Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Boxer (Pugilist), Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Wyvern Rider, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Wyvern Rider, Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Martial Artist, Scottish, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Paranoid, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish, Melancholic, Punny.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Genderfluid, Gift from Validar + evil to good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, POW, PTSD, Magician, Mute, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Regenerating, Animal Whisperer, Naga/Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Umbramancer, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Attraction Aura, Ring Maker, Therapist, Teleporting, Crippled, Puppet, Broken, Hallucination, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Detective, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Assassin, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Violent, Insane, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Witch, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman, Ghostbuster, Exorcist, King, Soldier, Bird Wings, Failed Vessel, Of the Corn, Valentian, Harem.
Other: Second Generation replacement, Dimensional Walker, Cycle, Fates.
Genderfluid as suggested by Reader and Shakuras, but literally instead of what it usually refers to. That's this chapter.
"I fucking hate those dastards…"
"You had fun." Chrom chuckles. "Don't sound too enthusiastic there Robin."
"Oh, fun, is that what it's called now?" They sneer. "Gods, they're either simpering fools or domineering assholes. I either have a hard time getting a straight answer because they're all suckups, or I have to be all: 'oh, thank you Duke Albinoth! Can I suck your dick too?' Naga above that fucker can just crawl into a hold and die!"
"Which one was it today? Simper or smug?"
"The latter, as you can see." They gesture to their body: somewhat short, massive head of white hair, pronounced hips and bust, and plump lips alongside white skin. "I just can't win! If I'm a man they simper, and if I'm a lady they talk over me! How do you deal with these morons!?"
"Usually I don't have to." Chrom grins. "I usually only talk to them when holding council, and when that happens I can usually count on Lord and Lady Themisia to help."
"Well I'm not so lucky." Robin groans. "Can't I just overrule and ignore them? I'm Grand Tactician right?"
"Well you can, but that's also totally ruining the system we have in place. Overruling is supposed to be a drastic measure." Chrom reminds them. "To prevent abuses of power."
"Fine…" They mutter. Robin's eyes narrow. "You owe me for putting up with them."
"I'll by you the new expansion of War of Worlds."
"Deal." They say instantly. "Don't skimp! Get it from Anna! Most other dealers just sell knockoffs."
Chrom can feel his wallet weeping already, but it's a price he'll happily pay. "Sure, sure. Just keep me alive long enough to order it."
"And then I kill you after?" Robin jokes. "Once I've gotten what I want?"
"If you wish." Chrom shrugs. "Though some people might object. Frederick for one."
"Well, I don't want to deal with more of his fitness hours, so I guess I better keep you alive." Robin sighs.
"Oh thank you, how generous." The prince chuckles.
"I know I am." Robin grins. "Now if you'll excuse me, I promised Virion a few games earlier, so I'm gonna change and get going."
"Don't let me stop you."
By "change" Robin doesn't mean change clothes. They mean change sex. It takes only a minute… and it can look rather disturbing to someone who doesn't know what's going on. Chrom knows it scared him the first time he saw it. He thought Robin was abusing themself.
Robin reaches up to their jaw, and sharply pulls it one side, then the other. Each move is punctuated by a loud, sickening crack. They ball their hands into fists and hit their hips, knocking them into a less round shape. The shove their breasts in, literally, then grab one shoulder at a time and forcefully push them out and up. A slew of minor touches come next: pushing in their lips so that they're less pronounced, adjustments to the cheekbones, eyeridge, and nose, and a bit of widening to the ribs to eliminate the hourglass shape.
Chrom averts his eyes as Robin reaches down to their groin. That's one adjustment he doesn't care to see or think about.
"There we- oops." Robin promptly jabs a few fingers into their throat. When they speak again, their voice has dropped to a deeper, distinctly male tone. "Right. There we go. I'm off."
"Good luck."
###
"Come now Sir Robin, surely you must have time for tea." The lady coos.
Robin's suave smile never falters even though Chrom knows they must be seething. He has to give it to them, they're a great actor. Their eyes meet across the room, and Chrom offers them an amused grin. "I'm sorry Milady." Robin says. "But I really must be going. I can't keep the prince waiting."
