Chapter 17 - House Arrest

Juliet sat by herself in the empty, silent hallway outside the medical station's operating room.

Claire was fine, her baby was fine, everyone was fine. So why were Juliet's hands still shaking? Why did she send everyone away so she could sit by herself and go over every detail in her mind?

Jack had assisted Juliet beautifully, fulfilling every request without question. Kate had been in the operating room too, to hold Claire's hand and tell her she was doing amazing. James waited outside the room with Charlie, ready to run for supplies if needed and leaving space for the doctors to work.

Some of Ben's people stopped by early in the proceedings to see what the middle-of-the-night screaming was about. Juliet was certain they went to alert Ben, though he never showed up to check in. She hadn't seen Ben since they'd talked earlier that day. Not after she and James…in her bedroom…

Juliet hung her head in her hands. Delivering Claire's baby should have been a huge relief. But she didn't feel good about it. She had so much emotion stored up over her work, her failures, her fears. It wasn't possible to process all at once.

You're not alone anymore.

It was harder that way. Knowing she wasn't crazy. Experiencing hope and human connection. She'd cried more in the past week than she had in the past year.

Juliet didn't care if the island needed protecting. She cared about the people on it and what happened to them. She wanted to preserve the lives for which she felt responsible as the only sane person in a circus full of crazies.

Jack sat in the recovery room with Claire. He was the only one left awake since Kate finally nodded off. The new mother was asleep in a thirty-year-old hospital bed, her baby in a bassinet nearby, with Charlie curled up in the chair across from them.

It had been hours since the delivery. Juliet had asked for time alone, and Jack respected the need for space. He'd been there, more than a few times. But post-surgery shock was an echo chamber that was easy to get trapped in.

Jack was aware of Juliet's history on the island. He knew the successful delivery of Claire's baby was potentially even more of a mindfuck than the idea of losing them both. So he went to check on her, to pull her out of the spiral. Jack hoped he could do it in a kinder way than his father always had for him.

He found her sitting on a wooden chair in the hallway, head in her hands, still wearing her blood-covered scrubs. Her messy ponytail was untouched since she'd tied it, right after Jack roused her from sleep.

Jack remembered seeing James stumble out of her bedroom, half-dressed and confused, thinking he was needed too. Juliet had been too focused on getting ready to tell James otherwise. Or maybe she'd wanted him there. Jack couldn't explain their connection, but it was clear there was one.

In the med station hallway, Juliet peeked past her wrist to see who was there.

"Hey." Jack greeted her.

Her gaze returned to the tile floor. She made no move to get up. She only saw him again when he crouched in front of her.

"I'm going to ask you something," Jack warned her in a gentle tone. "But before I do, I want you to know that I've answered the same question dishonestly too many times to count. So, I'll know if you're lying to me."

Juliet smirked sadly.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked.

Juliet did not answer right away. She didn't answer at all. She rubbed her hands against her forehead and sat up. Then, resting her hands on her knees, she looked at Jack and asked him a question.

"How many patients have you lost?"

Jack hesitated. He did not want to entertain that line of thought. He knew where it led.

What could I have done differently the last twenty times?

Juliet sniffled, wiping her palms against the pant legs of her scrubs. She continued when Jack didn't reply.

"Claire is the first woman to live through the third term of her pregnancy since I arrived here."

She looked away from him and blinked a few times, trying to make the tears go away.

"And I don't know why. I have no idea if anything I did today even made a difference. She could have given birth in the middle of the jungle, and they might have been fine if the island wanted it that way. Maybe…maybe she hasn't been here long enough, or-"

"Juliet."

Jack's insistence cut through the increasing buzz of her thoughts. Juliet looked at him, her eyes two watery pools full of a desperate need for reassurance.

"You absolutely made a difference." he told her. "Nobody knows how this place works. Not even Ben, otherwise he wouldn't have brought you here. You made sure Claire was able to give birth as safely as possible. There are a million things that can go wrong, no matter where you are."

"I tell myself that all the time," Juliet smiled, sad and teary-eyed. "And I don't believe it then either."

