small." Robin rambles, apparently ignoring him now. "Small, small, small! A puppet king, sightless generals, a million starving people, so small…"
Robin tends to unnerve people a lot. This is exactly why. "If you say so."
"I don't, the world does! I just repeat what I'm told!" The girl says. Her compulsive giggling seems to have finally died down. She's still wearing a mad grin on her face, and her red eyes dart erratically around the room, only occasionally settling on Chrom and meeting his own eyes.
"Right." Chrom isn't in the mood to argue this. It would be a fruitless battle anyhow. "I guess we need to search for someone called Henry then…"
###
Robin has a startlingly large array of talents. It's rare that they surface though. It's usually during one of her bouts of insanity that she'll suddenly display an aptitude for something she never bothered to show them before.
Today, apparently, it's ballroom dancing. In the desert. When they're supposed to be training. Somehow she managed to get a grip on Lon'qu, who is being dragged around by the girl. It's funny actually. Robin doesn't look very strong at all, she's thin and waifish, but Lon'qu can't seem to break her grip. She's singing again too, but the song is very unfitting for the dance.
"I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you~" Robin sings in a low, mournful voice. She spins, then dips Lon'qu low to the ground. Apparently Robin is taking the traditionally male role in the dance. "But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide… no matter what we breed, we still are made of greed…"
Lon'qu looks quite uncomfortable at all this. He keeps trying to break free of Robin's grasp, but the girl has a vice grip on his hand and the back of his shirt.
"Hmm…" Robin hums, stopping her song. "This isn't getting through to you, is it?"
"Speak for yourself. I don't see how it's not getting through to you that I don't care what you have to say." Lon'qu snaps. "Release me woman!"
"Another way…" The woman hums as she pulls the man out of the dip, and then does another twirl with a lift. "The warrior's way. Always another path… an unwanted one…? Were you always a warrior?"
"That is none of your business." The man replies coldly.
"Hmm… a dance…" Robin whispers. "A warrior now…"
She detaches suddenly from the man, causing him to stumble. A moment later she throws a training sword at him. Lon'qu just barely catches it before it smacks him in the face. "What makes you think I'll spar with you?" He grows as he watches her grab another training blade.
"Everything begins with the stance." Robin says in a melodic voice; she's not listening to him and raises her sword. "Remember, they do it for him… and they'd do it again. You do it for her, and that's to say, she did it for him..."
The girl moves methodically, which is quite unlike her. Her strikes are simple, easily deflected. It's barely a spar. She's not even putting force behind her attacks.
"Keep your stance wide, keep your body lowered. As you're moving forward balance is the key~!"
Robin starts pushing forwards, forcing Lon'qu to move back or risk their blades getting tangled. Her red eyes, normally erratic and wild, are focused squarely on his.
"Right foot, left foot. Now go even faster~" She sings. "As you're moving backwards, keep your eyes on me."
Lon'qu doesn't know why she's bothering to tell him this. He knows this. It's the basics of swordplay. Novice advice.
There's a dozen seconds where Robin doesn't sing anything new. She hums a tune instead, still keeping her gaze locked with his. Her attacks are picking up speed, power, and complexity.
Lon'qu's foot hits a rock amongst the sand, and his eyes flick to the ground for just a second to keep his balance.
"Concentrate! Don't you want to live!?" Robin barks. "Right foot, left foot… she put her whole body into it! Everything she had, everything she was, everything she could possibly give~!"
Lon'que narrows his eyes. Her song was instructional a moment ago. Now she seems to be singing about someone else entirely. The madwoman… it was foolish to expect sense out of her to even a minor extent.
"On the battlefield, everything was chaos. She only has the way she felt, no strategy, but a sword… a dream of a life to have, together, after the war~!" Robin sings loudly, powerfully. Her voice rings clear and true. "And then to do it for him, even if she couldn't win… to do it for him, that is to say, she'll do it for you…"
Something clenches in the man's stomach. She can't possibly be singing about what he thinks she's singing about. His grip tightens on his training weapon, and he starts properly fighting back rather than just defending himself. He wants her to stop.
"Deep down, she knew, she wasn't built for fighting. But it didn't mean she wasn't prepared to try!" Robin sings. Her movements have improved. She slips under a thrust, and whips her own blade at Lon'qu's stomach, and he has to move back to avoid it. "What they don't know… her real advantage… to live for someone, and no real fear to die…"
Lon'qu's composure breaks. He snarls audibly and brings his sword down in a brute-force smash. Robin blocks with her own blade, but the sheer power of the swing shatters both of the weapons. The myrmidon storms off, face red with anger and his eyes reddening with something else. Robin doesn't pursue, and hums the rest of the song to herself under her breath, unphased by the events.
