A/N: A long time ago I was planning on writing a more thorough reason for why Jim never died and how he survived the gunshot instead yada yada but its been years and at this point I'm lucky if I get the inspiration, let alone the time to sit down and write something worthy of wanting to post it. So this is as good as it's gonna get. Inspired by listening to Taylor Swift's album Midnights while editing something else. How very on brand for me to abandon something to write something completely new ;)

I have a scrapped timeline for when Jim got shot since I've tweaked the canon timeline so much that I had to in order for it to make sense for TLF as a whole. Just gonna say this as a warning, if you're pro-cop... this chapter ain't for you. It's not like I go on a rant about it in the chapter but ACAB and in canon the cop shot and killed Jim for literally no reason because he pulled the trigger with no information. Thank GOD for fanfic though :) Hope y'all can still enjoy

Ages:

Jim - 35
Melinda - 32
Katie - 7
Aaron - 3

Jim was used to waking up to screams in the middle of the night, but he's not used to them coming from his own nightmares.

Throughout their relationship, Melinda had experienced periods of time where her gift felt like a burden. Ghosts lingering with particular cases, specific visions that leave her screaming in terror until Jim wrapped his arms around her or worse, she woke up surrounded by EMTs or in the hospital.

He knew how to read her screams at this point; within moments he could bring her back from the images haunting her mind after years of practice. It's harder when the nightmares were his own with his demons playing on a loop each time he closed his eyes.

The night before he was shot was the last night he slept soundly, his arms wrapped around his wife as they laid together in bed.

That was three months ago.

When Melinda thought about that night, if she thought about it at all, all she could remember was feeling empty. Someone had shot her husband. His friend had shot him. A police officer had shot her husband for no good reason.

Carl fucking Neely.

When she got her hands on him... then he would know what it felt like for his life to be in danger.

"Melinda - DON'T. I have to call it in." Carl had shouted as she stepped through the shattered glass pane anyway because she didn't care what that man had to say to her.

"You shot my husband, Carl. Don't you dare try to tell me what to fucking do," she shouted back.

He didn't have the right to tell her what to do. Especially not as Jim was lying on the floor, too much blood draining from his body, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. He was delirious and in shock, she knew that much, but his eyes still lit up when he saw her.

"What are you doing here?" Was all he could muster, raising a shaky hand to grab onto hers.

"You were shot. Carl shot you." She was delirious too, and hot, wet tears were rolling down her cheeks as she kissed him. This couldn't be the last time that ever happened. "God, Jim, why can't you stay out of things sometimes?"

"That's coming from you?" He chuckled, wincing slightly enough to take her out of the moment.

"Yes, even from me." She said, pulling her sweater off leaving only her tank top on as she quickly wrapped it around his arm to hold pressure. "God, you're losing a lot of blood."

"You don't have to -"

Melinda cut him off. "I'm not letting you die because of him. We have two kids at home who love their daddy, and I won't let them lose you." She told him, holding tight on his arm even as it seeped through the fabric now and she glanced around the room for something else.

He smiled. A real smile. Not one of those fake ones he'd give to someone in passing. This she knew after ten years with him. "I know. I know. Please, Mel." He begged her. "What about you? Think about yourself. For me?" He groaned, trying to move her hands off of him. "I know this... this can be traumatizing. I don't want to do that to you."

"I don't scare easily, you know that," she told him, shaking her head. "This is not your fault."

"Mel," he hissed. "Please. The kids…"

She shook her head again. "No. Stop it." He wasn't going to distract her with heartfelt words and near-death confessions. "You are not fucking dying." She just had to keep telling herself that. "The kids are with Delia, remember? They are fine. You are fine. You still owe me another baby, remember?" She scolded him lightly, more tears falling down her face. Getting pregnant was the least of their worries right now compared to this morning. "So you can't die on me, and I'm not leaving you."

"I love you, but you are gonna have to move when the professionals get here you know," he said, likely only agreeing because they could hear the shrill whine of the ambulance sirens in the distance now.

"Do I?" She whispered.

"As stubborn as ever," he chuckled weakly, wincing again. "Please, Mel. I love you. Promise me that you'll let them do their job. I think Touch and Flaherty are both on tonight. Have Tim call Delia and make sure you're taken care of. For me."

Melinda didn't care about that. She only cared about him. "Fine? Okay, I promise if it's Bobby and Tim that I'll let them help you but no one else." She teased him, wanting to see his smile once more and kissing him when she did. "None of those amateurs they hired when you left for medical school are touching you."

