A Chance for a Better Life
Chapter Six
Three years had gone by, and a lot had changed. Danny and Linda had gotten engaged two years earlier before he enlisted in the Marines. Joe graduated high school and was attending John Jay for Criminal Justice before attending the police academy. Erin was stressed out beyond imagination working through her senior year, and she was making life difficult for everyone in the house. Mary and Frank were both thankful that Jamie was an easy child. He had a lot of extracurricular activities, and always did excellent in school. Jamie had joined the running club, debate club, he volunteered in the soup kitchen at least once a week, and he had worked with his teachers to start a pen pal program with Danny's unit. Jamie was very scared that his oldest brother wouldn't come home.
Jamie had found refuge at Joe and Linda's apartments to get away from Erin. He loved her, but she was focused on her own goals and was not aware of the effect that she was having on the rest of the family. Mary and Frank had both had multiple conversations with her about how she was acting, but so far, the conversations had fallen on deaf ears.
Mary was back to spending more time at the soup kitchen. Joe and Linda each picked Jamie up from school one day a week to spend some time with him. It was obvious to everyone that Frank was going to climb the NYPD latter like his father, and they all knew what that meant. Frank would be working long hours and at times they may go days without seeing him. They all understood, but it didn't always make it easier.
Jamie was happy that the school year was already half over. Normally he didn't want the school year to end, but he was ready to attend Erin's graduation. Plus, he knew after this summer he'd be the only kid in the house.
Finally, they got some good news. Danny was coming home for good. They all couldn't be happier. Sunday dinner that week was spent talking about Danny's favorites and things that they wanted to do to welcome him home. Jamie was so excited he couldn't eat, and it was becoming a theme that was beginning to worry everyone. Jamie had grown a few inches but was on the skinny side.
Mary had noticed Jamie seemed more tired than normal. He was still pushing himself to do everything on his schedule. The day before Danny was going to be home life took a drastic turn.
"Frank, is Jamie up yet?" Breakfast was already on the table and Jamie was the only one of the four kids that always got himself up and ready for the day.
"No. His door was still shut when I walked down." He turned to Erin who was eating quickly so she could make it to school early. "Erin, did you see him while you were getting ready?"
"No, he's usually up before me, but his door was still closed today, and last night he told me he wasn't feeling well."
Mary worried. "Did he say what was wrong?"
"I saw a couple big bruises and he said he was sore all over like he was getting a cold or a flu, but I got him some medicine and he just fell asleep. He's probably just still sleeping. The kid never wants to take any drugs." Erin's attitude was coming out strong at the end.
"Erin, you know he has his reasons, and we have to respect those reasons. Frank, can you check on him before work, and I'll take Erin to school since her car is still not working."
"Yeah. Have a great day, Erin." Frank was more than a little frustrated with his daughter. She wasn't raised to be as selfish as she had been acting.
Frank opened Jamie's door and sucked in a big breath. He was regretting his stop in the den to pick up some files he'd brought home. Jamie was as pale as a ghost, and it was obvious that he had a fever. He could see beads of sweat on the side of his face. The sheets on Jamie's bed were navy blue, but even as dark as they were it was obvious that they were wet.
"Jamie." Frank whispered. He hadn't wanted to scare Jamie awake.
Jamie didn't move and hadn't moved since he'd entered the room. His level of concern was growing by the minute. He gently shook Jamie's shoulder. Again, he didn't respond. Frank didn't hesitate at that point.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"My name is Sergeant Reagan badge number 20576, and I need a bus sent to my residence my eleven-year-old son is unresponsive and running a high fever."
"Sergeant, an ambulance is on the way. Please stay on the line with me and let me know if there are any other changes."
Ten minutes later the ambulance arrives, and they prep Jamie and get him to King's County hospital. Frank had left a note on the door for Mary to come to the hospital as soon as she got home.
Henry was getting notified that one of his family members had been taken to Kings County because the call had gone out over the air. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he had a bad feeling. He called Joe to find out if he knew anything and he didn't, but that was enough to have Joe making his way to the hospital.