Robin walks in Chrom's direction, and the prince rolls his eyes. They have nothing planned whatsoever. Robin is just using him as an excuse to escape. Still, the prince puts on a serious expression so as to lend the tactician's claim some semblance of credibility, and the noblewoman who was talking to him reluctantly finds someone else to occupy herself with.
"How rude of you to abandon her. I think you were really hitting it off."
"Fuck you." Robin grumbles under his breath. "How much longer do I have to do this? Can I leave yet?"
Chrom chuckles and throws an arm over the tactician's shoulder. "Not yet. You could switch out for your 'sister' if you want though."
Surprisingly, few people (outside the Shepherds) have figured out that Robin's two forms are actually the same person, and they few that have think Robin just changes their appearance through padding and subtle clothes changes rather than an actual physical change.
"If anything, I think that would be worse." Robin groans. "At least people avoid me if I scowl when I'm male. If I'm female, people don't give a shit."
"Oh." Chrom winces. He actually remembers Lissa and Maribelle complaining about things like that before. "Right, sorry."
"Though… if you'll stay near me, maybe you can scare off any so-called suitors." Robin suggests.
Chrom doesn't know if that's a joke or not. "I mean… if you want."
The tactician blinks. "Really?"
"Sure." The prince shrugs. "Will that actually work though?"
"It should. No one man wants to deal with a woman that's already taken." Robin shrugs.
Chrom raises an eyebrow. "I think I'm offended."
"Present comp… well, you excluded." Robin says while sneering at the rest of the room. "I can't say the same for the rest of these fuckers."
"Language. We're in public." The prince chuckles.
"Yeah yeah." They grunt. "Just give me a minute to find somewhere private so I can switch. I think I see another duchess eyeing me…"
"Oh, the horror."
"Hey, you're the one who was complaining about this exact thing last week." Robin huffs.
"I know. It's just funny to see it happen to someone else."
Robin gives him the middle finger as they walk away. Chrom just smiles, amused. If Robin is being vulgar, then they're comfortable. That's all he can ask for.
###
"Hello Milord, would you like to join me for a game of chess?"
"Uh, hi Robin." Chrom blinks at his pleasantly smiling tactician. This seems… off. "Sure. I'm free at the moment. Your room or mine?"
"Mine; if you don't mind, of course." The tactician says softly, still wearing a sweet smile.
Chrom eyes them warily. What's going on? Robin never acts like this, not that Chrom can remember anyways. "Right. Lead on."
The prince follows them back to their room. As the two of them are walking, Chrom notices more things that make him suspicious. Robin is walking around as a girl for one, which they usually avoid when on their own in the castle because the various lords don't seem to understand the word "no", and they have their top buttons undone showing cleavage, which they never do unless they're actively trying to manipulate-
Chrom's eyes narrow. Is he being manipulated? Is that what's going on? Or maybe something is wrong and this is Robin's way of subtly alerting him? The prince start glancing around as subtly as he can, looking for someone who might be following them. If there's something wrong, there must be a reason Robin can't tell him outright…
The prince doesn't spot anything on the way to Robin's room, so his suspicion doesn't abate. He glances down the hallway as he closes the door, and looks through the window as Robin takes out the chess set. Robin hasn't let down their smile and hasn't buttoned back up, so something's still up. Maybe this is supposed to be manipulation? But for what?
"Black or white?"
Chrom usually chooses white. On the odd chance that something is wrong though, he wants to try and send a signal. "Black."
Robin turns around the board so that the black pieces are on Chrom's side. "Changing things up?"
"You could say that."
The tactician tilts their head to the side. "Should I?"
"I don't know. Should you?"
"I think I will."
"Go ahead then."
"Okay. You're changing things up."
Chrom nods, trying to appear calm. Internally he's frustrated. Was there a clue hidden in that exchange? "I think I will" and "changing things up?", do those mean something? Maybe Robin has a plot they're putting into place? Why can't they say it outright then?
The chess game progresses, and Chrom fares even more poorly than he usually does. Everything Robin taught him about tactics, and chess, has totally left his mind in favor of trying to figure out what in Naga's name Robin is up to.
"You seem to be struggling today." Robin notes. Their smile has been reduced a bit, and they're sitting up a bit straighter. "Something on your mind?"
"You might say that."
"Being vague again, are we?" Their smile falls further.
