"TUBES!" Zim declared his answer loudly as the group walked by startling everyone Including Thompson who nearly suffocated by a candy he was eating, Robbie nearly jumped while Dib facepalmed and Gaz looked with a gag.
"WET GESTATING TUBES ALL ACROSS THE SUBTERRANEAN SYSTEM OF THE PLANET FILLED WITH MOIST AND JELLY MULTIPLYING OUR GLORIOUS RACE TO SPREAD OUR GREATNESS ACROSS THE STARS!"
Everyone looked at Zim appalled by his answer while he had mistaken their appalled with awe standing with a dignified stand.
Tambry looked with a wrinkled nose and said what everyone thought sarcastically "That is…the worst thing you could have said, thank you."
"Please stop talking about it…" Mabel had a hand on her face as she cringed hard.
Bug Boy didn't take the hint "YOU sure? I can- "
"Yes yes, we got way too much!" Gaz snapped and shut him up.
Dib sighed and looked at Dipper. "I tried to warn you to not ask him how his species procreates."
Dipper grimley nodded, in hindsight he should have expected such an answer when he asked Zim after he was no longer drunk on how his species procreate considering he showed his disgust to how the 'inferior races' procreate.
"I can never date again." Mabel mumbled to herself as she walked with everyone. "And I thought Grunkle Stan's 'birds and the bees' talk was horrible."
Dib gave a big ha "Ha! You never met our father."
"And this is how humans shoot DNAs at each other during the mating ritual in order to create embryos to parasitically feed off the female carriers!"
Gaz and Dib simultaneously shuddered at that memory.
"He spared no details." Gaz grumbled with a grim visage.
As the group walked in the woods, Robbie caught something shiny. It was a golden amulet with green jewelry at its center sitting near a tree. He curiously grabbed the amulet from its chains and looked at him and said "Hey guys, look at this stupid thing." He then put the thing around his neck while others took notice of it. "It looks stupid! I bet it's worth a lot of money to sell."
Dipper and Dib who were the most inquisitive were the first to notice a small green hue coming from the jewelry which made them widen their eyes and cry out "WAIT– !"
Too late, the amulet glowed green and shot a green shockwave that caused everyone to be thrown away and knocked unconscious, at least unconscious for some moments.
"Aw, the heck…" Wendy woke up and caressed her head and noticed something off, her hands were bigger and her nails she could feel were sharper thus she looked at her hand and saw why. "What…!" her hands were no longer human but hairy with claws canine-like she dragged herself on the Earth to the river that was near her and what she saw made her jump back in shock.
"Whoa! What! Hell!?" Instead of her own reflection it was that of a humanoid canine with brownish-red fur and a snoot wearing her clothes and soon she concluded that humanoid was her, she was a werewolf.
Another groan was heard which she recognized as Robbie who got up. "Ooooh, I'm gonna feel that…'' except he was also changed now looking like a corpse barely having any flesh, mostly skin with his skull's nose apparent and eyes swollen. When the emo and the lumberjack saw each other they with widened eyes looked at each other.
"ROBBIE!?" Wendy exclaimed.
"WENDY!?" Robbie sputtered.
"You're a ghoul!"
"You're a furry!"
"I'm a Werewolf!" the redhead lost her cool and growled with her newly sharp teeths making Robbie startled back with a yelp especially after Wendy who was angry held him by his collar giving him a good look at her teeth "WHAT MADE YOU THINK GRABBING RANDOM OBJECTS IN GRAVITY FALLS OF ALL PLACES WAS A GOOD IDEA!?"
The emo ghoul now feeling unsafe shuttered "I-i-I uh…to make a joke?"
"MORON!" She drops him on the ground after she roared.
They then hear murmuring of someone.
"Why are there toilet papers all over me!?" They looked back and saw Lee wrapped around with ancient-looking bandages as he tried to take them off.
"I think you're a Mummy, Lee." Thompson said who looked like a-
"Thompson?! You look like Frankesten's monster!" Lee exclaimed upon seeing Thompson who was now larger, looked like he was stitched together parts of his body, was green skinned and had these screws circling around his head.
Thompson looked at his hand and began to cry out "Oh no! I'm an undead monster!"
"My legs!" Dipper was now half human while the other part was deer "Aw! ow! Why did I have to turn into a cervitaur with 4 weak legs!?" His lower half was the body of a deer like a centaur but deer not horse and was struggling with having 4 legs and kept falling.
