A/N: Instagram is a hellscape and if I see one more hate comment or some trashy blog/article about JLH's body or how she's aging I might just lie in the middle of the street. JK. Anyways, I so annoyed that I scrounged up inspiration to write this. Hope you all can still enjoy it!

Ages -

Jim - 48
Melinda - 44
Katie - 18
Aaron - 15
Mackenzie - 9
Lana - 6 months

The mirror hadn't been kind to her lately, nor had the thoughts ruminating through the back of Melinda's mind every time she accidentally caught a glimpse of her postpartum self in its reflection and the mood was almost instantly brought down by what she would see. Too many soft curves that didn't fall flat on toned muscle like they usually did. A jiggle of loose skin around her middle when she walked, some hanging at her bicep when she lifted her arms. Thighs that rubbed together, causing redness and burning at the skin.

She didn't always feel this way. She knew that she was not without worth. Deep down she knew this. But there were days like today when she found herself placing all of her value in the plump curves of her body, curves she despised, curves that bumped and jiggled and protruded against high-waisted skirts and form-fitting tops. Days like today when Melinda wished she could disappear and not have to get out of bed until one of her kids came into the room.

"Mama, are you up?" Mackenzie's soft voice was at her bedside as she rolled over to see her toothless grin. "I'm kind of hungry. Are you gonna make breakfast soon? Daddy said he didn't have time before work."

"Of course. What were you thinking?" She asked, sitting up in bed as she stretched.

"Pop tarts sound really good," Mackenzie said, rubbing her belly dramatically as it rumbled.

Melinda laughed. "Well, we better feed you then before you starve, huh?" She teased her daughter as she got out of bed and walked over to the cradle. "Let me check on your baby sister first and then we can go downstairs." Lana was thankfully a good sleeper and still fast asleep. She turned on the baby monitor and grabbed the other one before ushering Mack out of the room.

After getting breakfast together for Mackenzie and settling on a protein bar she could quickly eat before Lana woke up. Aaron came down the stairs just as she was going up and she took the opportunity to remind him that he was watching Mack when she had to take Lana to her six-month check-up. He replied with a hormonal sigh and she didn't want to argue with him.

Lana was screaming her head off when she reached the cradle again. "Hey sweet girl, mama's here," she whispered, picking up her infant daughter and getting a whiff of her dirty diaper. "I'll get you cleaned up in just a second and then we'll go see your Daddy after your check-up. How does that sound?" It didn't take long for her daughter to quiet down and once she changed the baby's diaper and mentioned Jim, Lana calmed down completely. "Now do you think you can be a good girl so mommy can get dressed?"

"I can watch her," Mackenzie offered, popping up out of nowhere. "That way you can take your time."

"Thank you, sweetheart," she said, carefully handing the baby over. "Got her?"

"Yes, mama. Don't worry," Mackenzie said, holding her baby sister carefully and walking over to the bed with her. "Can I play on your phone?"

"Of course," she said, walking up to her closet with a decision that could make or break her day in front of her.

Today was supposed to be uneventful and her insecurities were supposed to stay inside her head. But apparently, nothing was going to go well for Melinda today except for Lana's check-up. That went perfectly because all of her children had been healthy babies and she was glad that the tradition was continuing.

Jim must be busy because he hadn't answered her texts or shown up after the check-up began like he had if something came up. She planned to stop by his office either way but hadn't expected anyone else to be in there besides his assistant. Unless he'd gotten a new one and didn't tell her, but the way the young woman tensed Melinda knew that whoever she was wasn't planning for anyone to see her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, walking inside with the baby carrier in hand. "Who are you?"

"I could ask the same of you," the woman stuttered, her nurse's ID giving her away instead. Courtney Baker.

"Not really. This is my husband's office, and I don't see him in here or around outside," she said, closing the door behind her and walking over to the nearby couch to place the carrier down and unbuckle Lana before the baby got fussy. "You're not his assistant. I've known Rachel for over a decade, so don't make me ask you again."

"I was just looking for test results," the nurse replied, but it didn't seem truthful. "Dr... Chief Clancy usually has copies of everything so I thought to ask him, but like you said he isn't here. We should both be going."

"You mean you should get going," she said, sitting down with Lana in her lap. Courtney looked pale and for a second Melinda wondered if she was dead, but nothing was giving her that inkling. Unless... had she lost her touch there too? "We're waiting for Daddy, right sweet girl?"