Chrom doesn't know what to say. "Yes?"
"Why?"
Chrom throws his hands up in exasperation. "Because you are!"
"What?!" Robin's facade totally goes away, and a scowl crosses their face. "I am not!"
"Then why were you acting strange?"
"Stran- I was flirting!"
"What!?"
"Why do you sound so surprised!?" Robin snaps. "I am capable of that, jackass!"
"Ah, there we go. You're back." Chrom sighs. This statement seems to make Robin more angry.
"What? Do you just associate me with random swearing?" The tactician hisses. "Is that it?"
"Kinda." The prince nods.
"You-! You-!" Robin stands up, fists clenched.
"Let me finish." Chrom soothes. "I say that because you always seem to swear around me, and because you always seem to be the most… yourself when you're vulgar. The way you were acting like today seemed like the way you act around councilmen when you're trying to get something out of them."
"Ah… aha." Robin sits down heavily. They drop their face into their hands. "Ugh…"
"Something on your mind?" Chrom parrots back Robin's own question from earlier.
"Chrom." Robin says. They take a deep breath. "You're a moron."
"Uh-huh."
"But so am I."
"Okay, I can get on board with this now."
Robin snorts. Chrom's joke has the desired effect of lightening the mood though. "Of course you'd say that. Ah, Naga. I should have known better than to try and be subtle with you."
"Well to be fair I did notice, I just didn't get what you were doing because it seemed out of character." Chrom says defensively. "And besides, I didn't think romance was a thing you did… at all."
"And why would you think that?" Robin huffs.
"Because you constantly complain about anyone who tries to have tea with you."
"Well-"
"And that time you punched a nobleman in the face for giving you flowers."
"That was Albinioth-"
"Or that time you made that that girl cry because of how harshly you rejected her."
"Look, the way she was talking, I thought she was trying to wrangle a favor out of me like any other suitor." Robin mutters sheepishly. "I didn't realize she was genuine until later when Maribelle scolded me."
"Point is, you really don't seem like you do romance, at all."
"Well I do." They grumble. "Sorry to shatter your illusion of me. My question is, why didn't you ever see me as a potential partner?"
"Who says I didn't? Who says I don't?" Chrom retorts. "I just never bothered to try anything because… well… you're an amnesiac who's had memories for only a year, and the fact that you didn't look like you were into romance, and my own apprehension about the whole deal because my position as Prince tends to make greedy anyone I interact with..."
"Okay, I get the picture."
Chrom shrugs. "Just didn't seem like a good idea."
"Huh, I figured it was the sex-swapping thing."
"Well, that was certainly off-putting at first." Chrom acknowledges. "But… it really just amounts to a different look. No big deal."
"No big deal, huh? Only with you." Robin says with a shake of their head. "And here I thought I had to cater."
"Well, considering I'm straight, I won't say I'm not partial to your current form in a purely, uh, base way." Chrom admits sheepishly. "But other than that..."
The tactician, thankfully, doesn't seem to take issue with that statement. "Don't worry, I get it. Thanks for the honesty actually."
"I thought you'd get mad over that." The prince says.
"I mean… it's not like you have a choice in your preference." Robin shrugs. "Besides, it's not like you said me being male sucks, just that you think me as a girl is hot."
"I'm fairly sure I didn't put it that way."
"That's basically what you meant though."
"Well… yeah."
"What were we talking about before by the way? What started this?"
"You tried to seduce me I think?"
"Oh yeah!" Robin reaches across the table and punches Chrom in the shoulder. "Fuck you for thinking I can't flirt."
"I never said that."
"Fuck you anyways."
Chrom rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say Robin."
###
The princess covers her eyes instantly. "Eep!"
"Whaaaat?" Robin asks irritably. "What the fuck's wrong?"
"Language." Maribelle tuts.
"Wasn't asking you."
"R-Robin." Lissa squeaks.
"What?" Robin huffs, putting their hands on their hips. "What's the problem already?"
"Y-Y-Y-ou..." Lissa stammers
"For Naga's sake Robin, consider the situation." Maribelle sighs. "Change first if you're going to join us in a bath."
The tactician blinks once, then glances down at their body. Their currently male, naked body. "Ah, right. My bad."
Maribelle tuts. "Honestly Robin. Use some common sense."
