I had to rewrite much of this chapter, so because of that it took a few days longer than usual to post this.
The reason for this was a rather important event for this story that I decided to postpone until later. This event will happen after the Dawnguard DLC.
After some time of traveling, Serana and the others finally arrive in Fort Dawnguard. The Moth Priest Dexion Evicus now with them.
"So this is Fort Dawnguard?" Dexion observed the place for a moment. "Impressive."
Lucien agrees. "It truly is. Come on, we need..." The blonde Imperial was suddenly interrupted by Isran.
"Finally, you all returned." The stoic Redguard puts his eyes on Dexion. "He is the Moth Priest?"
Dexion nods. "Yes, I am. Dexion Evicus, at your service."
"Good. Then let's not waste any time. Can you read the Elder Scroll now?" Isran as always, only focusing on the objective.
Dexion quickly denies. "Reading an Elder Scroll isn't like reading a mere book. It needs some time for preparation."
Isran didn't like what he heard. "We don't have all that time! This is an urgent matter!"
"I know it is, but even so you'll have to wait." Dexion said. "I'll prepare myself as fast as I can, but even so it takes time."
The Redguard tried to argue with the Moth Priest a little more, but Dexion was decided. Isran sighs once he notices this was a lost battle to him. "Fine. Follow me, old man. Let me take you to someplace where you can rest and prepare yourself." Dexion followed Isran and both exited the place, going upstairs.
Serana then looks around her for a moment. "Do you guys think Vardall and the Nerevarine returned already?"
Lucien shrugs. "Let's have a look around. They might be helping someone, eating, sleeping or anything else."
The entire group agrees and they search the entire fort for any sight of both, also asking people about them. But it didn't take too long for them to find out Vardall and Nerevar hadn't returned yet. Serana and the others arrived there first.
That made everyone confused. "Do you think something happened?" Arissa suggests. "I mean, if they truly only visited the Shrine of Azura, they should be here a long time before us, given the distance."
Lucien is the next to talk. "They probably had to deal with something on the way. I'm sure they're okay." Actually, for now, most of the group was not worried about their safety. They knew very well of what Vardall was capable of, and Nerevar wasn't necessary to say. That man already defeated Gods. Now, they knew it wasn't very much what they could do now. They rescued the Moth Priest and the only thing left for them to do was wait.
# # # # # #
The walk back to Fort Dawnguard was made under complete silence. Not for necessity, but choice. Vardall now had many things running through his mind, things he was partially afraid of the answers. Not even the cute baby griffon sleeping in his arms made him feel better.
Was Vardall and Leliana's love something real or another manipulation of Azura?
Also had the revelation that Leliana was pregnant with Vardall's child. That hit him like a carriage and he didn't know what to do. Not to mention what Azura said, that his child would realize greater deeds than Vardall himself. He could hardly accept being a mere pawn in a God's playthings, but the woman he loved and his unborn child?
Yet Leliana and her pregnancy wasn't the only thing that dominated his mind. Azura's last warning was what was worrying Vardall the most now. What was she talking about when she said to "Carefully watch over your Khajiit companion" ? During the last months, Vardall and Inigo created a strong bond of friendship and companionship, always sharing stories and protecting each other's backs, so he didn't believe Inigo would do something like betray him, so it had to be something else. Whatever was Azura was talking about, Vardall would do whatever it takes to protect and keep Inigo safe. He already lost many friends in Thedas and here in Tamriel to lose one more.
While walking, Vardall suddenly feels they're being watched. He stops walking and focuses on his surroundings, feeling something, or better, someone. Someone who should be dead.
"What's wrong, Vardall?" Nerevar asks, but Vardall then starts looking around quickly, almost desperately, without even thinking on the griffon on his arms. His actions were more than enough to make Nerevar worry, and he quickly takes Trueflame and Hopesfire in each of his hands.
For some time the only sounds the two warriors heard were the unnerving sound from the wind, some animals and Vardall's own nervous breathing. For several minutes they remained there, watchful, but nothing happened. After some more time, Vardall finally calm down and simply turns arround and starts walking. "Let's go, now."
"Wait!" Nerevar now was even more confused and followed Vardall to try get answers.
The Grey Warden felt a presence he tought he would never fell again, that he was sure it was been killed by his own hand and had no idea how this happened here in Tamriel. If he wasn't so worried now, he perhaps would have noticed the same crow from before watching him again.
# # # # # #
A few days had passed since Serana and the others have returned to the place. Dexion still was preparing himself to read the Elder Scroll, and now the fact that Vardall and Nerevar still haven't returned to the fort started to worry the group. It was no secret to them that traveling around Skyrim on foot always takes too much time but that didn't stop them from being worried.
It was almost night outside the fort, so Serana used that moment to walk a little and be alone with her thoughts, especially about something that was confusing her for quite some time. Why when Malkus insulted Vardall, Serana acted that way, with anger and even hate? Why would a mere insult directed to the Dragonborn affect her like that?
It was no mystery Serana was always lonely her entire life. Apart from the rare moments where she helped her mother take care of her garden, she always was very isolated. She never had real friends and her relation with her father wasn't the best one, even before they all became servants of Molag Bal. It was safe to say that the group she is now traveling with are the first real friends she had in her entire life. People who accept her for who she is and treat her very well, Vardall being the main one.