Mabel's transformation was more unfortunate "I can't…breathe..!" She was a mermaid with her fish part being red with orange flippers and was contorting on the ground like a fish out of the water.
"MABEL!" Dipper came near his sister and pushed her to the river nearby
Nate, who got up exclaimed from seeing Gaz's new form "Yahoo!" he reeled back only to see his skeleton hand "Oh no! I've changed too!" Nate was a living skeleton.
Gaz took a look at her own changed body and grunted "Oh great, I'm a gremlin." She said as she looked at her right clawed hand indeed was a purple gremlin with red eyes and sharp teeths.
"Oh sweet! I'm a mermaid!" Mabel excitedly swung her tail around the water.
"Has anyone told you, you're too chirpy for your own good?" Gaz sarcastically told Mabel who paid no mind.
"Uuuuuh…." that voice belonged to Dib
"Ow… my brain never felt so mushed since that Brain-Eating parasite…" and that one belonged to Zim
The remaining group looked back at where Dib and Zim got up and they were slack jawed by what they saw. Even Gaz's eyes went wide from what she saw.
Dib and Zim confused as they got up, turned back to each other and saw each other; somehow they just switched species with Dib now an Irken with a Pak and blue eyes still wearing his trait jacket whereas Zim now was human with no sign of his PAK having actual human nose and ears with pinkish human pigmentation.
Both for moments stared at each other in shell shocked before their screaming begins " AAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEE!" They both screamed their lungs out, jumped back and pointed at each other. It was so loud that it could have been heard across the woods.
"What dumb sonava biscuit casted that!?!?" Wendy blurted out.
And that was when the panicking started.
"This isn't happening! This isn't happening!
This isn't happening! This isn't happening!- " Dib who was now an Irken, now freaking out, was in a fetus position and kept repeating himself desperately hoping that all of this was just a nightmare.
Zim in complete dismay cried out seeing his Irken perfection replaced by repulsiveness of humanity as he looked at his new form from a river's reflection which he quickly left to see.
"NOOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL BODY!" he cried out in dismay to the sky.
Tambry, now a white ghost who was freaking out, quickly updated her status on her phone.
"Status update:I'm freaking out!"
Gir was the only one very pleased by this change as he announced with cheers.
"WEEEE! I'M A REAL BOY NOW!" Gir was now a goblin with long ears, green skin and reptilian eyes jumping up and down like a deranged child.
It didn't help that each of their new bodies has new quirks.
"I CAN'T SEE A THING!" Lee shouted as he tried to open the bandages around his eyes.
Dipper kept falling each time he tried to stand up.
Thompson was having an existential crisis "Oh no! I'm Frakenstein's monster!' ' and considering his newfound size each of his heavy steps was earthquaking in the near approximation of him.
The Ghoul's right arm dropped due to the deterioration making the emo scream in terror "MY BODY IS FALLING APART!!!" Robbie cried out holding his disembodied arm.
Everyone continued to cry out, panicked and ran around only with Gaz standing there looking deadpan and Gir thinking all of these is some sort of sick game jumping and joining the shout match.
Zim bellowed out his utter dismay "I KNEW WE WOULD TURN INTO SUMMERWEENIES! ZIM FORESAW THIIIIIIIS!" he as he bellowed out to the sky was on his knees on the ground with a hand fisted up.
Wendy, seeing all of this, took a deep breath and shouted at everyone to stop panicking " LISTEN TO ME!" thanks to having Manly Dan's genes and being a werewolf her announcement was loud and commanding, making everyone stop whatever they were doing.
"Not freaking…WE ARE CHANGED INTO FREAKING MONSTERS!" Robbie snapped only to then be smacked in the head by Tambry to snap him out which comically caused his right swollen eye to fall making him yelp and then knee down to take it back.
"Panicking won't do any good, Dipper can you deduct anything on the amulet?"
"Allow me." The Pines boy took the amulet off Robbie as he re-attached his arm and eye.
Dipper looked around the paranormal amulet as Mabel and Wendy and there was a tap behind it which wrote 'G. Gleeful',
" Gideon." Wendy, Dipper and Mabel snarled at the same time as they knew who it belonged to.
"I thought he supposedly reformed!" The Pines girl angrily stated.
"Apparently, bad habits are hard to leave." Dipper coldly muttered.
Thompson groaned "Aw man, I thought he went cool!" that caused a few eyebrows at him.
"I'm sorry but who is this Gideon character?" Dib lacking context asked.