The rest was a blur.

He woke that morning before she did. It's barely after dawn, but he knew sleep won't return to him for a while. Jim left a gentle kiss on Melinda's shoulder so as not to wake her before getting up and heading downstairs.

It won't be too long before she followed him down, though she'd check on the kids first even though they'll still both be fast asleep, so he went about preparing a pot of tea and contemplated toast and eggs as well.

The first flash shocked him so suddenly he dropped the cup in his hand. As it shatters to the floor he's overcome with images from that night again. It's all he can see. Melinda pleading with him to stay alive as tears stream down her beautiful face. The sound of terror in her voice directed at Carl as he called for help.

At the sound of glass shattering, Melinda woke with a start and descended into the kitchen, her nightgown billowing around her. She stepped around the broken pieces on the ground to get to him. Her soft, warm hands on his cheeks pulled him out of the horrifying flashback.

"Mel," he gasped, breathing heavily and pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her.

"What happened?" She asked into his shoulder as her nails scratch soothing circles against the nape of his neck. "Are you ok?"

"I…" Jim hesitated, the words stuck in his throat and her terrified face flashed again before his eyes.

He pulled back to look at her, brushing her hair out of her face. The look of horror on her face in his mind was quickly replaced by the one of love she wore in front of him now.

He smiled at her, his own fears receding with the need to comfort her. "I just got startled, hon." He kissed her forehead, "I'm sorry I woke you. The kids are still sleeping, right?"

She observed him for a moment and he knew he'd never been able to lie to her, but she didn't press. "I think so. I didn't check," she said softly.

His hands slid down to her hips and he gently guided her away from the shards of broken glass on the floor. "Here, why don't you go check on them quickly and I'll clean this up and finish breakfast."

There's a mix of worry and heartache in her eyes as she watched him continue to take labored breaths as he reached into the closet for the broom and dustpan.

"Alright honey. I'll be right back," she sighed.

Melinda wanted to talk about that night but he was not ready and she knew it. He'd been more than patient for her in the past and she would do the same for him now. She disappeared upstairs to check on Katie and Aaron and she came back to find him sweeping up the glass. She reached around him and pulled down a new glass, filling it with ice water.

"Here," she said. Offering him the glass and her open palm holding one of his anxiety pills.

He laughed softly, knowing it's exactly what he needed right now. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He said it lightly but there's a sincere truth in it, he probably wouldn't be here if not for her.

"Suffer probably," she said back in the same tone, catching his eye and willing him to feel the love behind her gaze. "The kids are still asleep."

"Good," he said, tossing the pill into his mouth with a drink of water after.

Jim made eggs and toast with jelly with a side of bacon and they ate it close together at the kitchen island. Her feet resting in his lap, his free hand rubbing back and forth along the lower half of her legs as they eat and share the morning paper.

"I think we should take a vacation," she said softly, looking at but not really reading the obituaries. He looked up at her over a mouthful of scrambled eggs and the sports section. "Just for a little while, a week or two. The kids would enjoy it and it would help distract them from it all."

"Okay," he agreed with little to no hesitation. If she wants a vacation, he was happy to take one. They hardly ever did and after nearly dying, all he wanted was to spend time with his wife and kids. "Any ideas? Or is there a ghost mission we have to take?"

She took his hand and leaned across her own legs to press a kiss into his knuckles. "No ghost. Not yet," she teased. "But I love that you'd want to go chasing after one, even now."

He kissed her on the cheek. "Always."

After a relatively normal day and fun trip to the park with their kids, they put both of them to bed and she could tell it had exhausted Jim to pick up Aaron and carry him to the bathroom to brush his teeth, but hadn't wanted to tell him no. Katie was old enough to know something was up and that her dad had been in the hospital for a few weeks, but hadn't asked too many questions yet. Though Melinda knew that day was coming soon from the worried look on her kid's face as she watched her father catch his breath after putting Aaron down in front of the sink.

Melinda rubbed her daughter's shoulder soothingly. "Don't worry, bug. Go brush your teeth, ok?"

"Ok," Katie said quietly, shuffling in beside her brother's step stool to brush her teeth.

She walked over to stand beside her husband in the hall bathroom, placing her hands on his chest to feel that his heart was racing. "You should go lie down. The walk to the park and back must've really worn you out," she said softly, trying her best not to sound demeaning, but wanting Jim to lie down.

He smiled at her. "I'm fine. Just need to take a second," he said. "Is everything good with Katie?"

