Chapter 16 - Privileges

Claire took a step forward. Charlie squeezed her hand, urging her to wait a moment longer.

"Let's stay back," he suggested quietly. "'til Juliet or Sawyer gives the go ahead, yeah?"

The only person with the arrogance to push forward on their own was Lesley Arzt.

"Civilization!" he warbled exhaustedly. He strode up to Ben, introduced himself and stuck his hand out for a shake before launching into a ready list of complaints about his island experience so far, and how he looked forward to any level of comfort this quaint little village could provide.

Ben smiled patiently. He was fairly certain he could compel Arzt to turn on any one of his fellow survivors with the promise of a grilled cheese sandwich and an extra pillow.

"So where is the nearest bathroom?" Arzt asked loudly. He looked at the other gawking Jonestown dwellers, and waited for someone to serve him.

Ben glanced over his shoulder, and one of them stepped forward to serve as an escort. Ben then turned to face the rest as Arzt was ushered away.

"Don't be shy," Ben called genially to his new guests. 'We have a place for everyone to rest and wash up. You might need to bunk with a few roommates, but I'm sure you won't mind after having no bunks at all."

A quiet chuckle passed through the group, breaking some of the awkward tension.

Juliet watched more of Ben's people step forward, smiling and gentle, just as Goodwin and Ethan had been when she'd first arrived. They took the bags from their tired guests' shoulders, told them they were safe now, and herded them toward the empty barracks.

They all had their assignments. As agreed upon, Jack and Kate stayed close to Claire and Charlie, and Sayid stayed near Michael and Walt.

Juliet knew she couldn't keep an eye on all of them at once. Still, the fear pulled at Juliet's heart as they were led away from her. Even Jin and Sun were approached by Others who just happened to be fluent in Korean.

She was aware, in her rational mind, that Ben wasn't going to immediately slaughter all of them in front of each other. That would be…distasteful. He'd take his time analyzing each case, and recruit who he could.

And maybe he would let some of them leave after all. Richard got to leave the island sometimes, didn't he?

As the last of the Oceanic survivors found their guides, James and Juliet remained in the big back yard with Ben. Ben was rooted in place, waiting for Juliet to come to him. It was time to debrief, and she found her next steps to be the most difficult of the trek.

"I was thinking of having a luau tomorrow night," Ben shared happily as Juliet made her way toward him. "Right here in the courtyard. What do you think?"

James never had to work so hard to maintain a poker face. He wanted to rush the little slime and punch his teeth into the back of his throat before he could say another word.

Passing from the shadow of the palms into the light, the marks on Juliet's neck became visible to Ben, and his smile faltered. Ben glanced sharply at James, then back at Juliet.

"Can we talk privately?" Juliet asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Ben nodded confidently, his composure regained. "Yes."

"I knew you could do it," Ben gushed as he led them into his living room. "But seeing the whole group walk through the trees…I have to admit, it gave me goosebumps."

There were snacks laid out on the coffee table. Juliet lingered near the door, unwilling to enter the communal space. James remained at her side.

"Drinks?" Ben turned and held up a choice of bottles, the familiar black and white label Wine and Beer.

Juliet ignored his pathetic offerings, staring past them at her host.

"Are you going to ask what happened to my neck?"

They looked at each other, his unblinking study a match for her unyielding stare. The drinks sagged when Ben accepted the fact she was not in the mood to celebrate.

"I assume those marks are from the attempt on your life." Ben answered matter-of-factly, as if discussing trivial events of the past was beneath them.

"Ethan tried to kill me, Ben."

"Yes, you said so on the tape, but you didn't exactly specify-"

"Did you ask him to do it?"

Ben looked genuinely wounded. "Absolutely not," he said with conviction.

Juliet took another beat to check his eyes. They could be very convincing in their deceit.

"I would never -"

"I believe you." Juliet interrupted tiredly. She didn't want to hear the rest.

Ben did not like the tack being taken. This was supposed to be his triumph. Their triumph, to be celebrated together. Why didn't she understand what he wanted for her?

"He blamed me for Goodwin's death." Juliet reminded him.

She watched in real time as Ben reset himself. She wished for a thousandth time she couldn't see through the facade. Life would have been so much easier if she was weak and stupid.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Juliet." Ben said. "Ethan was…a troubled man."

"It's almost like being isolated on an island makes people crazy." James muttered.

