A/N: Katie has always been close to her mother. Always. So when Jim gets the short end of the stick, Melinda has to help take care of it. Enjoy xx Mariah
Ages:
Jim — 33
Melinda — 29
Katie — 4
"Mama! No, daddy, I want mama!"
The cry of Katie's voice touched something deep inside of Melinda. This fluttering in her chest was a feeling she knew well over these past few years, a precious tingle. All of her senses were alert when she heard her little one crying out.
She got up from the bed, where she had laid reading the last hour before she fell asleep, and walked to the room Jim decorated for their child, shortly after they found out that Melinda was pregnant. Petite butterflies and other little birds were carefully placed on the sky-blue wallpaper. Standing in the doorway a familiar scene presented itself to her.
Jim sat on the edge of Katie's toddler bed, trying to comfort their baby girl with his presence. It's obvious, she had another nightmare. There was barely a night lately during which she didn't wake, shaking and crying, her fearful shouting sounding through the usual peaceful nightly silence of their house.
"It's alright, it's alright. I'm here, Katiebug." Jim tried to take her into his arms, but she pushed him away with her little hands.
"Daddy, no," she cried harder, her small body trembling with hiccups. "Where is Mama? I need mama!"
"I'm here," Melinda came closer and her daughter immediately stopped crying, arms reaching out to wrap her tiny self around her. "I'm here, shh…everything is going to be alright, I'm here." She met Jim's gaze and for one short second, she saw what she knew he's been hiding from her since the first time this happened last week when Katie's nightmares began to worsen.
A hint of sadness and the pain of rejection was etched in his forced smile. While she continued to stroke her daughter's small back, Jim stood up and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he left the room. She knew he was taking this hard. Harder than he should.
Their little girl was fixated on her mother. From the day she was born, they were always a unit. Melinda would take her to the store with her, carrying her tightly secured to her body. She had loved those days in her quiet little office in the back of her store, bonding with her little girl, feeling her small body close to hers, the comforting scent of a baby soothingly healing her broken heart.
Being a mother - she never thought it would happen. Her daughter was living, breathing proof that it did. She enjoyed it as much as she could. Loving every second with her small bundle of joy while Katie's heartbeat soundly against her chest. And feeding her, yes, Melinda had lived for these precious moments they spent together. The world was silent and at peace when her daughter's little mouth sucked the milk out of her breast, a sweet and tickling sensation she enjoyed daily until her first teeth ended that phase of their lives.
While Jim's work at the hospital made it hard for him to look after their baby most of the time, he always did what he could. She always knew that he wanted to spend more time with them, be much more involved, but he spent as much time as he could in between his shifts at the hospital when she was firstborn. Now it was easier for them to manage, now that he wasn't just an intern.
Jim had always been patient with her and with their daughter, even now. He loved Katie and told Melinda that the moment he first held their tiny daughter in his arms had been the best in his life. Still, she knew that by now, this was really grating on him. Hurting him more than he wanted to let on.
After her overhead her talking to his mother about Katie's rejection on the phone, he never mentioned it anymore, but the hurt was still there, his eyes betrayed him. And Melinda was at her wit's end, too. She tried to involve him, by visiting the hospital with Katie and suggesting activities to her daughter that only involve her and her father, but she remained stubborn.
'Only if Mama is there, too' seemed to be her motto.
When Katie finally fell asleep after Melinda sang her favorite lullaby, it was almost midnight. Jim must've been woken up by her screaming first. This was not good, her husband needed his sleep. He had a morning emergency room shift.
Jim's hulking form laid in their bed, entirely still as she came in. She sighed inwardly. He was not asleep, she could see that his body was too rigid for slumber. She climbed into the bed and pressed herself into his back, giving him a soft kiss on his neck.
"Is she asleep?" He asked flatly into the darkness of the room, his voice reflecting against the wall.
"Yes, I sang for her and it barely took a minute until she was smiling again. The nightmare was all forgotten," Melinda answered and cuddled her cheek against her husband, inhaling his pine scent.
"I'm glad," he said. He paused and cleared his throat and then continued talking to the wall, "I wonder what these nightmares are about?"
"I've been talking to Eli about it," she sighed, rubbing her hands up against him, up and down, her nails scratching his back lightly. "He said she might be channeling them from me. Soon, she will be able to weave out the bad ones and they won't happen as often…"
Melinda wanted to communicate, reassure him, soothe him as he always seemed to soothe her, as she doubted her parenting skills weekly, but Jim had turned around, and locked his mouth to hers, biting into her lower lip slightly, pushing his tongue inside while his hands knead her breasts in tandem. She was confused by his actions, thinking he would want to talk or even sleep.