The Grey Warden certainly was who she was closer to. They shared many things in common and to be honest, Serana was starting to even admire the man. Because of her past, she was extremely careful with feelings such as that, but Vardall truly was someone she was able to identify with his ideals. He always talked and believed about absolute freedom, to live only to yourself and no one else, and also to help and free those who are oppressed, no matter who. Those ideals obviously started to grow on him while he lived inside the Circles of Magi of Thedas against his will and watched all the time the constant oppression mages constantly suffered from Templars.
Serana spends her entire life trying to please her parents, but always ends up being treated and used by them like a mere pawn, and not like a daughter. Meeting someone like Vardall truly was refreshing and something Serana knew she needed. All of that, together with his friendship, made her start to deeply care about him as someone she knew she could trust, a true friend... and sometimes probably more.
Serana caught herself more and more times thinking about Vardall. His appearance, his personality... even laughing from the bad jokes he tells once and a while and on his attempts to make the mood better. Part of her was afraid to admit, because of her past traumas, but she was starting to feel something by the Dragonborn and Grey Warden.
Her thoughts are interrupted when she hears two Dawnguard members talking about her with her enhanced hearing.
"So, what's your opinion about the vampire that's helping us?" A female asks, Serana recognizes her voice as being from a Khajiit.
"I think Isran is getting too soft." Serana recognizes the other voice as being from a male Argonian. "Allowing the enemy to walk free around our base..."
The Khajiit raises an eyebrow. "You don't believe her intention to help us is true?"
The Argonian answers. "Not a little. She is likely here as a spy and used that Elder Scroll to fool us all by thinking she's friendly. She will betray us one day, and when that day comes, she's dead."
"I say for us to wait and see." The female Khajiit says. "Well... it's better we return to our patrols before Isran catches us talking."
The male Argonian nods. "Agreed. I'll see you later." And then they both part ways, not seeing Serana.
Even while helping Dawnguard against her father, Serana knew most of the organization didn't trust her. Only people like Gunmar, Agmaer and other very few members were nice to her, but to be honest, Serana didn't blame them for that. Her kind truly deserves all the fear and hate mortals have for them.
Already having enough, Serana decides to walk back to the fort. At this time, the others were eating on a table next to where Gunmar trains the trolls, so Serana decides to join them. Arriving there, the vampire sees Inigo and Lucien talking about some random things Serana didn't know what it means, but the Imperial and the Khajiit were obviously having fun. Meanwhile, Arissa was petting Bran and feeding him. She already told them her family used to have a dog, and that the dog and Arissa were really close, almost like how Vardall was with his old Mabari hound, Sif.
Inigo notices Serana and waves to her. "Hey, Serana. You're okay?"
Serana smiles and nods. "Yes, I am. Thanks for asking, Inigo." She says while taking some food for her to eat, specially a piece of venison. That called the attention from the rest of the group.
"Do you eat normal food?" Arissa asks. "You don't need only blood?"
Serana looks at her. "There's more on eating food than simply nutrition, you know. It's true, vampires don't need to eat, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy the smell or the taste of good food once and a while." Then she eats a piece of the venison.
The group then started to talk about some things. Arissa and Inigo were discussing who was the best with the bow, and Serana made a strange question if Inigo purr when he's happy, making everyone laugh. It was a happy and nice moment to end the day, but of course their concerns for Vardall and Nerevar still existed. They just decided to keep that out of their minds for a while and relax a little.
Back at the entrance of Fort Dawnguard, Gunmar was trying to do his work the best he could before the end of the day. Isran told him to do work on some new trolls that had arrived yesterday and made them ready for combat. This was the most difficult part of all: "domesticate" those savage beasts so they don't start attacking everyone on sight, especially Dawnguard members.
He had finished talking with Sorine and was going back to continue his work, then when he was passing near the Fort's entrance, the big door was open and he heard a voice calling for him. "Gunmar!"
Looking to the side, Gunmar immediately spots Vardall and one of his friends. He also notices the Dragonborn was carrying something in his arms.
"Good to see you again, Vardall." Gunmar says. "Something I can do for you?"
While Vardall approached Gunmar, the Nord finally noticed he was carrying some small animal in his arms. He became surprised and confused once he noticed it was a baby griffon. "Sorry to interrupt, but I needed to talk with you."
"It's okay. I have some time to spend now anyway." Gunmar finally notices it was a baby griffon Vardall had in his arms. "Is this a griffon? I thought they lived only on the Summerset Isles. What is one doing in Skyrim?"
"It's... a long story." Vardall says. "But the important part is that we found this little one wounded and alone in the middle of the snow. Given your experience on how to deal with animals, I wanted to know if you could take care of him for now."
The Nord raises one eyebrow. "I never dealt with a griffon before." He quickly analyzes the little griffon, immediately seeing his broken wing and some scars all around his body. This little guy had suffered a lot.
Gunmar then sighs. "But I guess I could take care of him for now." Vardall smiles and delivers the griffon to Gunmar, who right away went to make something to treat his wounded wing. Both Vardall and Nerevar became more relieved with that now.
"Oh, Vardall!" Gunmar says, making Vardall look at him again. "Serana and your other friends are already here." The Nord says that, making Vardall raise his eyebrows. "They are there, eating and chatting." Gunmar points to where the others are.
"Thanks, Gunmar." The Dragonborn says, and now Gunmar goes away to treat the griffon's wing.
