Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
Minor: Dark Flier, Immortal, Exploitive, Swordmaster, Tripping, Perpetual Cheer, Chef, Blacksmith, Pegasus Knight, Teacher, Librarian, Masochist, Literal-Minded, Authoritative, Phobia, Thicc, Tsundere, Damsel in Distress, Gangrel's Child, Communist, Bomber, Bear Cavalry, Flying, ADHD, Super Strength, Patriotic, Sassy, One Liner, Seamstress, Shephard, Speedy, Cool, Shy, Bookworm, Sweet, Kung Fu, Buff, Lazy, Wingless Flight, Blunt, Elf, Dwarf, Scottish, Melancholic, Punny, Dark Mage, Dragoon.
Standard: Elemental, Deaf, Nurse/Medic, Valmese Tactician, Medusa, Gift from Validar + Evil to Good, Mimic, Emotionless, Crippling Overspecialization (Idiot Savant), Coward, ESP, PTSD, Magician, Handicapped, Secret Helper, Morpher, Dreamwalker, Twins, Animal Whisperer, Tiki Assistant, Deadly Touch, Mind Reader, Doppelganger, D&D magic, Dominatrix, Songstress, Kinky, Matchmaker, Androphobic, Illusionist, Ring Maker, Teleporting, Crippled, Depressed, Slave, Love Curse, Geokinetic, Trauma, Siren, Changeling, Shapeshifter.
Unlikely: Chrom's child, Minotaur, Paladin, Werewolf, Future Soldier, Bounty Hunter, Weather control, Kleptomaniac, Druid, Steampunk, Shadow Familiar, Magic Augmentation, Lucky, Exile, Piper (Charmer), Gladiator, Witch Doctor, Centaur, Drunk, Punk, Harpy, Revenant, Luck Manipulation, Demon Summoner, Megalomaniac, Kitsune, King of Plegia, Mood Ring, Reverse Aging, Hammerspace, Prostitute, Demon Hunter, Cyborg, Rebellion, Einherjar, Trap, Yandere, Living Weapon, Size Shifter, Queen of Plegia, Gluttonous, Stretchy, Alchemist, Protoss, Spirit Manipulation, Invisible, Plegian Honor Guard, Mecha, Kryptonian, Creator, Orc, Memory Stealing Respawn, Racer, Khan, Misfortune, Vampire Hunter, Imaginary Actualization, Death, Resurrection, Force, Merchant, Background Music, Variable, Civilian, Natural Disaster, Mental Noise Projection, Hidden OP, Summoner, Cyclops, Teleporter, Cryokinetic, Genie, Judge, Intangibility, Fortune Teller, Serial Killer, Magic Fixit, Drakengard Restoration, Ying-Yang, Childhood Friend, Cyberpunk, Chrom's Mother, Obsessed, Berserker, Phase Shift, Gravity Manipulation, Hallucinating, Bladesoul, Zombie, Double Entendre, Shared Body/Two Souls, Cannibal, Violent, Waterbender, Casanova, Cupid, Undertaker, Master Thief, Guard, Faceless, Shadow, Age Control, Cradle Snatcher, Emo, Nun, Courier, Haunted Knight Armor, Egyptian, Sentient Object, Shit Lord, Court Wizard, Naga's sibling, Mad Queen, Artist, Predator, Cheshire Cat, Radio Host, Chimera, Wendigo, Symbiote, Hivemind, Hammerspace, Anna, Mother Nature, Psychopath, Stripper, Painting, Grima Parts, Knightmare, Super, Swimsuit, Bunny Outfit, One Punch, Idol, Chef, Rampage, Housewife, Determination, Vessel of Naga, Instant Expert, Time Travel, Hermit, Alternate Dimension 'Twin', Legendary, Resistance, Memory Regain, Umbra Witch, Naga, Aquatic, Hexblade Warlock, Dragon, Demon of Choice, Demon of Temptation, Affliction, Good Samaritan, Gallant, Rosannite Tactician, Leeroy, Dungeon, Apparition, Unwilling, Wildlife Commander, Consistent Kidnapee, Grenadier, Magic Creature, Alternating Mind Control, Sothis in the Mind, Exalt, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Star Lord, Slenderman, Bird Laguz, Junk Dealer, Gate Guardian, Shaman, Ghostbuster, Exorcist, King, Soldier, Bird Wings, Failed Vessel, Of the Corn, Valentian, Harem, Car, Incubus, National Personification, Gravity Magic, Kraken, Zora, Kirby, Moon, Quadruplets, Unnoticed, Inventor, Bastilio's Kid, Treasure Hunter, Future, Mind-Swapping, Criminal, Hunter/Tracker, Biker, Gigantic Sword, Miracle, Medium, Warlord, Greater Good, Acrobat, Mother of Chrom, Soul Stealer, Mid War Memory Loss, Reverse Memory Loss, Sentient Item, Necron, ARMS, Naga's bride, Titan Sinkhole, Squire, Anti-Magic, Tomesmith, Dimensional Traveler, Falchion, Unbreakable Shield, Many Robins, Muscle, Fearful Knight, Narcoleptic, Big Eater, Aversa's Sister/Mother/Daughter, Evelynn, Witch, Frankenstein, Mirage.