"I think so. She's just worried about you, like all of us are," she reminded him. "So please take it easy."

He nodded as the water shut off in the bathroom. "I will," he told her, leaning down to kiss her lips briefly. "Promise."

"All done!" Aaron announced, jumping into the hallway and running into them with a force. "Will you read me a story daddy?

Jim groaned as Melinda intercepted their son quickly before he tried to jump on him again. "Be careful, buddy." She told him. "You don't want to hurt daddy now do you?"

Aaron shook his head, quiet now. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright bud. Just be careful next time, hmm?" He said, leading him towards his room. "I'll take care of him. You got Katiebug?"

She nodded, smiling at him as he walked past. Melinda wanted to talk to her anyway. It was time. Katie had been quietly standing in the bathroom doorway the entire time, but that wasn't exactly odd of her to do either. "Did you want me to read you a chapter before bed?" She asked, ushering her toward her room.

"Not really," Katie sighed, turning on her light as they walked in her room. "I'm just tired."

That wasn't like her. Fuck. Had she been paying too much attention to Jim that she'd let her daughter slip through the cracks? Melinda grabbed her daughter pajamas as she pondered how to talk to her about this.

"Is dad going to be ok?" Katie beat her to it. "I know it's been a while since he got home and I don't know what happened, but he's not dying right?"

"No. Your dad is not dying," she reassured her. Melinda wasn't sure what else to say. Katie was only seven. "He was in an accident and that's why he was in the hospital. He could've died, but the doctors saved him. I'm sorry that you didn't know that until now but we thought it would be better for you to know less when everything was still crazy. Does that make sense?"

Katie looked upset, but wasn't crying and didn't say anything either. Not for a minute. "I understand. Please just tell me if there's a next time. I won't tell Aaron. I'm old enough."

She hoped there was never a next time. "I promise. I'm sorry," she sighed, wiping away her own tears.

Katie hugged her before she could say anything else. "You're sure dad's not dying?" She asked again.

"No. God, no. I promise I'm telling you the truth. He's just got to be careful until he gets his strength back," Melinda told her, hugging her tightly, but that was it. "You swear you can keep a secret?"

"I swear!" Katie said, smiling as she went to change into her pajamas.

"Dad and I are thinking of taking a family vacation," she said quietly, in case Aaron was still awake enough to hear her though the thin walls. "Any ideas?"

"I'm always going to say Disney World," Katie giggled.

Not a bad idea. It would be fun now that Aaron is older, but she didn't say that out loud or she would never go to sleep and would definitely tell her brother. "In your dreams, bug," she teased. "Now are you sure you don't want me to read you anything?"

Katie shrugged as she got into bed. "I am kind of tired. I might just read on my own," her daughter said as she tucked her in. That was more like Katie.

"Okay, but no later than ten and we will come check," she said, kissing her forehead.

"Promise," Katie smiled. "Make sure dad comes in to say goodnight."

"Of course he will," she said. "Night bug. Enjoy your reading."

Jim was waiting in the hallway for her. "Disney World, huh?" He said, yawning.

"It's not a bad idea," she whispered. "But go in there and say goodnight. She thinks your dying."

That woke him up. "What?"

"She's worried about you. So I told her a little bit to calm her down," she explained.

"What did you tell her?" He asked.

"That you're not dying, but you got hurt and will need some time to recover. Cause she's old enough to ask questions. I had to tell her something," she sighed. "That's why I distracted her by telling her we're going to take a trip. Just didn't say where since we haven't decided."

He nodded. "God, she's getting too old. Soon she'll be driving."

"Yup, not to mention dating. Not exciting." She laughed, seeing the torment on his face. "At least you'll be alive to see it."

He smiled then. "Yes. Alive," he said, kissing her again. There was never a chance that he didn't take to do that anymore. "And with all of you. Just the way I want it."

"Good," she said against his lips before they parted. "Now go in there and say goodnight."

"Wait up," he said, heading into the room slightly.

"Maybe," she teased with a wink. "I'll be in the shower."

Melinda cranked the heat in her shower as warm as it could get, which, after the kids had both taken their baths, was not very warm, but it was at least hot enough to start relaxing some of the tension in her neck and shoulders as she tilted her head forward and let the water stream over her body. This was exactly what she'd needed. Well, not exactly.