Her six-month-old's chubby and gleeful face helped ease her worries. For now at least. Even as she heard the young woman scoff on her way out.

Jim entered just in time to prove that ghost theory wrong. "What was that nurse doing in here?" He asked.

"I don't know. She said she was looking for test results but I'm pretty sure she lied to me," she answered, standing up. "Nice to see you too. You missed the check-up."

"I'm really sorry honey. My surgery ran late," he said with a grimace, wrapping his arm around her just as he leaned down to kiss her forehead, his other hand reaching over to caress Lana's chubby baby cheek. "Forgive me? How'd it go?"

"She's fine. Healthy as an ox," she said, smiling at their baby. "I'll forgive you if you figure out what that woman was up to and tell me about it."

"Why? Did she say something to you?" He asked.

"No, but... nothing. It was probably nothing," she muttered. It had to be. It was just that stupid voice inside her head. Jim would never. Right? Yes. Never. She knew that. "I'm going to grab some coffee from the cafeteria and clear my head. You got enough free time to watch her?"

Jim nodded, leaning in for a chaste kiss on the lips as he took Lana from her. "Of course. Anything for you," he said, winking at her.

As Melinda was heading back from her coffee break, she paused before the nurse's station, catching her name whispered by someone she didn't recognize, and pressed her back against the wall, listening carefully.

"You must be pulling my chain," a man chuckled, disbelief evident in his voice.

"No, I'm being serious!" The second voice was a woman's, the same as before. Natalie. The woman giggled. "I've heard no one's really seen her since we started, but now we know why. I saw some photos in his office of them together and she doesn't even look the same anymore. Add that to the reason why women in their forties shouldn't be having more kids."

Melinda pursed her lips. Maybe she'd heard them wrong. She was just about to walk by when he spoke again.

"That's just mean, Court. From what I've heard his wife is a sweetheart and a bit quirky, and I'm sure Jim still loves her even if she hasn't lost all the baby weight. This is, what, their billionth kid?" the male nurse argued, a laugh in his tone that made her heart plummet so far beneath the surface she was sure she'd never find it again. "I'm not into women so I wouldn't notice, but we all know the Chief looks like he could be with models."

"That's what I was saying! Billionth kid or not," Courtney giggled again and it pierced her heart. "Jim is sculpted like a God and he's stuck married to some frumpy bitch. From the way she was looking at me, I doubt she'll fuck him any time soon if he even would let her."

Tears welled in her eyes and she felt sharp pricks in her palms before she realized it was her own nails digging into her skin. There was a piece of her, the logical voice begging to be heard, that knew Jim didn't care about the extra weight and god knows they've had more than enough sex to get pregnant again since getting the all-clear. That was all that mattered, wasn't it? She wasn't so sure now.

"Damn, Court," the man laughed. "Do you want the Chief that badly?"

Courtney fucking Baker. Tall, thin legs, toned arms, soft flowing hair that cascaded in sweeps down her back. She was everything she wasn't and who knew if she could ever lose all the baby weight now that she was older than before.

"I mean," Courtney continued, her voice sultry in tone, "I've been flirting with him for weeks. He may be married but he's not blind. One of these days he's gonna see what he's missing out on and I'm gonna pounce."

They both started laughing like they knew she was standing there, just to be intentionally cruel. They couldn't possibly, but it didn't stop her mind from twisting and turning and imagining the worst. Unable to take another second, she bolted in the other direction.

They were right. Of course, they were right. Jim was too kind, too polite to ever say anything about her body. But she knew he must look at other women, compare her to them, wonder what it was like to run hands over smooth taut skin again that didn't ripple when he touched it. She was so out of it that she practically ran right into her husband's assistant. "I'm sorry. Excuse me," she whispered, but Rachel stopped her.

"Melinda? What's wrong?" The older woman asked.

"Nothing. I just overheard something I shouldn't have," she sighed, wiping any remnants of tears. "One of the nurses... they weren't talking very fondly of me. I'd rather not say any more. I don't want to get anyone into trouble."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Those catty bitches. You're far too nice, Mel. Now, who was it? I promise I hold very little authority to fire anyone," the assistant said. "I could however get her stuck on scut work."

"Courtney Baker," she muttered. "She was talking to a guy, but I didn't recognize him. She just said something I've already been thinking about. I have looked like shit since having a baby."

