[]
"He'll send uz awa' for shair, Donal."
"I'm thinkin' ye're richt there, Douggie. The luck's aye been agin uz. An engine disna ken what tae dae for the best."
Isle of Sodor: November 1959
One autumn's night when the cold wind blew, the engines of Tidmouth Sheds found it hard to sleep. Donald and Douglas had yet to return from taking their late-night goods train to Barrow. Of course, the Scottish Twins had opted to sleep in the carriage shed at Knapford that night, but none of the engines were aware of this.
"Where're the twins?" Duck asked concerned.
"Probably off causing more trouble," scoffed Henry unsympathetically.
"Rubbish, Henry," sneered James, glaring coldly at the big green engine. Out of the three big engines, he seemed to be the only one on Donald and Douglas' side, while Gordon and Henry still regarded the Scots with great suspicion.
Gordon spoke up, coming to Henry's defence. "Well, he has a point-"
"GUYS! GUYS!" a high-pitched voice interrupted.
"Shush, Ruby, it's late!" growled Gordon. The Yorkshirer skidded to a stop on the turntable looking frantic.
"I think Donald and Douglas might be in trouble!" cried Ruby. Duck and James' faces instantly lit up with worry and interest, while Gordon and Henry just rolled their eyes.
"Why am I not surprised?"
"Shut up, Henry!" barked James.
Duck spoke next to cancel out Henry's response. "What… kind of trouble?"
Ruby took a deep breath to calm herself, her running board lifting from her chassis ever so slightly as she did so. "I… I think they're worried about being sent back to Scotland. I overheard them-"
"AND THEY SHOULD BE!" cut in Henry loudly.
At this point, James had had enough. "What's your problem Henry?!" he yelled.
"I don't like engines sneaking onto this railway," the Black Five explained. "You said it yourself when the Twins first arrived!"
"Maybe I did! But after talking to Douglas after our…" James coughed loudly, "'accident', my perspective has been shifted. Diesels were taking their work, and their home! If they didn't sneak here, THEY'D BE DEAD!"
The sheds went quiet. The engines were all used to James' outbursts, as he'd had them several times before, but they'd been nothing like this one.
"Well, umm… So…" Duck tried to break the awkward silence, failing miserably in the process.
James, however, heard Duck's faults, and the red engine's face fell. "There's no reason to stay silent anymore," he said solemnly. "Those mainland monsters will slaughter any steamie that comes in sight! A non-faceless steam engine's rights don't mean shit past Barrow!"
"I wished you'd phrased that better," muttered Duck.
"Well, Duck, I wish I never had to say that."
"James…" said Gordon slowly, "does have a point…"
"Yeah…" sighed Ruby softly. So softly in fact that one might mistake it for a quiet sigh.
Henry was still indignant, however. "There's no reason why the Fat Controller has allowed them to stay on the island for this long!" he said. "After they were rude to me and Gordon, rude to Molly and Yang, rude to you, James! All that plus all the problems they've caused! And it's expensive to keep all these engines about."
"It was expensive to keep you," retorted James, "and we did, because Sir Topham Hatt never gave up on you! What would he say if he saw you refusing to give others what HE gave YOU?!"
"Pah!" scoffed Henry. James, seeing no point in dragging this on longer then it was already, decided to call it a night.
"Good night, Henry," remarked the red engine grimly.
"Good!" Henry said firmly. "I've got to take an early train anyway!" And with that, the green engine backed into his shed row without another word.
Ruby, unsure of her own feelings, took this opportunity to make her leave. She slowly backed off the turntable to begin the trek back to the sheds at Knapford Harbor. Perhaps Yang might have an answer to this conundrum they were in.
As she backed away from Tidmouth, Ruby failed to notice a small flake of snow fall from the dark sky and come to rest on the track ballast.
Percy and the Deputation
Written by the Rev. W. Awdry, TrainKing James, Victor Tanzig, Tobias Muse & Broa Island
Proofread and Corrected by BNSF1995
"I'm Gonna Be" written by The Proclaimers
Snow came early that year.
It was heavier than usual. It stayed too, and choked the lines. Most locomotives hate snow, and no, it's not because they're Christmas grinches, it's because this "fluffy white stuff" brings with it a whole host of problems. Ports would often shut down due to ice covered waters, so a railway looses out on its transportation contracts. A great many mining-based industries would sometimes close for the season, so they were denied those jobs as well.
And finally, there's the snow itself. Whenever there's a heavy downpour of the stuff, sidings may become blocked and mainlines obstructed. This would often lead to cancelled trains. When this happened, most of the engines would be drafted in to clear the tracks, equipped with their cumbersome snowploughs. However, around this time, and out of every engine on Sodor, there were two in particular that excelled at clearing snow!
