Chapter 373

Self-control was usually something that Lucien prided himself on. He really was rather good at it. Very good at it. Growing up in the Autumn Court as he had, trying to always dance around Beron and his older brothers, Lucien had become quite adept at not doing everything he wanted, and although he had often struggled to control his tongue, he had managed. He had become rather better at holding his tongue after Amarantha had ripped his eye out and scarred his face. He supposed that the bitch would probably be pleased that her "lesson" had been effective. Now, however, Lucien found himself struggling with his self-control.

The sun had risen above the horizon, and Helion stood by the door, giving last minute directions and orders to his guards, and Lucien released his mother. Ashk bit her lip as she looked at him. "Be careful, love." She told him gently, her hand rubbing at his shoulder, and Lucien nodded, his gaze catching on Elain who stood just behind Ashk. His mate's dark eyes were on him, following his every move, and Lucien didn't know how he was going to have the self-control to walk out that door without her. When Ashk moved away from Lucien, heading for Helion, Luicen took several steps toward his mate, his arms going around her waist ad lifting her from the ground in a tight hug. The way that she melted around him, holding him close and burying her face in his hair made his heart hurt.

After they had come back from behind the bookshelves only minutes before Lucien was thankful that everybody else in the room had feigned innocence and ignorance as to what he and Elain had been doing out of sight, even though Lucien knew there was no way that they were unaware. He'd felt the anxiety in Elain and that had relaxed when nobody had so much as looked their way. Her anxiety had returned now however, and Lucien knew that it was because he was about to leave.

"Please," Elain breathed, face still in his hair. "please don't do anything unnecessarily reckless…"

"I won't." He told her, hands firm on her back. She trembled beneath his touch, and Lucien's heart ached again.

"Please be careful."

"I promise, Petal."

She squeezed him, and Lucien tried to ready himself to let her go. It wasn't that easy, however, and he couldn't make his arms release her. He heard the door to the hallway open and Elain's arms tightened around him. "Not yet…" She breathed, and he rubbed her back.

"You told me you wanted me back here before nightfall." He told her gently, "I promise that I will be back here, I will have you wrapped comfortably in my arms again before the sun sinks, Petal."

"A promise…" she murmured, lifting her head to meet his eyes, "that I will hold you to."

"See that you do." He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and she smiled at him. Then, Elain did something that Lucien didn't think he would have been able to do, no matter how much self-control he thought that he possessed. She let him go. Unable to help himself, Lucien's fingertips trailed down his mate's arm to her wrist. "Here…" he said, slipping the wrist cuff that she had given him as a mating gift off of his own wrist. He pressed it into her hand. "Keep this safe for me…"

Elain blinked as she looked down at it. "You had better return to claim it."

"I will." He breathed the words, unable to drag his eyes from her beautiful face now.

"Lucien…" Helion's voice from behind him startled him and his breath caught in his throat, nearly choking him.

He was torn, Lucien realised. Torn between two sides of who he was and who he wished to be. He was Elain's mate, and he wanted to stay here with her and protect her. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to walk away and leave her somewhere he would not be able to see while terrible things were happening all over the palace. But, he was Helion's son. He was the Heir of the Day Court and this was a role that he had found he cherished. He wished to be able to do his duty, and do it well. He new that he couldn't sit by without doing everything in his power to help rid this place, his home, of those who wished to do harm.

Elain slipped his wrist cuff over her hand and secured it around her own wrist. "Part of me wants to ask you not to go." She said, and Lucien nodded.

"Part of me doesn't want to go." He replied, eyes meeting Elain's dark ones. The look she gave him was understanding and, again, she did what he didn't think he would be able to do. Elain took a step back, eyes not leaving his face.

"I know." She told him. "And the other part needs to." He gave her a grim smile, and she nodded "Then do it."

Straightening himself, Lucien drew a deep breath, willing himself steady. "Yes, Petal." He would do this. He would go with his father and the guard, do what they needed to to take back their home, and then return to his mate when the Palace was safe. Before dark. As he had promised.

"Lucien…" Helion's voice came again and Lucien took a step toward the High Lord. Ashk was beside Helion and both of his parents looked at him with knowing expressions. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Lucien nodded, looking to his mother who had wrapped an arm around Elain when she came to stand with them. "… take care of my mate."

"Of course." Ashk told him gently, and Lucien knew that his mother would do anything and everything in her power to protect Elain for him.

He smiled, trying to arrange his face into a mask of confidence as surety. He wanted to look like he was certain that this would be easy and that he wasn't afraid to leave them here, but he wasn't sure that he managed it. His father's hand came down on his shoulder and Lucien moved with him toward the door. "Before dark." He said, eyes on Elain and she nodded once. Then, Lucien turned and stepped out into the hallway with the others.