At the hospital Frank was pacing. The boy that was brought in was nothing like his son. Jamie was quiet, but always active and full of life. When Mary saw Frank pacing her anxiety multiplied. Frank only paced when something was really wrong.
"What happened Frank? You were in the den when Erin and I left."
"I shouldn't have stopped in the den. Mary, Jamie was white as a ghost, running a high fever, and he's been unresponsive the entire time."
"Did we miss something? Is there something we could've done to prevent this?" Thoughts were pouring into Mary's brain out of control.
"I don't know. The only thing I've noticed is that Jamie's been tired lately. Have you noticed anything?"
"He's had a few bloody noses, but he hasn't said anything." Mary knew if everyone had been at home at the same time, they could have figured out he was sick sooner.
"Mary he won't say anything. He never complains about anything. That makes him our easiest child because he just always seems happy, but our hardest because we never know what he's really feeling."
"I know."
They sat and began the long waiting process. They didn't want anyone in the family to worry until they knew something more.
"Mom, Dad, what happened? Is it Jamie or Erin?" Joe worried. Since both of his parents were in the waiting room, he knew it was one of his siblings.
"It's Jamie, and we don't know. Hopefully the doctor will be out soon. How did you find out?"
"Grandpa called me to find out if I knew anything."
Five minutes later Henry joined with his detail. "Who is it? What happened?"
"Jamie and we don't know yet."
Henry sent his detail away. He didn't need them around to add to the family's stress.
A half hour later a doctor came out.
"Family of Jameson Reagan?" Dr. Winslow asked looking around the busy waiting room.
"That's us. Is my brother, okay?" Joe didn't like the look on the doctor's face.
"Please follow me." The doctor led the family into a private room. "Are both of you, his parents?" Dr. Winslow looked at Frank and Mary taking a guess.
"Yes." Frank and Mary said at the same time.
"Are you okay with everyone in this room knowing the situation?"
"Yes, we are all his family. Is it bad doctor?" Mary's anxiety peaked when they walked into the private room.
"We want to transfer Jamie to Mount Sinai. They will be able to take care of Jamie."
"Why?" This added to Mary's worry.
"When?" Frank was waiting for an answer to both questions.
Joe and Henry were waiting for more information, and they just wanted to see Jamie.
"At this time, we think he has some type of blood disorder, but the doctors at Mount Sinai will be able to help him better than we can." Dr. Winslow didn't want to scare them.
"When will he be transferred?"
"Tomorrow morning. I have some paperwork for both of you to sign. Please follow me."
Ten minutes later Frank and Mary are led to Jamie's room. He's asleep, but Frank noticed unlike when he found him that he was moving a little and he had a little more color.
"Mary, I'm going to get pop and Joe."
Mary sat and gently held Jamie's hand. She hated seeing any of her kids sick, but she had never seen any of her kids this sick.
By the time Henry and Joe enter the room with Frank Jamie's starting to wake up.
"Jamie, it's okay. How are you feeling?" Mary gently ran her fingers through Jamie's hair.
"I'm tired. Where am I?" Jamie was looking around.
"You're at the hospital. You're sick, so we had to bring you so you can get better." Frank choked out.
"I get to be home for Danny tomorrow, right? I don't feel that bad." Jamie was hopeful.
Everyone looked at each other trying to figure out the best way to tell Jamie the truth.
"Jamie, tomorrow morning the doctors are going to transfer you to another hospital so they can figure out what's wrong and start making you better."
"No, Danny comes home tomorrow. I have to be there. I can't miss his homecoming. I'll be good. Please." Jamie begged. He didn't want his brother to come home to find him in the hospital. Danny thought he was going to cause trouble and now he was.
"Jamie, we know you want to be home, but if the doctor says you have to stay in the hospital, then we need to listen to them." Frank hated seeing Jamie so upset.
Jamie had tears running down his face and he was getting exhausted again. He just wanted to sleep and forget about where he was and what was happening.
Frank had an idea. He went on his mission to find the doctor.
"Dr. Winslow, is there any way that Jamie could be moved tonight? He's really upset that he won't be home to see his big brother come home. He's a marine and been gone for the last two years."
