Yeah... This Tale is the sole reason why I've changed this FanFic's rating to M!
Civil War
Written by BNSF1995 and Broa Island
Proofread and Corrected by Broa Island
Based on "Trouble in the Shed" by the Reverend W. Awdry, and "Joker" by Todd Phillips and Scott Silver
Isle of Sodor: 1934
The Fat Director sat in his office listening to the noise outside. Henry was supposed to have left Knapford Station with a passenger train ten minutes ago, but no train nor engine had shown up, let alone left.
An angry mob of stranded passengers crowded around the station office, shouting things like "WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!" or "THIS IS A BAD RAILWAY!" or "KILL THE FAT MAN!" or "I CAN'T FIND THE BATHROOM!"
The stationmaster pushed his way through the crowd and quickly ran into the Fat Director's office, shutting the door and barricading it with a coffee table immediately afterwards.
"Mr. Filoni!" cried the Fat Director, he was quite concerned. "Mr. Filoni, are you alright?"
"There's trouble in the shed, sir!" said the stationmaster. "I've just been on the telephone with Owen, Henry's refusing to start his fire and keeps putting it out when Owen and Grant try to light it manually! Gordon and James are also sulking, and all three are refusing to leave the shed!"
"Oh really, we cannot allow that!" The Fat Director stood up from his desk, grabbed his top hat off the coat rack, and stormed out the door. He pushed his way through the angry crowd, took a guard's whistle, climbed onto a luggage trolley and blew the whistle long and loud!
"SILENCE!" boomed the Fat Director!
The station went quiet.
"Thank you," said the Fat Director once he had everyone's attention. "Now. Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for our lack in trains! In the meantime, replacement bus services will be arranged for anyone wishing to travel to Elsbridge, Wellsworth, and Vicarstown, where our guaranteed connections to Ffarquhar, Brendam, and Barrow should be unaffected. I apologize for any inconvenience we might have caused you today, but I will be dealing with this matter immediately! Any questions?!"
"I STILL CAN'T FIND THE BATHROOM!"
The Fat Director looked around, and indeed, didn't see any signage pointing to a bathroom.
"These budget cuts are getting out of hand…" he noted.
The Fat Director found Gordon, James, and Henry sulking in Tidmouth Sheds, the three big engines ignoring the angry shouts from their crews. "Come along now, Henry," he said as he approached the sheds, "it's time your train was-"
"Henry's not going!" interrupted Gordon! "We won't shunt like common tank engines! That was Colin's job!"
The Fat Director sighed; he knew exactly what was going on here.
The three big engines were on strike.
"We understand that this lack in motive power isn't your fault, sir," Gordon continued, "but we are important tender engines, and we won't be demoted to menial work!"
"Yeah!" put in James. "You fetch our coaches, and we will pull them, simple as that. And furthermore…"
"TENDER ENGINES DON'T SHUNT!" the three finished in unison.
"Oh indeed," said the Fat Director, "we'll see about that! As long as I'm director, engines on this railway will do as they are told! And no engine is too important for small jobs!" And with that, he climbed back into his car and drove away. Despite everything he had just said, the Fat Director knew he had to meet the engines' demands, Knapford needed a station pilot.
And he knew just the right engine for the job…
At Wellsworth, the Fat Director found Edward shunting in the station yard. "Leave those trucks please, Edward," he said, "I'm drafting you as the station pilot for Knapford for the time being," and he explained the situation to the blue engine.
"Thank you, sir," said Edward, "that will be a nice change. But… who will look after my branch line?"
"The goods traffic on the Brendam Branch has decreased substantially ever since the docks were closed for renovations. Eagle should manage both passenger and goods work alone," the Fat Director explained. "No off you go then."
Edward was pleased, he knew the branch line would be in safe buffers with Eagle. With that, he collected a brake van and set out down the western main line.
Soon, Edward arrived at Knapford Station and got to work. The Fat Director telephoned the signal box at Tidmouth Sheds, and the signalman passed on his message that the big engine's demands had been met to them. Gordon, Henry, and James were most pleased and immediately rushed out of the sheds to start work. For the rest of the day, the trains ran as usual.
However, I'm sorry to say that Edward's presence wouldn't solve the problem as the Fat Director had hoped. It would eventually make it worse!
You see, Gordon, Henry and James were the only tender engines on Sodor that had a problem with shunting. Edward, Ruby, Yang, and the other Red Engines – Eagle, Michael, Ringo, George, Johnny, Britt, Richard, Alec, and Brandon – didn't mind the extra work. Unfortunately, in their short-sighted minds, the phrase 'tender engines don't shunt' didn't just apply to Gordon, Henry, and James, it applied to every tender engine on the railway.
