Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Exploitive, Swordmaster, Angry Cinnamon Roll, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Scottish, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish, Melancholic, Punny, Dark Mage, Dragoon.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Gift from Validar + Evil to Good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, PTSD, Magician, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Animal Whisperer, Naga/Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, Arachne, D&D magic, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Attraction Aura, Ring Maker, Teleporting, Crippled, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Detective, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling, Shapeshifter.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Demon, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Deadlord, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Violent, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Witch, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman, Ghostbuster, Exorcist, King, Soldier, Bird Wings, Failed Vessel, Of the Corn, Valentian, Harem, Car, Incubus, National Personification, Gravity Magic, Kraken, Zora, Kirby, Moon, Quadruplets, Unnoticed, Inventor, Bastilio's Kid, Treasure Hunter, Future, Mind-Swapping, Criminal, Hunter/Tracker, Biker, Gigantic Sword, Miracle, Medium, Warlord, Greater Good, Acrobat, Mother of Chrom, Soul Stealer, Mid War Memory Loss.
Regenerating Robin suggested by DetectiveChikenWing and Laughing Dog, Boxer Robin suggested by Guest, and Mute Robin suggested by Vanderspiegel. This feels like a combination that warrants a proper title rather than just choosing one of the quirks to be the name of this chapter. Maybe… Inevitable Robin? It'll make sense in a bit.
Going for the Deadpool/Wolverine kind of stupidly powerful regeneration here.
"Keep shooting!" The archery commander shouts frantically. "Kill the damn thing!"
"It's not dying commander!"
"I know that! Just keep shooting!" He barks. He makes sure his men's backs are turned before he takes off running. He has heard the tales. Ylisse has monsters on their side. They have one of Naga's slaves known as a Manakete, they have the last of the noble taguel. A species they were responsible for slaughtering themselves. Who knows what sort of magic is being used to control the poor thing?
The worst of Ylisse's monsters, however, keeps the form of a man. A man who takes clawed metal gauntlets as his weapon, has eyes as red as a poppy and hair as dark as Naga's soul (if she even has one), is as silent as a graveyard, and as unstoppable as Grima's wrath. The other soldiers call him the Inevitable; a silent killer who charges headlong across the battlefield, never stopping, and not able to be stopped. Arrows can puncture his legs, hammers take out his knees, his body can be incinerated and his head mutilated, but like a monster of an old mythic tale his flesh will pull itself back together, grow new bone from air, and be able to continue his mission within a minute.
Shouts and screams erupt from behind the commander. He risks a look back and immediately wishes he hadn't. The palisade his soldiers had been hiding behind is no defence against the Inevitable. The monster has climbed up the wood, no doubt using those clawed gauntlets of his, and is in the process of tossing the soldiers aside. The monster's eyes are not looking at the soldiers, and instead are fixed on the commander himself. As soon as there is an opportunity to push past the soldiers he does so, and starts a mad dash towards the commander.
The commander has always prided himself on being worthy of his position. He may be a coward, but his archery skills are no joke. Realizing he won't outrun the Inevitable, he pulls up his bow and fires an arrow. The shot flies true, piercing the Inevitable's skull with ease. The monster staggers, but he reaches up and pulls the arrow out, caring not for the blood nor brain-matter that is taken with it. The action seems to paralyze the monster, likely from its brain being ruined, but a moment later the wound closes and the Inevitable starts the chase again.
The commander doesn't stand a chance. One misstep is all it takes. A rock juts out from the hill, hidden by the moss that blends it with the forest floor, and the commander trips. In seconds the Inevitable is upon him, and the commander's dreams of escape die with him.
###
"You shall not escape this time!" Kjelle barks. "Face me! I must test my strength against an appropriate foe!"
Robin mutely shakes his head and ducks behind a tent. Kjelle growls and storms after him.
"You are supposed to be a legend! My mother told tales of the Inevitable! Do not flee!" Kjelle shouts. "I will have my match Robin!"
Robin isn't even looking at her now. He ducks underneath some fabric into a different tent. With her armor on Kjelle can't bend that low and so she dashes around the front, hoping to catch him.
There's a squeak from inside the tent, and the startled voice of Lucina saying "R-Robin!?", but when Kjelle makes it around the front of the tent Robin is already dashing out the front flap.
"Get back here!" Kjelle shouts. Her voice is starting to get deeper, more angry. "Robin!"
Robin pulls the same trick not ten seconds later. This time he ducks into Tiki's tent and judging by the laugh Kjelle hears she must be amused; a start difference from Lucina's shock.