"Listen, I know it's shitty to pull rank here, but, as an experienced ER surgeon, I can tell you with certainty you did a really good fucking job today."

And it meant a fucking lot coming from Jack Shepherd. But she couldn't celebrate today. Not when the larger chess game loomed so large in her mind.

"What about tomorrow?" she asked.

Jack took a deep breath, chuckling it out incredulously. Now he knew how it felt to pep talk someone as pessimistic as he was. He looked Juliet in the eye, holding her gaze so she could see the conviction behind his sentiment.

"We deal with it tomorrow," he said. "Just like anything else."

Juliet smiled at the simplicity. She did not share Jack's certainty. But his certainty gave her a light to follow in an otherwise oppressive darkness.

Jack reached out and gave her calf a squeeze. He lingered for a beat, before rising from his crouch.

"Does Claire need anything?" Juliet asked him.

He shook his head. "She's sleeping. More ibuprofen in an hour, maybe. I'm having a hard time finding anyone from the plane that has experience with care of a newborn."

"Yeah," Juliet rubbed her neck. "That's a bit beyond my specialty too. Is Kate still with her?"

"And Charlie, yeah."

Jack hesitated. She hadn't asked, but figured she'd want to know.

"Sawyer went back to your house, I think. I'm not sure where everyone's staying yet."

Juliet nodded, keeping any other reaction to herself.

"You should wash up," Jack suggested. "Get some sleep."

Juliet chuckled inwardly. "I know."

"If they need anything the rest of the night, I'll take care of it."

"What if you fall asleep?" she asked.

Jack smiled. "I'm not wired that way. I need you to take care of yourself now. So we can be ready for tomorrow."

Her appreciative smirk let him know she'd understood his winking reference. Juliet took a deep breath through her nose and blew it out slowly through her mouth. Smoothing her hair back, she stood up and realized how tired her body was, the ache of sitting in one place while stewing on her thoughts catching up to her.

James was asleep on her couch when Juliet finally went back to her house. They were a tired bunch. Juliet closed her front door as quietly as she could and walked over, undecided on whether to wake him or let him sleep. She crouched down to look closely at his face. He was so fucking handsome.

Sensing her presence, James' eyes opened on their own.

Once again waking up to her pretty face, James' first thought was that he could get used to this. He began to smile. Then his brain registered the exhaustion in her face. The day's events came back to him, and he quickly woke up the rest of the way.

"Hey," he said, instantly worried, assuming she had bad news to share.

"Everyone is still fine," she told him.

"Good," said James. "Good. Do you want something to eat? I could make you dinner. Or breakfast? Shit, I don't know what time it is." James sat halfway up and looked around the living room for a clock.

In spite of her exhaustion, in spite of everything, Juliet smiled.

"It's four in the morning."

"Ah." James settled back on the cushions.

His look of worry remained, breaking what little was left of Juliet's heart.

"You should go to your house." she said.

Unveiled hurt joined the worry in his eyes, and Juliet had to look away.

"It's not really my house anymore," James reasoned. "I'm sure Hurley takes up two rooms just standing there."

It was a mean thing to say, but it made Juliet laugh. It felt like a sob, and her body caught up a moment later, laughter melting into a much needed cry. She closed her eyes to squeeze the tears out, and she felt James wrap his arms around her. He pulled her onto the couch next to him and held her close, wanting more than anything to soak up some of her pain.

"I'll go away if you really want me to," James promised. "But not if it's because you're afraid someone will notice I'm here."

Ben was the only one it really mattered to, and he already knew. The beach campers all knew. The Others would find out soon enough. Juliet, too tired to argue, melted into him and allowed him to stay.

Two hours later, in what had once been James' house, Hurley stared at the ceiling, flat on his back in the twin bed he'd been assigned. Libby had asked to sleep next to him, and she was curled up on her side, watching him lay there with his eyes wide open.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked him gently.

"No." Hurley answered immediately. "But I know the exact number of dots in that popcorn ceiling. I counted twice, just in case."

Libby smiled sadly. "I couldn't sleep either."

"It's cool," Hurley said. "Jack said the island heals us so, like, maybe we don't need as much sleep here."