Every time when they saw a tender engine shunting in the yard, Gordon, Henry, and James would shoot them death glares, calling them names like "Scab!" or "Knobstick!" But they all just ignored the big engines… for now at least.
The morning after Edward arrived, Gordon made the mistake of calling him one of these names in front of the Fat Director. But before he could say anything to the big blue engine, Gordon had already departed with the express, hissing steam loudly in Edward's face!
"Bless me," said the Fat Director, "what a noise! Are you alright Edward?"
"I'm fine sir, thank you," answered Edward, who looked more annoyed than sad. "They've been like this ever since I arrived. They say, 'tender engines don't shunt' and have been tormenting me, Ruby, Yang, and the Red Engines every time they see us doing just that! But I don't need your sympathy, sir. I'm sure you've got much more important issues to worry about."
"Indeed Edward. But this is an important issue in my opinion! Let me make it known that I am very proud of you, Edward. But all the same… We do need another tank engine here." And with that the Fat Director walked into his office.
The next day, he left for the mainland, hoping to return with a new engine in hand.
It would've been better if the Fat Director had remained on Sodor though…
It was about a week into Gordon, Henry, and James' strike and after the Fat Director had left when it happened. Late one afternoon, Ruby arrived at Maron Station with the daily Knapford-Killdane pickup goods, stopping at all stations in between to pick up and set down trucks, especially at junctions with branch lines and secondary lines. At Maron, some privately-owned tar wagons belonging to B. Rother Tar Distillers were waiting to be picked up for road construction at Vicarstown, as were trucks full of grain and flour from along the Main Line Loop. As well as picking up some more trucks, she needed to drop some off, and that meant she had to do some shunting. Earlier that day, she had run-ins with Henry and Gordon, the two engines bullying her while she was shunting her trucks. She hoped that her most recent encounter with Gordon would be the last for today.
She was wrong.
As she was making a complex move, she suddenly felt a massive shove from the back. As she was on a facing-point siding, she went straight into the buffers, and SMASHED through them, rolling down a hill onto the road.
Dazed and confused, Ruby looked up to the bridge over the road to see James glaring down at her.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" screamed Ruby.
"I've got a joke for you:" replied James calmly, "What do you get...when you cross an important red engine, with a CONTROLLER, that ABANDONS HIM AND TREATS HIM LIKE TRASH?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU GET! YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE, YOU ****!"
All at once, there was a deafening silence. No one could believe James had gone so far as to use that word. Against RUBY, of all engines. Ruby, who was everyone's friend. Ruby, who's optimism was infectious. Ruby, who was a ray of sunshine in everyone's day. And James had just used the worst word in the Oxford Dictionary you could call a woman, much less, again, RUBY.
But James had a smug look of satisfaction on his face. In his mind, he had taught Ruby a lesson. He smiled even more when Ruby started crying. He returned to Knapford, satisfied.
Upon arriving, he found his next suburban service to Barrow wasn't ready, and Thomas was at platform three with Annie and Clarabel.
"Oi, Thomas!" he barked, "Go fetch my coaches!" Thomas looked at James incredulously.
"Excuse you? On what authority do YOU order me about?"
"The fact that I'm a tender engine. And you? You're a tank engine. Tank engines are subservient to us tender engines, for we're too important to be shunting our trains. So, hop to it, peasant."
Thomas' guard blew his whistle all of a sudden. "I don't have to sit here listening to you become Freud's next case, James! I've got a timetable to keep!"
This infuriated James! "Nobody defies me!" He raced ahead to the crossover at the junction and rammed Thomas off the rails! Annie and Clarabel stayed on, as did the empty trucks bound for Anopha Quarry, but Thomas lay on his side amongst the ruins of the Knapford signal box, his driver and fireman too injured to get up. Thankfully, the signalman was in the station café getting his dinner when this all unfolded.
"JAMES!" screamed Thomas, "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"This is the price you pay for disobedience!" James snapped back.
"You're not the boss of me, the Fat Director is!"
"But he's not here, is he?"
At once, the breakdown gang arrived at the scene and began lifting Thomas onto a flatbed pulled by Britt, who glared daggers at James. But James didn't care about his sister's opinion. He was now mad with power. So were Gordon and Henry, who were involved in similar incidents with Alec and Johnny, though compared to what James did, they were minor derailments.
Gordon, Henry, and James were sitting in Knapford Harbor that evening, gloating about their victory over the 'traitors'.