Meanwhile at the table, Lucien was telling the others a little more about her past. "I'll never forget when my father gave me my first history book. It was a special day." He continues to talk until she spots Vardall and Nerevar walking until them. He raises both his eyebrows and smiles. "Vardall!"
Lucien's words made everyone look behind and they also put their eyes now on Vardall and Nerevar. They all smile and sigh, relieved that both their friends were here, safe and sound. Bran immediately runs and keeps barking and endlessly walking in circles in front of Vardall.
Even not being in the best mood, Vardall can't stop himself from smiling, crouching and petting his husky friend. "Sorry we're late. We had some... unexpected problems." Nerevar stops next to Vardall and crosses his arms, but is smiling under his helm. The entire group on the table quickly gets up and walks until both men.
"What happened?" Serana quickly asks. "Why did you both take so long?"
While Vardall was petting Bran, the entire group finally notices the strange, bright and majestic greatsword on his back, with lightning constantly emanating from the beautiful blade. And only when Vardall stands up, the group gets a better view of his Grey Warden armor.
"Nice armor, Vardall." Arissa quickly comments. "Where did you get it? It must have cost a lot of gold." The others also seemed impressed by his new armor.
Vardall touched the armor's chest, right upon the golden Griffon Rampant carved on it. "Actually... This isn't new, It's quite old." The group becomes confused with his words. Vardall quickly answers. "This is my old Grey Warden armor."
Everyone became even more confused with his words. "The armor you used on Thedas?" Inigo asks. "How did you get it back?"
The Grey Warden signs and signals with his hand to the table next to them. "I think it's better if we all sit down. It's a long and hard to swallow story."
They looked at each other, still confused. Yet, they obey and sit back on the table. Vardall and Nerevar sit right after.
The Dragonborn places both his hands upon the table. "Well... Our visit to the Shrine of Azura was strange, to say at least." Then Vardall told his friends almost everything that happened. He told them that was Aranea Ienith who rescued him from death on Thedas. The baby griffon they found. About Azura choosing him as her new champion. The mysterious Eluvian that existed on Tamriel. Azura manipulating Leliana so that she and Vardall met each other and that she was pregnant, and Azura's Star, which Vardall shows to the group, shocking all of them, specially Lucien. The only part he omits from them was Azura's warning for Vardall to keep a watchful eye over Inigo. He was afraid how his Khajiit friend would react to that.
When Vardall told them about how Azura manipulated Leliana, so that she and him could meet each other, Serana noticed how much affected he became. She could notice a mixture of anger and deception in his eyes. When Vardall was done talking, silence was upon everyone. They already heard and present lots of strange strange bizarre things, but still that was something you don't hear everyday.
Finally, after many seconds of silence, Vardall sighs and gets up, making everyone look at him. "It was a long and stressful day. I'll go to my room and try to sleep a little." The Dragonborn starts to walk away and no one dares to try to stop him. They knew he needed to rest and sometimes just to himself. Vardall climbs the stairs of Fort Dawnguard in the direction of his private quarters. Isran was gentle enough to give him a private room with a bed, some bookshelves, a dressing table and even a bathtub.
He opens the door of his room and enters. He sighs and starts to fill the bathtub with water. Once he's finished, he starts to remove his gear, leaving his Grey Warden armor and greatsword on an empty corner from the room. Next he removes his clothes, now being totally naked, allowing his body covered with scars to finally breathe. He checks the water from the bathtub with his hand and is received by one cold sensation. He then casts fire on his hands and warms the water, being careful to not put the bathtub into fire, remembering all the times he already did that inside the Circle of Magi tower. Once the water was warm enough, he stops and finally enters the bathtub, grunting and feeling his entire body relax once the only part of his body not covered by the warm water is his head.
Vardall closes his eyes, finally having a time just for himself. This allows him to lose himself within his thoughts for a time. He opens his eyes and removes his necklace, looking at it right on his right hand. That necklace was a gift from Leliana to him, a gift he received after their first kiss and that was one symbol of their love. A love that now Vardall doubts was something real or a mere fabrication.
He then drops the necklace on the ground, making no effort to take it back. He sighs and closes his eyes again, resting his head and relaxing once more. In the past and when things were more simple, he would have Leliana with him. She sat on his lap while he had his arms around her and they both just enjoyed the moment and the sensation of having both their naked bodies so close to each other. Sometimes, Leliana would tease Vardall by shaking her hips, and he would answer by smiling and massaging her breasts and others of her erogenous zones. All of that would end on them sharing a love night they wish to last forever.
But now, he was here, alone. His only company being his own thoughts and the silence.
He sighs and washes his hair. Finally clean, he leaves the bathtub, dries himself and puts on some comfortable pants. He always sleeps like this when he is alone: only with pants and without a shirt. Vardall then sits in front of his dressing table and looks to himself through the mirror. He had passed through lots of things since he arrived in Tamriel and had changed in some ways. Even though now he had his old gear with him, he wanted to do something to show the entire world he was not the same anymore. Taking a pair of scissors, Vardall starts cutting his hair. One of his main characteristics was his mullet, and he knew if he cut it out, he would look like almost another person.
He cuts a great part of his hair with the scissors, and once he finishes, his hair is now at the same style as Cullen and Alistair's hair, but black. He also takes a razor and trim his beard a little, but not entirely. He would not be insane to completely remove his beard, since he likes his beard a lot. Once he finishes, Vardall carefully watches him in the mirror. Without his mullet, he truly looked like another person.