"Well don't take anything those catty bitches have to say to heart. We old ladies have to stick together, right? That weight just doesn't come off like it used to." Rachel was five years younger than her and a mother too, but it felt like such a double-edged compliment. "Where's Jim? You had Lana's check-up today right?"

"His surgery ran over and he missed it, but he's with her now in his office," she replied.

Rachel smiled. "He's just perfect, isn't he?"

Now she wanted to roll her eyes. Jim was perfect, just like Courtney said, and here she was sobbing over those catty comments about her. Melinda needed to pull herself together. She rubbed at the skin under her eyes, pulling her fingers back to inspect the remnants of mascara. Melinda was certain she looked as awful as she felt, but she silently thanked Rachel for the minor pep talk and excused herself.

Jim was likely wondering where she was by now and would have even more questions once he saw her. He had his own way of reading her, even if she stopped by the bathroom and managed to put herself back together. He'd always know. Her husband was just that perfect.

Even through this fog, she made it back to Jim's office quickly. The elevator dinged, opening up to the relief of the unoccupied hallway. She half jogged down the hall, pushing open the door and smiling at the image of Jim with a sleeping infant on his chest.

"What's the rush, Mel?" He half-whispered but hadn't looked up from Lana yet.

Breath caught in her throat; Melinda froze. Shit. She turned to glance in a mirror, rubbing vigorously under her eyes in a last attempt to rid her skin of any mascara stains. It was useless.

A gentle hand on her shoulder, her name whispered again in a plea, and she turned around, head bowed in shame. "What is going on, babe? First, you were acting strange earlier but I just thought you might be tired," he said as cool fingers under her chin lifted her face so he could see her fully. The semblance of a warm smile disappeared from his face the second he laid eyes on her. "Did something happen? Who did this to you?" he demanded, voice stern though she knew it wasn't aimed at her. Never at her. He was pacing now, glancing at the door like he was trying to stop himself from handing their daughter off and hunting down whoever it was that hurt her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just want to know what happened."

"It's fine, Jim," she stuttered out pathetically, her arms folded over her chest in some effort to hide. "It's me. It's just me."

He froze, eyes narrowing in confusion. "What does that mean?" He asked.

"They didn't say anything I don't already know," she muttered, looking anywhere but the kind eyes of the man who she loved so deeply. He shook his head, going to set down their sleeping infant in her baby carrier and then taking a careful step closer to her, hands setting gently on her arms, running along her in hopes to relax her. Normally it would've but not now. Not when the very idea of him touching her made her stomach twist in knots. Hands running over every bump, every curve, – no. Melinda backed away and Jim's hands fell back to his side. He watched her, a saddened look on his face that she did her best to ignore. "I should get going so you can go back to work. I don't want to bother you or cause anything to happen..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Melinda, no. Talk to me," he whispered, cautiously moving closer to her again. "Does this have to do with that nurse?"

She could never lie to him. "Yes. I overheard her talking about me... and about you. She wants to fuck you. Did you know that?" She all but spat at him. The flash of hurt across his face was lost to her, too caught up in the vicious thoughts in the back of her mind.

Jim shook his head, eyes searching the ground for answers. Finding none, blue eyes met hers and they were filled with confusion and disbelief. Too innocent. Too naïve. "W-why would you even ask me that?"

"You know why," she muttered, frustrated now that he wouldn't just admit that other women found him attractive.

"Melinda, there is nothing going on. Did she say something?" He pressed his lips together, unable to gather his train of thought. "I don't want to be with anyone else, I want you-" Tears were in her eyes again, unable to control them as she looked up to meet her husband's eyes. His shoulders had fallen, and whatever frustration he carried swept away in an instant when he saw the glossiness in her eyes. "What did she say?"

"Do I really need to spell it out? I know I'm never going to look like her again. Four kids and I'm not getting any younger... and you've looked like this since the day I met you!" She dropped her gaze to his feet, unable to look at him. She swallowed. It burned. "I know you must think about other women—" Melinda couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. "But of course I trust you. You've never given me any reason not to but if you heard the things she said about me... it was so..." Jim was staring at her, eyes wide, unable to speak, and after a beat she continued, "I felt like I was that kid in high school all over again, hearing them laugh about me and say that you must be disgusted by me. I don't know what I would do if that was really true."

Jim was shaking his head, tears growing in his eyes as a sob crept up on her. His arms were around her in an instant and she started to cry. That painful kind of cry made it hard to breathe.