That's not the last time Robin does this either. Five times in a row Robin ducks into someone's tent in a bid to evade Kjelle. Lucina, Tiki, Ricken and Miriel, Say'ri, and lastly the supply tent.
It's the supply tent where Kjelle loses him. He doesn't come out the front, and Kjelle storms inside. She's just in time to see the side canvas fall back into place from someone ducking under it. She's not fast enough to move outside and chase him, and she suspects a moment later that he simply ducked into another tent.
"You've gotten away this time, but I will have my battle." Kjelle seethes. "You can't escape me forever Robin!"
###
"Robin." Chrom says slowly. "I received some complaints from the other Shepherds."
Robin sighs deeply, clearly anticipating that this conversation was going to happen. He shrugs slightly and grimaces at Chrom, then stands up straight with a sten expression and mimes pointing a spear at someone, then pointing to himself.
"Yes, I know Kjelle challenged you to a duel again." Chrom sighs. "That's not an excuse to duck into people's tents."
Robin grimaces and grabs the air in front of him, then shakes his hands as if he's shaking a person.
"I know she's stubborn." Chrom sighs. "Look, if she doesn't listen you can always come to me. Or Sully for that matter. Or you could just take the duel and she'll leave you alone. Why won't you duel her anyhow?"
Robin makes a series of gestures including a clawing motion, a consistent and severe snarl, and several forceful punches… and Chrom has no idea what it means.
"You want to kill her…?" He ventures hesitantly.
Robin gives him a flat look. Of course it's not that.
"The thought makes you feel like punching something?"
A shake of Robin's head. Not that either.
"I don't know then, but I'll assume you have a reason." Chrom sighs. "Just don't duck into people's tents, please? Say'ri accused you of attempted theft, and Lucina thought you were checking her things because you don't trust her."
Robin sighs again. He waves to show his understanding and turns around.
"Oh, and Miriel wanted me to tell you that now, she doesn't know how to make an invisibility potion."
Robin hangs his head in disappointment. There goes that plan.
"And please don't use potions to avoid Kjelle."
Robin sulks out of the tent. Sometimes he wonders if Chrom is really on his side. Maybe next time he can hide with Tiki. She didn't seem to mind when he ducked into her tent.
Then Robin considers all the rumors that would fly around if he started to do that consistently. Another plan down the drain. Why is avoiding Kjelle so difficult?
###
"Monsters! Ylisse has fielded their monsters!" The scout shouts. "Three dragons and the Inevitable have taken the field!"
"Validar wants us to fight this?" The general grimaces. "We'll be decimated. He gave us an impossible mission…"
"All the more glory when you win then, no?" The sorcerer beside him smiles. "Come now, General, don't disappoint our King, and don't disappoint Grima…"
The general couldn't care less for Grima, or gods in general. One manipulative dragon is no better than the other as far as he's concerned. Still, the sorcerer unfortunately has a point. Fleeing this battle is just as much a death sentence as fighting it. He may as well take the path that has a greater chance of survival: facing the Ylissians.
"I'm sorry men. I have to ask you to do the impossible alongside me." The general grimaces. "Men! Ready the ballistae! Draw your bows and axes! Plegia lives and dies with us! To arms!"
"To arms!" The cry is echoed through the ranks by hundreds of voices. "For Plegia!"
"For Grima…" The sorcerer chuckles. They draw a purple tome from the depths of their robe. "Victory or loss, life or death, the fell dragon shall benefit. No need for the grave face General. Your death would perhaps be more useful than your life ever was to our lord."
The General silently chooses to ignore the sorcerer. Nothing good can come from listening to the ramblings of the Grimleal. At least the Naga faithful pretend to be sane.
Across the battlefield another conversation is happening; one much less grim but no less serious.
"It's not that I don't trust your assessment Robin, but are you sure it is wise to assign only you, Tiki, Nah, and Nowi to the center? Surely Plegian troops will manage to get past you."
Robin rolls his eyes to the sky. This again? He's already told Chrom before-
"I assure you, we will be more than sufficient." Tiki says calmly. "We will create a wall of fire with our breath, Exalt Chrom, and the reserve troops will be more than enough to pick off the few that do get past. Is that correct Robin?"
Robin nods. At least someone gets it. Tiki is a godsend!
Well… a godchild technically. So maybe a godsend in a literal sense? Is Naga truly a god or just a powerful dragon?
This is not the time to ponder this question.
"That is absurd!" Kjelle interrupts. "If you wish to ensure none will get by, you must choose me! I am a wall! I have even occasionally bested Lucina in battle!"
