Disclaimer: I do not own That '70s Show. All rights belong to the Carsey-Werner Company, LLC.

"Liminal space can best be described as going through a change or going from place to place - from one thing to the next. It's the space between what is and what will happen next." - Melissa Cohen, transition expert and licensed clinical social worker, Forbes

o-o-o

Late August

"God, that's crazy." I point at Steven. "You so came on to me first."

And it's true. He did. I'd swear it. Okay, so maybe we didn't shake it to ABBA like I'd just told Donna. But Steven was lying through his teeth, too. Although I guess the reality is that what actually happened was a bit more…complicated.

Before I can think about it too much though, Donna interjects, her tone accusatory. "You know, you said you didn't have a new boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," I say quickly.

Steven echoes my sentiment not even a beat later. "I'm not her boyfriend."

He slams his hand down on the couch. Then his attention shifts to me, and the look in his eyes - unshielded by his shades - is disarming. As the summer passed and Steven and I had spent increasingly more time together, I noticed that he was taking his shades off around me more often. They were off now because he and I had been alone in the basement until we were interrupted by our less-than-amused friends.

But it didn't matter that he'd been taking his shades off more frequently. I'd never get used to the beauty and openness of his eyes when they were not hiding behind his shades. With them off, he couldn't hide anything. Just like how right now, he couldn't hide the fact that every word out of his mouth - including that he wasn't my boyfriend - was a lie.

"They just don't get it," Steven says knowingly to me.

"No. Why would they?" I gesture to him. "Let's go, baby."

Okay, so maybe we weren't dating and maybe we didn't use labels like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', but I was quickly realizing, especially now that Donna and Michael were back from California, that whatever was going on between me and Steven was a lot stronger and more real than I could have ever imagined.

Because, it was like I was thinking earlier. The way this had started with Steven this summer was…a little confusing. On paper, we'd been sitting in the basement, just the two of us, which had become pretty customary in the few weeks following Donna and Michael's escape to California. The Price Is Right was on TV, and I'll never forget it because one second Steven and I were both whining about the show and this lousy summer, and the next we were making out.

Suffice it to say that the summer got a lot more interesting after that.

But it's that moment before we had come together that was still troubling me. I could not for the life of me remember when I decided I wanted to kiss Steven. All I knew now was that as this summer was coming to an end, I didn't want to stop.

"You're quiet," Steven observes, looking down at me.

I glance around. After leaving the basement, he and I moved to the Forman driveway. Steven was dribbling the basketball, and I was leaning against one of the posts near the Forman's sliding glass door.

I can't help the small smile that creeps onto my face. A month ago, Steven would have reveled in my silence. Now he was inquiring about it. Already so much had changed.

"Just thinking." I shrug.

Steven tucks the ball under his arm and takes a step toward me. But a second later, Eric, Fez, and Donna emerge from the backyard. They pause when they see Steven moving toward me. Eric's eyes practically bulge out of his sockets and Donna just tilts her head slightly, watching us curiously. Her gaze lands on mine and I immediately turn my attention towards Steven. Her freak out in the basement still stung.

"All right, that's it," Eric says in his squeaky voice, "you two are everywhere." He flails his arms, waving back and forth between me and Steven. "Come on, Donna. Let's go to The Hub. Fez, you coming?"

Eric doesn't wait for his response. He makes a point of marching straight through the empty, almost non-existent space that exists between me and Steven. Donna follows his lead, pointedly silent. Fez follows last, oblivious to the tension and murmuring excitedly about the gumball dispenser that had shown up at The Hub a few weeks ago.

Once they've rounded the corner of the driveway, Steven closes the last of the space between us. "Well, that was fun."

He leans in, and I meet him halfway for a searing kiss. But before it can get too deep, I finagle the basketball out from under his arm and step back. I start dribbling the ball. Steven watches me for a second.

"So, what are you thinking about?" he asks.

"I'm imagining that this ball is Eric's head right about now," I say jokingly. Or well, not that jokingly. I actually was imagining Eric and his stupid, bulging eyes from moments earlier superimposed onto this basketball.

"Fair enough," Steven says, coolly. "But I was talking about earlier. When you were being all quiet when we left the basement."

I glance up at Steven, surprised. "Still hung up on that?"

Steven scowls at me. "No. I'm not hung up on anything."

He snatches the ball from me, then turns and sends it sailing for the hoop. Once he's retrieved it, he walks back over to me and considers his words carefully.

"But I know you, and I know that you're never this quiet except when something heavy's on your mind."

"You really want to know?" I ask.

"Can't say that I do," Steven quips. "But I figure I'm going to hear about it eventually anyway. Better get it over with now."

I just roll my eyes. Before this summer, I would have been totally appalled by these words. But now? Well, Steven may claim to know me, but I also was really starting to know him. And I knew this was just a front and he actually did want to know what was troubling me.

"We obviously both lied down there," I start.

"What?" Steven asks, clearly not following.

"In the basement," I explain. "Neither one of us told the truth about what actually happened this summer."