"That Alec won't be shunting anytime soon!" boasted Gordon.
"Johnny will soon see sense and join our little strike." smirked Henry.
"Ruby was crying like a baby after what I did!" laughed James.
"What exactly did you do, James?" asked Henry.
"Oh, you know, threw her off the tracks and called her a ****. Because that's what she deserves."
Gordon and Henry looked like their eyes were about to pop out of their sockets! "JAMES!" thundered Gordon, "YOU DID NOT SAY THAT!"
"Not only that," put in Henry, "you said it to RUBY of all engines! What happened to 'don't physically bully Ruby, Yang, Britt, or Kate?!' What did she ever do to deserve such treatment?"
"Well, uh…" James spluttered. He now realized he hadn't thought this whole thing through. Gordon was about to speak again, when he heard a loud cry.
"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
They all recognized that voice. Before they could react, James was knocked back into the buffers, but didn't go through them and stayed on the rails!
There was Yang, her face redder than James' paint, snarling like a mad dog. She knew who was to blame for what happened to Ruby, who was now sitting at Crovan's Gate Works inconsolable by anyone except Yang.
What she said is so unspeakably profane, not only can I not repeat it here, it wouldn't have passed muster with Egmont if Awdry repeated the whole thing verbatim in "Troublesome Engines", and it's also one of the reasons Ruby and especially Yang have never appeared in ANY Thomas-related media to date (aside from not wanting to be hounded by rabid fans). Whatever was said, it left Gordon, Henry, and James looking like they had just seen the Führer himself!
While the North Western Railway was descending into civil war, the Fat Director was visiting a workshop on the mainland. In truth, it wasn't really a workshop than it was a 'used-engine dealership', where non-faceless engines had voluntarily put themselves on the market seeking a new owner.
"I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for here, sir." said Mr. Tiernan, the owner of the workshop. "Some of these engines have been here since the Grouping in '23."
The Fat Director looked over each engine with great intent. Among the engines were an LBSCR H2 (a production version, that is, as Yang was a prototype), a Highland Railway Jones Goods, a GER Class G58, and an NER Class P3.
"These are all well and good," said the Fat Director, "But what I need is a shunter for station pilot duties."
"Let me guess: tender engines thinking they're too important to shunt?" asked Mr. Tiernan.
"How did you…?"
"I've seen this before, sir. Luckily the Big Four have been in a rush to cast off shunters with this damn depression."
Mr. Tiernan led the Fat Director to a part of the workshop full of tank engines of all shapes and sizes. From a tiny vertical-boiler engine to a large GWR tank engine, they all looked at the Fat Controller, hoping they would buy them.
"Now let's see…" pondered the Fat Director, "I need a tank engine that's not too big, but not too small." He looked and looked. Some were attractive, but ultimately too big. Others were too small. At last, he happened upon exactly what he was looking for.
There, sitting between two Midland Railway tank engines, was a small 0-4-0ST with the unmistakable lettering of the Great Western Railway on his saddle tanks. On his cab was the number 1340, and below the GWR letters was a nameplate that read 'Trojan'.
"What is your name?" asked the Fat Director.
"Percy, sir," replied 1340, "despite what the nameplate says."
"Oh, don't worry," chuckled the Fat Director. "I have a tank engine named Kate who has nameplates that say Lady. Tell me, why are you here?"
"This blasted depression." replied Percy, "When I was first built, I worked for Messrs Dunn & Shute of Newport Town Dock. It was challenging work, but once I got into it, I tended to finish early and have a rest. In 1903 I was purchased by the Alexandra Docks Railway, which was gobbled up by the Great Western at the Grouping in '23. A couple of years ago, I was to be sold to the Netherseal colliery in Burton-on-Trent, but it went bust, and the shedmaster didn't know what to do with me. So I volunteered to be sent here in the hopes of finding a new owner."
The Fat Director smiled. "You just found him, just as I've found my number six."
Percy's eyes lit up. "You mean…?"
"If I choose you, will you work hard?"
"Oh, sir! Yes, sir!"
"Excellent! Mr. Tiernan, I'll take him and those two Southern Railway multiple units!"
Upon being mentioned, the two multiple units, Hal and Gilbert, perked up. "Told ya." said Hal.
Percy fired himself up, and with the Fat Director on the footplate, he towed Hal and Gilbert dead all the way to Sodor. He had to stop for coal and water often, though, which gave the Fat Director some ideas as to modifications to be made at the Steamworks.
Two days later, Percy crossed the Vicarstown Bridge and pulled into Vicarstown station. "Leave Hal and Gilbert in the siding, Percy," said the Fat Director, "The Peel Godred Branch won't be finished for another year or so."