"That's all well and good…" Tiki says soothingly. "Your ability is not in question. It is the spread of our fire breath that resulted in us manaketes being chosen."
"I would hear Robin speak himself! It is simple for you to justify your own inclusion!"
Robin nods and puts a hand on Tiki's shoulder, showing his support of her words. Kjelle stops in her tracks, then lowers her head and grimaces.
"I see. My apologies." She says through gritted teeth. The girl turns around and stalks back to the other future children.
Robin breathes a sigh of relief. He pats a mildly confused (if amused) Tiki on the shoulder in thanks.
"Fine then." Chrom sighs. This seems absurd, sending only four units to act as an entire flank of the battlefield. If Robin insists though, Chrom will listen. He took out a fleet by using exploding ships after all. "Frederick, sound the horn. It's time for us to march."
"Yes Milord." He gestures to a soldier nearby, and a moment later a horn sounds.
Leading an army still feels unnatural to Chrom. He much preferred it when he was only in command of the Shepherds. Now that position has passed to Lucina as both he and Robin are occupied with the army as a whole. Robin still makes the strategy of course, but it is up to Lucina to deal with exact tactics. Thankfully she has Laurent for that, because Lucina is just as hopeless as Chrom when it comes to planning.
Alas, he can no longer lead the charge with the Shepherds. Chrom has to act as the source of morale for the army. At least Robin can still be on the front line due to his unique ability.
The Ylissian army takes one unified step forward, then another. The sound of their footsteps rolls over the sands. Robin and the manaketes leave for the front lines to fill the big obvious hole in the middle of the army's formation. The Shepherds move off to the east, tasked with securing a particularly tricky fort to help prevent the army from being outmaneuvered and flanked.
"Milord. We must get moving."
"Of course. Follow me Frederick."
"Yes Milord."
"There's only four of them. How cocky." The general thinks. "Of course, those four are monsters. Perhaps I'm the one being cocky to assume such a thing is a weak point."
It's disturbing. The man at the front of the formation looks relatively normal despite wearing a tactician's cloak to battle. It's only his bizarre choice of weapon that truly gives him away. The other three don't even look like combatants. Two are little girls, one dressed up like a doll and the other in clothes for someone far older than her. The last one, the so-called Voice of Naga, looks nothing like the divine priest she's supposed to be. You'd think someone in such a high position would wear something more than an outfit befitting a concubine. Such an outfit seems more fit to entice than convey status or attract reverence!
"Perhaps Naga's higher priests are just as obviously crazy as the Grimleal." The general thinks. It's not like the sorcerer next to him is wearing much either. No matter though. "Mages, dark mages, aim to the center! I want those monsters dealt with! Everyone else, advance!"
The fight goes well… for Ylisse. As it turns out, the presence of dragons alone keeps many Plegian troops well clear of the center. No one wants to stare down one dragon, much less three and an unstoppable killer to boot.
"This is no fun Robin!" Nowi whines. "There's no one to burn! We're on a battlefield, there should be tons of people to burn! Can I-"
"You can't leave. Our presence here is what holds the center." Tiki reprimands. "Stay focused Nowi."
"Boo…"
Robin sighs in relief. If he can leave controlling Nowi to Tiki, he can do his own job properly. He has a general to kill. It's just a matter of finding the man. Then he'll leave the manaketes behind to hold out until he can kill the man.
Finding the general is rather easy too. No one has seemed to realize that the best way to stop Robin is to simply not get spotted. He could use his time killing normal soldiers but that would be a waste of his skills.
Robin raises his hand to alert the manaketes. Once he gets an affirmative from them, he takes off running. This battle is as good as over now that the Plegian general has been found.
There are a few obstacles between Robin and the general, like a wall of armor knights, but that's little matter. Robin doesn't bother trying to attack the knights at all. He leaps as high as he can, landing on the wide helmet of one of the knights, and uses that to leap over the rest of their ranks. Behind him he can hear the manaketes roaring and starting to spit fire. Looks like someone decided to engage them.
The general is standing on a tall sand dune looking over the battlefield. Robin scrambles up the dune and knocks aside a few of the archers positioned near the bottom. He's vaguely aware of flux spell smacking into his back, but that's negligible.
"Monster!" The general growls as Robin approaches. The man picks up a large axe that was lying nearby. "Inevitable or not, today you will meet your end!"
Robin has to give the general points for keeping his composure. That's rather rare in people who know what he can do. He would converse back, but he doubts the general has the patience at the moment to play charades. So instead Robin brings up his fists and lunges. The general has armor, but not the heavy armor you'd expect of an armor knight. He is a general as a position, not the unit type. Robin's spiked metal gauntlets should be able to punch through this thinner metal armor or just find purchase in the unarmored joints meant for flexibility.