Gir had his crazed assumption "OOh! Maybe he's piggy with great hair!"
"He is an absolute pig." Mabel mused with venom in her tone "He's a loser who couldn't take 'no' for an answer and gave everyone a lot of grief over it, me and my fam included."
"And here I thought Robbie was a simping incel." Wendy remarked with distaste.
"HEY!" Robbie did not like that assessment of him.
Tambry snapped at her boyfriend "Oh shut up you! We wouldn't even be in this predicament if it weren't for you!" The ghoul now looked abashed by the glare he was getting from his girlfriend and others and Gaz was making a slithering motion around her neck to send her message which made the Valentino boy shrink a bit.
"And you did spend time in dug graves with my friend's picture moaning how you were the victim."
"Seriously?" Dib, perplexed , asked Robbie who refused to answer that.
Gaz with a condemning cold glare said "Pathetic." making Robbie feel like he was being trashed by the principal. "Sounds like Dib's stalking behavior over Zim." Gaz couldn't but jape at her brother's expense making him look at her with betrayal.
Zim agreed with the purple Membrane "Indeed the Gaz beast is right, Dib worm does have an unhealthy obsession with Zim due to his greatness."
"Oh sit on a cactus, Bug Boy!" The Membrane Boy hissed at Zim.
"ZIM WOULD SIT ON A CACTUS WHEN HE WISHES TO STINKY HEAD!" The Irken like always didn't understand human sarcasm.
Dipper interrupted before Dib and Zim started bickering at each other "Hold on a sec…you and Gideon are friends!? Since when!?" he looked at Thompson with bewilderment at what he meant, something Wendy's gang also found baffling.
"Yeah, why that creepy twerp?" Robbie inquired.
"I'm allowed to have other friends you know." Thompson locked his arms "At least he doesn't coerce me into being the group's clown." he spatted, before any of Wendy's gang could retort, Zim gave a growl of indignation with his now real human teeths.
"THIS giddy human will REGRET invoking the wrath of ZIM!"
"Get in the line Zimmy boy." Mabel bristled with a flap of her tails
Wendy motioned with her hands as she fummed "Oh I'm gonna tear that shrimp a new one once I get my claws on- !"
"WAIT!" Everyone looked back and saw Zim who was locking both of his legs and looked very grim.
"Zim has a…mighty need."
"A need?" Dib repeated what he said.
"Zim feels this strange urge to deflate…like I got too heavy…like I have so much to do."
Dipper and Dib looked at each other knowing what 'need' Zim was talking about.
Flush
That was the flush of a public toilet and a moment later Zim came out who looked haunted by the experience, he dared not to look at his result with very visible utter disgust and grim seen on his face as if he was staring at abyss itself and it decided to stare back with the ugliest form possible.
Dib couldn't stop asking how he felt with a smug smirk"So…how was that for a human experience? Did you have so much to do?"
"I hate you all." Zim snapped, making Dib laugh at his expense and annoy Zim further, didn't help that Dipper was trying hard to control his laughter, while Mabel and others openly laughed and even Gaz gave an amused smirk.
Oh Zim really really loathes this backwater town.
They were now near the town, fortunately since it was Summerween no one bat an eye and thought they were simply wearing costumes thought to be very realistic looking.
There were Melons in the shape of Jack O' lanterns around the house, Halloween decorations and burning paper-maches of a yellow triangle with one eye in the town square which made Dib noticed.
"What's with the yellow triangles with one eye? Is it some freemasonry or illuminati celebration?"
Lee answered him, "That's Bill dude, and it is anything but a celebration of him." the Membrane Boy supposed that would explain the ritual involving burning the triangle figures, it wasn't reverence but revile.
"He doesn't look…particularly threatening." The Membrane boy had to admit despite the description the Pines Twins gave him, seeing Bill's full appearance looking like a Nacho with one eye and a hat did not look threatening at all, but again appearance can be deceiving as he found out the hard way.
"I thought there was a 'Never Mind All That' crap about it?" Gaz questioned as she gave an eyebrow.
Wendy replied with a huff "Yeah it was stupid, because surprise surprise ignoring the issues and threatening with tasers would have ended in full on riots."
"Yeah…it was so bad that the mayor had to dissolve the 'Never Mind All That' act to prevent a full on riot." Dipper continued.
"Robbie and my stooges excuse of friends once even made a cult around Bill with Robbie literally painting Bill around because it was 'edgy'." She moved two fingers of each of her hands up and down to exemplify that making Robbie scratch the back of his head in embarrassment, even he couldn't defend himself over that.