Sex wasn't on her mind lately. And she was pretty sure that Jim also had no intention of doing it until now. It was after midnight and he was tired. They shouldn't do this - of all things - while he was hurting. They should talk it all through first if he was ready.
All coherent thought left her when he stopped kissing her and whispered into her ear, "It's been a little while..." When one of his hands went from her breasts and slipped into her damp panties, a whimper escaped her dry throat.
"We've had to be without for longer than this before, Mr. Clancy," she gasped. "Five days is barely a little while, hun." Melinda was almost always ready when she was in bed with him, body reacting to his proximity like a clockwork. She moaned, quietly, so that their child won't wake.
Jim kissed her jawline from the left to the right and pushed his index finger inside, quickly followed by the middle finger, performing a scissoring motion between her legs. Melinda was still worried, remembering the look on his face earlier. They had to talk about this because in all the years they've spent together she learned a lot about Jim.
The most important thing was to communicate with each other, not to avoid things. Except Jim was perfect at distracting her, and even if she wanted to tell him to stop, they should talk, but the way his fingers circle around her clit was so distracting. And he was right. It has been a little while.
"It's long enough," he said huskily, reaching his hand between them to push down his pajama pants. "That's right, love, like that."
She forgot everything around her but Jim and his wonderful fingers so that after he made her come twice with his hands, he pressed his mouth against hers as he slipped inside her. Melinda arched into him, her breasts heaving into his chest and the long column of her beautiful neck exposed just for him.
His lips latched onto the skin under the line of her jaw. He could feel the rapid pounding of her pulse beneath his tongue. He kissed a trail down her neck to her clavicle, punctuating each kiss with a thrust of his hips.
Though he's not in the position to see their joining, he wanted to feel it. Jim slid a hand down to the apex of her thighs and her eyes jolted open as he was met with her center with his calloused thumb.
"Jim," his name curled up from the back of her throat, intoxicating him like a flute of the finest champagne. "Oh, yes, yes, yes!" Her legs wrap firmly around his back to hold him in place: he thought it was unlikely she will ever let go. He kept his hand between her legs, following the nonverbal cues she gave him- the pleasurable wince on her face and the dig of her nails into his biceps- to bring her pleasure.
Her hips grind into him with each of his subsequent thrusts and he was all too aware that he won't be able to hold off much longer. But Melinda had to come first. She deserved that, and he was determined to make it happen.
Jim brought his mouth back to hers, wasting no time before drawing her tongue into the heat of his mouth. The vibrations of her moans reverberated through him and he shuddered in pleasure. His thumb was moving furiously in small, tight circles, and just when he thought he couldn't hold onto his sanity any longer, he began to feel her squirm against him, signaling her release. It was ger unintelligible cry of ecstasy into the black of the room that was his final undoing as their lips parted for them each to moan.
She had never looked more beautiful to him than she did now, sprawled beneath him with her hair a mess and still moaning with the aftershocks of her orgasm. The pair locked gazes as their bliss faded to be replaced by a sated relaxation.
He was quick to lean in to kiss her but nearly laughed as he noticed she had fallen asleep. He traced her cheekbone delicately with his thumb, he couldn't blame her for falling asleep. It was very late, and tomorrow will be yet another long day. Jim turned tucked her into his chest with waning strength, wanting nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.
When Katie refused to let Jim take her to the park with Hannah - her favorite thing to do in the afternoon - Jim inhaled sharply and turned around without another word. It was his one time he'd been able to get off early enough to take her out and about somewhere. Katie hadn't wanted to go with him.
"Leave me alone, Mel," he said as he pulled his coat back on. "I just need some space."
"Jim, please talk to me," Melinda said, her voice pleading, hurt. He must know that it was not her fault, that she doesn't want Katie to act like this, he has to know that, right? "We should talk about this."
"Honestly," he stopped short, voice cracking. "It's better if you leave me alone. I need some time to myself right now. I love you, but I just do." He held her hands and kissed them both. "I'll be back later."
He left for who knew where and didn't return for hours. He didn't answer any of her phone calls.
Melinda peeked into Katie's room where the three-year-old sat with her dolls as she looked down at her phone. It was nearly nine and she still didn't know where her husband was or when he was going to come home.
Where was he?
She dialed Delia's number and sighed as she paced the hallway. "C'mon, Delia… what could you be doing right now?" It was the third ring. "Please pick up..."
"Sorry, Mel, I was in the other room. Have you heard from Jim yet?" Delia immediately asked as she answered on the last ring.