Ben set his eyes on James, seeing a perfect opportunity to change the subject.

"How did you do it?" Ben asked with wonder. "How did you end up convincing all of them to follow you back here?"

"It was like you said," James answered. "Half of 'em came for the beds and toiletries."

"And the rest? Jack, and Sayid?"

"Ben." Juliet said, softly asking for his attention.

He turned to her readily, curious and patient.

"Where are the children?"

Juliet counted four of her own thudding heartbeats while the wheels in Ben's head turned.

"The children?" he repeated.

"From the tail section. The ones Goodwin helped kidnap."

Ben's patient smile remained. "No one was kidnapped."

The way he denied it, saying the word like it was a little bit dirty, and she was silly for bringing it up. It put fire in Juliet's veins. But emotion was not a valid currency in Ben's house. She'd talked through the explanation so many times with James and the others from the beach. From practice, she kept the bile down, and stuck to the script.

"From the perspective of the tail section survivors," she continued coolly. "The people that were separated from them were kidnapped. Violently. And the people left behind were left terrorized. In order to convince the rest of the beach camp to come with us, we had to tell them that Goodwin had been exiled, acting completely on his own."

Ben nodded. "I understand."

"I don't think you do. Ana Lucia needs to know the children are alright. She feels responsible for them."

"The children are safe."

"Where are they, Ben?"

"They. Are somewhere. Safe." Ben spoke slowly, his impatience beginning to show.

"If anything happened to them you'll have an insurrection on your hands."

"They are perfectly alright, I promise you."

"Just tell us where the hell you took 'em." James cut in.

"They're at the Temple." Ben snapped. He was well aware that statement would mean nothing to James, and next to nothing to Juliet. She'd never been there. She didn't understand its significance. Neither did Ben, and he did not want to reveal that to either of them.

Juliet stood strong in front of Ben's stubborn stare.

"Can we see them?" she asked.

"No, you cannot see them."

"We need to see them, Ben."

"I'll bring them back here." Ben offered. "If that's what it will take to earn your trust."

"No." Juliet shot back quickly, stronger than anyone had expected. "That's how you'll earn their trust."

The Oceanic survivors, not Juliet. She was going to need something more.

"This is somehow way weirder than staying on the beach."

Charlie reached into the kitchen drawer next to the refrigerator, and held up the lace doilies he'd found. Claire chuckled in response from her seat at the kitchen table. She had a jar of peanut butter open before her with a spoon sticking out of it.

Jack paced back from the living room to the kitchen. Kate glanced up, and they shared a look. The theories about Ben wanting fresh blood were even more solid now that they'd had a glimpse of his failing utopia. The cottage felt trapped in time. All the fixtures were a few decades out of style, yet barely used, and the settlement seemed to have a lot of empty houses compared to its current population.

"Look at all the board games!" Walt called from the pantry of his latest temporary home. Michael and Sayid shared a tired chuckle at his reaction. Like the houses, the games were an old printing, but seemed to have all their pieces and not too much wear.

"Oh my god, shampoo and running water," Shannon moaned in the bathroom. When Sayid walked over to see what she'd found, she smiled at him for the first time in days.

"Do you think they're, like, Mormons or something?" Neal asked, trying on another short-sleeved button down shirt from the closet.

"If they were Mormons," said Arzt. "There'd be a hell of a lot more of them…"

Jin stroked Sun's cheek with the backs of his fingers, and watched his tired wife sleep.

"I'll never complain about our mattress again." Bernard whispered to Rose. Seconds later he was snoring.

They had to be patient. That was why Juliet didn't bring up the submarine, or their plans to commandeer it by force if Ben wasn't willing to play fair. Juliet only asked Ben to clarify his plans for Claire's impending labor, and she finished their conversation with oblique questions about Alex's whereabouts. It was all she was willing to risk. His answers were adequate for now, enough for Juliet to leave Ben's house for some much needed rest.

"That went…" James started to say. "Well, it went."

"Yeah." Juliet agreed distractedly.

They walked across the courtyard together, and looked around to see how things were going. The great exchange of bedding and hand-me-down clothing was still in progress, as the newcomers got settled in their temporary homes. James glanced at his assigned house and saw people on the stoop. All he wanted was a shower and a twenty-four hour nap, and now his palace was occupied.

"Can I crash at your place?" he joked.

Juliet smiled with sympathy. "You just want my nice shampoo."