"Hmm…" The woman murmurs after she's done singing. "I kept changing the tense, that could have been better. Should have stuck to just one…"
###
"Robin, I don't think I've ever really asked before, but… who are you?" Chrom asks.
"I'm Robin!"
"I know that. I mean what's your history? I know you're from Plegia, but nothing beyond that."
Robin hums for a moment and does a handstand. Her hair pools in the sand, getting dirty, before she returns to an upright position. "Did I tell you the story?"
"What story?"
"Of the purple hats."
"No…?" Chrom frowns. "How is that relevant?"
"You need to hear it then!" Robin says excitedly. She paces back and forth for a few seconds, does a twirl, then sits on the sand. "It's about hats."
"I guessed as much." As much as Chrom doesn't see the point in this, Robin usually answers questions posed to her. Sometimes in roundabout ways. If she's offering this in response to his question, it's probably her way of answering, or just important somehow, so he'll listen. "Alright, I'll listen."
"Good!" She grins. "So…
Once upon a time, there was a club. There was a lot of rich and powerful people in the club, but the club was open to anyone. The club was great. It was fancy, had drugs, and you could do almost whatever you wanted… provided you followed one rule: you had to wear a purple hat.
A child was born into the club. This child was a special child, they were born for a purpose. That purpose was to wear the great purple hat. It was a huge top hat, purple of course, that massively, hugely, big.
There had been others born to wear the great purple hat, but their heads were never the right size. They had all the other necessary qualities, like an exactly two-inch long middle finger, but their heads simply couldn't hold up the hat. They became powerful figures in the club, but were not able to wear the great purple hat.
The great purple hat was actually a crown. A crown for they who would lead the club. That fated person who could wear the hat, and had all other necessary qualities, would rule the club, and even hold power over things outside the club, because the hat was strong, it was powerful.
The child knew this. They knew their purpose. They knew what the hat was for, and what it symbolized. The child also had purple hair, so everyone in the club was sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were the one who would be able to wear the hat. None of the other special children had purple hair.
The hat is their purpose. The child, eventually an adult, knows that wearing the hat will feel right. It will feel like their life is complete.
So, knowing all of this about the hat, their purpose, and knowing the workings of the club from growing up there. The adult makes a choice. With one of the club's priceless trophies in hand, the adult walks out of the club one day. They don't look behind them, and walk out into the city. The club tries to find them, but they are good at remaining hidden. They are smart, they are quick, and they are ruthless. They deal with all the club members that try to find them easily.
The adult even joins the city guard. Sometimes they investigate the club that they grew up in, stopping some of their wrongdoings. They like the guards. Maybe they won't spend their life as part of them, but that's fine.
What they know above all else, though, is that they will never willingly go back to the club. So they work, and talk, and learn, and play… but the club is not gone. The adult's head will still fit the hat. That is why the club still tries to find them. The hat does not care about what the adult has done. It just cares about what the adults is, physically. It's only the size of the head it ever really needed.
The adult knows this too, so they work harder, and that's where the story stops. The club is not gone, the great purple hat is still waiting, and the adult is still working, playing, talking, avoiding…"
The smile that Robin gives Chrom doesn't reach her eyes. She stands up and bows, miming a sweep of a hat off her head as she does so, then walks out of the tent.
###
"Robin…" Chrom sighs.
"Yes?"
"You do know you have your own tent, right?"
"But there's sand on the ground."
"So is mine."
"But the sand is less purple here."
"Sand isn't purple."
"Spiritually purple." She emphasises, as if that explains anything.
"Right…"
"There are also fewer tornadoes."
"Tornadoes won't fit in a tent, Robin."
"When they're really small they will."
Chrom sighs. He should quit while he still has his sanity. There's no arguing with Robin.
"Besides, your tent is warm, mine is cold."
"It's almost exactly the same as yours." Chrom says impulsively. He shakes his head at himself. He needs to stop enabling her nonsense.
"Warm warm~!" Robin says in a singsong voice. Her eyes roam the tent as her head lolls to the side limply. "Big and cozy; a volcano! My tent is an igloo. Gloooooo~!"
She giggles and falls on her back from where she was sitting on the sand. She repeats that last sound over and over, and giggles more and more each time.
Chrom sighs. At this point, Robin might as well not have a tent at all. She never uses it. Instead she stays with him in his tent all the time. "Have you managed to draft up plans for tomorrow? We can't affoard to be reckless tomorrow because you haven't-"
"I have! Oh, how I have drawn and written! Scribbled my heart onto parchment! I've felled the roaring wyvern with a quill, ink, and sweat. The quill is mightier they cry, and hold me up as their champion!" Robin recounts, as if reciting a poem.
Chrom can't be bothered to decipher Robin's words at the moment. As long as she's done her job, that's fine with him.