I think I've done this before in some capacity, but I didn't play into it as hard. I also have no idea what to call this.
Another goofy chapter.
Anna will admit she's never seen someone use a giant lantern as a weapon. Then again, she's never seen a cauldron-sized lantern before, and she's seen some weird things in her time.
"Lighten up!" The man cries, and (with an understated amount of strength) shot-puts his huge lantern into a bandit's face. The impact of such a heavy object colliding with their skull totally kills the guy, and somehow the lantern manages to land perfectly upright behind the new corpse. A (likely magical) flame burns bright in the middle of the huge, dark-grey container.
With his "weapon" out of his hands, the man proves to be no less skilled for it. He leaps fearlessly at his opponents, making use of metal gloves and bracers to bat aside their weapons. When he's closed the distance enough, he strikes out with devastating punches, kicks, and a fair number of grab attacks. He's strong enough and fast enough to grab some bandits by their shirts or armor and hurl them into other bandits before he can be punished for it.
The absurdity is taken up another level when the man leaps into the air, far higher than any normal human being should be able to, and crashes down on a bandit with his legs split just far enough to wrap his legs around their neck, which is then followed by him bending fully over backward, digging his fingers into the dirt, and somehow throwing the man over him with just the strength of his core muscles and legs.
That isn't the only absurd move he makes, but if Anna has to point out every weird move the man made, she'd be talking for hours.
"Come on!" The man cries after taking out a few of the bandits. He's standing on top of his lantern (Anna can't believe those words actually just crossed her thoughts) and beckoning the rest of the bandits with a wide, almost mad, grin on his face. "Come face the consequence of your actions! I'll make you see the Light-!" he punctuates this with a stomp on the lantern for some reason "-one way or another!"
The bandits all exchange terrified and baffled glances, and promptly start fleeing. The man doesn't start chasing them, instead choosing to pose dramatically atop his lantern while sneering after them.
Anna has an internal debate over if she should approach is weirdo or not. On one hand, he's crazy. He fights with a lantern after all. On the other hand, he's crazy, so it might be easy to get him to buy something.
She can't very well turn down a possible sale, now can she? What sort of Anna would she be if she did?
So, praying this won't go poorly, Anna puts on her best service smile and approaches the man. "That was quite the showing! I have to thank you for dealing with those bandits, they're a terrible nuisance to merchants like myself."
"You are quite welcome, random citizen!" The man says. He's tall, muscled, brown-haired and green-eyed, and doesn't seem to want to wear a shirt (though he does have an unbuttoned longcoat on. "The Robin is always eager to show villains the Light!" He pats his lantern as he says this, and Anna heavily suspects the Lantern is named "the Light". Also, he calls himself "the Robin"? What sort of lunatic is she talking to?
"As thanks for your trouble, how about I offer you a discount?" Anna says. "I've got all sorts of goods! Weapons, food, fabric, trinkets; you name it, I have it! And if I don't have it, I can get it!"
"Alas, the only thing the Robin desires is out of reach of any merchant!" The man says. "Unless you have lost memories in your wagon of wonder, there is little you can do for me."
Anna opens her mouth to protest, there has to be something he needs, but he picks up his lantern and waves at her as he walks away.
"Until we meet again, citizen! Never forget the day the Robin graced your life!"
Anna stares after him, and decides maybe she was better off not trying to sell something to him. Having a nutcase for a customer is risky business.
###
When Anna met the Robin, she thought she'd never see him again. He'd be a footnote on her trip up through Ylisse all the way to northern Ferox.
But oh no, fate had something else in mind. It had decided she wasn't allowed to make profits undisturbed. That was just too much to ask.
Though maybe it was her fault for intentionally taking a route known to have brigand problems. She thought she could handle it. She was expecting maybe a dozen brigands, not close to fifty, and she wasn't expecting to be the sole line of defence between a village and those fifty brigands.
This is why she doesn't usually play hero! You get into stupid situations like this. She doesn't want to throw her life away for nothing! She was thinking she could fight off a few people and get a reward for it, not make a last stand in knee-high snow, stabbing brigand after brigand and taking swigs of her concoction between foes to heal up the cuts she inevitably sustains.
"This is the last time I play hero. I have to stop intentionally going through brigand routes." She gripes silently. "Ugh, but I get so much free stuff…"
She can taste how much money is in the pockets of all these corpses at her feet. It tastes like gold. Gold from all the merchants and travellers they've robbed. This could be a serious payload!
An arrow sinks into her thigh, and once again Anna regrets not purchasing that Levin Sword off her sister last time she was in Ylisstol. Now she has to charge through the snow to kill this archer rather than simply zapping him.
After impaling the archer on her sword, Anna takes another swig from her concoction and then tosses it aside. She should have brought more than one.