"Your bed's comfy, too."

"Come on." Juliet said, inviting him to follow her.

They didn't want to be around everyone else. But they didn't want to be alone either.

James fell asleep on her couch while she took a long shower. He woke to a sweet-smelling woman jostling his arm. Her robe was tied tight, her long, wet hair pulled over one shoulder.

"Your turn," she said.

When James was finished showering, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out to find Juliet in her kitchen, eating the remnants of snack foods from her fridge. She still had her robe on. Probably didn't want to change her clothes since the room her clothes were kept in was being surveilled and the bathroom had been occupied.

"Want some?" Juliet asked, holding out a bag of halved walnuts.

"Nah. I'm waiting for the luau," he said sarcastically.

"I'm sure it'll be a boar." Juliet quipped without thinking. She waited for James to get the pun, and she smiled at her handiwork when she got to see his dimples.

"I missed you," James said out of the blue. "Past couple nights."

His tenderness surprised her. That genuine vulnerability she'd longed for, presented now when it was too late, past the point where she could safely return those feelings. She felt those feelings, though. Deeply. In spite of her wish to let them all go.

"I missed you, too." she responded quietly.

He was relieved. He let her see it, his smile making the corners of her mouth twitch in return.

In his eyes Juliet saw a little boy who just wanted to be loved back. But his body was a man's body. She'd missed that too.

Juliet set her snack on the counter and walked over to him. She touched his hand, the one holding his towel together, and she grasped his other wrist with delicate fingers. Then she placed a sweet and careful kiss on his lips.

James kissed back. He slipped his wrist from her grip, and he cupped her jaw in his palm as their kiss deepened. Juliet's hands slid around his back, caressing his skin and pressing their bodies close together.

Distract me, she was asking. Love me, make everything else go away.

When Juliet stopped their kisses, she didn't move away. She clung to James and breathed, her gaze resting on his chest.

"Take me to the bedroom," she said. "Please."

He wanted that. He wanted that very much. But he was confused.

"What about the camera?" he whispered, as if it could hear them out there.

Juliet wasn't sure how to put it into words. She wanted to cause Ben an unrecoverable devastation. She wanted to annihilate every hope and dream he'd ever had of being her friend, or owning her as a lover.

She also wanted to be swept away in a distraction that only James could provide. His devotion was a deep pool she was willing to drown in. And his lips were so soft…

"You wanna give him a show?" James asked quietly.

The gratitude in the kiss that followed told him he'd guessed right. He'd read her damned mind.

Alone in a room full of fuzzy black and white TV's, Ben's eyes were glued to one screen. He'd watched them take turns using the bathroom, his suspicion growing when Juliet didn't put her clothes on in the bedroom the way she normally did. He told himself she was tired, that the soft bathrobe he'd gifted her felt too nice after their long weeks of rough living. But then James had used the shower, leaving the bedroom in only a towel to join Juliet elsewhere in the house. The hairs on the back of Ben's neck had stood up then. His instinct for predicting human behavior had failed him, leaving him unprepared for what he would see next on the camera feed.

They returned to the bedroom together, taking cautious steps while their mouths remained fused. James moved slowly, pulling on the tie at Juliet's waist at a pace she could stop at any moment if she changed her mind. She didn't. Once the tie was loose, she shrugged the robe off and wrapped her arms around his neck, using his body to hide her nakedness, and to feel his skin against her skin.

Ben was seconds away from slapping the power button on the monitor, but he forced his hand still. He forced himself to watch even while his stomach turned and roiled at the images he was seeing. An intruder kneeling beside Juliet's bed, his head between Juliet's legs. Juliet on her back, her hand clamped over her mouth as if the pleasure would make her scream. The voyeur couldn't hear her shuddering breaths, but he felt them in his own chest as he watched. The need for physical closeness was a language he did not understand. He could only observe others communicating so fluently they could forget anyone else was observing at all.

James hadn't gone to college but he knew a thousand ways to make a woman come. Juliet's body responded to him readily, desperately. They hadn't had the space for this, not since the waterfall, and even there the pool had shrouded their bodies. James could see every inch of her in the afternoon light, when he lifted his head to check on her and saw her looking back at him with the anguish of unleashed lust and pleasure furrowing her brow.