Donald and Douglas were used to the snow. They knew what to do. They told their drivers their plan, and they passed it on to Mr. Dibdin, the inspector, who gave the idea his go ahead. Coupled back to back, with a van between their tenders, and a snowplough on their fronts, the Twins set to work!
To hear them tell it, the snowdrifts in Scotland were thirty-feet deep, meaning it was child's play to clear the ones on Sodor, even during so-called 'bad' periods. They puffed busily backwards and forwards patrolling the line. Thanks to their tireless efforts, many yards were cleared, and many engines pulled from snowy situation.
Generally the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. The Twins would charge them again and again, snorting, slipping, puffing, panting, till they had forced their way through.
Presently they came to a drift which was larger than most.
"Good grrief!"
"What is it, Douggie?"
"We got oorselves a doozy here, Donal!"
"A bonnie pile of snow, hae we? Nothin' we canny handle, I'm shair."
"I dinna say I wuz worried, only that I'm imprressed."
With that, Donald and Douglas charged the drift! They were just backing away for another try when-
"peep… peep…" came a feeble whistle.
The Twins froze. They looked all around to try and find the source of the whistling. The "peep… peep…" came again, now accompanied by the muffled screams of terrified people.
"Oi!" cried Donald from the back. "Who's There?"
"Donald?" came the muffled reply. "Is that you? Is Douglas with you? Oh, by oath I'm glad you're here."
"JESUS CHRIST!" screamed Douglas when he realized who he was talking to. "It's Henry! How long hae ye been in there?!"
"I don't know. Is it still 1959?"
Dinna fash yersel, Henry! Bide a wee. We'll hae ye oot!"
"WAIT A WHILE?! ARE YOU BEING CLEVER?!"
"Oh! Sorry. Poor choice o' words."
Six hours passed.
Once Henry had been freed from the snow's icy tendrils, Donald and Douglas hauled him and his passenger train to Tidmouth Station, where a cordon of ambulances were waiting to take the passengers to hospital. No one was physically hurt, but a number of hours trapped under an almost airtight pile of snow had did a number on the passengers of an older age. In the end, thanks to the Twins' efforts, no one lost their lives that day, and all involved would make a slow recovery in hospital.
Unfortunately, early the previous morning, the Fat Controller had been called away to attend a meeting of BR's region controllers in London, meaning he wasn't there to witness the whole ordeal. Mr. Dibdin was filling in for the stout gentleman while he was away, and although he promised to inform the Fat Controller of their heroic efforts when he returned around four days' time, Donald and Douglas still had their doubts.
Later, the Twins pushed Henry back to Tidmouth Sheds where Duck, James, Percy, and Gordon were waiting. Percy, along with Thomas and Toby, had been called from Ffarquhar to help out on the main line for a while, as the branch line had been shut down due to the sudden snowfall. The green saddle tank engine would be assisting Duck in the yards at Knapford, and was busy reacquainting himself with the big engines when Donald, Douglas, and Henry arrived.
The Scots helped Henry onto the turntable and, once turned and using what was left of his own steam, the green engine backed into his berth, shivering violently as he went. Donald and Douglas also took their place in the sheds soon after.
"Goodness!" exclaimed Gordon, "What happened?!"
"I g-g-g-g-got stuck in the sn-sn-snow," Henry stuttered, "and they-they-they-they rescued me!"
"They are splendid," said James wistfully before scowling at the green engine. "Aren't they, Henry?"
"Yes, yes, you were right," replied Henry almost dismissively.
Despite the waves of cheers and congratulations directed at them, the Twins still looked glum. Duck noticed this. "What's wrong, you two?" he asked.
"The Fat Controller," Donald and Douglas said in unison. "He'll send uz back tae Scotland for shair."
"It really is a shame," sympathised Percy. "Those incidents with the coach and the breakaway were just accidents. I just wish Thomas would see that."
"A lot of nonsense over a destroyed signal box," grumbled Gordon. "Too many of those, if you ask me."
"That spiteful wanker too," put in James. "Good riddance! That's what I say!"
"They were so splendid in the snow," added Henry, his stutter slowly dissipating. "It isn't fair."
"Agreed," said Duck bluntly. "We've got to do something."
"Indeed we should. But what?"
James' question, I'm sorry to say, had the engines stumped for the next seventy-two hours. However, that very question soon spread down the line, and everyone, both human and machine, across the North Western, Skarloey, and Culdee Fell railways all agreed that Something Must Be Done for Donald and Douglas. But none knew what.
The day before the Fat Controller was scheduled to return from London, Dennis arrived at Wellsworth with salt for the station platforms. He found Edward resting in the station yard. If anyone knew how to help the Twins, Dennis thought, it'll be Edward!
"Edward! Edward!" the grey diesel cried, trying to get the blue engine's attention.