"Oh God, Mel, please don't say anymore, I'm begging you," he whispered soothingly in her ear. "None of that is true. You know that, right? I love you so much, and I don't want anyone other than you. I've only wanted you since the first time I laid my eyes on you. Just you. Please, you have to believe me. It'll break my heart if you don't."

She squeezed her arms tighter around his waist, trying to find an ounce of courage. "Even if I don't lose this baby weight?"

"Even if you put on all the weight in the world, I'd still be there with you. I love you because of who you are, despite whatever it is you or anyone else thinks of your body. I love this body and everything it's given us," he leaned forward to press a kiss against her stomach. "I love every part of it because it's made of you. I love your thighs because they're yours. I love your arms and your stomach and that beautiful face because they're yours. I love everything about you and it kills me you don't see yourself the way I see you."

"Jim," she whispered, the voice in the back of her mind still fighting him. It's been ingrained for so long, she didn't know how to make it stop. "I wish I could say that I thought that same way about myself."

"Let's go home, so I can remind you," he promised, standing up to kiss her. His lips pressed to hers and she sighed in relief.

Melinda could feel his hands touch her sides, grazing along her back as he held himself against her. This time, his touch doesn't burn, it doesn't leave her feeling broken and wounded like he was searching for imperfections. No—this time, it ignites. Hands braced against the sides of his face as she deepened the kiss further, tongue brushing against his lower lip and a sweet-sounding moan slid out from his mouth. The kiss was slow and careful like he was taking his time memorizing her all over again.

She hated to break their kiss a moment later. "Don't you have a full day?" She didn't want to burden him, even if it was a dream come true.

"Nothing I can't push off on a resident. That is the beauty of being Chief, honey," he said, winking at her. "I'll just have to send an email off to Rachel to move stuff around before we go."

"Okay. I'm sure Aaron will appreciate getting relieved of his babysitting duties," she said, kissing him again.

When Jim and Melinda got home, they were only slightly surprised to find Katie inside with Mackenzie instead of Aaron. He was the type to ditch his responsibilities, but at least he'd had the decency to get his sister to cover for him.

"I'm going to go shower," her husband whispered in her ear. "You can always come to join me."

"I'll see if Katie will take the girls for a bit. So take your time and maybe I will," she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she walked past him and into the living room, baby carrier in hand. "What a nice surprise to see you here."

Katie turned with a smile. "Is it really a surprise? When does Aaron ever stay in the house during the summer let alone babysit?"

"No, not surprised in the slightest," she said, unbuckling Lana and picking her up before sitting down next to Katie. "Just happy to see you is all. Been a rough day."

"Oh? Nothing to do with the check-up, right?" Katie asked.

She shook her head and passed the baby over. "No. Lana's perfectly healthy. Just missing her big sister."

"Cause I'm just the best," Katie said, making a silly face to entertain the baby. She was such a great older sister to all of her siblings. "Plus I'll be around more now that I'm back. So what's on your mind?"

"Too much," she sighed. "I don't want to talk about it around the littles."

"We can always go to the kitchen," Katie said, standing up and sliding Lana to rest on her hip in order to hold out her other hand to me. "I could use a snack anyway. What happened?"

"Catty nurses," she groaned, following her oldest into the kitchen. "Did you want me to make you a sandwich? We've got that sliced roast chicken that you like."

"That sounds really good," Katie said, setting Lana inside her high chair and giving her a few of the dried yogurt chews that the baby liked. "So what did those bitches say?"

Melinda chuckled, gabbing all of the sandwich supplies from the fridge. "I'm a frumpy old bitch who's married to a Greek God by something short of a miracle."

"Who said that?" Katie looked like she could murder someone. "I'll go down there."

"No. You're not," she said, glancing up at her as she started to put together a sandwich for both of them. "It's just some nurse who's trying to screw your father. She's nobody."

"I'm sorry mom. I think you look great. It's only been six months," Katie reassured her, reaching over the island to squeeze her hand. "And if you really want, I could reup my gym membership and we can go together. Or we can pig out at Lentos. Your pick."

That made her laugh. Just like her father. "That's not a bad idea. I do miss spending time with you," she said, handing her a sandwich on a paper plate. "I'm so happy you moved back to Grandview."

"Me too," Katie said with a smile. "So it's settled then. We're going to gym together."

"Yes. Deal," she said. "Now I have a favor to ask."

"What's up?" Katie asked before biting into her sandwich.

