XP4 Heroes Coalition - Mission Chronicles Chapter 34: DAN ARMY vs Xenomorphs, a x-overs fanfic

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Tales of the Multiverse Bit 138

Welcome to the Dimensional Defense Union's main base operation!

After the mission Zamrznjena, the ALPHA Squadron brought the Combo Rangers at the DDU Dome in the planet Allianz in hopes of helping the kids get back to their home planet.

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The City of Ikebukuro.

A commercial and entertainment district of Tokyo and the largest city in Toshima ward. It is also home to many myths, including the headless Black Rider who rides a noiseless pitch-black motorcycle, strange people, including an underground doctor in love with a monster, a sushi-selling Afro-Russian, an emotionally detached serial slasher and movie star, and a serial killer who wears bizarre movie costumes, and the infamous "color gangs" that fight for territory in the city.

That night in the city of Ikebukuro, we see Dan Mandel walking down a pavement with a box of milk in his right hand and a grocery bag with a box of cookies inside in his left hand, and he is currently wearing his black t-shirt with the word "JERK" written on it, white pants and black shoes.

Unbeknownst to the jerk, a strange creature is seen following him from the shadows.

"Another horrible day." Dan grumbled in annoyance before smiling, "Made slightly better with cookies and special lactose-free milk." he reassured while patting the carton of milk.

The strange creature then cuts off the bottom part of the grocery bag with it's claws before stealing the box of Miss Alps Chocolate Chip Cookies. Then, hidden in the bushes, the creature eats one of the cookies before spitting it out.

"Hiss! Hiss! Hiiiissss!" the creature let's out a disgusted hiss.

Dan began drinking the milk straight out of the box when the creature throws a sharp fang towards him which cuts the box in half, making it explode on the process.

"Hey! What the-!" Dan exclaimed in shock while being drenched in milk.

Then a woman walks-by pass him, "Umm, drinking problem much?" she asked with an amused tone.

"There wasn't even a verb in that sentence!" Dan argued in annoyance, "Just a lousy gerund." he grumbled before looking at the sharp fang on the concrete before picking it up, "Where did that sharp tooth came from?" he questioned before shrugging his shoulders and then dropping the fang back on the ground, "Oh, well." he uttered in assurance, "At least I still have my cookies." he reassured before reaching down the bag but only to discover that the bottom had been cut off and his cookies are gone, "What the?!" he gasped before peeking through the bag's hole, "I can't believe this!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

Dan then picks up the fang again, he stares at it for a few minutes before, "XENOMORPHS!" he yelled in anger which echoes through out the city.

bzzzttt...

The next day in the city of Ikebukuro, we see a RV driving around the streets and inside are the members of the DAN ARMY which consists of Brick McArthur, Chris Pearson, Dan Mandel, Denton "16 Years Old" Gibson, Elise Pearson, Honne Nohotoke, Isamu Oohori, Kafuu, Mandy Rosal, "Ninja" Dave Bauza, Shuuhei Shinozaki and Trixie Lulamoon, with Chris driving the wheel.

Chris is currently wearing a black leather jacket over a white shirt, blue pants and brown sandals. Right next to him is his wife Elise whom is currently wearing her white t-shirt with red cuffs, blue hip-hugger jeans and red & white sneakers.

"So let me get this straight...'' Elise uttered, "You were attacked last night by a Xenomorph?'' she concluded in disbelief.

"Yes! I was attacked by a Xenomorph!" Dan confirmed in annoyance, "Do I have to repeat myself?!" he exclaimed angrily from his seat.

Chris turns to him, "A Xenomorph?'' he questioned.

"Chris! Eyes on the road!" Elise exclaimed in panic.

Chris looks back in front before swerving the RV to the side which narrowly dodges a truck, much to everyone's relief before Dan's best friend spoke again, "Are you sure it was a Xenomorph?" he asked again.

"Of course!" Dan confirmed, "It stole my cookies and exploded my lactose-free milk!" he complained.

Denton let's out a chuckle, "Hehe, oh, how I love to see that." he mused and is currently wearing his blue jacket over a white shirt, dark-blue jeans and red & white sneakers. He then earned a smack at the back of the head courtesy of Brick, "OW!" he yelped in pain.

Brick is currently wearing a gray fitting t-shirt, black cargo pants and dark & shiny military boots.

Honne tilted her head, "Do all Xenomorphs do that?'' she asked and she is currently wearing her standard IS uniform with an over-sized sleeves.