"Oh, hello Dennis," Edward smiled. "How are you? Donald and Douglas have done well with the winter patrols, haven't they?"
"Yes…" replied Dennis sadly. "But they'll be sent back if we don't do something. Your old. Surely you must know what to do?"
Edward pondered for a moment. "I see… Well Dennis," the old engine smiled. "What you need is-
-a Depotstation!"
The engines of Tidmouth all looked at Dennis with wide eyes once the young diesel had relayed what Edward had told him.
"Oh no," Duck muttered, "another big word."
"Of course!" cried Gordon in an 'Eureka' sort of way. His face, however, quickly fell. "Uh… The question is… Umm… H-help me out here, Henry."
"…What is a… Desperation?" asked Henry.
"It's when a group of people are sent on a mission on behalf of a larger group," explained Dennis. "Like when the engines tell the Fat Controller something's wrong, and ask him to put in right."
Duck gulped. "Did you say tell the Fat Controller?" There was a long silence…
…
…
…
…
…
"How long has it been?" asked a voice
"Six seconds," replied another bluntly.
"Do we have to start over?"
Gordon scowled at the tittering trucks sitting in the neighboring yard. "I propose," he said at last, "that Percy be our – er – What's the word? – Ah yes! – disputation."
"Indeed, I'll-WAIT! WHAT?!" squeaked Percy.
"Oh, calm down Percy," said Henry. "It's easy."
"NO IT ISN'T!" the small engine protested. "Why can't we get Yang or Thomas or-"
"Then it's settled," said Gordon firmly.
"NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!"
"Well, good night!" sang Molly.
"Good night!" the other engines replied.
They all then quickly disappeared either into the sheds or out into the darkness on their way home. With a rhythmic melody of soft clicks, the streetlights of the yard went out for the night one by one. Percy, still trying to comprehend what'd just happened, was left alone in the dark.
"…ah, fuck," Percy sighed as the last light flickered out.
Soon, the day took over once again. A very downcast Percy was sitting in the yards at Tidmouth Station, when-
"Hullo Percy! It's good to be back."
Percy jumped, and sent some trucks flying down a siding! The Fat Controller, clad in a bee-stripped scarf and black boots, stood before the small green engine, hands clasped behind his back and a warm smile broad across his face.
"Er y-y-yes sir, please sir," stammered Percy.
"You look nervous, Percy," the Fat Controller inquired. "What's the matter?" Seeing Percy like this was almost a non-existent occurrence, as the Ex-GWR Saddle Tank was usually very composed and civilized no matter what the going's-on.
"Please sir, they've made me a… d-d-d-Desperation sir. To speak to you sir. I don't like it, sir."
The Fat Controller pondered. "Do you mean a Deputation, Percy?" he asked, believing stress to be the cause of Percy's mispronunciation of the word.
"Yes sir, please sir," Percy continued with several faults. "It's Donald and Douglas sir. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, they'll be scrapped, sir. That'd be dreadful, sir. Please sir, don't send them away, sir. They're nice engines, sir."
The Fat Controller raised a hand, asking for silence. "Thank you, Percy. That will do." He walked away, deciding it would be for the best if he didn't disclose the stomach-churning information he'd learnt in London to his engines. It would only stress them out more than they already were. With that information in mind, he'd already decided what to do with Donald and Douglas.
But Percy's… Deputation was enough of an alternate reason for his next decision.
That evening, the Fat Controller called Percy, Gordon, Henry, James, Duck and the Scottish Twins to Knapford for a special announcement. He addressed his engines in the yard.
"I had a – er – deputation this morning," he said. The engines all cringed. "I understand your feelings, but I do not approve of your interference." He paused impressively. "Donald and Douglas, I hear from both the engines and Mr. Dibdin that your work in the snow was good these past few days. Tomorrow, I want you both to report to Croven's Gate where you'll both be repainted in NWR Blue. You'll also be given nameplates, that way we'll have no more 'mistakes'. No objections! Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sirr," the Twins said sadly. But then… Their faces lit up when they realized what he'd just said. "Wait! Dis this mean that the baith o' uz…?!"
The Fat Controller smiled. "It means…"
But the rest of his speech and apologizes were drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles!
The Twins were here to stay!
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you
When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver (Hover? Haver.), then I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
[]
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door
[]
When I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (when I come home) well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow-old (when I grow-old) well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
[]
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door
[]
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
[]
When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you
When I go out (when I go out) well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home (when I come home) yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you
[]
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door
[]
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
[]
AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES!
AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE!
JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKED A THOUSAND MILES!
TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR!
[]
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)!
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)!
DA DA DA DUN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UH DA!
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)!
DA DA DA (DA DA DA)!
DA DA DA DUN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UH DA!
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da
[slow fade out]