"Let me get it organized. I think Jamie's stable enough to move."
"Thank you."
Three hours later Jamie's in the ambulance on his way to Mount Sinai in Manhattan. Joe was headed to Bay Ridge to pick up Erin and explain what had happened. She arrived home from school an hour earlier.
"Joe, what the hell, where is everybody. Danny comes home tomorrow. We need to start getting ready and I have stuff to do for school." Erin yelled. She was so stressed out about everything that she needed life to go her way.
"Jamie's being transported to Mount Sinai. I'm here to pick you up. Dad requested all of us be there when Jamie gets there. He's scared." Joe was done with Erin's attitude. What mattered now was Jamie.
"What's wrong? Is he okay?"
"The doctor at Kings think he has some type of blood disorder." Joe explained as they walked to the Chevelle.
"What does that mean?" Erin's head was spinning.
"Is that why he wasn't awake this morning?"
"Erin, when Dad found Jamie, he was white as a ghost, he was burning up and unresponsive. Dad called a bus. You know how bad it has to be for Dad to ask for help. I think he was afraid to move him."
"Oh my god. Is he gonna be, okay?"
"We don't know. They were gonna move him tomorrow, but Dad asked if they would move him tonight so he can be all set up tomorrow when Danny gets home. Jamie's upset that he can't be home for Danny." Joe turned to Erin while at a stop light. "He cried himself to sleep."
"Joe, he's gonna be alright though?"
Joe was afraid and he felt bad that he hadn't been spending as much time with Jamie since he'd moved out. "I don't know Erin."
A half an hour later they arrived at the hospital. Their Dad and Grandpa were already there waiting for the ambulance with Mary and Jamie.
"Dad, why couldn't they take care of Jamie at Kings?" Erin wondered looking around the waiting area.
"Kings doesn't have what they need to take care of Jamie. He'll get better care here?"
"Does Linda know?" Erin didn't want her future sister-in-law left out.
"She's in the ambulance with Mary and Jamie." Henry said happy that Linda had volunteered to ride along. Linda had given Jamie an added sense of peace.
Ten minutes later the ambulance arrived. They already had his room in the pediatric oncology unit ready for him. The entire family sucked in a breath when they heard what floor of the hospital they were headed to.
"Did he sleep the entire way?" Frank asked Linda and Mary.
"They gave him something to help him sleep although I don't think he needed it." Mary was glad that Jamie was moved. She didn't like the way Jamie had been treated before he was being moved.
"The nurses and doctors here are going to run a couple blood tests and then early tomorrow morning they are going to do a bone marrow biopsy." Linda explained.
"Linda, do you know what they really suspect?"
"Yes." Linda hated the idea that she might be right. If that was the case Jamie was in for a long hard fight.
"Linda, please tell us." Mary begged. She had to know what her youngest was up against. She couldn't fathom losing a child.
"Leukemia." Linda held back tears.
"No." Joe's thoughts went back to the previous week at school. The school had a blood drive, and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society did their first bone marrow doner drive. He was thankful that he'd taken the leap and registered. The week before all he was thinking about that he never wanted any little kid to have to deal with cancer, and now it was affecting his own family.
Henry had to walk away. This couldn't be happening to his family a second time. Once outside Henry was able to really take a deep breath.
"Betty, I know you're with Peter now. I don't know if you know what's going on down here, but they think that our own little angel Jamie might have leukemia. You know how hard his life has been. We need him here with us. Please watch over him and help keep him here with us."
After fifteen minutes Henry went back upstairs to find only Joe in the waiting room.
"Where's everyone else?"
"Mom and Dad are with Jamie's new doctor signing off on everything that they need to for the tests that they need to do to confirm their diagnosis. Linda and Erin are in with Jamie. He's in his room, and it's going to be his home for a while actually."
"Can we go and see him or are visitors limited?"
"Yeah, we can. I waited for you."
They walked down the brightly colored hallway to find Jamie in his own room that had pictures of cars on the walls, but that was where the childish fun stopped. Jamie was hooked up two IVs and was being given oxygen. Joe hated seeing him this way. Henry was experiencing some of the same emotions.