"This one did." Dan replied.

"But how..." Chris uttered, "How did you it was a-" he was about to ask again but was interrupted.

"It was black and scaly!" Dan rudely interrupted, "And it had a long tail!" he added.

"It was just probably an Emotionless, we have yet to rid them all in this city after all" Mandy pointed out and she is currently wearing a white jacket crop top over a black midriff top, white ladies boy shorts and white knee-high boots.

"I'm not talking about an Emotionless, I'm talking about a Xenomorph!" Dan insisted, "Plus, I didn't see it." he said, "Ergo - Xenomorph.'' he clarified.

"If you didn't see it..." Denton spoke, "... then how do you know it was a Xenomorph?" he questioned and when Dan couldn't find an answer to his question, the jerk just grabbed Denton's drink before throwing it outside the RV, "Hey! Not cool!" he exclaimed while Kafuu chuckled in amusement.

Kafuu is currently wearing a yellow open Hawaiian shirt over a white top, a tropical Hawaiian short pants and black sandals.

"What's not cool is that you're trying to confound me with your stupid logic when what I need is help with this problem!" Dan stated.

"I don't throw your drinks!" Denton argued.

"May Trixie interrupt?" Trixie interrupted and she is currently wearing an orange track jacket over a pink shirt, purple jeans and white shoes, "Because Trixie is wondering..." she uttered, "... where are we going?'' she asked.

"We're going to the Xenomorph's hideout!" Dan answered.

"Xenomorph's had hideouts?" Ninja Dave asked in confusion and he is currently wearing a traditional ninja attire including the mask.

"Cool~" Oohori and Shinozaki uttered in awe and both of them are wearing their usual attires.

"Wait a minute!" Elise interjected, "Where in the world did you get the idea of a Xenomorph having a hideout?!" she asked indecorously.

"I talked to a very, VERY shady guy last night and told me that there's a Xenomorph hideout in this city.'' Dan replied with a blank look.

Mandy raised an eyebrow, "And you believe in him?'' she asked.

"Of course.'' Dan answered, much to everyone's disbelief, "Chris, stop the vehicle, we're here.'' he announced.

The RV then stopped in front of an old abandoned pub as everyone got off the vehicle with Dan walking ahead of them.

Elise then ran towards Dan, "Dan!" she called out, "Listen!" she insisted, "I know that this city is a lot of things but I know it's not infested by aliens!" she exclaimed, "So, I'm telling you right here right now that there are no Xenomorphs in this city!" she declared.

Dan ignored her and kicks the door of the pub open and they were welcomed by the sight of a lot of Xenomorphs occupying the entire pub. But the odd thing about these creatures is that they're occupying the pub like customers, some Xenomorphs are seen sitting by a table playing cards, some are in front of a karaoke booth and some are at a bar, complete with a Xenomorph bartender.

The team, sans Dan, are shock of what they just discovered.

"Oh my God..." Elise uttered in shock, "Dan was right..." she admitted in disbelief.

"Of course, I'm right!" Dan exclaimed before walking forward and then pointing a finger at the creatures, "Hey!" he called out which got the creatures' attentions, "Which of you ugly alien reptiles stole my cookies and exploded by lactose-free milk?!" he demanded.

The bartender Xenomorph responded by throwing a glass aside before pointing it's claws at the team, "Hiisss! Hiisss!" it let's out an angry hiss.

And with that, the Xenomorphs charges at them.

Dan let's out a smirk, "So, that's how you wanna play, huh?" he mused, "All right team, let's go them!" he commanded.

"Do we even had a choice...'' Chris muttered.

And with that, the DAN ARMY charges at their targets as a massive bar fight ensues.

(Play You Be Tails, I'll Be Sonic by A Day to Remember)

The first to attack is Shinozaki, whom brought out a pair of clothes hanger and began to use it like a sword, slicing and stabbing every creatures coming towards him. Shinozaki even threw one clothes hanger like a boomerang, knocking down every creatures on its path and even decapitating one by the neck, the clothes hanger then flew back into Shinozaki's right hand whom smirked in response.

As this is going on, Oohori uppercuts a Xenomorph to the ground before charging forward to another Xenomorph and delivering a clothesline on the creature before following it by a springboard European uppercut which knocked down the creature to the ground. But Oohori wasn't finished, he run towards another Xenomorph and then taking it down with a dropkick before knocking over another Xenomorph with another European uppercut.