"Fear not, flock member!" A familiar, dramatic voice calls out. "The Robin is here to bring the Light!"
Apparently shirts are optional for him even in northern Ferox, because the man is still only wearing a longcoat on his upper body. He barrels through the snow, totally unhindered, and swings his huge lantern overhand onto the head of a brigand, crushing the man's skull. This is followed by a spin to backhand an approaching brigand with his lantern, and a sharp back-kick to halt a myrmidon trying to sneak up on him (followed by crushing his skull with the lantern, obviously).
"What fortune for you, lady of the Anna tribe! We meet once more! You meet the Robin face-to-face, more than once! What a loyal flock member you are, following my epic journey across the continent!"
Oh joy, he remembers her. The one time she wants to be unidentifiable due to her family is the one time the person in question can actually tell the difference.
"Just a second- Flaming Eagle!" He cries, flipping into the air and throwing his lantern down onto a brigand's skull (the lantern lets out a trail of flame as it travels, as if on command) and then Robin sticks a perfect landing onto his lantern with his arms spread and lets out a cawing noise.
If Anna had any doubt this man was crazy, it's gone now. He names his own attacks. Anyone who seriously names their attacks has to be crazy.
"Hawk strike!" He shouts, making another large jump with his legs firmly kept together and slashing with his metal gloves as he lands in front of his next target. It's a weird-looking attack, but somehow it works and he blinds his target by scratching their face. He follows up with a sharp kick to their shins, rips their axe out of their hand, and buries the axe into their chest.
Everything about him is unnecessarily flashy. He doesn't just run back to his lantern, he does consecutive backwards handsprings until he lands back on top of it.
Anna also notices that he brought help. There are a dozen much more normal warriors charging across the snow. She can see a great knight with the tell-tale intricate armor plates and more pointy design on the arm-guards of Ylissian armor (compared to the more rounded and simple Valmese style).
So thank Naga there are some people who aren't crazy here to help, even if she has no idea what Ylissians are doing this far into Ferox.
Over the course of the next half an hour the Ylissians deal with the brigands, and Anna has to fend off fewer attacks on the village (which is also partly thanks to the Robin intercepting most brigands that attempt to approach), and by the time forty-five minutes have passed Anna hasn't seen a brigand in multiple minutes, and the Ylissians seems to be regrouping and approaching the village.
Anna is relieved to find out the leader of the group, the crown prince of Ylisse no less, is much less crazy than the Robin (who's name, apparently, is Robin. He literally added "the" before his name to make it a title; how unoriginal).
Apparently Robin is a tactician, though Anna has no idea how someone as crazy as him could actually come up with battle tactics.
###
Coming with the Shepherds was the logical choice, really. They're a consistent way to make weapon and vulunary sales, and they all but eliminate the need for her to pay for her own room and board, and their wide-ranging travel means plenty of business opportunities. It also means more frequent scrapes with death, but really, what's that compared to guarantee profit?
The most unique benefit, however, has to be Robin. Before he was an oddity, but with a bit of creativity he might as well print money.
"Step right up to see the Robin taking on your local legend, Big Jim!" Anna calls out. "Fight starts at eight, and admission is only five copper per person!"
Five copper is a massive amount for these poor farmers, but if they can be convinced that the event is something worth seeing, usually she can squeeze the money out of them. Better yet, she's not even selling a product! This comes at literally no cost to her! It's practically free money! She can see Robin's events right alongside her normal wares!
Better yet, Robin enjoys the extra publicity and doesn't even ask for a cut of the profits. She's never met someone so gull- reasonable in her entire life! She just has to find him someone to square off against and he'll happily engage in a wrestling or martial arts match against them as a way to "grow his legend" as he puts it.
While she might find his antics weird, crowds, especially young children, drink up his performances like alcoholics do beer. Again: free money. Better yet, the more he performs, the more people hear of him, and the more people will pay to see him perform in the future.
The only disappointing fact is that he can't use his lantern when not actually trying to kill someone (because a solid hit from that thing will absolutely murder anyone it hits; even armored opponents have been killed outright by one good hit).
Ahh well, that's a small price, and it's not like people haven't seen him fight Risen using the lantern.
This was a weird chapter to write, if not a particularly difficult one. I say it's odd because Robin is very much seen from an outside perspective here. Even when I use other POV characters (as with most female Robin chapters), Robin's mindset is usually still explored, but I found this chapter worked better when that didn't happen, which is something I usually reserve for monstrous or inhuman Robins. Again, not difficult, and maybe not even that unusual, but it's of interest for me at least.
Took some inspiration from Skullgirls' Beowulf for this Robin.
RedNephilim: Crazy Robins are a treat to write, and also very easy.
I'm actually not that fond of Inigo, at least, not in Awakening.
TheForgottenSpartan: I have no idea how I'd handle a romance between these two. As much as they sort-of fit the usual assertive/timid dynamic I tend to write, Inigo is just plain difficult for me to manage (mostly because I have difficulties with flirty male characters).
wAKAKAKAKAKAKA: Probably not, but I'll put it down anyways.