Chapter 483

The afternoon sun had grown warmer, and Elain was getting thirsty. It was bizarre, she thought, to be so thirsty while literally surrounded by water as she floated in it, and she pulled her gaze from the azure sky to look at her sisters nearby. Feyre must have had the same thought she did, because her younger sister sat up in the water, putting her feet down as she swept her wet hair back from her face.

"Ooof…" Feyre gave a lazy stretch, "I would really like something cold to drink."

"It is warm." Nesta agreed from somewhere to Elain's left.

"I'll go and get us all something." Feyre began wading for the steps, and Elain watched her sister climb out of the pool and wrap a blue towel around her waist. "I'll be back soon." With that, Feyre was gone and Elain kicked her feet idly, enjoying the coolness surrounding her.

"Your patience with Feyre is diminishing."

Elain turned to look at Nesta, still floating low in the water. "What do you mean?"

Moving closer, Nesta looked at Elain with assessing eyes. "The way you are with her lately…" Nesta said, "Less forgiving than before…"

"I'm tired of her looking down on Lucien." Elain replied, "I told her that… She continues to do it." Giving a huff, Elain made a small splash. "She and Rhys seem to think they're… separate… from everyone else."

"I know." Nesta said simply. "They live high above everyone, and cast judgement down on all those beneath them."

Elain eyed Nesta, wondering how her sister managed to deal with that. "So it would seem." She paused for a moment before asking the question she had been wondering for a while, "Is that why you want to stay here?"

Nesta blinked and tilted her head. "Not entirely, but it would provide a nice break." She said, "I've not seen the Courts as you have, and the Day Court seems…comfortable."

"It is."

"I thought it would be nice to spend some time here, and see a place that is not the Night Court as well as spend some time with you." Her sister gave her a soft smile; one that Elain had not seen in quiet some time. "I miss seeing you."

"And I miss you." Elain replied, a little surprised that Nesta would be so forthright in such a public pace, although they were quite alone. "Little visits are not quite the same as inhabiting the same place…"

"Very true." Nesta came even closer, "I would also like to better know this place that you have claimed as home." Grey-blue eyes swept over Elain, "To see how you have changed and grown."

"You think the Day Court has done that?"

"No…" Nesta mused, "It had begun before you came here…"

"I believe you are correct." She thought about it for a moment, before adding, "Lucien showed me the world…"

"Yes…" Nesta's voice was thoughtful, "He did… and is the Day Court your favourite?"

"Oh…" Elain considered.

"If you could have picked any of them to live in… not because Lucien is the Heir or for family, but just the place itself…"

"I… Would think the Spring Court." Elain smiled, "It is wonderful." She pictured the perfect gardens, with those perfect flowers and a sweet scent on the breeze, and then she pictured the Glade she and Lucien visited. "Before we went, Lucien once descried the Spring Court to me as what he imagined my perfect world would look like; if I had been able to craft a piece of the world from my mind."

Nesta raised an eyebrow, "That sounds…" Nesta broke off, and Elain wondered what her sister had been about to say. "You would choose the Spring Court, then?"

"Yes…" Elain smield, "But I would be spending an awful lot of time visiting the Winter Court."

"Would you?"

"Oh, Nes," Elain smiled again, "The Winter Court is so unlike any of the others. It… It is… like… well, I nearly described it as a quintessential Yuletide Faerieland… but that's exactly what it is."

"Sounds beautiful…" Nesta commented, and Elain nodded.

"I really think you would love it there…" She had told Nesta that before, when she and Lucien had first returned after their visit to the Winter Court, and she could still imagine Nesta striding down the halls of Kallias' palace. The Winter Court would suit Nesta.

"I will go and see it." Nesta told her, "I will go and see them all."

"In my garden earlier, you said that you hoped you would find your home…" Elain wondered if that was what Nesta was after in wanting to stay in the Day Court for a while.

"I do…" her sister swirled her hands around in the water a little. "It is clear that this is your home… You have found the place you belong. Lucien will be the High Lord here some day, and you will rule here… Feyre and Rhys belong in the Night Court. They have their home." Nesta's spine straightened and she lifted her chin. "I would also like to have that. My place."

"I know how you feel." Elain told her. "That is how I felt when living there… as Feyre's guest."

"Yes." Nesta murmured, "Always a guest."

"Would…" Elain hesitated, not sure where her sister stood with Cassian, "would Cassian leave the Night Court?" She asked, "Would he leave Rhys?"

Nesta's face was unreadable. "You do not think he would?"

"It would be a hard choice…" Elain mused, "Rhys is like his brother…"

"You chose Lucien over your actual sisters…"

Blinking, Elain looked at Nesta. "Is that what you think?"

"Not the way it sounded…" her sister sounded apologetic. "But you chose to move your life away from where you lived with your family to be with Lucien."

"I did…"

"Would it be unreasonable then, to think that Cassian might…" Nesta seemed unable to finish the sentence, and her eyes appeared unfocused. "Just because he's male doesn't mean that he gets to determine…" Her sister's gaze met hers. "You are in the Day Court because Lucien belongs here. Feyre is in the Night Court because Rhys is High Lord… I will determine my own place."

Watching Nesta for a moment, Elain hoped that her sister would find what she wanted. "I do think you will love the Winter Court."

"Will you forgive Feyre?"

"What?" Blinking, Elain looked at Nesta with confusion, not having followed her train of thought.

"For what she has said about Lucien."

Giving a sort of huff, Elain looked to the sky. "What she has said is the least of what she has done." She saw Nesta's questioning look, and she sighed. "I… find it difficult… to let go of the fact that she so carelessly used him to spy for Rhys and had no regret for the danger in which she cast him." She looked imploringly at Nesta, "And this was after the mating bond… She knew…"

"I know…" Nesta murmured.

"She would not forgive us if we had done such a thing to Rhys."

"No…" Nesta agreed. "If it came to it, then… you would choose Lucien over Feyre?"

Elain blinked at her sister. "I do not wish to consider a situation in which that would be necessary…" She murmured, "But, hypothetically? Hmm…" Elain tilted her head, "My sister who does not appear to consider the consequences of her actions on others… versus the kindest heart I have ever encountered…?" She looked at Nesta, "Do you not agree?"

Nesta smiled at her, "Lucien does not have the kindest heart I have ever encountered." Her sister wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You do."

Glancing at her sister, Elain gave a small shake of her head. "If that were true, I would be able to shake from my thoughts what Feyre did."

"You still love her, don't you?" Nesta asked, and Elain nodded. "Then time will help."

"I hope so." Elain said, and they were silent for a moment.

"The world is not kind, as a whole." Nesta said softly. "And it has not been kind to your mate, perhaps that is why you have been given to one another."

Elain thought about that. Thought about all the horrible things the bond had seen fit to show her from Lucien's life as they had been getting to know one another. It had been one horrible thing after another. His life growing up in Beron's Court, what happened to Jesminda, Amarantha taking his eye, torturing him after Feyre's first trial, neary killing him during the second trial, Ianthe… Elain closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to dispel the images from her mind as her stomach twisted and nausea moved through her. "No," She agreed softly, "The world has not been kind to Lucien." Glancing up at Nesta, Elain tried to steady herself. "So I will make it."