"We're all very traumatized," said Libby. "I think the sudden comfort of this housing is difficult to fathom."

Hurley was quiet. At the moment, he couldn't begin to fathom fathoming this house. His brain was busy trying to fathom other things.

"Libby?"

"Yes?"

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to freak out, or think I'm paranoid?"

Libby gazed at Hurley's rounded profile. His lower lip pouted thoughtfully as he awaited her answer.

"I can't promise," she said. "But I'm probably too tired to freak out about anything at this juncture."

Hurley's eyes narrowed, as he studied popcorn ceiling dot number 987.

"I think Juliet and Sawyer have a secret plan brewing."

"Okay…"

"Juliet just seems so sad. Like, distant and stuff. And Sawyer is totally different around her. Which is kind of wild by itself, if you think about it."

"Someone tried to strangle her to death." Libby reminded him.

"Well, yeah, but she was sad before that. Like, super serious."

"Some people are like that."

Her explanation was fair, under normal circumstances. But Hurley didn't buy it.

"Okay, so Juliet is just like that. What about Sawyer? He didn't care about anybody. He got banished after a week. That's gotta be a record. And now he's super serious and kinda sad, too. I know I'm crazy and all - "

"How many times have I told you not to call yourself that?"

"Sorry. I know I'm…disturbed. Or whatever. But I'm a pretty good judge of character, and Juliet is showing signs of major depression."

Libby smiled. There was no getting past Hurley's watchful eye.

"Are you worried about her?" Libby asked.

"I'm worried about all of us." Hurley admitted, his eyes going wide. "If Sawyer and Juliet aren't being totally honest with us, what are they hiding? What could be worse than a plane crash? Why was she so sad about bringing us here? I mean it seems nice. Everyone here seems nice."

"A little too nice."

"Yeah, exactly. So you see it, too."

"I don't know, Hugo." Libby sighed.

"Especially after what happened to you, before you got to the beach. It can't just be one or two disgruntled guys doing all of that -"

A soft knock on their door cut off the discussion.

"You can come in." Libby called out.

Ana Lucia poked her head in. "There's coffee," she reported. When she saw them laying the way they were - Hurley with his hands clasped over his belly, and Libby curled up in a fetal position next to him - Ana Lucia smirked softly.

"I can make us breakfast." Libby offered, though she didn't move just yet.

"Don't worry about it." said Ana, slipping away to leave them alone.

"Dude." Hurley stared at the empty space she left. "She knows."

"Knows what?"

"I don't know. But she knows."

"Good morning." Michael said as he entered the kitchen in his shared abode.

Sayid smiled politely from his seat at the table. He was already up enjoying a mug of Dharma brand instant coffee.

"Good morning. You slept well, I take it?"

Michael finished yawning before he answered. "Yeah. I hope I didn't snore."

"If you did, I couldn't hear it."

"Walt didn't kick me awake, so I either didn't snore, or he was too fast asleep to notice it."

"Is Walt still sleeping?"

"Yeah. Couldn't wake him if I tried."

"Shannon seems to be the same way."

"Yeah…" Michael agreed distractedly. He scratched his belly, looking idly around the counters for food items he might recognize from home. "Hey," he said, turning back to Sayid. "Did anyone talk to you about how we're getting home?"

"You mean one of Ben's people?" Sayid asked.

They had not, of course. Ben's people had emphasized the comforts of their village and not much else, certainly not the ways one could leave and return to real civilization. Sayid hadn't bothered pressing them about it.

"I was looking at some of the fixtures here," said Michael. "Stuff that would have to be manufactured somewhere else, and shipped in. There has to be a dock around here somewhere."

"One would think…"

Michael nodded, his gaze lingering on Sayid. With an uneasy smile, Michael asked him, "You'd tell me if there was something else going on, right?"

Before Sayid could ask what he meant, Walt trudged out from the hallway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that were far too big on him. The Others seemed to have a lot of those in stock.

"Hey, sleepy head." Michael greeted him. "We didn't wake you, did we?"

"Nah." Walt yawned. "I had the freakiest dream though."