Hal and Gilbert's faces fell. "More sitting around getting fat, I suppose." moaned Gilbert.
"You know, you're a real downer sometimes." snarked Hal.
"Cheer up, you two," said the Fat Director, "I'll put you both in service as coaches until the line opens."
Gilbert lightened up a bit. "I may not be under me own power, but at least I'll be useful."
"I concur," agreed Hal.
After dropping the two multiple units in a siding, Percy made his way to Crovan's Gate. Along the way, he passed George and Ringo double heading a train from the Ironworks at Killdane, who whistled a friendly "Hello."
But when he got to the works, any illusion of a happy railway was shattered. Rolling in, Percy saw an LBSCR E2 and an L&YR Class 2, both of them with serious damage. The Fat Director was shocked at this sight, and stepped down from Percy's cab. "What happened?!" he asked frantically.
"Sir!" cried Thomas, "Thank god you're back! The strike, it...well, it's turned into all-out civil war! James t-boned me at the junction and nearly killed my crew just because I wouldn't acquiesce to his demands that I shunt his coaches, and earlier, he shoved Ruby off the tracks while she was shunting at Maron. But that's not all. He also said something... unspeakable."
Thomas whispered the word to the Fat Director, whose pupils dilated as his jaw dropped. "JESUS HORATIO CHRIST!" His shock turned to anger, as he devolved into angrish.
When he got all that out of his system, he turned to Thomas and Ruby. "I am SO sorry this had to happen to you two. I see now that leaving the island was a terrible mistake. I shall see to those three at once. But before I do, Thomas, Ruby, I'd like you to meet North Western Railway Number 6: Percy."
"A pleasure." said Percy politely.
"Is he…?" began Thomas.
"Yes, Thomas," replied the Fat Director, "He is indeed the new Knapford station pilot. I've also acquired a pair of Southern Railway SL multiple units for the new branch line to Peel Godred."
Before he left, the Fat Director gave the workmen their instructions: he wanted Percy painted the same colors as Henry, with the number 6 replacing 1340. Furthermore, he wanted the 'Trojan' nameplates removed and preserved for posterity, and to have a pre-fabricated coal bunker meant for Wallace welded onto Percy. For this task, Percy didn't need any Green Water, and watched as his old GWR colors were scraped off and replaced with NWR Green with Red Lining, his number and nameplates removed, and a yellow 6 painted on his cab. Finally, his new bunker was welded on, and at last, Percy was ready for work.
All the while, Percy shot the breeze with Thomas, and even managed to get Ruby to open up a little. For the first time in days, Ruby managed to crack a small smile. That evening, Yang came to check on Ruby, and met Percy, finding him to be a nice sort. For you see, Percy isn't a cheeky engine, but a gentleman; Awdry made him cheeky so he'd be more interesting, and then HiT Entertainment made him a brain-dead moron.
The next day, the Fat Director returned to the works to see the results of Percy's modifications. "A fine job." he said at last, "Is he ready for work?"
"Ready?" laughed the foreman, "They maintained him so well in that workshop, you'd have thought he just had his Awakening!"
With his fire roaring, Percy was introduced to his new driver and fireman, and, with the Fat Director on the footplate, they went to Knapford, where they found Edward shunting Johnny's next train.
"Edward!" called the Fat Director, "Here's Percy, the new station pilot! Will you show him everything?" Edward was only too happy to oblige, and they had a happy afternoon.
Edward showed Percy all around the yard and the harbor, and also showed him Tidmouth and its yard and harbor, plus Tidmouth Sheds, where Gordon, Henry, and James were sitting, continuing their strike. They had no idea the Fat Director was back on the island!
"Hey fellas, look!" said Gordon.
"Is that what I think it is?" asked Henry.
"Huzzah!" cheered James. "Our demands have been met!"
Henry rolled forward out of the sheds towards Percy and Edward. "On behalf of all of us on the North Western Railway, I-" He was cut off when Percy let off a huge cloud of steam in his face!
"I'm gonna stop you right there." Percy said, darkly. Henry was taken aback. "You think you can just butter me up and groom me for servitude," Percy continued. "I've seen it happen at Newport; non-faceless shunters brainwashed into thinking they are somehow useless for anything except shunting trains for the bigger engines who think they're the best thing to grace England's railways since the Westinghouse air brake. Let me tell you something right now: you are not important. NONE OF US are more important than the other. I understand you may not be suitable for shunting work, but that gives you NO RIGHT to try and force your views on other tender engines who ARE willing to put in the extra work to keep this railway running. I am NOT at your beck and call. I answer to Sir Topham Hatt, not you. And if you EVER forget that...there will be hell to pay. And tell that red thing he can shove a conflat up his arse for what he did and said to Ruby."