Melinda put everything back into the fridge and closed it. "Will you take the girls for a couple of hours to you and Ned's apartment? I need to spend some time with your father after today." She asked. "I'll come pick them up after dinner."

Katie laughed, fully understanding. "Of course. Ned is likely working late tonight so it'll be nice to have the company. Should I expect another sister soon? Or maybe you'll finally have another boy."

That seemed unlikely and they both laughed that time. "Knowing your father, you never know," she teased. "That damn nurse would probably have a heart attack."

After getting the girls settled in Katie's car along with Lana's diaper bag, she watched the car drive off before going back inside. Her plan was to enjoy some alone time with Jim and have a nice dinner together after before going to pick up the kids. It was just what they both needed.

Melinda was just locking the front door when she heard the stairs creak, and her lips curve into a soft smile. Jim came down the stairs, his shaggy hair still wet from his shower and dressed in comfy pants and a white shirt. He came up behind and pulled her into his arms, cradling her against him. "Are we alone?" He asked softly in her ear, kissing her there.

"Yes. Katie took the girls," she told him. "We'll have to go pick them up later."

"Good. That's fine by me," he chuckled. "Now what do you want to do first or should we go straight to the bedroom?"

He loved her. Everything he'd ever done had shown her that, and yet Melinda was still surprised every day when she realized it's not an illusion. What they have together was real, and it's lasted the tests of over two decades of marriage, kids, and the depths of the supernatural.

"I'm not sure yet," she lied smugly and the look in his eye when she turned around proved he knew that. "Are you hungry?"

Jim lifted her chin and brushed his lips against hers. "I'm not hungry for dinner. Just you." He undressed her right there, slowly, savoring every second and guiding her to the couch while taking his shirt off. His bare chest rippled as she reclined on the cushions and waited half a moment before he was with her, warming her and making her feel alive.

He wanted her. Only her. His wife.

He began to slowly kiss his way down her body, pausing to kiss and suckle at her breasts, knowing that she was sore there more often than not with a newish baby. He was rewarded for his efforts with Melinda's soft moans and fingers playing with his hair. Next, he kissed lower, over her belly and then settled between her legs, gently nudging them apart as he kissed her knee and moved her thigh over his shoulder.

Melinda hiccupped out a little moan, her breath hitching as his mouth finally touched her. Her heel pressed into his back, and Jim moaned at her taste, her scent, the heat of her body. "Fuck," she choked, and when her husband moved one hand to sink two fingers inside of her, she let out a broken wail and clenched around them. He moved his fingers inside of her, crooking them until he felt that little spot, and she wailed again, so wet she's dripping down his knuckles. He focused his efforts on making her finish and he was quickly rewarded as she came with a shout that echoed off the walls, fluttering around his fingers as he kept his mouth on her until she's a shaking mess beneath him. She gasped, still fluttering a little as she touched his slick, bare shoulders. "Baby, please, c'mere."

He moved at her beck and call, and she made a needy sound as she yanked him into a blazing hot kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair, "Darling," he murmured, still tasting her on his tongue. "Do you believe me now?"

"I always did, but it is nice to be reminded," Melinda breathed out.

Jim nodded. Before he could speak, she dropped her hands to his pants, his stomach swooping and clenching with heat when her hands brushed his erection. Together, they freed him from his pants, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he settled against her again. "Melinda," he chanted as his hips rock against hers.

He will never get over this, her body so hot and welcoming around him, better than anything he could ever imagine. He groaned, burying his face in her neck as he took that first moment to just enjoy her. She doesn't mind. "God," she whispered, voice cracking, "you feel so good."

"So do you," he whispered back and rolled his hips into her as sets a nice, firm pace that soon had her thighs trembling where they're wrapped around his hips. When he grinded himself against her pelvis on an upward thrust, she moaned loudly, her hands scrabbling as she pulled him into a kiss as she pulsed around him, so close already as it seemed.

"Jim," she whined, "I'm so, god, fuck, I'm so close..."

"Then come for me," he urged, and when he bit her bottom lip softly she broke apart around him, the hot spasm of hers pulling his own orgasm right out of him as he gasped into her mouth, riding out the waves with tiny thrusts as he grasped her waist tightly.

"God," she groaned, thigh muscles quivering. "Maybe I should've made you carry me upstairs."

"In a minute," he sighed, tucking his face into her breasts. "I like it here."

A/N: I feel 14 again posting at 4am lol seems my insomnia will never truly go away for good... see you in the next update!