Even not being all that exaggerated, Vardall always was very careful with his appearance. He was not afraid to get dirty or to earn scars, as his body and face already suggests, but he always did his best to at least take a decent care with his face and body. Vardall never understood those stupid thoughts that for you to be consider a "real man", you should never care about your looks, never shave and be hairy like a werewolf. Honestly, Vardall hated all the degenerated men who thought like that.
While he was admiring his new and renovated appearance, Vardall heard someone knocking on his door.
"It's open." Vardall loudly says, without taking his eyes from the mirror. He was not ashamed to talk with someone without his shirt, it was normal to him. Then the door behind him opens and Serana passes through it.
"Vardall, do you..." Serana stops talking the moment she puts her eyes on Vardall's naked back. She could not stop looking, but it was not with admiration, it was with astonishment. His entire back was covered by irregular patterns of scars, a countless amount of scars Serana never saw in her entire life.
Once he sees Serana through the mirror, Vardall gets up and faces her. At that moment, Serana notices even more scars spread through his chest and abdomen, but it wasn't greatly numerous like the ones he had on his back. She also notices some scars in both his hands and some burn marks on his body lateral side.
Of course, Serana also analyzes Vardall's body through more than just his scars. One fact that surprised her was that Vardall didn't have big muscles like she thought he had. He had muscles, of course. But it was average muscles, not the big ones he would need to have to wear those heavy armors and use those big greatswords, sometimes with just one hand. Only now she remembers when Vardall told her about the special Arcane Warrior skills he has, similar to Tamriel's battlemages. But instead of having to train to wear and use heavy warrior gears, he could simply use his own magicka, or mana (Since Vardall until now only uses Thedas' magic and none from Tamriel.), to boost his physical strength, at the cost he would became exhausted more quickly. But as always, Vardall already was better at that and didn't get heavily tired so easily.
"Hey." Vardall snaps his fingers close to his face to call Serana's attention, which works. He now has a funny smile on his face while looking at her. "I know my body is impressive, but don't stare too much, or you'll make me blush." He giggles and makes one more of his bad jokes. But the part about making him blush was not joking. Serana realizes she must have looked at his body for too much time. She would blush, if she could.
"So..." Vardall calls her attention again. "What do you think?" She asks while showing her his new haircut, that only now she notices.
"It's nice, really nice." Serana smiles. "Being honest, you're much more beautiful now."
Vardall's smile gets even bigger. "Beautiful, huh?"
Serana raises her eyebrows, only now noticing what she said. "I... I don't..." Serana begins to stutter. "You know what I mean!"
Vardall laughs. "Relax, relax. I'm just joking." But then after some seconds his smile disappears. He had an impression that he knew why Serana gazed at his body as soon as she put her eyes on it. She would not be the first.
He sighs and turns, showing his back full of scars again to Serana. "Do you wanna know?"
The vampire quickly realizes what he was talking about. "I... are you sure about it?" Serana was curious about his scars, but she didn't want to make him remember any unpleasant memories he had about them.
Vardall sighs. "Yes, I am." Still reluctantly, Serana signs with her hand for Vardall to continue. "I... think you remember, back at the College of Winterhold, when I was telling you and the others about Thedas and my history, that I told you about when I was rescuing the Queen of Ferelden, Anora, from the forces of Teryn Loghain Mac Tir."
Serana nods in confirmation. Vardall continues. "Well, what I didn't tell you was that... I rescued Anora, but in the end me and Alistair were captured by those forces of Loghain." Serana surprised herself by that new information. He continues. "We're taken to Fort Drakon, a prison almost outside the city of Denerim. Once there, me and Alistair we're..." When he remembers about that day, Vardall closes his hands into fists. Serana obviously notices that and quickly realizes what Vardall passed inside that fort.
She would tell him he didn't need to talk anymore, but he continued before she had the chance. "...we're tortured for hours. All what you can think about, they tortured us with it: whips, flame, spikes, blades..." While Vardall describes what he went though, Serana is shocked. She was already used with violence and torture, hence her father and other vampire do that praticaly all the time. But someone she cares soo much being tortured? That messes with her. "It arrived a time where I passed out because of the pain. I awake hours later on a cell together with Alistair. Still bleeding, but alive. After that, me and Alistair managed to escape and retrieve our gear. And to escape Fort Drakon... I made sure not to hide."
Serana noticed all the rage and venom Vardall had in his voice. She continued to listen "During our escape, I made sure to kill each one of those who tortured us. Rip and tear... burn them alive... I made them suffer, and I enjoyed every second of it!" He sighs, calming down a little. "Since the beginning, I was planning on letting Alistair kill Loghain, as a sort of revenge for Duncan's death at Ostagar. But after what I want though in Fort Drakon... I decided to kill that bastard myself."
"I'll do the same in your place." Serana then approaches Vardall and places her hand upon his shoulder, trying somehow to give him some comfort now. "And being honest, I don't care about your scars."
Vardall turns around and faces Serana, looking straight into her vampire eyes. "Thanks. They're reminders of a horrible thing it did to me, but... I actually like them a lot."
Serana is caught by surprise by the way Vardall is staring at her: smiling with total trust and completely vulnerable and comfortable. But what she was more surprised about was how bright his blue eyes were, looking like the sky on a spring day. That same, familiar good sensation she felt sometimes when she was close to Vardall came now even stronger, given how close they're now. Vardall was feeling the same. Whenever he was close to Serana, he could forget about all his problems and responsibilities and enjoy the moment with her. They did that many times on the road and during their camps.