"Hey baby bro. Do you like your new room?" Joe joked.
"It has cars. I like the cars, but do I really have to stay here? I don't want to stay here. I want to go home."
"Yeah. The doctors have more work to do. It will be okay, Jamie. You won't be alone. I promise someone will always be with you." Henry was determined. Jamie would never be alone. He'd quit if he had to so he could be at the hospital all the time.
"Ok." Jamie's fears were coming to the surface. He was worried now that he was sick that the Reagan's wouldn't want him anymore and he would be alone again. Each time he started to really get scared he would fall back to sleep. It was easy to do because he was so exhausted all the time.
Frank and Mary were still in with the doctor.
"Mr. and Mrs. Reagan, Jamie's CBC shows obvious signs of leukemia. We want to do the bone marrow biopsy to determine how severe and to really know what we're really dealing with."
"How long will he be in the hospital?" Mary worried. She didn't want any member of her family in the hospital, but more so not Jamie. Not only was he the youngest but he had other issues that she was worried they were going to come to the surface.
"For a while. The treatment is going to be as hard or harder on his system than the leukemia itself. He'll need to be monitored around the clock. He'll have an entire team of doctors and nurses. We will do everything we can so he can beat this."
"Is there anything that we can do to help?" Frank hated not having any control in a situation.
"Donate blood, get registered for the bone marrow registry, be here for him. He's going to have multiple CT scans and MRIs, and those are scary procedures for adults. You can't be in the tests with him but being here to keep him calm before he goes in and when he gets out will really help him. Every room has a pull-out bed for a parent. Bring some things from home to get him comfortable and make the hospital room feel like his own room."
"If he does need a transplant what are his chances?" Mary couldn't hide her fear.
"His chances are higher getting a donation from a relative. Considering the size of your family his chances are better."
"He's adopted, and his only living relative in prison." Mary cried.
"Don't worry about that until we get to that point. Jamie's young and seems very determined. When we took blood earlier, he just looked at me and said 'I'll do whatever it takes to get better. I need to go to college someday.' Your son is very strong and determined."
"We know he is. He's survived a lot to get to this point." If Jamie was that strong and determined, then he would be too. Hearing your child has cancer is harder than he could ever imagine because there's nothing that you can do to really help him.
When they get to Jamie's room the entire family is waiting outside.
"Is everything okay?" Mary worried. She had so much to worry about at this point.
"Yeah, they are just checking his vitals and adjusting some medicine." Henry explained.
"He looks so little in that bed." Erin cried.
"Is there anything we can do?" Joe asked wanting to jump into action like his dad.
"Give blood. There's a Leukemia and Lymphoma Society where we can register to see if we might be bone marrow doners, and just be here with him when you can be. I'm gonna go home and get some of his things. We need to make this room feel like home for him. Mary or I will be here every night with him."
"Ok."
Henry was thinking about starting a department wide blood donation and bone marrow registry day or days so everyone could get a chance to donate and get the word out.
"I donated blood last week as part of a blood drive at school, and I'm already registered. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society was there. It was their first event with the school."
"What made you decide to register?" Erin was curious. No one had known Jamie was sick until that morning.
"My friend Aaron's dad has been battling cancer for the last couple years, and it's a hard battle. All I could think last week was no kid should ever have to endure that. I had no idea that it would be hitting so close to home."
"What did you have to do to register?" Henry wanted to know what he was asking of his cops.
"Just swab my mouth. It was easy and didn't take long." Joe hoped he could help his brother.
"Great." At least that was good news.
Ten minutes later they were all allowed back in Jamie's room. Frank was on his way home to get some stuff for Mary and Jamie. Their lives had changed drastically, and he wasn't sure he knew how to handle it.
"Hey baby brother. Feel any better with your new medicine?" Erin was trying to figure out how to deal with all the changes in her life. She had a test at school the next day, and just a few hours earlier she was ready to yell at anyone that disturbed her. Now she wanted to call in sick so she could be there to make his day better.
"I feel weird, but the doctor said that it was how I'm supposed to feel. He said this medicine is going to make tomorrow easier."