Zim, growing curious of this Bill creature, asked further "This Bill creature is reviled and feared that much?"
"Dude, he once switched the orifices of someone for a laugh even though the said person kinda deserved it." Nate meant that time Bill switched over Preston's orifices for a laugh.
"And he once made a throne out of frozen human agony, including some present here." Tambry finished by mentioning that event as well while gesturing at herself and some of the present company including Robbie whose grimace reminded that he was used as a glorified couch.
Zim had conflicted emotions, from what he heard this Bill creature almost won and was the closest ever to dominating Earth even more than himself and even after his demise he is feared as a mythical demon to get such a reaction from the humans of this backwater town as he thought in envy though he would never admit that while on the other hand he oddly felt…relieved? Probably because he gets to do the Earth dominating instead of some interdimensional nacho that's why! No way it is because of some sort of twisted 'attachment', although he had to admit that the idea of making a throne out of these sorry excuses of a civilization was appealing to him 'Why I never thought of that? A throne made of agonizing hymen worms is worthy of Zim!"
While Zimmy pondered, the group walked and reached Gideon's house.
Inside Gideon's room, he found the joy of fanfiction writing which made him so engrossed that despite wearing a Dracula costume and wanting to join the Summerween like all 'Normal' kids; however, he stayed there losing the concept of time as he wrote with an almost deranged gleeful enthusiasm "And then! Her heart beaten like a drum, blood flushed over her face as the handsome boy held her like a twig!"
CLEAK
The door to his room violently opened revealing a very pissed off variety of monsters making Gidoen screech like a chihuahua.
"AAAAH!"
"What did you do this time!?" Both Dipper and Mabel said at the same time menacingly and clearly very tired of Gideon's crap, that with their monstrous appearance was enough to freak Gideon out so as others' appearance all glaring or in some cases snarling at him or in case of Gir looking at him with a demented glee.
The Gleeful boy raised his hands in surrender "I swear I wasn't making a fanfic about me and Mabel becoming a couple! Her name is Lebam and the fact that it is the reverse of Mabel is a complete accident!"
Mabel and Dipper raised eyebrows at the same time while Gaz faked a gage.
Before anyone could say anything Zim accusingly with a dramatic fashion pointed at the Gleeful boy "YOU!" Gideon looked confused and looked at the only human of the group who for some reason wore a pink skirt. "YES YOU! THE HUMAN-CHIHUAHUA HYBRID!" Zim came at him with heavy steps as he still pointed accusingly at him and seethed. "HOW DARE YOU TO SULLY MY IRKEN PERFECTION BY BECOMING ONE OF YOUR MUD DWELLING PARASITES!?" He erupted in Irken wounded pride.
"I DON'T EVEN KNAW WHO THE HECK' YOU SUPPOSE TO BE!" Gleeful exclaimed in indignation with a hand on his chest. "And why are ya wearing a skirt? If it is a LGBTQ thing then I'm sorry if I cause any offen- "
"IT'S A UNIFORM GIDDY BOY!" Zim screeched in outrage.
"I didn't do anything! Also, hiya Thompson!" he greeted Thompson who upon seeing him awkwardly said "Hi."
"Then care to explain this?" Dipper with a neutral tone held the amulet and showed him the amulet as he held it by its chains.
Gideon looked at the object as realization hit him "Oooh….right, guess that explains a lot." He muttered with a sigh "It was- AH! MY HAIR!" he shrieked, feeling a part of his hair was taken with a push by someone, that someone being Gir What's the matter with ya!?"
Gir chirpped in responded "For my collection, hehehehehehehe." he giggled madly making Gideon reeled back in disturbance.
Dib informed him "Yeah, he does that sometimes, ignoring the now real deranged Pinochio."
"He tried to eat my hand." Robbie deadpan said.
"He ate a baby once." Zim nodded.
"He cooked my head." Dib continued with the same blank expression as others.
"He made me dance and then kissed me." Gaz after recalling that then gave a gagging expression "He tasted like a rusted garbage can and expired Nachos."
The Gleeful looked with even more apprehension toward Gir until he began to explain "So you see, funny story; It was one of my convoluted plans in taking over Gravity Falls which I left when I decided to go straight, that thing couldn't destroy so I left it in the woods hoping that it was lost for good."
"Maybe try burying it underground ten feet down next time." Mabel growled, and she had a transparent water tank attached to her head like a helmet just so that she can walk on land and having a fishtail instead of two legs is very hard.