Now, Robin doesn't hit that hard compared to the general's axe. When the blade smashes into his shoulder it's much more effective than his paltry smack to the man's torso. That said, Robin has regeneration and the general does not. This fight has a forgone conclusion.
For each successful hit Robin lands the next hits are easier to make. A punch that lands on the inside of the man's elbow makes it more difficult for the general to move that arm. Another punch smacks his shoulder, having the same effect on the other arm. A hit to the hip, a scratch on the face. The general is slowing.
Forget finess now. Robin only needs to tire the man out. His carefully aimed punches devolve into wild slashes with the claws on his gauntlets, scouring the armor for those unguarded areas they can find purchase and tear flesh.
The general's fall is almost anticlimactic. He collapses eventually from blood loss, not from a decisive blow. For all his injuries the general deftly managed to avoid a crippling hit for an extended amount of time. A solid fighter for sure.
The general is dead, but the army doesn't surrender. It doesn't take long for Robin to figure out why. The soldiers fight with the fervor of men without anything to lose, possibly because they don't expect to survive. So many of them give cries of "For Plegia!" or more crude things like "Death to the Ylissian bastards!". Some men even make suicide rushes into Ylissian lines to create openings for other soldiers to rush in.
"The general was irrelevant here." Robin realizes dully. "There's no rhyme or reason. Just a bloodlust to kill as many of us as possible."
The battle is a sweep. The reckless tactics of the Plegian army make the battle easier than it would have been otherwise.
###
"Do not hide behind another!" Kjelle snarls. "Fight me Robin! I will test my strength!"
Robin shakes his head. This girl is stubborn! Why can't she take a hint? He tries to hide even more behind the woman he's using as a shield.
"Oh dear." Tiki smiles. "I see the issue now Robin. She is quite intent, is she not?"
"You stay out of this!" Kjelle barks. "This is between me and Robin!"
"You are both in my tent." Tiki points out. "So this involves me now."
"Then kick him out! I'm only in here because he came in here!" Kjelle snaps.
"I don't think I will." Tiki smiles. "Now please move along, Robin does not want to spar with you."
"Do not speak for him! I would hear him-"
"You have not seemed inclined to listen to him so far, and so I am intervening." Tiki says calmly. "So please; leave."
Kjelle stares down the woman with fury etched into her face. She moves the glare to Robin, then slowly stalks out of the tent.
Robin breathes a sigh of relief. He pats Tiki gratefully on the shoulder.
"These children are quite something, aren't they?" Tiki chuckles. "So much to prove. To others, to themselves…"
Robin nods silently.
"Well, with the excitement out of the way I think I'm going back to sleep." Tiki hums. She flops down on her bedroll without further prompting. "You… are welcome to stay… as long as you wish…" Tiki mumbles. "Wake me for dinner please…"
Robin nods again, though Tiki obviously cannot see him. He gratefully takes her up on the offer and sits himself in the far corner of her tent and pulls out a book on tactics. He's barely been able to read with all the interruptions he's been getting.
He's so engrossed in reading both of them end up being late to dinner.
This one is all over the place. Touching on so many different topics and subjects. It was fun though. This was originally planned to involve Kjelle a little more, but she's just… ugh… she's like Sully or Leonie, and neither of those are fun characters. Annoying training junkies. Not horrible or anything, I don't hate them, they're just not easy to write in a way that doesn't have me sneering in distaste every time they speak.
Okay, maybe an exaggeration, but Kjelle and characters like her do rub me the wrong way. Incidentally, Tiki is great.
Izunama: Okay, maybe it's more like a cup of chunibyu. Sue me.
Takedo: Indeed it is! A bit more so than expected actually.
bauers374: Owain/Robin was considered. Mostly didn't go with it because I wanted to get Kellam out of the way.
Bakururu: I have to admit it's a cool power. It's also very flexible, which I appreciate as a writer.
Raj8: Believe it or not, both Robin and Kellam being people who wanted to be "noticed" as a theme was entirely unintentional until about halfway through the chapter.
B1ackAshes: :D
Cyberchao X: Thank you!
Chuunibyou is a fun personality to write. Owain, some aspects of Cynthia and Henry… all the most fun characters in Awakening have some level of chunibyu in them.
Guest: Hmm… not sure how to translate that into something I'll remember later. Also, as a combat-focused quirk there's not a whole lot I can do with it on it's own. I'll note it down though.
jordanlink7856: Thank you. I try my best.