Steven seems to be losing his patience. "So?"

I sigh. "So…I guess I'm just wondering how you actually remember it?"

Steven shrugs. He'd put his shades back on once we'd left the basement, and now he uses a finger to slide them back up the bridge of his nose, an obvious tell that he was uncomfortable.

"What's there to tell? We just started making out on the couch one day in the basement."

I regard him curiously. "That's it?" I press.

"What are you getting at, Jackie?"

I'm about to explain myself further when over Steven's shoulder, I see Michael rapidly approaching. My instinct is to step away from Steven, but in the last second, I decide not to. Still, I want to give Steven the chance to move away if he so chooses, so I give him a warning.

"Hey, Michael," I call, glancing over at him. Then I immediately turn my attention back to Steven.

Steven moves, but only to turn to face Michael. He doesn't step away from me either, although I notice the sudden tension in his shoulders.

"Have you guys seen Fez?" Michael asks, walking right up to us. "Did you know there's a new gumball dispenser at The Hub?"

"Old news, man," Steven tells him. "Been there for weeks." Then he pauses, his head shifting ever so slightly in my direction before he speaks again. "Life moved on here while you were in California."

As expected, this is completely lost on Michael.

"You just missed him," I say, eager to get back to my conversation with Steven. "He's already on his way to The Hub."

Michael nods. "Okay, see you guys later."

I watch him retreat, surprised he hadn't questioned me and Steven hanging out together, let alone our proximity. But then, it was Michael, so it wasn't that surprising after all. Once he's gone, I immediately start heading toward the side of the yard in the direction of the basement stairwell. I'd rather finish this conversation with Steven in private, without any more interruptions. I had to get to the bottom of this thing now.

"So, that's it?" I ask Steven again. "We just started hooking up in the basement one day?"

Steven's agitation from earlier returns with my questioning, but he follows me nonetheless. "I still don't know what you mean by 'that's it?'."

"I mean…" I take a deep breath. "Was there no, like, build-up for you? 'Cause I don't usually just start making out with random guys just because I'm like, bored or something."

We're descending down the stairs, but Steven reaches out and tugs on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around to face him.

"I'm not a random guy, Jackie."

"Exactly!" I say. "You're not a random guy. You are someone I know and have spent a lot of time with. So I wouldn't just make out with you, unless… unless - "

"You had feelings for me," Steven says, matter of factly.

I didn't want to say it. Because I knew if I did, Steven would immediately shut down. But now here he was, saying it for me, putting the words out there to sit between us.

"Yeah." I hesitate. "Okay, its out there now. I admit it. I have feelings for you, Steven. And I guess I'm just trying to figure out when I started to have feelings for you. And I thought, if you also had - I mean - if, if making out with me also wasn't completely random for you, then when did it start for you?"

I am completely rambling by the end, and I can no longer meet Steven's eyes. I almost wish I had a pair of my own shades.

"Are you asking when I started to have feelings for you?" Steven asks.

I look up at him immediately. I was expecting a lot of different reactions from him, but not this. But as was his style, his words are still frustratingly vague because I cannot decipher if this means Steven actually has feelings for me…or if he thinks that I think he does because of the question. It doesn't help that his expression is completely unreadable.

But then his demeanor starts to shift ever so slightly. There almost seems to be a challenge in his eyes. He leans forward, a smirk teasing at his lips.

"Tell you what," Steven says. "I'll tell you when I started to have feelings for you, but only if you are then completely honest with me about when you started to have feelings for me."

"Are you serious?"

I don't know what's happening. Steven said he has feelings for me. And he is willingly going to talk about it?

"Completely," he says lightly. I notice the challenge in his eyes again. "Deal?"

"Deal," I agree before I can talk myself out of it. "Okay, Steven. When did you start having feelings for me?"

Steven takes his shades off and tucks them into his collar. He meets my gaze unflinchingly.

"Veteran's Day."

There's an awkward silence as it slowly starts to dawn on me that no punch line is coming. But what Steven was suggesting? I wasn't sure I was ready to handle everything that implied.

"Haha, very funny," I say, shoving his arm playfully. I swallow and even I can hear the uncertainty in my voice when I speak again."But not true."

Steven does that thing where he lifts one eyebrow. "Isn't it?"

My breath comes out shaky. "Um…"

I shift on my feet and then take another step down the stairs, suddenly needing space to figure this out. Steven senses this and pulls his car keys out of his pocket.

His expression is annoyingly unreadable as he gives me one last glance. Even without his damn shades on he manages to be Zen.

He starts retreating back up the steps, away from me. Over his shoulder, he says, "think about it."

So I do. I think about a kiss shared on top of my Lincoln on a chilly November night and the subsequent liminal space of time where everything went unexpectedly downhill, so that come Christmas, Steven and I had become nothing more than two people who co-existed in the same space, nothing more.

Or so I'd thought.

Author's Note: Chapter 1: Secrets & Fantasies will be posted Friday, January 26, 2024.