He wanted to finish her there. He would have if she'd held his face down. But she was allowing him to lead, and he wanted to see her face when she came. He wanted to try a hundred different things to get her there. His body screamed to be inside her. His towel fell away before he climbed onto the bed, on top of Juliet.

The low resolution of the video feed stole much of the detail, but Ben could see the outline of their naked bodies as James rolled his hips toward Juliet's. He could see Juliet's mouth open to let out a sound that only James had the privilege of hearing. He could see Juliet's brow furrow when James leaned close to her ear and told her secrets in low tones.

James was describing things Ben would never know. How good it felt to be inside Juliet, after missing her so much. Returning to the place where she needed him. Covering her, protecting her, completing her before she had to give him up and let it all disappear forever.

The man watching them was filled only by a dead-cold emptiness as their lovemaking intensified.

She wanted to give the creep a show. James would give him something to watch. He'd make it so good it would make Ben want to shrivel up and die, knowing he'd never come close to this kind of intimacy. All Ben had was his camera and the keys to a prison cell. James was taking everything else.

James pulled his hips away, twisting Juliet's body so it faced the doorway and the camera hidden atop it. Juliet grabbed the back of his head and kissed him over her shoulder, body rocking from the motion of James pushing into her from behind.
Juliet thought back to the day they'd met, and touching herself to thoughts of James in her bed. There was nothing like the real thing. Her body submitted to him, letting him set the pace while his hand explored the front of her body. All she had to do was let him know how close she was to orgasm. James got a good look at her face, making sure he could see what he'd missed in the dark of his tent, and on the nights they'd spent apart.
"Show him what you need," James murmured, committing his whole body to her pleasure. It electrified her, and she writhed there in his arms while every nerve ending joined together and sang.

An equal measure of pain came to the observation room. He'd watched her before, on lonely nights when her hand slipped between her legs, giving herself what she needed to bring herself to that moment. Seeing someone else take her there was…different. It was unfair. It was torture, making him so hurt and angry that he couldn't even enjoy the show. Helpless, inert, Ben knew he had to watch the rest unfold. He needed to know how Juliet would reciprocate the intensity of what she'd just experienced.

The camera couldn't translate everything. It showed Juliet on her back again, legs wrapped around her lover, hands stroking his upper back. But it didn't capture the look in her eyes, looking into James' eyes while he told her how beautiful she was, and how much seeing her like this turned him on. Juliet clung to him, moaning, a profound feeling of completeness washing over as James drove deeper into her.

So this is what it looks like, thought Ben. Two people becoming one. A woman letting a man inside, in spite of everything she knows about him, instead of refusing all of his advances. Ben watched, barely blinking, as James' increasingly urgent motions finally slowed. Juliet clutched James' head in her hands, and they kissed deeply, maintaining their high as long as they could.

Juliet knew from experience James was a cuddler. That he'd hold her afterward, for as long as she would allow it. It felt nice there in each other's arms. But the fog of vindictive lust was lifting, and Juliet was suddenly aware of how naked they were.

"I need to cover up," said Juliet, apologetic but firm.

James helped her get the sheet and blanket out from underneath them, and he got underneath with her.

"You think he liked it?" James asked as they settled back down. He meant it jokingly, but the joy was gone from Juliet's expression before her head hit the pillow next to him. Her lips trembled, the way they did when she was fighting tears.

"Hey," James asked her gently to look at him.

"We fucked up," she said.

"We fucked," James conceded, still trying to lighten the mood. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I thought it went pretty damn well."

It had. She didn't have to tell him that. But now that the tension had been released, the dread was seeping back in, along with the simmering rage at why they'd decided to do it there and then, knowing there was an audience.

James' heart grew heavy. This was her trauma response to having anything good come into her life. For taking anything Ben hadn't handed to her, for defying him in any way.

"He's going to know." she said.

"Did you look for it?"

"No."

"Then he won't know. He was probably too busy jerking off…"

James trailed off when he saw the words cut into her.

"I should be out there," she said. "Making sure everyone is okay."

"You can't watch 'em all at once." James reminded her.

"I know."

"That's why we split the party the way we did."

"I know."

"Juliet." James said firmly. "You did enough getting us here."

There was no I know for that statement. She no longer felt it was enough. It now felt like far too much, like she'd condemned them all the moment she'd agreed to recruit them.

"You're not alone anymore." James told her.

"That honestly scares me more than the alternative." Juliet confessed.

"Why?"