Meanwhile, Mandy brought out a silver-colored hand blaster from her jacket and began blasting one Xenomorphs to another via head shot. She then charges towards another Xenomorph before kicking the creature directly on the face which sends it crashing down the floor, she then got on top of the Xenomorph and blast it's head off. She then recharges her weapon with quantum energy before firing a beam towards a group of Xenomorphs, blasting them to pieces.

As this is going on, Denton rushes forward with a grin on his face, "Time to attack!" he exclaimed while jumping and curling himself into ball before literally turning him into a large blue-colored billiard ball, "Super Rolling Speed Ball!" he roared and with intense speed, he began to run down and topple many Xenomorphs into the air while flattening them at the same time by rolling over them.

Meanwhile, Trixie brought out her wand before charging it with Equestrian magic and then proceeds to point her wand at the creatures before shooting out red-colored beams at her targets with different effects such one Xenomorph would turn small, one turns chubby and one would become very thin. Another Xenomorph charges towards her but Trixie casted a spell on herself which created illusions of her which confuses the creature, Trixie then took advantage of the creature's confusion before firing another beam at the Xenomorph turning it into a teacup.

As this is going on, Brick puts on some dark latex gloves before grabbing two Xenomorphs by the tail before lifting them up high and began smashing them on the ground like a ragdoll, after smashing them one last time, he threw the creatures aside. He then noticed Mandy having trouble with a group of Xenomorphs, he then flips a knife before throwing it towards her direction, teleporting him towards her and upon appearing on front of her, Brick brought out a grenade and then tossing it at the creatures, exploding them to pieces.

Brick turns to Mandy whom smiled at him in appreciation.

Meanwhile, we see Kafuu casually walking towards a horde of Xenomorphs and his creepy smile got a lot creepier. He then charges forward with a glowing fist before punching a creature directly on the face which sends it flying, and as this is going on, a light-green aura forms around each of Kafuu's hands which then turn into a claw-like shape before striking down two Xenomorphs with two slashes. Kafuu then turns around and then breathing out a surge of flames, incinerating the creatures on its path.

As this is going on, Honne is seen to be having fun by hopping on the heads on one Xenomorph to another, "Wai! Tanoshii!" she cheered before suddenly a set of claws appeared from underneath her sleeves while letting out a demented smile and began slashing the creatures at the back, killing them instantly. She then drops down and charges forward while swiping her claws, beheading another Xenomorph on the process.

Meanwhile, Ninja Dave brought out a chain-grapple before quickly setting it on fire using his kii powers. He then began to use the chain-grapple as a whip, swiping and tripping many creatures coming towards him while giving them third-degree burns. Ninja Dave then brought out two swords and began to hack-and-slash his way towards the hordes of Xenomorphs, cutting them, slicing them apart and decapitating them on the process.

As this is going on, Elise charges forward with a sword and gun in hand. She aimed her gun at one Xenomorph before shooting it on the head, she then fires a shot towards another one on the chest area, she then jumps forward and landed in front of another Xenomorph. The creature swipes it's claw at her but she blocks it with her sword before jabbing her gun on it's jaws before blowing it's brains out.

Meanwhile, Chris made a mad dash towards a hordes of Xenomorphs before jumping on top a table and then dropping himself towards the creatures with a powerful elbow drop which sends the creatures flying upon impact. Chris then got up and brought lawn mower, via hammerspace, he then charges forward and began mowing down every Xenomorphs coming towards him before smashing the machinery on top of one creature.

As this is going on, Dan charges forward with an army of "Dan" clones towards a hordes of Xenomorphs. One Dan snaps a Xenomorph's neck like a twig while two more Dan teamed up and tears another Xenomorph in half like a piece of paper. As Dan's clones continues to beat up as many creatures, the real Dan is busy pounding the bartender-Xenomorph by brutally punching the creature's face non-stop, deforming it in the process before finishing it by stomping on it's face, crushing the poor creature's head to bits.

Upon witnessing many of their brethren getting annihilated one by one, the remaining Xenomorphs decided to bail the place by escaping through a purple portal.

"Yeah! That's right!" Dan exclaimed in delight, "Run away and never come back, you bastards!" he demanded, "That's what you get for stealing my cookies and exploding my lactose-free milk!" he declared with a face of satisfaction.

After a few minutes later, the team decided to take a rest while cringing at the carnage that they just caused except for Oohori and Shinozaki whom are cheering like idiots and Dan who just don't care.