Both of them asked themselves what was that, at the same time they got even more close to each other, almost looking like they're not in control of their bodies. Serana's hand still was on Vardall's shoulder, while he placed one of his hands on her arm.
At the beginning Vardall's breathing was irregular, but now Serana notices he is more calm. Becoming more bold, Vardall moves his hand from Serana's arm to her cheek, but his action suddenly makes her remember of something horrible: She on Castle Volkihar's cathedral, almost completely naked while supporting the pain of being raped to death by Molag Bal. She then feels the hand of the Daedric Prince on her cheek, forcing her to look at his monstrous face. He had a sadist smile and obviously was having fun with Serana's pain. She tried to scream, but no sound exit her mouth while Bal continued to rape her.
With the pain of that memory, Serana quickly backs off from Vardall's touch, with her widened eyes and heavy breathing. Vardall scared himself with that. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
Serana doesn't answer and only keeps watching a confused Vardall, without saying a word. The Dragonborn sighs. "Sorry, I... I should have asked." He then looks to his side, avoiding looking at Serana.
Silence reigns above them for many seconds. Seconds that look like hours. Serana calmed herself after some time and started to feel a little angry by letting her traumas control her once more. It was not the first time that happened and she already was tired from that. Also, she could see very well Vardall also was affected by that, thinking he had hurt her or something, when actually being close to him most of the time makes Serana almost forget about her past and traumas. He didn't deserve this, so as a way to compensate for that and to also help herself, she walks until Vardall, grabs the same hand and holds against her cheek again.
He quickly looked back to her, his eyes widened by her actions. He opened his mouth to talk, but it was Serana who talked first: Just... Please, be gentle." Then she releases Vardall's hand from hers and closes her eyes.
The Dragonborn still was confused, but obeyed her. He truly was gentle while holding her face, making Serana feel a level of tenderness she never felt before. But even so, she still was a bit tense, and Vardall felt that. He wanted to do something to calm her, but had no idea what to do, but he suddenly remembered something it could help. He deeply breathes then cleans his throat:
Aneth ara, Lethallin...
When Serana suddenly hears those strange words, she becomes confused and opens her eyes. Then she's welcomed by the vision of Vardall with his eyes closed and... singing? Serana was astonished while Vardall continued:
Mi da'vehn sulahn melana
Vir ar melana
Dareth se era'en
Vir ar melana
Dareth se era'en
Serana wasn't understanding a word from what Vardall was singing, but that doesn't matter, the calm and beautiful way he was uttering each one of those words made her forget about everything and focus only on Vardall. That also was a fact that surprised Serana, she had no idea Vardall could sing that beautifully. Vardall continued to sing, more slowly this time:
Aneth ara, Lethallin
Mi da'vehn sulahn melana
Vir ar melana
Dareth se era'en
Vir ar melana
Dareth se era'en...
Once he finished, Vardall opened his eyes only to see a shocked and surprised Serana. He giggles and removes his hand from her cheek. "I guess it worked..."
The vampire still was astonished, even stuttering. "What... What was that?"
Vardall smiles. "An old elven song from Thedas."
Serana blinks. "Elven?"
He nods. "Back on Thedas, whenever I was stressed, worried, sad and even angry, Leliana would usually sing something to calm me. Usually I would just lay my head on her lap and she would kept stroking my hair. It had a great variety of songs she sang to me, but the elven ones were my favorite." Even now after all what happened and doubting his love for Leliana was something real, Vardall still deeply treasures some memories. That was one of them.
"It was beautiful. I didn't know you could sing that good." Serana was truly impressed.
The Grey Warden giggles again. "Leliana taught me some of those elven songs. But I'm not the best, though." He looks back to Serana, with a more serious expression now. "What happened?"
Serana sighs. "I'm sorry. I just... The way you put your hand on my face made me remember something I didn't want to remember."
Vardall immediately felt angry for himself. "Shit! I'm sorry, Serana, it wasn't my intention. I should have asked before..."
"It's all right, Vardall." Serana suddenly places her hand on his shoulder. "The fault was all mine for never having told you about that."
He shakes his head. "It was a traumatic event that you don't like to remember. You have no fault on this."
A strange mood was now between the two of them. Serana then removes her hand from Vardall's shoulder and walks until the door. "I should probably go now and let you sleep. Good night, Vardall."
He didn't want her to leave yet, but felt it was for the best. "Good night, Serana."
Before leaving the room, Serana looks back and smiles again. "And... thank you, for everything." She then leaves the room, leaving Vardall alone again.
Serana quickly went down the stairs, now deep into her thoughts. Besides that bad memory, it was something she enjoyed a lot and now made her smile. She still had a lot to deal with when it comes to her traumas, but today she felt she got even more closer to Vardall and made the connection they share stronger. He had done more for her in weeks than any of her parents made in centuries. All of that made her smile, and part of her was excited to have more encounters like that with him.
Back in the room, Vardall couldn't hold back his smile. Besides some unpleasant things, the moment he shared with Serana was special and certainly would be something he would take with him forever. He looks back to the necklace he dropped on the floor and grabs it. That item represents a part of Vardall's life that now was far away in the past. He was a new man, with a new life now, so he takes the necklace and storages inside a drawer, together with the blue Orlasian ring and his old Grey Warden necklace. Perhaps one day he would need to face those items again, but today was not that day. Satisfied, Vardall finally lay down on his bed and covered himself with some furs, closing his eyes to a sleep he so much needed.