"The doctor is gonna make you better." Joe smiled. He hated not knowing if he was lying or not.
Two hours later visiting hours were over. Joe and Henry were both headed to their own homes, and Frank, Erin and Linda were headed to Bay Ridge. Danny wasn't supposed to get home until the early afternoon. Jamie's test was early in the morning. The doctor said that he'd be uncomfortable after so they'd give him something to sleep for a while, but he would be ready to see his big brother when he got home.
Mary had been shown around. They even had small private spaces for the parents if they needed a quiet place to breath, think, cry, or just spend some time alone, but they didn't want to leave the hospital. The room had its own bathroom with a shower. She had space to keep some clothes and she'd been told that she was allowed to stay with Jamie all night. Frank would get the same tour the following night. They were trying to figure out who would be with Jamie each night. Joe and Henry both wanted to be able to stay with him too incase it didn't work out that Frank or Mary could be there.
Mary was going to work with the school, so Jamie didn't fall behind. The entire family knew how important school was to him, and when he was well enough, they knew that he'd want to keep up and schoolwork was something normal to keep his mind off things.
Jamie's biopsy went as well as it could the next morning. He was tired and sore, but he'd finally been told what was going on. He understood why he couldn't go home. He knew he didn't just have a cold or the flu. He understood that he could die, but the doctors were going to do everything in their power to stop that from happening. He was trying to not be afraid, but it wasn't working so well. He was thinking about all the things he'd never get to do and expierence.
Linda was going to pick Danny up and bring him to Mount Sinai. Jamie had told her that he didn't think he'd get to see Danny anytime soon and he was heartbroken. The doctors were not going let him go home even for a few hours, and he was heartbroken.
Danny's plan when he came home was to relax until the academy started. He planned on picking up a few odd jobs here and there, but beyond that spending time with the family was his priority. Spending time overseas and seeing kids that were homeless and living in less-than-ideal conditions helped him understand his parents reasoning for wanting to help Jamie. He'd been traveling for the last two days so he had no idea about what was going on at home. He'd never been happier to see JFK airport in his life. He couldn't wait to get home.
The first thing he noticed when he saw Linda that she was in her scrubs, and she looked tired. Danny guessed that she'd just gotten off a long shift and was thankful that she'd come to pick him up.
"I'm so happy to see you Lin." Danny whispered in her ear while giving her the biggest hug of his life.
"Danny, I'm so happy that you're home!"
"Let's go home. I'm hungry."
"I have a different idea. Where do you want to grab something to eat. I need to talk to you." Linda was trying not to worry Danny, but lack of sleep was making things hard.
"Lin, we can go anywhere. I'm hungry, but you look like something's bothering you. Want me to drive?"
"You can drive if you want, but we need to go to Manhattan not Brooklyn."
"Lin, tell me what's going on."
"Jamie's in the hospital, and he's worried that because he's in the hospital that he won't get to see you."
"What happened?" Danny figured he broke his arm or that it was something small. All he could think was that it was bad timing.
"He's sick Danny. He's really sick."
"Lin, I know everyone's worried about me, but just tell me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on."
Linda couldn't help but cry. Jamie was so sweet, and she loved him so much. She'd never forget the big smile on his face the day he got adopted, and how quiet and helpful he always was.
"Jamie has leukemia. He got his final diagnosis this morning. He's gonna start chemo in the next few days. They're optimistic, but we are still learning things. Today is really only day two."
"Oh my god." Danny didn't know what to think. This was crazy. "Lin, I saw a lot of kids in Iraq who were homeless and didn't have enough food, and each little boy I saw reminded me of Jamie. We can't lose him. He's a Reagan. He's strong."
"Yes, he is. Your Mom is working out a rough schedule so Jamie's never alone. He's gonna feel like he's turning into a pin cushion and the hospital will be home for a while."
"I'll talk to Mom. I don't have anything lined up, so I'll fill in between everyone's schedules. What hospital is he at? I'm not hungry anymore?"
"Mount Sinai."
A half hour later they were making their way up to Jamie's room. The entire family was in the waiting room when they got off the elevator.