Gideon pleaded "Mabel my light, I swear I didn't know this would happen! This guy Iggins from whom I got the amulet- "
Gaz upon hearing that suddenly her thoughts derailed and her sharp fingers creaked at the unfortunate wall with a loud screech.
"Iggins?" she uttered, it was more a statement than a question and she was visibly was not happy as she got close to a now nervous Gideon.
"The fudging IGGINS!?" Gaz snarled with her sharp teeths and held Gideon by his collar giving him a close look to her angry reptilian eyes and predatory teeths making him gulp. It didn't take the Pines Twin a genius level of intellect to comprehend that this character also had an unsavory history with the Membranes.
"Eh? Who's this Iggins?" Zim didn't recall.
"What kind of name is that?" Nate found the name to be odd.
"Sounds British." Lee commented.
"Ugh, they make the worst foods." Tambry noted with a 'blah'.
Dib then reminded Zim "Iggins? That weirdo who was arrested for loitering and with bulging eyes?" the alien Invader still didn't remember until Dib rolled his eyes and said "That classmate from when you schemed for School's election?"
"Ah." Zim now recalled.
Dib then continued as he said in surprise, "Never thought of him as the guy who would also be into paranormal stuff."
"Actually now that I think about it, I think I once saw that weasel fly, thought it was my eyes playing tricks." Gaz recalled from her memories after she left Gideon's collar.
"Was that guy a needy crush who couldn't take a no?" Mabel wondered asked Gaz while Gideon felt like he needed to defend himself only to then slouch in defeat.
Gaz grumbled "I wish! Lying sleazy rat lied his way to get the last Game Slayer after annoying me for hours in the line boasting how he is the 'Best Gamer Ever!'"
Wendy uttered unimpressed by this "Gee man, petty much?" That caused Gaz to give Wendy a small glare which the Corduroy girl was unfazed by, making it especially frustrating for the purple Membrane.
Tambry on the other hand had a different opinion "No no, I actually agree with scary."
Mabel shrugged "Eh, from what I heard from Pacifica, Gamers can be very intense, it is like knighthood chivalry but more screaming at each other." Gaz did not know if she should be happy or furious that she is being agreed upon with the Pines girl and the girlfriend of that sorry excuse of an emo who just nicknamed her.
Mabel then had a thought which gave her a mischievous grin, making Dipper who knows his sister well enough to say "Here we go…"
The Pines girl then gave his idea "Well, we are now monsters of the night so why not have some fun? We terrorize Iggins into turning us back; we also terrorize those 'Skool' losers as well!"
"Ohoho that's diabolical. Zim approves!" Zim approved with an evil grin, liking the idea of terrorizing those simpletons for all the harassment he got back in Skool.
Dib wasn't on board with that idea "I'm not sure…"
"No offense dude, but your classmates sound like asses." Wendy told Dib bluntly.
"Real poop heads." Mabel supported Wendy's claim.
"You do realize you would get paid back for all the bullying you got from your classmates right? You can even claim ignorance and call them crazy after the whole ordeal." Gaz also added in, that actually made Dib pause as he recalled all the torments he got from Skool making him change his opinion quickly.
"...screw it, I'm in!"
"What about you fellas?" Mabel asked the rest.
"If it means not being a walking dead that keeps dropping parts of himself then yes." Robbie grumbled as he could swear parts of him fell as he walked around.
"Yeah, I might as well get some fun in it." Tambry agreed.
"You know we're always in for a good prank!" Lee concurs and then he and Nate high fived at each other excited for scheming a new prank.
"Then it's settled then onward!" The Pines girl declared as she went out and then followed by others.
"Oooh I bet his bulging eyes taste like jelly!" Gir beamed wondering what Iggins's eyes taste like.
"Please don't." Dipper blankly told the deranged Pinochio.
Gideon was still in his room awkwardly not knowing if he should join in or not. The only one who hasn't followed was Thompson as he stood there making this even more awkward. "I..I think I should go,"
"Yeah." Gideon agreed.
"Bye."
"Bye."
Thompson went and joined after the awkward goodbye as Gideon then slouched on his chair with a tired sighed no longer in the mood to write his fanfic, the silence was stopped by the sound of his father coming from the other side of the house.
"Giddy, what happened? I thought your friends were supposed to come and take you to the party they talked about."
"PA!" The Gleeful boy pouted at his gullible father, now he knows how the group managed to come in.