# # # # # #
During his sleep, Vardall still was tormented by memories and nightmares of his past actions and all the death he caused. This time, however, he already had accepted what he did, and now decided to face his past instead of ignoring or running away like he was doing until now. The past was done and he can't change that, he now can only focus on try not committing the same mistakes.
Feeling much more reinvigorated now, Vardall gets up from his bed and wears some simple clothes instead of his armor. Finally ready for the day, he exits his private quarters, goes down the stairs and proceeds to the area where Dawnguard members usually do their meals for a good breakfast. Arriving there, the entire place was crowded, especially the table, but then he suddenly hears his name being called and turns around to see all his friends reunited on one of re table's corner. The Dragonborn smiles and quickly proceeds to the table. Once he arrived there, his friends immediately noticed his new haircut and became surprised.
"You're incredible, my friend!" Inigo says. "This new haircut suits you very well."
Arissa smiles. "Agreed. You almost look like another person without that mullet."
Vardall silently appreciates all the compliments and sits down next to them. Serana was on Inigo's side and immediately smiled at Vardall the moment he sat down, a smile Vardall retrieved. "Did you sleep well?" Serana asks Vardall.
He nods. "It was not the best night of sleepI had in my life, but certainly was much better than the last ones."
The vampire smiles. "Glad to hear."
All of them remained there for a time, eating and chatting. Vardall wanted to talk with Serana about last night and had the feeling she wanted the same, but he wouldn't do that in front of everyone. He hoped he could have a more private moment with her later to properly discuss that.
After several more minutes, the moment is suddenly ended by Isran. "I need all of you to come with me." The stoic Redguard simply says to everyone, without more explanations. The group became confused, but given how important this aperented to be, they all went up and followed the Dawnguard leader.
Arriving on the central part of Fort Dawnguard, all of them spotted the Moth Priest, Dexion Evicus there, with the Elder Scroll on his hands. The priest smiles once he notices the group approaching him, especially Lucien. "Good to see you again, young Flavius."
The blonde Imperial smiles. "You too, Dexion." As soon as they finish talking, the Moth Priest notices Vardall standing right next to Lucien. "And you must be the Dragonborn. A pleasure to meet you."
Vardall nods. "The pleasure is all mine. Any friend of Lucien is a friend of mine." He turns to face Isran. "So, why did you bring us here?"
"I summoned all of you here because our priest here is finally ready to read the Scroll."
That caught everyone's attention and made them all look to the priest. Lucien was the first to talk. "Are you sure of that, Dexion?"
The priest excitedly nods. "Oh, most certainly! Let's find out what secrets the scroll can tell." Then Dexion grabs the Elder Scroll with both his hands, making everyone there very anxious. "Now, if everyone will please be quiet, I must concentrate." They all paid extreme attention to all what Dexion said the moment he opened the Scroll and his face was taken by a bright light.
"I see a vision before me, an image of a great bow. I know this weapon! It is Auriel's Bow!" With the corner of his eye, Vardall noticed how much his words about Auriel's Bow intrigued Lucien. Dexion continued to talk: "Now a voice whispers, saying 'Among the night's children, a dread lord will rise.' In an age of strife, when dragons return to the realm of men, darkness will mingle with light and the night and day will be as one."
Dexion stops talking for a few seconds before continuing. "The voice fades and the words begin to shimmer and distort. But wait, there is more here. The secret of the bow's power is written elsewhere. I think there is more to the prophecy, recorded in other scrolls. Yes, I see them now... One contains the ancient secrets of the dragons, and the other speaks of the prophecy of ancient blood." As soon as Dexion told about a scroll speaking of the prophecy of ancient blood, Vardall noticed that Serana's expression and body language changed a little. Possibly she knew something they didn't.
Dexion keeps reading the scroll for some more seconds, but nothing more happens. "My vision darkens, and I see no more." He says while he closes the scroll. "To know the complete prophecy, we must have the other two scrolls." Dexion surely seemed now to be physically tired. He even closes his eyes and passes his hand though his face.
Isran approaches the priest and gently grabs his arm. "Come on, old man. You should get some rest." He then guides Dexion upstairs to the private rooms they gave him, leaving Vardall and the others alone.
The Dragonborn crosses his arms and shakes his head. "Why can things never be easy?" He thinks for a moment. "If it is about Elder Scrolls, I think we could return to the College of Winterhold, they may know something."
Everyone seemed to approve of the idea. "If there's any place in Skyrim where we can find leads about two Elder Scrolls, it will be there." Lucien agrees.
Serana, who has been quiet until now, finally talks. "I think I know where we can find one of the scrolls."
With those words, Serana earns everyone's attention. "Where?" Vardall asked.
Serana sighs. "We need to find my mother, Valerica. She'll definitely know where it is, and if we're lucky, she actually has it herself."
"Okay, so where's your mother?" Arissa asks, while Serana shrugs. "That's the problem, I don't know. The last time we saw each other was when she locked me on Dimhollow Crypt, but I remember clearly asking her that day where she would go. She said that she'd go somewhere safe... somewhere that my father would never search. Other than that, she wouldn't tell me anything. But the way she said it... 'someplace he would never search.' It was cryptic, yet she called attention to it."