"Danny, son. I'm so glad your home safe." Mary cried hugging her oldest.
"Son, I'm glad your home safe. Sorry we couldn't have a better homecoming." Frank patted Danny on the back.
"Hey big bro. Glad your home. You can do the dishes at Sunday dinner for a while." Joe joked.
"Yeah, you can take my turn too." Erin squeezed her brother hard. She'd missed him a lot and didn't understand the impact of his deployment until he was home.
"Hey, the only chores I'm picking up are Jamie's. You fools can do your own work." Danny laughed. "How's the kid?"
"Getting checked out again. He's had a long day; they did the biopsy at five this morning. The medications that they're giving him are preparing him for his first chemo treatment. They said that the next month or two is going to be rough."
"When can I see him, or can he come out?" Danny was afraid. He thought he was afraid in Iraq, but the fear he was feeling now was different. Family was everything to him, and to know any of them were suffering was terrifying.
"We have to wait for the doctor to come out then we'll let you have a few minutes alone with him." Frank said worried about his entire family. He'd seen too many people lose children in his career and the effect it had on their families.
Henry had been quiet watching everyone. He was happy that Danny was home and in one piece and knew after his and his son's experience that he would have his own struggles, but he couldn't take his mind off of his son Peter and Jamie. He wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that Peter couldn't tell him how he felt when he got sick. Jamie isn't the loudest kid in the family by any means, but he has started speaking up and speaking his mind the more comfortable he's gotten. To any guest that was spending time with the family they would never know that he wasn't theirs from birth.
An hour later the doctor asked for Frank and Mary, and said that Jamie could have a visitor, but not to excite him too much. The stress of the last two days is catching up with him.
Jamie was staring out his fifth-floor window looking at Manhattan. He was tired, he hurt all over, and he'd had a really bad bloody nose when he was supposed to be home celebrating Danny. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking that life had been too good. At least the last three years has been amazing. He loved the Reagans and he got to go to a wonderful school, and he'd made some good friends. The more he thought about it he really couldn't complain about anything. If the worst did happen, he would get to see his mom, and her parents, and Grandma Betty again. Jamie was lost in all of the thoughts swirling through his head that he didn't hear his door open. When he did hear a noise, he just figured that it was another nurse or doctor to poke him some more.
"Jamie, are you awake?" Danny whispered. He couldn't see Jamie's face, but what he did see broke his heart. Jamie was white as a ghost, and he could see bruises on his arms where his IVs had been placed in.
Jamie's head whipped around. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd told everyone to go home and give Danny the welcome home that they'd planned for him. He said he would be okay being alone for a few hours. He'd sleep most of the time anyway.
"Danny! Why are you here and not at home at your party?"
"I'm where I'm supposed to be. Can I hug you?" Danny was afraid that he'd hurt Jamie. He'd lost so much weight since he'd seen him last.
"Yeah!" Jamie smiled for the first time in two days.
The hugged for a few minutes, both happy for the affection for different reasons. Jamie couldn't believe that Danny came to the hospital so soon after getting home. He was still in his uniform. Tears were falling because his big brother was finally home. Danny was trying to stop his brain from going down the what if road. What if it had been a Saturday and the family just thought Jamie was sleeping in and no one found him in time. What if his tour had been extended and he never got to spend any more time with Jamie or say good-bye.
"How do you feel kid? Tell me the truth."
"I'm tired, my hip hurts, I had a really bad bloody nose earlier and I'm hooked up to so many wires I almost feel like an alien." Jamie laughed.
"I heard Mom stayed with you last night, who's staying tonight?"
"Dad. Mom's gonna talk to my teacher tomorrow and it's hard to get a good night's sleep here."
"How would you feel if I stayed with you some nights?"
"You would do that? Linda's really missed you. She needs you at home too." Jamie didn't want everyone to stop their lives for him. No one could stop death. He'd learned that lesson when he was a little boy.
"What if I stayed nights that Linda's working nights? I can take care of you when she's taking care of others."
"Okay. I love you Danny and I'm glad that you're home safe." Jamie said with a smile as he fell asleep.