She hadn't had any alone time for a while, and rather more distressingly, she and Jim had had almost no alone time at all since he got home. Between the stress of his injury and his long recoup process that was ahead of them, it was the last thing on their minds. Plus juggling two children was a lot harder with her husband on bed rest until last week, though she wouldn't change her life for anything, of course, but she truly did miss their life before he got shot. As selfish as that was.

She ran her hands up and down her wet, soapy flanks, and hummed to herself, toes curling with anticipation. It wasn't as much fun as being with Jim, certainly, but well - beggars can't be choosers, and Melinda wasn't going to look too hard at any chance to have an orgasm now that those were in scarce supply these days.

She shifted her stance, widening her thighs, reaching down to run a teasing hand between them, already a little slick with anticipation, and then slid her hands up to fondle and caress her own breasts, moaning softly when she plucked at her tender nipples, and the sensation went right to her core when she tugged on them lightly.

When she slid one hand back between her legs, she was wet and hot, and she moaned to herself when she found her clit with one finger and flicked over it in tiny movements that made her thighs shake a little. This would be better if she could lay down or maybe dig out her vibrator, but fuck if it still didn't feel absolutely incredible.

She kept one hand on her breast and worked the other between her legs, not trying to race along to the finish but instead enjoying the slow burn as tension began to build low in her belly. She was starting to get close when suddenly the shower curtain was being pulled back and Melinda froze in surprise, only to blink in astonishment when she saw Jim sliding into the shower.

In the heat of the moment, she'd forgotten he would be joining her. "Jim! You startled me." she said in surprise. She relaxed her awkward stance; after eleven years of marriage and two kids, there was no shame or awkwardness between them, and he'd seen her naked so many times that she couldn't keep track if she wanted to.

He chuckled. "Usually you don't startle that easily. I didn't think I took that long, but I wanted to make sure Katie was alright," he said as he looked her up and down very slowly. She felt her body give a sharp, keen throb. She could feel his desire like a physical touch, so familiar to her after over a decade together, and her mouth watered when she saw his cock stir, filling up and curving against his belly. He curled a hand around her neck and pulled her closer until their faces were only inches apart. "What were you doing, hmm?" She shivered when he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in a teasing whisper of a kiss, his tongue darting out to lick her lower lip and making her moan softly. "Have you been enjoying yourself without me?"

She shivered again. "I'd rather enjoy you, but-"

"Dr. Paterson said a moderate amount of physical activity is good for me. It'll only help me get stronger. Plus at the last visit he did say I was clear to have sex with my beautiful wife again," he said, and pulled her into a kiss, moaning happily as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close so his hands could roam her bare back and grope the curve of her ass. When his fingers eventually brushed between her thighs, she gasped into his mouth. "Oh, you dirty girl. You definitely started without me." He pulled away, pushing her wet hair away from her eyes and cupping her cheek.

"I wasn't sure if we should still wait and I've been tense for obvious reasons," she said. Her entire body felt like a live wire, begging for touch. "But if that's what the doctor ordered."

"This doctor is ordering it," he chuckled and pulled her into another kiss at the same time as he grasped one of her legs to pull it around his waist so he could drop his hand between her legs where she was wet and aching, and she gasped, rocking into him with practiced ease. He knew her body so well, and he knew how to get her off so fast, and she choked on a groan, riding his fingers as he plucked and swirled where she wanted, while kissing her like he'd die again if he stopped.

She clung to his shoulders. "Jim," she pleaded, breathless against his lips.

He smiled into the kiss and leaned down to suck on her neck, making her cry out, and when he slid those two fingers inside of her and curled them, her knees nearly gave out, but he just held her up. "Come for me, Mel," he said, mouthing at the tender spot behind her ear, and Melinda broke apart with a series of breathy, hoarse cries that she smothered into his chest as she spasmed around his fingers. He worked her through it, moving his fingers and rubbing right there, and she was nearly cross-eyed by the time the aftershocks began to fade.

"Fuck," she moaned, leaning into him and letting him drop her trembling leg back to the shower floor. She stood on her tiptoes, their bodies pressed together from chest to knees. "I've missed this," she said softly.

His face softened, and he kissed her again, this time tender and sweet. "I've missed this, too," he murmured.

She nuzzled at his neck, kissing a path back to his lips and kissing him again and again, hunger already stirring in her belly again. "Mmm… Jim?" she breathed out.

"I don't know if I could carry you just yet," he sighed.

"No, I know. But you will and for now, I'll race you," she said and shut the water off with an absent move of her hand as she hopped out of the shower with a laugh. She ran for the bedroom, not bothering to look behind her as she knew Jim would tackle her into bed.