Lucien crosses his arms. "She didn't tell you? Pardon me for what I'm gonna say, but it looks like your mother didn't trust you, either."
She looks to the Imperial scholar. "That's always a possibility. She was almost as obsessed as my father by the time she shut me in. But I can't worry about that now. We need the scroll, and she's our only lead. Besides, I can't imagine a single place my father would avoid looking. And he's had all this time, too." She looks to Vardall now "Any ideas?"
The Dragonborn thinks for a moment, until an idea crosses his mind. "This will sound crazy, but... inside Castle Volkihar?"
Serana put her hand on her chin for a moment and suddenly her eyes widened. "Wait... that almost makes sense! I used to help my mother tend a garden in the courtyard there. All of the ingredients for our potions came from there. She used to say that my father couldn't stand that place. Too... peaceful for someone like him."
"Isn't it risky for your mother to remain in the castle?" Inigo asks.
Serana nods. "Oh, absolutely. But my mother's not a coward. That is... I don't think we'll actually trip over her there. But it's worth a look."
Vardall raises his eyebrows. "Your father isn't exactly letting us use the front door. Any way we can stealthily reach the garden?"
Serana smiles. "Trust me, I know every corner of that castle. There's an unused inlet on the northern side of the island that was used by the previous owners to bring supplies into the place. An old escape tunnel from the castle exits there. That's our way in."
Vardall agrees. "Sounds like a plan." He turns to the rest of the group. "However, we can't forget about the other scroll. Not to mention a large group will certainly call unnecessary attention."
His words caught everyone's attention. "What's on your mind?" Nerevar asks.
"We split up." Vardall affirms. "You, Lucien and Arissa return to Winterhold to search for any clue about the second scroll. Meanwhile Serana, Bran, Inigo and I will go to Castle Volkihar and search for Serana's mother."
Arissa smiles. "Sounds like a good plan."
While they're planning more, the doors of Fort Dawnguard are open and a familiar person enters the place. "Whatever you guys are planing, got room for one more?"
Vardall immediately recognized the voice, but almost didn't believe it. Smiling, he turns his head to the side to see an old friend standing there. "Lydia?!"
Vardall's old Housecarl tried to keep a more serious expression, but seeing her Thane and her friends again also made her smile. "Vardall."
Not just Vardall, but the entire group quickly moves until Lydia. Honestly, Vardall almost hugged her, but restrained himself. "It's so good to see you again!"
"Same here." Only now she notices Vardal's hair. "New haircut, Vardall? It suits you." After Vardall, Lydia greeds each one of her friends, all of them more than happy to see her again.
"What are you doing here?" Only now, Vardall remembers about their last discussion on the College of Winterhold. The smile on his face disappears. "So... Have you already thought about what we talked about?"
Lydia sighs. "Yes, I did." Then she looks right inside Vardall's eyes. "Listen, what I said was true, I couldn't accept what you did - all the death you caused - but after thinking clearly for many days, I decided to give you another chance."
She blinks. "You're my Thane, but more importantly, you're my friend. I'll not forget that I can't accept what you told me, but I'll also not break the bond we share only because of that. Not to mention what you told me, that you're trying to compensate for all the blood you shed. And it looks like you're telling the truth."
She sighs again. "What I'm trying to say is... I'll keep my duty as a Housecarl and protect you with my life. If you want me back, of course."
Vardall smiles. "Was there any doubt? Of course I want you back, Lydia. All of us want."
Lydia smiles and she and Vardall shake each other's hand. "Now let us explain what happens while you're away."
The entire group took some minutes to tell Lydia about all the recent events, especially about Vardall becoming Azura's new champion and receiving Azura's Star. She was caught by surprise by that fact.
Finally, they explained their recent plan, and decided that Lydia would follow Nerevar, Arissa and Lucien back to Winterhold. As soon as everything was set, everyone prepared themselves. Vardall returned to his quarters and equipped his Grey Warden armor and his greatsword, the Black Star. Now outside the fort, the two teams wished luck to each other and then proceeded to their objectives. It was going to be quite a journey for everyone.
# # # # # #
"Why can't the dead stay dead?!" Inigo yelled while attacking and destroyed an armored skeleton while he and the others were infiltrating Castle Volkihar. Bran distracts the other two skeletons, giving the chance for Vardall and Serana to return them to their eternal rest. After dealing with the dangers, the group uses a door and uses the old tunnel, finally reaching the castle's undercroft.
The first thing Vardall noticed as soon as he entered the place was the horrible smell it had there, being a mixture of mold, blood and rotten flesh. It was even worse to Bran and Inigo, given their keener sense of smell. Surprisingly, Serana didn't seem to care about the horrible smell, even with her keenest senses.
Vardall quickly covers his nose with his hand. "I think not even the Deep Roads were as unbearable and stinky as here..." He looks at Serana. "How are you even supporting this?"
She shrugs. "After spending quite some time here, I got used to it."
Vardall raises an eyebrow, even forgetting about the smell for a moment. "What do you mean?"
The vampire looks at the Dragonborn. "During my childhood, I spended lots of time down here, exploring. It was the best I could do, given that I didn't leave the island very often." She crosses her arms. "This place also served as my... little hideout, when my parents were arguing with each other or I just wanted some peace and quiet. It is also near the sea, so I could always go there. Even as a vampire, I did enjoy the breeze and fresh air."