Henry stared at Percy, a look of utter fear on his face. He backed into the shed without a word. Gordon and James had heard everything, and they too were speechless.
Edward broke the silence. "Never thought I'd see the day where a tank engine would humble those three. I must say, that was cathartic." Percy backed away to the water tower, without a word. His work here was done. The big engines thought that would be the end of it.
How wrong they were.
That night, the Fat Director came to Tidmouth Sheds, having sent Yang to spend the night at the Steamworks with Ruby and Thomas and the Red Engines and Kate to other sheds around the railway; he didn't want them to see what he was about to do lest they come to fear him. He tore into the three, especially James, but exactly what he said is still unknown. Whatever the case, though, there's a reason this part was never in the books.
The next day, Thomas and Ruby were out of the works. By now, Ruby could form coherent sentences again, and her sadness had been replaced by a new feeling: undying hatred for Gordon, Henry, and especially James. Wanting to keep them away from the three for as long as possible lest they do something rash, the Fat Director reassigned Ruby and Yang to the engine shed at the old TK&E Knapford station. Yang remembered this shed well, for it was here she, Preston, Wallace, and Victor were allocated while Kate and Glynn slept at Elsbridge (the old Elsbridge engine shed had since been demolished once Tidmouth Sheds was built). This allocation was eventually made permanent once the NWR began acquiring more locomotives.
That morning, Thomas arrived at the coach yard next to Knapford station and the old tramway, where Percy and Edward were already waiting. "Any idea what this meeting's about?" he asked.
"No clue," replied Percy, "but I suspect it has something to do with what happened at Tidmouth Sheds last night."
"What did happen?" asked Thomas.
"I don't think we wanna know, lads." Edward said.
Finally, the Fat Director showed up. "Thank you for coming on such short notice, Thomas."
"Oh, it's no trouble, sir. Annie and Clarabel are in good hands with Kate."
"Right, then." The Fat Director took in a deep breath before continuing.
"As you know," he said, "Gordon, Henry, and James have been sulking. They say they won't shunt like 'common tank engines'. Not only that, they were involved in workplace violence, the worst being James shoving Ruby down a hill at Maron. She could've crashed into the pie shop at the bottom, a pie shop that, I won't lie, makes the best damn coconut custard pies on Sodor. Not only that, he called Ruby the worst thing you can call a woman in the dictionary, and later he t-boned Thomas, sending him on his side and seriously injuring his crew, as well as injuring some of the passengers. Fortunately, Thomas' crew will live, and the passengers agreed not to sue, but I heard replacement bus services had to be arranged for the Ffarquhar Branch Line and delays were experienced due to all trains having to use the Down line. Gordon and Henry were involved in similar incidents of workplace violence with Alec and Johnny, respectively, but these were comparatively minor. The worst thing, though, is that they did it while I was off the island. I should've done something before leaving, and for that, I cannot apologize enough for the atrocities committed while I was gone. I can now say that action has been taken. Gordon, Henry, and James have all been charged with assault and battery, and have been shunted for the full 30-days. Because of crowding at Rail Gate, they'll be serving this sentence via local confinement. In other words, they've been, ahem, shut up in their shed. I thought about sending them away altogether, but that seemed a bit too cruel given the current economic climate. Until their sentence is up, we'll be dealing with fewer trains, so I need the three of you to help."
And so it was arranged. Thomas and Edward were assigned to mainline passenger services, pulling the stopper and limited-stop services. Percy was assigned to fill in for Thomas on the Ffarquhar Branch Line; Thomas was apprehensive at first, but when he saw how well Percy was doing when they met at Elsbridge while Thomas was pulling the Round Robin, he knew the branch was in good hands.
Ruby and Yang handled the express like they had alongside Emily and Adam before Gordon arrived, and found it was like picking up where they left off. Kate and the Red Engines did the goods work, as it had just become autumn, and the farmers were reporting the most bountiful harvest they had had since 1909; as a result, they couldn't be spared for passenger work.
Last but not least, Glynn stayed on the tramway from Bluff's Cove to Ulfstead, as it was an important link in moving the crops. There were fewer trains, but the passengers didn't mind. They knew that three engines were learning a lesson.
Gordon, James, and Henry were cold, lonely, and miserable. They wished now they hadn't been so foolish...
*Cue happy up-beat Thomas end-credits music!*