"Not yet," she sighed. "I'm just about to put Katie down. What do you think I should do?"
"Do you want me to come over there? Ned's at a friend's house tonight," Delia's voice said on the other line. "I can watch her while you go out and look for him."
Melinda chewed on her last good nail and sighed. "I'm gonna wait him out a little longer," she muttered. "He's a grown man."
"It's been nearly seven hours, Melinda!" Delia exclaimed. "You need to find him."
"You should've seen his face, Delia," she whispered, wiping away a fallen tear. "It broke my heart. All he wanted to do was take her to the park and she told him that she just didn't want to. She always wants to go to the park."
"She loves her father, Melinda. Don't ever doubt that. This is just a phase," Delia explained. "Every child has them."
"Yeah, well, I hope that this phase ends soon," she whispered. "For Jim's sake and mine."
"Call if he doesn't show in an hour Melinda," Delia reminded her.
"I will," she said. "I'm going to put Katie down to bed, okay?"
"Mama…?" Came a painful whisper from her right, and as usual, Melinda was alert immediately. The voice was bell-like, one that belonged to Katie.
She sat up as she rubbed her eyes and looked over at her daughter. "Katie, what's wrong?" She whispered, blinking to stay away as she touched her sweet little face. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No, mama. Someone is knocking at the door," Katie whispered, grabbing her hand. "I think it's daddy."
"Daddy? Are you sure?" She whispered, looking over at the still empty side of the bed.
Despite Delia wanting her to go out looking, Melinda had gone to bed not long after she put Katie down. She knew Jim better than anyone. He would come home eventually. He needed his space.
Melinda pulled Katie up into the bed and kissed her cheek. "Lay here and wait for mama to come back," she reassured her little girl. "I'll be quick. I promise"
The little girl nodded, squeezing her orange lamb as she laid her head down on her mother's pillow.
Melinda went downstairs, peeking from behind the curtain to see Jim standing against the doorway, sweat was trickling down his face and he was panting deeply. She opened the door, looking up at him. "Jim? Are you alright?" Melinda's voice sounded unsure as she couldn't make eye contact, the only source of light was a pale moon shining softly from the outside. "Where have you been?"
"I couldn't stay in the house any longer, Melinda… I think Katie hates me," Jim was sniffling a moment later and she was in his arms immediately, stroking his back and pressing her body against his bigger one as she pulled him inside.
"Jim, no… she could never hate you. Where did you go? You were gone for twelve hours," she whispered, sighing as she embraced him. "Are you drunk?" She had to make sure and didn't want to assume based on the liquor he smelled like.
"A little. Okay… more than a little," he mumbled into her hair.
She continued to stroke his back with her hands for a while, listening to his breathing which became more rhythmic and steady as the minutes went by until Katie's little voice came from upstairs.
"Mama? Who is it?" Katie whispered, the stairs creaking as the little girl bent down to peek between the columns of the stairs. "Hi, daddy."
It was as though all alcohol left his body and he sobered enough to stand upright. "Hi, Katiebug," he whispered.
"Mama, can you tuck me back into bed?" The four-year-old asked. "Daddy, you can come too."
Melinda looked up at him and he smiled just a little before offering his hand to help her stand. This was a good step.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as they walked into the room together after they tucked their daughter back into bed.
"Not really," the answer came very quickly, and she sighed. "But I should," he continued after a while. "I mean, it will probably help me to talk about this with you."
"It will," she answered, positive that even if she didn't have a solution, talking about this will be for the best.
His voice was breaking, almost tearful, "Why doesn't she love me?"
"Stop it," Melinda feels like her heart was being quenched in her chest. "She loves you so much! It's just a phase."
"And what if it isn't? What if she never warms up again?" He sighed.
"She will," Melinda sobbed now. "Our gift... this gift isn't easy on our daughter just like it isn't easy on me. She's having nightmares and is attached to me, but she loves you, Jim."
This was idiocy.
Why can't he see that their daughter was still too young and innocent to be making such clear-cut decisions? To be dealing with these nightmares?
"I think, I made her hate me from working too much," he whispered after she took a tissue out of the tissue box on the nightstand to blow her nose.
"What?" She asked.
"You heard what I said," he said quietly.
"Yes, I understood your words, Jim. What I don't get is how on earth you got such a weird idea?" She said softly.
"I thought you would say that." He answered, "And it probably is. But I have no other explanation. Other than what you said, about the channeling it all from you."