"I know the feeling very well." Vardall affirms. "Back at the Circle tower, I used to spend hours exploring the tower's basement and some caves the Circle used to store items. Given that I could not leave the tower, it was the best I could do." The Grey Warden sighs. "It was the only place where I could get some privacy away from Templars, not to mention I always prefered to be alone."
Serana raises an eyebrow. "What about your friends?"
Vardall looks at her. "It's true I had a friend on Jowan, but after some time, it looked like he started to treat me just like the others, which I found to be true afterwards. I guess being the favorite student of the First Enchanter, my talent and my personality only made people avoid me."
"Sorry to hear that." Serana says, then smiles. "But now you're not alone. You have me and the others together with you."
Inigo looks at both and smiles. "She's right, my friend."
Now was Vardall's time to smile. "I know that." Then he cracks his neck. "But I like to think that was for the best. I learned all that I could using all the free time and solitude I had. I didn't became the Circle's best apprentice by nothing." The group kept moving towards, dealing with many undead creatures, such as skeletons, some death hounds and gargoyles. During that time, Vardall always kept a watchful eye over Inigo. Azura's words still were in his mind and the main reason he called the blue Khajiit to come with him was to pay attention to him and make sure everything was okay. After crossing some old ruins, they we're finally at Serana's mother's old courtyard.
"We've made it to the courtyard." Serana stops talking when she sees the state the entire place was in. A place that centuries ago was beautiful and full of life now was in a complete decay and, well... dead state, with a totally gray appearance. She raises her eyebrows and slightly opens her mouth. "Oh no... What happened to this place? Everything's been torn down..."
Vardall analyzes his surroundings. "It's still a lot nicer compared to other places I've been." That garden was a paradise compared to the Deep Roads. That place still gives Vardall chills. He then crouches and passes his hand towards the ground, taking lots of dirt on it. "It looks like no one has set foot here in centuries. Well... no one before us, I guess."
Serana crosses her arms. "If I had to guess, I'd say the moment my mother fled the castle, my father went on a rampage. Knowing him, anything at all that reminded him of her was just destroyed."
Vardall looks to her. "Probably it was that. He was betrayed by someone that, at least at one moment of his life, he trusted and loved. It is totally understandable his rage, even your father being a lunatic and maniac." Vardall comments, having some experience in that department. He looks at Serana. "No offsense."
"It's okay." Even though she knew each one of those words were true, that her father was a maniac and lunatic, part of Serana still felt uncomfortable hearing that. By all means, Harkon still was her father.
While the Dragonborn and the vampire we're talking, Inigo and Bran were also looking around the decrepit courtyard. While doing that, Inigo soon notices a giant door blocked by lots of rubble.
"This used to lead into the castle's great hall." Serana comments once she notices Inigo steering at the door."It looks like my father had it sealed up." She continues to look around. "I used to walk through here after evening meals. It was beautiful, once."
Vardall gets up, while saying: "I bet it was."
"This was my mother's garden. It..." Serana sighs. "Do you know how beautiful something can be when it's tended by a master for hundreds of years?"
Vardall shakes his head. "No, but... I could have some ideas." He then finally turns his full attention to the giant moondial behind all of them. "What's the story behind this moondial?"
"Well, as far as I'm aware it's the only one in existence." Serana says. "The previous owners of the castle had a sundial in the courtyard, and obviously that didn't appeal to my mother. She persuaded an elven artisan to make some improvements."
Inigo approaches them and also analyzes the moondial. "Yes, I can see the plates that show the phases of the moons, Masser and Secunda." After a few more seconds, Inigo notices something strange. "But wait, some of the crests are missing and the dial is askew."
Serana widened. "What? I didn't even know the crests could be removed." She then thinks for some moments, something crossing her mind. "Maybe my mother's trying to tell us something?"
Vardall nods. "Being honest, probably." Looking around, the Dragonborn quickly spots one of the crests lying next to a wall. "There's only one way to know." He quickly moves and takes the crest, returning to his friends afterwards.
"Inigo, could you help me?" Vardall questions. "I know this very well is totally racist, but since you're Khajiit, I think you could tell me which phase of the moon this one is." Vardall comments while showing the crest to Inigo.
The blue Khajiit giggles, knowing that was just a joke mixed with a true requisition of aid and help. "No problem, my friend. Here, let me help you." Inigo takes the crest on his hands and places it on it's correct place.
"We need to look around." Serana says. "Perhaps the other crests are also here."
It wasn't even necessary to say that. The group then searches in each corner of the garden, finding all the missing crests without much effort. Inigo then places all of them correctly on their order. Once he finishes that, the moondial starts to strangely move, almost scaring everyone, after a few seconds, the ground at the moondial's side starts to go down, revealing stairs and a secret door.
Serana crosses her arms. "Very clever, mother. Very clever. I've never been in those tunnels before, but I'd bet they run right under the courtyard and into the tower ruins."
"Well, at least we're getting closer." Vardall says. Let's go, shall we?" Serana and Inigo nods, while Bran barks.
"Right behind you." Serana says. Vardall nods and then goes down the stairs and enters the door, being close followed by his friends. He only hopes Serana's mother really can lead them to the Elder Scroll, or even have the scroll. But since when was he and his friends that lucky?
The song Vardall sings to Serana is from Dragon Age II OST and the second music that plays during the game's credits. Is called "Rogue Heart", that I highly recommend all of you to hear, it's really, really good. And needless to say, that's what inspired the name of this chapter.