###
Chrom can tell Robin is going to start singing well before it happens. Her erratic, sharp movements start to become smooth and flow into each other, and her wild smile molds into smug confidence. Her weapon, a long chain with giant caltrops on either end, whips around her in an impressive display of skill and artsmanship.
The song, however, doesn't end up sounding like Chrom expected. Now granted, Robin seems to invent a new style of song every two days, but it never stops surprising the prince. You think she'd run out of styles eventually. It makes him wonder what they'd sound like with music.
Wyverns roar overhead of the fortress, and giant bones dominate the background. Emmeryn looks small standing atop the rocky outcropping. It should be chaos, but as Robin starts singing, Chrom finds himself filled with confidence, conviction, certainty. There's no way they can fail. The song may be way too cheery and lighthearted for the situation, but Chrom will take it over the screaming and the sound of explosions.
What goes up must come down
Yet my feet don't touch the ground
See the world spinning upside down
A mighty crash without a sound!
#
I can feel your every rage
Step aside I'll smash this cage.
Breaking through your manic rage!
Like a beam of light, my eyes on you!
#
Watch me drive the night away
Watch me save the day!
Feel like my strongest yet
And I'm heading your way!
Robin hums a few unintelligible words here, needing to focus to take down a particularly troublesome wyvern rider. The Shepherds have pushed up further and faster than Chrom expected them to, and faster than planned. Looking up, Chrom can see the fury in Gangrel's voice as he barks orders, and the narrowing of Aversa's eyes as they watch Robin dance her way across the battlefield wreaking havoc with her chains.
Bind you, confine you
Defying your reign!
We are heroes…
Setting the stage
For a heroes parade!
#
I won't even hesitate
A second left to alter fate
You try to strike, but a bit too late
You got too hooked by your own bait!
Robin dashes at the fortress walls and leaps up high. Her foot finds friction on the wall, and she manages a vertical wall run for a few precious seconds that allow her to push off again and snag the edge of the top of it, and pull herself onto the parapets. She lashes out, easily downing the archers stationed there, and makes a beeline for Gangrel and Aversa.
The woman is still singing, but she's too far off for Chrom to hear her exact words now. The prince urges the Shepherds onwards into the fortress, and they clear out the ground level as Robin duels Gangrel in the balcony. For her part, Aversa has leapt out of a window and landed on a pegasus waiting nearby. She flies up and away, escaping the tactician's whirling weapon and the battlefield at large.
Robin's song ends when she kicks Gangrel off the balcony and he slams into the stone of the fortress floor. She leaps down after him, but needn't have bothered. The man's legs were broken by the fall, and maybe a rib or two. Robin manages to not suffer anything serious by going into a roll as soon as she lands. Her weapon rattles on the stone as it clatters down beside her.
With Gangrel unable to fight, the battle is effectively over. Emmeryn is easily retrieved from her spot up on the rock, and the Plegian army quickly surrenders after that.
I want to do more with this idea, but introducing romance now would feel off, so I'll just stop here. She also ended up being a bit less crazy than intended and just more… cryptic.
Songs used/modified are "35 I Know Her" by The Cantata Pansophical, "Demons" by Imagine Dragons, "Do it for her" a song from the show Steven Universe, and "Sonic Heroes" by Crush 40. I looked up the lyrics for all of these, so if there's a change, it's intentional.
Yes, I am incapable of using mainstream songs. Except Demons. Demons is awesome. My favourite song actually.
bauers374: I guess? I don't really see it beyond him being a slightly sassy mercenary.
Fine to Vampire Hunter, Ghostbuster, and Exorcist, but the others… no. Shrunken head would barely be a character. Corpse bride would basically just end up being a mix between Risen, Lich, and Banshee, and I have no idea what "of the Corn" would even be.
Darkness is complete: Noted.
Izunama: Glad you liked it. You'll get a small follow-up when I do more short epilogues, but no proper extra story. Sorry.
LoveGlutton: I suppose.
Noted.
Gilgamesh King of Mongrels: I always found that character trait irritating, so I rarely use it. Purely my personal preference.
Cyberchao X: I mean… technically the "avatar" just means the player character, so by nature of this being a text, they can't be an avatar. Well, I suppose they could be my Avatar, but they're not.
B1ackAshes: Really? Thank you. I was worried about this one being underwhelming, so that's nice to hear.
Guest: Valentian meaning what? Valentia is Valm, so Valmese?
Fantasy Paradise: Have I really never given Robin wings? Lemme see… huh. Unless you count Manakete Robin, I guess I haven't. Alright then. Noted.
Guest: I suppose that could work. Hmm… I'll have to think on it.
mangopies: He does deserve more, but I have trouble with him and so tend to hoard all the most fun ideas for F!Robin, who I feel much more comfortable with. You think anti-heroism fits M!Robin more? I suppose I can understand why, seeing as how almost all the villainous/not nice Robins have been male so far. Thanks for reading!