"Oh?" said Michael. "You wanna tell us about it? Here, let me find you some breakfast…"

"It was weird," Walt said, still trying to make sense of the memories. "Mr. Locke was there."

Michael paused his search of the kitchen cupboards and eyed his son warily. "Oh?" he said, his interest less enthusiastic and more concerned.

"Yeah. He had a friend named Richard. We were at this…pyramid thing. Not like the triangle ones in Egypt. It was like -"

Walt traced a taller, tiered shape with his hands.

"A temple?" Sayid guessed.

"Maybe." Walt thought for a moment, and decided that was exactly what it felt like in the dream. "Yeah," he nodded. "A temple."

"You've been reading too many comic books." Michael joked, hoping that's all it was.

"I've never seen this in my comic books," Walt said.

"What happened at this temple?" Sayid asked.

"There was a bunch of people there. People from our plane."

Michael's heart took a stab when he heard Walt mention them. He looked at Sayid, and they shared a look of sad understanding.

"They seemed happy." Walt shrugged, sitting down at the kitchen table as Michael poured him a bowl of cereal. "I can do that," Walt reminded his dad.

"I know you can," Michael assured his little man. "That was nice of you, to dream about those people being happy."

Michael assumed it was just his way of dealing with everything, including being separated from his friend Mr. Locke. The name Richard had already slipped from his mind.

Juliet woke with a start. She was still on the couch with James, warm in his embrace but stiff from their positions. A shot of adrenaline-fueled panic compelled her to get up and check on Claire. There was less protest from James this time. He remained snoozing on the couch after she'd moved out from under his heavy arm.

Her back hurt in a different way now. But that ache would remind her for the rest of the day of the comforting blanket of his company, and his unwillingness to let her go or let her deny herself the comfort when it was already past the point of no return.

As promised Jack was still at the hospital, taking vitals and chatting with Claire. The new mother smiled when Juliet arrived, and Jack turned to see who it was.

"Hi!" Claire greeted her happily.

"You must have gotten a new dose of painkillers." Juliet joked.

"Nooo," Claire shook her head. "I'm just so relieved it's over."

"Only eighteen years to go on part two." said Jack.

Claire rolled her eyes at his contribution. "Okay, it's the painkillers," she conceded.

"Do you mind if I give you a check up?" Juliet asked.

Claire agreed to it, grateful to have the care. Jack offered to leave, but she waved it off. They were past propriety in this little group.

"You saw it all yesterday," she said. "Just don't let Charlie back in. He might faint again."

"I told him to wait outside," Jack reminded her needlessly.

"I know, I know…"

"I'm surprised he's not here right now." said Juliet.

"I made him go to the house to get some sleep," Claire said. "Kate went with him to make sure he'd stay there."

Juliet was quick. Claire looked good, thanks to Jack's surgical skill. She'd already pulled Claire's hospital gown back down when a new voice joined the conversation.

"Good morning." said Ben.

Jack and Claire turned to look. Their host stood in the doorway, had been standing there for who knows how long, watching the happy trio interact.

Juliet's blood ran cold when she heard his voice. She absorbed its effect, showing none of it to Claire while she finished tucking the younger woman back in under the bed sheet.

"Morning." Jack replied first.

Claire ventured a polite smile. Juliet hadn't outwardly reacted but it was easy to notice how she avoided looking at Ben at all, and did not return his friendly greeting.

Ben approached the bed, maintaining a polite distance.

"I'm so glad you made it here in time, Claire." he said. "I'm not sure if Juliet told you, but there hasn't been a baby born on this island in quite some time. It is truly a happy occasion for us all."

"Oh - " Claire said, unsure how to respond.

"Does everyone know?" Juliet asked, her tone light for the benefit of their present company.

Ben smiled graciously. "It would have been difficult not to hear the commotion last night. I'd be surprised if anyone aside from Tom slept through it."

"Oh no…" Claire groaned, cheeks blushing around a sheepish smile.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," Ben assured her. "We knew when you arrived this would happen sooner or later."

"Thank god you were here," said Claire. "I was having nightmares about giving birth on the beach, and Aaron getting washed away by the tide."

Jack smiled. "Aaron?"