Juliet swallowed the lump in her throat. "Last night, Ben sent a search party to find us."

"Yeah, I know. Ana Lucia said Eko clocked 'em on their way to the camp. But they didn't get close enough to do anything."

They'd talked about this. But not about the other one-woman search party.

"Goodwin's wife found me on the other side of the ridge."

"...He had a wife?"

"Harper. She knew Goodwin and I were close. She blames me for his death. Like Ethan blamed me. She thinks I'm a home wrecker, and a traitor, and that I'm putting my career above everyone else's safety."

"Well…that's all bullshit."

"No. She's right. I wanted her husband. I got him killed, and I got Ethan killed, and I'm going to get everyone else here killed trying to save Claire, and Sun, when there's nothing I can really do -"

"Juliet, slow down-"

"You don't understand. Harper resented me from the beginning. Before I'd even met Goodwin. And I'm proving her right. I was never one of them, and I betrayed them the first chance I got."

"Listen to me." James cupped her cheek in his hand, making her look at him. "At the end of this it isn't gonna matter what any of them think about you. This is about making them give you what you want."

"They won't let me leave." Juliet shook her head. "Not after I kill Ben. I'll be lucky if all they do is kill me."

"I'm not gonna let that happen."

Juliet's eyes welled up with tears at his promise. She wanted to believe she was safe with him. She wanted it the way Ben wanted her, when she knew the harder she tried the more it would slip away. All James could do for her was put himself in harm's way, and the thought of that made Juliet hurt more and more for every minute she spent with him.

Juliet closed her eyes, and the excess tears spilled from the corners. They were all she allowed herself. She forced herself not to cry, concentrating instead on the palm of James' hand on her neck, his lips on her cheek, and the gentle pleading for her to trust him.

James pulled her closer, and she curled into him as if she could hide there. Desperate to make the panic go away, Juliet kissed his lips more and more intensely, until James was swept up in it just like she was.

Making love as if every time was the last time was getting addictive. James moved as if he was going to tear the covers off and give their hidden spectator another show.

"No." Juliet murmured. She held the covers tightly, speaking against his lips. "Please."

This one was just for them. James acquiesced, leaving the blanket up to their necks so he could touch her in private.

The monitors were all dark. The observation center was empty. Ben was in his home, dialing the extension for Harper's office. She picked up on the second ring.

"Harper…yes, thank you for your help today. I know that must have been difficult for you."

Ben peeked through the curtains of his living room window. The sun was setting. Everyone seemed to be inside, enjoying the comforts of civilization.

"I think we should have that talk now."

Claire breathed in the scent of her new pajama set, making Kate smile. Seated on the living room couch, they were ready for bed - showered and clean and ready for sleep in a real bed - and it felt amazing. Jack returned from inspecting the back yard, satisfied that he and Charlie knew the layout of the place if there was an emergency during the night.

"I know you're sick of me asking," Jack warned his beaming patient. "But how are you feeling?"

"I'm sooo glad to be off my feet." Claire rested her hands on her belly, legs stretched out on the couch cushions across from Kate's.

"You made it through a plane crash, and across this whole damn island," Jack told her proudly. "You are going to have so many crazy stories to tell your baby."

Claire smiled, and felt what she thought was a kick. She was reaching for Kate's hand to show her when the feeling morphed into something less familiar.

"Oh."

Kate watched her friend, waiting for her to mention some other silly thing she'd remembered. When Claire didn't say anything else, Kate sat forward, alert.

"You okay?"

"I think so. I probably just need to -" Claire stopped, winced and whimpered.

"Hey -" Charlie moved to leave his seat, but Jack gestured for him to keep back.

"Owhh-!" Claire's body curled in pain.

"Claire?!"

Juliet was distantly aware of being in her bed, not quite asleep but not awake either. She could feel the comforting weight of James' arm draped over her waist. All she wanted was to stay there and let her body enjoy the inertia. A thread of despair joined with panic when the pounding on her front door woke her from her half-dream state.

"Juliet!"

She could hear Jack's voice calling through the curtained window at the front of her house, and the knocking continued as she rushed out of bed to find her bathrobe.

The sudden motion woke James from his deeper sleep.

"Juliet- ?" he murmured.

She was gone before he could ask what was wrong.

Juliet got to the door before Jack could shout again.

"It's Claire," said Jack, breathless from jogging. "She's going into labor."