She wasn't sure how to reply to his musings. "Jim, this will pass. Katie may be a little distant right now, but one day she'll be thirteen and so sick of her mom that she will only talk to you, I promise." She looked up at him, smiling at him. "And that's what this is all about right? The ups and downs? We have to be there for each other, Jim..."
"Yes," he nodded, plopping onto his back and running his hands through his hair. "The ups and downs."
She turned into him, rubbing her hands up his sides under his shirt. Jim's hands were on her breasts without warning, massaging her quickly, and he made closer, trying to kiss her. Her breasts were a little sensitive though with her time of the month coming soon and she felt that he wanted to distract her after everything that had just happened between with sex.
So she said the one thing that always made him stop, no matter how horny he was. "It hurts," she said, shaking her head a little and he immediately stopped touching her. "I'm not really feeling it tonight, babe."
"Oh… ok. I'm sorry," he muttered and turned away, "and I am pretty tired, Mel, and have an early shift. Goodnight."
"Jim…" she sighed, holding onto him for another brief moment. She searched his eyes and he blankly stared back at her.. "I didn't mean it like that."
"No, really. I have to get up early. We've been talking for too long, it's almost four. I need to at least get a few hours." He muttered, turning onto his side.
"Okay," she whispered, pressing a kiss into his shoulder. "Love you."
"Love you too," he breathed.
The next few weeks put a strain on Jim and Melinda's relationship. To get Katie to get used to being away from Melinda, she tried to leave her with different people, starting with Delia continuing with Eli until Katie told her she didn't want to go back to Eli's apartment without her. She'd never been a big fan of the guy.
Katie would go to various playdates with her preschool friends and Faith would come to visit her granddaughter once a week. Her daughter doesn't like the process at all, and it broke her heart time and time again when she had to leave her daughter with other people. But this was the only way, she told herself.
Not only this was bothering her. She wasn't in the mood for sex either, for the first time in her life. Turned away from Jim whenever he tried to initiate something. Weeks after they last made love, she was hunting for a piece of beautiful furniture online when she began to feel a particularly warm feeling sweeping through her. Her body seemed to be telling her she was so ready. She missed her husband and wanted him, nearly blushing at the thought.
How can her mood change from disliking any touch to her skin, to needing him to cover her body with kisses, in a couple of hours?
Grinning, she closed her laptop and stood up from her desk, thinking of surprising him in the hospital. Maybe that would help.
When she stepped on the street that led through the square she saw Faith walking toward her, alone. She looked all around, not seeing her daughter in sight.
"Where's Katie?" She asks worriedly. Faith had come up yesterday and decided to stay an extra day or so, so Melinda had left Katie with her before she went to work this afternoon.
"Oh, Melinda. Please don't be mad, but Katie was extremely difficult today. She fell from the swing at the park and I just couldn't get her to calm down. She insisted on leaving and having her father fix her cut on her leg. Please don't be mad, but she screamed for her father and I brought her over to the hospital. We should have waited for you, I know."
Melinda grinned, laughing almost and Faith looked confused. "Wait. You said Katie asked for Jim?" She gasped. "She didn't ask for me?"
"Yes," Faith said hesitantly. "I told her we should wait and see if he had extra time, but she insisted on wanting to see her father and I can never deny that little girl anything."
"I could kiss you right now. Thank you so much for helping us out, I'll see you around," she giggled at her friend and her bewildered look.
"Anytime. I'll be back at the house soon. Have a nice day, Melinda," Faith's face settled back into that familiar smile and she walked swiftly to the hospital.
Melinda entered through the main doors and witnessed the scene she had waited to see for so long. The thing she told Jim would happen sooner or later, only he didn't believe her.
Katie sat on a seat next to her father in the waiting room, a small wrap on her left knee. The injury was long forgotten as she was busily helping Jim fix the braid in her hair the best she could for her age.
"This looks good, Katiebug," Jim said, smiling at her as he placed the pony at the end of her hair. "What should we do next? Daddy doesn't have to go back to work today. I'm off the clock."
"Go home, daddy. We should go home and watch movies," Katie giggled and beamed at her father like he was the sun and she was his little flower.
"Katie, are you alright? I heard you got hurt at the park, baby..." Melinda said and both of them looked up at her.
"I'm fine. Daddy fixed me, right?" The little girl looked from her mother and back at her father. "I want to stay with him."
"Well, then there is nothing I can do about it then, I guess," she answered, trying hard not to laugh, while she winked at Jim who mouthed a quiet 'thank you' to her.
Melinda had a feeling that Katie Clancy will turn into a daddy's girl. Or maybe not. They didn't know, and perhaps she would just love both of her parents equally and with all her heart.