Claire's shy half-smile returned. "Yeah. I decided a few days ago. I was afraid to tell anyone before…" Her smile widened for a moment, as she referred silently to the labor and delivery.

"Aaron." Ben repeated thoughtfully. "That is a beautiful name, Claire. And there is nothing more to be afraid of, now that you're with us."

His kind and confident charisma was having its intended effect. Claire was already more at ease, despite Juliet's chilly reaction to Ben's presence. Juliet was relieved for her. Disgusted by Ben, but relieved for her.

Aaron chose that moment to begin fussing. Before Ben could approach, Juliet lifted the newborn gingerly from his bassinet and placed him into Claire's waiting arms.

Juliet smiled, seeing the grin spread over Claire's face. It made Jack happy too. After a moment listening to Claire coo at her tiny bundle, Juliet could not resist the pull of Ben's gaze. She turned to look at him, with sharp eyes that dared him to admit what he'd seen.

He returned the intense look. He couldn't be sure she knew everything. But he knew she'd betrayed him, more deeply than he ever could have imagined.

Across the settlement, Hurley knocked on his neighbor's door.

"Hey, Hurley." Kate greeted him at the door.

"Is Charlie home?"

Like children asking to play. Kate chuckled quietly at the concept.

"Charlie?" she called out.

"Is it Claire?" Charlie asked as he rushed to the kitchen.

Hurley pointed at him immediately.

"Dude! Confess. What do you know?"

"Pardonne moi?" Charlie asked, his English accent unchanged.

"There's a conspiracy going on here, and you have to tell me about it."

"Or what?"

"So you admit there's a conspiracy!"

"Hurley," Kate interjected. "What's going on?"

"And you!" Hurley turned to her, his tone accusing. "I don't trust you either."

Kate laughed, looking at Charlie to confirm he was hearing this too.

"You and Jack are always keeping secrets about what's going on, and now Juliet and Sawyer are in on it too. And Sayid, and probably Ana Lucia at this point. I saw you talking before we left the beach."

"How did I get involved in all this?" Charlie demanded.

"I don't know," admitted Hurley. "You're just not as suspicious of them anymore. And that is super suspicious."

"I think you're being paranoid. Even more than usual."

"Yeah, that's what Libby said." said Hurley. "We have more time to worry about stuff, 'cause we're not just surviving on the beach anymore."

"Oh, that's what Libby said, eh?" Charlie teased him.

"Don't change the subject!" Hurley blurted. But his steam had run out. Kate was too good a liar, and Charlie wasn't going to fold and confess to Hurley while Kate was around to impress.

Kate curled up on her chair at the kitchen table, cradling a hot cup of coffee in both hands.

"We're just trying to sort out everything that's happened here." she said.

"Well, some of us have feedback," Hurley said bluntly. "You should share your plan with the rest of the class."

"I'll let the council know," Kate joked.

"Dude. That's not funny. That's literally what we've been calling it."

"Maybe we've been spying on you too, Hurley."

The big man was not amused.

"You know I was clinically diagnosed with paranoid delusions, right?!"

"Hurley!" Charlie cut in. "Let's go see Claire and the wee one. I promise you'll feel better seeing his chubby little cheeks."

"Okay, fine, whatever. But if it turns out you were lying -"

"The baby awaits." Charlie tugged on Hurley's t-shirt, eager himself to see how both patients were doing.

"I've got my eye on you." Hurley said to Kate before he left.

He was right of course, but the way he said it made her chuckle in response. She was going to have to talk to the council about the Hurley problem.

"Can we talk?" Juliet asked Ben quietly.

She didn't particularly relish the idea of a private chat with him, but the less time he spent near Claire, the better. Juliet planned to be a human shield if it came to that.

She glanced briefly at Jack, making eye contact to see if he'd be okay staying with Claire. He understood the assignment, and he let her know as much with a nod.

Ben could see Juliet was gently manipulating the situation, the space, and their position inside of it, with a newfound power of her own. He could practically feel that power as a physical presence in the room.

Ben did not like anyone else being in control. It made him feel small.

When Juliet turned back to Ben she could see that feeling burning in his eyes.