Robin gives her the middle finger. The lady sighs while shaking her head.
"Honestly, I don't know what Chrom sees in someone as vulgar as you."
"And I don't get what Lissa sees in someone as annoying as you, but life goes on." Robin responds sardonically. They sigh and start their adjustment, taking no heed to how their companions wince with each sickening crack of their bones. "There, is that better?"
"I'm gonna be sick…" Lissa mumbles.
"Common sense Robin! Common sense!" Maribelle barks, looking like she's about to go on a rant.
Robin just huffs as they slip into the baths. "There's no pleasing you, is there?"
###
"Robin…"
"What?"
"I realize you've decided to reveal your secret, but can you please stop traumatizing the council?"
"It's only traumatic because they're assholes."
"That's not how it works Robin."
"It is because I fucking say so."
"Of course, that's how it works." Chrom says, rolling his eyes. "Thank you for reminding me. I forgot the world bends to your whim."
"And don't you forget it." Robin mutters. "Seriously, what's the problem?"
"A full minute of someone cracking their bones and distorting their body in ways it doesn't look like it's designed to support is the problem." Chrom responds flatly. "The problem isn't that you change, it's that you're intentionally disturbing everyone just for your own amusement."
"Are you telling me they don't deserve it?"
"No. They totally do." Chrom snorts. "But unfortunately, Ylisse's political systems rely on them, so please try to stay on their good sides. For my and Ylisse's sake, if for nothing else."
"Fine." Robin huffs. "I'll play nice…"
"Not too nice if you don't want to. You can mess with them. Just not too much. I need them functional." Chrom grins. "Until I can do something about it anyways.
"Ahhh, okay." Robin grins. "I won't break the little windup toys… yet."
Chrom snorts and laughs. "Haha, sometimes we're terrible people, aren't we?"
"Just a little." Robin grins. "They deserve it though."
"Fair enough."
"Besides, everyone needs to let out their inner sadist once in a while… in a controlled, not-too-horrible fashion of course."
"Of course."
"Want to join me? I'm sure there's something sufficiently creepy you could pull off?"
Chrom shakes his head with a smile on his face. "Unlike you, I have an image to maintain. I am the prince of a country after all. I'll happily watch when the time comes though."
"Unlike me? Rude."
"Don't give me that. You keep up your facades out of convenience, not any serious care for how people see you."
"You don't know that."
"You've told me a dozen times that you literally only do it to get certain reactions out of people, mostly so they don't bother you as much."
"Okay, maybe you do know that..."
This was a weird chapter. Weird as in I felt a bit more aimless than usual when writing it, and I think it shows. I had a vague idea of what I was doing, but only a vague idea. Romance ended feeling weird, so I implemented that weirdness into the story. The form changing gimmick ended being used about as much as I expected, but not in the way as I expected. It ended up being very… normal, a non-issue in the story. That's probably because of Chrom. Chrom tends to make normal a lot of quirks due to not treating them as if they're particularly unusual. Which, in the grand scheme of things, this quirk really isn't. It's a few minor physical changes attached to an unnerving way of transforming. That's about it.
B1ackAshes: As long as you like it, I'm content.
Darkness is complete: Noted.
bauers374: I haven't actually. I've watched a full parody soundtrack of Hamilton by The Cantata Pansophical.
Huh… interesting… okay. I'll see about it.
Dandaman5: :D
Memento Mori - The Truth: Hmm… noted.
X King 014: Next? No. At some point? Possibly.
Guest: :D
Guest: Right… right. Okay.
d8rkforcen1ght7: Umm… hate to burst your bubble, but Emmet's not that old. He's only around thirty-five. He was a young adult around the time of Chrom's father's crusade, which he fought in.
Lobotomite: Noted.
Cyberchao X: Songs from games tend to be useful because, while they have a tendency to not flow as well due to a greater focus on clear lyrics than perfect balance of all elements, that same focus on clear lyrics at the expense of flow makes those songs easy to understand and create alternative lyrics to… or, if you just need a song that isn't annoying vague, video game songs work wonders for that. At least, that's my experience. Your own may vary. I don't know much about Imagine Dragons as a group. I just recognize some of their songs.
ExiledLagacy: I'll note it down.